Parenting Counter-Intuitively

What difference does it make what we do when our kids can't see us? In this episode, we take a look at the importance of consistent character and how building consistent habits make us better parents.What's something that you do occasionally that would make you a better person and a better parent if you did it consistently? Your kids really will be able to tell the difference and it will impact who they are becoming.  If you'd like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI 

In season 1 episode 4, Tammy and Josh talked about prioritizing your purpose and your marriage ahead of your kids so that you would be equipped to be an even better parent.This time, for the first time, we'll have an episode without Tammy and instead Josh is joined by his longtime mentor and friend Tim.This topic is specifically for the guys, so ladies, you can tune out for this one and just recommend this episode to some of the men in your life.This is a podcast about parenting, so why would we dedicate an episode to how to be a better husband? That's certainly counterintuitive!Kids need their mom to be at her best, and it's a big part of our job as dads to make sure that she has what she needs and that we're on the same page.We talk through 5 ways that husbands can equip our wives and do our part to equip our kids to develop into successful adults:She's for you, not against youYour wife is the most beautiful woman that has ever livedIf you work hard to meet her needs, then she will be freed up to meet your needs better than you can yourself (security, stability, provision)Ask her once in a while if she would marry you (and treat her in a way that you'll get a ‘yes')What kind of man do you look up to? A selfish cheater or a selfless supporter?This is far from an exhaustive list, and even these 5 can seem overwhelming, but you can pick one and take one consistent step to enjoy your wife more and more every day.As always, we don't expect everyone to agree that these concepts are correct or are right for your family but if it gets you thinking and more intentional with your parenting then it's worthwhile.If you'd like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI 

While most of us would say that truth-telling is intuitive, sometimes we still tell "little white lies" or worse, and by our reactions, we as parents can unintentionally incentivize our kids to bend the truth. In this episode, we'll expand the definition of a lie and advocate for the idea of being absolutist in modeling and insisting on truth-telling.We'll unpack this counterintuitive topic, provide some examples, including an interview with our 14 year old grandson, and leave you with some practical ideas for putting this into practice in your own family.As always, we don't expect everyone to agree that this concept is correct or is right for your family but if it gets you thinking and more intentional with your parenting then it's worthwhile.If you'd like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI 

Aren't strangers supposed to be avoided for real safety reasons?  Yes and no. Kids definitely need to be wary of strangers handing out free candy from a van a half a block from the school, but saying that kids shouldn't accept rides from strangers or that they should be wary of anything that seems too good to be true is different from not TALKING to strangers.We'll unpack this counterintuitive topic, provide some examples, including an interview with our 30 year old entrepreneurial daughter, and leave you with some practical ideas for putting this into practice in your own family.As always, we don't expect everyone to agree that this concept is correct or is right for your family but if it gets you thinking and more intentional with your parenting then it's worthwhile.If you'd like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI 

Don't set rules for Dating?!?  That sounds disastrous! If we don’t set rules, they’ll do all kinds of crazy out-of-bounds stuff, won’t they?  Yes, without any rules, it would be crazy, but we don’t say there shouldn’t BE rules, but that as parents there are big questions like when to start dating that we need to coach them into creating their OWN rules for.Our guests in this episode are the authors of "Protecting His Workmanship", a practical interactive and thoroughly Biblical study through which you can allow the Lord to speak His standards of sexual purity into your child’s life. http://www.searchforthetruth.net/store/books/protecting-his-workmanship/ This episode isn't just about sex and dating, but has broad application in helping your kids to develop the wisdom and autonomy to be able to set and stick to their own rules for important life decisions.Finally, we’ll leave you with a couple of practical ways you can put this counter-intuitive concept into practice today.As always, we don’t expect everyone to agree that this concept is correct or is right for your family but if it gets you thinking and more intentional with your parenting then it’s worthwhile.If you’d like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI 

Aren't we supposed to provide the things our kids want and need?!? How are they going to be good kids if we don't manage their finances for them?In this episode we unpack some of the difficulties and benefits of setting up our kids to make their own economic decisions.Our Son and his wife will join us as a guest on this episode, and discuss how principles of economic responsibility have benefited them as adults and as a married couple.Finally, we’ll leave you with a couple of practical ways you can put this counter-intuitive concept into practice today.As always, we don’t expect everyone to agree that this concept is correct or is right for your family but if it gets you thinking and more intentional with your parenting then it’s worthwhile.If you’d like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI 

