Mommytincture

Parents ideally never grow up to be comfortable with all that they do for their kids. Because kids are growing and evolving every minute. And along with them, we as parents too have to reinvent ourselves. So, the bottomline is that I as a parent still lack confidence. I am no more confident of not making a mistake as I was 8 years ago. So what’s the solution? To follow ‘The Confidence Circle’

The complacency really is setting down. I need to actively start work on my new parenting technique of 'Reasoning not threatening' soon. Else I really will have nothing to share in this space. Well, the summers are here and the kids had a blast at the mini home pool yesterday. Listen to this episode how my attempts at threatening my younger went and how the entire day yesterday was everything pool and water. Do tell me how you are getting ready for the summers?

As I settle into the new normal of my life i.e. no shouting on my kids, I am getting complacent towards recording my days as a mother. That I have been busy on other fronts would just be another excuse. The thing is that it's time for a new parenting goal to take my parenting technique and experience to the next level. I have identified the goal, but I think I am going to take a little more time to start practicing it in real. I have already begun to practice it in my mind :) So here I am, on Day 27 of 365 Days of Gentle Parenting - getting a little bored because I do not see any reason to shout on my kids.

I had another eureka moment today. I realised that all the fretting over our kids is actually needless. As moms we just need to relax and be there for the kid. Sometimes only in spirit. Else, they will never become independent. Listen to my story of how I came to this conclusion because of an experience. And now I feel its time for me to move to the next target towards gentle parenting. And that is to do away with threatening techniques. No these threatens are not intimidating, but something as 'sleep, as the boogieman will come and take you'. The kids grow up soon to realise that its just a threat, but it has a long lasting effect on their mindset. I will talk more on that in the coming episodes.

Day 24 for a normal gratitude worthy day on all fronts. While Day 25, was another day of my temper shooting up on my younger son. I got into a self introspection mode after the temper tantrum that last not more than 120 seconds. And gave up on being the kid myself. Later, I mused on all that happened and all that I could make right. And guess what ? I had a Eureka moment. I was able to identify the trigger. And as is the law, it isn't the kid's mistake. It is actually my shortcoming as a mother. Listen to this episode of 365 Days of Gentle Parenting, as I share my trigger. Wait for the next episode on what solution I have come up with.

The month of March is going to be a slightly absent parenting month, with me only checking on the kids now and then and jumping into my mediator shoes in times of a crisis. And that's the reason there are not many instances or observations to share from the day that was yesterday. And so I decided to share with you all the impact of practicing meditation has had on me as a parent. So I started practicing meditation around 4 years ago and it had various benefits for me. Listen to this episode of 365 Days Of Gentle Parenting to know how meditation can help you be a calm parent

Well today was a less parenting day. I was busy with various personal errands and professional chores. So no scope for any conflict or argument with the kids. The younger though, tore off his grandma's saree. And I did not react at all. Just nodded at my mother-in-law ;) The days to come are going to be slightly busy and I am going to be parenting less. Let's see how things turn up with the Gentle Parenting Challenge.

Ok, I had my first ever meltdown on Day 20 ever since I started this 365 Days of Gentle Parenting. The saving grace is that I stopped after exactly 1 minute and went back to being supportive of the little kid rather than questioning him incessantly about why he wasn't doing that he was expected to do. Listen to the exact details in this episode of 365 Days of Gentle Parenting. The next few days are going to be really busy, So I don't think I will be parenting much, but I really do wish to spend some quality time with the kids. My plan is to pull out a few latest social media challenges or trends and do those with the kids. How do you connect with the kids other than the time they have to study or eat? Do tell me about your unique ways of spending quality time with the kids?

I am a self proclaimed secular parent. But do I not teach my kids anything abut their faith or religion. Well that's not the case. I do let my kids enjoy the little rituals and ig festivals that make religion fun and lay a strong foundation of virtuosness. But I really do not want them to harbour any limiting beliefs with regards to religion. And the most important God I want my kids to believe in is the 'GOD OF KARMA'. In this episode of 365 Days of Gentle Parenting I talk about how I am trying to keep my kids on a neutral ground and yet enjoy their religion while respecting other religions. What is your take about teaching kids about religion? Do share your views.

We were welcomed to a shower of flower petals. Yes, you read it right - The 6 year old cousin at home, welcomed her cousin brothers with marigold garlands and a shower to yellow orange petals. I wish I could attach a pic or two of them in the act. Before that we had an early morning flight, with actually no time to hang around at the airport. Now that we are home, its time to unpack and given my track record I am going to take forever to do that. To know more about my yet another day of not loosing my shit on my kids, listen to this episode of 365 Days Of Gentle Parenting.

