Podcasts about Desire

Topics:  Desires, On The Streets, Colossians 3 BONUS CONTENT: The Way Of Jesus   Quotes: “Having to endure helps you to endure.” “Do not walk away from God in shame. Keep growing in other areas.” “Jesus is not being unreasonable.” “The fruit of the spirit are not disconnected.” . . . Holy Ghost Mama Pre-Order! Want more of the Oddcast? Check out our website! Watch our YouTube videos here. Connect with us on Facebook! For Christian banking you can trust, click here!

Click here for the DRB Daily Sign Up form! TODAY'S SCRIPTURE: Hosea 13-14; Psalm 100-102; Hebrews 5 Click HERE to give! Get Free App Here! One Year Bible Podcast: Join Hunter and Heather Barnes on 'The Daily Radio Bible' for a daily 20-minute spiritual journey. Engage with scripture readings, heartfelt devotionals, and collective prayers that draw you into the heart of God's love. Embark on this year-long voyage through the Bible, and let each day's passage uplift and inspire you. TODAY'S EPISODE: Welcome to the Daily Radio Bible! On this July 8th episode, join your host Hunter as we mark day 188 in our journey of reading through the entire Bible this year. Whether you're a longtime listener or just joining us, you'll find encouragement in our simple practice: reading the Scriptures together each day, with the hope of being transformed by the God who is love. In today's episode, Hunter leads us through Hosea 13 and 14, Psalms 100 and 102, and Hebrews 5 in the New Living Translation. As we encounter warnings and promises in the story of Israel, heartfelt prayers from the Psalms, and teachings about spiritual maturity in Hebrews, Hunter reflects on spiritual dullness and invites us to savor the Word—moving from “milk” to “meat”—so that our desire for God would grow and shape our character in everyday life. We'll wrap up with guided prayers, encouragement at this halfway point in the year, and the reminder that, wherever you find yourself on your Bible reading journey, you are loved. Stick around for a nourishing time in God's Word, honest reflection, and practical encouragement to keep pressing forward! TODAY'S DEVOTION: How's your hearing? That's the question the writer of Hebrews wants us to consider. Are you dull of hearing? Has your discernment slipped? Maybe you're finding that you keep making the same mistakes over and over again, lacking the wisdom you need in the moment. The problem might not just be with your decisions, but with what you're listening to—or perhaps, not listening to. The writer of Hebrews points to a spiritual dullness, a lack of attentiveness to what really matters. There's so much more God wants to say to us, so much more life to be found in him—but spiritual dullness keeps us from hearing it. Sometimes, we're listening to too many things that crowd out God's voice. Sometimes, we've simply lost our appetite for the things that truly nourish us. But there's good news: God has given us a remedy—a way to restore our spiritual hearing. It's found in coming back, again and again, to the pure spiritual milk of his word, desiring it, savoring it, letting it nourish our souls. Peter tells us to crave that spiritual milk so that we can grow up into our salvation. The problem isn't the milk; it's our desire for it. When desire wanes, when our ears are dulled by the noise of the world, our hearts grow hard and our lives lack discernment. But we can, by God's Spirit, learn to savor his word again. And as we do, our taste matures. Desire for the “milk” of God's word grows into a hunger for the “meat”—the deeper things of God, wisdom for life, discernment and maturity. Maturity in Christ isn't about managing sin better or checking more boxes on a pious to-do list. It's about a deepening desire for God himself—a dynamic relationship of trust, dependence, and joy. As we savor his word each day, Jesus, the living Word, meets us. He feeds us on his grace, his mercy, his love—and we become people who can recognize the difference between right and wrong, who can respond to God in the moment. That's true maturity. That's wisdom. That's life fully alive. So come to the word daily. Cry out for it. Savor it. Let your desire be rekindled and let it grow. This is the prayer I have for my own soul. It's the prayer I have for my family—for my wife, my daughters, my son. And it's the prayer that I have for you. May it be so. TODAY'S PRAYERS: Almighty and ever loving God, you have brought us to the light of a new morning. Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit that we may walk this day in peace. Guard our steps from temptation, shield us from the weight of fear and shame, and lead us deeper into the joy of your presence through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Amen. O Christ, light of the nations, shine in every place where shadows dwell. Call the scattered home, heal the wounds of division and gather all people into the communion of your grace. May the knowledge of the Lord cover the earth as the waters cover the sea. Amen. And now, Lord, make my hands ready for mercy. Make my eyes quick to see the hurting, my ears open to the cry of the lonely, and my feet swift to bring good news. Let me seek to bless, not to be noticed, to serve, not to be praised, to forgive, not to hold back. For in your way is life, in your mercy is healing, and in your love is the peace this world cannot give. Amen. And now, as our Lord has taught us, we are bold to pray: Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen.   OUR WEBSITE: www.dailyradiobible.com We are reading through the New Living Translation.   Leave us a voicemail HERE: https://www.speakpipe.com/dailyradiobible Subscribe to us at YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Dailyradiobible/featured OTHER PODCASTS: Listen with Apple Podcast DAILY BIBLE FOR KIDS DAILY PSALMS DAILY PROVERBS DAILY LECTIONARY DAILY CHRONOLOGICAL  

I believe Jesus would have been a blast to hang around with! What do you think? 

If sex feels awkward, distant, pressured, or just off in your marriage — you're not alone. In fact, over 50% of married couples say they're dissatisfied with their sex life… and many haven't talked about it in over a year.Not because they don't care.Not because there's something wrong with them.But because sex often carries a lifetime of silence, shame, and confusion.That's why this episode exists.In this kickoff to the Let's Talk About Sex in Marriage series, I'm inviting you into a conversation that's been missing for too long — one that helps you explore your desires, your fears, and your longing for more meaningful connection.We'll talk about:Why sexual disconnection is so common — even in loving marriagesHow emotional safety is the foundation of intimacyWhat it looks like to gently start this conversation with your spouseWhy sex isn't just physical — it's emotional, spiritual, and relationalThis isn't about fixing you or your marriage with a 3-step formula.It's about healing.It's about honesty.It's about reclaiming intimacy that feels true, nourishing, and safe.

Msg me "ACADEMY"   for details on Your BINGE FREE Life Academy where you get  personalized coaching & mentorship to becoming BINGE FREE for life.Courtney has been resilient throughout her entire journey of conquering binge eating. She's been able to confidently say no to her binge urges, navigate food on vacation with so much ease and developed so much self love that she no longer has the desire to eat past fullness. She's also developed the skills to be able to process her emotions without needing to comfort herself with food when work or life got busy and stressful.

