In which I sit alone a room and ramble about marriage, parenting and other horrors of modern life. They have taken away my dignity and self-respect; my microphone is probably next.
In which the madman sounds off on crying in movies, more disturbing ads and the great tradition of lying to your kids at Christmastime.
In which the madman sounds off on Thanksgiving potlucks, weird Christmas ads, and the evil genius behind toy catalogs.
In which the madman sounds off on IKEA, nosepicking and the sexism of home repair.
In which the madman sounds off on the election, cookie sleeves and the etiquette of stroller pushing.
In which the madman sounds off on the World Series, the sorry state of the NFL and a few rules for fixing Halloween.
In which the madman sounds off on flyaways, foreheads and magic beans.
In which the madman sounds off on competing with his wife, how to have fun in a Chinese restaurant and why parents shouldn't be allowed to vote.
In which the madman sounds off on the BABIES Act, the dangers of automation and a potential new role for James Earl Jones.
In which the madman sounds off on smelly children, violence in baseball and injustice on the playground.
The madman sounds off on locker rooms, music festivals and chlorinated pools.
In which the madman sounds off on scary cartoons, dirty old men and the power of incense.
In which the madman sounds off on knighthood, misunderstood tantrums and Tyrannosaurus Rex's name change, but says almost nothing about Hello Kitty.
The madman sounds off on patriotism, the hidden joys of home repair, and the wide world of baseball commentators.
The madman sounds off on hubcaps, dying printers and the dilemma of German soccer fans.
The madman sounds off on flip flops, condescending doctors and the widespread overuse of the letter Z.
The madman sounds off on wigs, historical re-enactments and the shame of sucking at video games.
The madman sounds off on porches, unfair massage exchanges and injured kids at the hospital.
The madman sounds off on beaches, waterbeds and 4-year-old taggers.
The madman rambles about Cinderella's shoe size, telemarketers' lists and the true meaning of the marriage contract.
The madman rants about his mother's visit and the lies people tell about honesty.
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