Take Back Dad

Boys and men are under attack, especially in elementary schools. Whether it is deliberate, or accidental, it is happening. History, very recent history, shows us what happens when men take the back seat in shaping and forming their boys as they grow into social structures - chaos. We need good men. 

Have you ever started car shopping and then all of the sudden, you see that car all over the road? Once I started researching society's attack on fathers, I couldn't help but see all the different ways this is happening. Something as small as removing dad from a simple experience is part of a bigger, nefarious, movement - which is the focus of this episode. All it took was removing two word, "with dad." Dads, fight the fatherhood marginalization by refusing to live in the margins. 

Dads take 1 day of leave for a new baby for every 20 days moms take. This is a terrible ratio! Dads need to be at home with their new babies. I discuss some of the obvious, and not so obvious, reasons to take paternity leave. Also, I dive into the reasons dads aren't taking it. 

It has been proven that having dads present in the home reduces negative outcomes in children intellectually, physically, emotionally, and even financially. Yet, society largely ignores this problem and is trying to fix other symptoms caused by the underlying disease of fatherlessness. If we want healthy societies, we need to refocus on fathers and the home. 

I overhead somebody once say, "Now that I have kids, it is scientifically impossible for me to be as happy as I was before." What a terrible thing to say. Imagine having to defend yourself if your child were to ask, "Daddy, do I make you happy?" or "Would you be happier without me?" I won't pretend kids are easy. I also don't think I can overstate the profound meaning and happiness that are possible as a parent. I dig into this topic, along with the study this person cited, and give my take on it.  

So, I just got over a nasty cold, but my voice is still struggling. I sound like a monotone frog. Thanks for sticking with me -- especially through this one. I finish up talking about the ten rules I found in an article dedicated to helping parents teach children how to have a healthy relationship with food. Turns out, the world is against us. 

As it turns out, this is a sensitive topic. I didn't really hide the ball during the last episode. I severely question the way we treat the relationship between our children and food. I think we can do so much better. I continue to explore our relationship with food by discussing a list from the Nemours Foundation detailing rules to help our children control their weight. 

So, I dug up some truth bombs about sugar. By baby's first birthday, and the expected tradition of a gluttony of cake, caused some serious reflection about my relationship with sugar and if I'm in a good spot to really teach her how to have a good relationship with sugar and food. Turns out, this is actually pretty hard to do. 

It's been a while! For those of you waiting for an episode, I apologize. Life got quite busy, which is the topic of the podcast. Being very busy with a new job caused some introspection on trying to allocate time to my family and work. Thanks for sticking with me! Also, my daughter shows up in this episode. You can hear her fussing in the background. Lucky you!

Too often, after something tragic like El Paso and Dayton, we don't learn enough lessons. I simply wanted to share some lessons learned from a dad who lost his life at the El Paso shooting. 

As it turns out, 1 in 10 dads get a form of depression or anxiety. Nobody really talks about this, and this is dumb. It's a very nuanced topic, to be fair, and I can't do it justice in 20 minutes, but at least it's a start. Seeking help to deal with depression or anxiety is an absolute form of strength. It is not weakness. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5675308/ 

The second best advice I got leading up to our delivery was "own the room." This is what empowered me to develop a plan with my wife and feel confident to execute the plan during the labor and delivery process.

Whether people mean to or not, often times, dads' status is reduced down to less than we deserve. True, dads aren't always given the respect they deserve, but it also doesn't mean there aren't lessons to be learned. A recent experience left me both a little amazed at how derogatory people can be, but it also left me really pondering my behaviors and how my behaviors are benefiting my family...or not. 

More on millennials, here. There have been substantial changes in how dads are portrayed in popular media. A lot of these changes happened during prime TV watching years of most millennials. No doubt there are some lasting consequences of these changes in media. 

I'm a millennial and I, along with all other millennials, get a lot of flack for it. We millennials sure have a lot of problems, I'll admit, but we're also winning in some ways too. I think there are some interesting trends we can be excited about. 

The first and best advice I ever received about becoming a dad was, "you are the dad...nobody cares about the dad." It caused some deep reflection as I awaited the arrival of my baby girl. This advice was spot on and it helped me prepare mentally for my role as a dad. 

Thanks for joining me here at Take Back Dad. As a new dad, my world became a lot bigger, more complex, and simply amazing. That said, I believe dads are under attack. I believe dads are being marginalized and deemed as unimportant and unnecessary. So, I'm here to advocate for dads and defend our role in our families and in society.