World-Renowned Addiction Expert Dr. K reveals the SHOCKING truth about masturbation, pornography, dopamine burnout, incels, and why 60% of men under 30 are single. Dr K from Healthy Gamer!  Dr. Alok Kanojia (aka Dr. K) is a world-leading addiction expert, Harvard-trained psychiatrist, and founder of Healthy Gamer, the platform helping young adults break free from porn addiction, dopamine burnout, and emotional numbness. He hosts unfiltered mental health conversations on Twitch and is the author of the book, ‘How to Raise a Healthy Gamer'. He explains: The deadly trap that fuels loneliness How to rebuild your brain and reclaim your energy from dopamine burnout  How social media is hijacking your brain's reward system Why so many young men feel lost and emotionally numb How to reconnect with purpose when life feels empty  Topics: 00:00 Intro 02:30 Who Is Dr. K? 03:31 Understanding You Can Only Control Yourself 04:45 The Risk of Wanting to Change Our External Environment 05:42 Internal Work Will Manifest Outward 07:28 How to Stop Having a Bad Day 09:49 How to Get Rid of Desire and Temptation 13:06 Addiction to Pleasure 14:30 Why Ignoring Red Flags Favours Evolution 15:54 Post-Nut Clarity 19:24 The Societal Impact of Porn 22:44 The Mating Crisis: What's Happening Between Men and Women? 27:54 Are Men Disappearing From Society? 35:50 Can Society Take Responsibility for Current Issues? 40:04 Do People Have a Right to Reproduce? 44:04 Helping Patients With Commitment Issues 46:20 Treating Addiction 49:33 Alternate Nostril Breathing Practice 51:59 Why People Are Addicted to Porn and How to Overcome It 52:50 How Willpower Works in the Brain 56:11 Partner Has a Problem With You Watching Porn 57:03 Why Addiction Is on the Rise in Society 58:01 Ads 59:08 Why Do People With Past Addictions Seem to Be Spiritual? 01:00:12 Addiction Example 01:01:43 Intersection of Addiction and Spirituality 01:02:54 Laws of Existence: Why Were You Born in Your Family? 01:05:02 Do You Believe in a God? 01:06:52 Meditation, Ego Death, and Otherworldly Experiences 01:10:59 Why Don't You Talk About Your Own Spiritual Experiences? 01:15:55 Should People With Depression Use Psychedelics? 01:18:46 What Happens After Death? 01:19:40 How to Cultivate Your "Why" 01:23:34 What You Think You Want vs What You Actually Want 01:30:13 Why Do We Not Like Being With Ourselves in Silence? 01:32:07 Tips for Your Self-Development Journey 01:35:46 Avoidance of Emotions 01:37:53 Ads 01:39:54 Why Resistance Doesn't Heal Addiction 01:44:04 AI Girlfriends 01:46:06 ChatGPT Feeds Into Your Cognitive Biases 01:51:22 Will AI Hinder Our Ability to Form Relationships? 01:54:06 What Is the Most Powerful Love in Your Life? Follow Dr. K: YouTube - https://bit.ly/4kt6zHD  Instagram - https://bit.ly/3GucTk6  Twitch - https://bit.ly/4koV4Rx  You can purchase Dr K's book, ‘How To Raise a Healthy Gamer', here: https://bit.ly/3U1D3xH  Get your hands on the Diary Of A CEO Conversation Cards here: https://bit.ly/conversationcards-mp   Get email updates: https://bit.ly/diary-of-a-ceo-yt  Follow Steven: https://g2ul0.app.link/gnGqL4IsKKb  Sponsors: Justworks - http://Justworks.com   SimpliSafe - https://simplisafe.com/doac to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free.Cadence - https://usecadence.com/ with code DIARY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever asked yourself: "Why does sex feel confusing or frustrating in my long-term relationship?" "How do I deal with mismatched desire or feelings of rejection?" "Is there a way to bring passion back into our marriage beyond tricks or performance?" If sex and intimacy have become a perplexing part of your long-term relationship, get ready for a revolutionary reframe that will change how you approach connection. Today, Larry Hagner sits down with Susan Morgan Taylor, MA, a renowned somatic sex therapist, creator of the transformational Pleasure Keys Retreats, and host of the popular Sex Talk Café Podcast.  She has helped hundreds of couples deepen intimate connection and create mutually satisfying sex and intimacy for the long term, and she's here to challenge the myth that passion is just about performance or "finding the right move." Susan Morgan Taylor reveals that true intimacy begins with presence: showing up, tuning in, and being fully responsible for your own pleasure and desires. She explains that when there's been a "drift" in your marriage, it's critical to slow down, get curious, and ask not just what you want, but who it's for.  So many couples mistakenly go through the motions, assuming they know what pleases the other and settling for mediocre connection. The profound truth? Each partner is wired uniquely—and without ongoing, honest conversation, you can drift miles apart. Become the best husband you can: https://bit.ly/deamarriageyoutube In this revolutionary conversation, we dig into: Presence Over Performance: Why true intimacy starts with showing up, tuning in, and owning your own pleasure, moving beyond tricks or external validation. The Danger of the "Drift": How couples unknowingly settle for mediocre connection by assuming they know what pleases their partner without ongoing, honest conversation. Safety as the Ultimate Aphrodisiac: Why creating an environment where your partner can relax—free from pressure, kids bursting in, or a million distractions—is crucial for their willingness to lean in. Beyond Abs or Grand Gestures: The profound truth that genuine trust and moment-to-moment presence are the real keys to opening both her heart and body. Playful, Spacious, Non-Transactional Connection: How to bring curiosity, experimentation, and ownership back into your intimate relationship, even in uncomfortable moments. If you're ready to become not just a better lover, but a better man, this episode is your playbook for ditching resentment, reigniting real desire, and creating a marriage that's thriving, not just surviving. Here's what research and observation highlight about sexual intimacy in long-term relationships: Couples who prioritize emotional safety and open communication about sex report a 35% higher level of sexual satisfaction. Mismatched desire is a common challenge impacting over 30% of couples, but effective communication strategies can significantly improve outcomes. The consistent practice of mindful presence during intimate moments is linked to a 25% increase in shared pleasure and deeper connection. www.thedadedge.com/534 www.thedadedge.com/alliance www.thedadedge.com/25questions Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn www.pathwaytopleasure.com FREE Pleasure Keys PDF → www.pleasurekeys.com

We head to Desire Resorts to celebrate a friend's birthday, and rediscover the obstacles between friendly and sexy.Richard meets a Neurologist/Urologist who challenges the hypothesis of his Trimix experiment.A teacher quizzes Richard on some science. He aces his science quiz, but fails to cease the flirt opportunity.Thanks to "karaoke" in the disco, we are orgy-bound to party in the diamond suites.We play with a couple and will forever be our ‘mental porno couple'!#LABCOAT #THEYWEREHIRED. #FARDARKCORNERCheck our sponsors:Tabutoys.com (15% promo code: ROOM77) - Get through customs with a bag of dicksShivers.store (10% promo code: R77) Mushroom GUMMIES Launching!BikiniAddiction.com (10% promo code: ROOM77) LAVA'S LAST HORAH!Patreon Help us #keepitupBook your Desire / Temptation /Hedo trip* with Lauren and get a free Bikini Addiction bikini!

In this episode, Mike Linch engages with Mike and Daniel Blackaby, exploring the profound impact of genuine parenting, the importance of connecting with people's hearts in leadership, and the cultural shifts affecting faith today. They discuss the role of emotions in leadership, the storytelling power of Hollywood compared to the church, and the significance of understanding desire and identity in a distracted world. The conversation culminates in reflections on parenting and the hope that their children will carry forward a genuine faith.Mike's Biggest Takeway's:- Everybody has a hole in their heart that only Jesus can fill.- Genuine parenting focuses on the positive aspects of a child's character.- It's important to connect with people's hearts in leadership.- Cultural shifts have changed how faith is perceived today.- Emotions play a crucial role in motivating people.- Hollywood excels at storytelling that resonates with the heart.- Desire and identity are central to understanding people's motivations.- Parents should trust their children to handle difficult conversations.- Faith should be integrated into all aspects of life, not compartmentalized.- The head is downstream of the heart; emotional connection is key.Welcome to the Linch with a Leader Podcast, where you're invited to join the spiritual principles behind big success, with host Mike Linch.Subscribe to the channel so you never miss an episode: Watch: @linchwithaleader Prefer just listening? SUBSCRIBE to the podcast here:Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0dJfeLbikJlKlBqAx6mDYW?si=6ffed84956cb4848Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/linch-with-a-leader/id1279929826Find show notes and more information at: www.mikelinch.comFollow for EVERYDAY leadership content and interaction:Follow on X: https://x.com/mikelinch?s=20Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mikelinch?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==https://www.instagram.com/mikelinch/?...JOIN Mike for a Sunday at NorthStar Church:www.northstarchurch.org Watch: @nsckennesaw

SummaryIn this sermon, Benjamin Lee explores themes of validation, the knowledge Jesus has of our hearts, and the comfort that comes from being seen by God. Benjamin encourages listeners to follow Jesus, overcome doubts, and find their worth in God's eyes, ultimately assuring them of their names being written in the Book of Life and the promise of greater things to come.TakeawaysEvery day is a moment to give praise to God.Discipleship begins with a personal encounter with Jesus.Recognizing Jesus as the Messiah is crucial for faith.Jesus knows our hearts and flaws, yet still desires a relationship with us.The desire for recognition can lead us down a dark path.God sees us individually and knows our names.We should find our worth in God's eyes, not in worldly validation.Jesus comforts us by knowing our struggles and seeing our potential.Following Jesus leads to greater things in life.Our names are written in the Book of Life when we follow Christ.Chapters00:00 The Importance of Praise and Gratitude03:04 Encountering Jesus: The Call to Discipleship06:13 Recognizing the Messiah: The Journey of Faith08:54 Understanding Jesus' Knowledge of Us12:06 The Desire for Recognition and Validation14:49 Jesus Knows Our Hearts and Flaws17:42 The Comfort of Being Seen by God20:28 The Call to Follow Jesus23:21 Overcoming Doubts and Questions26:09 Finding Worth in God's Eyes29:01 The Assurance of Our Names in the Book of Life31:37 The Promise of Greater Things to Come34:46 Responding to the Call of Jesushttps://www.icandopodcast.com

I lost today's episode and accidentally uploaded an oldie! It's worth a listen. 

This episode offers a deeply personal conversation with Jaime and Alan Aurelia, the core members of the New York-based band Not From Concentrate. They share the journey of their unique "scrum" sound—a fusion of ska, punk, and grunge—and the even more profound journey of their relationship. You'll hear about Jaime's experience coming out as a transgender man and how this pivotal change rippled through their marriage, their music, and their lives.Alan speaks with remarkable openness about the initial pain and confusion, and the path towards a renewed understanding and deeper love for Jaime. Together, they explore themes of identity, the complexities of visibility for trans individuals (particularly the scarcity of gay trans male representation in media), and the strength found in unwavering commitment. It's a story about evolution, resilience, and the courage to live authentically, both as individuals and as a couple.Timestamped Key Takeaways[00:00:55] Introducing Not From Concentrate: Dan introduces the band and their "scrum" genre, a mix of ska, punk, and grunge.[00:02:18] Jaime Joining the Band: Jaime recounts joining the band, initially unfamiliar with ska, and learning the genre.[00:03:10] How Jaime and Alan Met: Alan and Jaime share the story of meeting at a college radio station.[00:04:07] Dating in a Band: The challenges and eventual success of their relationship starting within the band.[00:05:44] What is a Bass Diva?: Alan explains his protectiveness over his bass guitar.[00:07:23] The Misuse of "Woke": Discussion on how the term "woke" is often used to mask prejudice against queer people and people of colour.[00:07:41] Jaime's Transition: Jaime speaks about coming out as transgender and the beginning of his transition journey around the time of COVID.[00:08:53] Lack of Trans Representation: Jaime highlights the lack of visibility for gay trans men in media, which initially caused him confusion about his own identity. Dan mentions a report showing zero gay trans characters on British TV in a recent year.[00:12:34] Alan's Perspective on Jaime's Transition: Alan describes his emotional experience, comparing it to "watching your wife die" while working to fall in love with the same person anew. He discusses the conflict and the eventual reaffirmation of his love.[00:15:11] Navigating Transition with Scarce Resources: Jaime talks about the lack of resources for trans men, especially those transitioning later in life, and the negative predictions he received about his marriage.[00:18:18] Love and Growing Up: The conversation turns to the depth of their love and how they've navigated profound changes together, ultimately strengthening their bond.[00:21:21] Queer Culture and Music Genres: Dan and Alan discuss the narrow range of music genres often dominating queer cultural spaces and the importance of diversity in queer artistic expression.[00:22:26] Not From Concentrate's Audience: Alan describes their audience as ska lovers with an increasing number of queer people attending their shows. He emphasises that not all LGBTQ+ people want only dance or pop music.[00:25:32] A Moment of Recognition: Alan shares an anecdote about someone observing their affectionate interaction as a gay couple, making him feel seen.[00:26:23] The Desire for Normalcy: Discussion about the queer community's desire for acceptance and normalcy rather than dominance.[00:30:14] Alan's Two Minutes to the World: Alan speaks about the power of music as an equalizer and a positive force.[00:32:19] Gateway Song

