I turned 40 thinking it was going to be the beginning of the end. I was a short haircut, acid wash mom jeans and an AARP card away from accepting my fate. How come I was considered old when I didn’t feel... OLD. Sure, when I need to pee, I MUST pee. And sure, I have thrown my back out while sneezing, but OLD? Nah. 40 and other F words uncovers the humor, surprises and unexpected beauty of the fourth decade of life.
In my 20s I was looking for butterflies, rainbows and pipe dreams. I have plenty of friends who got married in their 20s and evolved with their partners. Listen, you have more energy to take on a project in your 20s, I just don’t have it in my 40s.Here are my rules for dating in my 40s:My age range is 8 up and 8 down, I will date someone 8 years older or 8 years younger - any more than 8 years down and they don’t remember cassette tapes, and any older than 8 years, they might need tech support with their iPhone.I ask early on, is there anyone who would be upset if they found out you were dating me? Listen I was an accidental mistress 3 different times - after a while you know how to ask the questions that matterIntegrity matters to me, what does one feel comfortable lying about? That will give me an answer.Can you communicate? I am too grown to be teaching someone how to use their words.Red flags, flares and full fireworks -the bad kind- come out when someone I am dating mentions that every one of their exes is crazy - Homie, all of them? Cause at some point you are the common denominator - you likely made them that way.
The truth is there is a stigma when it comes to your 40s especially when you’re a woman. Men in their 40s become George Clooney, John Krasinski, Idris Elba, The rock, Daniel Dae Kim, Benjamin Bratt Women in their 40s get sent out to pasture- like our eggs, we are supposed to slowly dry up... The world may think that it’s time to wind down, but for me...it’s just turning up Now almost 2 years into my 40s - I have realized that your 40s kinda get a bad rap