Talk Me Off

This week on Talk Me Off, RICHARD PLEASE SERIOUSLY YOU HAVE TO STOP. And fetishizing a person's transformation into a vapid airhead, the definition of monogamy and what that means for one avid craigslist poster, Chris looks at a LOT of photos of pieced genitals, and of course FOR THE LOVE OF GOD RICHARD, YOU'RE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF, PLEASE YOU GOTTA LISTEN.

Planning a holiday? Why not cross the lesser barrier mountains and spend some time on circle-jerk beach? Or come with me to the Slash Fiction Sea and together we can create a new ending to Zack Snyder's Batman Vs. Superman. Not the ending we got, but the one we deserve. Let's fuck where everybody can see BUT ABSOLUTELY NOT TOUCH. And please, let's never call it 'sexy time' ever, ever again. Except Borat, because that guy is HILARIOUS.

Coupla late-night sleepy lads here, comin' your way to whisper in your ear about the future of casual sex, where your every thrust and wiggle is measured by sophisticated accelerometers and sensor arrays flanking your genitalia, uploading the data online so everybody who might ever potentially have sex with you can know EXACTLY what they're in for. Also, getting frightened by your own fetish, and Chris and Mark reveal the garments that make 'em feel their finest.