Weekend Update

The purge is upon us. Amid the government shutdown, nothing is actually shut down, and our guns are being forcibly removed. Norwegians have a huge moose, and an asteroid is going to kill our children's, children's, children's, children, Just pray that ebola doesn't get to you first. Weekend Update is now supported financially by Amazon affiliate links selling robotic repelling vests, get yours today! Also, bonus points for sticking around to the very end.

Well folks, it's 2019, and the world has gone to shit. This week we talk about obese otters, flu shots, ufo abductions, the dark side of the moon, and penis eating. Also, uranus got plowed from behind, and Trump pulled out. Also, artists are gay. Also, thanks for tuning in. Also, why are you still reading this. Also, go create something. Also, why do you have so much fucking free time that you can actually read the dumb shit that I write in these podcast liner notes? Also, if you want some real inspiration, when you are done listening to this podcast, turn on the GaryVee Audio Experience, it will make you a better person. Also, you know what fuck face?... how the fuck are you still reading this when I already told you to go do something productive? Also, you're an idiot and I can prove it. Also, get the fuck out of here...

Bee drones, cancerous sharks from space, huge diamonds, Walmart intercom freedom, 3 UFO's per day, and more. This is gonna be good! And for the real superfans (of which there are many), stick around until the bitter end for a little extra nugget of goodness...........

Korean Jesus arrested, reverse dwarfism, Shag Harbour, coverups, and more. Ooh baby, it's cold outside!

Gene editing, alphabet kids, Men in Black, Tic Tac sightings, worldwide earthquake. I missed a lot of stuff in the news this week!

Caning, dads for hire, extraterrestrial life, and a unicorn in every garage. Here is your weekend update!

Spy vs. Spy, peace-keeping, UFO's, and Nancy Pelosi. This podcast has been period-proofed for your protection!

The 'blue wave', illegal baby names, sperm smuggling, and much more. It's been a busy news week!

I don't follow the news. My brother-in-law does. Here's everything I've missed over the past week, and more...