Marriage Takes 3

Have you ever wondered why Christians get married so darn quick? "Ring by spring" is real! But even with the funny memes, gifs and jokes about it, what is the truth behind this? We explore the reasons why this is real, what a relationship looks like that should get married quickly and what a relationship looks like that should pump the breaks. Watch to learn where there is truth to this, what our experience was and don’t forget to subscribe, turn on notifications! FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/Marriage-Takes-3-107879487563791 INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/marriagetks3/channel/ SURVEY/ARTICLE LINK - DIVORCE RATE OF LIVING TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jomf.12530?af=R

We often come into a relationship with baggage we haven’t healed from or even addressed. Whether it’s past relationships, emotional, family, or any other, these undealt with pasts can cause real issues in your marriage. How do we biblically handle these things while still working to serve our spouse and have mercy and grace?

Marriage takes work. Anyone who is married understands that. Part of that work is dealing with issues, big and small. Too many times we avoid these issues like the plague, hoping they will go away or solve themselves. But they don't. They pile up, they cause irritation, frustration and anger. It's an overnight process that takes years, one crack in the dam at a time. Don't wait until you are on the ropes, gasping for air or even down on the mat and not wanting to get up. Fight for your marriage. Pray for your marriage. God is the creator of marriage, of men and of women. There is nothing that surprises Him and there is nothing too big for Him.

There are certain roles that God set for us and there are others that are fluid based on your relationship and personality. Let’s talk about them

Nearly 2/3 of all marriages start off in debt. About 1/3 of marriages due to disagreements about money. Many can be an evil that so ensnares us to follow it, obey it and worship it without even realizing it. We talk today about what does the mindset and attitude towards money look like before marriage and going into a marriage. What are some toxic habits that can keep you from getting to this belief and what can we do, if anything, to overcome those habits to not allow us to be a slave to money. What do you guys thing? Do you agree or disagree? What are some habits or issues that maybe you have faced with a belief toward money? More conversations about money in marriage coming up: ~To tithe or not to tithe: What does biblical giving look like and can you give differently ~Budgeting - How do you steward the money you've been given, whether it be little or plenty ~Giving - How does fruitful giving play into the money you make and how do you decide how much and who to give to? ~Getting out of debt - Is debt a sin? Should we live our life in debt? How do you work together to remove this obstacle so you can truly be what you've been called to be as a disciple of Christ.

Communication - it’s always something we can get better at yet also something we fail at frequently. How do people form different backgrounds, different ways of thinking, different opinions come together and have unity in their communication? Let’s start with listening to one another. It’s incredible when we stop trying to only hear someone to respond and actually listen to where they are coming from, what we can learn and how much easier communication becomes. James 1:19 speaks it beautifully “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”

40 million Americans regularly visit pornography sites 12% of all sites are pornography It increases marital infidelity by 300% 94% of children will see porn by 14 We know it’s a problem yet it’s even more of a problem today than it’s ever been. It’s a snare, it’s death and it’s harming more than you know. But there is freedom in Christ. He died for ALL sins and we can have freedom if you believe in Him. Our story deals with this ugly sin and the beautiful redemption, forgiveness and freedom that Christ brought through it.

A quick 3, er well 6 minutes, talking about how we need to seek God himself and not look for him or see him in other people. We are imperfect beings, we make mistakes, we mess up and God does not. So there’s a huge disconnect. If you’ve been hurt by others, especially by people who call themselves Christians, we challenge you to seek God solely, ask questions, speak your heart and find out who He truly is.

Paul talked about not being married so that it doesn’t distract you from God. But we know God designed marriage to be beautiful but in marriage can your spouse be an idol? Can we love our spouse more than God? Yes and yes. Anything out above God is an idol and your spouse can take that mantle if you’re not intentional. The Bible says everything we do should be to the glory of God. That includes your marriage and everything in it. (Psst, yes even sex). We talk about how to glorify God in your marriage and how to get refocused if your love starts to shift more from God to your spouse.

We both understand feeling like you’ve ruined it when it comes to sec and what God intended it to be. Having had multiple sex partners before marriage, falling short and into the sin of sexually immortality was a big part of our life. But the most beautiful thing is that we are truly redeemed by Christ in ALL things and you can have what God intended in your marriage, which is amazing sex! You don’t think he made it pleasurable for no reason do you? But in His perfect creation and plan, it’s so, so much more!

Many believe, yes even Christians, that dating or courtship with a Christian is boring. That could not be further from the truth! Is it different? Yes! But as Christians we are called to be different than the world. But there’s too many rules and gray areas and honestly, the Bible doesn’t really talk about dating so do we need to really put that much thought into it? The answer is yes. God cares deeply about people and it’s made clear the construct of marriage that He created. We need to honor that, and each other, by taking seriously those we are entrusted with to date, court, engage and marry.

We see so many people who want to be shown mercy and grace but when it comes our turn, we want people to pay. This happens in marriage all to often. We don’t want our spouse holding grudges against us or putting us in an emotional “prison”, holding offenses against us but we turn around and return that gift of mercy with anger and bitterness. Have mercy, give grace and choose to love instead of inflict pain.

Submission is a word that will most people have an opinion on or pretty quickly dismiss. Many think that submission isn’t relevant to the 21st century, it’s cultural and was important in Jesus’ time but not anymore. The truth is that submission is as relevant today as it’s ever been. But there’s more to it. And guys, if you think you can sit this one out, then you should listen to this twice!

We’ve all had expectations of what marriage might be like or what we want it to be like. Usually those expectations are rooted in selfish desires, not selfless. We talk about what our expectations were before we handed the reigns of our life over to God, expectations we had going into marriage (and what it was really like) and most importantly, who marriage is for (hint, it’s not for us!).

There’s a lot that had to happen before we got married on April 8th 2019. Primarily, we had to die to ourselves, fully surrender to Jesus and give up our relationships, among everything else. But is it really that easy? We talk about what our experience was like and what the Bible says.