In 2012, I had to make my peace with being a stranger to my own Dad as he strolled his way towards death on a surgery table. Now I force him to write letters explaining how he conceives the world, and how I can begin trying to feel less like a disappointment around him.
Bad Decisions get a terrible reputation. They are actually extremely useful. Because who wants to hear about your perfect life anyways?
Not knowing the real intentions behind each decision your parents make can be hard, but realizing how wrong you were about them is what things truly sad. I have spent a lot of time focussing on how life was unfair to me because of stuff I learned from Dad, but as it turns out, Dad himself had a very different view of the world. Did I assume too much, and should I have listened more? Am I conditioned to approach things in a set way?There are no set answers on how being with your parents is going to feel like, especially as an adult, when you slowly start experiencing the true weight of your decisions. What slowly seems to become apparent is that most things boil down to somehow surviving until the next day appears.