The idea that there can be a soulmate, a single person out there who is destined to bring fulfillment and who can promise a happily-ever-after ending, is a story that's been told for millennia.While it's a compelling proposition, it's actually based on a fundamental misunderstanding. Thom uncovers that misunderstanding in this episode, but he delivers a more compelling proposition in its place. One that guarantees fulfillment, but without having to rely on winning the relationship lottery to make it happen.Episode Highlights:[00:45] Is There Such a Thing as a Soulmate?[03:44] A Desire to Experience Unity With Someone[05:59] Relationship is an Outlet for Fulfillment[08:56] Don't Wait for a Soulmate[13:26] If You Have Self-realization, You Have a SoulmateUseful Linksinfo@thomknoles.com https://thomknoles.com/https://www.instagram.com/thethomknoleshttps://www.facebook.com/thethomknoleshttps://www.youtube.com/c/thomknoleshttps://thomknoles.com/ask-thom-anything/

A conversation about the evolving world of psychedelics. While scientific breakthroughs continue to reshape our understanding of how these substances work, psychedelics are also at the center of debates about religious freedom, mystical experiences, politics, and how we treat mental health.For more than thirty years, Michael Pollan has been writing about the places where the human and natural worlds intersect: on our plates, in our farms and gardens, and in our minds. His acclaimed books include How to Change Your Mind, The Omnivore's Dilemma, and The Botany of Desire. Pollan co-founded the UC Berkeley Center for the Science of Psychedelics.Gül Dölen is professor at UC Berkeley in the Departments of Neuroscience and Psychology. Her research expertise and interests include behavioral and systems neuroscience, psychedelics, social behavior, evolution, synaptic plasticity, extracellular matrix, oxytocin and stroke, autism, PTSD, and addiction.Indre Viskontas is a cognitive neuroscientist with the University of San Francisco and a faculty member at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music. She has published groundbreaking work on the neural basis of memory and creativity, and co-hosts the podcast Inquiring Minds. Her past City Arts guests include Atul Gawande and Temple Grandin.

Prepare to meet two of my absolute favourite people in the beauty industry. Pauline and Johnny Patterson are the couple behind Dr Paw Paw and as you'll hear during the episode, they run their business and interactions with people firmly from the heart.During this brilliant episode you'll hear:Their love storyHow Dr Paw Paw came aboutWhat it feels like to be business partners as well as a coupleThe importance of wellbeing for both of them and how Johnny bounced back from near burnoutHow Pauline has juggled motherhood and running a business plus the challenges of perimenopauseWhy their business is about a lot more than just making moneyHow Pauline supported me through my anxiety breakdown and why this has led us to do some really important and exciting work together that we'll announce during the episode.This is an absolute must listen!

SummaryIn this episode of the Gird Up Podcast, host Charlie Ungemach interviews Ashley Fritz, a landscape architect and worship coordinator, about her journey of faith, experiences in a secular university, and the importance of community and genuine friendships. They discuss the challenges women face in the church, the significance of making faith personal, and the dynamics of dating in a Christian context. Ashley shares her insights on navigating peer pressure, building supportive relationships, and the evolving role of women in the church. In this conversation, Ashley Fritz and Charlie Ungemach explore the complexities of faith, relationships, and personal growth within the context of Christian values. They discuss the importance of being upfront about beliefs in dating, the value of being single, and the challenges young women face in the church. The conversation also touches on the state of young men in the church, the impact of societal norms on sexuality, and the significance of landscape architecture as a means to connect with God's creation. Throughout, they emphasize the importance of mentorship, community, and understanding one's purpose in life.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Gird Up Podcast and Support04:14 Staying Involved in Faith Post-College08:54 Navigating the Party Culture at University14:33 Building a Supportive Community in College17:19 Preparing for Temptations and Challenges20:07 Evangelism and Outreach in a Secular Environment23:07 The Importance of Approach in Conversations24:56 Reflections on Conversations with Different Beliefs25:58 The Importance of Speaking Truth27:45 Searching for Identity and Belonging28:10 The Depth of True Christian Friendships30:19 Navigating New Friendships in a New Place32:14 The Role of Faith in Friendships33:36 Choosing Friends Wisely36:51 Creating a Culture of Meaningful Conversations38:14 The Decline of Young Women in Church41:29 Understanding Gender Roles in the Church43:57 Ensuring Women Feel Valued in Church45:45 The Experience of Being Heard in Church47:31 Dating as a Single Woman in the Church52:59 Navigating Faith and Relationships56:18 The Freedom of Singleness vs. Desire for Family59:07 The Value of Being Single in God's Kingdom01:01:48 Cultural Influences on Women's Value01:05:23 The State of Young Men in the Church01:12:05 Challenges of Sexuality in Christian Dating01:17:02 The Importance of Respect and Understanding Past Mistakes01:20:17 Healing and Forgiveness in the Context of Sexuality01:24:42 The Journey into Landscape Architecture01:28:37 The Connection Between Nature and Human Well-being01:33:57 Designing with Purpose: Understanding Creation01:39:21 Natural Living and the Return to SimplicityAshley's Links:https://www.instagram.com/refugeraleigh?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==https://www.instagram.com/ash.monette/https://www.instagram.com/ash.monette/Gird Up Links:https://youtube.com/@girdupministries4911?si=tbCa0SOiluVl8UFxhttps://www.instagram.com/girdup_be_a_man/https://www.girdupministries.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Who do you truly know? God knows us all the way down to our DNA. He sees everything, yet he still loves us. In fact, he even likes us. 

In this solo episode, Hannah talks through the exact step-by-step process that they've used with hundreds of students in The Intimacy Accelerator to help them connect to their bodies, reconnect to their partners, feel desire, and enjoy sex in their relationships. To learn more about the program, click here: https://hannah-deindorfer.mykajabi.com/90-day-intimacy-accelerator

In this powerful episode, we explore what it really means to break free from the “good girl prison” and reclaim the wild, sensual, embodied self that lives within all of us. Topics of Conversation: ✨ Why people are so triggered by the presence of a sensual, embodied woman and how those triggers are actually invitations to growth. ✨ How judgment can reveal your next edge and why the best teachers might trigger you. ✨ Her inspiring story and the creation of her studio that doesn't fit in any box - where self-reclamation, sisterhood, and sensual movement meet. ✨ The magic of her 6-foot round sensory mats (yes, they're as incredible as they sound) and the signature slow and wild movement method. ✨ The power of moving beyond rigid, linear movement practices into something fluid, freeing, and deeply feminine. ✨ The 10 themes of self-reclamation explored in her Slow & Wild method: Body, Voice, Time, Space, Intuition, Sensuality, Sexuality, Spirituality, Passion, Desire. ✨ The balance of Alpha/Omega and masculine/feminine dynamics and how this transforms relationships. ✨ And yes—we talk about her Dirty Vanilla Parties (part workshop, part sex-ed, part dance party!) “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field—meet me there.” - Rumi   ✨ Links + Resources Slow & Wild Studios Dirty Vanilla Parties Slow & Wild on Instagram Book recommendation: Unbound  

How do you know when it's okay to quit a goal? In this episode, Kevin and Alan get real about the hard choices we face when our goals start pulling us in different directions. Whether it's fitness, business, or relationships, sometimes quitting one goal is what allows us to succeed in another. You'll hear honest stories, a little humor, and thoughtful tips on how to figure out what truly matters most to you. This quick chat could help you rethink how you set and reset your priorities.Learn more about:Ready to Take Your Podcast and Your Life to the Next Level? Join our “Next Level Group Coaching.” Use code NLULISTENER to get all this for less than $25/session! - https://www.nextleveluniverse.com/group-coaching/Free 30-minute Business Breakthrough Session with Alan -https://calendly.com/alanlazaros/30-minute-free-breakthrough-session?month=2025-04Free 30-Minute Podcast Breakthrough Session with Kevin -https://calendly.com/kevinpalmieri/free-30-minute-podcast-breakthrough-session-with-kevin_____________________NLU is not just a podcast; it's a gateway to a wealth of resources designed to help you achieve your goals and dreams. From our Next Level Dreamliner to our Group Coaching, we offer a variety of tools and communities to support your personal development journey.For more information, please check out our website at the link below.