I was lucky to be a part of an esteemed panel discussion today at Beyond the Box , a venture by Anupama Dalmia. The event was called 'Can You Hear Me' and it was a book launch event doubled into a panel discussion with Anjali, a fellow blogger and author moderating the panel. While the other two panels were qualified child psychologists and parenting coaches, I sat there with a nervous smile with a bag full of my own parenting experiences. We had a healthy and enlightening discussion on the subject of 'Empowering our kids' The most funny part of the discussion came up towards the end about how does one deal with their kids being sad or low. Does one let them be or try to cheer them up until they look happy? While the experts had loads full of advice to deal with sad kids, I had to confess that my kids at their age, my kids do not become sad, they only become upset. And thus I have to sometimes try and solve their reasons for being sad, or just let them howl and cry for a while, and if it becomes too much to bear or if I see that it might start to affect their health, I have to become a joker to distract them and cheer them up. Listen to this episode of 365 Days of Gentle Parenting to know more about the discussion

In this episode I talk about how I had a tough time managing my son's expectations from a trip we made to the Pinjore Gardens. I also share some tips and advice on 'How to Keep Sibling Rivalry Away'. A lot depends on how as parents we display behaviors that are neutral and make kids feel safe about their place in the house and in the world. Of all things that I want for my kids, I want them to be self assured and work on their own journey, with no insecurities.

And we did our #pawrihoraihai trend video! I also read about the 3 Overtly behaviors we parents are inclined to practice. Listen to this episode of 365 Days Of Gentle Parenting for more details.

It's day 13 already and I am patting my back for my consistency at recording the days for the last 13 days. Today was a good day again. Only a very contemplating one. 'I want to feel the joy in motherhood' - is what most stressed mothers have to whine about. Today I talk about how the entire motherhood / parenting journey turns into one unhappy circle of life. I am still to figure how to break out of this circle, but for now the awareness that it is a dreaded path is enough for me.

Life of a mom isn't easy. Obviously everyone knows that. But when you are standing in a public place being watch by dozens of people while your little one refuses to budge from his spot, you do feel like being swallowed by the earth. But I did better and I did well. How? Listen to episode 9 of 365 Days of Gentle Parenting.

I am glad that I have come this far. Today I was on the verge of losing it on my older son for a blunder he made. Yes, it was a genuine blunder. But then I took a pause and asked myself. What's its effect on the larger scheme of things. 'Some attitudinal effect for sure' So I held my horses and waited for an appropriate time to have a conversation. And I had the conversation. Was it successful ? I don't know. But I am definitely doing a happy jig on my ability to have a conversation with the boy. In this episode I share some practical tips from my personal experiences on how to get the kids listen to you. What are your tricks under your hand to ensure that your kids listen to you?

2 good days spent with friends, family and new friends. In this episode I recount an incident that reinstated the significance of free play among children. What are your views about free play for kids as against structured learning ? Do share your thoughts.

I was scheduled to meet a practicing coach for a tete-a-tete via coffeemug.ai , a new professional networking platform that use artificial intelligence to bring you in proximity with professionals who align with your own professional goals. So yes, I met a 50 year old gentleman over meet and he gave me a very valuable parenting lesson. His words are going to stick with me for a long long time. Listen to the full episode to know what he told me about good parenting today.

Well, These were 2 GOOD Days, as far as finding Joy in Motherhood is concerned. I think 1 secret to finding joy in motherhood or parenting for that matter is to not expect perfection. So yes, I allowed my kids an hour (and another half maybe) of screen time, because I wanted to sit through a very important fb live yesterday and a feel good zoom meeting today. I am a little guilty, but not beating myself over it. What is that one thing, you do as a parent, wherein you do feel guilty, but decide to continue with the practice, because you know its important for your sanity (or sometimes even survival)? And yes watch the important live session, I have been dancing over here - https://fb.watch/3KoUG0bUVO/

Why do we lose patience with kids? Well I read this article shared by a friend and found it to be really useful. It really helped me gain perspective on why things go spiraling out of our control when it comes to patience with kids. Read the full article here - https://inspired-motherhood.com/losing-patience/ Meanwhile, I am working on responding (rather than reacting) and did a good job of it when my elder son came home with the rear guard of his bicycle broken. I could see he was already feeling bad and didn't need me to add to his misery. So yes, that was a good job done ! How do you view your losing patience with kids? Do you too feel that you just couldn't help but lose control? Tell me all about it.

So today I was at 70 percentile of my loud noise-o-meter. Well, for a mother who is trying to tackle with a screen addict 5 year old I was very very patient with him. But more than that, what's more significant is that, I haven't gone on a guilt trip for that 70 percentile loud voice. I do think though that I could have managed with a 50 percentiler if I had been a little more patient. I really do need some strategies to pull the boy out of his screen addiction. I need help... my boy needs help. Please do drop in with your suggestions on how to wean kids off screen. P.S. - I work 5 hours a day, live in a busy joint family and have an 8 year old, who takes up some bandwidth for he needs help with studies.

Ok, now that I have begun this journey. I realized that it is going to e really really loooong. Challenges have already begun to present themselves and I am reeling with the impact of reality bytes. Today listen about how my attempt to validate my course of action fell flat ;)

Ok, facing my biggest fear by sharing it with you all here I am embarking on a journey to transform myself as a mother. 'Gentle Parenting' includes a huge gamut of parenting techniques, but I am starting with a commitment to keep my voice low with my kids. Stay tuned for daily updates !

I have begun this series of book reviews for a collection of parenting books I read last year. There are fiction and non fiction parenting guides in my collection. The first one is a fiction 'Koi Good News' by Zareen Khan

Sometimes in all the madness that kids subject you to, there are moments when you just want to let the moment be and enjoy it. Last week we were driving back from a family do and the kids got all excited over a song in Bhojpuri that was played in the party. And here's the riot that followed. I'd have taken a video bit for lack of lights while the husband drove on, I didn't miss this alternative and recorded it