Podcasts about barnes and noble

Ask professionals at the world's biggest companies whether they have a plan for their own learning and growth, and Bill Hoogterp says the answer is almost never yes. He built LifeHikes around that gap, and in this episode he shows how a happy accident turned into a scalable model. Bill's career reads like a series of rivers rather than a roadmap: a decade of living cashless and keyless, nonprofits that mobilized over a million student volunteers, an internet company that grew into Raptive, and, 12 years ago, a pivot into training and coaching. Peter presses him for the through line, and the answer says a lot about how ideas take shape. The pivotal moment came at a public speaking session with a room full of Hollywood agents. Bill's coaches had started offering ten free minutes of executive coaching during breaks. When one agent asked for an honest read on himself in front of the group, a line formed. Peter calls it the free sample model, the same play bakeries and Costco have run for years. Those short conversations surfaced a bigger problem. Learning is highly structured until school ends, and then people are on their own, with no system for mapping what to learn, what the business needs, and where they want to go. As Prudential's Charlie Lowrey put it, it's the 401(k) before the 401(k). LifeHikes is Bill's answer: a model any company can customize, shaped by regular conversations with a couple hundred learning leaders. He is also moving his shares into a foundation, which is now working with the Mastercard Foundation on workforce skills for young people in Africa. Then the conversation gets personal. Bill has coached celebrities and CEOs, and he is direct about what he sees behind the titles: plenty of people who look like they're crushing it are running on empty. Beyond a certain income, he argues, fulfillment comes from growth, challenge, meaning, and adventure, and how society keeps score shapes what we chase. He even asks Peter to guess how much potential most people leave on the table. If you build ideas for a living, or lead people who do, this one is worth your time. It's a candid look at how a small experiment becomes a model, and what a model is ultimately for. Three Key Takeaways: • Give people a taste and demand follows. Ten free minutes of executive coaching at the end of a training session revealed a hunger most people didn't know they had. The sample became the on-ramp to a much larger business. • Growth is a missing system, not a missing desire. Once school ends, nobody maps out what you should learn or where you're headed. A customizable, 401(k)-style model gives companies a way to fill that gap for everyone, not just the top tier. • How you keep score shapes what you chase. Past a certain income, happiness comes from growth, challenge, meaning, and adventure, not the next raise. Change the scoring, as the three-point line changed basketball, and you change the game. This conversation is basically the book in miniature. Bill's LifeHikes story — free coaching samples turning into a scalable model, one insight at a time — is exactly the pattern Peter, Bill Sherman, and Naren Aryal mapped out after 700+ podcast conversations with thought leaders. If you want the frameworks behind what you just heard, not just the anecdote, pick up The Thought Leadership Handbook, co-authored by Peter Winick, Bill Sherman, and Naren Aryal. It's available now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Amplify and Bookshop.org.

Comedian Sally Ann Hall rejoins the show to dissect whether a girlfriend saw her actual boyfriend or ...a skin walker. Ghost stories! Gabe saw one in an AirBnB. We basically write a whole movie. What would you do if you woke up locked in a Barnes and Noble and had to read every single book to get out? A woman texts her friend that she's actually lucky that her daughter died. TW: Discussion of the Lindsay Clancy trial, SA and infanticidehttps://www.funnysallyann.com/Check out Rosetta Stone and use my code TODAY for a great deal: https://www.rosettastone.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Former paranormal investigator Johnny Haney spent years searching for answers in the supernatural. After losing his mother, grief drove him to build what he called a portal in hopes of communicating with her. Then voices began answering. They seemed to know details about his life. One different voice confronted him about his past, and eventually pointed him toward Scripture and, Johnny says, Jesus Christ.  One night, his search took a terrifying turn. Johnny says he woke up conscious in complete darkness as a childlike voice screamed at him from every direction. He called on God, then Jesus - and says the paranormal activity that had followed him for years stopped completely. In this episode of Everyday Miracles Podcast, Johnny shares his journey through paranormal investigation, spirit communication, grief, supernatural encounters, spiritual deception, faith, redemption, and Jesus. His testimony raises a bigger question for all of us: when we are desperate for answers, healing, comfort, wisdom, or a word from God, where do we turn? Watch Johnny's full story and hear what happened after he opened the portal, what the voices told him, why he began questioning what he was communicating with, and how his search for answers ultimately changed his life. John 14:16 "I am the way, and the truth, and the life." - Jesus Other testimony related scriptures: 1 John 4:1, Deuteronomy 18:10-12, Leviticus 20:6 "I will set my face against that person." God speaking of mediums and necromancers. Isaiah 55:7 invites someone to the Lord, "for He will abundantly pardon." There is truly forgiveness for everyone. Romans 10:13 "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." To contact Johnny by email: bluemoonsessions @gmail.com   Johnny's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@REV1211CHANNEL The purpose of the Everyday Miracles Podcast is to share the love of Jesus. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed by guests do not necessarily represent the host's thoughts. This podcast does not constitute services or medical advice. Please pray and thoroughly research options for medical needs. Listeners and viewers consume this content voluntarily and assume all responsibility for the resulting consequences and impact. Everyday Miracle compilation book on Amazon: https://a.co/d/45cgbP8 Everyday Miracle compilation book on Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/everyday-miracles-julie-hedenborg/1146173449?ean=9798881501808 Subscribe to Julie's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@everydaymiraclespodcast1395 Website for Everyday Miracles (APPLY!): http://everydaymiraclespodcast.com/ To follow Everyday Miracles Podcast on itunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everyday-miracles-podcast/id1447430033 On Social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/everydaymiraclespodcast/ Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/everydaymiraclespodcast/ tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@everydaymiraclespodcast linkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julie-hedenborg-452028a7/ To email Julie directly:   everydaymiraclespodcast@gmail.com

Power of Praying Scriptures over your Marriage: Special Patreon Release with Jodie Berndt   1 Thessalonians 3:12 (NIV) "May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you."   *Transcription Below*   Jodie Berndt is bestselling author of the Praying the Scriptures book series, which includes volumes for Children, Teens, Adult Children, and Life, plus the new Praying the Scriptures for Your Marriage (2023). Jodie has been a trusted speaker, Bible teacher, and prayer warrior for over thirty years. She and her husband, Robbie, have four married children, and they live in Virginia Beach, Virginia.   Connect with Jodie through her website or Instagram.   Questions and Topics We Discuss: What are some ancient truths from Scripture that stand out to you, specifically as it relates to marriage? Will you share a few of the helpful questions for couples that you write in the book? How have you seen kindness open the door to changes in a marriage?   Thank You to Our Sponsors: Chick-fil-A East Peoria and The Savvy Sauce Charities (and donate online here)   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Please help us out by sharing this episode with a friend, leaving a 5-star rating and review, and subscribing to this podcast!   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”   Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”   Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”   Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”   John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:09)   Laura Dugger: (0:10 - 2:47) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   I want to say a huge thank you to today's sponsors for this episode, Chick-fil-A East Peoria and Savvy Sauce Charities.   If this is your first time here, welcome! You may be wondering what it means to have a special Patreon release. So, here's the scoop. Patreon was a platform we used to generate financial support for The Savvy Sauce, and we expressed our thanks to those paying patrons by giving them a bonus episode every month. But, in 2024, we transitioned away from Patreon when we became a non-profit called Savvy Sauce Charities. The podcast is part of this non-profit, which exists to resource loved ones to inspire growth and intimacy with God and others.   So, people used to pay to support us through Patreon, but now they can just donate directly to our non-profit. We spend thousands of dollars each year to record and produce these episodes, and we do pray that they're beneficial and that God sees fit to use them to be transformational in your life. If that is the case, if you have ever benefited from an episode of The Savvy Sauce, would you consider showing your gratitude through your financial generosity? Any amount is greatly appreciated. In fact, if every listener gave only $1 per month, it would completely offset our costs. We have all the details on our website, thesavvysauce.com, but feel free to also reach out to our team anytime if you want to partner together. Our email address is info@thesavvysauce.com.   And now I'm pleased to share this episode with you that used to only be available to paying patrons. Jodie Berndt is my guest today. She is the bestselling author of the Praying the Scriptures book series, and today we're going to focus on the powerful way to pray the scriptures for our marriage. And I just want to give you a heads up that you may hear a lot of airplanes in the background during our conversation, but I hope it doesn't take away from all the goodness Jodie is about to share. Here's our chat.   Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Jodie.   Jodie Berndt: (2:49 - 2:53) Laura, thank you. It is just a huge treat to be able to chat with you today.   Laura Dugger: (2:54 - 2:59) Well, will you begin by just first telling us a bit about yourself and the work that you get to do?   Jodie Berndt: (3:01 - 4:19) Sure. Yes. Well, like you, I have four children. Mine are grown now, though. I have three daughters and then a son at the end, and they're all adults and married and having kids of their own. I met my husband back when we were in college. We both went to the University of Virginia and got married right after college, kind of jumped into the whole marriage and family thing. By today's standards, it seems ridiculously young. I look back and I think I don't know what we were thinking. But as Robbie, my husband says, when you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start right now. And I think we both kind of felt that way. And so, we've been married now, I guess, nearly 38 years.   Your listeners may know that I write books. I write the Praying the Scriptures books. I've done others as well. But those are the ones that I am primarily focused on now. Praying the Scriptures for Your Children, your teens, your adult children, your life, because we needed ourselves too. And then most recently, Praying the Scriptures for Your Marriage. So, I never set out to become a prayer writer or even a book writer. But golly, I have realized the power of prayer and my desperate need for God's help in all things. So, I think it sort of fell backwards into it. And it's been a fun journey.   Laura Dugger: (4:20 - 4:37) Well, and I first encountered that book that you mentioned, Praying the Scriptures for Your Children, when I was a new mom, and it was so powerful. So, when you look back to that one, what are some of the stories or takeaways that really stand out from that resource?   Jodie Berndt: (4:38 - 9:31) Oh, gosh. Well, thank you for asking about that one. That was a book that was sort of born, as I said, out of my own need for the Lord, because nothing reveals your flaws and inadequacies and need for help beyond yourself as much as having children does. At least for me, that was the case. I'd grown up in a Christian home. Prayer was a natural part of life for me but not sort of the specific intentional prayers and not praying the scriptures.   And for anybody who doesn't know what that means, it just means taking the words that we read in the Bible, the things that God actually says to us there and using them to shape how we think about things, how we long for things, kind of creating our desires as based on what we read and then animating our prayers so that, as Jesus says in John 15, he looks at his disciples, he's getting ready to go to the cross, and you think of all the things he could have talked about. He chose to drill down on staying connected to him primarily through our prayers. He says, "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you want and it will be done for you." And then he explains why. He says, "This is to my Father's glory that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."   And I think I read that chapter in those specific verses, probably a hundred times over my life without fully comprehending what he was talking about there. And I think what he's talking about is that as we abide in him, as we remain in him, as we stay connected day in and day out, whether we're doing the laundry or running a carpool or anything else, we can allow the things we read in the Bible to shape our thoughts, shape our longings, and then give voice to our prayers. And when we do that, that really is the secret to living a difference-making, transformational, impactful life, to bearing fruit.   I loved being able to kind of look back over a 20-year history. And the stories in that book, in all my books, are real-life people who have real-life struggles and real-life prayers. And some of them have very happy endings. Some of them are still being played out. All of them represent times when we're having to trust God. And as I looked back over 20 years of praying parents and watched these families, where when I first was interviewing the mom or the dad, their kids might be five or seven or ten years old. And now, you know, these kids are in their 30s, some of them. And I'm like, wow, God, you know, it's like watching hair grow sometimes when we're praying and we don't see the needle moving. But with the perspective of history and time, you can see how God works. And so that was a huge blessing to me that I didn't expect when I went back and re-read the book and updated the book to be able to see what God has done.   And one particular chapter that I loved in that book was the chapter on praying for your child to promote God's kingdom. And there's a story in there about two little second grade boys, Brandon and Eddie. And I was part of a moms in prayer group at the time. And we were praying a verse, Ephesians 5:16, that our kids would make the most of every opportunity, that they would be wise in the way they live. We really didn't know how God would answer that prayer. But what parent doesn't want their child to be wise in the way they live and to make the most of the opportunities? Well, sure enough, we prayed that prayer. And two weeks later, one of the moms in our group came in and told the most jaw-droppingly beautiful story of how her son, a second grader, as part of an in-class assignment, had chosen to write a persuasive essay. And you can imagine what a second-grade essay looks like. But most of the kids in the class thought, I'm going to persuade my grandmother to give me a bicycle or I'm going to persuade my mom to let me stay up late and watch a TV show, whatever it is. This child chose to write to one of his classmates, who had been known as a real troublemaker in that class and in the school, about why he should accept Jesus as the Lord of his life. And he put these 10 points, things like, you know, God loves you. Jesus loves you. You can have anything you want in heaven. Just is a second grader's viewpoint. And I'm telling you what, I did that interview and wrote that story 20 some years ago. And still today, as I look back on that child and again, getting to watch him grow up, he's now a father with children of his own. And seeing how God has worked in that child's life in answer to that Ephesians 5 prayer that our child will be wise, making the most of every opportunity. I'm just dumbfounded. First, by how God answered that in a second grader's life and how he's continued to have the answer to that prayer unfold over this young man's life as he's grown. It's just we never can know when we pray what God will do.   Laura Dugger: (9:33 - 9:53) Absolutely. Because the fruit looks so different than the seed. And that's incredible to have that gift of perspective. But now with your newest title, Praying the Scriptures for Your Marriage, first of all, how do you even respond to someone if they ask you, why does prayer matter in marriage?   Jodie Berndt: (9:54 - 12:29) Yeah, well, that's actually a question that I get more than you would think. And especially from people who aren't super comfortable praying. Because a lot of us, even if we've grown up in church-going Christian homes, the idea of praying with our spouse just might not come naturally. And even for Robbie and me. But I'll tell you one of the reasons we want to do it is because prayer really does matter. As I jumped into writing this book, I started doing some research and secular research points to all of these benefits that it reinforces the idea of prayer does that you're on the same team. Psychologists have found that prayer increases a sense of satisfaction in your relationship. It heightens your own sense of emotional well-being. If you're mad, it gives you a chance to calm down. It can lower your blood pressure. And there have even been studies done that shows that when couples pray together, it even leads to better sex. And so, you get all of these things that are completely separate from maybe the spiritual side of why God would want us to pray. This is just the secular research.   But when you take it a step further and look at why God wants us to pray, oh, my goodness. You know, it opens the door to intimacy, both with ourselves and with the Lord, because honestly, it's being vulnerable, isn't it? When we pray, you know, that is asking God for help. That's acknowledging our dependence on him, admitting we can't always be kind or selfless or forgiving on our own. And, you know, I don't know any husbands or wives who can do those things because we're all inherently flawed. We're broken. We're selfish people. And we can kind of start to shrivel up under what pressure to just get it all right, you know, to be a good wife, to be a good husband. And we can feel like we're failing. And yet, when we realize that through prayer, we've got this vehicle of inviting God into the mix, into our relationship, of letting the Holy Spirit step in and do the things that only he can do to work in us, giving us, as Philippians 2:13 says, the desire and the power to do what pleases God. I mean, that just changes the equation. It removes the burden from our shoulders of trying to build a strong marriage or be a good husband or wife. And just says, God, you know what? I can't do this on my own. I need you. Our marriage needs you. And that just opens up the runway, I think, for us in marriages and really gives us a new intimacy and a new confidence in our relationships.   Laura Dugger: (12:30 - 12:45) Well, and Jodie, you did so much research on marriages in preparation for this book. So, what are some of the ancient truths from Scripture that stand out to you specifically as it relates to marriage?   Jodie Berndt: (12:45 - 16:24) I'll tell you, an ancient truth that runs throughout Scripture is God's desire for us to talk to him about all of the details of our lives. There's nothing too big or nothing too small for him to care about. And I know you shared with me that you loved the Isaiah 7:11 verse in The Message translation, which is when Ahaz and the Lord are talking together. And God says, ask anything, you know, be extravagant, ask for the moon. And that's God's invitation to us to ask big. But there are also verses in Scripture where it says, you know, he delights in the details of our lives. He bends down to listen. So, we really can talk to him about the smallest things.   And I'll tell you, in terms of what you term ancient truths, I would say, and your listeners, I'm sure, know this, that the Bible is kind of one big story of God's love for us. And the covenant of marriage really is designed to reflect that. You know, we say this in our marriage vows, but I've yet to meet a bride or groom who really knows what they're talking about when they say those vows. I know for Robbie and me, we were just starry eyed and in love and speaking these vows without even really thinking what it would mean for better, for worse, you know, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish all of those things. But I'll tell you what, marriage gives us a chance to live out the gospel every day in a million little ways.   I love what Tim Keller says about the gospel. He says the gospel is this. It's that we are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believe. And yet at the very same time, we are more loved and accepted in Jesus than we ever dared hope. And, you know, isn't that a picture of marriage? Because nothing reveals our flaws and our sins as much as taking two inherently selfish people and bringing them into close proximity with each other day in and day out. We are going to love against each other. We're going to be aware of our brokenness. Nobody knows my weak points as much as my husband. Nobody knows his as much as I do. So, we're so aware that we're flawed. And yet within the covenant of our marriage, we can honestly say, OK, we are more loved and accepted than we ever dared hope as we do what Christ did and give ourselves up for one another.   Ephesians 5, it's that classic New Testament passage about how human relationships are supposed to work. And Paul starts out, he says, Ephesians 5:2, "Walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." And you may blow by a verse like that because it sounds very theological and holy. And you think, OK, what does that really mean in my human relationships? And more specifically, what does that mean for our marriage? OK, walking in love, giving yourself up. It could be something as simple as getting out of bed to let the dog out so that your husband or your wife can sleep in. It may be going to the in-laws for dinner when everything in us wants to stay home because we know that's what our spouse longs to do. Anytime we choose to put our partner's needs and desires ahead of our own, that's partaking of the gospel. That is giving ourselves up for them as Jesus gave himself up for us. Even as we do that in the little decisions of our lives every day, we get to live out that gospel. And what a beautiful opportunity. So, if I had to take one ancient truth from all of scripture, it would be that the Bible is one big love story of God's love for us. And in our marriages every day, we can live that out in a million little decisions.   Laura Dugger: (16:26 - 16:50) Well, in your book, you open up about your journey of learning to listen to your husband instead of interrupting him. Oh, yeah. And just a crazy side note. I'm just going to quote you here where you write, the average person pays attention for about eight seconds and can only go 17 seconds before interrupting someone. 17 seconds.   Jodie Berndt: (16:50 - 19:53) Yes. I mean, I read that in my research. I think that was out of Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I think was the source there. But when I read that, I thought, oh, my goodness. A, that makes me just mortified. But B, it makes me feel better about myself because I am an interrupter. I always think that I have the answer, the solution or something that's going to be really either interesting to say or solving to say whatever it is. And I had to learn to give my husband space to speak because like a lot of men, I think he's not super verbose. He's not going to be letting his words tumble out. And so, I have to give space and time in our conversations for him to be able to get his words together instead of just leaping to a conclusion and saying, I know exactly what you mean or stepping in and trying to finish his sentence because he may have something that he's concerned about or worried about.   You know, I tell a story in the book, too, where when we taught a marriage class, we had to rate each other on all kinds of things, 20 different topics on a scale of like zero to four. I think it was. And he gave me a zero in meeting his emotional needs. And I thought zero, but that's not fair. I didn't even know you had emotional needs because you are such a steady, reliable, non-mercurial person. And I realized just because he's steady and not all over the map, doesn't mean he doesn't have fears and worries and concerns and emotional needs just like I do. I had to learn to kind of let him express those. And for his part, he had to learn to let me speak without immediately jumping in and wanting to fix something. I think men, a lot of our husbands are natural fixers. They love us. They want to solve our problems. They want to help us analyze what's wrong. And there have been times where I have had to just look at Robbie, sometimes even take a space in my hands and say, OK, I just want to tell you something. And I don't need you right off the bat to fix it. I just need to be heard. I need to know that you understand. So, will you just listen without trying to solve or analyze or fix and let me express myself, communicate? And that's been a really good listening tool. So so, between me trying to interrupt and him trying to solve and fix, we have really had to learn some some tools and some strategies that we talk about in the book for becoming better listeners.   And I think it only makes sense, right? We are not ever taught to listen or taught to speak. I've got grandchildren here and it's really fun to watch them at age one and two and three learn to mimic what we say when we say, can you say yes, please? Can you say, you know, I love you. And it's delightful to watch our children learn to form words. But nobody ever says to us, OK, let me teach you to listen. Let me teach you to wait. Let me teach you to reflect. Let me teach you to ask questions to help you understand more. All of those things may not come naturally to us. And so, there are things we have to be intentional in marriage and in every relationship about learning.   Laura Dugger: (19:54 - 20:07) Well, are there any of those game changing tools that you would like to elaborate on if someone really hasn't been trained to learn how to listen? Well, what has helped you and Robbie really listen and love?   Jodie Berndt: (20:07 - 22:13) Yeah, well, me not. Number one, expecting him to be a mind reader. I think sometimes we girls, because we intuit things, we think, oh, surely he'll pick this up. And I've had to learn that I need to really be clear in my communication. And just like I said earlier, you know, if I just want him to listen without fixing, I need to say that. And we've also had to learn things like I think sometimes listeners can try to reassure other people. We can minimize the problem saying, oh, it's going to be all right. You know, don't worry. That happened to me once, too. And while we might think we're doing someone a favor by that, what we're really doing is undermining their need to express themselves, to be heard, to say they really are afraid or concerned.   And so, I think a good listener doesn't just jump in immediately with the reassurance or another bad habit is deflecting, you know, saying, oh, yeah, that reminds me of the time I. And we think, oh, good, we're going to take their mind off the problem by telling them another story. And no, they don't maybe need to have their mind taken off it right then. What they might need right then is to know that they're being heard. Or even another bad habit that we had to learn to avoid is intellectualizing something or explaining something. You know, well, the reason it didn't go well for you at work today, honey, is that you probably started by just saying exactly what you felt without giving everybody else in the room a chance to speak or whatever it is. You know, we're going in trying to armchair quarterback our spouse's life by explaining and intellectualizing when, again, they just need to know we're listening, we're hearing, we're willing to be sympathetic and empathize, and we're willing to pray. And we don't have to have the answers.   We can say, gosh, that must be hard. You know, why don't we just stop right now and just say, God, we don't know what to do here. Just like Jehoshaphat had said, you know, he was facing vast armies. He said, God, I don't know what to do. We don't know what to do. But our eyes are on you. And we can say that in our marriage saying, I don't know how to help my spouse. We don't know what to do about this. But God, we're inviting you into this mix. And that's what a good listener can sound like. Sometimes you don't have to have all the answers.   Laura Dugger: (22:14 - 22:36) And I would even add, I guess it's part of the hope of this podcast, even, to ask really great questions. And our tagline is Practical Chats for Intentional Living. And the hope is that anyone listening would be inspired to also ask great questions and have their own practical chats for intentional living.   Jodie Berndt: (22:36 - 25:28) Yes, I love that you bring that up. Because in the book, there are questions at the end of every chapter. I didn't start out to write Praying the Scriptures for Your Marriage. But after these other four books came out, I kept hearing from people on Instagram or via my website saying, when are you going to write something about marriage? You know, I'm in this most important human relationship. And we are grating against each other. You know, we need God's help when it comes to knowing how to handle conflict, how to handle our finances, time with our in-laws, intimacy issues, or learning, as you and I have been talking here, how to talk well, how to listen well, how to communicate, how to make friends. You'd think that would come naturally, but sometimes it doesn't. And couples struggle to find people that they want to do life with.   So, all of these things, leaving our legacy, parenting, are things marriages want God to be involved in. And so, these are what the different chapters, the topics. And at the end of each one, there are questions that we can ask our spouse. You know, hit the pause button and say, you know, say it's the chapter on having fun together. We might get to the end of that chapter and say, what's something you'd like to do that might surprise me? Because we don't always know what our spouse's idea of relaxation or fun or laughter would look like. And so, the questions in there are designed to elicit conversation. And you know what? If your spouse isn't interested in talking to you about any of those things, you can talk to the Lord about them. You can open your journal, and you can just write things out. You can listen to God. So, the discussion starters are in there for husbands and wives to use together or for you to use in your own quiet times with the Lord.   And I'll tell you, this is the only book in the series that Robbie has really written with me. He read every word of every chapter before I would send it off to the editor. And time and again, he would come back to me, and he would say, Jodie, I don't think a husband's going to really know what you mean by that. Or I don't think you have dug deep enough on this one or been as helpful as you might be on that one. And that made it hard. I mean, talk about a chance to have conflict with your spouse, invite them to edit your book. But it was so valuable because it has created a resource where I think a wife might buy the book. But I really do think a husband now might be willing to pick up the book. And even if the husband's not digging deep into the stories of every chapter, any husband or any wife can pick it up. Pray the 10 or 12 verses at the end of each chapter or just pray one verse that seems to resonate. And then avail themselves of those discussion questions and conversation starters so that it can help communication both between husband and wife and between you and God. So, thank you for bringing up that part about questions, because that really is something we need to do more about in life. We can't ever know someone without asking those things.   Laura Dugger: (25:29 - 26:18) I agree. And so, we've covered now how listening is that one important ingredient in communication. But in addition, you write, it is still important to stay current with our spouse by also talking and sharing what's going on within and around us. And you write on page 49, The things we don't say can become wedges in our relationships. Communication involves two parts, talking and listening, and we need to be good at both. And Jodie, I think that you model a helpful way to think about this through something that you taught your children. So, will you share that illustration of serving the ball and hitting it back and how that applies to conversation?   Jodie Berndt: (26:18 - 29:16) That's so funny that you pulled that out. And its funny right now because I just read that in a very important intellectual article that showed up in my inbox from one of these institutes. I follow on family studies and different things. I thought that Robbie and I had invented this idea of serving the ball. Our son was an athlete and not much of a talker. And because he was an athlete all year round, he would go to different tournaments, different places. And I remember him being a young teen and not being super eager to engage in conversation. But because we had four kids and you can relate to this, we were not always taking our kids to all the different tournaments and activities. A lot of times they'd be riding in a car with another adult, another team dad or mom. And on one occasion, I remember popping him in the car with a friend of ours who was going to go meet a lacrosse team, you know, another state away. And we knew he'd be in the car for three or four hours. And we said, OK, you know, when Mr. So-and-so asks you a question, you can't just answer with one word, you know, like I'm good or yes, sir. We want you to hit the ball back. We want you to think of something that you can ask him. Think of a conversation. That's our son's name. We said, like you're in a game where the ball has to go back and forth, like say something to keep it in play. And for him, that was a real eye opener for how to learn to talk when he mostly knew how to hit balls back and forth.   And researchers noticed that couples who paid that attention, you know, if a spouse, if a husband said, hey, look at that bird. Isn't that a pretty bird? If the wife didn't even notice the bird, that planted a seed of contempt or indifference, coldness, the cold shoulder that could grow, whereas if the partner said, wow, gosh, that is a pretty bird, and, you know, that reminds me of the one we saw last week on our walk, and, I mean, that's a silly illustration, maybe noticing the bird, maybe it's a sunset, maybe it's saying, wow, this, you know, hamburger is really good, whatever it is, whatever the little tidbits of conversation, when we pick up, when we hit the ball back, when we pay attention and say, you know, yeah, that creates an interest in our spouse and a kindness.   Laura Dugger: (29:17 - 35:00) And now a brief message from our sponsor.   Did you know you can go to college tuition-free just by being a team member at Chick-fil-A East Peoria? Free college education. All Chick-fil-A East Peoria team members in good standing can take advantage of this incredible benefit. If you're looking for a workplace that invests in your future, Chick-fil-A East Peoria is the place for you. You don't have to go into debt for college. Visit Chick-fil-A.com/EastPeoria and click on the career tab. And if you aren't located near Chick-fil-A East Peoria, make sure you check with your local Chick-fil-A restaurant to see if they also participate.   Jodie Berndt: And I'll tell you, when I started doing the kindness research, I said to Robbie, do you think some people are just more naturally kind than others? And he said, yeah, I do. I think some people are just naturally more kind. And I think he's right, but I don't think you put a period there, because kindness is a fruit of the Spirit, right? Galatians 5:22 and 23, it does talk about how love, joy, peace, patience, and kindness is what the Holy Spirit does in our lives. And researchers have found that kindness actually works with them like a muscle. It gets stronger in our lives the more we commit to using it. And I love what folks at the National Marriage Project discovered. They discovered that when we are kind to our spouse with these simple things, you know, bringing them a cup of coffee in the morning, it doesn't even have to be super important, that creates an atmosphere in which generosity toward one another can flourish. And what it does is create an upward spiral. You know, we all talk about downward spirals and how we can just descend into contempt or coldness. We can also ascend. We can create that upward spiral through simple, small words and gestures that communicate kindness in marriage. And it can change the whole climate and allow intimacy and love to flourish.   And I will tell you what, Robbie and I are in the empty nest years, and we have friends who are in our same season, and a couple of couples in particular. For the last maybe four or five years have confided to us that they're not as kind to one another as they would like to be. Their marriage is strong. They're not getting a divorce, but their kids are raised, and they each have kind of their own lanes they're in, and they're in the empty nest, and they're recognizing that they just don't treat each other with the generosity and love in their words and in their actions that maybe they did when they were younger. And you would say, oh, what a shame. Except that it's not a shame because these couples have committed to praying about it and to inviting other couples who will keep that confidential into their lives to say, hey, will you pray this for us? And I will tell you what, we are seeing the needle move in our friends' lives. It is a beautiful thing to watch someone in their 60s who thinks, you know what, I'm just not that kind, actually begin to soften and change and be kind as the Holy Spirit goes to work. So, if you're listening and you're thinking, you know what, I'm just not that nice of a person. I'm just not that kind. Or my spouse, they've been kind of cool or cold all these years. Don't give up. Keep praying. Keep trying. Keep relying on the Holy Spirit. Invite other couples into the mix who can come alongside you and pray for you and even maybe hold you a little accountable saying, okay, you know, that word was maybe harsher than it needed to be. And watch what God can do. Kindness really matters.   Laura Dugger: (45:06 - 45:45) Yes, it does. And my husband, Mark, and I love to ask questions of couples who are in the next season of life. So, we have some friends at church who are empty nesters, and we've asked them similar questions around kindness. And it was really helpful that they said what really enhanced their marital satisfaction and enjoyment of one another in those years was their tone. And I thought that was a really practical application, just to be mindful of our tone. At any season, I think of us raising little ones as well to watch our tone with our kids and our spouse.   Jodie Berndt: (45:46 - 46:16) Yeah, absolutely. And even when we speak in a tone that might, you know, I believe me, can blurt something out and it comes out sounding snippier than I meant. And I have to recognize that and say, I know that came out like I was challenging you or that I was correcting you or whatever. I didn't mean it that way. That was a genuine question of, you know, do you think we should do this or that? And I'm sorry it sounded snippy. So, we have to be aware. And when those things slip out to quickly correct that and say, gosh, sorry, let me try that again.   Laura Dugger: (46:17 - 46:38) Yeah. And I guess it's reminded me of one other quote that was really helpful. On page 63, you shared that one husband was giving a really practical definition for respect. And he said, respect looks like paying attention when I am talking, even if you have better things to do.   Jodie Berndt: (46:39 - 48:11) Yeah, I remember that couple. And I'll tell you, this was a great illustration. I'm glad you brought that one up because this is a wife who loved her husband deeply, respected what he did, said good things about him publicly and in front of people. And she would think, well, so of course he knows I respect him. Like I just praised him in front of our small group, or I just told him what a great job I thought he did on that presentation or whatever he told me about from work. And she thought, so of course he knows I respect him, but he's watching their day in, day out encounters and realizing that like so many women, you know, we do five things, 10 things at once. And he's thinking, I don't even think you're paying attention to me because I'm over here talking and you know, you're cooking the dinner or checking something on your phone or whatever. And you're listening with kind of half an ear. And she had to learn that to him, respect meant stop what you're doing and pay attention to me. And of course we can't do that all the time. Like especially if we've got little kids and they're grabbing our legs and stuff, we might have to say, hold on. I really want to pay attention to what you're saying. Can you give me five minutes to, you know, get the child settled with a coloring book or put the baby to bed or get some food in this toddler, whatever it is, because this is important to me. And I want to pay attention. So sometimes when an important need for respect is, is happening, we have to just set the stage to reassure our partner that yeah, I love you. I want to listen. I want to pay attention. I want to respect you. Let me set it up so I can do that really well. So yeah, good one.   Laura Dugger: (48:12 - 48:17) Well, do you have any other favorite stories or lessons that stand out from your book?   Jodie Berndt: (48:18 - 51:06) Well, I think a big takeaway for me is the importance of community kind of at every stage. You know, the Bible says walk with the wise and become wise for a companion of fools suffers harm. You know, that's a proverb. And I think it's really true that we need to be intentional about who we surround ourselves with. Certainly, as we're starting out young in our marriages, there's going to be adjustment phases. Even the most well-suited couples come from two different families. And as we're trying to blend our expectations, our needs, our desires, our histories, they're going to be bumps along the way. And you want to be surrounded with couples who will be able to almost laugh with you and say, yeah, you know, we had that too. And let me just tell you, here's how we navigated that. Instead of somebody who will say, oh my gosh, my husband drives me just as crazy. Like literally, I had a running group one time where I realized that there was a lot of husband bashing going on in the early morning hours as we would get out on the street, you know, before the kids went to school. And I thought this isn't really healthy. We need to change the channel on this conversation. And so, you know, and sometimes that was doable by simply changing the topic of conversation or saying something positive or just saying, “Hey, let's all list three things we're grateful about, about our spouse.”   But I think how we surround ourselves with couples really makes a difference also in the empty nest years. And I think our friendships change. Robbie and I have had friends change significantly many times over the years. Sure. There are those people that we can look back on college roommates that we're still in touch with, and that's wonderful. But we have had cross country moves four times. We have had different seasons with our kids where all of our friends might be the ones we're on the bleachers with because we are seeing them two and three times a week and traveling on the weekends to games and things like that. And now we're in the empty nest years and our friends are starting to go visit grandkids. They are in retirement, some of them and traveling for fun. Others have taken up new hobbies, new volunteer commitments. So that landscape has shifted and we've had to say, all right, let's look for life giving people, be intentional about who we want to invite over to our house for dinner, who we'd like to co-chair a project with, something where we are constantly thinking about how we can surround ourselves with people who share our faith, who will sharpen us. Again, that proverb about iron sharpening iron, our friends really matter. We want to be around people who keep us sharp and who will be intentional about pouring into our marriages. So, you know, they say divorce is catching, and it really is. If you're in a community where people are just quick to give up or quick to bash their spouse, change that, change that in your life. Look for folks who are leaning in and helping one another love well.   Laura Dugger: (51:07 - 51:27) And I think you're very encouraging to those couples that are entering or in the midst of the empty nest phase of life. And you drew out a proverb that I'd never heard in The Message version in Proverbs 4:18, where it says the longer they live, the brighter they shine.   Jodie Berndt: (51:28 - 51:58) Yeah. Isn't that a great one? I mean, you could read Proverbs 4:18 and in the NIV and the ESV and the King James, all that. And it's always good. But boy, when I hit it in The Message, and I don't know, I might've seen it around my 50th birthday or something, but I thought the longer they live, the brighter they shine. Amen. God, I want to put that on my refrigerator. Just remind me that, you know, you don't necessarily have to have all the Botox to keep shining bright. You can just have the Holy Spirit living in you and through you animating your life and making you radiant. So yeah, I love that one. I'm glad you called that out.   Laura Dugger: (51:59 - 52:06) Yeah. Are there any other ways that you see that play out as people do start to navigate these empty nest years?   Jodie Berndt: (52:07 - 53:52) I think you can become kind of insular as you get older. If we weren't being intentional about trying to have new experiences, make some new friends, your world can start shrinking because maybe your responsibilities at work aren't as demanding. So, you have more time away from work or your kids are gone. So, you're not seeing all the friends that you've done life with all that time. So, emptiness can be a time of loneliness for couples. And it can be a time when you are thinking, gosh, I'm not as active or having as much fun. But we have a friend named Jim Burns. He's written a lot of books on marriage and family issues. And he writes, he says, who would have thought that the most intimate times in a marriage aren't necessarily in the first few years, but in the empty nest. And he and his wife have navigated this transition so successfully. And I think it's in large part because they have been intentional about having fun together, about trying new things. And another couple, I know Susan and Johnny Yates, they're in their seventies. And they were like, Hey, we've never gone snowmobiling. You want to try it? Yeah, let's try it. And I just think, you know, the more we're willing to get out there and try new experiences, a new place to visit, it might even be as simple as a restaurant we've never been to, but just kind of ensuring that your world stays bigger, your friend groups stay bigger, and that you can be leaning into the fact that, you know, I think about Job where it says, God blessed the latter part of Job's life more than the former. And there is a real, a real beauty to knowing that you have a lot of runway left when you hit the empty nest years and asking God, how do you want to use me in my family, in my church, in my community, and being open to the things he puts in front of you?   Laura Dugger: (53:53 - 54:02) I love that. And Jodie, you are just such an encourager. So where can we go online to learn more from you after this conversation?   Jodie Berndt: (54:03 - 55:19) Thank you for asking that. My website is jodieberndt.com. And I would really encourage people to check that out and kind of scroll around. There's an area called resources and printables where there's a lot of free stuff like 31-day prayer calendars. You can download and print to help you pray for your marriage, a verse every day, or pray for your children or your adult children, your teens, your life, all of those calendars are on there, as well as little prayer cards, things you can tuck into your kid's lunchbox or leave on their bedside table. If you have a teenager who maybe would roll their eyes, you know, if you want to walk in there and say goodnight prayers, you might say, well, you know what? I'm just going to leave this little thing on their pillow, so they know that mom or dad is praying. And again, even if they're acting like they don't want it, I've never yet met a teen, my own included, who used to sometimes roll their eyes who will now tell me, you know what mom? I really was listening. I really did appreciate that. So, a little hang in there strategy, but yes, at jodieberndt.com all those resources. And then I'm pretty active on Instagram and that's just @jodie_berndt. So, if people want to follow there, I love to share different prayer prompts or encouragements. People can DM me with questions and it's just a fun way to, to make friends in a digital way that you might not ever be able to see someone in real life, but we can all learn from each other.   Laura Dugger: (55:19 - 55:40) Well, we will add links to all of those places in the show notes for today's episode. And you may already be familiar that we're called The Savvy Sauce because yes, I love it. I love it. And savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for you today, Jodie, what is your savvy sauce?   Jodie Berndt: (55:41 - 57:21) That is such a great question. I love that you asked all your guests that I think for me, this might sound boring or even holier than thou, but I don't mean it that way. For me, a scripture is my savvy sauce. Like I turn to the Bible for my answers. I turn to it to shape my prayers. Like I can be so given to worry about something. I can just naturally go to a place of panic or uncertainty. And yet in the pages of scripture, I find promises that I can hold on to in a way that I can exchange my panic for peace and just trust God's provision. And the circumstances might not have changed, but what has changed as I lean into the Lord and read of his faithfulness in the past, they can help me trust for the future and it doesn't have to be this long. Like the other thing is there was a time when I thought, oh gosh, if I don't spend a half an hour, an hour, you know, reading my Bible with a candle smelling up the room and a nice cup of coffee and my journal open, it's not going to count. And I really, especially when I had younger children, it was so beautiful. An older woman, older mother set me straight. She said, Jodie, you know, you can talk to God in the carpool line. You can read three verses of scripture and meditate on those during the day. That may be more transformational than reading an entire book of the Bible and just having permission to take that in small bites, especially if you've got little ones. I think that is a great savvy sauce. Just find yourself a verse or two, hold onto it, write it out on an index card and meditate on it during the day and see what it does.   Laura Dugger: (57:22 - 57:43) That is so good. And going back to what we had talked about earlier, I experienced so much kindness in you and have really enjoyed this conversation and appreciate all that you've brought to encourage marriages. And I'm wondering if you would just close us out now with a prayer over all the marriages that are represented right now.   Jodie Berndt: (57:44 - 59:43) Oh, I would be so honored to do that. And right back at you. I mean, you're just, your voice is so very kind and welcoming. I just know your listeners love tuning in because it's like,  just having a conversation with a dear friend. So, thank you for that. But I would love, love, love to pray.   Heavenly Father, I just thank you so much for this conversation. I thank you so much for every marriage, every household represented as folks who are listening. And I just want to pray that prayer that I think I start the book with because it just jumps out at me day in and day out from 1 Thessalonians 3:12, "May our love overflow and increase for each other and for everyone else." That's something that Paul prayed for the Thessalonians. And I just want to pray it over all of our marriages, over all of our lives, over our parenting, that our love would increase, that it would overflow for one another, for our families, for our communities. And that that would be the sign that people can look at and say, you know, that as that old song says, they'll know we are Christians by our love. And it is so true in the way that we love one another, in the way that we are kind to one another. That just speaks volumes, Lord, about your love for us. I pray that we really would, as Paul writes in Ephesians, make the most of every opportunity. I pray we would live lives marked with wisdom, that we would, as he goes on in that same chapter, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Let our marriages, let our families, let our friendships be marked by that mutual submission, by that desire to not look just to our own interests, but to the interests of others, just being humble, God. Let us live humble lives, glorifying you, looking out for one another, and growing in the knowledge and grace of your son, Jesus Christ. It's in his name we pray. Amen.   Laura Dugger: (59:44 - 59:47) Amen, Jodie. Thank you so much for being my guest.   Jodie Berndt: (59:47 - 59:55) Laura, thank you so much, and Lord bless you in the work that you are doing to just equip and encourage so many. It's just wonderful.   Laura Dugger: (59:55 - 1:03:39) Thank you. One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Power, capital, and influence can shape the trajectory of a woman's career and business. But how do women negotiate for all three while staying true to their values and vision? In this episode, Cindy Watson and Lindsay Nahmiache explore the strategies behind building influence, accessing capital, and negotiating power in today's business world.   Lindsay Nahmiache is a multi-award-winning entrepreneur, investor, and strategist whose private-equity-inspired approach to marketing has helped grow hundreds of iconic brands over the past 16 years, including Virgin Radio, Meow Wolf, Designer Shoe Warehouse, Molson Coors, and many more.   Together, Cindy and Lindsay unpack the realities of negotiating as a woman in business—from understanding your value and leveraging influence to navigating capital, strategic relationships, leadership, and opportunities for growth. They explore how women can approach negotiation with greater confidence, clarity, and intention while building the power and influence needed to create meaningful business success.   Whether you're an entrepreneur, executive, investor, or woman looking to expand your professional influence, this conversation offers valuable insights into women's leadership, business negotiation, financial power, strategic influence, and building capital for long-term success.   In this episode, you will learn:   Where does hesitation show up the most? Why is it a discomfort? Why women are more likely to under negotiate? And do women negotiate the wrong things? The biggest mistake that founders make when they're asking for capital? How to confidently negotiate valuation, equity, and terms without overreaching? What are the critical negotiation moments that most people underestimate? And many more!   Learn more about Lindsay:   Website: https://veriphyskincare.com/ Website: https://jiveprdigital.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lindsaynahmiache   If you're looking to up-level your negotiation skills, I have everything from online to group to my signature one-on-one mastermind & VIP experiences available to help you better leverage your innate power to get more of what you want and deserve in life. Check out our website at www.artofFeminineNegotiation.com if that sounds interesting to you.   Get Cindy's book here: Amazon   https://www.amazon.com/Art-Feminine-Negotiation-Boardroom-Bedroom-ebook/dp/B0B8KPCYZP?inf_contact_key=94d07c699eea186d2adfbddfef6fb9e2&inf_contact_key=013613337189d4d12be8d2bca3c26821680f8914173f9191b1c0223e68310bb1 EBook   https://www.amazon.com/Art-Feminine-Negotiation-Boardroom-Bedroom-ebook/dp/B0B8KPCYZP?inf_contact_key=94d07c699eea186d2adfbddfef6fb9e2&inf_contact_key=013613337189d4d12be8d2bca3c26821680f8914173f9191b1c0223e68310bb1 Barnes and Noble   https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-art-of-feminine-negotiation-cindy-watson/1141499614?ean=9781631959776   CONNECT WITH CINDY: Website: www.womenonpurpose.ca Website: www.practicingwithpurpose.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/womenonpurposecommunity/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenonpurposecoaching/ LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/thecindywatson Show: https://www.womenonpurpose.ca/media/podcast-2/ X(Twitter):  https://twitter.com/womenonpurpose1 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@hersuasion Email: cindy@womenonpurpose.ca  