Aren't we supposed to help our kids solve their problems?!? How are they going to function if they don't get their problems solved?In this episode we unpack some of the benefits of coaching our kids to learn to try and solve their own problems before bringing those issues to mom or dad.Our granddaughter will join us as a guest on this episode, and discuss how her mom and dad (our daughter) puts this into practice in their family and how it works out from her perspective.Finally, we’ll leave you with a couple of practical ways you can put this counter-intuitive concept into practice today.As always, we don’t expect everyone to agree that this concept is correct or is right for your family but if it gets you thinking and more intentional with your parenting then it’s worthwhile.If you’d like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI

Aren't we supposed to shelter our kids from embarrassment?!?In this episode we unpack some of the benefits of inoculating your kids against embarrassment and long term confidence that can be built with the right intentional support.Our 29 year old daughter will join us as a guest on this episode, and discuss how we embarrassed her and how that helped her in high school and beyond, along with how she's putting this principle into practice with her own kids.Finally, we’ll leave you with a couple of practical ways you can put this counter-intuitive concept into practice depending on what stage your kids are in.As always, we don’t expect everyone to agree that this concept is correct or is right for your family but if it gets you thinking and more intentional with your parenting then it’s worthwhile.If you’d like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI

Is it wise to feed our kids appetite for attention? If so when, and what are the consequences if we're not intentional about it?We'll answer these questions with some examples from our 3 decades of parenting and other resources, then provide some specific ways that you can make some simple improvements that don't even take any extra time.As always, we don’t expect everyone to agree that this concept is correct or is right for your family but if it gets you thinking and more intentional with your parenting then it’s worthwhile.If you’d like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI

This month, we unpack the benefits of airing your dirty laundry for your kids to learn from.After a brief explanation of the concept, we’re joined by our 22 year old son for some real-life application of how this has helped him from his perspective growing up.Finally, we’ll leave you with a couple of practical suggestions for how you can put this counter-intuitive concept into practice in your family.As always, we don’t expect everyone to agree that this concept is correct or is right for your family but if it gets you thinking and more intentional with your parenting then it’s worthwhile.If you’d like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI

This month, we explore what things should be priorities ahead of the kids which counter-intuitively is better for them.After a brief explanation of the concept, we’re joined by our 20 year old daughter for some real-life stories of what this has meant to her from her perspective growing up.Finally, we’ll leave you with a couple of practical ways you can put this counter-intuitive concept into practice depending on what stage your kids are in.As always, we don’t expect everyone to agree that this concept is correct or is right for your family but if it gets you thinking and more intentional with your parenting then it’s worthwhile.If you’d like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI

Isn't it safer to have "no" be your default answer when your kids make a request? In this episode, we take a look at some counter-intuitive benefits to being more intentional when rarely saying no, and instead, saying yes more often.After a brief explanation of the concept, we’re joined by our 29 year old daughter for some real-life stories of what this has meant to her from her perspective growing up, and her own application in her parenting.Finally, we’ll leave you with a couple of practical ways you can put this counter-intuitive concept into practice depending on what stage your kids are in.As always, we don’t expect everyone to agree that this concept is correct or is right for your family but if it gets you thinking and more intentional with your parenting then it’s worthwhile.If you’d like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI

Why wouldn’t you tell your kids that you’re proud of them?!? In this episode, we look at what it means to be proud of something, and propose an alternative that can actually build up our kids even better.After a brief explanation of the concept, we’re joined by our 20 year old daughter for some real-life stories of what this has meant to her from her perspective growing up.Finally, we’ll leave you with a couple of practical ways you can put this counter-intuitive concept into practice depending on what stage your kids are in.As always, we don’t expect everyone to agree that this concept is correct or is right for your family, but if it gets you thinking and more intentional with your parenting, then it’s worthwhile.If you’d like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI

The first episode of the Parenting Counter-Intuitively podcast sets the foundation for the series and the tag-line that sets up what subsequent episodes will be built on.The Parenting Counter-intuitively podcast is intended to pass along some wisdom from a couple parents that have made it through the parenting years and provide some counter-intuitive strategies to get beyond the day to day.In this episode, we’ll discuss why having “good kids” is not the goal of parenting, provide a couple examples from our experience, and give you a practical takeaway to help you determine what success looks like for your children.Your definition of success might be very different from ours, and we certainly don’t expect everyone to agree with us on every point or every episode, but if it gets you thinking and being more intentional, then it’s worthwhile.If you’d like to provide feedback, please contact us through our facebook page: facebook.com/ParentingCI