Mindful Riding

Hi everybody! I'm sorry it's been almost two weeks since my last blog post! We had a horse show a week and a half ago and I tell you, those weekend horse shows wipe me out more than they used to! I used to be so sad leaving at the end of the weekend but now I'm usually ready to get back home and in routine again. Part of getting older, I suppose? (Or maybe having a very active toddler at the shows is the game changer??) On top of that, I have been fighting a nasty cold that has been circulating my family since Christmas. I thought I had escaped it but unfortunately not. It can be very difficult to allow motivation and inspiration to flow through you when you are not feeling well. I'm starting to feel better now and I am ready to share with you all again! I want to talk a little bit this week on the subject of discontentment. This was a subject that came up in the mom's group I am a part of and boy does it tie in to horses and riding. Have you ever thought to yourself, "If only I could do XYZ then I would feel validated as a rider and everything would be great!". And then, say you achieve that goal. Then what? Most likely you end up right in that same position again...."Well, ok I achieved that but I really need to achieve THIS to be validated!" and so the pattern continues. (This does not only apply to riding) Believe me, I have been there! In pursuit of my USDF medals especially. I felt that, if only I could achieve my bronze medal...well then I could show people that I can train a horse to third level and then I would feel validated as a rider and trainer. So the Bronze medal came and while it satisfied me for a little while, soon I was in pursuit for my silver medal. "It's really the silver medal that will have people take me seriously!". This is the way of it, isn't it? The old saying "the grass is greener on the other side" isn't far off. It's human nature to be discontent with what we have. We always strive for more, to be better, to be thinner, to be more ambitious. Have you ever said to yourself, "If only I would lose that 5 extra pounds...then I would be happy." I have a secret for you...happiness is not something that we should constantly be chasing for chasing happiness if like chasing the wind, always out of reach...happiness is within us. We own it all along! Try changing your perspective and see what happens. I challenge everybody reading this right now to make a list of all the things that you are grateful for. Our lives are full of blessings and although we may experience hardships, uncertainty and struggle, by focusing on those things that we are grateful for, we can handle those difficult times with a clear head and open heart. Also, I encourage you to enjoy the process. The journey of riding can be incredibly challenging but also beautifully rewarding. The struggles you have today will not be the struggles for tomorrow. Keep that in mind and accept and even enjoy the process. The struggles you face and eventually overcome will lead you to transformation and an understanding and acceptance of others that may be experiencing those same struggles. Horse's are such incredible, beautiful creatures. They can teach us so much about acceptance...not only of our peers but of ourselves first and foremost. If we do not accept and love ourselves, we cannot expect to accept or love others. When you feel like you come up short or are discontent with some aspect of your life, take a moment, close your eyes, breathe in the scent of your horse as you stroke his neck. Center yourself and show gratitude for all you have. By showing gratitude, I am not saying that you should ignore any pain, discontent or unhappiness you feel. The purpose of mindfulness is to be present and FEEL these things. But gratitude can begin the healing process. Thank you all for reading. Much love and many blessings, Jenna

