PrimeTime w/“I AM” Andrew

The difference between being married spiritually and physically, the ceremony in different cultures, and the breakdown on the marriage licenses.

The word “love” gets thrown around a lot these days and applied to all sorts of types of relationships and emotions. But in the New Testament of the Bible, written in Greek, the authors used more specific terms to describe different types of love. Eros Love. This is the love we see celebrated in music and movies. That romantic, dizzying, attraction that most couples feel in the initial stages of a relationship. While eros isn’t the whole picture, it’s an important component of a thriving marriage and should be nurtured over the long term. Putting effort into the things that made eros so easy in the beginning. Continuing to date, even after the kids come along. Making time for intimacy. Agape Love. Agape love is the stuff that holds a marriage and a family together through all kinds of seasons. It’s the selfless, unconditional type of love that helps people to forgive one another, to respect one another, and to serve one another, day in and day out. Unfortunately, many modern couples think that when eros love is lagging, there’s nothing left to bind a marriage together. But agape love is the glue that keeps your relationship intact while you rehabilitate other areas that need work. Respecting your husband, even when you don’t really “like” him or think he deserves it. Serving your husband and family’s needs, even when you’re not sure they truly appreciate it. Forgiving your spouse when he screws up, and understanding that tomorrow it may be you who needs forgiveness. Putting your spouse’s needs before your own. Of course, every marriage needs give and take and you can’t force your spouse to show you the agape love you desire. What you can do to change the temperature and dynamics of your relationship is to model the kind of self-sacrificial love you’d like to receive yourself.

Everyday people suffer in their marriage, in silence, and without anyone knowing. You may want to avoid the judgement or the potential looks, and just avoid the fact that you're not perfect. Thankfully, nobody is perfect and everyone struggles in their own way. Opening up about these struggles can actually help you find accountability and a safe place to work through your issues.

Occasional conflict in marriage is both normal and inevitable. However, how the two of you handle conflict (submitting yourself to the flesh or the Spirit) determines whether it harms your relationship or helps you to grow.  1 Corinthians 7:28, “But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.”  

Good communication is the key to any marriage. Good communication ensures that both you and your spouse feel respected, validated and understood. Communication is the key to avoiding and straightening out any misunderstandings, and to working through problems for a happier future together. Many marriages could be saved if spouses improved the ways they communicate with each other. Nobody's born a natural communicator. Like riding a bike or hitting a baseball, communication in marriage is a skill you can learn. And good communication is the key to improving your relationship.

Communication is one of the most basic skills needed to establish and maintain any human relationship. In marriage it is especially important that a couple master this ability. Whenever you find a successful marriage, you will always find two people who have become skilled at communication. Likewise, wherever you find a failed marriage, a communication breakdown is always one of the root problems. Therefore, it is essential that you learn how to become a better communicator.

Marriage is a covenant, a sacred bond between a man and a woman instituted by and publicly entered into before God. God's plan for the marriage covenant involves at least the following five vital principles:  (1) The permanence of marriage: Marriage is intended to be permanent, since it was established by God (Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:9). Marriage represents a serious commitment that should not be entered into lightly or unadvisedly. It involves a solemn promise or pledge, not merely to one's marriage partner, but before God. Divorce is not permitted except in a very limited number of biblical prescribed circumstances.  (2) The sacredness of marriage: Marriage is not merely a human agreement between two consenting individuals (a "civil union"); it is a relationship before and under God (Genesis 2:22).   (3) The intimacy of marriage: Marriage is the most intimate of all human relationships, uniting a man and a woman in a "one-flesh" union (Genesis 2:23 -25). Marriage involves "leaving" one's family of origin and "being united" to one's spouse, which signifies the establishment of a new family unit distinct from the two originating families. While "one flesh" suggests sexual intercourse and normally procreation, at its very heart the concept entails the establishment of a new kinship relationship between two previously unrelated individuals (and families) by the most intimate of human bonds.  (4) The mutuality of marriage: Marriage is a relationship of free self-giving of one human being to another (Ephesians 5:25-30). The marriage partners are to be first and foremost concerned about the well-being of the other person and to be committed to each other in steadfast love and devotion. This involves the need for forgiveness and restoration of the relationship in the case of sin. Mutuality, however, does not mean sameness in role. Scripture is clear that wives are to submit to their husbands and to serve as their "suitable helpers," while husbands are to bear the ultimate responsibility for the marriage before God (Ephesians 5:22-24; Colossians 3:18; Genesis 2:18, 20).  (5) The exclusiveness of marriage: Marriage is not only permanent, sacred, intimate, and mutual; it is also exclusive (Genesis 2:22-25; 1 Corinthians 7:2-5). This means that no other human relationship must interfere with the marriage commitment between husband and wife. For this reason, Jesus treated sexual immorality of a married person, including even a husband's lustful thoughts, with utmost seriousness (Matthew 5:28; 19:9). For the same reason, premarital sex is also illegitimate, since it violates the exclusive claims of one's future spouse. As the Song of Solomon makes clear, only in the secure context of an exclusive marital bond can free and complete giving of oneself in marriage take place.