Only Slightly Dead Inside

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Two friends putting the fun in functional depression!

Julienne Bilker and Nikka Graff Lanzarone

  • May 21, 2020 LATEST EPISODE
  • monthly NEW EPISODES
  • 24m AVG DURATION
  • 16 EPISODES


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Latest episodes from Only Slightly Dead Inside

#16: Worth/Value

Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2020 27:41


Oh hey. We don't mean to be intermittent like this, but depression is a real jerk when it comes to getting things done. This episode, we tackle the difference between the concepts of worth and value - and how to remind ourselves that we are worthy even if what we think we're doing isn't valuable. Plus, we get mad at folks not wearing masks, touch on ambition, and why days that feel like 11am all day are really annoying on the psyche! Enjoy!

#15: What Is Time

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2020 27:23


Oops. We accidentally took a few weeks off while adjusting to the new normal. Because what even is time right now? Unclear. Anyway. We're here, and we talk about everything from collective grief to wiping down boxes to the 7pm clap that is the only thing that feels like NYC normal right now.   Plus: Animal Crossing, virtual game nights, and balancing being a good citizen with taking care of our mental health.   What are you doing to keep sane? Let us know. We'd love to hear.

#14: Coronanxiety

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 23, 2020 25:05


What can we even say? It's all awful. Even since we recorded this episode, so much has changed and so much of what was okay is different - so forgive us for having recorded this in the same room. We're #socialdistancing now, and we'll figure it out as we go. Anyway. How are you doing? We're...full of anxiety. And thought that we should probably talk about this unprecedented event in global history. So we did.   Here are some of the things we talk about: How To Snap Your Parents Out Of Their Coronavirus Denial Why Are So Many Boomers In Denial About Coronavirus?   And some resources: The Actors Fund Robin Hood World Health Organization

#13: Inner Monologues

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2020 28:23


Julienne found an article saying that not all people have inner monologues. This blew our everlovin' minds - what must it be like to not have a voice in your head telling you you're the worst all day? We speculate, seething with jealousy. Join us!

#12: The Shame Monster

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 19, 2020 24:06


You hear us talk about it a lot, so we thought we'd define and discuss the Shame Monster. The Shame Monster sucks. Like, a lot. It robs us of the ability to be our fullest selves, and that's no fun at all. Join us while we unpack the inertia of shame, the different ways it manifests, and how it makes us feel pointless and unacceptable - among many other things.

#11: Ambition

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 3, 2020 22:47


Happy...New Year? (It's February, has the window of time passed for Happy New Year? Maybe.) Either way: We're baaaaack! And we missed you. It's a doozy this week - diving into the nature of ambition, how much of ourselves we show to the outside world (rather, how much our brains ALLOW us to show), and how hard it is to be in process as humans. We want to know what you think about all this, as it's a topic that is ever-evolving for us. Get in touch and let us know!

#10: Nobody's Grading This

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 23, 2019 25:06


It's our tenth episode!  This week: Recent examples of real-life situations where we let our brains get in the way of how we wanted to act, the delicate balance between overt self-promotion and simple sharing on social media, and feeling like somebody's grading your life but you're not sure who.   Happy New Year, friends! We'll catch you in 2020. In the meantime, reach out if you need us. We're here.

#9: ...Whatever The End Of That Sentence Is

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2019 27:41


You know the deep and terrifying existential dread that comes from the most mundane marks of the passage of time, like running out of toilet paper? That can't just be us. Well, we start there and go everywhere - from whatever "better" means to why it's a good idea to have plans after a big interview/audition/date.

#8: No Is A Complete Sentence

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 25, 2019 25:31


Like it or not, we're getting into the holiday season - and sometimes, that means having some awkward conversations. Nikka and Julienne try to figure out how they might want to set boundaries around talking about depression, anxiety and therapy, as well as reminding each other (and you!) that no is a complete sentence and you've gotta take care of you.   As always, links to everything are on our website, slightlydeadpod.com.

#7: Guilt Ostrich

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2019 28:02


What IS a guilt ostrich? You'll find out. This week, we dive into what a dissociative episode feels like and the tricks we use to put our brains and bodies back in the same room when things get weird. Plus there's a little bit of self-care chat!  Links to everything we discuss are on our website, slightlydeadpod.com!

#6: We Are All Conspiracy Theorists

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2019 21:43


When you have depression and anxiety, it's like there are tiny conspiracy theorists living in your brain, wearing tinfoil hats and giving you mountains of evidence to prove you're the worst. This week, we tackle that: Why are we so mean to ourselves? Why do we feel like happiness has to be earned? Are the tinfoil-hat-wearing conspiracy theorists right? Only way to find out is to listen.   If you are in crisis, or feel like you might be a danger to yourself or someone else, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741. Someone is always there to hear you, and you are worth hearing.

#5: The Worst Vortex

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2019 26:35


Nikka and Julienne discuss the worst vortex: where anxiety and depression come together in a terrible swirl of mayhem and destruction. Also: Our least favorite words, Nikka as the grammar police, and why it's important to take two minutes for yourself (even if you don't have a gnat in your eye).   Things we discuss:1. Dear Sugar: Your Invisible Terrible Someone   If you are in crisis, or feel like you might be a danger to yourself or someone else, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741. Someone is always there to hear you, and you are worth hearing.

#4: Meds

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2019 28:57


This week, Julienne and Nikka tackle medication: How they found meds that worked for them, what the process was like, and how finding the right balance is imperfect, often frustrating, and ever-evolving - JUST LIKE BEING HUMAN!     If you are in crisis, or feel like you might be a danger to yourself or someone else, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741. Someone is always there to hear you, and you are worth hearing.

#3: Perception vs. Reality

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2019 20:23


Depression and anxiety: What do they look like? Do they look like anything? Let's find out! Julienne and Nikka talk about the ways that depression and anxiety manifest themselves in everyday life, discuss  some of their favorite depictions of depression and anxiety in the media, and how sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees when your brain is doing a lot of extra work.   If you are in crisis, or feel like you might be a danger to yourself or someone else, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, or text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741. Someone is always there to hear you, and you are worth hearing.

#2: Therapy!

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 10, 2019 17:00


Julienne and Nikka talk about the long and winding road to finding a good therapist, why it's important to talk about going to therapy, and how therapy is for everyone - no really - EVERYONE.   if you are in crisis, please reach out to one of these resources National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255Crisis Text Line: 741-741

#1: Who/What/Why Are You Sad

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2019 9:53


Welcome! This is Only Slightly Dead Inside, a podcast putting the fun in functional depression. Meet Julienne and Nikka, learn a little more about them, and find out why it's important to be honest about living with depression and anxiety.

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