Welcome to The Food Court of Familiarity — a hypnotic journey designed to gently increase your desire to try new foods by making the unfamiliar… feel familiar. Using the metaphor of a virtual reality experience, this session guides you through a vivid mental rehearsal where you explore, sample, and enjoy a variety of new tastes in a safe, imaginative space. By encoding these sensory experiences into your memory as if they've already happened, your mind begins to respond to new foods with curiosity, comfort, and confidence — turning hesitation into anticipation, and unfamiliarity into appetite.  

Do you feel welcome at your favorite restaurant? How about your church? Some people may be too broken in the moment to put on their Sunday best clothes. They should feel welcome to come to God in church or nature. Or wherever. God knows the heart. That is what he looks at.

Want to grow stronger in your walk with God? Start praying the Word. In this message, Pastor Corey Erman teaches how praying the Scriptures ignites spiritual growth, strengthens your faith, and aligns your prayers with God's will. The Word in your mouth is a weapon and a seed—speak it and grow! “Desire the pure milk of the Word, that you may grow thereby.” – 1 Peter 2:2To support this ministry and help us reach the nations with revival visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RiverWPB.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or text GIVE and any amount to (855) 968-3708.

Send us a textThe Zan and Jordan Show — Episode 25 — Women Don't Desire You When You're Afraid of Your Own Masculine Essence____________________________________________________Women Don't Desire You When You're Afraid of Your Own Masculine EssenceToday, Jordan and Zan shed light on one of the most fundamental, core (literally) shortcomings that men who want to be able to turn women on, must resolve. Tune in and discover some very simple practices that will help you become more aware of the energy moving deep within your body that makes you desirable to women, and learn to enjoy, love and celebrate those parts of yourself so that they can too. Soon, Jordan will be running a coaching program that will help men integrate their masculine edge and express it freely, opening up worlds of possibilities for their dating lives, and beyond. See the top comment pinned for more info. Share what you think about today's discussion in the comments section. We want to hear from you.____________________________________________________Come join us! Sign up today and enjoy all the perks of the Amorati Membership, including live calls with Zan and his team. Go here: https://www.Amorati.net/____________________________________Awaken The Virtue Of Passion — Re-Ignite Your Aliveness, Your Creativity, Your Raw Sexual Power: https://arsamorata.com____________________________________Need a gunslinger? Someone who rides into town, completely solves your problem, then rides off into the sunset. Contact Zan Perrion personally to inquire about his incredibly effective one-on-one Laser Coaching. Find him here: https://arsamorata.com/gunslinger/____________________________________Get a gifted copy of The Alabaster Girl, personally signed by Zan Perrion. Go to https://alabastergirl.com____________________________________Get instant access to our 4 part mini-course with Zan Perrion

The end of a Decade! Looking back at the legacy that is "My Hero Academia" and the final chapter!

Does it ever feel like you and your partner are just never on the same page when it comes to sex? One of you wants it more often. One of you needs things to be just right. One of you initiates. One of you never does. It can feel frustrating, confusing, and even a little bit lonely. But there's a good chance the issue isn't actually about how much you want sex… it's about how you want sex. In today's episode, we're breaking down one of the most important tools we've ever shared: the two sex drive types. If you've ever felt like your desire is broken—or that your partner just doesn't “get” you—this conversation is about to change everything.

That quiet dissatisfaction you've been feeling isn't a failure—it's your soul's sacred invitation to step into who you're becoming. In this episode, Karen explores why that restless whisper in your heart isn't something to ignore, but rather your authentic self calling you forward into your next chapter. She reframes midlife as a sacred ✨ between who you were and who you're becoming, and explains why wanting more doesn't make you selfish—it makes you human.This kicks off July's deep dive into midlife reinvention, focusing on the four pillars of midlife magnetism: Clarity, Expression, Boundaries, and Desire. Karen shares why true transformation requires honoring both your inner wisdom and outer well-being, and how the "more" you're craving doesn't have to be dramatic—it can be quiet but profound changes that light you up from the inside out.✨ Grab your FREE Companion Workbook: "Becoming Her: A Midlife Reinvention Starter Kit" HERE. Send a Text Message :)

It's possible to disagree with someone yet not become a disagreeable person...

www.verywisealternatives.com

www.verywisealternatives.com

Weekly Poetry by Angel from the Book, Thoughts in Golden-Ink.

On Today's show, Alan continues his sexual encounters with Nicky and her daughter Ellie. This time, they all engage in a threesome, with the narrator having sex with both mother and daughter, who are now aware of each other's involvement with him.A married neighbor, a chubby woman, flirts with him and asks for his help to fix her toilet. When he arrives, she seduces him, and they have sex on her couch.A man recalls a sexual encounter with Alice, his lover since the 60s, while her husband is playing piano in the same room.A girlfriend teases her boyfriend by wearing a see-through blue covering that reveals her naked body. He becomes aroused, and they have vigorous sex that night, with the narrator describing it as "monkey loving.A married woman, frustrated by her husband's accusations of infidelity, decides to cheat on him with a co-worker. That and so so much more. ASN Magazine Awards: Purchase Show Tickets and Hotel TicketsASN Magazine Awards Voting Link. You can vote once every 24hrs.I want to hear from you too! If you have a secret story or experience you've been dying to share, now's your chance. You can write to me directly at Nikky@dearnikky.com or submit your confession anonymously at DearNikky.com/confessions.Perhaps you have an erotic fantasy that's been burning inside you, or maybe you just want to say hello - whatever it is, I want to hear from you!By submitting a confession and/or question you certify the following stipulations to be true:You are the sole creator of the submission;You are 18 years of age or older and legally able to write, submit erotic or pornographic materialStories including Bestiality, Incest and Incest Fantasies, Underage Role-Play, Rape Sex, Rape Fantasies or other non-consensual content or Racial slurs will not be aired.We reserve the right to change names or other identifiable information.You are releasing all rights to this creationIf you've enjoyed tuning in to my show each week (and getting an inside look at some very private lives), please take a moment leave review wherever listen: whether that Apple Podcasts Spotify Google other platform helps new listeners discover helps spread word keeps conversation going Thank loving support⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dear Nikky: Sex Confessions From People Just Like You⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ is out now!You can email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Nikky@dearnikky.com. You can find me also a ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠,⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/dear-nikky-hidden-desires--6316414/support.

Initiating sex can feel vulnerable, awkward, or even downright scary—especially if you were socialized to anticipate everyone else's needs before your own. This week, DB is joined by the one and only Whitni Miller (aka BDE Moves), queer couples intimacy coach, to break down what gets in the way, how to build confidence, and why getting turned down doesn't have to be a bad thing. We're talking perfectionism, eroticism, pleasure, and how to get out of your head and into your body. Let's get into it! GUEST DETAILSWhitni Miller is a queer couples intimacy coach helping people build deeper connection, playful pleasure, and authentic desire. Follow @bde.moves on Instagram for tips, real talk, and tools to transform your intimate life. ABOUT SEASON 12 Season 12 of Sex Ed with DB is ALL ABOUT PLEASURE! Solo pleasure. Partnered pleasure. Orgasms. Porn. Queer joy. Kinks, sex toys, fantasies—you name it. We're here to help you feel more informed, more empowered, and a whole lot more turned on to help YOU have the best sex. CONNECT WITH US Instagram: @sexedwithdbpodcast TikTok: @sexedwithdbTwitter: @sexedwithdb Threads: @sexedwithdbpodcast YouTube: Sex Ed with DB SEX ED WITH DB SEASON 12 SPONSORS Lion's Den, Uberlube, & Magic Wand Get discounts on all of DB's favorite things here! GET IN TOUCH Email: sexedwithdb@gmail.comSubscribe to our BRAND NEW newsletter for hot goss, expert advice, and *the* most salacious stories. FOR SEXUAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS Check out DB's workshop: "Building A Profitable Online Sexual Health Brand" ABOUT THE SHOW Sex Ed with DB is your go-to podcast for smart, science-backed sex education—delivering trusted insights from top experts on sex, sexuality, and pleasure. Empowering, inclusive, and grounded in real science, it's the sex ed you've always wanted. ASK AN ANONYMOUS SEX ED QUESTION Fill out our anonymous form to ask your sex ed question. SEASON 12 TEAM Creator, Host & Executive Producer: Danielle Bezalel (DB) (she/her) Producer: Sadie Lidji (she/her) Communications Lead: Cathren Cohen (she/her) Growth Marketing Manager: Wil Williams (they/them) MUSIC Intro theme music: Hook Sounds Background music: Bright State by Ketsa Ad music: Soul Sync by Ketsa and Soul Trap by Ketsa