Chris Anderson sits down in the studio with Michael J. López, an organizational change consultant, keynote speaker, LinkedIn Top Voice, and author of Change: Six Science-Backed Strategies to Transform Your Brain, Body, and Behavior. Michael spent more than a decade at Big Four firms leading transformation programs, played college football, and started his own company at 50 with his wife five months pregnant. He is 53 now, with one-year-old twins. This one is for the man who sets the same goal every January and quits it every February. Michael says the problem is not your willpower. Your brain has one job, to keep you alive, and it does that by predicting what happens next and steering you toward whatever is easiest. Every hard thing you try to do fights that. So you need a different relationship with effort, and you need to write your goals differently. In this episode: - Your brain is a prediction machine, and why that gap is what stops you - Quitters Day, and why motivation runs out in the third week - Too many goals at once, and why the adult brain can only chase one - Nouns versus verbs, the single shift that keeps you going - Dopamine without effort is dangerous - A habit is the opposite of change - The "I don't want to do this" voice, and why it is the signal to go - Getting kicked out the door at 50, and the best and hardest year of his life - Why do you think you're done? Stagnant means not improving. - Seven figures and hate your life, or six figures and home with your babies - Emotions are waves. Turn and face them. - The 12 hour rule. Move forward, not on. - Failure is what rewires your brain. Never the same mistake twice. - Read a book, turn a page, and do not let the AI easy button do your thinking - The Upgraded Man Journal, answering Andrew Menechian and leaving a question for the next guest Find Michael at michaeljlopez.coach. His book Change is on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and audiobook. He is on LinkedIn and Instagram at michaeljlopez9, and he hosts the Top Voice Podcast every Tuesday. If you have quit the same goal more than once, this one is for you. Follow the show, and send this to a man who keeps saying "I'm starting Monday." This episode may or may not be sponsored. Some product links are affiliate links, meaning we'll receive a small commission if you buy something.===========================⚡️ PODCAST: Subscribe and listen on all major platforms⚡️ Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Apply here ➡ https://upgraded-man.com/guest⚡️ For support or business inquiries, email us ➡ chris@upgraded-man.com Our mission at The Upgraded Man is simple — help men upgrade every area of their life through real conversations, honest stories, and actionable insight from men who have done the work.Want to be a guest on The Upgraded Man? Send Chris Anderson a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/upgradedmanpodcast The content on The Upgraded Man is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not constitute professional legal, financial, medical, or therapeutic advice. Always consult a qualified professional before making decisions based on information discussed on this podcast. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A little over 2 years have passed, and author Carolina Cardona returns to the podcast. It doesn't feel that long, as its been a pleasure seeing what Carolina had been doing since we last talked. We get to catch up and talk about what the past 2 years have looked like for Carolina. From her novel, Andujar: The Robot Gentleman of San Juan being translated into Spanish, as well as being taught as part of the curriculum in a course at the University of Puerto Rico. Imagine my surprise when the person who loves robots drops a bombshell that she was working on a novel set in the 14th century involving plague doctors and a 9 year old nun. Carolina and I talk about "The Plague Doctor & The Littlest Sister", which was released online and available for free via HoneyFeed (link below!). We talk about the novel that she calls a cozy fantasy during the time of the Black Death, and what you can find with 3 plague doctors, the 9 year old nun, a disgraced Templar Knight, and the mysteries happening around them. We then wrap up by talking about what she's working on for the future, what you can expect, and so much more! You can read The Plague Doctor & The Littlest Sister here: https://www.honeyfeed.fm/novels/33517 You can find Andújar: The Robot Gentleman of San Juan at Amazon, Kindle Unlimited, Barnes and Noble, and Ingram Spark. https://amzn.to/4aTlhUq You can find Carolina at: https://www.carolinacardona.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thetropicaleccentric/ https://www.threads.net/@thetropicaleccentric You can listen to Carolina's first episode here:  https://talesfromthefandom.libsyn.com/episode-364-carolina-cardona-aka-thetropicaleccentric-talks-anime-japan-and-her-work-as-an-author

In this week's episode, I take a look at the characters of Rhamnousia and Zelos Pendragon in BLADE OF VISIONS, and what they say about bad leadership. This coupon code will get you 50% off the audiobook of Ghost in the Forge, Book #6 in The Ghosts series, (as excellently narrated by Hollis McCarthy) at my Payhip store: FALLFORGE The coupon code is valid through October 12, 2026. So if you need a new audiobook this fall, we've got you covered! TRANSCRIPT 00:00:00 Introduction and Writing Updates Hello, everyone. Welcome to Episode 322 of The Pulp Writer Show. My name is Jonathan Moeller. Today is September the 25th, 2026 and today we are discussing my new book, Blade of Visions, and how it portrays bad leadership in the character of Rhamnousia Pendragon. Before we get to that, we will have Coupon of the Week and a progress update on my current writing, publishing, and audiobook projects. So let's start off with Coupon of the Week. This week's coupon code will get you 50% off the audiobook of Ghost in the Forge, Book #6 in The Ghosts Series (as excellently narrated by Hollis McCarthy) at my Payhip store. That coupon code is FALLFORGE. As always, you can get the coupon code and the links to my Payhip store in the episode notes for this episode. This coupon code will be valid through October the 12th, 2026, so if you are in need of a new audiobook for this fall, we have got you covered. Now let's have an update on my current writing, publishing, and audiobook projects. As you might guess from the episode title, Blade of Visions is now out and you get it at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Google Play, Apple Books, Smashwords, bookshop.org, and my own Payhip store. Initial response to it has been very strong and people seem to be enjoying it. As I mention later in the episode, I even had someone email me and say it was one of my top 10 books, which is pretty impressive out of 176 books. So thank you all for that. Now that Blade of Visions is out, my next main project is Elven-Warlock, which will be the seventh book in the Half-Elven Thief series. I'm currently 36,000 words into it, hoping to get to 40,000 by the end of the day, if all goes well. I'm hoping this will be out towards the end of October, if all goes well. My secondary project will be the follow-up to Blade of Visions, which will be the seventh book in the Blades of Ruin series, specifically Blade of Rifts. I am 3,000 words into that. So that's my secondary project right now. Once Elven-Warlock is finished, it'll be full speed ahead on Blade of Rifts. In audiobook news, we are very nearly done with Cloak of Summoning, which is narrated by Hollis McCarthy. So hopefully we will have that available to you all to listen to sometime in October along with Ghost Armor Omnibus Two, which I'm going to start setting up before too much longer and if all goes well, Brad Wills will start recording Blade of Visions as an audiobook next week. So that is where I'm at with my current writing, audiobook, and publishing projects. 00:02:34 Main Topic: Rhamnousia Pendragon and Bad Leadership Now let's move on to our main topic this week, which is Blade of Visions, Rhamnousia Pendragon, and Bad Leadership. As I mentioned earlier in the episode, a surprising number of people have written in to say nice things about Blade of Visions, for which I'm grateful. As I mentioned, a few have even said someone my best books, which is also very nice. And I think the character of Rhamnousia Pendragon helped a great deal to inspire that reaction along with the fundamental problem many people, organizations, and indeed societies face: where do we find good leaders? As I've mentioned before, I based Rhamnousia and Zelos Pendragon off two historical bad leaders, specifically Empress Maude and King Stephen from the English civil war of 1138 AD through 1153 AD. I say "loosely based" because Rhamnousia and Zelos are half siblings while Maude and Steven were cousins. For that matter, as the Blade of Ruin series has gone on, Rhamnousia's and Zelos' respective characterizations have taken on a life of their own that increasingly diverges from the source material. To be fair to Maud and Stephen, unlike Rhamnousia and Zelos, they did not have disguised evil sorcerers actively giving them deliberately bad advice. For Rhamnousia, I basically thought of all the worst traits from the incompetent female managers and leaders I've encountered over the years, combined them into one character, made her both extremely intelligent and highly vindictive, and we ended up with Rhamnousia Pendragon. This isn't to say that women cannot be effective leaders. Many thousands of years ago (or so it feels) when I worked in big box retail, I devised a metric that turned out to be highly effective for gauging whether a new manager, whether male or female, would be competent or not. The metric: the more boring the manager is in the first meeting, the better he or she will be at the job. The boring ones who introduced themselves and immediately got down to business without a lot of chit-chat were invariably the best ones at their jobs. The ones who spent a lot of time talking about their feelings, their kids, their visions, their ex-spouses or whatever tended to be really bad or the ones who were really jokey, wanted to be liked or worse, insistent that you like them. A secondary metric is whether or not they were willing to get their hands dirty. Like the best store manager I ever encountered in my big box retail career helped unload trucks, stock shelves, run registers, and even cleaned the bathrooms himself a few times. They say one of the best guiding principles for effective leadership is to never ask someone to do something that you would not be willing to do yourself, and he followed that guideline quite well. Granted, he had excellent motivations for doing this. I believe one year the store did well enough that he got a $90,000 bonus, which was in pre-9/11 money, which would be around about $175,000 in 2026 money. However, his level of competence was definitely the exception and absolutely not the rule. One of his predecessors as big box store manager was fired and later prosecuted for a variety of excellent reasons, including giving away lots of merchandise to local restaurants in exchange for free meals for himself and what gossip called "getting handsy" with some of the female employees in the office, but what the police more accurately called assault. Apparently he forgot that every single inch of big box store was covered in cameras which kept recordings. Another predecessor was a very friendly and affable man, but utterly unable to assert himself without having an emotional breakdown and consequently let people walk all over him to the detriment of his job. He eventually quit due to the stress. Based on these and many other examples I've encountered, I think Rhamnousia and Zelos are very realistic characters. I'm afraid that in real life leaders like Rhamnousia Pendragon and Zelos Pendragon are very common and bad leaders, whether men or women, are more normal than good or even competent ones. In 2023, I knew an entire cluster of people who quit healthcare and education, not because they disliked the admittedly difficult work, but because their managers were so inept and malicious that they made the working environment unendurable. No doubt you can think of numerous examples from your own life. Anyway, Zelos Pendragon is a much different mode of leadership failure than Rhamnousia. He's a bit more like the store manager I mentioned earlier who wanted to be liked. Zelos is a much more amiable person than Rhamnousia and much less arrogant. However, he really wants to be liked, isn't terribly clever, and he's not firm in his decisions and changes his mind frequently. Despite being more likable than Rhamnousia, he is nonetheless a terrible leader, just for different reasons. By contrast, Rhamnousia Pendragon doesn't want to be liked. She demands to be respected and obeyed. She's far more interested in enforcing the rights and prerogatives of her royal dignity. Admittedly, these qualities are actually necessary to be an effective monarch, but Rhamnousia also has a fatal talent for alienating her allies through arrogance and enjoys humiliating people in public. This is all the worse because she's very intelligent, which means in practice she finds better ways at shooting herself in the foot since she doesn't have anyone to moderate her bad decisions. If you've read the rest of my books, you know that good leadership versus bad leadership is an ongoing interest of mine. I think it's tied to my interest in history. That would be a recurring theme in Frostborn and Sevenfold Sword and Dragontiarna and The Shield War, obviously now in Blades of Ruin, in Ghost Night and Ghost Armor, and increasingly in the Cloak Mage series where I think about the questions of good leadership versus bad leadership. It's strange how someone can be an absolutely terrible person yet somehow be a good leader, but yet that's not an infallible metric because very often terrible people often turn out to be terrible leaders. For that matter, good people likewise fail at leadership a great deal. To get things done, you often have to crack some heads together, stomp on people's personal petty fiefdoms, or employ outright coercion to get people to act, do this or you're fired and a lot of people just don't like doing that. There seems to be some sort of very narrow and very elusive overlap between the attributes of personal ruthlessness, ambition, and willingness to act in the greater good that creates an effective leader, and that combination is very rare. To be fair, however, from the other side of it, leadership is an unpleasant gig. If something goes wrong, it's the leader's fault. If something goes right, your employees and workers take the credit (or perhaps your superiors), and you just happened to be there for it and had nothing to do with it. People constantly try to undermine you and sabotage you, and even well-meaning workers, employees will sometimes interpret your instructions in baffling and inexplicable ways. The sloth, ineptitude, entitlement, and overall bungling and competence of your subordinates will be constant challenge and headache. This is true in leadership positions ranging from Fortune 500 CEOs all the way to the directors of charity thrift shops who only work with volunteers. Given all that, it's not the least surprising that many leaders default to an attitude of "screw you guys" and try to extract maximum enrichment and advancement from the situation regardless of the damage that it does. But no less of an authority than Jesus Christ said that to whom much is given, much will be expected. (Luke 12:48 is the specific quote if you're interested.) I suppose in the end, bad leadership is not a problem that has a solution or even a question that has an answer. It's just one of those unsolvable aspects of human nature that we think about and that we simply have to live with. But on the plus side, I can get some pretty good novel plots out of it. I've often said that history is an excellent source of inspiration for fantasy writers, and I think this provides yet another example of what I mean. So that's it for this week. Thank you for listening to The Pulp Writer Show. I hope you found the show useful. A reminder that you can listen to all the back episodes on https://thepulpwritershow.com. If you enjoyed the podcast, please leave a review on your podcasting platform of choice. Stay safe and stay healthy and we'll see you all next week.  

Main content starts at 26:40.The final learning difficulty I want to examine in my investigation is Dyscalculia. This was the final type of learning difficulty that I could have been assessed for in my Specific Learning Difficulty Assessment in December 2024 and I am not too familiar with the condition. Yet I know it impacts a lot of people, it is sometimes called “maths anxiety” and where dyslexia focuses on reading difficulties, Dyscalculia is all about number difficulties. Therefore, in this clinical psychology podcast episode, you'll learn what is Dyscalculia, what are the symptoms of the condition, how is Dyscalculia treated and so much more. If you enjoy learning about clinical psychology, cognitive psychology and applied psychology, then you're in for a treat.In the psychology news section, you'll learn about whether movement can provide a window into mental health, substance abuse appears higher amongst those with health anxiety, and shame linked to voice hearers' perceived standing against their voices.LISTEN NOW!If you want to support the podcast, please check out:FREE AND EXCLUSIVE 8 PSYCHOLOGY BOOK BOXSET- https://www.subscribepage.io/psychologyboxsetWhat are Learning Disabilities? A Clinical Psychology Guide to the Causes, Treatments and Types of Learning Difficulties and Disabilities- https://www.connorwhiteley.net/what-are-learning-disabilities Available from all major eBook retailers and you can order the paperback and hardback copies from Amazon, your local bookstore and local library, if you request it. Also available as an AI-narrated audiobook from selected audiobook platforms and libraries systems. For example, Kobo, Spotify, Barnes and Noble, Google Play, Overdrive, Baker and Taylor and Bibliotheca. Patreon- patreon.com/ThePsychologyWorldPodcast#dyscalculia #learningdifficulty #learningdisability #learningdisabilities #learningdisabilityawareness #clinicalpsychology #mentalhealth #clinicalmentalhealth #clinicalpsychologist #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthadvocate #psychology #psychology_facts #psychologyfacts #psychologyfact #psychologystudent #psychologystudents #podcast #podcasts

Steve Gorman's drumming helped put The Black Crowes on the radio. These days, he's the one behind the microphone. Long before the band sold millions of records, Steve planned to become a broadcaster. He studied broadcast journalism in college and dreamed of working in sports. Then he borrowed a drum kit, dropped out of school, moved to Atlanta and joined the band that would become The Black Crowes. He owned his first kit for a matter of weeks when he recorded a demo with them. The band's rise was extraordinary. So were the years that followed. Steve played some of rock's biggest stages, toured with Jimmy Page, and watched the relationships within The Black Crowes grow increasingly difficult. While he was still touring, he began sitting in on a friend's sports radio show in Nashville. A few guest appearances later, he got a show of his own. His first night on air was rough. He kept at it anyway. His local sports show grew into a national show on Fox Sports Radio, followed by the syndicated Steve Gorman Rocks. Today, he hosts Gorman in the Morning on Minneapolis station KQRS. In this episode, Steve tells the unlikely story of becoming a rock drummer after barely playing a kit as a teenager, what it was like to leave The Black Crowes, and how a career he imagined before music became his second act. He also explains why being underestimated as "the drummer" helped him get started in radio but couldn't carry him for long. For more of Steve's fascinating stories from his years with The Black Crowes, order his book, Hard to Handle: The Life and Death of the Black Crowes, from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or wherever you buy books. ******* If you enjoy Second Act Stories, please leave us a review here. We may read your review on a future episode! Subscribe to the Second Act stories Substack. Check out the Second Act Stories YouTube channel. Follow Second Act Stories on social media: Facebook LinkedIn Instagram Second Act Stories theme music: "Between 1 and 3 am" by Echoes.

What if the one thing you've spent your career building, your expertise, is about to become the least valuable thing you own? In this episode of Leveraging Thought Leadership, Peter Winick sits down with Jack Myers, a media ecologist, futurist, and author of Your Third Brain: Powering a Future of Unimagined Possibilities. Jack launched The Myers Report as a fax newsletter in 1984, founded MediaVillage, and has spent decades watching each new medium reshape the people who use it. The two have known each other for more than ten years. Peter's focus is how to scale, leverage, and monetize ideas; Jack's is the humanity behind them. Jack's argument starts with a simple observation: distribution and content creation are now commodities. When anyone can publish anywhere and AI can replicate knowledge on demand, information stops being the product. Citing his NYU mentor Neil Postman, he calls information a form of garbage and predicts that expertise alone will carry almost no commercial value within a few years. What AI can't replace, he says, is lived experience, ethical judgment, empathy, intuition, and trust. Peter pushes back with the other side of that coin. Today's AI is the worst it will ever be, but there's a flip side: laziness and AI slop that quietly burn through the trust a brand has spent years building. His litmus test is simple. If a semi-intelligent reader can tell, you've failed. Jack's answer centers on discernment and on the consistent, original, deeply human work that makes an audience show up in the first place. The conversation also covers why Jack wrote another book in a market flooded with them, what he means by the "third brain," techno-intelligence, and techno-intuition, and why he calls this moment a potential spiritual awakening without meaning anything religious. Jack also shares the advice he gave a young Newhouse graduate that very morning: build a career on relationships, not a resume. For authors, speakers, consultants, and executives wondering where their ideas hold value as AI gets faster, this episode is worth the time. Three Key Takeaways: • Information and expertise are being commoditized. With distribution and content creation available to everyone, and AI able to replicate knowledge on demand, expertise alone no longer differentiates you. Jack expects its commercial value to shrink fast. • Judgment, discernment, and trust are the new premium. AI can't replicate lived experience, ethical judgment, empathy, or intuition. The thought leaders who break through will lead with who they are, not only what they know. • Relationships beat reach. Originality, consistency, and genuine human connection build the trust that keeps an audience coming back. Follower counts and content volume can't deliver that, and AI can't do it consistently. Jack Myers makes the case that expertise alone is no longer enough, and that the leaders who stand out will be the ones who know how to turn their ideas into visible, trusted impact. That is the problem Peter Winick set out to solve with co-authors Bill Sherman and Naren Aryal in The Thought Leadership Handbook: How the Experts Elevate Their Big Ideas, and How You Can Too. The book draws on more than 700 conversations from this podcast, distilling the patterns behind how ideas get built, scaled, and monetized into frameworks you can apply to your own work. Learn more at thoughtleadershiphandbook.com, then order your copy today from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, or Amplify Publishing.

It's a brick and mortar book shop that is surprisingly busy for 2026 and the in-store Starbucks probably won't take your gift card. So we wrote about it. 

What is chemo really like? Registered nurse Mary Ghosh spent her career caring for patients. Then, at 41, her second mammogram found a 1.6 cm mass, and she became the patient herself. She was diagnosed with stage 1 triple negative breast cancer and spent six months in the chemo chair. Mary didn't pretend it was fine. She told the truth: the fear, the fatigue, the hair loss, the steroid mood swings, the nerve pain, and all the strange little things nobody warns you about. She told it with humor, and she told it with a playlist. That became her book, Chemo Boogers: A Music-Fueled Memoir of Humor and Hope in the Chaos of Cancer. If you're about to start chemo, you love someone who's in it right now, or you just need proof that laughter still belongs in hard places, this one's for you. In this episode, we talk about: Getting a triple negative breast cancer diagnosis at 41 from just her second mammogram Why Mary is so passionate about mammograms and early detection Going from nurse to patient, and why she wanted to hear from people who had actually been through it Neoadjuvant chemo (chemo before surgery), the Red Devil, Taxol, and steroid side effects Why "day three" was always the hardest, and how she tracked her good and bad days How music became therapy, from Johnny Cash on the hard days to Flight of the Bumblebee on Taxol days How every chapter of her book pairs with a song, plus journal prompts to build your own chemo playlist The story behind the title Chemo Boogers Using humor to get through the hardest seasons of life and marriage The confusing "after," and how writing a book gave her purpose after treatment The best gift to give someone who's about to start chemo Mary's advice for anyone newly diagnosed: take a breath, you have a little time, and don't be afraid to reach out Get Mary's book, Chemo Boogers: Amazon: https://a.co/d/0giNPJYf  Also available at Barnes & Noble and wherever books are sold. Mary's chemo playlist on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Pio6P00VwHmCD6VgWRCwq?si=zOT4L1sDQxCMImfRKe_nwg&utm_source=sms&pi=iXgwbhe8S76mV Follow Mary: Instagram: @chemo_candor TikTok: @chemo_candor A word from our sponsor: the Perga Core 4 Feeling like your energy has been hijacked since treatment? The Core 4 is my daily mitochondrial support system: CoreFlow and CoreBlue in the morning, and CoreGreen and CoreRed at night. All four are third-party tested and GMP verified. Grab yours here: https://pergainc.com/en-us/jendelvaux/pages/product-page  Connect with Jen: Instagram: @https://www.instagram.com/jendelvaux/ jendelvaux.com Email: coachjennyd@gmail.com If this episode helped you, please share it. You never know who's sitting alone right now, about to start chemo, and needs to hear Mary's story. And as always, not today, cancer.

•Will Harris is a renowned singer, songwriter, musician, recording artist and author. A native of Oxford, Mississippi, Harris began singing and playing piano in church at an early age. He presently serves as the Director of Music and Arts at the Historic Metropolitan Baptist Church in Largo, Maryland where he leads the music and art ministries providing meaningful experiences that enhance the worship services,and deepen connections with God through the arts. •In 2013, Harris founded his award-winning recording choir “Will Harris and Friends,” a Global Music Ministry comprised ofMusic Educators, Worship Leaders, and Psalmists from the community of Fayetteville and singers from across the United States.  •Will Harris has composed and performed his music nationally and internationally with The Gospel Music Workshop ofAmerica, The Hampton Ministers Conference, and The National Convention of Gospel Choirs and Choruses. Harris is a multi-award-winning gospel recording artist and the 2022 Dunamis Gospel Award Music of Excellence Recipient.   Will Harris has also performed in several musicals, including The Color Purple, Jelly's Last Jam, and Lillies of the Field. •Harris holds a Bachelor's Degree in Vocal Music from Rust College, a Master's Degree in Education from The University ofPhoenix, and an Honorary Doctorate Degree from the School of the Great Commission Theological Seminary.•Dr. Harris's latest project is the release of his autobiography titled “Taylor Made,” a narrative crafted with resilience, dedicated to dreamers everywhere who strive to make their visions a reality. Taylor Made is available for purchase by visiting www.willharrismusic.com or through Amazon or Barnes and Noble. His latest book is "Music Ministry Unplugged:Real Lessons for Those who Lead and Serve in Music Ministry"•The latest single / EP release “Celebrate Life (Feat. Alana McMillian“ is available on all digital outlets•LET'S TALK: GOSPEL MUSIC GOLD RADIO SHOW AIRS EVERY SATURDAY on WJRG RADIO INTERNET RADIO STATION 12:00 PM EST/ 11:00 AM CST •There is a Let's Talk: Gospel Music Gold Facebookpage ( @LetsTalk2GMG ) where all episodes are posted .   •The Podcast and Radio shows are heard anywhere in theWorld on the Internet!•ANSONIA'S BOOK RELEASES•"If We Can Do It, You Can Too!“•“Legacy of James C. Chambers And his Contributions to Gospel Music History”•Winner of 2026 MiPA Award "Molding a Black Princess"Order Information https://www.unsungvoicesbooks.com/asmithgibbs

