HOMESICK LONEWOLF PODCAST

EPISODE 15 IS DETAILING THE MOST TRAUMATIC AND LIFE CHANGING TIMEPERIOD IN MY LIFE....IT WAS A SUMMER WHERE I WAS JUST PARTYING AND BEING SELFISH.... AND I PAID A PRICE FOR WANTING TO JUST HAVE FUN ALL THE TIME.

TRAUMA-PTSD-ALCOHOL ADDICTION-TOXIC FRIENDS by JOHN SCHAEFER

FOLLOW MY LONG DARK , ENLIGHTENING ROAD OUT OF HELL!!!!!!! AS AN ADDICT, YOUNG MALE , GROWING UP IN AMERICA, AND LOVING TRAVELING AND ROCK AND ROLL--- I'M LEARNING FROM ALL THE SELFISH TOXIC BEHAVIOR AND COMMITTED TO SELF GROWTH SELF AWARENESS AND EVOLVING AS INDIVIDUALS!!!

My life had been shattered into pieces and I felt in a lot of ways I deserved everything that was happening to me....All of my choices slowly brought me to my own corner of hell....opiate addiction-a bad ugly break up, using alcohol to cope and forget. Intead of facing it all and learning from it all......focused on working in Denver and getting experience in the kitchens! Threw myself into the city and tried to focus on career oriented lifestyle......but I wasn't happy and I needed to heal. PTSD and addiction almost killed me. It did in a way.

EPISODE 11 --- FOLLOW ME AND MY QUEST TO OVERCOME ADDICTION-HEARTBREAK- AND BEING AN IMMATURE YOUNG MAN IN AMERICA--AS AN ADDICT AND PTSD/TBI SURVIVOR !!!! FOLLOW MY ROAD OUT OF HELL!

THIS IS THE STORY ABOUT THE MOST TRAUMATIC TIME PERIOD IN MY LIFE---- THE SUMMER THAT CHANGED ME-FOREVER. A PART OF ME DIED THAT SUMMER OF 2012......I WAS CAUGHT UP IN ALL THE MATERIALISTIC AND CHEAP TEMPORARY PLEASURES. SELFISH AND IMMATURE--NAIVE AND UNEDUCATED. THE AURORA THEATER SHOOTING HAPPENS ONE NIGHT....2 MILES AWAY FROM OUR PLACE....I WAS ASSAULTED AND SUFFERED A CONCUSSION -- PTSD--- AND OPIATE ADDICTION.....FOLLOWED BY---MY THEN GIRLFRIEND--LEAVING ME FOR MY YOUNGER BROTHER. PICKING MYSELF UP AND DUSTING MYSELF OFF....TRYING TO BUILD AND FIND MY HOME IN THIS WORLD. THIS WAS FROM 2012 IN COLORADO..... IT CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER. AS OF 2020 MY BROTHER A I HAVE WORKED THROUGH A LOT AND HAVE BEEN BUILDING A NEW HEALTHY MATURE RELATIONSHIP. WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO LEARN AND GROW FROM THE PAIN.

FOLLOW MY JOURNEY AS A YOUNG MAN IN AMERICA-DEALING WITH OPIATE ADDICTION AND ALCOHOL!!!! MY LONG HARD ROAD OUT OF HELL!

FOLLOW MY JOURNEY AS AN ADDICT LIVING IN AMERICA ! MY GOAL IS TO HELP YOU REACH FOR A HIGHER QUALITY OF LIFE--

FOLLOW THE JOURNEY AND LISTEN TO ADVISE FROM AN AMERICAN ADDICT AND ESCAPING PERSONAL HELL.

I did a little special-- just talking....jumping from topic to topic---some memories and stories and more lessons from my journey out of hell...... I just wanted to talk and shoot some subjects around! This isn't the regular show---this is more current....but also bouncing back and forth from different things.....lol....just wanted to talk to you....just wanted to riff and shoot the shit with you.

This was when I learned not to chase someone you failed in a relationship with....learning to let go and focus on the lessons and navigating through alcohol addiction. Moving from Durango,CO--to Baltimore,MD to live with my uncle, and try to talk my xlover into giving us another chance. Dealing with depression and withdraws from suddenly being unable to obtain opiates and pills. I moved and lost all of my friends and connections--but I was still the same ROCK N ROLL personality--seeking out temporary cheap thrills and pleasure. Getting kicked out of my uncles--kicked out of bars- and just about the entire state of Maryland 86'D me. Dealing with major culture change--and feeling I should just get back to Colorado....something more familiar...but everywhere I went...there I was... Moving to Denver for the first time--and really struggling to stand on my own two feet on my own in a new city and new environment. This is the story of 1 American opiate and alcohol addict.

Don't ever let someone be your everything....when they leave you have nothing..... Stories of addiction--lessons learned through trial and error.....searching for strength and truth in the chaos of alcohol and opiate addiction. Suicidal thoughts and pushing foreword alone.....no healthcare,no doctors..... learning from my mistakes and evolving into a better person. Moving from Colorado to Baltimore,Maryland to chase a girl I was in love with.....finding myself through all the pain,regret,shame and denial. Mental health and major alcohol abuse. I had no hope.I wanted to leave the earth. This is a chapter that almost had me commit suicide. I learned not to ever chase someone......don't make someone your everything.

The story of getting offered a very happy ending from a policeman in uniform in my hometown--I was wasted and drunk so it didn't matter or make sense to anyone else....nobody trusted me and I just kinda put it away forever.... Living without hope and pushing through dark times of poverty-work-addiction and love, with art,imagination and music.

More stories,lessons,realizations and anecdotes from my past...join me exploring my life in addiction and pushing through painful and dark places...as we grow..and push foreword in a journey of suffering and self growth and awareness

BACKSTORY-JAIL-BROKEN FAMILY-ADDICTION by JOHN SCHAEFER

This is the chapter of my life--where I was very lost and destructive....the band had broken up-- and I was spinning out of control....stealing-lying-cheating- and I was just finding myself acting irrationally and compulsively. Reaching for temporary happiness in substances. Running away from my responsibilities and not wanting to grow up. My family was sick of my behavior.....I was hurting them too.... The story of how I first met my then "brother in law or step brother" as he was the arresting officer-- A little tough love form my mom- and how I made a painful and dark time into a positive learning experience and used it to grow and change so I wouldn't be someone that is in and out of jail all the time! *This was a hard episode---I don't want to overexpose my past--but I feel it's a very important chapter in my recovery and my journey into suicide-depression and addiction. I have worked extremely hard to destroy the person in this story....I've worked hard to evolve and realize the chaos and hurt I was causing. But I needed this story to be told.

In episode 1 Im just getting listeners to hear what I'm all about and what my projects is intended for. Looking to help people with anxiety-depression and addiction!!!! I have been through the dirt and fire--and I want to help others in the darkness. This episode explores how I first found alcohol and substances as a young man , drumming in a heavy metal band.