Addicts Comedy Podcast

This episode gets off to another start where Kurtis harasses Andy. This time for laying on his air mattress even though it was Kurtis’s idea to have Andy stay in his abysmal apartment that has no furniture options. Andy offers some super fly insight on the differences between introverts and extroverts and Kurtis attempts to keep up and fails. Instead Kurtis goes off on some dreadful gig he did for the Freemasons. Is Kurtis part of a secret society? Listen and find out! Andy tries to encourage Kurtis to think before speaking and Kurtis seems surprisingly open. Kurtis confesses his love for all the thoughtless nursery rhymes that are so prevalent in the recovery world whereas Andy prefers one-eyed tweakers who speak from the heart. Andy is not invited to Kurtis’s funeral.

Hi y’all! Sorry we didn’t release an episode last week. We had some technical difficulties but rest assured, unlike Kurtis’s career, the Addicts Podcast is alive and well! Andy and Kurtis try to solve San Francisco’s abysmal human feces problem and riff on Ronald Reagan’s policy on mentally ill people. Watch out y’all, the boys are solving the world’s problems! The homey Kurtis pops off on how even though he didn’t poo on the streets, he pooped on all his relationships. Andy tries to share his story a bit and Kurtis tells Andy to stop. Kurtis loves to bring good content to a screeching halt. Eventually, Kurtis starts being kind to his young son Andy and this episode is very worth hearing. Kurtis eventually manages to be quiet for a minute while the kid AG provides wonderful insight on how societal influences might make alcohol tougher to recover from than heroin. Oh snap! The boys talk a smidge about their families on this one y’all! Andy came up Mormon and still got into heroin? Say whaaaa? Thankfully Andy’s dad is a Mormon superhero was still there to beat up people who tried to offer him cigarettes. Kurtis attempts to articulate the difference between building a new life for yourself and merely abstaining but eventually crashes and burns, and just complains about bills and the IRS.

The boys pop off about triggers in the media. Can movies and TV shows like Narcos cause a person in recovery to have cravings? What an exciting question! Kurtis blames Andy's fatness on his inability to bring ladies home. Andy confesses that he is occasionally deceived by the "fun" memories of active addiction, but thankfully, Kurtis is there to provide sage wisdom to his beloved boy, Andy. Kurtis talks about his love of Vegas while Andy wishes Vegas was like it was in the old days even though he wasn’t there. Andy cops to his genius comedy hook of eating ass that frightened his mom and mercifully died quickly on Twitter. Later in the episode, the kid AG and the old boy Kurtis spin yarns about comedy and their love of making people laugh despite the industry having no love for their genius. The topic turns to gratitude and Andy expresses his despite having extremely abysmal living circumstances. Kurtis continues to shame young Andy about touching his private area.

Andy reflects on his first sponsor and Kurtis reflects on his first sponsor! Wow. Kurtis is jealous that Andy is young and inspired and gets invited to do all the Bay Area's hippest stand-up shows. The boys talk about sex drive in early recovery and Andy makes a weird case for public masturbation. Andy wonders if Kurtis would continue a comedy show if Andy literally dies onstage. Kurtis continues to smoke too much and Andy continues to be fat and powerful. Kurtis talks about how even though he has 34 years sober, he can still learn. This is of course not impressive because Kurtis is very dumb. Also, Andy speaks Eskimo in a way that only people who like fart jokes might enjoy! This may very well be the finest podcast ever recorded!