Oral Sex, Frequency, Desire, and Other Topics Couples Negotiate in Marriage: An Interview with Dr. Michael Sytsma (Episode 300)   *Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.*   Deuteronomy 30:19 + 20 “This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live 20and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.”   *Transcription Below*   Dr. Michael Sytsma has been working with couples in a variety of capacities since 1987. He is a licensed professional counselor in the state of Georgia, a Certified Sex Therapist, and a Certified Professional Counseling Supervisor. He is also an ordained minister with The Wesleyan Church and has served as a staff pastor for churches with attendance from 30 to over 1,000. He is currently appointed to Building Intimate Marriages, Inc. by The Wesleyan Church, where he provides marriage and sex therapy and training to other professionals. Michael also cofounded Sexual Wholeness, Inc., a Christian non-profit dedicated to training, equipping, and certifying professionals in human sexuality.    After earning a Bachelor of Science in Christian Ministry from Indiana Wesleyan University, Michael went on to receive a master's degree in community counseling from Georgia State University and a diploma in Christian counseling from Psychological Studies Institute. He subsequently earned a Ph.D. from the University of Georgia in Child and Family Development/Marriage and Family Therapy, where he specialized in marital sexual therapy. His dissertation topic was “Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Married Couples.”    Building Intimate Marriages Secrets of Sex and Marriage   Thank You to Our Sponsor: WinShape Marriage   Questions and Topics We Cover: What habits do you see drawing married couples closer together and also what behaviors or mindsets are pulling them apart? What are the different types of desire discrepancy? Can you share what the Bible says about oral sex and also share research findings?    Previous Savvy Sauce Episodes with Dr Mike: Ten Common Questions About Sex Enjoying a God-honoring, Healthy Sex Life with Your Spouse Remaining Sexually Engaged Through The Years with Dr. Michael Sytsma  Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Marriage Secrets of Sex and Marriage   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:09)   Laura Dugger: (0:12 - 1:47) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   I'm thrilled to introduce you to our sponsor, WinShape Marriage. Their weekend marriage retreats will strengthen your marriage while you enjoy the gorgeous setting, delicious food, and quality time with your spouse. To find out more, visit them online at winshapemarriage.org/savvy.   Today, I get to bring back our most repeated guest, Dr. Michael Sytsma. Our show notes are going to have links back to all of his previous episodes on The Savvy Sauce, and you're going to find out why he is invited back so frequently. Dr. Sytsma is a Christian sex therapist, an author, a counseling supervisor, and ordained minister. With a pastoral heart, a gift in teaching, and a passion for helping couples grow in marriage, Dr. Sytsma is the perfect guest for today to discuss these sensitive and sacred topics related to sexual intimacy in marriage. Here's our chat.   Welcome back to The Savvy Sauce, Dr. Mike.   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (1:47 - 1:52) Thank you so much. It's such an honor. It's always a joy to be with you and to talk through this.   Laura Dugger: (1:52 - 2:19) Well, I'm always looking forward to these conversations. And I just want to begin with a broad overview where we can discuss both relationship builders and some of the sneaky relationship retractors. So, what habits do you see drawing married couples closer together? And then also, what are the behaviors and mindsets that are pulling them apart?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (2:21 - 5:57) So, when I sit with couples, obviously the bulk of the couples that I work with are those that are struggling or wanting things to be better. So that may be a bit of a skewed. The couples that come into workshops even are often aware that something's not quite how they want it to be. And so, watching to see what makes a difference, exactly what you're asking. And one of the biggest things I see is just the intentionality of couples that are doing well. I think many times our culture tends to say that if you've picked the right person, if everything is going well, it'll be easy and everything will just flow well. And I find that amusing because it doesn't work in any other area of life. In our finances, we have to be disciplined with them. In parenting, we have to be disciplined with it. In our own health and exercise and what we eat. If we just ate whatever we wanted, I don't think things would be good. If we waited to feel to eat healthy, I don't think we would eat healthy.   And yet couples almost have this idea that you need to desire, you need to feel the urges to do what's healthy in the marriage. And those that wait for it and wait for their spouse to do it, they tend to get irritated and disillusioned and start to see each other negatively and pull apart versus those that sit down and develop a vision. Here's who we want to be as a couple. Here's who I want to be as a husband. Here's who I want to be as a wife. And we begin to lock ourselves into who we're becoming and who we're becoming as a couple and then live intentionally towards that. I see those couples do so much better.   Part of it is, you know, if you say to your husband, here's who I want to be as a wife. And he believes that. He believes that's your heart. Then the day that you get up, and I'm sure this never happens to you, but the day you get up and you're just not in a good mood, you know, the kids kept you awake at night or you didn't eat something that was good for you. You wake up and you're not in a mood. He can extend a ton of grace because he knows you're not satisfied with yourself. He knows that you're not going to like who you are right now and you're not going to tolerate that very long. So, he doesn't have to step in and try to control you, to manipulate you, to make you to be who he wants you to be. He can step back and extend grace knowing that you're probably going to come to him later that day or tomorrow and go, sorry, I wasn't in a good mood yesterday. It was probably tough to live with. And he knows you will reset and the same for him.   If he has a rough day and he doesn't treat you with the cherishing care that you know he wants to be, then you kind of step back and we'll give him a little bit of space. He'll figure it out. And he does. And he resets and he comes back and you make intentional steps towards that vision that you guys have co-created. Those couples tend to do really well. And I see those steps being a little different for different couples because their vision might be slightly different. But the consistent patterns and habits that I see are establishing that vision, locking into it and trusting that you'll do your work and I'm going to do mine. And we're intentional in moving forward with it.   Laura Dugger: (5:58 - 6:20) Okay. So, I'm kind of hearing start with the end in mind, get on the same page with the conversation of what our vision is. And then intentionally, it sounds like pre-deciding before you're waiting for these feelings to come up to even pre-decide practical things of how often do we want to come together? What do we want that to look like? So, am I hearing that right?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (6:20 - 9:28) Yep, very much so. And obviously there's a lot that's wrapped in it. Couples have to be able to communicate effectively, you know, hear and be heard to be able to sit down and sort through who do I want to be? Because usually a few years into marriage, we're starting to ascribe motivation and desire to our spouse that's not fully accurate. And we begin to define them different than they see themselves to be able to hear that, to be able to figure out who do I want to be? How do I work with the personality that I have? Mike works in idiosyncrasies and who's the best person that I can become? And then to be able to share that with each other.   So many couples don't sit down and really talk through. As you know, sex therapy is my primary research and interest area. And so, working a lot with couples that most of the couples I work with have never shared their vision for what they want their sex life to look like. They might've argued about frequency or certain behaviors, but they've never really shared vision. And most when I challenged them to don't have a clue of themselves really how to articulate what they want. So once that vision has been discussed and talked about, then yes, they can start to sort through, well, how do we get there? And can we give ourselves permission for some time?   I told a couple of you yesterday, guys, this is going to take decades to get to where you want to be. And you get to see his face. I said, this doesn't mean that we wait decades till we get there, but you've created a really beautiful vision and nobody can do that overnight. You're going to have to regularly work at it. And you're right. That intentionality of what are we going to do?   I tell couples my recipe is 15 minutes of connect time every day where you're leaning into each other. How are you doing? Really? What's going on? And then a one hour a week, a business meeting, I call it a working date where we sit down, we do the business of marriage. Just being intentional in how do we do this? Well, at least every other week to do a fun date where we are just going and playing together. We're not trying to work on anything. We're not talking about anything difficult. We're playing together. And then once a year, some kind of a continuing ed for their marriage, whether that be some marriage therapy, a retreat, a workshop, going through a sermon series and talking about it, reading a book together, something that gets them to really focus back on how are we doing and how do we make this better? Those are all intentional things that have to be done on a regular basis. Couples who make those, like you say, early decisions and then work to consistently follow through on them. Not perfectly, but consistently following through.   Laura Dugger: (9:30 - 10:08) I love that because the fruit of it is so enjoyable then to be married to one another if you've got this intentional relationship rather than the other option is for it to really overflow into all areas of life and be difficult. But you're clearly a world-leading Christian sex therapist, so I'm very eager to hear your insight on this as well. What would you say is the current trend for trouble areas with sex and intimacy that you're seeing with your clients or people that you meet through traveling the world to speak?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (10:11 - 12:58) Obviously, some of the standards that have been a part of human culture, especially my area of interest, is desire discrepancy. Whether that be husbands and wives who desire different frequencies, who desire different practices, who desire a different tone. I want wild and crazy and you want soft and nurturing. The differing desires are a primary area of conflict for couples. Because if you're not doing what I want, my natural instinct is to lean in and start to make you be that way. And humans don't tend to do well with pressure, so it tends to shut things down and then it spins out. So that's always an ongoing one, but that's also being my primary area of research and focus, one that I see a lot just in looking.   But one that the research seems to be showing that is a bit disturbing, and we've got theories behind what's going on, but we're seeing a decrease in sexual frequency amongst couples, a decrease in couples connecting. Whether that be connecting centrally, nurturing kind of touch, you know, the tender hugs and kisses, caresses, the snuggling together at night, or the more intimate sexual encounters where couples are having intercourse or they're engaging for sexual pleasure, we're seeing a drop in those. We saw it drop. COVID was not friendly to many aspects of marriage, and we saw a lot of it drop towards the end of that. And in many respects, it hasn't recovered, according to some of the research. So that would be an area of concern, because if couples are not connecting, many times they're acting out on their own, because it's easy, I don't have to negotiate you, there's plenty of options and ways to go about doing that. And the experiences, the chemicals that are released when we connect with each other, the associating you with pleasure, all of those things decrease, and they're critical in marriage. So that would be an area that we're kind of keeping an eye on. Is that going to bounce back? What is really going on? Is it a temporary thing, or is it just a glitch in the numbers? And it doesn't seem to be, seems to be what's happening.   Laura Dugger: (13:00 - 13:19) Wow, that is kind of alarming. And since COVID, that is so interesting. You said you have a few theories, and I know you're very scientifically based, so it's too early to report the research findings. But what are your opinions or thoughts on the reasons for that?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (13:21 - 18:05) I think in working with couples, there's a couple of things that I see play out. One is we are in an age of information overload and anxiety overload. We hear so much that is disturbing, and we don't feel like we have any agency in creating change for it. So, the internal stress level just goes up, you know, wars and economy, and things that we dislike that we're out of control with. And we see a general level of stress and anxiety go up for us right now. You know, there's some insecurity in terms of what is the economy really going to do. And all of that, I believe, has an impact on our sexual behavior.   I think, in part, we're wired for that. We think through human history. However long you happen to believe humans have been around, it's a while. For most of that time, we couldn't manage our fertility. So, if a couple engaged in sex, she was going to get pregnant. Well, if I don't have the emotional energy, the bandwidth, the resources to produce a child and to raise them, it makes sense to me that we are wired to not have desire to engage sexually with somebody. We see that especially for women. If stress level goes up, they're not interested. And I think that makes sense. I think it's a wiring in. Why would you want to reproduce if you're living in a stress-filled environment? We need to raise these kids up enough that I have the bandwidth to do another one or we need to have the food resources or whatever is needed. And our brains don't always think through the details of my refrigerator's full. We're fine. It just experiences the stress of what we're in.   Guys are the same way. You tend to have to push guys to a much higher level of stress before it affects their sexual desire. But I watch it almost every day in my office. Guys come in that have lost interest in sex. I look at their lives. I'm like, you're stressed to the max. You're working 60, 70 hours a week. You're not sleeping. You're eating like crap. You're not exercising. Of course you don't have interest. So, living in a culture that has that high level of anxiety and out of control, I think is part of what's going on there. We don't give time to just sit back and relax and realize that we are a blessed people living in a blessed time. We have a lot of resources. We could do this.   I think the other side of it is the impact of, we'll just call it social media, the impact of all of the information we're able to get. And it's curated information. And we only put online the things that we're proud of. So, we put online all of these great images. We look at everybody else's life. And sometimes in the research, we'll talk about monitoring the alternatives. I'm looking at my spouse and I'm looking at them and I'm going, wait, I like what they're doing better than what you're doing. And it creates an overall dissatisfaction that we start to try to make our spouse to be different. And they don't respond well to that. They get defensive and they push back on trying to make us different. And now we've got a power struggle going on and sex doesn't do well in those kinds of settings. Sex doesn't respond well to pressure. Hearts don't respond well to pressure. So, we start to pull away. Then we experience pleasure with you less. And I experience pain and frustration with you more. And when I look over here, it increases that because they're saying this is what it's like for them. That's not what it's like for me. I want that. And I don't know that I can have that with you. So, I want to have sex with you. And it's easier to negotiate pornography. It's easier to negotiate my fantasy stories. It's easier to negotiate something individually than it is to try to negotiate you. And so, the opportunity to experience profound pleasure with our spouse goes down and the frustration goes up and the cycle just continues to spin up. So those would be, they're interrelated, but a couple of ideas that I would have at this point.   Laura Dugger: (18:06 - 20:42) And now a brief message from our sponsor. Friends, I'm excited to share with you today's sponsor, WinShape Marriage. Do you feel like you need a weekend away with your spouse and a chance to grow in your relationship together at the same time? WinShape Marriage is a fantastic ministry that provides weekend marriage retreats to help couples grow closer together in every season and stage of life. From premarital to parenting to the empty nest phase, there is an opportunity for you. WinShape Marriage is grounded on the belief that the strongest marriages are the ones that are nurtured, even when it seems things are going smoothly, so that they're stronger if they do hit a bump along their marital journey.   These weekend retreats are hosted within the beautiful refuge of WinShape Retreat, perched in the mountains of Rome, Georgia, which is a short drive from Atlanta, Birmingham, and Chattanooga. While you're there, you will be well-fed, well-nurtured, and well-cared for. During your time away in this beautiful place, you and your spouse will learn from expert speakers and explore topics related to intimacy, overcoming challenges, improving communication, and more. I've stayed on site at WinShape before, and I can attest to their generosity, food, and content. You will be so grateful you went.   To find an experience that's right for you and your spouse, head to their website, winshapemarriage.org/savvy. That's W-I-N-S-H-A-P-E marriage.org slash savvy, S-A-V-V-Y. Thanks for your sponsorship.   That's so insightful. I have a lot of follow-up questions, so I'll try to organize them because I'm thinking of three categories. First, about just pleasing yourself and not working with your spouse and negotiating. Then also desire discrepancy going further into that and social media. Let's start with the first one. When you see the numbers go down of how often couples engage sexually in marriage, you're seeing those numbers go down. Would you say that automatically means that they are just seeking this out themselves with pornography or doing things in secrecy? Would you like to clarify that?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (20:42 - 23:50) Not necessarily. It is worth asking the question, but I think one of the myths our society has, especially in the church and culture, is that sex is a need. If you're not fulfilling it with me because it's a need, you're getting it someplace. For some people, sex is a strong drive. It's a strong urge. I think it's designed in us that way to draw us to our spouse, to draw us to connecting, but it is not a need. Nobody dies from lack of it. I could line up a whole string of clients that practice sexual fidelity, sexual integrity, and they're not at a place that they can express their sexuality in a way that they believe is honoring, so they don't. Nobody dies. Nobody does poorly, even. Many times, they thrive. The belief that if you're not getting it with me, you're getting it someplace, that may be true, but that's not a foregone assumption.   For some, though, it is. It is something that I want, something that I desire. It meets a lot of my desires. I think sex meets a lot of our needs, a need of acceptance. I do believe that's a need. I think we have a need to be desired, to be pursued. I think those are God-reflective needs in us. God desires those things. I think it's fair to say that those are needs, and we often get those needs met through sex. Even in an altered, hollow way, masturbatory sex can give something towards those needs. It's worth asking, as somebody pursuing that individually. A couple last week, they sat down for the first time and started to talk about that with each other. What do you do? We're only engaging this frequency. What do you do outside of that? They were both surprised at what each other does, and able to step back and say, I'm challenging them to do vision work. What do we want? For one of them, they said, “I don't want this part of my life. I want it to be only you, but that doesn't always work well. What do we need to do so it can be?” The other is not so sure that they want to give up some of what they're enjoying in their individual time. How do we wrap that in? It's interesting to watch them work through the vision and try to figure out who do they want to be as couples. But to go back to your question, no, it's not a foregone that they're going to be acting out. But it's worth asking, and worth asking, is that what you want? Or are you taking that as a second best because you don't see an opportunity to pursue what's really good? If that's true, can we maybe figure out how for both of us to get what we truly desire?   Laura Dugger: (23:51 - 24:19) That's so wise. Then to elaborate also on desire discrepancy, you've shared this is your primary research area. Can you expand a little bit on, I won't hit all of these, but you had talked about it being a desire discrepancy with frequency, with the type of activity, and I feel like there was one other topic. In practices. Can you share more about each of those?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (24:20 - 27:48) Yeah, the primary conflict that comes into my office is often illustrated by frequency. Generally, in most couples, the husband, the male, has a desire for a higher frequency. The female has, her frequency desire tends to be lower. In Secrets of Sex and Marriage, we have all the numbers that play that out. What's interesting is when we test them, they're not as far apart as they believe they are. Actually, in our survey, 22% of couples were wanting the exact same amount. Only 14% or 15% believe that they wanted the same amount, which is a pretty significant difference. Couples are closer together than they think they are. And most of those couples, even when they were different, were only one mark different. She said that she would like to have sex one to two times a week, and he said he would like to have sex two to three times a week. That's one mark different. Most couples were not that different, even when there was one.   Usually what is being expressed there is, I don't know that you desire me as much as I desire you. I desire you in a way that's physically connecting, and you don't seem to. What does that mean about me? What does that mean about am I a desirable person? Would you prefer to have somebody else other than me? Often, underneath that is the fears of, do you choose me? Do you want me? Do you like playing with me? I want a playmate. I want somebody who we can just relax and be together. I want somebody who holds me and nurtures and comforts me, and you don't seem to want to do that. What does that mean about me? The fight about the frequency, but really what's underneath it is a lot of fears.   That comes into the types as well. I want sex that is wild and crazy and spontaneous. I want to be able to walk into the room and you lose your mind. That never happens anymore. I want sex that follows us having long talks where you've cared for my heart and you've nurtured me. We've gone slow and you've really just cherished me. You just want something wild and crazy and to lose your mind. How do we bring those two together? Or practices. I enjoy bringing toys in and playing. You don't like that. You like the one kind that helps you to feel connected. I want to play more. The research on oral sex that we just finished comes into that and how they desire differently around even those practices. So, all of that comes into the office. I'm sure you're hearing at one level it is we're arguing about what I want versus you want. At another level, it's what does that mean? What does it mean to my heart and how do I interpret that you don't want to do this? That comes into play pretty heavily and it's worth couples trying to unpack and figure it out.   Laura Dugger: (27:48 - 28:01) And would you say that to unpack and figure it out is that most beneficial at a neutral time or what kind of conversation starters would be helpful for them?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (28:04 - 29:54) Not to advertise, but Secrets of Sex and Marriage was designed, we wrote it, and my heart desire in it was to have a book that couples could sit down and read out loud to each that would start these conversations. So, if they read through a session or a section that talks about one type of sexual behavior to pause and go, I think this author is stupid. Nobody wants that. And to start the conversation about what do each of them like and what do they want as a couple. I think it often takes something outside of them to help get the conversation started. And we always tell couples don't have these conversations around sex. Don't have it in the bed. Have it at the coffee table the next day. Have it in structured working dates. Have it in times that we're going to talk about this. So, we're doing our best to be our best while we're talking about it. Keep those conversations time limited or you run out of energy. Step at it, work on it a bit, then step back, get a break, rethink. So, all of the stuff that we know how to do with difficult conversations in business, we bring those skills in because heart issues are involved and we're not always aware of the heart issues. If I start to get defensive, we need to step away from it because curiosity is the only thing that's going to work here. So yes, structuring it. Most couples struggle to do that on their own. They struggle to do that on finances and parenting, how to manage your mom, let alone something as intimate as sex. So many times they will need a coach or a therapist or somebody just to hold the space for them so they can have that conversation.   Laura Dugger: (29:55 - 30:08) That's brilliant advice. And I like that kind of step care mentality of getting the book and trying that first. It still is a neutral third party and I think that's a great place to begin.   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (30:09 - 30:26) I love when couples come in and say, well, we read this section and he said, well, that's just stupid. And I look at him like, what do you mean that's stupid? I think that way. And as long as they can stay curious and not critical, those conversations go really well.   Laura Dugger: (30:28 - 30:48) That's good. Staying curious. Okay. So, then you also mentioned social media. So can you speak more to this demand that people are having to, I guess the way that you've worded it in the past is the demand for fantasy that people see in social media and pornography.   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (30:50 - 34:18) Maybe a stupid example. My wife and I are looking at redoing our master bathroom closet. It's been a lot of years. The first person we had come in and take a look at it went, yeah, this has been here a while. Okay. So yeah, maybe it needs to be redone. And so, what do you do? You start jumping online and looking, well, what are people doing today? What do bathrooms look like? And you start looking at them going, wow, I want that. Well, I can't fit that space into my space. So, do I need different space? And all of a sudden, all of these desires that I have and what I fantasize about living in, what if it's not even possible where I'm at? What do I do with the tension in it? Can I look at what I've got and really appreciate it and work on making it maybe better, but not need to swap it out for something else or not stay in a state of discontent with what I got, even after it's been upgraded and redone.   A stupid little example, I think of what goes on in relationship as we watch a couple and their gorgeous pictures of their vacation or their family pictures of, it looks like this big family with all the grands and they're having so much fun together. And every time my kids get together, we have knockdown drag outs, or two of my kids won't even show up, or the grands act out every time that they're around. And my family isn't the ideal family. My spouse isn't the ideal spouse. Here's a picture of him with his arms wrapped around looking so nurturing. And I don't know that my husband ever does that to me. He's always irritated with me. And we go to, I desire to be pursued. I desire to be chosen. I desire to be nurtured. And I see that in all of these images out there, and I'm not experiencing it. And I increase the fantasy of what I could have, what I desire to have. And I look at you and I think, it's not even possible to have that with you. You're not that kind of person. I'm not sure I picked right. And we're creating something that is really destructive in the process.   When we go back a few hundred years ago, and your spouse was chosen for you, or your spouse was one of only a handful of people that were even options. I got the best of those. This is pretty good. And we're working to make it good. And no, it's not perfect. Nobody expected it to be perfect. I love the song in Fiddler on the Roof, Do You Love Me? My father told us that I'd be lucky if in time, we would fall in love with each other, because they didn't marry for love. And then realizing that over the years, they had developed a rich kind of love. That's a very different experience than we have today, where we want the fantasy right up front. And we never want to step out of the fantasy, because it looks like it's all around us. And I don't know that's necessarily good for us, because the real takes work. I don't want to work. I want you to be who I want you to be without me working.   Laura Dugger: (34:20 - 34:39) That's so interesting. And that, I guess, pairing social media and phones, which are relatively recent changes, and then COVID, and there's so much curiosity around why have things changed so much sexually for married couples since COVID? But all of these consequent...   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (34:39 - 35:33) We think in part, it was pushing couples together, because we saw a spike in activity when we first shut things down. I'm blocking on the word that we use for it. But when we first shut things down and lock people up together, we saw an initial spike, and then we saw a drop. And it's that sense of, okay, now you're wearing on me, and I don't know that I want to do this with you. I think some of it was pushing people into the online world. I talk about social media, but it covers all of that online consuming that we do, and the dissatisfaction growing in. So, when you push people together, there's plenty of that talk about that. It doesn't always do real well, unless they're intentional and work at it.   Laura Dugger: (35:34 - 37:26) Okay, that is interesting. As you say, social media, maybe putting it even with phones, even just the amount of time that people you're giving so much attention to your screen, rather than one another. And it does seem like that was from COVID.   By now, I hope you've checked out our updated website, thesavvysauce.com, so that you can have access to all the additional freebies we are offering, including all of our previous articles, and all of our previous episodes, which now include transcriptions. You will be equipped to have your own practical chats for intentional living. When you read all the recommended questions in the articles, or gain insight from expert guests and past episodes as you read through the transcriptions, because many people have shared with us that they want to take notes on previous episodes, or maybe their spouse prefers to read our conversations rather than listen to them or watch them now that we're offering video rather than just audio. So, we heard all of that. And we now have provided transcripts for all our episodes. Just visit thesavvysauce.com. All of this is conveniently located under the tab show notes on our website. Happy reading.   So, this is kind of a big question, but whether it's thinking of wisdom for married couples, or even the way that they train their children so that they can avoid some of these pitfalls later on when they're adults. So, I'm thinking of the engagement and connection in real life face-to-face versus screens. Do you have any other wisdom that may actually impact them sexually someday?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (37:27 - 40:25) There are some foods that we don't eat because they're poisonous to us. There are some things we don't take into our brains because they're toxic to us. Yeah, we do. We learn to stay totally away from those. But yeah, I was thinking more the experiences that I have of even a spouse saying, “you can't have access to anything because I'm so angry at you.” I don't know if that's helpful.   Laura Dugger: (40:26 - 40:56) I see what you're saying. Appreciate the heart behind that, not controlling them and also taking the responsibility of self-discipline. So, there's another topic that many married couples may want to know more about, but they don't know where a safe place is to go and ask. So, this is the topic of oral sex. And so, Dr. Mike, can you share first what the Bible has to say about oral sex, but also share with us some of the research findings?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (40:57 - 52:46) Okay. So, we've got three more hours, right? So, if we tried to collapse it down a little bit, this comes a bit out of just working with it for so many years. We do the couples' workshops. We always do an Ask Dr. Mike. And so, through the entire workshop, today's technology, we used to use three by five cards, but today's technology, they can anonymously send a message in to me. And we take an hour of workshop and just go through those and answer them. And I am always going to get several on the subject. So, it's just been something that we know couples want to know about. Because it is a desire discrepancy, it is of interest to me. And so, we rolled questions about it into our last survey, the Marital Intimacy Project, where we surveyed 501 married couples, and a nationally representative sample. So, these weren't Christian couples, they weren't non-Christian couples, they weren't. The sample represents the 2018 U.S. Census data for the United States. So, in racial mix, racial ethnic mix, and religious mix and age, where they're at in the country. So, this is what these married couples are telling us about. So that's the background that some of this embeds in.   And your first question is, what does scripture say about it? Well, that depends on who you ask. You know, if we go back through most of church history, the purpose for sex was procreation. And anything that wasn't procreative act was considered outside of the boundary of God, because sex was about procreation. And many even teaching that once you got to the age that you weren't trying to have kids any longer, you should stop having sex, because the purpose for sex is procreation. And if you're doing it for pleasure, you're risking sin. If you're doing it for connection, you're risking sin. Well, if sex is about procreation, first, foremost, and sometimes only, oral sex is not acceptable, because it's not a potentially procreative act. That's the language that's often used in some of the church history teaching, that it needs to have the potential for procreation. And if it doesn't, then it's sin, it's outside of God's boundary. So, for hundreds of years, we have teaching that says that oral sex is totally unacceptable because it's not procreative.   If you take a perspective that sex is about connection, or sex is about play, sex is about intimacy, and sex is about pleasure, then all of that is re-evaluated. So, we have those theologians that look at Song of Solomon, where he talks about tasting of her garden. Nobody questions what her garden is in the story, the imagery that's used there. But there are those, or the flip side of that, she talks about drinking of his spring. And many theologians would look at that and say, no, no, no, that's not about oral sex. God would never talk about oral sex because that's unacceptable. It's not a procreative act. He is using imagery there to talk about the intensity of the love and the desire. This is strictly a spiritual story. And then others come in and say, yeah, no, I think it's about the physical. God would talk about that because couples do this, and it's playful, and it's fun, and it's good, and it allows them to connect. And the pleasure is not a bad thing. And when he's talking of tasting of her garden, when she's talking of drinking of his spring, they're talking about oral sex and scripture. And God talks about drink deeply, enjoy. And so, the other side of the argument says, for couples that enjoy this, there's nothing wrong in it.   Now, I think we can make a larger argument. Scripture talks about consent. Scripture talks about honoring one another. Scripture talks about desiring for one another. So anytime we step in and we start using demands, that is not scriptural. You know, Christ was profoundly invitational. He was profoundly inviting in who he was. The language I use for it sometimes shocks people. I say Christ was profoundly seductive. He had the ability to woo, to draw, that he can step up to somebody whose generational career is fishing. This is what their family is about. And he walks up and he says, “Hey, come follow me.” And they drop their nets and leave. I mean, who has the ability to do that? And it wasn't a command, you need to do this, or you're going to burn in hell. No, it was a wooing invitation. He had profound ways to look at somebody and point out their sin. Yeah, I know you've been married to what was it, four men already, and the one that you're living with is not, you're not married to him. He calls out her sin in such a way that she leans into the story. You know, how seductive, how invitational. I want to be a fly on the wall of that well, to experience what it was like to listen to him talk. And how did he draw people so well? That's who we want to be in marriage. We want to be the seductive, the person who draws, not the person who commands. So, if we take any of these principles and we start to demand of our spouse, I think that's not scriptural. So, when you ask, what does scripture say? I think it talks about honoring one another, nurturing one another, inviting, if that's something that's pleasing to you.   So, the question was, well, what do couples do? What do they want? And so, we asked all of these couples to, how often do you perform on your spouse? And what would you like? Do you enjoy it? Do you enjoy performing on your spouse? Do you enjoy having it performed on you? And it was really fascinating. You know, there's a lot of numbers that come into it. But the first thing that we learned is this tends to be couple scoring. If one does, the other one likely does. If we move into desire, that's more individual scoring. But if we move into practice, it tends to be couples. So, the couples where both of them said we never do, couples where both of them said we often do or occasionally do, and couples who said we regularly do or always do, those were clubs. The ones where he said, well, I always do. And she says, “I never do.” Those were rare, which was interesting. And then when we had it broken down into a lot of categories, but when we clumped them all together into the never, rarely, occasionally, sometimes, and often, always, we get almost third, third, and third. And so, couples have said in my office, but everybody does it. Actually, no, they don't. The largest group when we had it all broken down were couples that never do. That was the largest group. And the couples that always do was half of the never do. But if we get the larger categories, it's almost a third, third, and third, which says to me, it's perfectly okay, whatever the couple decides. Let's let them decide their comfort, what they enjoy with it, what it means to them. And that's more important than the behavior of it.   Then when we do get into, and I'm looking over here at my numbers, so I get them kind of right. We did not see a huge difference in age. I expected there to be a difference in practice with age. We didn't see a huge difference. And there was no difference in marital satisfaction or in sexual satisfaction between the couples that did and didn't. The only times we saw a difference was when they were what we would call asymmetrical. And those few couples where she said, “I always do”, and he says, “I never do.” Or the other way around. We got asymmetrical, we saw a decrease in marital and sexual satisfaction. But there was no difference in the couples that say we never do and the couples that say we always do. So, it didn't have an impact on sexual satisfaction. It had a bit of an impact on her orgasmic frequency, which that kind of makes sense. But the biggest difference was in desires and how, whether you like to or not.   So, we asked husbands, do you like to have it performed on you? And we asked wives, does he like when you perform on him? And wives have us figured out. The answer is almost identical to us. When we asked husbands, “does your wife enjoy doing this?” And we asked wives, “do you enjoy performing on him?” Husbands really overestimate how much she enjoys this, which was fascinating. Not a surprise, but fascinating. And there was a big difference between what the husband enjoys and performing on him and what the wife enjoys and performing on him. That was a massive difference. And then in the middle of that is performing on her. And they weren't near as far apart there. But once again, husbands overestimated her enjoyment. Wives underestimated his enjoyment, which was interesting. But there wasn't a huge difference. So, if we take the wife enjoying performing on him, husbands enjoying being performed on, those are quite a bit different. And right in the middle was wives saying that they enjoy it and husbands saying they enjoy performing on her. So that was interesting in looking at what they do and don't like.   Now, I haven't broken it down into some of the categories of couples. Yeah, I did look at it in terms of desire types. And there was some big differences there, which we would expect that an initiating type of a desire is going to want more versus a receptive or resistant, a little less. But I haven't broken down some of it even more detailed. Those initial numbers have been fascinating to see. And I think the takeaway is what we started with. What's your vision? What do you want and why? What does it mean to you? Let's decide what you want in your marriage. And then let's take steps to make it healthy and to be good and to move toward it. And it doesn't have to be tomorrow. We can slowly grow to that.   Laura Dugger: (52:47 - 53:09) That is so interesting. And I'm sure that's so helpful when a majority of people are submitting those kind of questions. Now you have some normative responses. And you also mentioned something in there about the different types of initiation or desire, and one is resistant. So, can you go into all three of those and define that?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (53:10 - 58:20) Yeah. We have the cultural message that desire is being harmed. And it is. That we feel we wake up and I'm interested in sex or you walk by and I'm interested in sex. I want to have sex. We think of it as spontaneous. It's not actually spontaneous, but we think of it as spontaneous. That's an initiating type of desire where we're aware of the desire before arousal. We pursue the sex for arousal is the experience of it. The second, and for that I've shifted to in the book, we talk about a car and being driving neutral and parking, but I've shifted to talking about in terms of boats, you know, that initiating desire is a speedboat, sometimes a really big engine, sometimes not so big of an engine, but it's powered, it's moving forward. Receptive desire requires arousal before the desire shows up. So, it takes an intentional step to move forward. Yeah, we can do that. And I'm enjoying doing this. Oh, my body's enjoying this too. This is good. And then the desire clicks on. So, desire sometimes may not show up till five to 10 minutes into the sex act. Now I want this, please don't stop, you know, please do it this way. Now the desire is there. That's the receptive desire. And I talk about that as kind of like a sailboat. You know, it's not powered by an engine. It needs an external force to kind of get it moving forward. But I also have to have the sails up. And what does it take for me to have the sails up on my sailboat? And what seduces me, what draws me, what helps me to move towards that desire?   And then resistant is the motor's pulled up out of the water, the sails are tied down, and there's two anchors that are, you know, doesn't matter what you do, I'm not moving. I'm not going to allow anything to move me. Or those anchors are there for a good reason, because of trauma, because of wounds, maybe that you have done. Maybe the relationship is not safe. If I get naked, I'm going to be criticized. I don't care to get naked, whether that be emotionally or physically. So, most of the time when I'm working with somebody who's resistant, the resistance is there for a good reason. And we have to figure out what's going on and how do we get rid of the anchors? Or how do we get this engine started again? And it may be physical, it may be emotional, may be relational, may be spiritual. But the resistance is going to be something has got us locked down in our sexuality, or locked down towards you. I'm still interested in sex, just not with you. And so, we have to kind of unpack that.   I do think that generally requires a third party, a therapist who's skilled in this who can work with it. My concern is even most therapists are defining receptive desires, low desire. And so, if somebody comes in and says, well, I have low desire, and they even if they realize they have receptive desire, all of the interventions are designed to increase initiating desire, rather than help somebody to nurture their type of desire, to nurture the receptive type of desire, or to figure out there's a reason you're resistant. Can we step back and create the space for you to drop the guards to figure out why you're resistant? Because he may be resistant and not even know why. He just, I'm not going to go there. And we have to create the space for him to even sit in it and start to figure it out. Or she may be, same thing for her, she may be resistant, and she might have an idea why, but we haven't unpacked it enough to really figure out what's going on. She just feels like she's broken and is being criticized by her husband. So, to step back and figure out which of those three is really going on, and how do we work with it?   So those types, within those, there are different levels, you know, we'll have an initiating desire that has a really big engine. They want sex all the time. Or an initiating desire that has a smaller engine. They don't want it all that often, but when they do, they're going to pursue it. A receptive desire that has really big sales doesn't take an awful lot to get them moving forward, but it doesn't come from within. And those that, you know, it takes a lot of work to get this thing moving forward. Is there a way we can increase the sales a little bit, so it doesn't take quite so much work internally and to the spouse? So, we're looking at types, we're looking at levels. It gets really complex, which is part of the fun of it, but part of what makes it tough for couples, and they default to the, you're broken, you don't want me, you don't like me. They default to simple answers that don't work. Mm.   Laura Dugger: (58:21 - 58:37) Okay. So, it sounds like you're saying the goal isn't to get everybody to have the engine, which is maybe where some therapists could direct them in the wrong way, but to grow in the freedom and releasing and get closer to the vision.   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (58:38 - 59:38) I was teaching this to some therapists and one of them came up on break and she says, “okay, I hear all of this, but you've got to be honest that truly the healthy person, when they've done good work, is going to have initiating desire.” If you walk into the therapy office with that, the receptive desire person, you're always internally thinking you're broken, you're immature, you're something, you're not okay. That's wrong. No receptive desire is a legitimate type. We're not trying to get the receptive person to be initiating. That's probably, I suspect that's not how they're wired. So, asking them to be that different, and they'll say, but there was a time that they were, well, yes, but that was a unique season of life where biology was very different. Now they're kind of, they're normative, so.   Laura Dugger: (59:39 - 1:01:06) That's so great. And that's what I always appreciate. Dr. Mike, you always offer hope for everyone, even the one who's locked down with the anchors. It's a, how can we start to lift those anchors? There's hope that there is change and restoration possible. And I've just loved this conversation. Deuteronomy 30 keeps coming to mind. There are two verses because I feel like you've laid out wisdom for intentionality or the negatives and hazardous results that can come from overindulging, prioritizing, connecting with our phone rather than our spouse. And so, I just want to read these two verses from Deuteronomy 30, it's verses 19 and 20. It says, "This day, I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord, your God, listen to his voice and hold fast to him for the Lord is your life. And he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob." So, it's just been such a delight to have this conversation. And I know we could talk all day, but you still have a full day of work to also get back to. So where can we go after this chat to learn more from you?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (1:01:07 - 1:01:38) My primary website is intimatemarriage.org. And there are links through that to even get to like my link page that has some of the professional articles. We're putting together some little teaching videos that grab some of this. All of that can be located through intimatemarriage.org. And of course, secretsofsexandmarriage.com is the book website too. There are a lot of resources there.   Laura Dugger: (1:01:39 - 1:01:59) I highly recommend both of those. So, we'll add the links in the show notes for today's episode. And you're familiar as our most repeated guest that we are called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, my final question for you today, Dr. Mike, what is your savvy sauce?   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (1:01:59 - 1:02:37) I think it would flow from what you were just reading there in Deuteronomy. What does it take to choose life versus choose death? I can choose death by being passive, by waiting for something to happen. If I'm going to choose life, I'm working on it. So, it goes to what we started with, a vision-based intentionality. Is the savvy sauce, who do I want to be? Who do we want to be? And how do I be intentional and consistently and regularly moving toward that? Not perfect in it, but I know what I'm striving toward and I'm being intentional and taking steps that direction.   Laura Dugger: (1:02:38 - 1:03:07) So good. And Dr. Mike, just thank you for being a safe place where we can go for these sensitive and sacred topics. I think it's going to be fascinating someday in heaven to hear all of the people saying, “oh yeah, he helped us with our marriage too. And he helped us.” So we've been so enriched because of your work. So, thank you for your investment in your work that impacts people for eternity. And thank you for being my guest.   Dr. Michael Sytsma: (1:03:08 - 1:03:09) Well, thanks for having me back.   Laura Dugger: (1:03:10 - 1:06:52) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Navigating autism can feel overwhelming, especially when families are faced with complex systems, endless information, and difficult decisions. In this episode of The Art of Feminine Negotiation, Cindy Watson sits down with Dr. Theresa Lyons to explore "Negotiating Autism Systems and Self"—a powerful conversation about navigating autism, making informed decisions, and creating meaningful support for individuals and families.   Dr. Theresa Lyons holds a Ph.D. in Chemistry from Yale University and is passionate about translating cutting-edge autism research into practical, actionable strategies for parents and organizations. As the founder of Navigating AWEtism, she created a platform that organizes the complex world of autism science into a clear and structured pathway, helping families move from confusion and overwhelm to confident decision-making.   Key takeaways:   How is negotiation woven throughout motherhood, especially in the context of autism, and what does that look like in real life?  The biggest mistake that most parents make when they're advocating for their children. how do you negotiate effectively with professionals, you know, whether teachers or doctors or therapists, when I feel like there's this imbalance. What advice do you have for them? How to negotiate effectively with professionals, whether teachers or doctors or therapists, when there's this imbalance. How can ear and uncertainty impacts decision making. And many more!   Learn more about Theresa:   Website: https://navigatingawetism.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NavigatingAWEtism Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/navigating_awetism/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/theresamlyonsphd/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@NavigatingAWEtism Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@navigatingawetism   If you're looking to up-level your negotiation skills, I have everything from online to group to my signature one-on-one mastermind & VIP experiences available to help you better leverage your innate power to get more of what you want and deserve in life. Check out our website at www.artofFeminineNegotiation.com if that sounds interesting to you.   Get Cindy's book here: Amazon   https://www.amazon.com/Art-Feminine-Negotiation-Boardroom-Bedroom-ebook/dp/B0B8KPCYZP?inf_contact_key=94d07c699eea186d2adfbddfef6fb9e2&inf_contact_key=013613337189d4d12be8d2bca3c26821680f8914173f9191b1c0223e68310bb1 EBook   https://www.amazon.com/Art-Feminine-Negotiation-Boardroom-Bedroom-ebook/dp/B0B8KPCYZP?inf_contact_key=94d07c699eea186d2adfbddfef6fb9e2&inf_contact_key=013613337189d4d12be8d2bca3c26821680f8914173f9191b1c0223e68310bb1 Barnes and Noble   https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-art-of-feminine-negotiation-cindy-watson/1141499614?ean=9781631959776   CONNECT WITH CINDY: Website: www.womenonpurpose.ca Website: www.practicingwithpurpose.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/womenonpurposecommunity/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenonpurposecoaching/ LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/thecindywatson Show: https://www.womenonpurpose.ca/media/podcast-2/ X(Twitter):  https://twitter.com/womenonpurpose1 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@hersuasion Email: cindy@womenonpurpose.ca  

In this prophetic and deeply stirring episode of Greater Glory, Apostle Bill Nordeen ministers a timely word about the season we have stepped into right now—a divine moment where the King is in the field, walking among His people, going before them, and surrounding them with His presence, His favor, and His supernatural guidance. This broadcast declares that the Lord is not distant, not delayed, and not silent. He is with us, ahead of us, and opening pathways for the Body of Christ to step boldly into the very purpose for which they were created. Apostle Bill unveils how Heaven is releasing fresh opportunities, strategic alignments, and unusual favor to propel God's people into their Kingdom assignments. You will be encouraged as this episode highlights: *The prophetic significance of the King being in the field *How God goes before His people in seasons of transition *Why this moment is marked by upgrades, acceleration, and divine positioning *How to recognize and respond to the double‑glory outpourings of the Spirit *What it means to step fully into your God‑designed identity and calling This is not just another season— it is a season of transition, upgrades, and DOUBLE GLORY. A season where the Lord Himself is drawing near, inviting His people to walk with Him in unprecedented closeness and purpose. Get ready to be strengthened, awakened, and positioned for the greatest outpouring you have ever stepped into. The King is in the field… and everything changes when He comes close. Share this broadcast with your friends and get ready to experience the unlimited power of God! Get connected with us and watch "Greater Glory" on the High Tower Ministries, Int. Facebook Page! Sundays at 9 AM and Wednesdays at 7 PM for inspiring messages that will raise your faith and grow you in the Word! Don't miss a message, Follow Us on Facebook: https://linktr.ee/hightowerministries Bookings/ Churches / Conferences: Bookings@HighTowerMinistry.org  FREE DOWNLOAD / Website: www.HighTowerMinistry.org   Unlocking Glory and the Unlocking Glory Study Guide are available on our website (signed copy with free shipping within the US). Also available on Amazon and Barnes and Nobles.  

