Choose Your News

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We scour the internet 24/7/365 to find the weirdest, wackiest, and wildest stories that you might have missed.

Justin Walker


    • Sep 24, 2019 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 24m AVG DURATION
    • 31 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Choose Your News

    Choose Your News - Ep. 31

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2019 24:07


    Mules, clowns, and elder copulation (the most gentile way I could think to write it.) Geezers bonin'. There you go.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 30

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2019 28:40


    A high clown detonates a poop bomb in his neighbor's car, a stupid clown tries to stuff his drawers with steak, and a stuffed clown scares the stuffing out of someone.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 29

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 13, 2019 24:54


    This episode is so hot you'll have a neverending boner, your toilet will explode, and then we'll send you an exorbitant fine.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 28

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 6, 2019 24:56


    E.T. insurance phones home, one man's severed penis is now a bone alone, and delivery person behavior you won't condone and disown.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 27

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2019 25:29


    Alligators get past their would-be captors, a Georgia family passes on a marijuana cake, and passed gas leads to jailtime.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 26

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2019 27:00


    A crappy way to clog a toilet, a crappy way to treat your bridesmaids, and a crappy pool leads to a lot of crap.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 25

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2019 36:27


    It's the episode 25 LIVE spectacular starring Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge!

    Choose Your News - Ep. 24

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 28, 2019 23:23


    Celebrity marriages never last, Mississippi abductions do, and milk-thief revenge is a dish best served ice cold.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 23

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2019 26:19


    A boat ride gone bad, a different kind of spotty clouds, and a bridge too far.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 22

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2019 27:46


    Don't Google today's topics unless you want to be on an FBI watch list. We've got elderly sex parties, hot bovine makeout sessions and a huge snake in bathroom.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 21

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2019 29:13


    Bezos stretches for the moon, rich people stretch their dollar, and Britain's Got Talent stretches the limit of your gag reflex.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 20

    Play Episode Listen Later May 14, 2019 26:55


    A man takes a dip in a strange place, television finally embraces Floridaman, and bridezillas attack!

    Choose Your News - Ep. 19

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2019 26:38


    You eat WHAT?! You don't wash WHAT?! You're related to WHO?!

    Choose Your News - Ep. 18

    Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2019 24:43


    A game of cups, The Britney Spears Toxic Water Center, and stupid things lawyers say.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 17

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 27, 2018 25:40


    I'm Batman, drivers' ed goes wrong, and gay muppets.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 16

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 17, 2018 25:22


    Flossing baboons, Amazon's on shrooms, and a family has more bedrooms!

    Choose Your News - Ep. 15

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2018 22:35


    Are we holding animals back? Did a t-rex rob the Easter bunny? Does Fortnight cause divorce?

    Choose Your News - Ep. 14

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2018 19:40


    Kindergarten stripper-poles in China, ghost hunting to a new level in Connecticut, and real fake knives in Japan.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 13

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 31, 2018 24:30


    In this cursed thirteenth episode we talk a goat on the lam, a Godzilla on the loose, and a Michael Jackson on the Simpsons. Listen ... if you dare!

    Choose Your News - Ep. 12

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 29, 2018 21:55


    Bald brides, bear blocking, and bold birds.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 11

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2018 21:40


    Eggbutts, lemon thieves, and repeat offense by criminal squirrels.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 10

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2018 22:30


    It's a packed-full "animal style" edition starring parrots, cookies, and goats! It's the G.O.A.T!

    Choose Your News - Ep. 9

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 15, 2018 22:33


    Britney's spending habits, Colorado schools make 3-day weekends permanent, and finding Dad's old love letters backfires.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 8

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2018 21:29


    Ghost lovers, old metalheads, and grand theft aero.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 7

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2018 23:21


    Deadly alligators, slighted filmmakers, and cat-poop risk takers.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 6

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 1, 2018 21:53


    Bigfoot porn, waiting in lines for cash, and the newest in sex doll technology.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 5

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 30, 2018 20:34


    Painted asses, grand theft shark, and drug-fueled potato binges.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 4

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2018 22:04


    Parents are a riot, a fertile giraffe, and drunk seagulls.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 3

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 23, 2018 21:05


    Squirrel burglars, cloned meat, and barefoot walkers. Oh my.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 2

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 19, 2018 21:02


    A dead man lives, Jeff Goldblum is huge, and robot burgers are on the menu.

    Choose Your News - Ep. 1

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 17, 2018 20:03


    Diamondbacks reliever Archie Bradley poops himself, a flamingo on the lam, and a cow attack!

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