QSATA360

I LOVE feedback. But when it comes to feedback, who gives the best feedback in a given situation? And how do the taste buds of that person matter?

I have an entrepreneur friend who has dedicated a significant amount of time to making the world a better place by helping people to make easy, healthier, food and beverage choices. He's done this once, twice, three times, and the next two ideas are already underway. After a couple days together and a full day together on Saturday, I came home to what I thought would be a quiet house. Instead, it was full of (mostly) Germans celebrating Carnival. Perhaps the most important celebration of the year in Cologne. And instead of being offered some peace and quiet, I was offered a pina colada. I decided to say, "yes." I don't really like (or remember liking) pina coladas. But *this* was the most delicious pina colada I've ever had. And it got me thinking... why or how could I like something so much that I previously didn't like at all? The answer wasn't hard to come up with -- it was the ingredients. The PC Mixologist of the evening combined coconut water and coconut milk, fresh pineapple, and rum. Simple, solid ingredients. No added sugar, no added BS. And that got me thinking... what are the main ingredients in my life? Am I using the best, freshest, simplest, no BS ingredients when it comes to the way I live, what I do, and the people I choose to spend it with? And how do those ingredients influence the quality of the life I'm living and the experience I'm having? How about you?

This question was inspired by a stranger I met at a sound healing event who had an interesting perspective on "home." He made a comment that all of us are simply tolerant of our home country, and how those of us who have seen other places are able to see the cracks and the dirt so much clearly from the places we are originally from. At the same time, as foreigners, we also see the beauty more easily in the elsewhere(s). But... we're tied to these places we're from, no matter how intolerable they are. I actually didn't resonate so much with the way he felt about place, but it did make me wonder... what am I tied to? And how? And what do you think you're tied to?

This question was inspired by a conversation last week about relationships. And there isn't much of a story behind this one. I appreciate this question as a good reminder. And it gets me thinking... when we find ourselves in a moment of frustration because of someone else... how much of that is about them? And how much of that is actually about us?

This question was inspired by a story a friend shared about a 10-day silent meditation he went to where aside from no talking, "silent" also meant no reading, no writing, no stimuli. With all this alone time (in the midst of other people) one of the things he got to thinking about was... what are these other people thinking??? And after the meditation was over, he had a chance to actually ask. And realized that he was really bad at guessing what other people are thinking... let alone what they are feeling! It made me wonder... how often do we choose to assume vs. ask? And in what circumstances do we assume vs. ask? How often do we actually know what other people are thinking? And how often do we give ourselves the permission to ask?

This question was inspired by a conversation with a friend who was arguing that, actually, our feelings don't matter. And to be clear, this is when we're feeling like an "impostor" -- when we feel like we're "not good enough" -- when we're not "worthy" or "able" or "capable" specifically. She believes that these feelings don't matter (not that she's immune either). But that they're simply roadblocks between where we are and where we're trying to go. So is that true? How much, in this case, do your feelings (actually) matter?

This question was inspired by a conversation with a friend who doesn't hear very well. There's no way you could tell just by looking at him. He's not exactly at an age where one would think hearing loss is such a big deal. Turns out -- it's been a thing since he was 4 or 5. As we were talking about it, he said something that really hit me that he feels some people are thinking about him -- "If this person isn't understanding... there must be something wrong with them." And it got me to wondering... how often do we give the benefit of the doubt to people? When do we give it? When don't we? And what's the difference?

Inspired a conversation with a friend yesterday around the difference between sentences construction in Chinese and in English. Think of Chinese sentences like bamboo, or blocks, or... LEGO :) and then think about English sentences more of a connected flow. Language can be a big determinant in the way you structure your thoughts, but what else is out there? What are the other factors that contribute to the way and how you think what you think?

Inspired by all this extra thinking about relationships this week. One of the biggest things that you, me, most of us fear is getting rejected. "What if they say no? What if they don't like us? Enjoy us? Appreciate us? Want us? Desire us...?" But if we totally flip this thinking around... isn't getting rejected actually freeing? Isn't it the second (maybe even first) best possible answer we can hear from someone? Instead of thinking that "no" takes something away from us -- what does a "no" actually give us? And isn't this true of all relationships -- not just the romantic ones?

Inspired (again) by the group conversation game from the other day. One person, instead of writing a question, simply wrote this one word "理解“ (Li3 jie3) which is one of the words (In Chinese) that means "to understand." They admitted that when it comes to developing a romantic relationship, understanding the other person is one of the biggest roadblocks they face. Which got me thinking... and wondering... how do we understand others? What is the approach we take? How do we know when we get it right (or wrong)? How do we relate to our understanding in the short-term? The longer-term?

Inspired by a couple conversations over the past couple days. "Relationships" are the first thing that come to my mind. But I wonder... what else do you positively or negatively select memories for? And when does that typically happen? What else is going on? What does the #positive or #negative tag on that memory do for you?

Inspired by a group conversation game I was a part of — where everyone in the group came up with a question and then each person would choose from the “deck of questions.” I was struck by one woman who seemed to think she had unwavering feelings for something or someone no matter how many times she saw or interacted with it / them. This was true for movies, for art, and seemingly for people too. Do we see things as less beautiful the more we see them? When is this true? When does the beauty of something grow? And what simply stays constant? Is a constant feeling towards anything of significance even possible?

This question was inspired by a conversation with a friend. And still rolling on the big takeaway that I have from the way Tiffany Haddish shares about the stuff that matters. When we say things like... I shouldn't say this... OR I shouldn't do that... why are we putting up the boundaries? What makes what we'd like to say or do so unreasonable? What if we decided to go for it instead?

This question was inspired by Tiffany Haddish and all the YouTube videos I watched with her interviews on all the late night TV shows. She wrote down what mattered to her (aka her goals) and then started to share them, loud and proud. Not once. Not twice. But probably A LOT of times. What if you did that?

This question was inspired by a YouTube ad for Dan Brown’s Master Class. Why not write the wrong thing a few times? Do we ever really get things right the first time? How right do we get later if we’re willing to be wrong first?

What transition are you in the middle of? This question was inspired by a yoga class I took yesterday. What happens if we choose to focus on the transition, rather than the starting point or the destination? And beyond simply being "present" through whatever journey you're on... what if you were more present during the pit stops, the off ramps, the space(s) in between?

This question was inspired by a conversation about relationships last night. What things do you do because it’s a guaranteed? What things do you miss out on because they’re not?