Calling All Dwaynes

This episode features tantalizing love rhombuses and Twilight Zonesque twists but, believe it or not, we don’t really talk about Dwayne Johnson in this episode. We know that’s not unusual per se, but what is unusual is the 25 minute mock trial that we hold in order to decide whether pears are a good fruit or not. It’s by far one of our more focused efforts. Also: Dynamilk Duo, one of those skype robots, the HBO logo, and benignas.

Okay now hear us out. This is going to be a long and nearly unlistenable journey, but if you're going to understand the argument that this episode's title puts forth then you're going to have to sit through a lot of bad guitar playing. We're also going to have to spoil both Mr. Robot and Stephen King's Dark Tower series so make sure not to listen until you've watched that entire TV series and read those seven gigantic novels. Still with us? Okay, let's go. Also: Steve Martin solipsism, CNCNBC, Salvador Dali: explained, and the Oval Office The Office.

The noms are out and once again the D-Man has been snubbed by the Academy. Did they not see Central Intelligence?! Or that Ford commercial where he holds up the tires?! Clearly the Old Man Who Lives in a Lighthouse and Watches all the Movies has a serious anti-Dwayne bias. And maybe a bit too much of a liking for La La Land. Also: Flea’s acting career, Ana Whim, the orphanage we’re always talking about, and we congratulate ourselves on making our character a transgender woman.

Oh, brother. Without giving away too much, let's just say that this episode features Carl making QUITE an attempt at a record held by a certain Mr. Johnson. Will Carl add yet another world record to his name? More importantly, does anyone have a twelve year old bumper sticker we could borrow? Also: Agent Orange, God hates boats, Furry Vengeance 2, and Joey sings the Daddy Song