I Died The Day I Loved You: The Journey of an Interracial Relationship

Van & Joel give talk about what lead to their breakup, whether they would have stayed together and how the racism & disrespect of Joel's immediate family affected their friendship. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel gives his interpretation of what lead to their breakup. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel detail how his family's disrespect & racism led to their breakup. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van details how Joel's family & friend disrespected her family & her home... and led to a major change in their relationship. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel & Van delve into how his love language led to a new level of trust with her family. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel discusses his trust for Van's family & how his small gesture was par for the course. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel & Van talk more about her aunt and how their relationship during her childhood shaped who she is today. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van reminisces about one of her familial inspirations and how Joel stepped up during one of her family's saddest times. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel & Van chat about the first time they said "I love you", what "love" means and how past relationships - and parent's marriages - affected their willingness to say "I love you". --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel discusses the first time he told Van "I love you"... and how it didn't go as planned. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel discuss meeting Joel's extended family. They also delve into how they would have handled familial racism differently if they knew then what they know now. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van recalls the first time Joel told her he loved her, as well as when she met Joel's aunt, uncle, grandmother & (racist) grandfather. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel delve deep into how the racism of Joel's parents affected his decision to date outside of his race again. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel details the steps he took before asking Van to be his girlfriend. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel detail how they finally became a couple, the ways they view forgiveness and how their pasts affected their present. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van gushes about the evening Joel asked her to be his girlfriend... and how demons from her past tried to ruin the celebration. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel detail their first out-of-state trip with each other and how it brought them closer together. Would they let their hormones get the best of them and cross the line? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel tells the tale of his & Van's first trip to NYC together and how his feelings started to deepen. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel break down the lead up to their first trip together including: how it came about, previous overnight trips they experienced, Van's appearance on The Today Show and how she hadn't experienced the best of luck in social situations. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van shares her memories of her first trip out of state with Joel and how she started to fall more in love with him. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel discuss the effortless nature of their first official (non-Walmart & Waffle House) date. Was it intricately planned or did they just go where the wind took them? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel reminisces about his & Van's first Valentine's Day/double date with his parents together, as well as the easy spontaneity of their first official date. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel discuss all the details behind their first Valentine's Day, as well as their first double date with Joel's parents (and how his parent's behavior appears differently today). --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van describes what she remembers about her & Joel's first Valentine's Day together, as well as their first official date. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel discuss how their relationship started to grow & thrive, while the relationships of others close to them faltered & failed. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel reminisces on his first kiss with Van... and how it wasn't exactly what he thought it would be. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel & Van delve deeper into her "relationship" with Ernest. Then, they think back on how adding a physical aspect changed their relationship forever. One tiny problem: they remember key details very differently. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van reminisces on her expedited breakup with Ernest... and how she & Joel took their friendship to a physical level. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel discuss their relationship with Joel's immediate family (Stephen, Janet, Michael & Jessica) and how it foreshadowed their future. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel reminisces to the first time he met Van's parents, as well as her first time meeting his immediate family. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel discuss in detail how their friendship & dynamic changed once he met her parents. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van thinks back to the first time Joel met her parents, as well as her first time meeting Joel's immediate family (Stephen, Janet, Jessica & Michael). --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel & Van discuss the details of his breakup with Tiara and how he sought solace (and a shoulder to cry on) in Van. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel delves deeper into the breakdown of his relationship with Tiara. Did his friendship with Van lead to Tiara cheating on him? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel discuss her dangerous dance with infidelity and whether they let their hormones get the best of them. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van tells her side of how she played with fire. Does she cross the line and lead Joel to cheating? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel discuss the breakdown of his relationship with Tiara and how he started to learn his parents are racist. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel recounts the beginning of the breakdown of his relationship with Tiara. Was his parents' racism the catalyst? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel & Van discuss her intentions towards Joel's relationship, as well as Van's past crushes. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van shows the lengths - or rather, the heights - she would go through to prove her loyalty (and possibly love) to Joel. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel discuss Joel's interpretation of how they met, as well as his many past relationships and how his previous girlfriend interacted with his parents. Did race affect their relationship? --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Joel's take on how he met Van while working at the Georgia Aquarium. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van & Joel discuss Van's interpretation of how they met. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Van's take on how she met Joel while working at the Georgia Aquarium. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

Join me & my husband Joel - the authors of "I Died The Day I Loved You: The Journey of an Interracial Relationship" - as we take you through the many trials and tribulations we've faced as a couple. Ultimately, we hope to show all couples that they too can overcome any obstacle and strengthen their love for one another. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

On this episode, we answer several questions from our Facebook listeners ranging from "Can I truly be for black lives if I don't think All Cops Are Bad?" to "What are things I can do to be a part of the solution without speaking over black people?" --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

On this episode, we discuss what we learned about race (and racism) from our family & friends while growing up. From diversity within friends of the family to racism becoming a personality trait for some, we talk about how these experiences shaped who we are today. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

On this episode, we discuss what verbal, behavioral and colloquial microaggressions are & how to avoid expressing them. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

On this episode, we answer a question many of our listeners (from different ages and backgrounds) have asked: "How can I be an ally and show I care about my black friends?" Here are the organizations you can donate to & volunteer with that we mentioned in the episode: I Run With Maud / gofundme.com/f/i-run-with-maud Justice For Breonna / justiceforbreonna.org National Bail Fund Network / communityjusticeexchange.org/nbfn-directory Brooklyn Community Bail Fund / brooklynbailfund.org Reclaim The Block / reclaimtheblock.org Northstar Health Collective / northstarhealthcollective.org George Floyd Memorial Fund / gofundme.com/f/georgefloyd The Bail Project / bailproject.org Black Visions Collective / blackvisionsmn.org Headcount / headcount.org Black Lives Matter / blacklivesmatter.com Human Rights Campaign / hrc.org American Civil Liberties Union / aclu.org Supermajority Education Fund / supermajority.com March For Our Lives / marchforourlives.com Mi Familia Vota / mifamiliavota.org Native American Rights Fund / narf.org Planned Parenthood / plannedparenthood.org White People For Black Lives / awarela.org Innocence Project / innocenceproject.org Proclaim Justice / proclaimjustice.org --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

On this episode, we delve into another question from one of our listeners: "What are your plans regarding racial identify and your baby? Will you allow them to decide how to identify, or encourage them to choose (or not) an identify (whether it is black, white, or biracial). I am the black older sibling of two biracial children. One identifies as black/African America, and the other as biracial/mixed. I always wondered how parents made these decisions." --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support

On this episode, we delve into a question from one of our listeners: "I am a Big Sister to a 16-year-old black girl. I've been her Big through Big Brothers Big Sisters for 9 years and I know she trusts me and that we care about one another. However, I no longer live close by and we only chat once a month or so and I, of course, send little gifts and cards when special days are happening. However, how do I talk with her about everything that is going on now? Being a teen is hard enough without a white woman trying to talk to you about racism. I just want to handle this topic in the best way possible. Suggestions?" --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/idiedthedayilovedyou/support