What if your porn preferences could teach you more about your deepest desires? In this episode, I welcome back Kels and Tess, the brilliant and bold duo behind Porn Nerds and Get Squirmy, for a juicy, candid continuation of our conversation around porn, pleasure, and those 'squirmy' moments that make us human. We dive headfirst into the complexities of fantasy, the power of fetishes, and how exploring our curiosities — even the ones we might never act on — can help us better understand ourselves and our relationships. Here's what we get into: How porn can be a healthy tool for exploring curiosity and desire The difference between fantasy and real-life sexual experiences What your porn preferences might reveal about your needs in bed Tips for turning vulnerable sex talks into empowering connections Breaking down the shame and stigma around watching and talking about porn How to use fantasy as a bridge to better communication and deeper intimacy Vote for Eve Hall as Best Educator and Best Educator Website at the ASN Awards: If you're enjoying the show and feel it's been helpful, I'd be honored if you could take a moment to vote for me as Best Educator and Best Educator Website in this year's ASN Awards. Your support means so much to me! Vote here:  ⁠2025 TOP 8 FINALIST | 2025 ASN Awards⁠ Connect with Eve: Support the Podcast: Become a ⁠Patreon⁠ member for ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and early access Website: Please Me Online - Reach Eve and stay connected. Interested in a free 15-minute consultation to talk about coaching for health or intimacy, or to explore physical therapy services for sexual health concerns? First, book your appointment here: calendly.com/pleasemebyevecreations/10-min-call-me-on-owwll. Then, download the OWWLL app and use my free call code EH576472 so we can connect directly on the platform. I look forward to supporting you on your personal intimacy journey! SDC.com: Join the premiere "modern lifestyle" ENM website with a free trial membership using code 37340. Sign up on SDC.com  Where to Find Kels & Tess:Website: https://getsquirmy.comInstagram: @squirm Plus, we share laughs, real talk, and actionable advice on navigating the sometimes awkward, often empowering conversations that can bring partners closer — including how to handle dirty talk in a new relationship (throuple vibes included ).   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Punishment comes from anger. My young life was filled with punishment, and I believed that God was punishing me, too. I was wrong. 

Our adventurers rest up and plan their next move, which proves to be quite interesting...Come join us on social media, and leave a 5 star review on PodchaserTwitterInstagramDweezil VanzaphirPodchaserKo-FiThe Dice and Desire podcast is unofficial Fan Content permitted under the Fan Content Policy. Not approved/endorsed by Wizards. Portions of the materials used are property of Wizards of the Coast. ©Wizards of the Coast LLC.

Send us a textReady for a powerful mid-year reset? This guided manifestation meditation is designed to help you get back on track, reconnect with your goals, and start attracting the life you truly desire.It will guide you to cut ties with what does not serve you and call in what you desireWhether you're manifesting love, success, confidence, or a fresh start... this is your chance to pause, reflect, and realign with your highest self. This is the perfect time to raise your vibration and set powerful intentions for the second half of the year.

The Dreaming may be in need of a new master! Hayley and Brian chat about "Season of Mists", from The Sandman comic run, as a primer for season two of the Netflix series, since it will be the basis for the first arc of the show. Some comments made by Dream's siblings in the Endless, mainly Desire, have him determined to right a wrong he did... but he needs to venture back to Hell to accomplish it. What the Hell could possibly go wrong, seeing as how Lucifer still wants revenge on Dream?Content covered: The Sandman (1988-1996)Issues 21 - 28: Season of MistsThe Sandman, Act II: An Audible Original Audio Drama: Episodes 1 - 8EMAIL: SPARCPODCAST@GMAIL.COMTWITTER: https://twitter.com/SourcePagesCastINSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thesourcepagespodcast/FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/SPARCPODCASTSPaRC's Podcast Buddies:Across the Bifrost: The Mighty Thor - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/across-the-bifrost-the-mighty-thor-podcast/id1572200841Dan and Ian Have Questions - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dan-and-ian-have-questions-podcast/id1587402809Commute: The Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/commute-the-podcast/id1552657624Segabits - https://segabits.com/Machtails From the Cantina - https://www.facebook.com/machtailsfromthecantina/Rebel Force Radio Presents "The Babu Freaks" - https://www.rebelforceradio.com/shows/category/BaJacked Kirby - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jacked-kirby/id1248146026So Weird So Fun - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/so-weird-so-fun-swsf-friends-through-fandom/id1793135012Star Wars YOU-niverse - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/star-wars-you-niverse-podcast/id1704904756

You can enjoy exclusive and intense erotic audio by grabbing your copy of the Wylde Erotic App on the Apple Store,or downloading the very unofficial and unapproved Android version from WyldeInBed.com In the hauntingly beautiful countryside, Kate stands at the crossroads of her life. Having inherited a small holding from her late husband, and accepted that she will end her days alone, she finds herself overwhelmed by the relentless demands of managing the land and livestock.The once manageable farm now feels like a sprawling wilderness, echoing her loneliness and the relentless passage of time. Kate, now in her early forties, grapples with the physical and emotional toll of keeping her late husband's dream alive. Her once vibrant spirit has dulled under the weight of her responsibilities, and the farm's isolation only amplifies her solitude.When a young couple form an agricultural collefe offer to help, offering their youthful energy and expertise in exchange for room and board. Kate, desperate for help and companionship, welcomes them with open arms. Their presence breathes new life into the farm, and Kate finds herself drawn to their vitality and unyielding passion for the work.As the days pass, the three of them form an unlikely bond, each filling a void in the other's life.His strength and determination reignite a spark within Kate, while the young lady's warmth and creativity provide a much-needed respite from her daily struggles. Together, they begin to transform the farm.But the peace they find is fragile, and fate has a way of testing the strongest of bonds. During a particularly stormy night, a freak accident leaves Kate and him stranded in a raging river, clinging to each other for dear life. As they fight against the relentless current, the physical closeness and sheer terror of the situation strip away their defenses, leaving them raw and exposed.In those harrowing moments, a new and dangerous connection is forged between them. A night when everything changes forever. The intense, life-or-death experience has created a bond that neither of them can deny, but also one that threatens to unravel the delicate balance betwen the three of them.As they navigate the emotional aftermath, the lines between friendship, loyalty, and desire blur, and the farm becomes a battleground for their hearts.Twilight of Desire is a dark, romantic tale that delves into the complexities of love, loss, and the relentless march of time. It explores the depths of human connection and the sacrifices we make to preserve it.Kate's journey is one of rediscovery, as she learns to embrace the shadows of her past and the flickering flame of a new love. Will she find the strength to overcome her fears and seize the chance at happiness, or will the shadows of desire consume them all?In this gripping story, the beauty of the countryside serves as both a backdrop and a metaphor for the tumultuous emotions that drive the characters. Twilight of Desire is a poignant reminder that love, like the land, requires both tenderness and tenacity to truly flourish. 

"When you make your partner your entire world, you slowly stop being YOU. And the very things that drew them to you in the first place, your energy, your passions, your independence, your joy, they all begin to dim." Today I'm giving you the tools you need to not just keep the spark alive in your relationship, but to keep the fire thriving - and it's not about the latest polarity trend.    CONNECT WITH EMILY Grown Ass Woman Era: Group details HERE Book a Connection Call With Emily To Work Together COUPLES COACHING with Emily & Kelly Gardner (apply here) Get Your FREE Guide “The Four Tools Missing From Your Relationship” here Follow Emily on Instagram: @emilygoughcoach Website: https://emilygoughcoaching.com/  BOOK: “You Grow Me: The Next Level Human Philosophy of Love, Sex and Romantic Connection

The final commandment is like a lens through which to view, and the key to living out, all the others. Murder, idolatry, stealing, failing to rest; these all proceed from covetousness. This is because coveting is a matter not of outward behavior, but of the heart. And when our heart is misaligned, everything else in our life will be too. Desire is an essential part of what it is to be human, but we're rarely in control of what it goes after. With the exception of our fundamental material needs like food and shelter, we're lead by our desire not primarily for things, but for identity. We desire what other people desire. And when those desires are not met, the result is often anger or violence. The only one who can satisfy our inbuilt desire is God himself, and in Jesus we have the only worthy model for our desire. He is who we're called to imitate. And when we set our hearts on him, all covetousness for what others desire, and which will never satisfy, is robbed of all its destructive power.  By Ed Flint

Our world needs good, solid role models. 

What are you currently desiring or pursuing that might be more shaped by the world's values than God's will? Can you identify a time when God used a disappointment or failure to draw you closer to Him? In what ways is Jesus reshaping your desires to want more of Him, rather than just His gifts?In his sermon “The King You Desire” based on 1 Samuel 9:1-10:16, Pastor Josiah shared how Israel received what they asked for—a king like the nations. Saul looked the part: tall, strong, impressive. But beneath the surface, he was spiritually unfit and directionless. Sometimes, God gives us what we want to reveal that what we long for isn't truly what we need. Yet even in our rebellion, God's sovereign grace is at work. He uses our misguided desires, our detours, and even our failures to draw us back to Himself. Ultimately, the story of Saul points us to Jesus—the King we didn't ask for but the one we desperately need. In Him, our desires are transformed to want what He wants—and we discover that the deepest satisfaction of our hearts is not in what we get, but in whom we belong to.