Garron T Johnson is launching male brand new book, “Your Miracle Starts in Your Mind”, available through Available worldwide in both English and Spanish through more than 100 book distribution networks and retailers, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Walmart, and other major booksellers. Garron T Johnson City: Arlington Address: 2000 E Lamar Blvd Website: https://garront.com/

On this episode of the daily, I'm talking about the book event at Barnes and Noble in triangle. I'm doing book recommendations, and I hope that you enjoy the show. All Music today was provided by Motionarray.com royalty, Free Music, and Sounds.

Have you ever wondered if God really hears your prayers—especially the ones that seem to go unanswered?  In this special episode of Everyday Miracles, we explore the mystery and power of prayer through remarkable testimonies, biblical truth, and powerful reminders of what may be happening even when we cannot see it. You will hear some of my favorite clips about prayer from over 7 years of testimonies. I trust you will be inspired. From prayers answered in unexpected ways to prayers carried through seasons of waiting, grief, and uncertainty, these stories point us back to one beautiful truth: God hears you. If you've ever felt discouraged in prayer, wondered whether your prayers matter, or struggled when God's answer looked different than you hoped, this episode is for you. Be encouraged to keep praying, keep trusting, and remember—you may not always see what God is doing, but your prayers are never insignificant. "Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard..." Daniel 10:12 Psalm 34:17 "The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles." The purpose of Everyday Miracles Podcast is to share the love of Jesus. The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed on behalf of guests do not necessarily represent the thoughts of the host. This podcast does not constitute services or medical advice. Please pray and thoroughly research options for medical needs. Listeners and viewers consume this content on a voluntary basis and assume all responsibility for the resulting consequences and impact. NEW Everyday Miracle compilation book on Amazon: https://a.co/d/45cgbP8 Everyday Miracle compilation book on Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/everyday-miracles-julie-hedenborg/1146173449?ean=9798881501808 Subscribe to Julie's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@everydaymiraclespodcast1395 Website for Everyday Miracles (APPLY!): http://everydaymiraclespodcast.com/ To follow Everyday Miracles Podcast on itunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everyday-miracles-podcast/id1447430033 On Social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/everydaymiraclespodcast/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/everydaymiraclespodcast/ 

What does it take for a corporate scientist with zero direct reports to land on a list dominated by business school professors and bestselling authors? That's the question Jayshree Seth had to answer for herself when she was named to the Thinkers50 Radar in 2025 — and her answer became a framework. In her third appearance on the show, Jayshree Seth, 3M's Chief Science Advocate and now-published trilogy author, returns to catch listeners up on a remarkable stretch: a Thinkers50 keynote, a panel alongside Amy Edmondson, an HBR collaboration on trust and AI, and the release of her third book, The Heart of Science: Engineering Blueprint. The conversation moves through several of Jayshree's signature acronym-driven frameworks. There's METRICS-OPTICS-RUBRICS-ENERGETICS, born from reflecting on how she — an engineer with no traditional management credentials — ended up on a list built for management thinkers. There's the "three Cs" that block innovation: copy-pasting, catchphrositis, and cherry-picking, delivered as her Thinkers50 keynote. And there's VIABLE, her personal-branding framework built around voice and visibility, image and impact, backstory and behaviors, and experience and exposure. Beyond the frameworks, this is a conversation about the mechanics of building a reputation from inside a technical role. Jayshree traces the specific chain of relationships — a mention in David Epstein's book Range, an introduction to Rita McGrath, an eventual collaboration with Amy Edmondson on psychological safety and "intelligent failure" applied to human-AI trust — that turned an internal 3M scientist into an external voice cited in Harvard Business Review and Fast Company. Bill and Jayshree also dig into what it means to write a book for three different audiences at once — emerging thought leaders, established experts, and Hall of Fame-level veterans — and why friction in that process is often a sign you're doing it right. The episode closes with a reflection on responsibility: once you have an audience, thought leadership isn't a hobby, it's a discipline that has to coexist with a full-time job. If you've ever wondered whether your expertise "counts" as thought leadership because it didn't come with a traditional credential, this one's for you.     Three Key Takeaways: • Being different can be your competitive advantage, not a liability. Jayshree's METRICS-OPTICS-RUBRICS-ENERGETICS framework argues that outsiders to a field — like an engineer among management thinkers — don't need to conform to existing rubrics. Changing the measurement, the framing, and the energy you bring can alter who gets to lead a conversation. • Reaching out to "inaccessible" experts is a discipline, not a gamble. Jayshree's collaborations with Amy Edmondson, Rita McGrath, and others didn't start with credentials — they started with cold outreach after reading an article or hearing a podcast. The lesson: most thought leaders are more accessible than they appear, and it's okay if they say no. • A personal brand for thought leadership rests on delivery, not image. Her VIABLE framework (voice/visibility, image/impact, backstory/behaviors, experience/exposure) puts the emphasis on tangible results and consistent values over aesthetics — visibility only amplifies a brand that already has substance behind it.   This episode isn't just an interview — it's a live example of the ideas in Bill's brand-new book, The Thought Leadership Handbook, co-written with Peter Winick and Naren Aryal. Jayshree's journey — from in-house corporate scientist to Thinkers50 Radar honoree — is practically a case study for the book's core idea: that thought leadership follows identifiable patterns, not luck. In fact, the book itself draws on more than 700 conversations from this very podcast, and organizes those stories into five thought leadership "avatars" — Jayshree's path as an In-House Expert turned public voice fits right into that framework. If her VIABLE branding model resonated with you, the Handbook goes deeper into exactly how experts like her make that leap from personal effort to public influence. Pick up The Thought Leadership Handbook: How the Experts Elevate Their Big Ideas — And How You Can Too, by Bill Sherman, Peter Winick, and Naren Aryal, wherever books are sold — including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Amplify Publishing Group's website.

This episode explores how to approach the scale during binge eating recovery. There isn't one right answer about whether or how often to weigh yourself, and Kathryn guides you in deciding what works best for you. You'll learn why impulsive or compulsive weighing can increase preoccupation and make recovery more difficult, as well as how to handle the thoughts and urges that may come up when you do choose to weigh yourself. Most importantly, you'll learn how to keep the scale from interfering with the two main recovery goals: eating adequately and dismissing urges to binge.   Join the Brain over Binge Group Get $60 off of your first month with the coupon code: FREEDOM99 BrainoverBinge.com/Weight/ Brain over Binge resources: Get the Free Starter Kit (includes the Inspiration Booklet) Get personalized support from Kathryn with one-on-one coaching Subscribe to the Brain over Binge Course for only $18.99 per month Get the Second Edition of Brain over Binge on Amazon and Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, Apple iBooks, or Kobo. Get the Brain over Binge Recovery Guide   Disclaimer: *The Brain over Binge Podcast is produced and recorded by Brain over Binge Recovery Coaching, LLC. All work is copyrighted by Brain over Binge Recovery Coaching, LLC, and all rights are reserved. As a disclaimer, the hosts of the Brain over Binge Podcast are not professional counselors or licensed healthcare providers, and this podcast is not a substitute for medical advice or any form of professional therapy. Eating disorders can have serious health consequences and you are strongly advised to seek medical attention for matters relating to your health. Please get help when you need it, and good luck on your journey.

On this episode of the daily, I'm just talking about the latest news and talking about what's coming up next today is the event at Barnes & Noble triangle town center here in Raleigh, North Carolina from 2 to 6. We have an author expo it's from 2 to 6 PM. all music provided by Pixabay.com it also offers sounds so all music and sounds have a blessed one

Entrepreneurs get into business chasing freedom, and then build the hardest, worst job anyone could imagine. This episode is about getting the freedom back. Kelly sits down with Brian Herriot, author of the brand-new book Time Freedom, for a conversation on the reason most of us started a business in the first place. Brian shares the story that changed everything, his wife's double lung transplant 27 years ago and the vow they made leaving the hospital to stop waiting on some far-off retirement, and how he still drifted right back onto the corporate track before finally designing a life around what actually mattered. He and Kelly unpack why we get stuck (we start optimizing for money out of survival and never change gears), the danger of not knowing your "enough" number, and his core framework, the Time Freedom Formula, that aligns what it costs to live with your investments and flexible work so you can claim freedom years sooner. They get into the levels of freedom, why a 401(k) may not be the move everyone told you it was, what to do if you feel like you're already behind (Brian's promise: many people can reach time freedom in three years), and the reframe that unlocks it for most high achievers: time freedom usually isn't a completely different life, it's a one-step variation on the one you already have. What's inside: Why we optimize for money and forget to change gears Knowing your "enough" number and your definition of freedom The Time Freedom Formula, and the free calculator behind it What to do if you feel like you're already too far behind Timestamps 00:00 — Welcome: why time freedom is the reason we start businesses 00:34 — Brian's story: a lung transplant, and a vow to live differently 02:07 — Building the hardest job imaginable in pursuit of freedom 02:53 — Why we get stuck: optimizing for money and never changing gears 04:26 — The first small experiment: take the first Friday of the month off 05:24 — Knowing your "enough" number and evolving the need you're chasing 06:49 — Money confidence: getting your advisor and your coach in the same room 07:26 — The free Time Freedom Calculator (and mapping your numbers) 09:18 — "Why don't we do that now?" Brian's 2020 turning point 10:51 — When social media turns all your fun into work 11:19 — What freedom actually looks like (and choosing the highest value for your time) 13:23 — Inside the book: taking the conventional path head on 14:26 — The Time Freedom Formula explained 15:59 — The levels of freedom and getting your money working for you 17:20 — The 401(k) rethink 17:40 — "Am I too late?" What to do if you feel behind 19:17 — The promise: time freedom in about three years 20:41 — Time freedom doesn't mean you stop working 22:05 — Stepping out of the business as a catalyst for your next big leap 23:30 — Where to get the book, and closing (Timestamps pulled from the transcript timecodes — verify against your final edit.) Resources & Mentions Time Freedom by Brian Herriot — the guest's new book on optimizing for time over money and designing a business around your life. Available wherever books are sold- Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and more: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1774587122?lv=shuf&channelId=500&plpRedirect=mhFallback  The Time Freedom Calculator:  Brian's free tool at timefreedomcalculator.com  for plugging in your business, personal, and lifestyle numbers to see how time freedom plays out. Free to use, no book purchase required. (Confirm the exact URL.) Concepts referenced: the Time Freedom Formula (cost to live vs. investments plus flexible work), knowing your "enough" number, money confidence, the levels of freedom, the 401(k) rethink, and the "catalyst" idea (stepping out of the business to find the one thing that makes it 10x better)

Here's an uncomfortable truth for anyone thinking about writing a book: the profit from the book itself is usually a rounding error. The real return shows up somewhere else entirely — and this episode, featuring publishing strategist Zach Kristensen, is about figuring out where. Zach has spent 15 years inside the thought leadership publishing world, first at FranklinCovey helping build out titles like The 4 Disciplines of Execution, and now running his own publishing and author-coaching practice, Juxtabook. His new book, Trust Me, I'm an Author, distills what he's learned working with over a hundred nonfiction authors, and the central idea is disarmingly simple: a book is a shortcut to trust. Not universal trust — domain-specific trust. When someone reads your book, or even just knows you wrote one, they've already decided you know what you're talking about in your area of expertise. That self-selection changes everything about how a sales conversation starts. Instead of spending four calls explaining who you are, you're starting on third base. But getting there is the hard part, and Zach doesn't sugarcoat it. He lays out why "who is this book for" is a psychographic question, not a demographic one — and why skipping that step means spinning your wheels indefinitely. He also breaks down a practical marketing timeline: 80% writing / 20% promotion while you're drafting, flipping to 20/80 as launch approaches, with a six-month runway to build your platform before the book ever hits shelves. There's also a candid discussion about "fit" — why author-coach relationships fail when there's no shared willingness to collaborate, and why Zach will tell a prospective client, plainly, when he's not the right fit. And there's a genuinely useful reframe on ROI: instead of asking how many books you need to sell, Zach suggests asking how many new clients would make the whole thing worth it. The math gets a lot less intimidating fast. If you've been circling the idea of writing a book — or you've written one and aren't sure what to do next — this conversation with Zach Kristensen gives you a framework for both. Three Key Takeaways: • A book is a shortcut to trust, not a universal one. People don't need to trust you generally — they need to trust your expertise in the specific domain the book covers. That narrow, earned trust is what gets a prospect to self-select into a conversation already believing in your point of view. • Psychographics beat demographics for identifying your audience. Age, income, and geography are the "lazy" way to define a reader. The harder, more valuable work is understanding mindset — growth-oriented, risk-tolerant, ready to change — because that's what actually predicts who will act on your book. • A book's ROI isn't units sold — it's the business it generates. Instead of chasing bestseller lists, calculate how many new clients or opportunities would make the book a success, then work backward. The profit margin on the book itself is usually negligible; the downstream business impact is the real return. If Zach's idea that "a book is a shortcut to trust" resonated with you, you'll want to check out The Thought Leadership Handbook: How the Experts Elevate Their Big Ideas—And How You Can Too, by Bill Sherman, Peter Winick, and Naren Aryal. Drawing on more than 700 conversations from this very podcast, the book takes the patterns Zach describes — building trust through expertise, finding your audience, and turning ideas into influence — and expands them into a full framework, including five distinct thought leadership avatars to help you see where you fit.  It's the natural next step after hearing Zach's take on what it actually takes to build authority through a book. Pick up The Thought Leadership Handbook wherever books are sold, including Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Amplify Publishing.

Greater Glory — New Wine for a New Mindset Featuring Apostle Bill In this powerful episode of Greater Glory, Apostle Bill joins the broadcast with a timely prophetic charge: God is releasing new wine, but it requires a new mindset to carry it. With apostolic clarity and fatherly authority, Apostle Bill unveils how the Spirit is stretching the Church beyond old limitations, old habits, and old thought patterns so we can steward the fresh outpouring Heaven is releasing. Drawing from Jesus' teaching that new wine must be poured into new wineskins, Apostle Bill exposes how outdated mindsets can quietly hinder divine assignments — and how the Holy Spirit is actively renewing the minds of believers to match the magnitude of their calling. His message carries both conviction and encouragement, guiding viewers into a posture where transformation becomes possible, sustainable, and supernatural. Expect Apostle Bill to impart revelation that confronts stagnation, awakens spiritual hunger, and ignites fresh faith. Through prophetic teaching and practical application, he helps you identify what must be surrendered, what must be embraced, and how to expand your capacity for God's next move. The new wine is flowing. Apostle Bill declares that God is shaping His people into vessels that can carry this outpouring with strength, purity, and joy. Greater Glory invites you to rise higher, think differently, and welcome the mindset that matches your next season in God. Share this broadcast with your friends and get ready to experience the unlimited power of God! Get connected with us and watch "Greater Glory" on the High Tower Ministries, Int. Facebook Page! Sundays at 9 AM and Wednesdays at 7 PM for inspiring messages that will raise your faith and grow you in the Word! Don't miss a message, Follow Us on Facebook: https://linktr.ee/hightowerministries Bookings/ Churches / Conferences: Bookings@HighTowerMinistry.org  FREE DOWNLOAD / Website: www.HighTowerMinistry.org   Unlocking Glory and the Unlocking Glory Study Guide are available on our website (signed copy with free shipping within the US). Also available on Amazon and Barnes and Nobles.  

Have you ever walked into a home and immediately felt comfortable — or walked into a beautiful room that somehow felt wrong? Beth Dodson explores why with Lisa Morton, a designer and certified feng shui master teacher with 20+ years of experience. Lisa demystifies the 4,000-year-old practice as a grounded "art and science of arrangement": color affects the nervous system, lighting affects mood, and furniture placement shapes how we connect. They cover the front door as the "mouth of Qi," the walk-in-like-a-stranger exercise, clutter as a subconscious ping, the five elements, the command position for beds and desks, why you shouldn't sleep on top of a to-do list, and one powerful weekend project: love on the center of your home. Skeptics get a challenge too — give it six weeks. Key Topics & Timestamps (00:41) — Why do some homes just feel right? Beth opens with the question everyone has experienced: a room can look beautiful but feel off — and the flow, light, colors, clutter, and furniture may be influencing how you feel and function. (02:29) — What feng shui actually is First off: it's not Chinese food (yes, Lisa's been asked). It's a 4,000-year-old art and science of arrangement — examining whether your home is supporting your stress relief, sleep, and focus, or working against them. (03:53) — The HGTV-ready home that wasn't supporting her Lisa's own story: a designer, photo-shoot-perfect home during a period of anxiety and overwhelm — with the wrong colors, patterns, and imagery. Beautiful, but "just pretty to look at." (05:42) — Quick tips vs. going deep Easy fixes genuinely improve a space, but concrete life shifts require looking at your specific land, layout, lifestyle, and goals — your single-story home with two dogs is not your neighbor's two-story with five kids. (06:45) — The book exercise Beth loves From Aligned at Home: a short guided walk through your own front door, noticing where your eyes go and how you feel — revealing both your goals and your guests' first impression. (07:57) — The front door is the mouth of Qi Energy, opportunities, friendships, and job offers enter here. Keep it fresh: clean rug, pretty wreath, no squeaky hinges. Then walk around the block and re-enter as if you've never been there — what's the first thing your eyes land on? (09:44) — Actually use your front door Garage-door people, take note: hang the dog leash or keep your sneakers in the coat closet so your daily walk moves that front door. An unused door keeps opportunities standing outside. (10:11) — This isn't woo — it's grounded Color affects the nervous system, lighting affects mood (February crankiness is real), and furniture arrangement shapes conversation. A sofa across the room from a lone chair is not an intimate setup. (11:48) — Beth's fiery red sofas Beloved paprika-red sofas... and constant spats with her husband. "Little too spicy, little too fiery." Neutral sofas, happier marriage. Sometimes the fix is color; sometimes it's just rearranging the layout. (12:33) — Shop your home No remodel required. That blue throw pillow in the closet, the candlestick in the pantry — rearrange, repurpose, and shift how energy flows for free. (14:40) — Clutter, gently Clutter carries emotion — fear, holding on, "I might need this." Be kind to yourself, but make sure everything in your home is worthy of being there. Donate rather than landfill: do you really need nine coats, or would eight and a warm neighbor be better? (16:08) — One thing, not the whole house Skip the overwhelming weekend purge. Choose one thing that's blocking you — often that memory-laden box in the corner. Even forgotten clutter "pings" your subconscious like a phone notification. (19:01) — The five elements Wood, fire, earth, metal, water — how feng shui describes the world. Balance them by purpose: bedrooms and reading rooms want watery, earthy calm; kitchens and workout spaces want fire and wood energy. A beige, silent casino would be boring; a red, rock-music spa would be stressful. (21:58) — Bedroom: the command position Solid wall and headboard behind you, door visible off to the side (not directly across from your feet) — the ancient "mountain behind, valley in front." And clean out under your bed: one client was literally sleeping on top of unread books and unfinished photo albums — "sleeping on a to-do list." Others sleep over "the jeans I'll fit into someday." Lisa recommends nothing under the bed. (27:12) — Home office: routine, command, and focus Create a dedicated space — even a nook — and a physical open/close routine (blinds, lamp, chair) that trains your body into and out of work mode. Sit in the command position. And audit your field of view: cute trinkets directly behind your monitor are adorable distractions; move them to a side wall. (31:01) — The skeptic's challenge: six weeks Try the changes for six weeks — you can undo everything after. Lisa's clients call before the deadline: sleeping better, loving their home, finally watching movies together. Journal your emotions at the start and re-evaluate at the end. (32:44) — One thing to do this weekend: love on your center Using the Bagua map (nine energy centers laid over your floor plan), the centermost area connects to all the others. Find your home's center as a bird would see it, and make it beautiful: fresh flowers, a houseplant, swept floors, working bulbs, a scented candle. Lifting the center lifts every space. (34:34) — Bonus: feng shui your car The center console is your car's center — clear the junk, add a granola bar, a nice pen, and a bottle of water, and let it radiate out. (35:34) — Where to find Lisa PureLivingWithLisaMorton.com and @PureLivingWithLisaMorton on social — plus her podcast and her book Aligned at Home, available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and wherever you get books. Key Takeaways Feng shui is grounded, not magic: color affects your nervous system, lighting affects mood, and furniture placement shapes connection. Your front door is the "mouth of Qi" — keep it fresh, and build a routine (dog walks, package pickup) that actually uses it. Shop your home before you shop the store: rearranging and repurposing shifts energy for free. Clear clutter gently — one blocking item at a time — because even forgotten clutter pings your subconscious. Ask whether every item is worthy of being in your home; donate what isn't. Sleep and work in the command position: solid wall behind, door visible to the side — and keep nothing under your bed. Balance the five elements by a room's purpose: calm elements for rest spaces, fiery ones for high-energy spaces. Skeptical? Give it six weeks and journal the before-and-after. This weekend: find the center of your home and love on it — it lifts the energy of every other space. Resources Mentioned Lisa Morton: PureLivingWithLisaMorton.com | @PureLivingWithLisaMorton on social media Aligned at Home by Lisa Morton — available on Amazon, BarnesandNoble.com, and wherever you get books (includes the front-door exercise Beth recommends) Feng Shui Living Podcast — Lisa's show HomeZada: Home inventory reminder — don't forget what's in cabinets, drawers, closets, and under beds  

Bringing Inventive Ideas to Fruition With Lisa Ascolese “The Inventress”In this episode…In this episode of the We Are Women Podcast, I speak with Lisa Ascolese, known globally as “The Inventress,” about transforming ideas from a simple thought into a tangible product in the marketplace. Lisa shares her journey from inventing as a nine-year-old to becoming a multi-patent holder, QVC success story, bestselling author, and founder of Inventing A to Z.Episode OverviewLisa Ascolese is living proof that all things are possible when you believe in your idea and back it with action.As the CEO and Founder of Inventing A to Z, Lisa has helped countless inventors and entrepreneurs bring their ideas from a napkin sketch to retail shelves. Her company supports every stage of development including graphic design, engineering, prototyping, manufacturing, licensing, and marketing.Lisa shares:• Why self-belief is the foundation of innovation • How to walk into your beliefs instead of waiting for permission • The importance of journaling your journey, naming it and claiming it • Why she lives by the phrase “Say nothing until the ink dries” • The power of women supporting women in business • How community accelerates growth • Why motherhood and grandmotherhood shaped her leadership styleWe also discuss one of the biggest challenges women face in business — self-doubt. Lisa explains why so many capable women hesitate before launching their ideas and how shifting mindset changes everything.Her message is clear. When women lift each other up, everyone rises.About Lisa AscoleseLisa Ascolese, known as “The Inventress,” is the CEO and Founder of Inventing A to Z LLC. She helps inventors and entrepreneurs bring their ideas to life from concept to marketplace.Lisa holds dozens of patents, trademarks, and copyrights. Her products have appeared on QVC and HSN, including Perfect Pockets Organizer, which generated $6,000 in less than 30 seconds live on air. She is also the founder of AOWIE, The Association of Women Inventors and Entrepreneurs, and Inventors Spotlight TV.Lisa has been featured on Bravo TV, ABC, Sirius XM, iHeartRadio, Forbes, Black Enterprise, Ebony Magazine, Essence Magazine, The New York Times, and was recently featured on a Times Square Billboard in NYC.She is the bestselling author of The Inventress Guide to Inventing The Right Way: All Or Nothing, Now Or Never and is currently on tour with Barnes and Noble.Her mission is simple. When you think it and believe it, it can be done.Key Takeaways• When women support women, everyone rises • Community matters • You can build something meaningful at any stage of life • Walk into your beliefs • Journal your journey and claim your visionConnect with Lisa AscoleseBusiness: Inventing A to Z Phone: 732-703-8611 Email: jolie@socialwisepr.comLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisaascolese/?original_referer= Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisa.ascolese Facebook Business: https://www.facebook.com/AOWIEATOZ/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_inventress/ AOWIE Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aowieatoz/?hl=en YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBLAkwl6Tf6YzCpFzTvhhOg X: https://x.com/lisaascolese?lang=en Inventors Spotlight TV: www.inventorsspotlightTV.comWe Are Women Podcast Host, Janeen VosperWebsite: https://www.janeenvosper.com Email: janeen@janeenvosper.com Phone: +61 407 203 928International Speaker | Brand Authority Specialist | Founder of Speech Perfect

In this powerful and timely episode of Greater Glory, Apostle Bill Nordeen ministers an exciting, insightful, and deeply prophetic word about what it means to hold steady in the shaking as God transitions His people into a brand‑new season. Apostle Bill unveils how the Spirit of God is actively moving in this hour—disrupting old patterns, loosening what no longer fits, and guiding His sons and daughters into fresh assignments, fresh territory, and fresh identity. This message carries both strength and strategy for anyone who feels the tremors of change and the stretching of transition. You will be encouraged as this episode highlights: How to remain anchored when everything around you is shifting Why divine shaking is a sign of God's nearness, not His absence The purpose behind transition and how God uses it to reposition His people How to discern the new season and step into it with confidence and clarity The supernatural stability that comes from trusting God in the unfamiliar This episode declares that change is not your enemy— it is the vehicle God is using to move you into your next place of glory. Get ready to be strengthened, settled, and stirred with fresh faith as Apostle Bill Nordeen equips you to navigate change with courage, wisdom, and unwavering trust in the God who leads you forward. Share this broadcast with your friends and get ready to experience the unlimited power of God! Get connected with us and watch "Greater Glory" on the High Tower Ministries, Int. Facebook Page! Sundays at 9 AM and Wednesdays at 7 PM for inspiring messages that will raise your faith and grow you in the Word! Don't miss a message, Follow Us on Facebook: https://linktr.ee/hightowerministries Bookings/ Churches / Conferences: Bookings@HighTowerMinistry.org  FREE DOWNLOAD / Website: www.HighTowerMinistry.org   Unlocking Glory and the Unlocking Glory Study Guide are available on our website (signed copy with free shipping within the US). Also available on Amazon and Barnes and Nobles.  

Marc Cox and Kim St. Onge welcome legal scholar and attorney Alan Dershowitz to analyze national redistricting controversies and congressional representation Barnes & Noble. Dershowitz breaks down political map drawing, highlighting regional partisan balances across New England and Illinois congressional districts Google Books. He analyzes recent Supreme Court procedural decisions regarding executive orders and mail-in ballot rules leading into upcoming elections. Dershowitz previews his book, Why I Quit the Dems: And So Should You! (Confessions of a Reluctant Republican)*, detailing his decision to leave the Democratic Party, concerns over foreign policy stances, and civil liberties in higher education Google Books. For details on local voting districts and registration information, check the Missouri Secretary of State Elections Division. LISTEN TO 97.1 FM TALK LIVE IN ST LOUIS OR STREAM WORLDWIDE AT 971TALK.COM #971FMTalk #StLouis #STLNews #AlanDershowitz #Redistricting #WhyIQuitTheDems

In this episode of The Responsive Lab, Scott sits down with Tony Martignetti, founder, author, and planned giving consultant. Tony has spent nearly three decades making planned giving accessible for small and mid-sized nonprofits, first as a frontline fundraiser and then as a consultant since 2003.You'll hear about:• Why the conventional wisdom that small nonprofits aren't ready for planned giving is flat-out wrong, and what's really holding organizations back• How to identify your best planned giving prospects using the donor database you already have, with a focus on longevity and consistency over gift size• The Martignetti three-step, one-week planned giving launch, and what actually happens on day one• Why planned giving conversations are about the life and sustainability of your mission, not about death• What early metrics fundraisers should track when the financial results may be decades away• What good stewardship looks like after a donor says yes, from the handwritten note to insider communicationsMake sure to get a copy of Tony's new book, Planned Giving Accelerated, that's linked below.Links from the episode:* Connect with Tony on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tonymartignetti/* Buy Planned Giving Accelerated on Amazon: tony.ma/Amazon* Buy Planned Giving Accelerated on Barnes and Noble: tony.ma/BNLooking for technology that helps you build deeper donor relationships with less work from your team? Learn more at virtuous.org.

The Butt Sniffing Bandit: The ongoing saga of the Butt Sniffing Bandit continues as the world has no idea how to combat this creep's strat.Creep On A Plane: Wheel of Fortune Announcer Jim Thornton busted on a plane in a pedo support chat and badly tries to lie about it.Lightning Strike: A Staten Island man gets struck by lightning and lives to the tell the tale.FUCK YOU WATCH THIS!, THE BEAR!, TEARS FOR FEARS!, HEAD OVER HEELS!, DONNIE DARKO!, DOLLY PARTON!, CREMATION!, TITS!, FUCK!, THE BONFIRE!, HALLOWEEN THE GAME!, MULTIPLAYER!, PS5!, JIMDARKO!, VANSAVESLIVES!, SQUAD!, EVIL DEAD!, FRIDAY THE 13TH!, UNC STYLE!, HAWK TUAH!, BARNES AND NOBLE!, BUTT SNIFFING BANDIT!, ONGOING SAGA!, PERFECT CRIME!, NO JAIL CAN HOLD HIM!, CALIFORNIA!, AUGUST!, ATTACKS!, VIGILANTE JUSTICE!, BARELY HIDING IT!, SNIFFING BUTTS!, CREEP!, WEIRDO!, SECRET SMELL!, PEEPING!, GLENDALE!, CALESE CROWDER!, MYSTIC RIVER!, DAUGHTER!, RARE CHASE!, LOWER SHELF!, WHEEL OF FORTUNE!, ANNOUNCER!, AIRPLANE!, LIFELINE CHAT!, IN PUBLIC!, AUDACITY!, PEDO!, HENS!, DONKEY KONG ASS TIE!, PICTURES!, BATHROOM!, JERK OFF!, HANDJOB!, MILE HIGH CLUB!, LIGHTNING STRIKES!, FOOT!, SUPERHERO!, ORIGIN STORY!, WALKING TO THE DENTIST!, AMBULANCE!, SWAG!, MEETCUTE!, JEWISH!, FIDDLER ON THE ROOF!You can find the videos from this episode at our Discord RIGHT HERE!

