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Everything the client is saying about somebody else, they’re saying it about themselves as well. They’re revealing something important about themselves, but with the focus on somebody else. It’s fascinating, and I don’t think it’s an exaggeration that for all the years I’ve been doing this work, whenever a person has come into my office after I’ve seen someone in the family describe them, they have never fit the description that I have conjured up in my mind from those descriptions that were told to me. - Dr. David Freeman

You can’t be a parent and not be anxious. Of course you’re going to be anxious. Acting anxious is about you, not your child. Children will avoid their parents because the anxiety and worry is about the parent needing their child to be different. Children need their parents to be calm and provide a safe place to explore what is going on for them. However, so long as a parent is responding from an inner anxious state, the child feels that they are not heard or understood and will avoid being open with their parent. They will think, “My mother and father don’t understand what I’m up against and why I’m feeling so much pain that I have to numb myself to get through the day.

What is a marriage? A marriage is two separate selves trying to figure out a way to connect with each other. It’s the selves that are having difficulty connecting, not the marriage. I always say to people that if you can figure yourself out and be grounded in yourself, your relationships will be fine; the marriage will take care of itself.

What gets in the way of our desire to bring change to ourselves and our relationships with Dr. David Freeman and Avrum Nadigel, MSW

Wisdom about parenting, marriage and becoming a wise elder from a Family Systems perspective with Avrum Nadigel, MSW & the late Dr. David Freeman