The prevailing scientific view of the fundamental nature of homosexuality has undergone a significant evolution in the last several decades. Where once the scientific and medical establishment maintained an unqualified belief that homosexuality was a form of psychological deviance, today a solid majority of psychiatrists and psychologists themselves believe that biological factors (genes, brain, prenatal chemistry) also play an important role.  Dr. Dean Hamer's research for the first time examined at a molecular level how our sexual identities are rooted in our biology. He has gone on to study the role that biology plays in our faith. In his works and books, Dr. Hamer reveals that inclination toward religious faith is in part due to our genes and may even offer an evolutionary advantage by reducing stress, preventing disease, and extending life. We will discuss these and other works that bring in the role of culture, such as transgender identities in Polynesia. Dean Hamer is an American geneticist, author, and filmmaker and the among the first scientists to demonstrate a linkage between genes and sexual orientation. He is known for his research on the role of genetics in sexual orientation and for a series of popular books and films that have changed scientific and public understandings of human sexuality and gender. He was the chief of the Gene Structure and Regulation Section at the U.S. National Cancer Institute; upon retirement in 2011 he was designated scientist emeritus. Hamer has won numerous awards, including the Trinity College Thompson History Prize, Maryland Distinguished Young Scientist Award, Ariens Kappers Award for Neurobiology, New York Times book-of-the year author, and an Emmy Award. An Asia-Pacific Affairs Member-led Forum program. Forums and chapters at the Club are organized and run by volunteer programmers who are members of The Commonwealth Club, and they cover a diverse range of topics. Learn more about our Forums. OrganizerKalidip Choudhury  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this solo episode of 'Don't Cut Your Own Bangs,' Danielle Ireland dives into key lessons from her recent therapy sessions, emphasizing the importance of relationships. She explores how the drive to 'win' an argument often results in everyone losing, the power of genuine apologies over hollow ones, and the significance of understanding rather than feigned confusion. Danielle also shares personal insights and practical steps to navigate relationship conflicts with compassion and kindness, while promoting her journaling tool, 'Treasured,' aimed at deepening personal growth and self-awareness.   00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Solo Cast 01:47 Lessons from Therapy Sessions: Relationship Edition 03:03 Winning or Losing in Arguments 08:30 The Power of Pausing and Reflecting 14:23 Hollow Apologies and True Acknowledgment 18:02 Understanding and the Desire to Change 23:07 Final Thoughts and Encouragement RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE TO “DON'T CUT YOUR OWN BANGS”  Like your favorite recipe or song, the best things in life are shared. When you rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast, your engagement helps me connect  with other listeners just like you. Plus, subscriptions just make life easier for everybody. It's one less thing for you to think about and you can easily keep up to date on everything that's new. So, please rate, review, and subscribe today.    DANIELLE IRELAND, LCSW I greatly appreciate your support and engagement as part of the Don't Cut Your Own Bangs community. Feel free to reach out with questions, comments, or anything you'd like to share. You can connect with me at any of the links below.   Website: https://danielleireland.com/   The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal   Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/   Blog: https://danielleireland.com/blog/   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/danielleireland_lcsw   Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW   Podcast on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@danielleireland8218/featured Transcript Winning Isn't Everything: Lessons from Therapy Sessions [00:00:00] Hello. Hello, this is Danielle Ireland and you are listening to Don't Cut Your Own Bangs Today. I am coming at you with a solo cast. These are so fun for me for many reasons. it's like a living, breathing journal where I can process things that are happening in my life or things that I've learned with clients and therapy sessions or just new aha things or whatever's really exciting for me. [00:00:28] I get an opportunity to put those in a place. I have been having some really juicy, juicy therapy sessions with clients over the last couple weeks, and what I've started to do, There are moments when I'm in a session with a client and I'm taking notes or I'm listening to something they're processing or something will fly outta my mouth, just improvised in the moment and I will think to myself, damn. [00:00:52] That was a tasty dish that was really interesting or that was super poignant, or I get like full body chills and I don't really know exactly what to do with the information, but I wanna put it somewhere. And so what has ended up happening over the years is I'll scribble something on a post-it note or I'll scratch something at the top of the client note to try to revisit later. [00:01:15] Sometimes in previous lives I've written them into blog forms or just brought them up with my husband over dinner thinking this. And actually little sneak peek behind the curtain. That is one of the ways, one of the first ways that the title for wrestling a walrus came to me. [00:01:34] It happened in a therapy session. I'm pretty sure I used it just as a way to iterate whatever the client was processing or experiencing in the moment. I wrote it down and it just stuck with me. And there's lots of moments like that. And so what we're gonna talk about today in this solo cast is lessons from sessions, but the ones that are really focused in on relationships. [00:01:58] So this is the lessons from Sessions, relationship edition, solocast, and. The only thing that's ever shared, in this podcast space is the. [00:02:12] Lessons that are gleaned, the takeaways that we can all find value from in the human experience, not personal anecdotes, addresses, names, identifiable characteristics, nothing like that. The point is not to out anybody at all. One that would be terribly unethical and I would lose my license for it. [00:02:32] But also just on a human level that feels ick. That feels really icky. I think that anybody who's curious about therapy or anyone who is in therapy, but wondered what it would be like in someone else's session. There is this innate curiosity of, is anyone else dealing with this too? [00:02:48] Has anyone else ever thought this also, or what do you do when you face this? That is, I think, a healthy, normal, reasonable curiosity I love that there's a place to share that. So yeah, we're gonna talk about relationships. So winning or losing in the context of relationships, particularly in an argument, if the goal is to win or if, if the goal is to not lose. [00:03:15] Depends on what side you're on. Are you righteous or are you just digging your heels in and being stubborn? if you are fighting to win or doggedly. Preventing the feeling of loss. Somebody always loses, win or lose. Somebody always loses in that type of dynamic. [00:03:33] So what happens when we do a fake apology? A hollow apology. And the last is the phrase I hear a lot. I just don't understand. I just don't understand. So we're gonna talk about each of these, how they play out in relationships, what you might be able to find value from within them, where you may be able to see yourself in them. [00:03:55] And I'll also share where I see myself in these too. though I sit in a therapist chair when I'm actually working with clients. I do my own work. I'm human too, and we're figuring this out together. So let's start with. When it's about winning or losing, you always lose. I think what gets lost in most heated exchanges, if we even peel back before the disagreement itself, there is a momentum. [00:04:26] That leads to disagreements, whether a repeated pattern, a repeated behavior or a fight that we keep having over and over and over again. It's never just isolated in that moment in time, there is a momentum that leads to it. [00:04:43] The issue in the kitchen or the fight in the bedroom, or the feverishly upset text exchange, Thing that we are fighting for is to be heard or to feel validated or for the other person to give us something. Usually something in the context of, you are right, I was wrong. [00:05:03] I see it your way. I will change and I will never do that thing that has led us to this moment that makes you uncomfortable ever, ever again. We're looking for some kind of either validation or a guarantee, and some of that makes sense and some of that is. Just not. and it's hard to know in that moment in time when we are flooded with feelings we're escalating and two people have dug their heels in. [00:05:30] It's sometimes hard to see the woods through the trees, but. What I know to be absolutely true, having worked with couples who are actively fighting in front of me, which is not fun. It's probably my least favorite experience working as a therapist. it really activates my nervous system, but also in my own fights and my own disagreements with my husband. [00:05:52] For example, when I am fighting to prove myself right at his expense, the expense of his experience or his point of view. I will lose because I'm either going to say something hurtful to win or I'm not listening, so I'm not receiving any of the information he's sharing. And also, once I'm that flooded and fighting to get my point of view across, I'm no longer in the environment, and I'm no longer sitting in front of my husband. [00:06:21] I'm sitting across an enemy and I'm a battle. And once that happens, once that mode is activated. That's when our worst qualities, our most destructive behaviors, can rise to the surface, and that erodes trust. it creates the opposite of really looking for, we're looking to be heard, one of the things that can be helpful is to even just catch that you're in it. am I trying to win or am I trying to understand something new? Am I trying to win or am I seeking to be heard? Am I trying to win? Meaning I need to be right. [00:07:04] And because in order for me to be right, they have to be wrong. Now, there are of course times where there maybe is a clear cut right and wrong, but what I'm speaking about in this context is not physical altercations or the extremes that are a little more clearly discerned. It's those. Muddy, messy, icky moments with someone that you actually care about or somebody who has a relationship that's important to you. [00:07:33] 'cause maybe it's not always a spouse or a romantic partner. it could be a friend or could be a family member. It could even be a coworker, but they're not a villain. They're not evil. But that is also sometimes a trick that our mind will play on us when we are fighting so hard to win, is we'll make the other person an enemy and we'll convince ourselves a story about them [00:07:53] Whatever our mode of operating makes sense to us, but what you can do is if you catch yourself in that place, you're like, oh, the warrior, the Warrior's armors on, and I am trying to win. This is, by the way, the hardest thing for me to do. Anytime because whenever there is unease, unrest, discomfort in a relationship, my need to fix or my need to get to a resolution quickly is so strong. [00:08:26] One of the best things you can do is pause the conversation, pause and walk away for a little bit. if like me, you have that hypervigilance that that need for resolution, that need to care take. Or if you are a justice seeking person, you're like, I will fight the good fight. [00:08:46] This is going to be really freaking hard. but I absolutely know. Based on the science, based on what is happening in our brains, what's happening in our nervous system, when we are engaged in an interaction like that, win or lose, you're gonna lose. So the best thing you can do when you catch it, even if it's mid-sentence, is to, and I'll actually do this, I'll do something, I'll do a gesture with my hands. [00:09:13] Like I'll throw up my hands like this, like, woo, I need, I need to stop. Or I'll do a timeout, hand signal. But I'll take a breath. I'll pump the brakes. Literally and metaphorically, I'll pump the brakes on the conversation and I need to pause and take a beat. There's actually a really common thread that I've, clients have told me about and I've actually experienced in my own life. [00:09:38] many times. I'll get off of a heated phone call and I'll hang up, and then a few minutes will go by. something will soften or a new thought will come to me, or I'll have a moment of clarity, or I'll start to feel contrite and maybe a little guilty at something at how I said something or what I said, and I'll actually have a better opportunity to reconnect through sending a text. [00:10:05] Now, I'm not a fan of text fighting or avoiding actual connection through text, but there is this phenomenon of. I have to stop the chain of events. That's un that's gaining momentum that I have. I'm losing control and I'm fighting hard to win. And I press pause and I stop and I breathe and I reflect [00:10:28] And then I'm seeing things in a different way. And then the act of texting. Is not to avoid the deeper connection, but I think there is something to, similar to why I love journaling. I'm thinking about what I'm writing and I'm thinking about what I'm sending. And generally that is either an apology or a more well-formed thought or a clarifying statement or a question that helps reframe. [00:10:56] There is something about step out of the game. If you catch yourself in this like pickleball match of like point, counterpoint, point, counterpoint, point, counterpoint, you're