The news you need with the 1940s slang you want in just one minute! That's right, the news in just 60 seconds because that's all the time off America can afford for you to take.
All the current news for America in 1940s speak & quality for you boxride in the borough! Today! - It's that voodoo only Mississippi can do do! - Dial 'D' for Dead French Guy! - Secret to weight loss revealed; don't eat food!
All the current news for America in 1940s speak & quality to put the kale in your pocket! Today! - Salvation Army becomes latest victim of the deadly drug marijuana! - Crazy Ivan goes more crazy-er! - Chinese smog is the cure for the capitalist blues!
All the current news for America in 1940s speak & quality to make your biscuit boy start cooking pancakes. Today! - Southern state braces for potential imminent UFO attack - Shocking news story! A Florida woman lies to gain favor with a man! - Chevron answers the question "Does anyone smell gas?" with a resounding "No."
All the current news for America in 1940s speak & quality to make your biscuit boy start cooking pancakes. Today! - Loving Lardo loses large for lady love! - "The internet is a fad" screams the quickly dying paper lobby. - A New Zealand man does a startlingly realistic balloon impression.
All the current news for America in 1940s speak & quality that would make a roundheel spare a pumper! Today! - A South Carolina woman is arrested for never letting go of Jennifer Lopez - The Navy announces ship-mounted laser beams. Are rocket men far behind? - Is America ready to say "I still love my gun?"
All the current news for America in 1940s speak & quality that would make a bangtail spin circles. Today! - Crisis: America cries that hospitals are a pain in the neck! - Seattle students give Ivan a run for his money in to race to space! - Ellen Page sort of, but not really shocks the world!
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