Merriam-Webster defines failure as "an omission of occurrence or performance" or "a lack of success" or "falling short". In life, we are bound to have high points and low points and at times, we may not have the outcome expected or desired but what really determines failure? Particularly in the realm of riding and training horses? I think for many of us, we have a close relationship with failure. It can be like a veil that we wear constantly. It causes us to look at everything in our life so critically and it's so quick to judge us and cause us pain. Several years ago I was incredibly frustrated with my riding, extremely hard on myself and feeling completely burned out. I remember thinking, "every time I get on my horse, I feel like such a failure. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm such a loser." How many of you can relate to that? And once those nasty voices start, it can be extremely hard to quiet them! We spiral down moment by moment until we are a heap of self despair and depression. Why are we so incredibly hard on ourselves? We say things to ourselves that we would never dream of saying to a friend. Life changes by changing our perspective and by developing self love and acceptance. I'm sure some of you cringed just now with the word "self love". I did too not so very long ago. I was so full of judgement about myself that I would never live up to my own expectations. I was never a good enough rider, never a good enough friend, never a good enough daughter. When I started a shift in perspective, I was able to treat myself more like a friend, rather than an enemy. We start by changing our perspective a little at a time. When you feel yourself start to head down that familiar path of negative self talk, pause, take a deep breath and say to yourself, "It's ok. It's all ok." Talk to yourself like you would a friend that is going through a difficult time, full of compassion and free of judgement. The more you catch yourself before you head down that rabbit hole of self hatred, the quicker you can train yourself to go to compassion first. With horses, what determines a success? If you set a lofty competition goal and do not achieve it, are you a failure? Did you grow and learn in the process? There are so many highly successful people that share that failure not only leads to eventual success but is VITAL in the process of succeeding. "Every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent success." Napoleon Hill "I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work." Thomas A. Edison "There is no failure except in no longer trying." Elbert Hubbard "Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat." F. Scott Fitzgerald The list goes on and on. So, why are we so hard on ourselves when we "fail"? The only true failure is quitting, or even worse...never trying at all. That's why I like that first description of failure...the omission of occurrence or performance. If you are out there trying and working towards your goals, I commend you! I encourage you all to look at your next "failure" from a different perspective. Ask yourself what you learned in the process? Who did you become? And, so importantly, PERSIST and PERSEVERE! YOU ARE ENOUGH!! Be kind to yourself, be compassionate. Catch yourself in your old patterns...this is the first step in developing a new way of thinking which is the first step into developing self acceptance and love. It's important to be kind to our horses, but also just as important to be kind to ourselves. I would even go so far to say that the only we can be truly kind to our horses is to first be kind to ourselves. Much love my friends! ​-Jenna

"I cannot emphasize enough the importance of the education of the rider's mind and attitude. The life of an equestrian involves one's personal inner life and values, and one's ethics and character traits. There is no question that horsemanship is a science of many branches." -Charles de Kunffy The Ethics and Passions of Dressage If you think back to some of your best memories either on horseback or around horses, I would bet that the most memorable are moments that you were incredibly present - not worrying about the past or the future but simply living in the moment and connecting to your horse on an emotional and spiritual level. One of my best memories was when my mare, Jypsy Rose, was four years old. At that age she was a pretty free spirited youngster, prone to tension, nerves and spookiness. One day when it was time to ride her, the sky opened up and a torrential downpour ensued. On the roof of the covered arena, the sound was deafening. You could not even hear yourself think! (Which turned out to be a beautiful thing!) I nervously hopped on her and proceeded to have the most harmonious and beautiful ride I had ever had on her. We were so connected. At that time I had to have the white noise of the rain shower to drown out the sometimes obnoxious voices in my head telling me that I wasn't doing something right, or that I was no doubt ruining my horse. Negative self talk and never feeling like enough were always challenging obstacles for me but in that moment it all disappeared and my horse and I connected in a beautiful and intimate way. By being in the present moment, we allow ourselves to truly experience the beauty (or sometimes the pain) in each moment. When we stay present in the saddle, we can open our minds and bodies in a way that we can connect to our equine partners. We can feel their bodies, their crookedness or tension and be open and calm enough to make corrections from moment to moment. When we align the horse, feel them moving forward and over the back, we can feel that openness in our own bodies as well. Much of riding is based on feel...what do you feel in your own body that your horse is communicating to you through his? By entering into a meditation practice, you begin to come aware of thoughts, feelings, emotions and physical sensations that arise in the body. As a rider, we must remain present in order to be able to best communicate with our horse. Otherwise, the ego can take over and it's imperative that we do not allow the ego to control ourselves when we work around horses. When the ego takes over, harmony and empathy is lost. This week I encourage you all to check in with yourself throughout your rides and make sure that you are staying present. Notice the thoughts and feelings that arise in your body and acknowledge them. Getting to know yourself in this deep way, focusing on your inner values, will open the doors for you to become the rider and human being that you've always wanted to be. I send you love and light! Until next time, Jenna

Welcome to the first Mindful Riding Podcast!