You Never Miss the Dopamine (until the brain runs dry)

Author Bill Schmalfeldt wraps up his first volume of essays by mocking his midbrain, tormenting his little sister over her toy cell phone, and sharing his bizarre, levodopa-induced dreams.  "You Never Miss the Dopamine... (until the brain runs dry) Vol. 1 is available on Bill's website, http://parkinsondiary.com, and at Amazon and Barnes & Noble's websites. His second volume of essays, "Dopamine-2" is also available on his website, Amazon and B&N. And don't forget to donate!  100 percent goes to PD Research.

In the fifth installment of his hilarious true life essays about "Life with Parkinson's disease, and the other crap that annoys me," Bill Schmalfeldt discusses the UP side of the disease, bonking his head on a kitchen cabinet while killing ants (pain and pleasure!), more of his "bad radio" dreams, and a few words on speech difficulties. 100% of the author proceeds from this book will be donated to the National Parkinson Foundation and the Charles DBS Fund at Vanderbilt... so feel free to listen without donating and try not to let the guilt BOTHER you. Bill blogs daily at Parky Bill's Parkinson's Disease Place.

In this fourth episode of hilarious true essays, Bill Schmalfeldt talks drugs, booze and constipation.  He confesses that the extra levodopa helps with the Parkinson's disease-related cramps at night, but OY the dreams!  (Being married to Betty Boop, for instance.)  And he talks about a peculiarly German clinical trial to test young girls' fear responses -- with spiders. Oh, those wacky scientists! 100% of the author proceeds from this book will be donated to the National Parkinson Foundation and the Charles DBS Fund at Vanderbilt... so feel free to listen without donating and try not to let the guilt BOTHER you. Bill blogs daily at Parky Bill's Parkinson's Disease Place.

In the third episode of this wild series of real life essays, Bill Schmalfeldt discusses the dependability of "Depends".  He asks what you mean when you say you are "extremely patriotic."  He shares some letters generated by his blog.  And he reaches out to a special reader in Wasilla, Alaska. 100% of the author proceeds from this book will be donated to the National Parkinson Foundation and the Charles DBS Fund at Vanderbilt... so feel free to listen without donating and try not to let the guilt BOTHER you. Bill blogs daily at Parky Bill's Parkinson's Disease Place.

In the second episode of this outrageous series of real-life essays, author Bill Schmalfeldt talks about the gradual onset of mild cognitive impairment and how his wife helps keep him in line.  He relates a story about sensory overload at a shopping mall and being impaled on a doggy toy box.  ("I asked my wife to lift my shirt and tell me how much of my intestines were hanging out.  Happily, the answer was none.")  And he complains about news reports that claim Parkinson's is a "fatal disease." 100% of the author proceeds from this book will be donated to the National Parkinson Foundation and the Charles DBS Fund at Vanderbilt... so feel free to listen for free and try not to let the guilt BOTHER you. Bill blogs daily at Parky Bill's Parkinson's Disease Place.

In this initial episode, author Bill Schmalfeldt sets down some ground rules.  "If you start "feeling sorry" for me... TURN THIS PODIOBOOK OFF!  That's not what it's for!  It's about my life as a guy with Parkinson's disease and the other crap that annoys me.  This book is designed to amuse and entertain, to astound and enchant... not to enlighten!" In the first of several short, hilarious essays, Bill writes about a whiny daughter who whined about her whiny husband and their whiny kids who were forced -- FORCED, I tell you -- to care for her father with Parkinson's... for MONTHS!  Much to her dad's relief, he eventually found a nursing home and died. Bill also discusses his own father, his wild disease and drug-induced dreams, and busting his head on the bedroom wall while doing balance exercises. 100% of the author proceeds from this book will be donated to the National Parkinson Foundation and the Charles DBS Fund at Vanderbilt... so feel free to listen for free and try not to let the guilt BOTHER you. Bill blogs daily at Parky Bill's Parkinson's Disease Place.