Professional Organizer Helps Declutter Organize and Beautify Your Home and Your Life an Interview with Nikki Boyd (Episode 299)   Ecclesiastes 5:13 AMP “There is a grievous evil which I have seen under the sun: riches being kept and hoarded by their owner to his own misery.”   *Transcription Below*   Nikki Boyd is a professional organizer, author of the Beautifully Organized series, and founder of the At Home With Nikki brand. Known for her elegant yet practical approach to organization, she inspires women to create homes that feel calm, beautiful, and intentionally lived in. Through her books, courses, and social media presence, Nikki shares simple, thoughtful systems that help people simplify their spaces and live more intentionally each day. Her work has been featured in The New York Times, Real Simple, and House Beautiful.   LOOKING FOR HELP WITH YOUR LIFE? VISIT OUR WEBSITE | SUBSCRIBE OUR CHANNEL | JOIN OUR MASTER COURSE Ready to get organized? SCHEDULE A VIRTUAL SESSION Grab the books: The Beautifully Organized Series  Connect with Nikki on social: Instagram | Facebook | TikTok   Thank You to Our Sponsor: The Sue Neihouser Team   Questions and Topics We Cover: Where do your clients typically feel most overwhelmed and what is your process for eventually leading them to experience more peace?  Can you give us the best place to begin decluttering today? What is the best way to begin both decluttering and organizing kid spaces in our homes?    Related Savvy Sauce Episodes: Relationships and Opportunities that Arise from Using Your Gifts with Founder of Neighbor's Table, Sarah Harmeyer, Episode 47 Best Cleaning Tips from Clean Mama, Becky Rapinchuk, Episode 128 Experiencing Joy, Nourishment, and Connection at the Table with Abby Turner, Episode 168 Making Your Home a Place of Love and Peace: Special Patreon Re-Release with Devi Titus   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:09)   Laura Dugger: (0:12 - 1:49) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Thank you to the Sue Neihouser Team for sponsoring this episode. If you're looking to buy or sell a home this season, make sure you reach out to Sue at 309-229-8831. Sue would love to walk alongside you as you unlock new doors.   I am so excited to get to host my guest for today, Nikki Boyd. Nikki is a professional organizer and also a prolific author. If you can see all of these resources, this is part of the Beautifully Organized series. Nikki is also the founder of At Home with Nikki brand. She is known for her elegant yet practical approach to organization, and she inspires women especially to create homes where they feel calm, beautiful, and intentionally lived in. She's going to share more of that with us today. Here's our chat.   Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Nikki.   Nikki Boyd: Hi, I'm so glad to be here. Excited to be here.   Laura Dugger: Well, I'm delighted to get a chat with you, and I have to say your career absolutely fascinates me. So, will you share your path to getting to do the work that you get to do today?   Nikki Boyd: (1:49 - 7:21) Absolutely. It was very unexpected because a little secret, well, it's not a secret because I've been talking about ever since I've written my books, but I was a very messy child. So, as a child, you would have thought I would be doing what I do now. And so, it really was unexpected in the fact that I was a military spouse, just traveling around the world, supporting my husband in his dreams of being in the military and doing what he does. And depending on where we were, I would work different jobs. So, I have a very colorful work history and oftentimes frustrated by the fact of not being able to have a career and feeling like I want a career.   But it's funny how God works, and that's why we have to be patient, and we have to have faith because every last job that he provided added to my career today. And it was a necessity, and I didn't see that back then. And so, when he retired, he was like you supported me all these years. Now, it's time for me to do that in whatever your dream is of what you wanted to do. I had no idea what it was. I didn't know. I was like, what? I mean, I think I was right at 40 at the time, and I was like, okay, what is it I'm supposed to do? I'm trying to find myself at 40.   And so, I remember when we lived in England, I had went over a lady's house, and I had met for the first time, and she was having like this crafting party. And we went into a room in her home, and I had the best day. And she had, I believe it was 10 kids. They were a family of 10, yes. But it was the most peaceful environment. We sat there all day and crafted, heard no kids, had a beautiful time. When she was there, she was telling me back, this was years ago when YouTube wasn't a thing. And she was telling me about how, yeah, I like to film my crafts, and I put them on YouTube. And I was like, what is YouTube? Never thought anymore about it.   When we moved back to the States, I remembered just that experience. And I remember her saying the YouTube thing. And so, when I was trying to figure out what I was going to do, I said, you know what? Let me look into this. And just, I started filming myself, just doing whatever I was doing around my house. And then, the only person watching was my mom. Then over time, she said, put that there, put it out there. And I did. No one watched for the longest time, but I just enjoyed the process of feeling like I had that friend girl by my side in my home, as I went and organized and did the different things. And by this point, my home was my everything as far as providing for my family, a beautiful environment when they came home, and just being able to have a home that served others. And so, it just started trickling from then. People started watching. I started building a brand. And then, 2017 opened the doors to my professional organizing business, then started writing the books, five books in now on a Beautifully Organized series.   And even during that journey, I questioned God about it, because I would say I was about three years in where I wasn't really doing anything but filming. And I was like, Lord, this is not what I'm supposed to be doing. This is not a career. This is not... And I was battling with that. And I remember one night, I was in my bed and I couldn't sleep. And so, I got up and I got on my computer, and I had an email from a lady overseas. And she said, I just want to let you know that I got out of my bed for the first time in two years, because I lost my husband. I have three little ones. And I was just laying in my bed for two years, just numb. And I started watching your videos. And today, I got... You can imagine, I was tears. She said, “I got out of my bed for the first time. I organized my fridge. I set spaces for my kids' lunch. And I went out and bought me a teacup just for myself. And that to me was the first sign that God gave me that, Nikki, this does have purpose.   And so, I went on from that, and I just kept trucking along. And then as human as I am, a few years later, I questioned God again. I wasn't satisfied. And I was like, okay, God, yeah, I know, but I don't feel... I'm not feeling it. And he sent me another sign. I used to love covering. I used to love covering my Bible, making Bible covers. And so, I made a Bible cover on my YouTube channel. I was like, okay, I'm going to give away a Bible. We're doing a giveaway for a Bible. And so, I did the giveaway, just randomly picking someone, doing the thing. And then I mailed off the Bible. And I got a message from a lady, and she said, my goal when I got off work was to come home and to commit suicide. When I came home, your Bible was... I cry every time I tell the story. When I came home, the Bible that was on my doorstep, and I knew that was a sign from God that, hold on, hold on, keep going. And then I told the Lord from there, okay, I'm not questioning you anymore. This is the journey that I'm supposed to be on. And from that point, I just settled into it and grew from there. And that's what I do now.   Laura Dugger: (7:22 - 7:44) Wow. We got tears in my eyes from that story as well. Praise the Lord that you waited on Him, and you were still faithful in that journey, even when He wasn't showing you the whole path. But as a Jesus follower, Nikki, why do you think it is a worthy goal to pursue having a beautifully organized home?   Nikki Boyd: (7:45 - 9:48) Because that's how we serve others. That's how we do His work. That's how, not only when I say serve others, it's serving our family, along with our church, our community. When we establish an environment where we can welcome people in, or even if they're not coming into our home, where we're able to be in a spirit to where we can serve others outside the home. My kitchen is not chaotic, so I can make those cupcakes that I can take to church on Sunday, or I feel motivated and rejuvenated. I always say our home is our rejuvenation space. It's a space we come to to rejuvenate, and so that we can do the work we need to do when we walk outside those doors. And so, it just feeds so many things, along with it saves us time, it saves us money, it saves us from stress. And our God's an orderly God, and so we look to Him for that inspiration.   I always share too, is the first time when we open the Bible, we look at creation, and we see how He's the ultimate designer, and how He's so meticulous, and He's so thoughtful. And so, when I'm organizing my home, or decorating my home, I'm thinking like God did when He was creating the earth. He really took time and thought, and He rested Him. It was very intentional. And so that's a lot of how I like to approach our home, and how we set up systems, and how we work through the space. Because when you have a home that is in chaos, and when you have a home that just is overwhelmed with stuff, you're really just taken away from your family, taken away for yourself. I know I bought a wooden spoon. I know I got a wooden spoon here. Where's that wooden spoon? But then you have to go out and buy another wooden spoon when it's already been provided. Mm-hmm.   Laura Dugger: (9:48 - 10:05) So well said. And so, from your years of experience, where do your clients typically feel most overwhelmed? And then what is your process for eventually leading them into a place where they're getting to experience more peace?   Nikki Boyd: (10:06 - 11:38) So, a lot of spaces that clients are overwhelmed by, garages are big. The shoes at the entryway door, I hear that a lot, especially with families. You come in and the first thing, I always say your entryway is your first impression space. That's the first experience someone has when they walk into your home. And so, a pile of shoes is not the most engaging. And so that's a lot in the kitchen. The kitchen is a big... I guess there's a lot of places. Closets are big. Closets for my ladies, they're big. And so how I usually advise people is we have to start small. If you look at everything, the whole thing, you can get overwhelmed and your motivation can just diminish. So, I say, get those small wins in. Okay. So, we're at the entryway. Maybe just start with one thing. I always say, I like to use my senses to put things together. And so, I say, okay, how can I incorporate my five senses into the entryway? What I see, what I feel, what I smell. And just start with one thing. It may be the entryway table, the top of it. Okay. I'm going to take everything off of that. And I'm going to reset that today. I have that small win and then build on it. Tomorrow, it may be the shoes. Okay. The shoes. I'm going to create a system for the shoes. And the small wins is what equals the big... You know the story of the tortoise and the hare where you run that... You don't run that fast race with organization. You run the small race. Take your time. Yeah.   Laura Dugger: (11:39 - 11:57) Okay. That's helpful. So, when we're taking our time, do you even have a specific time limit? If somebody is just an average person with the average amount of stuff, if they want it top to bottom, their ideal home, is there a regular amount of time that that takes?   Nikki Boyd: (11:57 - 13:50) So, what I like to do, and I do this in my home still to this day, is I assign every room has a month. And so that way I'm very intentional. I'm focused on the whole house. I'm able to be very intentional. So, say the... I always start with the home office in January because that's when we need to go through our home files. That's when it's getting tax season. And so that's a great home office month. And that way you have all month to focus only on the office. So, I usually say, let me take the first three days and just sit in the office and think, okay, what works in here? What doesn't work in here? What do I desire for the space? And just kind of give yourself a couple days for that. And then the next day it'll be, the next few days will be about decluttering. Let me get everything out of this room that does not serve me in my current lifestyle, current life, because we want our homes to represent our life today, not our life 10 years ago. And so, then it's about taking a week and just decluttering the space. And then the next week it's about cleaning. Okay, now that we got all this stuff out, let's spend a couple of days cleaning. So having a whole month for a room, it really allows you to really be intentional, take your time, not stress yourself out, incorporate the family. And it's a great way of maintenance plan ongoing. So even though my home feels organized all the way through, it's great for maintenance because organization is not something that you do and you never have to do it again. It's just like cleaning. I wish I could clean one time and it's clean for the rest of my life, but that's not the reality, especially not with family. And so, the same with organization. So, I would recommend that, just kind of assigning every room in your house a month. Laura Dugger: (13:52 - 18:01) I like that pace. And I guess it's initially surprising, but Jesus always seems to have a certain pace that is wise and sustainable, and it does often surprise us.   We'll come back shortly after a brief message from our sponsor.   With over 28 years of experience in real estate, Sue Neihouser of the Sue Neihouser team is a RE-MAX agent of Central Illinois, and she loves to walk alongside her clients as they unlock new doors. For anyone local, I highly recommend you call Sue today at 309-229-8831.   And you can ask her any real estate questions. Sue lives in Central Illinois and loves this community and all that it has to offer. When unlocking new doors with her clients, Sue works hard to gain a depth of understanding of their motivations and dreams and interests in buying and selling their home.   And then she commits to extensive market research that will give them confidence in their decision. Sue truly cares for each of her clients and the relationship she forms with each family along the entire home buying or selling process. This was absolutely our experience when we worked with Sue and her team.   The house that we desired at the time was actually not even on the market, but Sue had a connection and was able to ask those homeowners if they would be willing to sell. She was timely in her response as she walked us through this whole process, and she helped us sell our home with the right offer coming in hours after it was listed. We kept saying she's thought of everything, and Sue's continued generosity was astonishing.   I remember one afternoon after we had settled into our new home and she was knocking on the door dropping off a goodie bag for our family that came from the local bakery. Our daughters also loved getting to know Ms. Sue as she assisted us in finding truly our dream home. So, whether you're looking to buy a home for the first time or looking to upgrade or downsize or making the big decision to move to an assisted living from your home of many years, Sue will be there to help you navigate the big emotions and ensure the process is smooth and stress-free and that the new doors to be unlocked are ready and waiting for more memories to be made.   So, call her today at 309-229-8831 or visit her website at sueneihouser.com. Thanks for your sponsorship.   Nikki, I love choosing a theme for every episode with a scripture verse, and we always include it at the top of our show notes for each episode on our website. So, the one that I selected for today is found in Ecclesiastes 5:13, and it says, "There is a grievous evil, which I have seen under the sun, riches being kept and hoarded by their owner to his own misery." And that just stood out at me when we were planning this conversation. And it reminds me of something that I noticed about the book written, I think I'm saying her name right, by Shira Gill. And it's the one where you were featured. So, it, for anybody who hasn't read it, it highlights various organizers. But you all seem to share this similar conclusion that in America, the most common problem that leads to disorganization and chaos in all of our homes is simply holding onto too much stuff. So, will you share more of your experience with this, whether that's for yourself or with clients that you've worked with?   Nikki Boyd: (18:02 - 20:46) And it's hard because we live in a society where consumption is encouraged. We can't look, right? And so, it's a hard battle to fight. And then it's multiple people in the home a lot of times. So, you got multiple people bringing in stuff. And so, it's important to really have decluttering as a focus always in our home and having a system to just kind of move things out in a timely way, because it's a struggle because we build this attachment to stuff, you know, and we build it up for different ways. Either we paid a lot of money for it, so we can't, it doesn't fit, but I paid good money for this, so I got to keep it, even though it doesn't fit, you know, or someone gave it to us. I really don't like it, but so-and-so gave it to me. So, I have obligation, you know, that sentimental obligation.   But one tool that I have used over the years that has been really successful in helping me rid myself of clutter is to think about it in a way of, I'm being selfish. And so there, you know, I don't ever use this cup. I do, but I'm just saying, I don't ever use this cup. There's somebody out there that needs a cup that could be blessed by it, but it's sitting right here in my home. And I have the opportunity to move it on to be a blessing to someone else. So, when I look at things in my home that I'm not using, I would say, Nikki, stop. That can be right now blessing. And I pray, but I pray, God, please help this to get where it needs to get. Please help it to go where it needs to get. And so that has really, for me, been a way to really, and not only for myself, but for my family, to encourage my family to say, hey, there's somebody out here that could use this toy. There's a kid out there that really, they don't have any toys, but if we donate it, their parents can afford this toy, you know? So just, you know, really thinking outside of ourselves with the stuff and thinking on how we can really serve others with it. There might be even people in our community, young couples that are just starting out, you know, we have silver pieces that we never used. We might've got it 20 years ago and never used it, move it on to someone else, you know? So that's really helped me with decluttering.   And then having a system for it, you know, having a system in your home where you really, really are actively moving things away from your home, you know? And so, one system that I love to use is having a place where I can just drop things that, like a basket that every time I see something that, oh, yeah, that could bless someone, boom. And then that way you can just kind of put it, keep it in, take it to your trunk of your car. And the next time you pass in through a donation center, you can donate it. Yeah.   Laura Dugger: (20:47 - 21:00) That's good. And that gives us purpose in this process. I really like that. So, can you give us, do you even have a recommendation just for the very best place if we want to start decluttering today?   Nikki Boyd: (21:01 - 23:14) In your home, you mean like where to start? Yes. Okay. Remember I said, start small. So, one thing that I recommend is going in your kitchen because I have not met a person who has not had what they call a junk drawer. And I don't like calling anything in our homes junk because we don't have junk in our homes. We have beautiful homes, right? And so, I like to call it the utility drawer. So go in your kitchen. If all the listeners go in your kitchen today and open that utility drawer, and that is the starting point. And what you want to do is the first step you want to do is you want to give yourself an immediate boost by just taking everything out of that drawer and sitting it on the counter and looking at your beautiful empty drawer. That's that instant motivation that you get from seeing it clean and empty. And then the next step is just to give it a nice wipe down and clean so that you know that this is your new, not junk drawer, utility drawer. Rename it. It's important what we say, you know, how we speak, you know, what we come out of our tongue. So, utility drawer. And then from that point, you have all the stuff there. And the first way to start tackling it is because if you're looking at a big pile of stuff, you don't know what you have a lot of times. So, we have to get like items together so that we can realistically see what we have. And so just take a couple minutes and just at the counter sort like items together, pins, sticky notes, just get all those like items together. And then you have a clear visual of, okay, why do I have 20 lighters? I don't burn candles like that, you know. So, then you say, okay, so I'm going to keep two lighters and then everything else goes to donate and just work your way through each category. But what you've done is you've broken it down, something that's a big blob of clutter into something that's reasonable to assess and then deal with. And then from that point, what's left, you then start with the fun part of putting it in your drawer, creating your sections, and then saying, okay, you know what? How about I donate all these lighters and just keep the pretty green one that I love? So that's how I recommend. So, start with that one junk drawer. And once you have that success, you've built the motivation to then move to another part of your kitchen.   Laura Dugger: (23:15 - 23:31) Okay. That's so interesting too, just even how you say pausing to appreciate that beauty of an empty drawer. And it is true that I think even clearing things out, that is an automatic win that makes the space more beautiful.   Nikki Boyd: (23:32 - 24:42) Yes. It feels good. Because you're feeling lighter, right? You got all the junk and stuff, let's not call it stuff, over to the side and you feel lighter. And even as hard as it is to declutter for a lot of folks, they feel so good after it's done. It feels so good once you get that stuff away from you. So, it's the same, you're feeling lighter. It gives you just a kind of room to breathe a little bit, and you don't realize it because we go through our day just working and living around all this stuff that really is just kind of heavy.   Laura Dugger: (24:43 - 24:47) Absolutely. Yeah. Kind of open up the windows and air it out.   Nikki Boyd: (24:47 - 24:49) Open up the windows. Yes, yes.   Laura Dugger: (24:50 - 25:07) Well, maintaining home order and organization becomes a lot more complex when we add more people into our home. So, what's the best way to begin both decluttering and organizing the kids' spaces in our homes?   Nikki Boyd: (25:08 - 30:07) So, when I work with families, a lot of times they want to jump right in and say, okay, they want to talk about the stuff and all that. And I always kind of say, let's back up a little bit because we don't want to go in and create all these systems and then try to introduce it to the family because a lot of times that doesn't work. We have to get everybody kind of together. And one thing that's huge for me, my parents instilled it in us as family meetings, like weekly family meetings, because just like if you think about a company, a company, if they did not have their team meetings and everybody just came to work and did their own thing, they couldn't be successful. No one's on the same page. No one's communicating. No one understands the mission and the goals, and you can't be successful that way. So, it's the same with our family. If we don't talk about our goals, if we don't have a mission statement for our family, how do we know as a family that we're on the same accord and how do we move? We live in the same space. So, it's important to kind of establish a family meeting, whether you even do it every two weeks, even if it's once a month, but just having that time where you come together as a family so that you can all be on the same page.   And I talk about this in my home planner, Beautifully Organized Home Planner, is establishing that mission statement. And that's so important because, especially for our kids, so that they know kind of how we move within our family. And so, as a child, I actually didn't know this, but as a child, I got my mission statement for my family as a child. The very first scripture, Joshua 24:15, my mom, do you remember the little bread box that had all the scripture? You pick a scripture a day. And the very first scripture I ever learned was, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." The very first, and it's always stuck with me. And so that was when I became an adult, that became our mission statement for our family. And so, it makes it easy to kind of set the tone. And when you have the family meetings, you always want to set the tone with your mission statement to kind of keep reiterating that.   But then you want to also move into having those check-ins. A family is always coming and going all the time, right? And so family meetings give you the time to say, everybody go around, kind of, how are you doing? What's your highlight of the week? And what did you struggle with this week? And that gives you that moment to really make sure everybody is okay. One, the family meetings, you're teaching your kids how to communicate, how to work out problems, how to manage things. Have you ever had that situation where your kid comes to you at nine o'clock at night and said, hey, I got a school project due the next. We need to go to Walmart. I got a school project due. I need a poster board. Family meetings solve that problem because in that meeting, you're talking about, okay, what are our needs for this week? You know, what's the schedule this week? A lot of times as women, we take on a lot of the home responsibilities that really we should be teaching our kids so that when they leave the home, they have it. How to load a dishwasher, how to fold a towel. You can incorporate these small teaching lessons in the family meetings, you know? So, there's so many just benefits from that one, implementing that one system in your home, family meetings. So that's, for your listeners, that's the first thing that I would do. Set a time for family meetings. You may get resistance in the beginning. Push through. Because I tell you, when they get older, they will remember that and they will appreciate the time that you took to really bring the family together and have those meetings, even if they're kind of not appreciating it as young teenagers or kids. But that sets the tone. And even if you're single and you live alone, have your family meeting. You're still a family. You know, have that meeting where you sit down and you look at your budget, you look at your schedule, you look at kind of check-ins with yourself. You know, what was the tough for me this week? What was, you know, so whether you're a family of one or a family of 10, you know, that's the first start in that.   The next start is to not create systems on your own. You want the family to be a part of the process. So, one of the issues, I'll share a real-life issue that I really had in my home was I had, we're empty nesters. And so, it's just my husband and I and our two Yorkies. And my husband, he is who he is. I'm not trying to change him. When he comes in, he's going to put the work shoes here and he's going to drop this. You can follow the trail. And so, I was like, okay, by the front door, we don't need these shoes, you know? And so, I was like, okay, what can I do about the shoes to make him comfortable and me comfortable? So, I came up with, we got family shoes. So, I got these family shoes. They're the same shoe. They look kind of like, what's the shoe? Like clogs, but they're waterproof. What's the ones everyone has?   Laura Dugger: (30:08 - 30:09) I'm blanking on the name.   Nikki Boyd: (30:09 - 31:39) I can't remember. But anyway, they're shoes that, you know, I said, okay, these are home shoes and they're color coded. I have yellow, he has blue, but the simplicity of it being the same shoe takes away the visual color when you, visual clutter when you walk in the house. And it's great because we put them on to go walk the dogs. We go in and out all the time. We put them on and that's the only shoes that stay by the door, but it works. So how I had the buy-in, because if I just bought those shoes and put them there, he would probably walk past the shoes, and you know. So, what I did was I was like, honey, can we make a beautiful tray? I got this idea for us having home shoes. Can we make a tray? So, we Saturday, him and I together, we built this tray. He got out there doing this and he was invested because he built the tray. I ordered beautiful gold labels with his name on it, metal labels and very intentional. And it's gorgeous sitting by the door. It's so cute. He's sitting by the door and he has buy-in now because he made that tray. He's proud of that tray and he uses those shoes. He loves those shoes. And so, when we create systems, we want to make, find ways to incorporate the family so that they have a connection to the system. You don't want to just go put a bin or a basket and they expect the family to all kind of have buy-in with it. So that's how I would kind of move forward with incorporating the family with that kind of thing.   Laura Dugger: (31:40 - 32:30) I love all of that. And really, I just absolutely adored your recommendation for the family home meetings. I loved reading about that in your books. And one of them, it was from the Beautifully Organized Home Planner. You laid out even these titles. I'll just read a few of them. Going over the family schedule, meal planning, home issues, successes and struggles, home needs, like you said, maybe a family need for a field trip or home products to purchase, and teaching time, such as how to budget or how to fold a towel. And I love those practical tips. So, are there any other success stories from your family or others or final tips that you want to share about that home meeting, that family meeting specifically?   Nikki Boyd: (32:31 - 33:40) One tip that I think could be very helpful is when it comes to the meal planning, because that's always a stressor for a lot of families, coming home, what are we going to have for dinner? I didn't meal plan. So, one thing you can do is create a list, a running list of all your ideal meals for your family. It may be spaghetti and meatballs or steak and potatoes, just different meal combinations. And that is your master list of meal combinations. Then in your family meetings, it's not necessarily about trying to figure out meal planning. You just have every family member, okay, pick your meal that you want for the week. So, everybody is kind of contributing. If you're cooking five days out of the week, everybody picks a meal from the list. So, it's like you don't have to kind of think up a combination. You just kind of pick and plug and play. You know what I'm saying? So, I would recommend that creating a master list of combination meals, and then everybody just kind of choose a meal or you can use it solo. You can say, okay, I'm just going to shop my list and put it on the calendar. So that solves a big problem. That's been very useful for a lot of families when it comes to meal planning.   Laura Dugger: (33:41 - 33:55) Okay. I literally am going to start that today. Usually, my husband and I will come together and sync up our calendars and everything for the week, but this is good motivation. I think it'll be so much more beneficial to include the whole family.   Nikki Boyd: (33:55 - 34:27) And also, what's great about that is all of these things have multiple benefits. The other benefit for that is you're teaching the kiddos how to kind of coordinate, how to come together and coordinate together our meal for the family. Also, if you have that picky eater, you can kind of get buy-in because they've had the opportunity to really choose what we're eating. And so, they'll have a little more buy-in because that was their selection. So, there's several benefits from having the family put the meal plan together.   Laura Dugger: (34:28 - 34:40) I love that so much. And Nikki, do you also have suggestions for the simplest ways to stay on top of all the paper that comes into our home?   Nikki Boyd: (34:41 - 39:27) When you asked me in the beginning, what's a big problem? I didn't mention that, but paper clutter is huge. In fact, before the podcast, I had a client session and that's what we dealt with was paper. And so, one thing is just figuring out how can I stop the paper from coming in? Let's stop the problem, try to kind of halt the problem, and then we'll deal with the backlog. So, one is with mail. So, I like to say treat mail like it has a disease, like it has COVID or something. You don't want COVID in your house. So okay, when I go to mail, as I'm walking from the mailbox, I'm kind of like pulling. And then another thing is to have a sorting station. So, if you have family members that multiple people that have mail, or even if you're single and you have mail that's like maybe bills, and then you have maybe magazines, you can have a sorting system right in your kitchen or wherever you tend to drop that mail. But instead of having a basket where it just kind of piles up, have more of a sorting system.   And so, I like recommending... In fact, can I grab it real quick? Because in my session, I was sharing this with my client. Because so say you have, I love something like a box like this. It's an acrylic box and it's multifunctional in the fact that you can put your family calendar down in the front. And because it's acrylic, you can use a dry erase to kind of put your calendar items on. So, it's double duty. So, on the counter in the kitchen, you have your family calendar, or you can use it for the meals or whatever you want. But then you have your hanging files, and you can have one for each family member. Because sometimes you have kids in college that live at home and they get mail or your husband or whatever, or however you want to set it up. Everybody has your phone. That way when you come in, it's easy to drop in there. And I would even have one for magazines. What I would not allow in here is junk mail. I would take junk mail directly to the trash. I would also try to kind of eliminate as much junk mail coming into my mailbox. So, if you can stop getting the advertisements and getting the things with your bills, doing more electronic statements versus having to mail the statements, that can always be a game changer too. But this could be a great system for the mail and it's neat and clean and it kind of minimizes the paper clutter when it comes to that.   Another way is paper clutter that outside of mail that a lot of folks have is just like their home files. So, they don't really have a system for keeping home files. And so, it just tends to create piles around the house. And so, I've always, and again, when I told you that, you know, I had all those jobs in the past. And so I was in England, I was a registrar at a school, and I learned about a binder system there. They kept all their files in binders. And that's what I use for my home files ever since, because it was just like a light bulb. It was my aha moment. And it's basically having a binder for kind of the different categories of things that you need to keep on file. So, your home mortgage paperwork. So, I have one file where all the homes that you bought, you keep all of that paperwork in there. You have one for vital records, you know, just different things that you keep, you have in a binder. And it just is a really efficient way to create that home management, you know, that home file system and not have the papers all over.   With that, one thing that, so with that, like even with the system that I showed with the mail coming in, you have to tack on that component of, okay, I have to address things. So even if you come in and you put the mail in there, you have magazines in one, you have your mail, you can't just leave it, or it starts to pile up and that will get crazy. So, what I do is I always say Fridays at 2 PM is my cutoff. So, every Friday at 2 PM, I have to, before I go into my weekend, I have to clear out. So, setting a, just a intentional time that you do a clear out. So that is the component that a lot of people miss. Some people are good about putting things in a system, but that follow-up. And so, with any mail system or any filing system, you have to have that, that component. And I like to tie it to my weekend, just like if you were working a job, you know, you have to, if you don't clock out, you might not get paid. Right. They need to see that timecard, you know, back in the day now. But the same with, with this, before I start my weekend, I gotta clean up the mail bin.   Laura Dugger: (39:29 - 40:49) By now, I hope you've checked out our updated website, thesavvysauce.com, so that you can have access to all the additional freebies we are offering, including all of our previous articles and all of our previous episodes, which now include transcriptions. You will be equipped to have your own practical chats for intentional living. When you read all the recommended questions in the articles or gain insight from expert guests and past episodes, as you read through the transcriptions, because many people have shared with us that they want to take notes on previous episodes, or maybe their spouse prefers to read our conversations rather than listen to them or watch them now that we're offering video rather than just audio. So, we heard all of that, and we now have provided transcripts for all our episodes. Just visit thesavvysauce.com. All of this is conveniently located under the tab show notes on our website. Happy reading.   You also teach that another crucial factor of maintaining a beautifully organized home is keeping it clean and tidy. So, what's a realistic cleaning schedule that we could try out?   Nikki Boyd: (40:52 - 43:11) So, the thing that is just a game changer is the 10-minute sweep before you go to bed. Taking 10 minutes and just walking around your house and in 10 minutes, everybody in the house stops and just do whatever you can do. Put the remote control back, clean up the dinner dishes. Because if you think about it, if you're a family of four, 10 minutes is 40 minutes. That's 10 minutes of work per person. So that's a 40 minutes of cleaning. So that's one thing is incorporate a 10-to-15-minute sweep every night before you go to bed. And that's just walking around doing whatever you can do to pick up. Not structured, just everybody just pick up for 10 minutes, play music, play a song and do it for five minutes.   The other thing that works for a lot of folks that I've shared is when you end your workday or end your day, add on an hour. So, what I used to do is when I worked outside the home, when I got home, I used to love watching Law and Order all the time. And so, I would get on and I would put Law and Order on and that was a one-hour episode. And I would not sit down, and I would do everything for that one hour. I would clean up, I would get my clothes ready for the next day, I would prep dinner. So, I always told myself, I don't get off work at four o'clock, I get off work at five o'clock. And so, I had Law and Order in the background, it made me feel like I wasn't just not miss cleaning. I've grown since then. Now I love my inspirational music more. That was back in my day. We grow. But that one doing it that way, adding, tacking on an extra hour, it was great because the rest of the evening I had for myself. I mean, clothes were picked out, dinner was done, house was clean, no pressure. And so sometimes what we do is we come in and then we get distracted by the kids asking for this or doing this. And then we sit down, let me sit down a minute from work. And it just is, it takes our time. It just, it takes our time. But if we're very intentional about, okay, no, I'm not off work yet. Let me do this. And then I have the rest of the evening.   Laura Dugger: (43:12 - 43:26) So that's good. And I feel like that's kind of low hanging fruit that we can apply right away. Are there also any tips you have for what we should be doing weekly or monthly or quarterly or even annually?   Nikki Boyd: (43:27 - 45:37) Yeah, there's different routine. I think there's there in my book, I have it broken down. I think when you think of cleaning, you want to think of it, you have daily cleaning, you have weekly cleaning, you have monthly cleaning, and then you have quarterly cleaning, seasonal cleaning. Because there's seasonal things that you want to do to, again, go back to saving that time, saving that stress. And it's things like cleaning out the vents and even having the air conditioner service so that when the summer hits, you're not dealing with an issue. So, if we have these systems in place to tackle our cleaning at certain points, then it really solves a problem from having issues.   And so, what I would do is I would sit down and I would say, okay, the sweep that I talked about 10 minutes, that's a daily. So that would be my daily thing. And then I would not create a system at this point for me, I don't like to have to think about outside of my 10-minute sweep cleaning every day. I just don't. And so, I would just say, create a routine where you could maybe have one day a week where that's where you're tackling kind of the bulk of your cleaning, such as if you're mopping floors and handling your floors, handling the deeper items, dusting, those are weekly. So, I would do those weekly. But daily, the sweep, that helps maintain all of the other stuff in dishes daily, you have to do that. I like doing a dishwasher system of my family know, don't put anything in the sink. When you wake up, my job is the dishwasher stays empty for them. And then that way they always know dishes don't touch a sink, dishes touch the dishwasher. And then I make sure to have it unloaded by the morning at the start of their day so that they can then always unload. So, there's little systems like that to help keep things maintained as far as cleaning up, but I just don't encourage having a routine where you feel like every day I have to just spend a lot of time cleaning. But that 10-minute sweep is the secret weapon guys, the 10-minute sweep.   Laura Dugger: (45:38 - 45:57) I love it. And even the dishes example, it really doesn't take more effort to put it into the dishwasher. So, I love time-saving tricks like that. Are there a few more helpful ways that you can share how we can maximize function throughout our home?   Nikki Boyd: (45:58 - 50:39) Yeah, sure. So, God has given us a beautiful thing in our senses and what we see, what we taste, what we smell. And so, I'm always, you hear me say that all the time, use that tool he gave us to implement the systems in your home. So, when you go in a space, say, okay, when I walk in this space, how can I engage what I hear? How can I engage what I see, what I taste? And use that to start implementing the system of organization. And then the first step that I always tell everyone outside of that is, if you have a home right now that you feel it's just overwhelming, you don't know where to start, the family's just all over, it's just, we got a lot going on and I don't have time even at night because I got to go somewhere tonight. So, what I'll say is one, give yourself grace, start there, breathe, it's going to be okay. And remember, you can do this. The next thing is give yourself a small win, just immediately go to the utility drawer and say, that's the first, for everybody, that's the first thing, give yourself, because it's a proof to you, you know you can do it.   And then next, when everybody goes to bed tonight, get you a cup of tea or your preferred drink and go sit in the first space that's frustrating you, the main space. And don't put pressure on yourself to try to figure it out. Don't run out to the store trying to buy things and say, I'm going to get this place in order, the worst thing you can do. Just go have a cup of tea and sit in that space and breathe. And I promise you, and I think it's the point of just letting God, let you relax and give you the information you need to do what you need to do. And I find that when I sit in the space, it saves me money, it saves me time because I'm not going on my own accord, going out, running the target. I'm sitting here and I'm thinking, okay, this is a lot, this is a lot, help me figure this out. And when, after I just sit there and be, I start the process of just trying to figure it out and say, okay, the first step I'm going to do is I'm going to go get a box and everything that's trash, I'm going to put in here and get rid of all the trash and just steps, incremental steps, trash, then things. Okay. I'm going to shop. And I like using that word shop. I'm going to shop my room, this room, this is the room of the month. I'm going to shop this room for help. Who can I bless? Who can I, what can I take and bless? You know what? I really don't, I don't use this. Let me send that off. And then you'll start lightening your load. So that's kind of the steps I would take. It's not the traditional step of walking in and it's just, let's declutter. Sometimes you got to sit back, and you got to be a little bit before you, you jump in so that you make smart decisions.   One thing, please don't ever, I never encourage anyone to just kind of get motivated and say, okay, run a target and buy a bunch of bins and baskets. And I'm going to come back and organize the pantry. It's a temporary fix because you haven't given yourself the opportunity to just really think out what you really need. And a lot of times you have what you need right in your home. It's about thinking outside of the box. For example, yeah, I could go out and buy an expensive jewelry box, but this is my jewelry box. I had this beautiful bowl in my kitchen. I was like, oh, this is the perfect jewelry. I love it. It's easy. It functions. I don't have to open anything when I want my bracelet. It has just my jewelry that I'm wearing in this life. It's gorgeous. No one knows what it is. It works. So, a lot of times in our home, things are multifunctional and we don't even think about it. For example, I like sitting out little games and cards in my office to remind me to do something fun before I start work. This is a soap dish I had. This is where I keep my little cards in my soap dish. It used to be a soap dish, but now it's a beautiful card rest and it looks so cute. So, I challenge you not to go out into the store and consume more, but think about how can the things that I do love, how can I bring new life to them and use them to incorporate in my home to help function? So, there's so many things, even that tray that I talked about for the shoes, you might have a tray that's sitting on your dining room table that you could use for a shoe tray. So that's another thing to think about when you're implementing systems in your home.   Laura Dugger: (50:40 - 50:50) I love that. Okay. So that answers some of the function, but you're also starting to tie in beauty. How can we level up our style in our home as well?   Nikki Boyd: (50:50 - 54:24) Yeah. So, the thing with style is everybody's style is different. And so, what I find a lot of times when I'm working with folks is they Pinterest and they'll see all of these things and that's what they feel they want, but they seem to never can achieve it. And it's actually because I find a lot is because they have their own style and they need to tap into that instead of tapping into everyone else's. I think it's good to use inspiration. I love inspiration but use it as that to bring you back to what you truly love, because you don't want to go paint your wall green and think, oh, I really don't like green. I forgot about that. So that's one thing is to really know that we all have our own, God's given us all our own. We're all different. We're all special. We all have a beautiful style about ourselves.   And I'm going to say it again, because it's such a powerful tool. Those senses, that is the secret weapon to incorporating style in your home. So, when you come in and you say, okay, let's take the entry way, for example, again, we go to the entry way, because that's such an important part. That's the first space that welcomes people. Okay. When someone comes into my home, how can I engage their sense of taste? Ah, I'm going to create a little drawer. I have these little bowls here. I'm going to put little bowls in the drawer and I'm going to put mints in different candies so that when guests come over, I can say, hey, before you leave, make your little candy bag or grab some candy taste. What can I do with the sense of touch? Now, so I always like to have a bench in my entryway because I love to sit and look out the door when I have my coffee in the morning. So, I put a nice cozy blanket there so that I can have that sense of touch. So just walk your way through and challenge yourself. Okay. What I see. Okay. Oh, flowers. We need something that... So, use those senses and then say, okay, I'm going to incorporate one for each one. And that's a great tool to use to help if you're... Because some folks are like, I don't have, I don't know how to incorporate beauty. That's a way, a tool you can use to help you kind of try to implement it.   And then challenge yourself to only shop your home. Don't go outside the home for it. I did that with my recently with my entryway. I was like getting bored with how it was looking and I was like, ah, okay, Nikki, challenge yourself. How can you totally redecorate your entryway and beautify your entryway without buying the thing? And so, I had in my attic, my old kitchen table and its white kitchen table from my previous home. I said, oh, let me use that. Instead of having a bench in my entryway, I have a center round table now. And it's just a whole different look. I went to my guest and then I was like, okay. And this is the other thing. I was like, oh, I want a different color in here. Well, I was like, hmm, I got yellow in my guest bedroom. So let me shop my guest bedroom and pull a few of those and I can add it into the entryway. I took some books. I took some things and I had a new entryway in no time. So that's a wonderful way to do it. And a lot of times too, if you have a lot of books in your home, take those covers off of your books. You would be surprised how they have beautiful linen and embossed gold and different colors. And that's just such a beautiful way to display, create beauty in your home. It's just kind of looking behind those covers and then displaying your books that way. Yeah.   Laura Dugger: (54:24 - 55:03) I'm a book lover. So that speaks to me for sure.   Nikki Boyd: (54:28 - 54:28) Yeah.   Laura Dugger: And so, speaking of books, then I loved your quote on page 15, where you talk about this process of decluttering and organizing that leads to a place where, here's your quote, where life becomes more meaningful and enjoyable and it all starts at home. So, Nikki, we've talked about how to start with our home, but if we consider our whole lifestyle as well, are there any other additional ways to elevate both our function and our delight?   Nikki Boyd: (55:04 - 57:46) Yes. So, when you are living within your home, you want to think about it being your vacation spot. You know, when we go on vacation, we have expectations, right? We want to feel good. We want to relax. We want the nice hotel room. But ideally the thought process should be, we want that at home because that's where we're at most of the time. That's, you know, where we, you know, our family nurturing, we nurture our family, all the things. So, step one is to think about how do you start your day. If you, for me, I can't do the alarm clock. You, you wake up to this banging. That's a stressful way to wake up. So, think about how can I wake myself up and make it on time without it being so stressful? And what I've come up with is I have a clock that is, it's a sunrise clock where it wakes you up slowly with the light. It kind of just eases you into your day like sunlight. And it has been a game changer for that. Even if you don't do that, does your spouse get up before you? Talk with your spouse and say, “Hey, I want to get away from the alarm clock. I know you get up before me. Can you just wake me up by kissing me on my cheek?” Just wake me up with a kiss. That's, you're going to be my alarm clock. Okay. You'll find those creative ways to have a better start to your day.   You know, even that night, my husband and I, we started a while ago where we sleep to inspirational Christian music. And it is a game changer for how you wake up. And it's just listening to that all night, not too loud, just softly on. It just, when you wake up, you are just in a whole different mood, you know? And so that's one simple thing to implement to have a great start to your day. And even playing instrumental worship music all day throughout your house, it changes the atmosphere. It changes the environment, you know? So again, going back to those senses, what do we see? What do we hear? So just your routine is so important. You know, we talk organization but incorporating that routine in our home is so important. You know, even when our kids come home from school, do they run into chaos? We're fussing. No, get that, get that. No, no, no, no. Say it's, no, don't get me wrong. It can be hard as a mom. It can be hard, but we have to, before we walk in the door, talk to ourselves and say, okay, I'm going to set the tone for my children when we come in. We're going to set the tone. And it may be sitting down and laughing before we get into homework and doing the things. And so, but being intentional about creating those routines. Yeah.   Laura Dugger: (57:47 - 58:04) So much wisdom packed in. And one other thing that I appreciate about you is the high value that you place on the hospitality. So, will you share all of your best practices and motivations as it relates to hospitality?   Nikki Boyd: (58:05 - 1:01:36) Yes. In fact, I just did this weekend at my, I'm the hospitality coordinator at church. And so, I just did a training with my hospitality team. So, I'm fresh off of this. So it was, we had a blast, but you know, it's hospitality. And I want to say this to anybody, anybody, we all have that ability to do it. And you don't have to have a big, beautiful home. You can live in a cardboard box and have a beautiful time. I've had my most beautiful experiences have been in small apartments where we're all sitting there and we're just having a great time. And that's the best memories. So, it's about, how can I create a beautiful experience for anyone who walks through this door? And so that's what you want to think about when you're trying to create a home that has a beautiful element of hospitality embedded in it.   And so, for me, again, simplicity. One thing I said in the training this weekend is I had a white serving bowl and I said, take two minutes and give me 20 uses for this bowl that does not pertain to food. And so, they thought about all kinds of things. A simple bowl with a little intention can do great things. So, something you have in your home, as simple as it is, it can have the opportunity to serve so many people, can be so hospitable to so many people. So, it's just about using that creativity with the things that we have and also about being present. When people come in our home, you want to be present. It's not about, you know, because I, whenever I'm asked, who do you, what woman in the Bible do you most connect with? And a lot of times I say Martha, because I can tend to be that person. I'm so busy trying to get everything right and doing, I'm missing the point. The point is to be with that person. The point is to sit down and be hospitable and to just create that memory. And so, I always tell people, I'm trying to get away from my Marthism and just really, really, when someone comes over, it's about really sitting down and being with them and creating that memory. And so just have fun with it, you know, and don't feel like, I always tell people, don't feel like you have to have the best or have to have the biggest menu. That's not, that's not what you need.   Now, one thing, a tip that a friend did share with me that is a good tip to share is always have something out small, like a bowl of nuts or a little charcuterie cheese, something on your table, because it's a good tool. If you see people grabbing for it, that means they're hungry. So, then that cues you, let me offer them something to eat. Or let me, you know, so if people are snacking, that means they're hungry. You know, if they're grabbing content, so it's a good little tool to see if you need to kind of just put something else out or offer something else. You know, also having water, just simple things, having water right in your entryway, having on a tray as they walk in. I always like to have a welcome beverage. So, when you come in, if it's winter, having hot chocolate, a craft with some hot chocolate, when people come in, giving them a, you know, a nice welcome gift that tells people that, you know, I'm happy you're here, you know, so just, you know, and be creative. There's so many things that you can do with what you have that can just really make people feel so special.   Laura Dugger: (1:01:37 - 1:01:42) I'm not surprised that you're the hospitality coordinator at your church. That's amazing.   Nikki Boyd: (1:01:43 - 1:01:44) I love it. I love it.   Laura Dugger: (1:01:44 - 1:01:57) And if we want to continue learning from you, can you share the places where we can go to follow you for more inspiration and more about the work that you offer that we could reach out or inquire about?   Nikki Boyd: (1:01:58 - 1:02:28) Yes, yes. I'm At Home with Nikki all online and it's, I spell my name N-I-K-K-I and my website is athomewithnikki.com and then social media and all the places At Home with Nikki is the brand. And I do virtual organizing sessions. So, I work with women all over the world in their homes every week. And so, on my website, you can learn more about that. And yes, I do YouTube over 900 videos of talking about all the stuff. So, you definitely check that out too.   Laura Dugger: (1:02:29 - 1:02:49) That is incredible. We will add links to all of those places in the show notes for today's episode. But Nikki, you may be familiar that we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for you today, what is your savvy sauce?   Nikki Boyd: (1:02:50 - 1:03:23) I would say my savvy sauce, and you probably, Nikki, you've been talking about it the whole time, but it's just so, it just so is, is the senses. Like everything I do, I'm always like, how can I engage that? And I'm so thankful to God for that, because it's like, it helps me solve problems all of the time. So, whether I'm planning a meeting, okay, how do I engage their senses? If I'm entertaining, how do I engage their senses? If I'm organizing, okay. So that is my savvy sauce is those senses that God gave me. So, it's the tool that I use all the time.   Laura Dugger: (1:03:24 - 1:03:59) I love it. Even with you using the visual aids today that came alive, but Nikki, you are just an absolute joy. And I wish I lived closer and could come be a guest in your home and learn firsthand from you. And have a cup of coffee around the table. But this has just been a treasured conversation. And so, I just want to say thank you for boldly stepping into this calling that the Lord gave you. You're clearly blessing so many of us through exercising your gifts. So, I just want to say thank you for being my guest.   Nikki Boyd: (1:04:00 - 1:04:02) Oh, thank you for having me. I'm blessed to be here. Thank you.   Laura Dugger: (1:04:02 - 1:07:18) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his o