just trying so hard to win. [00:11:08] Step outta the game. So the pause is not abandoning the other person or abandoning the topic altogether, or it's not avoiding it. But I need to get out of this. The rules and the context of this game win or lose. I'm gonna step out. I'm gonna breathe and, you know, you're in a better place to reapproach the conversation when I come back online. [00:11:31] That's the language I use. it's hard to articulate into words 'cause it's a full body experience, The more I am caught in winning or losing or making somebody wrong, my focus becomes really narrow and I only see the examples. I only see the points that prove my perspective. Right? When I step out of the game and I breathe, [00:11:57] I come back to the present moment. from that perspective, I'm able to actually see the context of a broader frame of reference, and that opens up the conversation to better possibilities that are less corrosive and less draining. [00:12:15] So the takeaway from there, if you are fighting to win or lose, you will always lose. There is a better way to do it and my recommendation is to pause, step outta the game, breathe, reframe, and only reenter back into that interaction. When you feel yourself come back online. if you are in a relationship with a partner where you were the one choosing to step away and they. [00:12:40] Have an anxious attachment style or they are maybe more like me in this example where they're like, but they need, they need, they need to resolve. [00:12:47] So letting them know that I'm not walking away from you and I'm not avoiding us coming to. A resolution together, but now is not the time for me and I can't be my best me and do this. So depending on who you are and where you fall in each dynamic, it can be helpful to sometimes tend to that. If you have a partner that is a little bit more anxious attachedIf you've ever wanted to start a journaling practice but didn't know where to start, or if you've been journaling off and on your whole life, but you're like, I wanna take this work deeper, I've got you covered. I've written a journal called Treasured, a Journal for unearthing you. It's broken down into seven key areas of your life, filled with stories, sentence stems, prompts, questions, and exercises. [00:13:28] All rooted in the work that I do with actual clients in my therapy sessions. I have given these examples to clients in sessions as homework, and they come back with insights that allow us to do such incredible work. This is something you can do in the privacy of your own home, whether you're in therapy or not. [00:13:47] It has context, it has guides. And hopefully some safety bumpers to help digging a little deeper feel possible, accessible and safe. You don't have to do this alone. And there's also a guided treasured meditation series that accompanies each section in the journal to help ease you into the processing state. [00:14:06] So my hope is to help guide you into feeling more secure with the most important relationship in your life, the one between you and you. Hop on over to the show notes and grab your copy today. And now back to the episode. [00:14:19] When I am, sorry. Falls flat. Ooh, there is nothing. Well, okay, maybe there are other things. It really bothers me when there is a hollow, like a chocolate Easter bunny empty on the inside. I'm sorry. There are so many ways that repair is done wrong, and I think a lot of what though, these fake or hollow apologies feel rooted in. [00:14:49] It's an apology in sheep's clothing. we want a guarantee. If I just knew the right words, if I just knew the script, if I just said the right thing, then I could hijack all of the awkward, uncomfortable, vulnerable conversations that I don't wanna have. I don't actually have to feel any of the sticky, icky, uncomfortable feelings that. [00:15:10] Are involved in making amends, taking responsibility, because once I know something, I can't unknow it. And if I know something and I can't unknow it, then I might need to change. And change is uncomfortable and change is hard. if I just repeat the script, then I can just skip all that crap and get right to the fun part, which is, you know, avoiding discomfort altogether. [00:15:33] I'm sorry, but, or there's a good rule of thumb that whatever comes after, but is what you really mean. So if you find yourself either hearing or saying, I'm sorry, but blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm gonna tell you the, I'm sorry you just said was total bullshit and what you actually think and feel and what you mean is what comes after. [00:15:56] But there are so many ways that we say the words, but we don't mean the words. And so sometimes what I recommend to couples is to just swipe it from your vocabulary altogether. Because a lot of the time what we're looking for in place of an apology of atonement is acknowledgement. I see the impact my behavior had on you. [00:16:24] I see the effect that the way that I said what I just said, I can hear it now through your ears because you just shared. Your history, that experience you had when you were young, or you told me about the type of day you just had. I can now hear how that joke I thought was a joke or that comment that kind of came out sideways, or the fact that I'm frustrated and impatient I can now hear in a new way. [00:16:52] I have a new frame of reference. I have a new context because of what you shared, and I really appreciate you telling me that's not an apology, Fuck is that more powerful than so many times where we say, oh, I'm sorry, because I am sorry. Just, I'm sorry. I thought I was just making a joke. [00:17:11] Be discerning about your apologies. And also I think a really important question to ask that I will share with clients all the time. [00:17:24] Does the situation really call for an apology or is what the other person, or what you asking for is. Clarity and confirmation that your feelings matter. That your experience is real. And most of the time that is what we really are looking for. And that is enough Hollow chocolate bunny Apologies. Can Well, they can, they can get out 'cause I'm over 'em. [00:17:54] and I just don't understand. Oh. I just don't understand the faux helplessness, the performed confusion that a lot of us do. This one I find fun because when we are confused. Then we can't really make a choice. [00:18:19] And if we can't really make a choice because we don't really understand something, then guess what else we don't have to do. We don't have to change. And so a lot of times I will be working with a client who is either in a relationship with someone who is conveniently confused or they themselves. Are maybe not ready to know what they're on the cusp of knowing, or they're not ready to acknowledge what they already know. [00:18:46] There's all these different stages of readiness when it comes to making change, because change is hard and it's scary and it's uncomfortable, but this helpless confusion, I just don't understand. This is my favorite follow up question to that, and I empower you to use it. Just be ready for it though, because you can also use it on yourself. [00:19:10] I just don't understand. Do you want to, do you want to? Oof. I love that so much. Do you wanna understand, so just imagine you're having a conversation with you don't understand. Would you like to, because I'm happy to explain why it matters to me, because this is , the beauty and the really challenging part about emotional awareness . once we become aware. We can't unsee. If I don't know, then I'm gonna just keep doing what I've always done. But if I know I'm now presented with a choice that maybe I didn't have before, but now I have a choice and my choice is to either do the same thing pretending I don't know, or I'm gonna do the same thing, knowing full well and still choosing to do the same thing. [00:20:12] But it's a choice. It's not this helpless foe. I'm just lost and confused. I can't possibly be held accountable. Oh, record scratch. You do know now, and it's a real clarifying moment for an individual or for a relationship or for a job. Once I know what I know, I can't unknow it. [00:20:36] Now I'm being called to do something with this knowing, and sometimes that's a scary leap. The example that's actually coming to mind as I'm sharing this is I knew but wasn't ready to know for six months that I was ready to go out on my own and leave the practice. That helped me develop as a therapist and launch out on my own. [00:20:59] I knew for about six months that. I could afford it, that I was capable, that I had all of the resources I needed to make this happen. But I was scared to take the leap because change is hard. The unknown is uncertain and scary, and it's a new environment and new and scary, and it is just all, all the reasons why we may be avoid doing anything that's new. [00:21:24] But I knew and needed to be confused and then reminded and confused, and reminded and confused and reminded until I couldn't ignore what I knew anymore. And then I acted on it. And I think sometimes too , to wash this all with a, a big dose of compassion. I also think that a lot of times that that. [00:21:47] Knowing, not being ready to know, knowing not being ready to know is its own form of preparation. Like maybe what we see on the outside is procrastination is its own form of preparing. Getting ready to be ready, to be ready to change, [00:22:04] wherever you see yourself or your relationship or someone in your life in this process, I hope. That this has been clarifying. I hope you found some value in it or maybe sparked a fun conversation that we can continue to have. I welcome questions. I want your questions and I would love to be able to answer them for you here. [00:22:23] You can always email me at danielle@danielleireland.com. I am the only person who has access to that email, so I'll be the person that receives it. So hit me up with a follow up question. If you want me to expand on a topic or if you have a new one that you're curious about, let me know. [00:22:38] The thing I wanna leave, whether it's about winning or losing, or whether it's about when Hollow chocolate bunny bullshit apologies or being fake confused about something. If there was a way that we could simplify, well, okay, what do you actually do with this? [00:22:55] The first is breathe. The first will always be breathing. Because the breath is what allows all of the important problem solving parts of our brain that kick offline when we're absolutely flooded with emotion or in terror or thrown back to our 8-year-old emotional selves. Breath brings us back. So breathe. [00:23:19] I love doing this next step. I will think of myself or imagine myself as somewhere between like five and eight years old, but I think of little Danielle. [00:23:29] And then whenever I'm in conflict or mentally struggling with or taking issue with anyone, truly any other person, I will then imagine them as little them. So there's little Danielle and there's little them, and it softens me because one, the reality is we go back to an emotional age wherever, whenever we are flooded with emotion, the experience is exceeding our capacity to meet the moment. [00:24:01] And this is not a judgment, it's just a truth that when we get overwhelmed or flooded or have an adult tantrum or lose our temper emotions are seeping out our eyes, right? Whatever the expression is, the emotion of the moment is exceeding our capacity to meet it. Breath helps us kick back online and then remembering, oh, this is little me not knowing how to meet this moment. [00:24:25] And she's doing the best she can do. And then there's also a little version of this other person. Who is likely having the exact same experience in their own way, and it doesn't excuse behavior and it doesn't excuse mine, especially if I step outside the bounds of what's respectful. But to meet the moment with kindness and truth, doing that with compassion, with respect to what's likely happening inside me and likely happening inside the other, just really adds a nice, soft, cozy touch to the whole context. [00:25:00] Don't worry about a goddamn script. I've spent way too much time with clients, particularly in my early years, trying to craft the right thing to say. And I gotta say that those scripts will fail you when you're actually in the moment. Sentence stems can help. And maybe if you need a point of reference to launch into a well-worded email or text, but when you're speaking from the heart, it's gonna be the right thing. [00:25:25] But you won't be able to access that if you're not breathing. Disarm yourself, disarm the other. You're not enemies. You're not fighting. No one is trying to win or lose. And then say what you really feel and mean what you're saying. you'll know that it's the truth when it's also delivered with kindness. [00:25:48] Because what I absolutely believe to be true. A belief being just something you think a lot, and I think this a lot, that the truth can always be delivered with kindness. It doesn't mean it's gonna be comfy, cozy, it doesn't mean it's gonna be easy, and it doesn't mean the other person's going to like it, but it can absolutely is kind. [00:26:07] The truth is kind. So breathe, trust yourself, disarm yourself in the other. And try to do it with as much kindness as you can access. [00:26:20] I wanna hear from you. I wanna know what you think. I want to answer your questions, and I want to grow and get better with you. So before you leave, make sure to check out the show notes, all of the important links for my children's book, wrestling, a Walrus, my journal, treasure, a Journal for unearthing you, my website, all the fun ways you can connect with me. [00:26:40] They are there for you in the show notes. Make sure to check those out and write, review, subscribe to the podcast. Those three things are like the 1, 2, 3 power punch that help this podcast meet other people who can get value from it. The best things in life are shared, so please share and I hope you continue to have a wonderful day. [00:26:59]

