Nobody Needs To Know

heyo. happy bomb in the sky day. tune in for emily and ryan's best tiktoks, but part 2. more toks just for you babey

emily's bladder has stopped eatiner her and we have returned to tiktok, as you might know. this week, emily and ryan sit down and share some of their favorite tiktok finds over the last week.

Emily and Ryan went to the dollar store to get some props. Then they tried to use them in prop comedy, but completely improvised. Let them know how well they did please (and please say good things, thanks.)

it's been a long month. after last episode, we both wanted to come in with no real agenda, which was great. we sing cocomelon, talk about our tiktok addiction, and really just lost control for an hour. tag along, let's go!

content warning: this episode mentions suicide, self-harm, and other not-so-pleasant things. if you may be sensitive to these topics, please skip this episode. in this episode, emily and ryan pull out their journals (or what they can find of them). from middle school/high school frustrations to even just last year, they dive into their thoughts in the moment, reflect on life a little bit, and try to make a sad ass topic into something semi-pleasant.

welcome back to nntk! emily and ryan spent the first part of the show discussing movies (film theory, old movie spoilers, and the movies they’re currently watching). then they both tried their hardest to recognize celebrities by their mouths and chins. it was hard, cut them some slack.

look. we both may have film degrees and we think we’re really talented, but that doesn’t mean that we aren’t also stupid. this may be our most technically terrible episode yet, but we like to think it’s probably comedic anyway. emily and ryan rated their favorite snacks - kind of - they had a choice of 11 snacks they found at the dollar store. in other news: ryan maybe experienced a little bit of weed psychosis, emily is installing a metal puthy, and thomas might be friends with a secret service member?? also, hope you like birds!

it's been a long and tiring existence lately. take a load off and watch us spew our thoughts onto the internet. we wanted to talk about things we couldn't be paid to do, but things devolved.... as usual. things we covered in this episode:
 - Trisha Pastas and Gabbie Hanna feuding - Tana Mongeau and her new agency - Ryan almost getting stabbed in a park - Emily getting impersonated online - Shane Dawson selling merch mystery boxes - talking about how much we’d need to be paid to relive past experiences - how covid made us lose our hair

join emily and ryan as they attempt to refilm episode 22 because they got far too shmoked on 4/20 and lost all control. they play their own version of the newlywed game and proceeded to lose control, just not as much as the time before. enjoy! xoxo, go piss girl.

look, i'm gonna be honest. writing descriptions for episodes like this is kind of impossible. we both pretend to open an imaginary show like at least seven times, nothing makes sense, and we're both confused about it all.

holy shit. we did it. and now you can see us, too! if you're a longtime listener (but not a first-time caller) then find us on youtube! warning tho, we might have radio faces, if you know what we mean. in this episode, we talk about our move to LA and our adventures since then. we're also both sleep-deprived, so enjoy!

Emily and Ryan have returned to the mic! Kind of. We've got some more to reveal next week, but for the time being, enjoy our nonsensical choose your own adventure game. Sorry in advance.

Emily and Ryan quiz each other on their friendship, Ryan finally quit his job, and there's some more secret news on the way... soon. Emily also applies for Education Connection? (We're going biweekly for the next few shows, strap in!)

We're losing control, but it's fine. Everything is fine. We started off with some pop-culture and quickly devolved into some of the weirdest shit we've ever put online. Enjoy this shitshow and say goodbye to our outro copilot, Donald Trump.

Emily and Ryan reflect on the year a little bit and accidentally delve into a discussion about cancel culture and how badly we did on our standardized tests. We decided to be a little more spontaneous with this episode, so be sure to let Emily know if you hate it. Let Ryan know if you love it. Great thanks, bye!

Emily and Ryan celebrate the holiday vibes with some feels. A lot of feels. They played the We're Not Really Strangers card game and... bro there are a lot of tears.

In this highly requested episode (by Emily's mom), Emily and Ryan strain themselves trying not to be vulgar or profane. They talk about their inspirations in the world, a few things that don't inspire them, and then they touch on some things they're looking forward to in 2021. Try not to cringe at how wholesome this episode is, please.

The month is almost over, so we needed to squeeze in all of our favorite no nuance November takes as fast as possible + we even threw in a few of our own! We also briefly revisited some of our favorite, not-so-harmful conspiracy theories.

Welcome back to the shit show, guys, gals, and non-binary pals! Emily and Ryan take you on a historic trip of their employment, discuss a few trips they've taken, and also describe some of their intrusive thoughts. We used so many audio assets in this episode that Ryan's computer crashed. Enjoy!

In this NSFW episode of NNTK, Ryan and Emily scoured the web for some of the juiciest, grossest smutty fanfic they could find. Each of them takes turns reading their fic, names withheld, and the other has to guess who the story is about. Grab your headphones (or just don't listen near anyone else) and enjoy this wildly sexual ride with them.

Emily and Ryan reflect on the election, celebrate the results, and then they both pretended to be doctors for the rest of the episode. With their newly self-proclaimed medical licenses, they revisit their dreams from the last week and try (emphasis on try) their hardest to decode each other's brains.

Ryan and Emily take spooky story submissions from listeners and attempt to keep some kind of composure ahead of the election. We can't wait for it to be over, either. Take this ride with us and forget about politics (kind of). P.S. We dare you to sleep through election coverage on Nov. 3... for your health.

This week, Emily and Ryan take on the daunting task of redesigning the American presidency. Election? Who needs her. After more than 45 minutes of babbling, they discuss what their version of the electoral process looks like. Hint: it feels like a fever dream. All hail Supreme Leader Sonny Moore. #TrollParty

In this long-awaited episode of NNTK, Emily and Ryan take on an ASMR guessing challenge with various snack (and other) items. Then, to spice things up, they recall their embarrassing experiences that may have contributed to their psychological damage. ❤️ [If you don’t like the sound of chewing, skip to 33:30]

Emily and Ryan reflect on their college stories, good and bad. From floormates that don’t understand how deadbolts work, to being fake drunk at parties, the two looked back on a nice assortment of memories.

In this episode of NNTK, Emily and Ryan read over headlines, some real, some fake. Then they discuss what each other's starter packs would be, talk a little bit about guns and sexual predators, then get deep (as usual). Can I say "vulva chunk" in here? We talk about those, too.

This episode of NNTK is extremely inappropriate, but what’s new? Join Ryan and Emily as they discuss their medical experiences, do impressions of people they don't know, and trail off yet again (and again, and again).

Seeking advice? Two mentally-ill rats will give you subpar advice (and you could probably get better advice on a magazine on the back of the toilet at a gas stop but we’re going to do it anyway).

In this episode, two large rats guide you through their experience in Seattle, Washington. Oh, and they talk about a few things they miss, too.

Funny that you think we wouldn't talk about Lori Vallow again. Emily Davis and Ryan J discuss the morality of crime, the psychopaths they know, and they talk way too much about the validity of Blumhouse Productions (come fight both of us, we're ready).

In the first episode of Nobody Needs To Know, Emily Davis and Ryan J announce the start of an era. Since the world is going to shit and nothing makes sense anyway, these two decided to start recording their collectively endless train of thought.