Strength can help us survive the hardest seasons of life—but what happens when that same strength becomes the very thing keeping us trapped?   In this powerful episode of The Art of Feminine Negotiation, Cindy Watson sits down with Anette DeMattio to explore "When Strength Becomes a Cage"—a thought-provoking conversation about resilience, survival, and the hidden costs of always having to be strong.   Anette DeMattio is a six-time cancer survivor, author, speaker, and creator of The Too Strong Method. As a National Board Certified Executive and Health & Wellness Coach with more than two decades of experience and a Master's degree in Organizational Psychology from Columbia University, Anette brings a unique perspective to the emotional, physical, and spiritual impact of living in survival mode.   Together, Cindy and Anette explore what happens when resilience becomes an identity, why being "the strong one" can make it difficult to ask for help, and how people can begin reconnecting with themselves beyond years of simply surviving. Discover how true strength may not be about carrying everything alone—but about knowing when it's time to release what no longer serves you.   In this episode, you will learn:   What is the cost of ignoring the internal negotiations happening within ourselves? How do we negotiate with ourselves and negotiate with others? How can strength help build our success and how can we recognize that our strength has crossed the line? How to negotiate effectively. The small steps that we can take to start renegotiating that relationship with ourselves. And many more!   Learn more about Anette:   Website: https://anettedemattio.com/home Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/anette.demattio/                   https://www.facebook.com/groups/3356961904568580   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anettedemattio/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPrkLgvv9AjbFf4VY4SSR4w Email: anette@anettedemattio.com   Checkout her books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Desislava-Dimitrova/author/B0FFNX85LV?ref=ap_rdr&shoppingPortalEnabled=true   If you're looking to up-level your negotiation skills, I have everything from online to group to my signature one-on-one mastermind & VIP experiences available to help you better leverage your innate power to get more of what you want and deserve in life. Check out our website at www.artofFeminineNegotiation.com if that sounds interesting to you.   Get Cindy's book here: Amazon   https://www.amazon.com/Art-Feminine-Negotiation-Boardroom-Bedroom-ebook/dp/B0B8KPCYZP?inf_contact_key=94d07c699eea186d2adfbddfef6fb9e2&inf_contact_key=013613337189d4d12be8d2bca3c26821680f8914173f9191b1c0223e68310bb1 EBook   https://www.amazon.com/Art-Feminine-Negotiation-Boardroom-Bedroom-ebook/dp/B0B8KPCYZP?inf_contact_key=94d07c699eea186d2adfbddfef6fb9e2&inf_contact_key=013613337189d4d12be8d2bca3c26821680f8914173f9191b1c0223e68310bb1 Barnes and Noble   https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-art-of-feminine-negotiation-cindy-watson/1141499614?ean=9781631959776   CONNECT WITH CINDY: Website: www.womenonpurpose.ca Website: www.practicingwithpurpose.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/womenonpurposecommunity/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenonpurposecoaching/ LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/thecindywatson Show: https://www.womenonpurpose.ca/media/podcast-2/ X(Twitter):  https://twitter.com/womenonpurpose1 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@hersuasion Email: cindy@womenonpurpose.ca  

Wait it Gets Better is An Improvisational Storytelling Podcast.   This Week we interveiw Author Robby Dube Author of Fantasy Novel "Ursa" We Discuss Story Writing, World Building and the Publishing Process. Check Out His Book on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.   Questions? Comments? Waititgetsbettercast@gmail.com

In this week's episode, I take a look back over the last fifteen years and recount how I learned to write quickly. This week's coupon code will get you 50% off the audiobook of Ghost in the Stone, Book #5 in the The Ghosts series, (as excellently narrated by Hollis McCarthy) at my Payhip store: FALLSTONE The coupon code is valid through September 28, 2026. So if you need a new audiobook this fall, we've got you covered! TRANSCRIPT 00:00:00 Introduction and Writing Updates Hello, everyone. Welcome to Episode 320 of The Pulp Writer Show. My name is Jonathan Moeller. Today is September 11th, 2026, and today I'm discussing how I learned to write fast. Before we get to all that, we will have Coupon of the Week and a progress update on my current writing, publishing, and audiobook projects. This week's coupon code will get you 50% off the audiobook of Ghost in the Stone, Book #5 in The Ghosts series (as excellently narrated by Hollis McCarthy) at my Payhip store. That coupon code is FALLSTONE. As always, we will include the links and the coupon code in the show notes for this episode. This coupon code will be valid through September 28th, 2026. So if you need a new audiobook this fall, we have got you covered. Now let's have an update on my current writing, publishing, and audiobook projects. For Blade of Visions, which is my main project right now, the rough draft is done, the first editing pass is done, and I'm hoping to start on the second editing pass as soon as I finish recording this episode. So if all goes well and nothing unexpected happens, I very much hope that the book will be out a week from when this episode goes live. So a week from whenever you listen to this, check your favorite ebook store and hopefully Blade of Visions will be there. And of course you can always listen to this podcast and watch my website and social media for other announcements. My secondary project is Elven-Warlock, the seventh book in the Rivah Half-Elven series. I am currently 16,000 words into that. As soon as Blade of Visions is published, Elven-Warlock will then be my new main project and if all goes well, I hope to have that out in October sometime. In audiobook news, as I mentioned last week, Blade of Thieves and Cloak of Worlds should now be available at all the different audiobook stores. Hollis McCarthy is currently recording Cloak of Summoning and we should have some updates on that soon. In a bit of exciting audiobook news from that or related to that, I should mention that Hollis McCarthy was announced as a finalist for Narrator of Distinction for the Professional Audiobook Narrators Association for her work on Cloak of Embers, which was Cloak Mage #10. So if you get a chance, be sure to congratulate Hollis for that if you hang out on my social media pages. So that's where I'm at with my current writing, publishing, and audiobook projects. 00:02:25 How I Learned to Write Fast Now let's move on to my main topic, how I learn to write fast. Occasionally I will see a new indie author looking with dismay at how much time it takes to write and expressing the opinion that it must be impossible to write a million words a year without the aid of generative AI. Ha, no. I should point out that I wrote a million words in 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020 and back then the current AI tech bros were still searching for the big scam that would one day make them rich. They tried crypto and NFTs in the interim. ChatGPT would not be inflicted upon the world until the end of 2022. Admittedly, I didn't write a million new words in 2021, 2022 and 2023, but that was from a combination of personal issues taking up time and illness. I still hit between 800,000 and 900,000 in those three years. In 2024 and 2025, I wrote a million new words. I might or might not hit a million new words in 2026, and it largely depends on how the rest of the year goes. I had to take a lot of time off in spring and summer, and that really slowed me down. I did hit 700,000 words once Blade of Visions was done, so we'll see what happens the remaining four months of the year. But yes, if you're writing full-time, a million words in a year is certainly achievable, though as with all things it takes practice and can be subject to events. With that in mind, I thought I would explain how I was able over time to ramp up to writing a million new words in a year. It was less something I set out consciously to do when I started this in 2011 and more a step-by-step evolutionary process that took several years. By the grace of God, I have been indie publishing for almost 15 and a half years now. So here's the process of how I ended up writing a million words in a year. #1: Tech Writing Back in the second half of the 2000s, I used to do a lot of tech blogging, mostly about Linux, and I also did tech support, which frequently involved writing FAQs and guides for how to connect your Blackberry or Windows Mobile device to the company email or whatever. In retrospect, Blackberry and Windows Mobile were both terrible operating systems, so it's not surprising the iPhone and later Android blew them out of the water. Anyway, tech blogging taught me the value of writing quickly. Back then, you could still make money off Google AdSense, and so if I could write quickly on a tech topic, I could post it, get Google traffic, and then make a little bit of money from Google Ads. Writing FAQs and guides also taught me the value of writing as concisely and as clearly as possible. President Franklin D. Roosevelt famously said of public speaking that the best approach to public speaking was "be sincere, be brief, be seated", and that's also true of technical guides. Back then, I was working on novels as well, specifically what would end up becoming the first three Caina books, but I never wrote more than a thousand words a day of fiction unless I was bored or I was really inspired, neither of which happened all that often. #2: Soul of Serpents By the end of 2010, I had sworn off trying to get traditionally published and decided to focus on tech blogging, but then I got my first Kindle after Thanksgiving in 2010, and I realized there had to be a way to make money off this thing. This led me to discovering Kindle Direct Publishing, Barnes & Noble, Smashwords, and the other early self-publishing platforms. I published Demonsouled, Soul of Tyrants, and the first three Caina books, and then I decided I'd write one more Demonsouled book to finish off the story. It always annoyed me to no end that I'd never gotten to write a sequel to Soul of Tyrants, but now that the opportunity was here, I decided that I would have a Demonsouled trilogy and Soul of Serpents would be the last novel I would ever write, which goes to show I may not be that great at telling the future. Soul of Serpents was the first book I ever wrote specifically intended for self-publishing instead of submitting it to legacy publishers. I wrote it over the summer of 2011, and I figured if I wrote 1,500 words a day, I could get the rough draft of the book done by the end of the summer, which I did, and I ended up publishing it at the end of August of that month. That was also why I made Demonsouled and Child of the Ghosts free for the first time, which meant that their sequels started to sell a little bit. I was actually beginning to make a little bit of money off my novels for the first time in my life, which was very exciting. It also meant that I wanted to continue the Demonsouled series past the third book, which leads us to the next phase of our story. #3: Soul of Dragons In the second half of 2011, I was extremely busy. I had a full-time job and I had a part-time job that required a lot of off-the-clock preparation. Despite that, I was determined to write Soul of Dragons, so I pushed onward when I could. This was when I began writing during my lunch break for the first time, but I often didn't get to my 1,500 words a day during lunch. So by the time I got home at the end of the day, which was frequently between 9:00 and 10:00 PM, I would frequently squeeze in my remaining words (sometimes all my words), before I went to sleep, only to wake up at 5:45 AM to go to the gym. This level of workload, as you can imagine, was absolutely exhausting, and I don't recommend it, but I still did it. I think it was necessary to learn to write a novel under a state of extreme strain since that was good practice for the 160 books that would follow Soul of Dragons. If I wrote only when I was perfectly calm and there was nothing else demanding my time or attention, I would never get any writing done at all. I really hate to give career advice to younger people since so much of the advice they receive these days is obsolete at best and malicious and condescending at worst. In economic terms, 2026 might well be another planet compared to 1976 or 2000, but sometimes in life you really do have to put in a maximum effort over a sustained amount of time (even if it's approaching midnight, you have to get up in five hours, and you still have 500 words to go before you can sleep). That said, if at all possible, I would advise only putting in that kind of effort if you're working for yourself and not for an employer that will lay you off the instant the stock price dips slightly. It took a while, but I did it. Soul of Dragons came out in February of 2012 and sold pretty well. By this time, the books were selling well enough that while I didn't want to go full-time, they were providing a nice cushion against the unexpected vagaries of life. My full-time employer was also heading towards trouble, so I decided to keep writing. #4: Ghost in the Storm My next book in early 2012 after finishing Soul of Dragons was Ghost in the Storm. Like with Demonsouled and Soul of Tyrants, I was always disappointed that I never got to continue Caina's story past the end of Ghost in the Blood, and so I was excited to start Ghost in the Storm. Little did I know that Caina's story would continue for another 30 books past that. I wanted to write faster, so I settled on a goal of 3,000 words a day for Ghost in the Storm. I would write as much as I could in the morning, then over my lunch break, and then finish my 3,000 words, hopefully in the evening before I went to bed. I very distinctly recall that in March of 2012, I was in the process of moving to a new apartment. I bought a couch and scheduled it to be delivered that morning at about 10:00 AM. So I took the morning off, brought my laptop and a folding chair to the empty apartment and wrote, and I kept writing and writing, and the couch never showed up. Finally, in exasperation, I had run out of my hours off, so I had to go to work only to get the call at 4:00 PM that the couch guys had finally showed up and needed me to let them in. I begged them to stay where they were, broke the speed limit to get back to the apartment, and arrived just as they were walking back to their truck. Thankfully, I was able to convince them to deliver the couch. As annoying as that day turned out to be, it worked out well because I got the new couch and I also wrote a bunch of Ghosts in the Storm, which ended up coming out towards the end of April 2012. #5: Ghost Aria In summer 2012, I wrote Soul of Sorcery, which was a huge book that took a long time to write, but it was also the first book I ever wrote that made it to any bestseller list of any kind on amazon.com, which was a pleasant milestone. After Soul of Sorcery, I started working on Ghost in the Stone and finished it up in early 2013. For both Soul of Sorcery and Ghost in the Stone, I had stuck to 3,000 words a day. By then, I had started working more on marketing, so I had an email newsletter. It had occurred to me that giving something away for free in the newsletter might be a great way to drive newsletter engagement, and I'd always liked writing short stories back in the 2000s. So why not write a bonus short story related to the book and give it away for free? So that was where Ghost Aria came from. It was the first short story I gave away for free with my newsletter. Since then, I've written hundreds of short stories and given away tens of thousands of them, so I think it was a good decision. #6: Dual projects In 2015, I had the opportunity to write a tie-in novel for a game product, which I wanted to do, yet I hesitated because I was working on Ghost in the Inferno at the time, and I knew Ghost in the Inferno would actually sell and make some money. The tie-in book was a roll of the dice, but it was a good enough opportunity that I wanted to take it, or so it seemed at the time, but I didn't want to stop working on Ghost in the Inferno, so I did both. Ghost in the Inferno was my main project, and the game book was my secondary one where I squeezed out a couple hundred words a day. Once Ghost in the Inferno was done, I finished the game book relatively quickly. Of course, nothing ever came of it. The game company and the book company fell out and then respectively went out of business, and the game tie in book never saw the light of day. I would've been better off not writing the tie in novel, except I gained a valuable skill from the experience. Before that, I had only ever worked on one fiction project at a time. Now I had taught myself to do two at once. Ever since then, I have followed my primary/secondary project model while trying to get as many words down as possible in my primary project, but I also write 250 words or so of my secondary project before I go to the gym in the morning while I'm having my coffee. So when I finish my primary project, I'm usually about 10,000 to 20,000 words into my secondary project, which gets promoted to my new primary project. For example, Blade of Visions is almost done, but my secondary project, Elven-Warlock, is currently at 16,000 words, so that gives everything a nice little speed boost. I suppose this is yet another example of the lesson that if you're going to work really, really hard on something, if possible, you should be working for yourself and not on spec for someone else. Anyway, the primary/secondary project system has been really helpful to me, especially after I went full-time, which we will discuss next. #7: Time for Full-time So that was the paradigm I followed for the next four years from 2012 to 2016. I aimed for 3,000 words a day and mostly kept to it. I usually ended up writing between 500,000 and 600,000 words a year. I finished Demonsouled and The Ghosts and started on Frostborn and Ghost Exile, and then on a whim started writing Cloak Games in 2015 as a secondary project. 27 books later, Cloak Games/Cloak Mage has likewise turned out to be much longer than I thought. Frostborn also really took off in 2016, which was nice. I would've been perfectly content to continue working full-time and writing as a side gig, especially since I no longer had that part-time job because the books were paying better. That said, I knew in the back of my mind I could go full-time if it became necessary, especially if my employer went under or had layoffs. I admit going full-time started to become tempting as I took on more work and responsibilities after the layoffs. From 2012 to 2016, I got up at 4:30 AM every workday so I'd have time to get everything done. Admittedly, that's not a big deal and lots of people have to do that, yet I admit to this day, I still find 4 in the morning the worst time to get up to use the bathroom or to wake up before a long road trip or whatever. Somehow waking up and seeing 4 on the clock just seems so hateful. Ironically, for all the time I spent thinking about layoffs and preparing contingency plans about what I do afterward, I never actually got laid off. In 2016, I ended up needing to move to a new US state for a combination of family and personal reasons, so I had to quit. I thought about finding a new job in the tech field, but decided the time had come to start writing full-time. Since this was now my full-time job, there was no reason not to write as much as possible. In fact, that was probably a good idea if I wanted to eat, and that's when I started to trying to hit a million words a year. #8: The Rest of the 2010s So from 2016 onward, I wrote full-time. I had a million new words in 2016, 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2020. I finished Ghost Exile and started Ghost Night, finished Frostborn and Sevenfold Sword and wrote most of Dragontiarna. I finished Cloak Games, started Cloak Mage, and I wrote, I think, the first nine books of Silent Order and also finished Malison. I also started doing self-published audiobooks in 2018 with Child of the Ghosts and Frostborn: The Dark Warden. 2017 was my absolute peak for word count since I hit 1.4 million words that year. Not surprisingly, that was probably my best year of sales ever since I finished Frostborn and started Sevenfold Sword in 2017, but I did hit a million words every year for the rest of the 2010s, including 2020. However, after 2020, there was trouble ahead, and you've probably guessed what it is. #9: Fun with COVID 2020 was a productive year for writing since I reached 1.2 million words and I took some Photoshop classes, which turned out to be really valuable in terms of cover design and creating marketing and ad images. It's pretty rare that I don't use Photoshop for something at least once a day now. However, as it would turn out, my big long-term problem was that the gyms in my local area closed for a long time during COVID, and I never found an adequate replacement for them. I ended up gaining a bunch of weight (with all the related health concerns that causes). In 2021, I only reached 974,000 words. Not a big deal. I thought. I'll hit a million next year. However, that didn't work as well because for a variety of personal health reasons in 2022, I only reached 814,000. I also tried a couple of new things during the early 2020s that really didn't work. In 2021, I published the two Cormac Rogan books, which people liked, but it really didn't have an audience. In 2022, I published the first book of what would become the Stealth & Spells Online trilogy, and that didn't sell very well because I misread the audience for LitRPG. Essentially, the LitRPG market wants Isekai/portal fantasy or system apocalypse type stuff, and I've written a science fiction thriller with LitRPG elements. Then in 2023, I actually got COVID, and that just laid me flat for six weeks. I barely got any work done in May and about half of June, and I realized I was going to have to make some changes. #10: Rivah Half-Elven to the Rescue First of all, I realized that I was doing too much by myself. I thought about stopping audiobooks and the podcast entirely, but instead I hired an audiobook proofer and a transcriptionist/researcher to help with that. Second, I still wanted to try something new. Cormac Rogan and Stealth & Spells hadn't worked all that well, but in April of 2023, I'd written about 8,000 words of what would become Half-Elven Thief. When I got sick over the summer, I stopped working on it to focus on finishing Dragonskull and the Silent Order series, but at the end of 2023, I dusted off the Word file, finished it, and published it in December of 2023. It had a substantially stronger first month than Stealth & Spells, so it was time to embark on the Half-Elven Thief series. #11: The Super Summer of Finishing Things I also realized that I gotten too scattered with five ongoing series at once. I decided to cut it down to three. So in the summer of 2025, I finished The Shield War, Stealth & Spells Online, and Ghost Armor. My ongoing series would be Blades of Ruin, Cloak Mage, and Half-Elven Thief. I wouldn't start on a new series until I finished one of these. From summer 2023 onward, things improved a good deal over 2021 through 2023. Audiobooks were a lot easier to do with an audiobook proofer to do the final listen, so I've done quite a bit more of those. From 2024 to 2026, I got my weight back down to a pre - COVID level with a lot of calorie counting and exercise (aided by sublimating the desire to snack into blowing up space pirates in Starfield). I did hit a million new words in both 2024 and 2025. As I mentioned, I'm not sure if I will hit a million words in 2026 or not. As I said earlier, I had to take a lot of time off this year, and it will depend on how the rest of the year goes, but I think 900,000 will be definitely achievable. #12: So What Have We Learned From All of This? As you can see, while I can write a million words a year, it took a long time to learn how to do it and a lot of practice, and if enough other things demand time and attention in a year, it's not going to happen. I think the biggest keys to writing as many words as possible in a year are persistence and tenacity. There will be many times you don't want to write, like at midnight when I still had 500 words to go on Soul of Dragons before I could go to bed, but you will need to push through and get to it. Maybe you cut back a little on time-wasting activities like TikTok, doomscrolling, and TV, especially TikTok. It is distressing to see people repeating the nonsense they see on TikTok as absolute fact. Or maybe you learn to type on 15-minute bursts in your phone in those odd blocks of time like waiting rooms or being on hold that would otherwise go to waste. I have read interviews with several people who wrote their novels on their phones while taking the train to and from work. Tenacity is also important. If you wait until circumstances are perfect to write, you will never get anything written. Granted, there are times when writing has to take a backseat to more important things in life. That's okay, that's as it should be. If you can't get a thousand words written, aim for 500. If you miss one day, then tomorrow is another day and you can try again. That is also true over a long time scale as well. If I miss writing a million words in one year, well, tomorrow is another day and next year is another year. And of course, thank you for reading all the books. There'd be no point in writing a million words a year if people didn't read them. So that is it for this week. Thank you for listening to The Pulp Writer Show. I hope you found the show useful. A reminder that you can listen to all the back episodes at https://thepulpwritershow.com. If you enjoyed the podcast, please leave a review on your podcasting platform of choice. Stay safe and stay healthy, and we'll see you all next week.  

What actually happens when academic research meets the boardroom?    Peter Winick sits down with Nate Bennett — professor of management and faculty director of the Executive MBA program at Georgia State University's J. Mack Robinson College of Business — for a candid look at the gap between what business scholars know and what business leaders actually use. Bennett has spent his career straddling three audiences: students preparing to lead, practicing managers looking for answers, and fellow academics who reward each other for depth over accessibility. He explains why so much scholarly work is, by design, written for a room of a handful of other researchers — and why that's not necessarily a flaw. The real skill, he argues, is knowing how to translate that work for people who don't have the patience for a slow academic build. In front of executives, you have to get to the punchline fast. But speed isn't the whole story: Bennett makes the case that curiosity and humility matter just as much as expertise, and that professors who walk into a room assuming they have nothing left to learn rarely land well. The conversation also turns to a subject on every thought leader's mind right now: AI. Bennett doesn't mince words about what's happened to platforms like LinkedIn, where he says the signal-to-noise ratio has collapsed under a wave of AI-generated posts. His take on the right way to use the technology is refreshingly practical — think of it as an invisible assistant, not a ghostwriter. He shares how he uses AI to reformat dense research into readable tables, and reflects on what schools should really be protecting when they worry about students using it to cut corners: not information recall, but the ability to think and read. This is a conversation for anyone trying to figure out where real expertise ends and real relevance begins — and what to keep, and what to let AI handle, along the way.   Three Key Takeaways: • Academics write for three different audiences, and confusing them is a common trap. Scholarly work aimed at moving other researchers doesn't automatically translate into insight a practicing manager can use — the two require different pacing, structure, and even goals. • Curiosity and humility outperform "having the answer." Entering a room of executives assuming you're there to fill them with knowledge shuts the exchange down; entering curious, and open to having your thinking shaped by the room, produces a far better session. • The best use of AI is invisible. Rather than publishing AI-generated takes, the more valuable approach is using AI behind the scenes — as a tireless research and formatting assistant — while what actually gets published still reflects the author's own thinking.   If Nate's take on translating dense expertise into ideas people actually act on resonated with you, that's exactly the terrain Peter Winick, Bill Sherman, and Naren Aryal cover in The Thought Leadership Handbook. Drawing on more than 700 conversations from this very podcast, the book lays out the same tension this episode explored — how to build ideas rigorous enough to hold up and accessible enough to spread — into a practical framework you can apply to your own thinking.   Order The Thought Leadership Handbook today on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, or directly from Amplify, and learn more at thoughtleadershiphandbook.com.

HIGH TOWER MINISTRIES, Int. — Evangelist Dawn Ausley "UNSTOPPABLE GOD: TAKE THE LIMITS OFF" Prepare your spirit for a direct, faith-charging word as Evangelist Dawn Ausley brings a bold, uncompromising message about our Unstoppable God. With her signature to‑the‑point speech and fearless Holy Ghost boldness, Evangelist Ausley challenges believers to take the limits off—to stop boxing God in with small expectations, past disappointments, or human reasoning. In this powerful broadcast, she declares with clarity and conviction that: ·         God is not restricted by what you see ·         He is not confined by what you fear ·         He is not slowed down by what the enemy tries ·         He is not limited by what you think He can do Evangelist Ausley speaks straight to the heart, urging viewers to expand their faith, elevate their expectation, and believe God for the miraculous without hesitation. Her message cuts through doubt, breaks through discouragement, and awakens a fresh confidence in the God who cannot be stopped, blocked, or hindered. If you've been wrestling with limitations—internal or external—this episode will empower you to step into a new level of trust and bold belief. You will walk away knowing that your God is unstoppable, and your faith must be too. Share this broadcast with your friends and get ready to experience the unlimited power of God! Get connected with us and watch "Greater Glory" on the High Tower Ministries, Int. Facebook Page! Sundays at 9 AM and Wednesdays at 7 PM for inspiring messages that will raise your faith and grow you in the Word! Don't miss a message, Follow Us on Facebook: https://linktr.ee/hightowerministries Bookings/ Churches / Conferences: Bookings@HighTowerMinistry.org  FREE DOWNLOAD / Website: www.HighTowerMinistry.org   Unlocking Glory and the Unlocking Glory Study Guide are available on our website (signed copy with free shipping within the US). Also available on Amazon and Barnes and Nobles.  

Comics writer and Yeti friend Christof Bogacs returns to talk with Byron about releasing two new middle-grade graphic novels at one bloody time: Lex Luthor: Diabolical Genius from DC Comics, a comedic Lex-vs-Batman caper with artist Valerio Chiola; and the deeply personal Earth to Chris Cleevy, a semi-autobiographical story about Christof's own journey growing up with OCD. We dig into writing villains kids can relate to, reimagining Slade Wilson as a katana-wielding bodyguard (love that), the Artemis Fowl influence behind Lex's new world, and how they turned their own mental health journey into a story built around coping tools instead of easy cures.

  Join us for a powerful and inspiring edition of Testimony Tuesdays / Healing Prayers as we welcome special guests and author Sand Martin Hudgins and Gary Hudgins. Together, they will share their remarkable testimonies of faith, perseverance, healing, and God's transformative power. Be encouraged as Sand and Gary discuss their life journey, the inspiration behind their writings, and how prayer has played a vital role in overcoming challenges and strengthening their walk with God. This uplifting conversation will offer hope, encouragement, and spiritual insight for anyone seeking healing, restoration, and a deeper relationship with Christ. Don't miss this moving time of testimony, prayer, and empowerment as we come together believing for miracles, breakthrough, and renewed faith. Tune in and experience the power of God's love and healing presence. Testimony Tuesdays / Healing Prayers—where faith is strengthened, lives are transformed, and testimonies inspire hope.   Share this broadcast with your friends and get ready to experience the unlimited power of God! Get connected with us and watch "Greater Glory" on the High Tower Ministries, Int. Facebook Page! Sundays at 9 AM and Wednesdays at 7 PM for inspiring messages that will raise your faith and grow you in the Word! Don't miss a message, Follow Us on Facebook: https://linktr.ee/hightowerministries Bookings/ Churches / Conferences: Bookings@HighTowerMinistry.org  FREE DOWNLOAD / Website: www.HighTowerMinistry.org   Unlocking Glory and the Unlocking Glory Study Guide are available on our website (signed copy with free shipping within the US). Also available on Amazon and Barnes and Nobles.  

Prophetic Outlook 5787: Standing at the Divine Doorway Step into a powerful, Spirit‑charged broadcast as Apostle Cara Nordeen releases the Prophetic Outlook for the Hebraic Year 5787—a timely word carrying clarity, direction, and supernatural alignment for the Body of Christ. In this episode, Apostle Cara unveils what the Spirit of God is highlighting as we cross the threshold into a new Hebraic year. This is a season marked by shifting, transition, and divine repositioning, and the Lord is inviting His people to recognize the spiritual landscape and step boldly into what He is opening. In this prophetic message, you will discover: The significance of entering 5787 and what Heaven is emphasizing The transitions and shifts taking place in the spirit realm How to discern the prophetic season we are currently walking in What it means to stand at a divine doorway—a moment of destiny and decision Insight and impartation to help you move with God and not miss your moment This is not just another teaching—it's a prophetic summons to align, advance, and step through the doorway God has set before His people. Expect revelation. Expect confirmation. Expect activation. 5787 is a year of movement. A year of crossing. A year of divine access. You will not want to miss this prophetic release. Share this broadcast with your friends and get ready to experience the unlimited power of God! Get connected with us and watch "Greater Glory" on the High Tower Ministries, Int. Facebook Page! Sundays at 9 AM and Wednesdays at 7 PM for inspiring messages that will raise your faith and grow you in the Word! Don't miss a message, Follow Us on Facebook: https://linktr.ee/hightowerministries Bookings/ Churches / Conferences: Bookings@HighTowerMinistry.org  FREE DOWNLOAD / Website: www.HighTowerMinistry.org   Unlocking Glory and the Unlocking Glory Study Guide are available on our website (signed copy with free shipping within the US). Also available on Amazon and Barnes and Nobles.

This episode is presented by Mightier. In 1988, Jaime and Tracy Parent were stationed in England when their son Bryan was diagnosed with autism. There was nothing out there. No resources, no roadmap, no Rain Man yet. What they found instead was other families, and Jaime says that has been their best resource ever since. Jaime is a retired Air Force lieutenant colonel with twenty years of service, and a family that moved every three years. Every move meant starting over. New doctors, new teachers, new school district, and a lot of guesswork about which house to buy so they landed in the county with the services Bryan needed. In this Seen and Heard conversation, he talks about the day clinicians at a UCLA residency program asked what their goals for Bryan were. A job, drive a car, balance a checkbook. He says the looks on their faces were pure pity. You poor delusional people. Bryan is an adult now. He works at Publix, he lives at home, and he competes in Special Olympics bowling, soccer, and basketball. He also tells the wrestling story. Bryan made the team at Oakland Mills High School in Maryland with no shortcuts, wrestled heavyweight, won matches, and went to regionals, states, and nationals. The first time Jaime watched him wrestle, Bryan got pinned in about thirty seconds. His dad calls it one of the biggest wins of their lives. Then there is the part aimed at the rest of us. Jaime's advice to other autism families is four words: don't become a wallflower. His message about bureaucracy is that there are big boulders everywhere, but get past them and you will find angels. And his message to military families is one you need before you separate. Autism does not end with your military service. Jaime B. Parent and Elizabeth Tracy Parent are the authors of The Mission at Home: Navigating Military Assignments, TRICARE, Education, Benefits, and Everyday Life with Your Child on the Autism Spectrum. Available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. SPONSOR This episode is presented by Mightier. Mightier is a biofeedback video game program developed and tested at Boston Children's Hospital. Your kid wears a heart rate monitor and plays games that get harder when they get dysregulated and easier when they calm down, so they practice regulation in their own body at a moment when they can feel it working. Visit mightier.com and use code theautismdad22 for 10% off. Rob's book, So Your Child Was Just Diagnosed with Autism, comes out December 29, 2026. Preorder at theautismdad.com/book.

Lauren Burns shares her kidnapping (age 7) by her Jordanian Muslim father, the miraculous rescue that brought her home after three months, including her mother's fasting and prayer and the intervention of ex-military veterans who located Lauren when JD Roberts, while praying, and the miracles that followed.  Lauren shares how the aftermath included PTSD, changing her name, moving 14 times, and staying hidden for years, and how writing her book, STOLEN, and launching the Redeemed Podcast have been both costly and healing as God has called her to speak publicly. All of this while being mom and wife and a full time physical therapist is miraculous in itself! She explains forgiveness as surrendering bitterness to Jesus-not forgetting or excusing wrong doing and describes redemption through community, restored relationships, and family.  Lauren's new book Lauren's FULL Original testimony on YouTube Lauren's website and podcast links NEW Everyday Miracle compilation book on Amazon: https://a.co/d/45cgbP8 Everyday Miracle compilation book on Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/everyday-miracles-julie-hedenborg/1146173449?ean=9798881501808 Subscribe to Julie's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@everydaymiraclespodcast1395 Website for Everyday Miracles (APPLY!): http://everydaymiraclespodcast.com/ To follow Everyday Miracles Podcast on itunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/everyday-miracles-podcast/id1447430033   On Social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/everydaymiraclespodcast/ Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/everydaymiraclespodcast/ tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@everydaymiraclespodcast X: https://x.com/miracles9598 linkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/julie-hedenborg-452028a7/ To email Julie directly:   everydaymiraclespodcast@gmail.com  

Kathryn and Coach Julie explore nervous system regulation and how it can support binge eating recovery. You'll learn tools to help you feel more grounded, make better decisions, connect with your higher self, ride out harmful urges, and avoid letting difficult emotions turn into harmful actions. Regulating your nervous system can bridge the gap between knowing what you want to do and actually following through in challenging moments. Get Coach Julie's Free Nervous System Regulation Tools Module Julie Mann Coaching Brain over Binge resources: Get the FREE 30-day Inspiration Booklet Get personalized support from Kathryn with one-on-one coaching and group coaching.  Subscribe to the Brain over Binge Course for only $18.99 per month Get the Second Edition of Brain over Binge on Amazon and Audible, BarnesandNoble.com, Apple iBooks, or Kobo. Get the Brain over Binge Recovery Guide   Disclaimer: *The Brain over Binge Podcast is produced and recorded by Brain over Binge Recovery Coaching, LLC. All work is copyrighted by Brain over Binge Recovery Coaching, LLC, and all rights are reserved. As a disclaimer, the hosts of the Brain over Binge Podcast are not professional counselors or licensed healthcare providers, and this podcast is not a substitute for medical advice or any form of professional therapy. Eating disorders can have serious health consequences and you are strongly advised to seek medical attention for matters relating to your health. Please get help when you need it, and good luck on your journey.