Some people approach life so cautiously that they are afraid of living. Growth comes when we are willing to get uncomfortable....

“The subject of affairs, I think it's of interest to everybody. We have all had an Oedipal experience - we've all been babies who have at some point realized that we are not the only person. We're not perfectly fused with our mother, and she has other things to do, and there may be a father. We've all known what rejection feels like, and probably betrayal, and I think that affairs are in our unconscious. I think that's sort of evident in the way that most great novels, most great films, or at least many, have an affair at their heart. From Anna Karenina to Madame Bovary to Fatal Attraction, I think this is something that is just interesting. I wanted to write about affairs because I think they are a way of showing what psychoanalysis can do in a field in which everyone has an opinion on, and probably most people, in some way, have been indirectly or directly affected by. That was really the sort of the genesis for wanting to write about affairs.” Episode Description: We consider the challenge of writing about dynamic treatments in a manner that is accessible to the non-clinical reader. Juliet's book about affairs opens up this widely recognized experience and adds intrapsychic insights without using emotionally - distancing jargon. She introduces us to individuals who have been involved in affairs, with carefully protected confidentiality, who generally reveal the power of past experiences to influence adult choices. Some end happily, and some end in agony. Juliet demonstrates the usefulness of bringing a dynamic listening to both accepting and deepening each individual's lifelong search for love.   Our Guest: Juliet Rosenfeld is a psychoanalyst and a member of the British Psychoanalytical Society, London. She studied at Oxford before a 15-year career in advertising and marketing, ending up in Government Communications. During this time, she began a Master's at the Tavistock and Portman Trust in Organizational Consultancy and started training as a psychotherapist a year later. She qualified as an integrative psychotherapist in 2012. Juliet was an elected trustee of the UK Council of Psychotherapy for four years, and is presently one of two clinician Trustees at the Freud Museum London, Sigmund Freud's final home. Juliet is the author of two books, The State of Disbelief ( 2020) and Affairs, True Stories of Love, Lies, Hope and Desire. Juliet's broader interest is in how psychoanalysis might be more accessible, and its ideas put into non-clinical language for audiences who may never be able to access psychotherapy themselves but are curious about what the unconscious means and what goes on in the consulting room. Recommended Readings: Creativity and Perversion by Janine Chasseguet-Smirgel (W. W. Norton & Co., Inc., 1984)   Dreams of Love and Fateful Encounters by Ethel S. Person (American Psychiatric Association Publishing, 2006)   Home Is Where We Start From by D. W. Winnicott (Penguin, 1990)   Love in the Time of the Internet by Martina Burdet (underbau, 2020)   Sex, Death and the Super Ego by Ronald Britton (Routledge, 2020)   Sexual Attraction in Therapy edited by Maria Luca (Wiley-Blackwell, 2014)   Sexuality and Attachment in Clinical Practice edited by Joseph Schwartz and Kate White (Routledge, 2019)   The Bonds of Love by Jessica Benjamin (Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, 1988)   The New Sexual Landscape and Contemporary Psychoanalysis by Danielle Knafo and Rocco Lo Bosco (Confer Books, 2020)   Novels about Affairs Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy (Penguin Classics, 2003)   A Very English Scandal by John Preston (Penguin, 2017)   Deception by Philip Roth (Vintage, 1991)   Getting Lost by Annie Ernaux (Fitzcarraldo Editions, 2022)   Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert (Wordsworth Editions, 1993)   Middlemarch by George Eliot (Wordsworth Editions, 1993)   The End of the Affair by Graeme Green (Vintage Classics, 2004)     

Jamie Leahey preaches from Song of Songs 2:8-17, continuing in our sermon series “Communion with Christ”.

Topics:  God's Design, Showing On Your Phone, First Year Marriage Cringe, Most Livable, Powerball vs. Contentment, YouTube, It's About Today, Breaking Animal news, Harvard: Human Flourishing BONUS CONTENT: Showing On The Phone Follow-Up     Quotes: “Lord please help me to line up my desires with that which is actually life giving.” “It's just a chair.” “Today is not coming back.” “We can trust God to give us strength.” “Scripture is a way to flourish.” “Have some grace, Iron Bob.” . . . Holy Ghost Mama Pre-Order! Want more of the Oddcast? Check out our website! Watch our YouTube videos here. Connect with us on Facebook! For Christian banking you can trust, click here!

Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!:https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ In this episode of Sex with Emily, world-renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel joins us for an intimate conversation about the complexities of modern love, desire, and relationships. From her groundbreaking work on infidelity to her insights on maintaining passion in long-term partnerships, Esther shares the wisdom that has helped millions navigate the tension between security and excitement in love. We explore Esther's core philosophy that desire is not something you have—it's something you cultivate. She breaks down the fundamental paradox of modern relationships: love seeks closeness and security, while desire craves space, novelty, and mystery. We discuss how to integrate these opposing forces and why the question "Can you want what you already have?" is central to sustaining passion over time. Esther reveals why eroticism is truly a state of mind, how pleasure connects directly to self-worth, and her revolutionary perspective on infidelity—that sometimes people don't go elsewhere to find another person, but to find another version of themselves. We also dive into her new card game "Where Should We Begin," designed to foster vulnerability and deep connection through storytelling. This conversation addresses the unrealistic expectations we place on one partner to be our everything, practical tools for managing relationship anxiety, and why modern love requires us to calibrate rather than abandon our expectations. Whether you're single, coupled, or somewhere in between, Esther's insights offer a roadmap for creating more authentic, passionate connections. Timestamps 0:00 - Introduction 2:45 - The evolution from duty to desire 8:02 - Can we experience desire and deep love simultaneously? 11:20 - "I turn myself off when..." vs "I turn myself on when..." 16:00 - Pleasure vs. performance 19:09 - The ice cream exercise 25:52 - One person can't be everything 31:14 - Understanding infidelity 35:10 - Playing the relationship game 44:00 - Dealing with anxiety in love