Confused Dad

What I found fascinating as an educator working with families in the middle class was how was exposed to so much hidden emotional damage. All of it was usually well protected behind years of defence mechanisms. The upper-middle-class have a kind of rushed confusion around life, and particularly around their children because they have been burdened with what seems to be the weight of choice. We want the best for our children, we all do, but defining the idea of what is the best is a little harder. At what cost does your version of best come to you? Everything costs you, and the things I saw that allowed for the middle class to pay for schooling or objects that they defined as good enough was time, willpower, and so often a sidelining of working on their own perceptions of themselves and their worldviews.

In my life everything always felt equally important and I had to get it all done and I would sacrifice whatever it took because the thing is, I saw my sacrifice as a way to prove to myself that I was good enough for my family. My focus was always going outward and pushing into the world and, please don’t get me wrong here, I'm not saying don't be successful. I am saying that aiming for and working towards your own definition of success is fantastic. What I am saying is that my work became a kind of yardstick for my love for my family and it was a way for me to prove it because I intrinsically did not believe I had value myself. After leaving my 11-year long career in education I now feel more love and connection with the people that I care about because when my work identity changed, when I was no longer defined as a teacher or principal, I realised that what was left was that I care deeply for my wife and son even though I had no way to manifest it through working.

On this episode, I share a story where I helped someone and it led to anger being directed towards me. The universe also conspired to get me to connect with a really awesome stay-at-home dad and real estate expert Huge Torres who has more in common with me than I could ever have imagined.

"But what is more disturbing was the fact that of the people were sort of waiting for the fight’s conclusion they were allowing this fight to happen, and all this on my first day in high school. " The worst possible thing that I could have happen to me was to go to an all boys school. The reasons are numerous and the impact of this decision would become a part of me in a very unpleasant way for many years to come.

How does money work in your marriage? You may feel too afraid to share your financial situation with your spouse but by doing so you can change your life. It brings with it self-worth, connection and transparency which will ultimately bring you both closer together. Being brave enough to talk about money means you get to strip away a layer of role-specific, predetermined, social junk and you become a little more human.

Should children be taught to punch others in the face? On this episode, I share an experience I witnessed one afternoon on a playground and ask myself how much preparation and readiness should we be actively teaching our children?

I have a confession to make... I am teaching again. But wait, before you think I have gone insane and am trying to punish myself, it's different this time! How so? I started this podcast on the premise of never going back to it all so what the heck am I doing? Listen and find out.

Have you ever wondered how you would change if you were financially free? I spoke to someone who won the "Set for Life" lottery and I am not sure about how something like that would change me.

In this episode, I talk to a young man from India who has chosen to lose love. Is the cliche that if you really love something you let it go true? I also discuss the idea of opinion as a cultural currency.

Join me as I talk to two different guests who are from very different parts of the world with deeply different interests. I delve into my own feelings of anger as well as challenge myself to keep creating.

What is it that makes people pick themselves up after even the most difficult challenges? Maybe it's genetics , your upbringing or some other form of magic but the human spirit can sometimes be astonishingly resilient.

The little dude and I go ice skating and it is here where I am reminded as to how children help us as adults and how we are perhaps not as grateful as we should be.

On the third episode of the podcast, I talk to a total stranger on the other side of the world about working at home. I also discover a little about myself through the art of housework.

Birthday parties and jumping castles... things I hated as a child, but why was this? I think it had to do with feelings it brought up for me, feelings of vulnerability. I dig a little into my past and examine why I have an aversion to birthdays and why the thought of not buying my childhood cereals scare me.

In the second episode of the show, I discuss the importance of play. Deep play requires you to become emotionally vulnerable, how the heck do you do that when most of your "adult" day has you hiding that inner world?

Your identity is so wrapped in the work you do. What happens when you don't have a job to define yourself with any longer ?