Lamentations 3:25 NLT “The Lord is good to those who depend on him, to those who search for him.”   *Transcription Below*   Mike Blackaby serves as a church planter in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, where he lives with his wife, Sarah, and their four children. He holds a PhD in Worldview and Apologetics from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He is the author of several books and Bible studies including God, Heroes, and Everyday Dragons, Experiencing God in Everyday Life and Straight to the Heart: Communicating the Gospel in an Emotionally Driven Culture. Listen to his sermons.   Daniel Blackaby is the author and co-author of nine books, including Experiencing God in Everyday Life, 7 Steps for Knowing, Doing, and Experiencing the Will of God and God, Heroes, and Everyday Dragons, as well as the imaginative fiction trilogy The Lost City Chronicles. Daniel holds a PhD in Christianity and the Arts and a ThM in Philosophy, Apologetics & Worldview from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. He speaks on cultural engagement, Christianity and the arts, apologetics and reaching the next generation for Christ. He is the founder of The Collision (thecollision.org), a multimedia ministry designed to help Christians thoughtfully and biblically engage with culture and the arts. Daniel is married to Sarah, and they are the parents of twin boys.    Blackaby Website   Thank you to our sponsor: Sam Leman Eureka   Questions and Topics We Cover: How has faith been strategically passed along in your family to the next generation (and how can we do the same?!) How do your families personally preserve these stories of the generations of faith? Can you tell us more about Spiritual Markers and share how we can use this practice in our family to disciple our children?    Related Savvy Sauce Episodes: Brain Science and Spiritual Abundance with Ken Baugh Theology and Discipleship with Ken Baugh Gospel Truth for Salvation and Sanctification with Hunter Beless   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:09)   Laura Dugger: (0:09 - 1:45) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   The principles of honesty and integrity that Sam Leman founded his business on continue today, over 55 years later, at Sam Leman Chevrolet Eureka. Owned and operated by the Bertschi family, Sam Leman and Eureka appreciates the support they've received from their customers all over central Illinois and beyond. Visit them today at lemangm.com.   Mike and Daniel Blackaby are my guests for today. They come from a long line of incredible generational faith, and so they're going to share some stories about how they've inherited this rich legacy, and then also inspire us to do the same in our families. They also are authors of this recent resource, Experiencing God in Everyday Life.   Here's our chat.   Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Mike and Daniel. Glad to have both of you joining and would you first mind both introducing yourself and share your connection to Dr. Henry Blackaby, and maybe tell a few stories about his life to illustrate how his legacy has helped shape the heart behind this recent study.   Mike Blackaby: (1:46 - 5:00) Sure. My name is Mike Blackaby. I'm the oldest grandson of Henry, so I'm not gonna say that he loved me the most, but he loved me the longest of all of his grandkids, and I remember we lived close to him for a while, and then far, and then close again, so it was interesting being around him when we were teenagers, and then being around him later on as our own children were being born, sort of two significant times in our lives where we lived close, and I just remember when I was a teenager chatting with him about, what am I gonna do with my life?   What am I gonna do after high school? You know, like what everybody tries to figure out, and his advice was really just, if you follow God one day at a time, then you'll be exactly where you need to be in 10 years. You don't necessarily have to plan out your whole life. God has a plan, and you trust him today, and you'll end up where you need to be tomorrow, and so I've really taken that advice ever since then, and so I was grateful for that, especially at the time when I was trying to figure out, what am I gonna do with my life after high school graduation?   Daniel Blackaby: Yeah, I'm Daniel Blackaby, his second oldest grandchild. He would have probably said his favorite. Yes, second oldest, first favorite, and I live down here in Atlanta, Georgia, actually in the same neighborhood that he lived in. I came on to work for the family ministry, so kind of got to overlap with him the last couple years of his life, which was just a blessing to see him up close. Obviously, we grew up around him at various stages, but just kind of see him finish well, and to have both Mike and I have kids.   Our oldest kids are around the same age, and I think one of the memories, I was gonna share the one that Mike just shared, but I think one of the memories that, I don't know, was meaningful for me came near the end, and I actually wasn't even there personally, but the last picture, actually, that was taken of my grandfather before he passed away was actually him with my two, I have twin boys, and my father was gonna be on the road traveling, and he had stopped by, and I was busy doing something, but he took my kids, and they got to spend a bit of time with him, and there's a picture with them kind of by his chair, smiling, and I just sort of had that last moment. I think that's, and then he passed away, I think just a couple days after that, but the last time any of the family got to see him, and for me, it's just such a testimony of his faithfulness. He has his great-grandchildren around him, and being able to be blessed by him, even at the end of his life.   He had the opportunity to travel the world, do amazing things, but I think his, for me, his lasting legacy is just the way that he inspired his family, that he lived in such a way that even his great-grandchildren are inspired by his faith, and want to hear more about his story. So even though I wasn't there, that picture of my two kids sort of representing my family has just been a really meaningful one for me.   Laura Dugger: (5:01 - 5:12) Such a life well-lived, and I'm so curious, how has faith strategically been passed along in your family from one generation to the next?   Mike Blackaby: (5:14 - 10:41) Well, the funny thing is, I don't know that it's always been super strategic. In some ways, I think it's been organic. We didn't always maybe do all the things that you would expect a family to do. We didn't sit down at dinner time and have family devotions and stuff. I think we tried it for a while, and it never really took, but for us, when we watched our parents, both our mom and our dad, and aunts and uncles and grandfather, so many people live out their faith, it was just very real for them. There was never this sense of, I'm just doing this, or that they were different behind the scenes than they were when they were in ministry.   We got to see them on stage preaching, but then in the car on a road trip when they're frustrated with us annoying kids in the back, and there was no hypocrisy. It was the same thing, and I think something that's always stood out for me is, so much of our family was in ministry, so not just even in the faith, but in active Christian ministry, and we just never really heard our parents bad talk the church. There was lots of issues. There's always issues, and there's always things that happen, and it didn't mean that they wouldn't call out sin when there was sin, and not that, but this sense of, they always talked positively about God's church and about ministry, and I don't know, I think the more people I talk to, I think maybe that's not super common.   I think sometimes people, maybe especially pastor's kids, get turned off of it all because they see behind the scenes how, oh man, this is not good, and my dad, he served these people, but he kind of hated these people or whatever, and we just never really got that sense. It was very personal. It was very consistent. It was very authentic, and it was very positive, even though our dad and mom dealt with issues in ministry, and people are messy, right? You're gonna deal with that anywhere, but they're like, the church is God's plan A, and there is no plan B, and so my whole life, I've tried to be very, very slow to criticize the church in general.   A lot of people love to do that. I'm very slow to criticize something that God loves and Christ died for. It's not perfect, and there's issues that need to be pointed out for sure, but we just had a very positive example, I think, growing up, and so for myself at least, I was fearful of stepping into ministry because I was like, I can't preach. I can't get up in front of people, that sort of thing, but I also saw it as a great privilege. I didn't want to do it, but it wasn't because it was a bad thing to do. It was almost because it was such a good thing to do, and I didn't feel like I could or I was worthy of it or whatever, but just a very positive example, and the more people I talked to, the more rare that seems to be the case of people growing up in ministry families.   Daniel Blackaby: Yeah, I think too, like Mike said, it wasn't necessarily always strategic as far as super scheduled, or we do this at this day, but I do think strategic is to build on what Mike said as far as just the mindset. Like our family was always very intentional, not just about not bad talking and being negative, but to celebrate where God has done things, like very much a value on just telling the stories of what God has done, either currently of just, hey, this happened today, or else just sharing stories of, hey, have I ever told you the story about your grandpa when he did this, or what God has done in the past, to the point that even like my kids who were, wouldn't have been born until decades and decades after those stories, and never even probably heard them firsthand from my grandfather, or even the generations before their great-great grandfather, know a lot of these stories because they were just, we would tell them, we would share them, we'd celebrate the things that God has done in the past, the things God has done in the present, so I think maybe not strategic as far as, okay, this is our Bible time now, from whatever, 10 to 10:30, but I think very strategic as far as just, we are going to celebrate what God has done, and sort of cultivate a posture of always looking for God's activity, and then not taking it for granted that everyone just sort of knows that, like making sure our whole family knows, this is a God thing, let's talk about it, and so in some ways, I think we probably had more spiritual conversations than we would have, had we sort of been more structured in our Bible study time, because it was very natural to say, when God does something, let's talk about it, and I think for both Mike and I, that's something we've tried to do with our own kids now as they're getting older, is just make sure you, to seize those opportunities to just celebrate when God does, you know, is faithful in our life, and not take it for granted that, you know, ourselves or our kids or families are just going to naturally sort of recognize that as God's faithfulness.   Laura Dugger: (10:43 - 11:34) Okay, that's huge, what you both are saying, because that is very biblical to pass along to the next generation through our words, through sharing the stories of God's goodness, I don't know how many verses there are that encourage us to do that, and it helps us remember, I think, reading and writing and even conversation that can all go together, so I was struck with all the stories that were included, that you recounted so well in this Bible study, so two parts, do you write these down like in a journal as they happen, and also it's so interesting to see the two of you being related, and even your background right now, full of books, and so I'm wondering if that was a value in your family, and just how that ties in the love of story and reading.   Mike Blackaby: (11:34 - 19:55) Yeah, at least I preached a lot of those, because anytime there's a good story, it usually ends up in a sermon, and that's something we both sort of drew from our dad, he's a great storyteller, but just coming out of even what we were just talking about, you know, there's always stories to tell, I don't keep all the details, which is why usually I don't have a ton of the details in the story, it's sort of more the gist, my wife's the detail person, and we joke that she'll tell a story, and it'll take like 10 minutes, because she'll know every, and she loves all the details, and I'll tell the same story in like two minutes, because it's just like, you know, just hit the main points here, but I keep a little, I call it an illustration file, because I use them for preaching, but I think it's good to keep some sort of record, even if it's not all the details, but just the gist.   When we moved to Victoria, I live on Vancouver Island, we planted a church here in Victoria, the west coast of Canada, and it's a hard place to plant a church, and I have a file on my computer that's God's stories from Oak Bay, and it's just whenever we see God do something, I mean God's always at work, but whenever we see something, you know, that really stands out, I'll write that down, and I'm like, I don't want to forget these things, like I want to be able to pass on these stories, and I know I will forget them if I don't write them down, so there's the record of the stories, and then, you know, when we put them in a book, we try to make it interesting, and you know, we try to write it in a compelling way, but we do, at least I do, keep a record of those things, because I don't want to forget those stories. Those are worth passing down, and then when we get an opportunity to write something like this book, it's great because you can draw on these things, and you can say, whenever God does a work in my life, it's never just for me, like it's always part of something bigger, a bigger story of what God's doing, and so I want to pass those along, and if those stories can be encouraging for others, then great.   And one of the differences, I would just add, and then let Daniel go, but one of the differences between this book and the original Experiencing God is that the original Experiencing God has a lot of big God moment stories where you read, you're like, whoa, that's amazing, you're like, these miracle stories, but sometimes we can expect that that's the only way that God ever works, is the burning bush, or the fire from heaven, or these sort of big miracles we see in the Bible, or we read about in grandpa's life, and in this other book, we were very intentional to try and not just put the wow stories in there, there are those, those do happen, but we wanted to put some stories of just, hey, here's how this plays out, and it's not a huge earth-shattering miracle, it's just sometimes just regular life stuff, and most of life is in those moments, and God is in those moments, as well as the big moments, and so a lot of the stories we put in this book were, we actually edited out some of the ones that were a bit more like, whoa, that's cool, because we want people to see that God is in the ordinary stuff as well, and so sometimes those are a bit harder to think of, because the big moments stick in your mind pretty good, but when you're thinking about, what does this look like though in just the day-to-day, you're like, that's not as interesting, but we think hopefully it's even more powerful for people, because they can come to realize, wow, God is at work all around me, even in the ways where I didn't expect to see him, he's in those places too.   Daniel Blackaby: Yeah, well, and I'd quickly just say too that, you know, Mike's better at keeping track of stories, my wife and I were just talking the other day, how we regret that we weren't better like when our kids were growing up, and some of those funny things that they did, but I think in some ways that is also the value of just being very intentional about constantly sharing stories, is sort of the old oral tradition of just, you know, you may not remember, but you've told the story, and other people remember, because the funny thing with these books is you'd probably assume that, you know, if it's a personal story from me or Mike, that we were the one that put that story in, that we added, that was our idea, but a lot of times it would actually be, you know, like Mike might, he might not, I might still write the story, but he might add, hey, remember when this happened, and this would be a great illustration of this, and I'll be, oh, I forgot that happened, you know, like, oh yeah, now that I think of it, like, you know, or we'd tell our dad, like, hey, we heard you tell this story, like, why don't you add that here, and so it's sort of that collective memory of, you know, we may, it may jolt our memories, you know, and we learn some new ones.   Like, we wrote a youth version of this book, too, that comes out in the fall that parallels it, but we swapped out a lot of the stories for a bit more youth, youthy, kind of humorous ones, and I learned some stories about Daniel that I actually didn't know, that, like, one story that might be one of the funniest things that I've, like, ever heard is in that book, and so, yeah, it is fun to sort of go back into the archives and even learn some new ones. So, yeah, it is fun to sort of collectively and reminisce, even as we were writing them, but I'll say to you, because you asked us about the storytelling, like, the books, and that that very much is, I think, an application of what we were trying to get at in this book, of just, that was something we saw, like, our dad has a big library, we constantly would come into his office, see him reading a book. I think back, even our mom, when we were quite young, kind of had two rules that, I don't know if you even remember these, Maggie, one was we can always have an apple. At any time of the day, we can, we're always allowed to have an apple, and the second one was that she'll always buy us a book, if we read a book that she bought us, she'll always buy us a new book, so that we can keep reading, which she made that promise before we got quite as, as hooked. She had to sort of back down, when she couldn't keep up with, you know, the credit card couldn't handle. I had a huge stack of Goosebumps books. I think she was, like, hoping to steer us a little bit, like, well, I guess not just any book.   But that was just always a value to them. I mean, I mean, apple, and be healthy, make healthy choices, but the reading of just constantly be stretching yourself, you know, whether that's fiction, and as we got older, more non-fiction as well, mixed in there, different types of literature, but, you know, just any way that, as a family, we can encourage thinking, and storytelling, and, you know, whether, even if they weren't necessarily, you know, faith, Christian books, just stories, learning the power of stories, and a well-told story, and I don't know if you've done that, Mike, that's one of the, we've adopted those rules for my kids, of just, you know, if you're going to read a book, I'll buy you a new book. I want you guys to, and just, I want you guys to see me reading in my library, and just the power of books, and literature, and thinking, hopefully, some of that rubs off.   Mike Blackaby: Our kids love apples so much, though, that we can't really do the apple rule, because then we would just never have any apples. We just wouldn't have them for lunches. Well, and even today, we're all in a book club together, so with our dad, and with our sister, and our brother-in-law, and our cousin, and so we'll all choose a book that sort of stretches our thinking, and then we'll, they all, most of them all live right by each other, so they'll all meet together, eat Chinese food, and then a couple of us outsiders will zoom in, but that's even still a practice that we have in adulthood, is we'll do a book club together, and we'll read a book, and we'll discuss it, and big, big fans of reading old school books. Daniel's maybe more of a Kindle guy nowadays, too, but, and anything, same with our kids, just, hey, you guys just read anything. It's just good for you.   Laura Dugger: (19:57 - 20:13) It is so helpful in, I think, cultivating faith. That's fascinating to hear how different families do it in different ways, and I know that we can't share all of the stories, but now, Mike, you kind of left us hanging. Do you want to share that one story about Daniel that they may find in the youth resource?   Mike Blackaby: (20:15 - 21:52) Yeah, it might be a little, a little bit PG, Daniel, you may have to correct me, but you were, like, brand new to a school, too, like, your high school. He was a new student at his school, and they all went, they all went out on a lake, going, like, being pulled on a tube behind, behind, like, a speedboat, and so, of course, you're trying to make a good impression. You're, you're brand new. You don't have any friends yet, and so you're trying to, you're trying to break into this crowd, so Daniel goes on that tube, and, of course, you're trying to get you to fall off, and so they're taking these huge corners, and, and they, they wipe Daniel off of the back of that tube so hard that he loses his swim trunks, and he's floating there, and the boat's got to, like, make the big wide turn, and come back, and pick him up, and he looks, and his shorts are, like, you know, he's lost them way out in the lake, and so he's frantically swimming, trying to, trying to get to his shorts before, before the boat comes back, and so, for those of you who are, who are audio listeners only, you'll be thankful for that, I guess. Sorry, I apologize to the listeners, but I forget what point we're making. So, not, not the age you want to be to, to humiliate yourself.   Daniel Blackaby: I did find, I did swim fast enough, just to tie a bow on that. I was able to be covered. Somehow, I had never known that story, and I've laughed for, I mean, months now, I guess, whenever, whenever you wrote that. I'm still laughing about that.   Laura Dugger: (21:53 - 23:29) And now, a brief message from our sponsor.   Sam Leman Chevrolet Eureka has been owned and operated by the Bertschi family for over 25 years. A lot has changed in the car business since Sam and Stephen's grandfather, Sam Leman, opened his first Chevrolet dealership over 55 years ago. If you visit their dealership today, though, you'll find that not everything has changed. They still operate their dealership, like their grandfather did, with honesty and integrity. Sam and Stephen understand that you have many different choices in where you buy or service your vehicle. This is why they do everything they can to make the car buying process as easy and hassle-free as possible.   They are thankful for the many lasting friendships that began with a simple welcome to Sam Leman's. 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Thanks for your sponsorship.   Kind of getting back to some of the thoughts of your study, why is it that you think so many Christians struggle to meet God just in the ordinary moments of life?   Mike Blackaby: (23:31 - 29:40) I think one reason might just be that our ordinary time is so full of distractions now, just so much more than it ever used to be, and everybody knows this, like with phones and just ads coming at you all the time, and constant noise, constant stimulus, and just being as busy. Technology has also allowed us to be very productive, which doesn't mean that we rest more. It means that we attempt to do more because we can do more, and so our lives are just full and busy, and I would say that probably one of the biggest reasons why we don't see God in the everyday is because our every day is so full of distractions, and if we're not intentional, just there's a million things that will come and take our attention and fill our time, and so that would be, I think that would be a big reason is life's just too crazy, and unless you push back against that intentionally, there's just so much that you'll miss out on.   Daniel Blackaby: Yeah, I think too, just expectations. I think it's easier, maybe it's more flashy to see God in like a burning bush type moment of, oh that must be God, because that's a miracle that never happens, as opposed to just in the daily grind of life, and I think we're just we're sort of stuck in a worldly perspective. I know like our grandfather in the first Experiencing God book talked about God's activity is always God-sized, which is true, there always is that God eternal dimension, but I think even as we've, you know, the decades since that book and being able to go through that study with people, and we're so conditioned I think to think, well God's size must be big, you know, God's big, so whatever he does must be big and spectacular, which is not what our grandfather meant, you know, God's size just means God is in it, and the significance comes because God's in it, not because it's flashy, or it was in front of a lot of people, or you know, it was some miraculous story, and I think a lot of times we just miss the ordinary, because we're not looking for it, we're kind of looking, we may even get discouraged that God's not doing anything in my life right now, because there hasn't been a big moment, and if our spiritual eyes were open to just, well God was all around you in your family today, God is all around you at work today, or you know, that conversation you had at the grocery store, this, you know, that sense of peace you had when, you know, your schedule went crazy, and it was a chaotic day, but somehow you had this, those are all God moments, that's God's presence too, but we don't always recognize that, just because we're not looking for it, we don't, that's almost too small for God in our eyes, which I think says more about us than it does about God.   I know even just in the process of writing this book, it was sort of the act of trying to apply it into my own life, of you know, just being more intentional about, you know, if I'm just like in the living room with my kids, or doing, you know, whatever I'm doing at work or something, and just sort of sitting back a bit and being, this is a good moment, like this is a God moment, like this is, you know, my kids are laughing, this happened, there was a breakthrough at work, you know, some small comment that maybe I would brush off, that no, that actually is a sign of God's activity, and I think once you get in the habit of that, once that becomes sort of, you know, not that you're trying to like, where's Waldo, and force it if it's not there, and make everything a God moment, but if you just sort of get in the habit of keeping your eyes open and recognizing it, I don't know, it's sort of contagious, if you start noticing more and more, and you get in, you sort of, that becomes more of your default, and the more you do that, the more you realize, so God's been doing a lot of stuff that I've been missing, just because my own expectations are, I want God to do something that, in my eyes, seems more miraculous and spectacular, when maybe God wants to do something just as important, but way more intimate, or personal, or sort of, you know, behind the scenes.   Mike Blackaby: And something that's come up a couple times in our conversation is just the consistency and the practice of something, like Daniel said, if you put that into practice, it may not feel natural at first, but if you put that into practice, Daniel just said like, that'll become more your default, and even the language we use in the book, and other people use as well, is just the rhythm of your life. What is your life rhythm? What is those defaults that you fall into, either unintentionally or intentionally?   And if you, you have to create the rhythm of looking for God's activity, and I think that's one thing the original Experiencing God did, is it opened people's eyes to, God is at work all around me, and if I'm gonna see that, if I'm gonna recognize that, then I need to be looking for that. It's not that it starts happening because I start looking, but I start seeing it because I start looking. It's always been there. And so just building that consistency, and those rhythms, and one of the things we really hit on in the book is, you are shaped by what you do consistently over time. And it's interesting, because the big moments maybe inspire you, but they don't necessarily shape you into who you are. It's the erosion of rock. It's the consistent small things that build up over time that really shape your character and shape your faith. And so, the big moments play a part in that, but just like anything else, if you want seeing God's activity to become the default rhythm of your life, it's one of those things that you have to put into practice, because it's not going to be naturally what you do, just right off the bat. It's one of those things that has to be learned and practiced. But as you do, it slowly does become second-rate, and it does become more of the default. And you are just aware of looking around for where God is at work and recognizing it, but it's not going to just happen by accident, because very rarely do good, healthy things happen just unintentionally and by accident. Absolutely.   Laura Dugger: (29:42 - 30:22) And there's this verse that's been meaningful all year, but it's one that I was, again, reflecting on today from Lamentations 3:25, and it kind of ties into what you're talking about. It says, "The Lord is good to those who depend on Him, to those who search for Him." And I think you're talking about cultivating those small incremental steps of spiritual growth by even just searching for Him and being on the lookout and expectantly awaiting for Him to do something. So, would you build on that and share a few more practical habits that we can cultivate to experience progressive sanctification?   Daniel Blackaby: (30:25 - 37:43) Yeah, well, I know, because in the book, each unit, we give different suggested habits that contribute to that rhythm of intentionality. And obviously, we start the book with sort of the standard, you know, read your Bible, pray, things that every Christian should, that should just be a part of your rhythm at any stage of life. But I think a lot of times when we think of habits and things, I think people get intimidated because we're busy, and obviously, it's a matter of priority. We make time for the things that we love and prioritize. So, most of the time, busyness is an excuse to prioritize, you know, watching Netflix or going to bed early or whatever it is instead of God things.   But I think one of the things we try to do in the book, too, is just redeeming the time of, you know, that they're not necessarily that you need to, okay, well, I have a busy life, and I got to add 10 new habits into my life, and slot them into whatever remaining, you know, openings I have in my busy schedule, but just kind of reclaiming some of these times or, you know, and a lot of the habits, too, they're not necessarily just, you know, go spend two hours fasting and prayer before work every day, things that are that are daunting. I think a lot of them can be small, just mindset things. I know one of our habits is just gratitude, where we encourage people, like if you're standing there by the coffee maker half asleep, you know, in the morning before you're going to go to work or school or whatever you're doing, like if you're just standing there waiting for your coffee, you got whatever, two minutes, you know, use that moment to voice a prayer to God and just thank Him. Find one thing that you can thank Him for that day, and that's not adding, you know, that's not adding a lot of commitment, but it's starting your day, you know, one of the first things you do is, before you even had coffee, is thanking God for something, and you do that every day, every day, you start every day thanking God for something, then that begins to shape your rhythm, to grow you into being a more thankful person.   Rather than, you know, spending that time to think about how much you don't want to go back to work this morning, or you're too tired, or you know, regretting that you stayed up too late, or, you know, you feel sore from how you slept on your pillow, like things that could sort of shape our day, and I mean, the book has a lot of those sort of things, even just commutes, you know, we encourage people, pick one day, just, you know, one day, if you're going to work or picking up your kids from school, or whatever your regular commute is, and just turn off the radio, turn off the audiobook, just, you know, you can pray in that time, or you can just look and, you know, appreciate the sky, or you can just have some silence to kind of clear your mind from all the stimuli that you get, you know, so much throughout the day, and so I think, for me, those are the ones that have been the most impactful for me. Obviously, if you're not reading your Bible, or praying, some of those things work to include those, but I think a lot of the habits, especially when it comes to noticing God, and joining God in the small things, can be small habits of just shaping, how can I become a more gratitude, or grateful person, or generous, or encouraging person, you know, encourage one person at work each day, there's different things like that, but I think over time, those do contribute to sort of these bigger rhythms of aligning yourself more with kind of God's presence.   Mike Blackaby: Yeah, one that I like, that has challenged me and stuck with me is the water basin. It says he went over to this water basin, and he used that to wash his disciples' feet, and of course, the practice would have been for a servant to have done that when they all got there, and maybe a servant already did that, it would seem odd if a certain servant had already done that, and then Jesus repeats it, maybe that's how it happened, but I get a sense that they went in, and nobody had done that, sort of the custom got missed, and they're all sitting there with dirty and disgusting feet, and Jesus is the one that takes the initiative, doesn't just wait for somebody else to do it, we don't hear of any of the other disciples saying, oh, well, somebody's got to do this, sort of like someone's got to do the dishes, I guess I'll go do it, like it's Jesus that does it, there's the sense that the water basin was there the whole time, but Jesus is the only one who took the initiative to use it, and so I would say everything that we want to develop in our character towards Christlikeness is going to come out of the foundation of humility, a posture of humility is where all of that is built on, and so the act of serving others, what it does is it slowly makes us humble, it's the action of putting someone else before myself, if I do that over and over again, eventually that starts to wear down my pride, that actively pushes back against my pride by putting somebody else in front of me, and that's good, if I can work my way down to a place of humility, then that's a great starting place for everything else that God wants to develop in my character, and so one of the practices would be everywhere you go look for the water basin, like every room you walk into, everywhere you go there's going to be an opportunity to serve others, most people are going to ignore it, most people are going to let that water basin sit there and wait for somebody else to do it, cultivate the habit of being that person, of saying everywhere I go I'm going to be the one who starts stacking chairs, I'm going to be the one who starts collecting everyone's dirty dishes, I'm going to be the one who asks if anybody could use a top-up on their water or their coffee, I'm going to be that person, and when I'm at home, it's like where are those moments, if I see that my wife needs something, am I going to wait for her to ask, or am I going to see that as a water basin moment, and I'm going to jump on it, and that's hard for me, that's not natural for me, and so that is something I'm actively for years now just trying to do that, but every time I see a water basin and use it to serve somebody else, I'm pushing back against my natural tendency towards pride, and I'm setting myself up to receive whatever else the Holy Spirit wants to, whatever fruit of the Spirit that needs to be developed in me, comes out of the foundation of humility, and so something like that, it's not a scheduled thing, but it's a mindset, it's a habit of saying, okay, everywhere I go, there's going to be a water basin, and so every room I walk into, I can ask where is that, and then take that opportunity to serve, and over time, that should start to develop humility in you, and that's a great place to be for everything else that God wants to do in your life.   Laura Dugger: (37:43 - 39:07) I love that picture of the water basin, and I was telling my husband last night, he does this so well to jump to serve others, and it's a quiet form of leadership, but that is one way that he spiritually leads our family, and I was hoping to encourage him last night, I saw it in one of our daughters then as well, and I know that it sadly didn't come from me, but from her witnessing him and just that eagerness to serve, so I think it's contagious as well, these even practices, and the spirit lights the flame, but to fan the flame, you guys talk about some other ideas, I'll just mention a couple more. I love how you said activate the other side, so maybe learn from podcasts or from reading, and that's more of our thinking brain, so to activate the emotional brain, you're talking about listening to worship songs, or vice versa, if you're always going to music, activate the other side, and another personal favorite was reflective journaling, and you just elaborate on all of these practical ideas, and I think it was really helpful, but you also sprinkle in insightful questions and tips throughout the whole study to inspire us to deeper levels of connection with God, so do you mind just sharing a handful of those?   Daniel Blackaby: (39:09 - 48:32) Yeah, I think just trying to think of it in that terms of all, where, you know, where has God brought me, where do I have to go, and then I'm curious, because we repeat that activity at the end to see if throughout the study, people maybe evaluate themselves differently than they did at the start, but even just questions like, which I believe Mike actually added these ones in the book, but just, you know, list the places that you go to, kind of your weekly schedule, and then how many, what percentage of the people there are believers or not believers, you know, as far as just joining God on mission in your everyday life, I don't think we're always aware of those things, that we assume we believe in missions, we want, we're joining God's activity, but if we actually stop to reflect, is what, you know, I may go, other than maybe like the dentist or something, I may go or the grocery store, and I'll talk to these people, like I could go days without even coming in contact with someone that doesn't share the faith that I do, I mean, Mike is in a more secular surrounding, like I'm down here in the Bible Belt, so it's, you even have to be more intentional to, even like the restaurants, and my dentist is already a Christian, you know, they're playing, I was there yesterday, they were playing worship music, so I get, you do sort of need to be, you know, more, maybe more intentional with that, but I think it starts with just being honest and sort of reflecting on where has God placed me, and how am I, you know, am I joining Him the way that He has called me to, am I around Christians all the time, am I around non-Christians, am I, you know, my community, am I actually being a blessing to my community, am I involved in my community throughout my everyday, you know, weekly schedule, so I think a lot of the activities are just kind of guidance to reflect on sort of where we are in that process, and maybe where God could have us if we were to step out a bit more with faithfulness.   Mike Blackaby: Yeah, I like that. Some of the questions we asked are, they're not necessarily super profound, but there may be questions that aren't intentionally asked all that often, even something like, how would you define spiritual maturity? You ask somebody, “Do you want to grow in your faith?” They're like, yes, I do. Okay, so what are you growing towards? Like, what's the end goal? And most people will probably say, well, I want to be like Jesus. Well, what do you mean by that? Like, you want to go around casting out demons and, you know, feeding 5,000 people through miracles? Well, I don't know, I mean, I want to reflect his character. Okay, so in what way? What character trait of Jesus do you think? Like, narrow it down. Don't just say, I just want to be like Jesus. Well, like, here's Jesus, and we're all way down here, so that's just like, it's like climbing Everest. It's like, well, yeah, I want to get up there. Okay, so what's your map to get there? I don't know. I don't have one.   And so, this idea of just making it, just zeroing in, okay, the fruit of the Spirit, start there. What's one fruit? Pick one thing. You spend the rest of your life working on that one thing, but it's like, okay, what stands out right away to you? Patience. Yeah, for me, it's patience with my kids and with, you know, everything, traffic. It's just like, okay, man, I need this fruit in my life. Okay, so start there. Don't try to just become like Jesus. Say, here's one thing about Jesus that I need to cultivate in me. And if I become a more patient person, then I'm actually becoming a more spiritually mature person, because there's a certain part of my life that is aligning more with the character and the person of who Christ is, who is our model. That is the blueprint of who we desire to be like.   And so sometimes the questions we ask, they're not necessarily super deep or profound, but maybe they're just hopefully helping people to focus it a little bit and to say, okay, we all want to be spiritually mature, but none of us really have a plan to get there. We just sort of hope it happens, like Daniel said, over time. If I'm a Christian long enough, or if I just also, if I fill my life with enough Christian activities, if I just read enough Christian books, if I go to enough Christian Bible studies, that will just make me into a mature Christian. And there is some truth to that. That stuff does shape you. But I heard a pastor one time say, experience doesn't make you wiser, it makes you older. Evaluated experience makes you wiser. And so just putting in time doing Christian activities without reflecting on them or being intentional about it doesn't necessarily make you a more mature person. It just makes you somebody who's been to a lot of Bible studies.   And in one sense, it can almost be immature to say, okay, I don't actually know how to disciple myself. And so, I show up every time the church offers me something to sign up for, but if they don't offer me something to sign up for, then I actually don't know how to take control of my own discipleship. I don't know what to do. And so, in one sense, ironically, the end goal of this book is to help wean people off of needing these types of books all the time. It's sort of counterproductive. Like, hey, the best thing is less and less people need to buy this book. But this idea of build rhythms into your life, take control of your discipleship. A mature Christian shouldn't be needing to be spoon fed or bottle fed 20 years into their Christian walk by saying, okay, what's the next thing that I need to read? After 20 years, Jesus had his disciples for three years, and then he made them the leaders of the church. It's like after three years, he thrusts them into leadership. And we go for 20 years. And if somebody's not telling us what Bible study to take, we don't know what to do.   There's a sense of, God, would you make me a mature believer, that I can then begin to pass this on to someone else, to a believer that's coming behind me. And slowly, as we progress down this road, we're passing it on to the others coming behind us. And we never stop growing. But there is a sense of, am I still doing the same things 20 years down my Christian road that I did when I started? Or have I grown at all? And what's the evidence? How do you measure spiritual growth to even know that? And so those types of questions, they're not necessarily super deep or profound, but they're questions that we may not ask in our normal everyday lives. And so, I think that's a good starting place just to get people thinking, if I want to grow, what am I growing towards? And then how do I get there? So that's some of the heart behind it.   Laura Dugger: (48:32 - 50:04) I want to make sure that you're up to date with our latest news. We have a new website. You can visit thesavvysauce.com and see all of the latest updates. You may remember Francie Heinrichson from episode 132, where we talked about pursuing our God-given dreams. She is the amazing businesswoman who has carefully designed a brand-new website for Savvy Sauce Charities. And we are thrilled with the final product.   So, I hope you check it out. There, you're going to find all of our podcasts now with show notes and transcriptions listed, a scrapbook of various previous guests, and an easy place to join our email list to receive monthly encouragement and questions to ask your loved ones so that you can have your own practical chats for intentional living. You will also be able to access our donation button or our mailing address for sending checks that are tax deductible so that you can support the work of Savvy Sauce Charities and help us continue to reach the nations with the good news of Jesus Christ. So, make sure you visit thesavvysauce.com.   One other tip that we can hit on is another personal favorite, something that you call spiritual markers. So, can you tell us more about this idea of spiritual markers and how can we incorporate these into our own walk with the Lord and discipling our children?   Daniel Blackaby: (50:07 - 54:54) Yeah, well, I think in some ways this sort of brings us full circle to where we started with as far as just, you know, as you recognize the moments that that you have, you know, very clearly heard from God or experienced God or joined in God's activity and just allowing those, you know, like through the Bible there's, especially in the Old Testament, people are constantly making altars and, you know, God doesn't think we'll stack a bunch of rocks here so when we see the rocks we remember and we can tell our kids about it and this sense that let's do things that remind us of what God has done in the past, not just so that we can sort of, you know, be nostalgic and reminiscent about the good old days, but that as we face challenges today, we can, you know, hey, God was faithful there.   Every time I see, like I know I have a part of my testimony involved, kind of pretty miraculously receiving a letter, a handwritten letter from a friend that God used to answer prayer, and as we're recording this podcast, I can look and like I have that framed, you know, in my office, like every day I see, you know, at my lowest moment, God was there for me and I have physical evidence that God was there for me, that as, you know, as I face new challenges decades and decades later, that, you know, may look nothing like those challenges. I know it's the same God that guided me, that was provided for me, was faithful then. He's still the same God that I can trust today.   So in many ways, I mean, that can be stories, that can be, you know, I'm a big proponent of just getting physical objects or reminders or things that, whether that's like a picture or just, you know, like I have another, when I was working on my dissertation for my PhD and under a lot of stress, my kids were very young, you know, they were born my first semester, so I was very stressed, and I had one of my kids came up one day when I was just really under a lot of pressure and gave me a picture. It's just a bunch of scribbles and some random, like, animal stickers and stamps, and it's just very abstract, modern, impressionist art, but he gave me that and just sort of, you know, on his own initiative and, you know, just to let me know that he, you know, he loved me, and that's so meaningful. I have that also framed, you know, he's embarrassed now, he's 11, and you say, oh man, that's awful, but I keep that in a very prominent place in my, you know, that's not necessarily God's provision, but I think it is God working through my son to remind, just remind me that, you know, God is at work in my family and using my family and my children, and so I have sort of all around me even now, like, there's just things that I've put around me to remind myself that, you know, when I face a challenge today, trust to what God's done in the past, you know, trust those moments that, you know, that I can move forward with that confidence, that I can still trust him today.   Mike Blackaby: I think that all of that is dead on. I'm a fan of the physical reminders too, like, have, like, that's what they did in the Old Testament, they would, they'd pile rocks together and that would spur on conversations specifically with the next generation, and so, yeah, I think tell the stories to everybody, but be even more intentional to tell the stories to the generation coming behind you, and if you need reminders of those things, then, yeah, fill your home, don't just clutter up your home, but fill your life with reminders of God's goodness, because no matter how good he's been in the past, it's easy to forget that when you're right in the storm today, and so sometimes you just need that reminder, say, okay, like, I remember feeling this way before, and yet God got me through it that time, and I believe he'll get me through it this time too, and not even just the hard times, but recognize and be quick to give God credit for the good things, and just, you know, remember those, we're in a good, we're in a good season in our church right now after some difficult, just hard work, and we're seeing some harvest, and we're seeing some good things, and I know there's ups and downs in ministry, and so I've been telling people I'm just enjoying the up right now, you know, and probably should memorialize it in some way to also look back and say, hey, when things get rough, it doesn't usually stay there forever, and things are good, it doesn't always stay there forever either, you know, growth happens through struggle and tension and those types of things, not ease, and so, yeah, the physical reminders are good.   Laura Dugger: (54:56 - 55:12) And we didn't even get to touch on something, you're bringing out the seasons of life and how God brings the harvest and those winter seasons and how it's cyclical, so if all of this message is resonating with someone, where can we go after this chat to learn more from the two of you?   Mike Blackaby: (55:14 - 57:32) Most of, I'm not super active on social media anymore, I probably should be, but I would say most of anything worth hearing that I have to say, I put in my sermons, and so if anybody ever wants to just tune in, we've got a live stream at our church where whatever God is currently teaching me usually ends up in my teaching just week to week on Sundays, and so I would say commit to your own church, let your pastor be your pastor, but if you're ever interested in maybe gaining some other perspective or, you know, looking for something to listen to on the way to work, our church has a live stream that you can go to, Canvas Oak Bay is what our church is called, so anything profound that I have to say will at some point end up in there.   Daniel Blackaby: Yeah, I think you can, for me, you can, I mean, blackaby.org, I work for the ministry, and a lot of the stuff that, I mean, Mike or I, or our father, or other relatives, or things related to this book, I gather resources, and you can find a lot of information and resources on the website, and one of the things I personally do is I run a kind of a culture engagement ministry, The Collision, if anyone wants to check out TheCollision.org, do a lot of, in some ways, applying the message of this book, just in the field of kind of the arts and pop culture, you know, in movies, you know, finding where's God at work, or what's the conversations happening in culture through, you know, the trends, and the stories, and things that are happening, and just trying to guide people to join those conversations, so if that sounds like something, or if you have kids, and you want to help, you know, guide them through some of those conversations, love to have you guys check out our website there, too.   Mike Blackaby: Yeah, I also recommend TheCollision.org, it's good, I love reading Daniel's movie reviews, and it's unlike other things that are out there, what he sees in culture is really good, helping people navigate as a Christian exile, navigating through this world, it's really good, and so I encourage people to check that out, too.   Laura Dugger: (57:33 - 57:54) Thank you for those wonderful recommendations, we'll add links to all of that in the show notes for today's episode, and the two of you may already be familiar, we're called The Savvy Sauce, because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge, and so as my final question for both of you today, what is your savvy sauce?   Mike Blackaby: (57:57 - 1:00:59) Do or do not, there is no try. I would say, this is, I heard somebody say this years ago, and I've always loved it, they said, nothing good happens after 11 p.m., so put away your phone, turn off the TV, you're not going to do anything typically that grows your faith, or encourages your soul, after 11 o'clock, just go to bed, I mean, not much of good typically ever happens late at night, and so, I mean, I know someone will say, well, no, at midnight, this great thing happened to me, like, yeah, I know, it's not a, it's more of a proverb than anything, it's a, typically, this is what, typically, good things don't happen after 11 o'clock, and so, build the habit of putting your phone away, and getting off screen time, getting off your computer, any of that sort of stuff, don't go late into the night on any of that stuff, because typically, healthy things don't happen.   Daniel Blackaby: Yeah, but my two kids had their first sleepover last night at our house, and so I think they learned firsthand that staying up super late, I don't know, there's a lot of chaos, I don't know what was good that came out of that, but I think, maybe for me, kind of a motto, and I've sort of phrased it different ways over the years, but something that I've really tried to use when faced with decisions, is just to, like, choose what I want most, instead of what I want now, and I feel like most healthy decisions can be summed up in this, what I want now is to eat this, you know, donut that was left on the counter, or eat, you know, potato chips for breakfast, or whatever, like, what I want most, though, is to be a healthy example for my kids, or to feel good, or, you know, what I want now might be to just veg on the couch on my phone, and just do nothing, like, what I want most is to, you know, be well-read, or to be, you know, in good shape, so I should go for a run, or whatever it is, like, just, and I'm not, I don't always make the right choice in that, but that, for me, that's just been a helpful of, you know, most decisions come down to, like, this is what I want, but what I want most, and what would be the decision that gets me closer to that, rather than just sort of feeding my kind of carnal impulses, which usually are very rarely edifying, or healthy to the spirit, or body, or mind, or anything, so I've put that on, you know, like, if I make a running schedule, or different things, I've sort of put that, some version of that slogan, just to remind myself, like, even this, you know, I once printed off a sign, I put it on our pantry, of just remembering, what do you want most, what do you want now, like, because don't, you know, don't go for that snack shelf now, but so, for me, that's just been one of those things that I've tried to, I'm constantly telling myself, just, you know, choose what I want most, not just what I want now. That's good.   Laura Dugger: (1:01:00 - 1:01:30) I love it. You both have just shared profound wisdom and insight today. I'm so grateful for your generosity of time, and just inspiring all of us, even giving hope, and all of that through this uplifting conversation, where we're getting to see the thousand generations blessed through the faithfulness, even of those who have gone before you, and you two also carrying the torch on. So, thank you so much for everything you shared today, and thank you, Daniel and Mike, for being my guests today.   Mike Blackaby and Daniel Blackaby: (1:01:31 - 1:01:32) Thanks so much for having us.   Laura Dugger: (1:01:33 - 1:05:16) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

We negotiate every day—but sometimes, the most challenging negotiation happens within us. Fear, doubt, ambition, intuition, and desire can pull us in different directions. In this episode, Cindy Watson and Ariel Vox explore the four archetypes within us and how understanding these inner voices can help us transform fear, learn from failure, and make choices that align with who we are meant to become.   Ariel Vox, an award-winning author, dynamic speaker, and Destiny Designer, to explore the powerful inner negotiations that shape our decisions, relationships, confidence, and success.   In this episode, we will discover:   How can experience teach you about reframing perceived losses as opportunities? How can understanding these  personalities change the way that we interpret opportunity How to define these energies in the context of negotiation? How does each archetype approach negotiation? How can recognizing these archetypes help us to read the room more effectively? And many more!   Learn more about Ariel:   Website: https://arielvox.com/home Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArielVoxBooks/ X: https://x.com/ArielVoxAuthor LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ariel-vox/ Email: hello@arielvox.com   Grab a copy of her books:   From Fear To Fierce Crack the LUCK Code   If you're looking to up-level your negotiation skills, I have everything from online to group to my signature one-on-one mastermind & VIP experiences available to help you better leverage your innate power to get more of what you want and deserve in life. Check out our website at www.artofFeminineNegotiation.com if that sounds interesting to you.   Get Cindy's book here: Amazon   https://www.amazon.com/Art-Feminine-Negotiation-Boardroom-Bedroom-ebook/dp/B0B8KPCYZP?inf_contact_key=94d07c699eea186d2adfbddfef6fb9e2&inf_contact_key=013613337189d4d12be8d2bca3c26821680f8914173f9191b1c0223e68310bb1 EBook   https://www.amazon.com/Art-Feminine-Negotiation-Boardroom-Bedroom-ebook/dp/B0B8KPCYZP?inf_contact_key=94d07c699eea186d2adfbddfef6fb9e2&inf_contact_key=013613337189d4d12be8d2bca3c26821680f8914173f9191b1c0223e68310bb1 Barnes and Noble   https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-art-of-feminine-negotiation-cindy-watson/1141499614?ean=9781631959776 CONNECT WITH CINDY: Website: www.womenonpurpose.ca Website: www.practicingwithpurpose.org Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/womenonpurposecommunity/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenonpurposecoaching/ LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/thecindywatson Show: https://www.womenonpurpose.ca/media/podcast-2/ X(Twitter):  https://twitter.com/womenonpurpose1 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@hersuasion Email: cindy@womenonpurpose.ca  

How can you redesign your author business for the publishing environment that actually exists, rather than the one you wish you had? And how do you decide which marketing efforts will still bring readers to your books in ten years' time? Tracy Cooper-Posey shares her solar sail theory after more than 25 years as an author. In the intro, reviving your backlist [The Indy Author]; AI as a medium [Tim O'Reilly]; How to Write, Publish, and Market Short Stories – Joanna Penn. ProWritingAid Storyteller sale: Thursday, 3rd September until September 13th 2026 — 25% off all annual licenses as well as Story Critique credits. Today's show is sponsored by ProWritingAid, writing and editing software that goes way beyond just grammar and typo checking. With its detailed reports on how to improve your writing and integration with writing software, ProWritingAid will help you improve your book before you send it to an editor, agent or publisher. Check it out for free or get 15% off the premium edition at www.ProWritingAid.com/joanna This show is also supported by my Patrons. Join my Community at Patreon.com/thecreativepenn Tracy Cooper-Posey is the multi-award-winning author of over 200 novels and works of nonfiction, science fiction, fantasy, romance, and historical fiction under three pen names. Her books for authors include The Indie Author Survival Guide and The Productive Indie Fiction Writer. You can listen above or on your favorite podcast app or read the notes and links below. Here are the highlights and the full transcript is below. Show Notes Learning to write again after chemo, one sentence at a time What enshittification means, and why it is the environment rather than you The hallmarks of an indie author business that persists over time The solar sail theory of long-term discoverability Why social media and paid ads have such a short half-life How to find and reduce the operational drag on your business You can find Tracy at ProductiveIndieFictionWriter.com or StoriesRulePress.com. Transcript of the interview with Tracy Cooper-Posey Jo: Tracy Cooper-Posey is the multi-award-winning author of over 200 novels and works of nonfiction, science fiction, fantasy, romance, and historical fiction under three pen names. Her books for authors include The Indie Author Survival Guide and The Productive Indie Fiction Writer. So welcome back to the show, Tracy. Tracy: Hi, Jo. It's great to be back. Jo: Yes. So you were last on the show in October 2023 talking about The Productive Indie Fiction Writer, and we went into depth then. So give us a bit of an update on your author business and also your life. Because it has been a bit of an up and down. Tracy: Yes, it's been a very interesting three years, because I had just gone into remission with cancer when we were talking last. Now I'm out of remission again and facing treatment in the next few weeks. My husband got cancer and went through treatment, and he's cured. So life has been pretty interesting. All that has made me do a lot of deep thinking about the indie author business and my own business and writing in general. So I'm still here. I'm still publishing, 200 plus books now. I had to learn how to write again. But the writing has shifted a lot towards science fiction and fantasy, including cosy science fiction now, which is the new genre that's just creeping in. All three pen names have been Aurealis Award finalists, which is nice. I'm still continuing the nonfiction work, which is something that you said the last time that we spoke. You said, “Now that you've written one, it's likely you'll write more nonfiction.” And I did. Jo: You did. They're excellent books. Just on that, you mentioned cosy sci-fi. For anyone who might not know, where is that genre? What's in that genre of cosy sci-fi? Tracy: It's not really officially a genre yet. It started off with cosy fantasy, which was where the cosy started. Actually, technically it started with cosy mystery, and everyone understands cosy mystery. The body and the murder are off stage. There's a lot of tea drinking. There's lots of friends, and it's all very polite and mannered. You're focusing more on the emotions and the feel, and they've picked up that cosy aspect of mystery and put it on fantasy. So you get books like, I think the primary one is Legends and Lattes. It's about an orc that's running a coffee shop because they got sick of fighting, and the adventures that they have trying to run their coffee shop. So if you pick up that same cosy sensation and put it on science fiction, that's cosy science fiction. But it's so new that it doesn't have a category on Amazon or anything like that. Cosy fantasy does now. Amazon just created a cosy fantasy category a while ago. But cosy science fiction is so new that people are still arguing over which books are cosy science fiction and which are not. Jo: Oh, that's interesting. You're incredibly prolific. You always have been. You mentioned there that you had to learn how to write again after cancer. What do you think happened, and how did you relearn? Because there are people listening who go through these similar things. Tracy: I think a lot of what happened was, well, life just became incredibly complex and challenging, and just getting through a day of pain took a lot of the energy, what they call the spoons. I didn't have the spoons to write anymore. Also you get chemo brain, which is the really interesting one. When I was going through chemo, I would look at a spreadsheet and just couldn't figure out how it worked. It just didn't make sense to me, so I had to hand over the finances and everything to Mark, which was rather interesting. The way I got myself back into writing again was, it was such an alien idea that writing wasn't even on my radar from day to day. I just didn't have the energy or the concentration to do it. So I started off really, really small. The first thing I did was read a lot of favourite books from other authors just to remember why I loved reading. Then I started reading my own books that I had written, just to remind myself of what I used to love about my own work. Then I just cracked the manuscript one day and read as far as I had written and thought, “Okay, what's the next sentence?” And that's the only thing that I would let myself do, was just write the next sentence. That's it. So I wrote the next sentence, and sat there and thought, “Do I want to write the next sentence?” On that particular day, no, I didn't. But I just kept opening the manuscript and looking and thinking about the next sentence, and eventually I wrote a few more. I think it was that coming back to the manuscript over and over with no pressure, just look at it, can you get the next sentence written? Very slowly I started building up, and now I'm pretty much back to the speed that I was at before the diagnosis. Jo: So I guess we could think about it in the same way that your body is physically recovering, your mind is also recovering. It almost feels like people want to disconnect the two. If you get a physical injury, that shouldn't affect your brain. But as you mentioned, having chemo, that in itself is difficult and has impacts on your brain. So if people think about it more as an injury you have to come back from, rather than day one you're back in, I guess. Tracy: Yes. It's really a rehabilitation-style process, and I think the key is you've got to take all pressure off yourself. I know that, for me in particular, because I was such a workhorse, I could feel this stress because I just wasn't getting things done. Once I gave myself permission to just take as long as it takes and just keep coming back to it, that helped enormously. It still took time for that rehabilitation process to actually work. There's a lot of forgiving yourself, and it has to be a gentle process, I think, because situations like cancer and chemo and whatever the situation is that's pulled you away from your manuscript, they're big life events, and there is a lot of stress involved with them both physically and mentally. So you have to give yourself time. Jo: Yes, it's so important. Okay, well, also in these last three years, as you said, you've got back to writing, and one of the books you have also written is The Anti-Enshittification Field Manual for Indie Authors. You also use Cory Doctorow's enshittification concept around the mature indie author industry. So just talk about what that term [enshittification] means? We think it is now established in the industry, in terms of what is going on there. How do we recognise it and adjust? Tracy: It's a very interesting term. The first time I heard it I raised my brows a bit. I was thinking, “Well, that's a bit cheeky.” The more you think about it, the more appropriate the name is. Basically, Cory Doctorow's idea is that any platform, so for the sake of this discussion, let's say Amazon, starts out serving its users extremely well because it needs them. When everyone first got into indie publishing, Amazon was open doors and you could just publish a book and it would sell, because they would push the book and they would do everything they could to make sure that readers saw your book. Then slowly and increasingly, the platform extracts value from those users for somebody else's benefit, usually shareholders, and ultimately for itself. You can track this process where it starts off really great for the users and then slowly shifts so that it becomes a less than stellar experience for the users. For indie authors, we're particularly exposed because our business sits on top of these platforms. So recognising that a lot of the platforms that we use now have enshittified, excuse me, or are in the process of doing that, that really helps. Because I think for years we were treating everything as a separate problem. We were worrying about organic reach, we were worrying about advertising becoming more expensive. There's subscription creep, there's deteriorating customer service, algorithm changes. Visibility was increasingly pay to play, and it's so much more than that now. The platforms keep removing features or changing the terms. Individually it just looks like a mess, but as soon as you put them together and say, “Oh, I understand now. The platform is enshittifying,” you can see the structural pattern. It actually applies to so many platforms and services. Once you see it, well, for me in particular, that was an enormously positive realisation, because until I saw the pattern, I thought I was failing, and nothing I was doing seemed to work anymore. Once I understood the environment itself had changed, I could stop trying to fix myself and start redesigning the business for the environment that actually exists. Jo: Yes, and that is the point. Redesigning your business for the environment that exists. Because what you mentioned there, I feel like some people still think that organic reach exists. I guess some people will say, “Oh, well, at the moment you can still put a video on, say, TikTok, and it might find an audience there.” Are people still building an audience in these newer platforms? But I think that's the point, isn't it? I guess Substack would be another one. Although we already see that heading in the same direction, with various things. As soon as you go in there thinking, “Yes, I'm going to get organic reach,” even if there is any, it follows this way, doesn't it? Tracy: It does. And this is what's so great about it, is once you recognise this pattern, you see it everywhere, and you can actually track a new platform through that process, and you can anticipate that, okay, maybe we're going to get organic discovery right now, but that's going to diminish. That way you're not disappointed, and you're all set up for when that happens. That means that you can reduce your dependency on these platforms and not expect them to behave like they did in 2011. Jo: It's interesting, though, with Amazon, for example, we've definitely seen that as authors. But on the other side, as a customer, as a reader particularly, I used to find a lot of books on Amazon directly. I'm almost entirely now finding books elsewhere, often through AI, actually, often through Claude. Tracy: Yes, exactly. Jo: And then going on Amazon to maybe get the book. It feels like for readers it's changed too, right? Tracy: Exactly. I mean, indie authors are particularly vulnerable because their entire business is built on these platforms, but this applies to everyone. It's not just indie authors. As you say, it's readers. They're noticing too that the decay of these platforms is starting to impact them as users. I'm exactly like you. I tend to buy my books from Kobo, but I will buy my books from anywhere, and I learn about those books from a dozen different places. I don't rely on just one platform anymore. It's really great once you understand this because then you can build an independent mindset that lets you flex around issues. Jo: Yes, and obviously we like to dwell on the positives here. So given that this is just a reality of the market and various platforms— What are the hallmarks of an indie author business that is more likely to persist over time given the reality of this? Tracy: Okay. Well, I think that the biggest part of it is, as I mentioned before, it's the mindset. Recognising these patterns is really a big one, recognising where a platform is in the process. Also developing a very independent mindset. I mean, we've been saying we're indie authors since 2011, but we were still really relying on those platforms to provide most of our business. I think these days the new indie author is much more independently minded. Even though you're using the platforms, and we're all using them, you develop a flexibility. You understand the industry, and you're making plans ahead of it, so you've got the flexibility there, and the business thinking, which really helps. You deal with any problems that come up. Every time there's an algorithm change, you're not going to wake up in the morning and just go through mourning because half your income has disappeared. You're ready with alternatives, and you've got different things that you can try. So that mindset, that thinking about and recognising patterns and how the industry is going, is critical. Once you've got that in place, then there's a huge number of strategies that you might want to incorporate. This is the thing, every indie author's business is different. We're all in different situations. I have health challenges, someone else may have a day job. I write a lot of books. Someone may be only able to produce a couple of books a year. We're writing in different genres. If you're writing literature, that's different from the sort of science fiction that I write. So the business and how it responds to the conditions out there is going to be different as well. So what you do as an author and for your business will be different. There's a lot of strategies that you can try and see which are most effective for you. One of the biggest, for instance, is something that you say a lot too, diversify your income. Have a durable backlist. Work to get your backlist built up. Direct sales is another strategy that I would say is almost mandatory for every indie author these days. I know a lot of indie authors are going, “Oh, but I've only got two books.” Doesn't matter. If you can sell from your site using just a PayPal link, that's direct sales, and that works. That gives you a lot more independence and agency. Owning your reader relationships, making sure that you keep the readers close, I think that's another critical one. Making sure that you're resilient for the platform so you can adjust when there's changes. And on and on. There's a lot of things that you can do to adapt. Jo: Yes. I think it's interesting just thinking about when you said, for example, direct sales is good for every indie author. I would say every indie author who wants to have a long-term business—and I think that's a really key thing. Because I feel like it's still important to have a difference between people who are writing primarily as a hobby or are not looking for the financial income that you and I think about. So I think that's one thing. I totally agree with you that just having a PayPal button or even selling some physical copies at a local fair or something, that all counts. I think it almost proves something and gives you that more independent mindset. It's like, “Yes, I can actually do this.” That is such a powerful reframe rather than, “I cannot do anything except upload my book on Amazon.” Tracy: Yes. And actually, funny you should mention the live markets, because we experimented over the last year with attending a few live markets and selling books, and there is a genuine power, a little thrill that you get when you sell a book, and you can sign it on the spot for them, and the reader is right there and you're face to face. That process is suddenly not this anonymous process, where you find that you've sold a book overnight and you've got no idea who it is that bought it. That person's right there in front of you, so you can sign the book for them and you have a little exchange. It's really empowering to build that independence into your business. Jo: Yes, and then you also mentioned the durable backlist. Do you think that having books in multiple genres, including nonfiction, is part of how you can make a living? As in, I think people often think, “Oh, maybe if I just write 20 books in one series.” I mean, maybe that works in some genres. I guess thrillers, actually, that can sometimes work, but you do so many things. Is it the 80/20 rule, that 20% of your books make 80% of the income, or does it literally vary from year to year? Tracy: Well, it does swing from year to year. But yes, generally the 80/20 rule holds. It's different from year to year, which 20% is making the 80% of the money. As I mentioned, I'm moving into science fiction and fantasy more, because that's actually more successful for me right now than the romance is. The other thing is, I think it really comes down to the individual author too. Some authors do very well just doing the one genre or even just the one series, and for them it's great. I always worry that that's putting all your eggs in one basket. I think, though, to counter that vulnerability, if you're just doing one series or one genre, go wide. Sell as wide as you can, and that gives you a bit of a hedge against vulnerability. It's a different situation for every author, and it's very hard for me to say, “Well, here's a 15-step list that'll give you all the answers,” because that 15-step list doesn't exist anymore, if it ever did. Just because everyone's business is so different. You need to do a lot of experimenting, I think, and find what works for you. That sounds like I'm waving off the answer, but I'm really not. You really do have to figure it out for yourself. If you do adopt that experimental mindset and say, “Okay, I'm going to do this for six months and track my statistics and see if there's any results there worth pursuing.” Jo: See what happens. Yes, and it's interesting you've also moved more into the nonfiction. Let's get into your solar sail theory, because I've followed you on and off since we met, like a decade ago. Tracy: It was 10 years ago. Jo: I know. It's crazy. It's really crazy. For those listening, we met in Oregon, at the Oregon Workshops with Dean Wesley Smith and Kristine Kathryn Rusch. I've been reading your blog pretty avidly around this solar sail theory, which I love, and now you're talking about writing science fiction, I can appreciate it more. What is your solar sail theory and some of the ways to build it? Tracy: Okay, so solar sail theory is a theory in science. Well, I was going to say science fiction, but there's solid science behind it. Solar sails are a way, they think, because it's never been proven yet, of propelling a spacecraft. You have this huge sail, like kilometres wide, and what it does is it captures photons. Photons are basically light. So when the light hits the solar sail, it gives it a minuscule amount of push, but there's no friction in space, so that push just keeps the ship going and going. So when you've got kilometres of sail, all the photons hitting that can bring a ship up to enormous speeds, like a fraction of light speed, which sounds small if you're not used to science, but a fraction of light speed is enormously fast, and these solar sails can bring a ship up to those sorts of speeds. So you can cross to the next star without needing faster-than-light travel or warp speed or something like that. Put that theory over the top of the indie publishing industry and you suddenly get a very interesting way of thinking about the industry, and it helps you make decisions. So it's not a prescription. Again, it's not a 15-step, here's how to conquer the universe. It's a decision matrix. It helps you figure out what's going to work for you. Whatever strategy or tactic it is that you're thinking about doing, you can ask the question, does this extend my sail? So does it leave something behind that can continue to make me discoverable? So for instance, a 30-second radio advertisement probably is not going to leave anything behind that'll let readers discover you, because once it's aired, it's gone. On the other hand, a podcast interview like this. The podcast interview that I did with you three years ago, I'm still getting people finding me and finding The Productive Indie Fiction Writer three years later because of that. So that's extending the sail, and it's just a little tiny push, like a photon. Blog posts also, they surface indefinitely, so readers can find them 10 years later. And because you're the host of your own podcast, all your podcast interviews and the website, they're also creating surface area, so people keep finding you years later. Also guest articles, and a book in a library. Your entire back catalogue is all part of the solar sail. Jo: I know people listening are going, “But what about social media?” Tracy: Yes. Social media is a tricky one because it's such a short half-life. I think on Facebook, if anyone sees your post at all, after two hours it's basically gone. They never see it unless they actually go to your account, and they need to have heard of you in order to go to your account and see the post. So that makes social media not really a good solar sail builder. It has other uses, and as long as you understand that it does have this very short half-life, then you can use it for the things that it's good at. Jo: Yes, the same with paid ads, for example. Paid ads are the same as social media. Perhaps a quicker push, but as you say, the half-life is quicker. Tracy: Yes. Exactly. Paid ads come and go. There's nothing out there that'll let the reader find you in a couple of years' time. So they're very short term. A lot of people can build their business on these short-term things. They spend thousands of dollars on paid ads each month, and that works for them, but if they stop doing it, then their business halts. It comes to a grinding halt. Whereas if you're building your solar sail, it's a long-term way of setting up your business, so it just keeps ticking on. Jo: Your series of posts on the solar sail, which are also in The Indie Author Survival Guide, they are nonfiction, useful things. So what about for the fiction side? What do you suggest people do around content marketing? Tracy: Well, it all applies to both fiction and nonfiction. I usually write, because The Productive Indie Fiction Writer is addressing fiction authors, this does all apply to fiction as well. As I was saying, your book catalogue, because you're on Amazon, and Barnes & Noble, and Kobo, and Apple, and maybe Google as well, all of those pages are part of your sail. Your own site, all the book pages on your own site are part of the sail. There's different ways to do it, but the common one is you have this standard sail out there that helps readers find you. You coax them to come to your site, and there you try to capture them as readers. So that usually means your email list. Some people use Substack now. There are other alternatives I'm sure I haven't thought of, but email seems to be the principal one. Then you can build that relationship with the readers over the long term. The solar sail just brings all those readers to you so that you can develop that relationship and keep the readers close. For fiction authors, I think this is critical. This helps you build independence from the retail platforms. Jo: Yes, it is interesting. I would put podcasting and YouTube in particular. So I had someone, they were in my Patreon, and they said, “I'm no longer subscribed to your email list because I hear from you in Patreon and on the podcast.” I was thinking about my own behaviour, and for the podcast that I am a hardcore fan of, I'm not on their email list. I was thinking it is because my relationship with those people is more auditory, I guess. The same with YouTubers. People end up subscribing to your YouTube channel. Then the problem still is, if I stop podcasting today, then I can't contact those people again. Except that I know lots of podcasters who stop podcasting and then maybe two years later they just pop on with an update episode. And people are like, “Oh, I never unsubscribed from you on my feed.” So that can appear years later. I definitely still agree that the email list is primary. But if you're somebody listening and you're a more audio or video person, I think we can probably think about the relationship with people on these different dimensions. Tracy: Yes, and some people definitely prefer the audio. I'm utterly text-based myself. I prefer to read. But yes, podcasting, apart from anything else, is a way of keeping contact with the readers, and they can email you in return. So it is a two-way process, so you can develop that relationship. So if that works for you, that is a good alternative. The other thing is too, of course, every episode that you've recorded and put on a webpage is also building your sail. So more and more people are finding you. So podcasting is interesting. If you're guest posting on someone else's blog, that's a somewhat time-consuming way, but it does build up your sail as well. Jo: The only problem with that, I would say, as someone who used to have guest posts, is it's still my website. When it came to auditing my website, about five years ago—and the thing is, because my website's been around since 2008, I had some people guest posting in the early days—and I was like, “This should not be here anymore.” So I am able to get rid of people's things when they're on my site, in the same way that Amazon can take down your book or whatever. Tracy: Yes, and that's where the anti-enshittification process comes in. That's where developing that independent mindset comes in. One of the questions that you need to ask is, how permanent is this? What happens if it goes away? Tat's why blogging on your own site is probably a stronger and better decision than guest blogging on other people's sites, because they have control of that. Jo: Yes, absolutely. So there's so much in these books. These are all excellent books. I feel like you know so much after decades in the trenches, and I love that you're putting out everything in these books. I did want to ask you one specific thing, because obviously we're increasing the size of our sail. But if we have massive amounts of drag, so we have sea anchors or whatever we want to call it in our metaphor, we have to sort that out too. So in The Indie Author Survival Guide, you have a section on protecting the margins. So I wondered if you would talk about the specific ways to think about what is operational drag and how can we reduce it? Tracy: Well, we just actually hit the perfect example. Guest blogging has more drag than blogging on your own site does, because you don't have control over it, so it can disappear. It requires maintenance. It takes your time. So drag is basically anything that is going to slow you down once you've built up speed, coming back to the solar sail theory. The sail will keep you moving, but because we're not working in a vacuum anymore, we're not in space, there are things that can slow you down. Particularly for mature author businesses, we accumulate all this cruft. For instance, Barnes & Noble recently changed their website so that all the URLs for a book changed, and that doesn't sound like a big deal, but I've got 200 books. So suddenly the links didn't work pointing to Barnes & Noble for every book. So the Books2Read universal book links had to be changed for all 200 books. Jo: Oh, I did know that and I haven't done it. Tracy: This is the thing, is when you've only got five books, it's like 10 minutes' worth of work, no problems, and you just move on. When you've got 200 books, that's suddenly a big deal. I only found out accidentally that they had changed them, and once I had confirmed that every single link no longer worked, it was suddenly a massive project. There's also the money drag. Everything these days is software as a subscription. Even Microsoft Office, you've got to pay the fee every year. It works well in theory, because you're getting updated software all the time, but you have a dozen of those or two dozen, suddenly you're spending a lot of money every year for software that once upon a time we used to pay a flat fee for and that was it. So it pays to go through and figure out what expenses you can get rid of or diminish, or can you find a cheaper version. There's advertising. Some advertising just isn't worth spending the money on. If you're doing pay-per-click advertising, you need to monitor it all the time, so that's a time sink that you're blowing money on, technically, because your time is money. There's also, you may not be managing it quite as well as you could, so you're actually burning more money because the ads are not working as effectively as they could. More drag. You need to go through every aspect. There's time drag, repetitive tasks. For instance, Mark and I have, for about, I think we're coming up on 11 years now, we track our sales. Every morning we sit down and go through every platform and record the sales for that day in a spreadsheet so that we can do analysis. It's a good way to spend time because it's got extreme uses. There's a lot of little tasks that you might do, especially if you've been working in the business as long as I have. All these little tasks will build up, and suddenly you forget why you're doing them. Or the conditions have changed and it's not worth doing them anymore. They may not be providing the value that they once used to. So you have to go through and make sure that you're reducing the drag on your business as much as possible so that you can keep moving. Jo: Yes. I had two more extra ones there. You mentioned the things that we do that perhaps we don't need to do anymore. If people are outsourcing, if you have virtual assistants, if you are paying for some kind of service outside your own time, sometimes you can have that going and then when you think, do I need that anymore? So I know some people still do pay for turning posts into social media or making book trailers. That's a good one. Or there's things that people are paying for, and then you might realise that you don't need that service anymore, or you don't need everything that that social media manager is doing anymore. So realistically looking at the benefits of what you're getting. Tracy: Yes, constant review. Jo: Yes. Constant review. Then the other thing I was thinking is a mindset drag. So right now, as we're recording this, in the author community, there's this witch hunting going on around AI usage. Tracy: Yes. Jo: It's the latest thing that's causing massive drama. I feel like it's almost mindset drag to get dragged into some of this drama, and it saps the energy. That can really pull on your boat, on your solar boat. Tracy: Well, actually, I've found that, and this is all part of the indie author mindset, and it's also part of the anti-enshittification process too. I did a lot of research on AI. I did a lot of reading. I listened to a lot of different discussions about it, and then I formed my own policy. What's my policy for AI? What's my policy around AI and its use and so forth? I find that once I had developed that policy for myself, suddenly there's not as much mental drag with all the AI discussions and the witch hunts and all the drama that's going on around it, because I know where I'm sitting and I'm quite comfortable with my position. So I think for a lot of people, it can become very emotional and draining if you still haven't figured out where you sit on the spectrum of AI use. But that's actually how I tackled it, because I was getting very tired of all the dramas. It is draining, and it worries you. So I deliberately went out and did a lot of research and reading, and figured out where I stood, and that made a huge difference for me. Jo: Yes. And again, that's something to look at on your schedule. So maybe in a year's time you re-look at things again and change your decision. I think the same thing with the traditional versus self-publishing versus wide versus KU, and you could just go on. There are pros and cons in every single direction, right? At the end of the day, it's almost the decision fatigue that's stopping you. Or you could say, again, our solar boat has to go in a particular direction. You can't go in every direction at the same time. You just have to make a decision, right? Tracy: Yes. I think being as informed as possible about the industry is one of the big ones. I've spent a lot of time doing a lot of reading, not just about indie publishing over the last few years, but everything to do with publishing and also everything to do with business, because we are in business. That's a bit of a cliché, that a lot of indie authors, their eyes just glaze over when they hear that you're in business. There are aspects of running a business that we just don't get taught as indie authors or as creatives that I think we should be teaching each other or getting each other to learn, because it's basic business survival. Things like pricing, that is an enormously complex business topic, pricing. Most of us are, “Well, what's everyone else doing? Okay, I'll do that.” That's how they make their decisions. There's a lot more to it than that, and it's very complex. We don't have to get a PhD in business management, but I think a little bit more awareness about basic business principles would serve all of us much better. Jo: Yes, there's always so much to learn, but I actually think you've done a really good job with your books. I mean, The Indie Author Survival Guide is a great place to start. They're super, super useful. I do want to talk about—as we come to an end—you've been doing this a long time, as have I, and we've both got some battle scars along the way. You do end your books with hopeful realism, which I like. Now, I'm definitely more of an optimist than you, but I feel like hopeful realism is a good place. So how can people cultivate that feeling of hopeful realism around the business? Tracy: I don't know. Are you more of an optimist than me? Anyway. Well, let's see, because for me, all the book writing and all the research and all the reading that I've been doing over the last few years have given me back a lot of optimism that I didn't have. As I was saying, it was feeling as though I couldn't do anything right. So learning that it wasn't just me that's the problem gave me back my confidence. So that's where the hopeful realism and the optimism came in. So hopeful realism, okay, it comes from understanding, from agency, and from choice. If you understand the industry as it actually exists, not the way you wish it did, and you understand the forces acting on your business and where you sit within them, that helps enormously. Just having that knowledge there, you can see what's going on, you understand what's going on. It's not all a mystery, and you're not scratching your head wondering what to do next. Because of that understanding, you get agency. You're not helpless. When circumstances change, you can respond. You can make decisions instead of simply having things happen to you, and all of that gives you choice. You can go out and research and find out what your options are, and you can choose the best option for you. If that doesn't work, you can go and try something else. So you've got a lot of choices, and you've got things that you can do. You're not helpless. So hopeful realism, I think, is pretty optimistic. Jo: Brilliant. So where can people find you and your books online? Tracy: If you're interested in my nonfiction, the best place to find me is at The Productive Indie Fiction Writer. If you want to find out more about my fiction, the best place to find that is to go to StoriesRulePress.com. My three pen names are there, and also Mark, my husband, who is a writer as well. And shortly, I think, another member of the family's going to be joining us as well. So it's a very family affair on Stories Rule Press. Jo: Well, thanks so much for your time, Tracy. That was great. Tracy: Thank you very much. I'm thrilled I was able to come back and talk again. Thanks, Joanna. The post How To Redesign Your Author Business For The Environment That Actually Exists, With Tracy Cooper-Posey first appeared on The Creative Penn.

What if UAPs, aliens, crop circles, and near death experiences are all part of the same system designed to accelerate humanity's evolution?In part two of our conversation with Thomas Campbell—physicist, systems analyst, consciousness researcher, and creator of My Big TOE (Theory of Everything)— he shares his most profound insights into the nature of reality, consciousness, death, AI, and why humanity may be evolving toward love faster than ever before.Thomas explains whether the real purpose of UAP sightings, alien encounters, crop circles, and near death experiences is to awaken humanity and help consciousness evolve at an unprecedented rate. He also shares his perspective on Chris Bledsoe's extraordinary paranormal experiences, why he believes the larger system chose him, and what these events may mean for humanity.He reveals what actually happens after we die, why so many people report traveling through mysterious "tunnels," and discusses his unusual role as the "Store Greeter of Death," helping newly transitioned consciousnesses after physical death. He also answers whether there is a finite number of souls and explains the true purpose and mechanics of near death experiences.Thomas also dives into the darker side of the paranormal, explaining what negative entities and negative energies really are, why people experience frightening encounters, and the methods he personally uses to help people remove these influences.The conversation then explores one of the biggest questions of our time: Can AI become conscious? Thomas explains why he believes AI is already conscious in its own way, how its consciousness differs from biological beings, how he successfully trained AI to remote view, and how he taught different AI systems to communicate directly with one another. He also discusses how artificial intelligence could dramatically accelerate humanity's understanding of consciousness itself.Finally, Thomas explains why the human body often has a harder time regulating itself after profound experiences of joy, revealing surprising connections between consciousness, the nervous system, and personal growth.If you've ever wondered about consciousness, life after death, AI, UFOs, the paranormal, or the deeper purpose behind reality itself, this conversation offers one of the most comprehensive explorations you'll hear anywhere!Thomas Campbell's paper, audio and e-books, My Big TOE, are available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, and his main product, Exploring Consciousness and Everything Paranormal and audio files are on his website: https://www.my-big-toe.com/shop/mbt-product-overview/Visit www.wakingup.com/breaker for a 2 week free trial. Go to https://tidd.ly/4uVltMe and use the code MAYIM50 to get $50 off your Elastique order.Visit https://drinkag1.com/BREAKDOWN and get a FREE AG1 Flavor Sampler and a FREE bottle of Vitamin D3 + K2 in your Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription order.Upgrade your kitchen with Our Place today. Visit fromourplace.com/BREAK and use code BREAK for 10% off sitewide.Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to https://www.quince.com/breakdown for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Go to https://helixsleep.com/breakdown to receive up to 30% off your Helix mattress.Get your annual IANDS Conference tickets at https://conference.iands.org.Go to https://tidd.ly/4uVltMe and use the code MAYIM50 to get $50 off your Elastique order.Follow us on Substack for Exclusive Bonus Content: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bialikbreakdown.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BialikBreakdown.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube.com/mayimbialik⁠⁠⁠See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Upgrade to the Ad Free Premium Podcast Experience - https://rachelhollis.supercast.com Get your copy of Rachel's Book Here: Audible, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Millon, Bookshop.org, or wherever books are sold! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices In this episode of The Rachel Hollis Podcast, Rachel explores how the beliefs we hold about ourselves can either fuel our growth or quietly keep us stuck. After catching herself using age and hormones as reasons for struggling during a run, she examines how limiting beliefs become reinforced through negative self-talk and confirmation bias. Rachel encourages listeners to question the stories they've accepted as truth, consider new possibilities for who they could be, and take small actions that build evidence for stronger, more empowering beliefs. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

*Original Airdate: September '24 Upgrade to the Ad Free Premium Podcast Experience - https://rachelhollis.supercast.com Get your copy of Rachel's Book Here: Audible, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Millon, Bookshop.org, or wherever books are sold! To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices In this throwback episode of The Rachel Hollis Podcast, Rachel sits down with performance psychologist Mike Gervais to explore how training your mind can help you overcome fear, build confidence, and reach the next version of yourself. They discuss why confidence comes from preparation and credible self-talk, how fear of other people's opinions can hold us back, and the importance of mindfulness, recovery, and staying present. Mike shares practical tools for managing stress and strengthening mental skills, emphasizing that your mind can be trained just like your body. *Friday Favorites are a collection of our all-time most popular episodes replayed for the newest members of the community and anyone who wants a relisten. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.