Renunciation or cessation of resentment, indignation or anger
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SHOW LINKSSelf-Paced Resources:Subscribe To The Interview Podcast: https://yourlevelfitness.com/podcastNew To The YLF Philosophy? Start Here: ylf30.comDaily Accountability And Structure For Your Self-Paced Inside/Out Process: https://yourlevelfitness.com/daily-emailQ&A Response YouTube Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjSupgaY5KA66MD2IdmCwFhLFbDe-pk1lIndividualized Guidance From DarylCompare All Service Levels: https://yourlevelfitness.com/coachingGet Your Merch, Mugs & Wall QuotesShop The Current Collections: https://yourlevelfitness.shop/collectionsEPISODE DESCRIPTIONIn this episode of The Daryl Perry Podcast, I am talking about forgiveness. What it is, what it is not, and why it is one of the most important foundations of living an inside/out life.Forgiving does not mean forgetting. It does not mean allowing someone to continue making decisions that negatively impact you. It does not mean ignoring patterns or avoiding boundaries. Forgiveness is about letting go of the grudge. It is about understanding that people make mistakes, that we make mistakes, and that we all have blind spots we cannot always see on our own.I talk about therapy, self awareness, and how easy it is to talk ourselves into believing we are right. It is very easy to build a case that absolves us of responsibility. It is much harder to look in the mirror and ask, what am I not seeing here? Where is my shortcoming in this situation?We all have them.Forgiveness starts with ourselves. When we refuse to forgive ourselves, we tend to project that same rigidity onto others. When we finally acknowledge our own blind spots and take ownership, we create space to release resentment toward others as well.That does not mean you give unlimited access. It does not mean you ignore what happened. It means you let go of carrying it for the rest of your life.I also connect this back to health and fitness. The fitness industry has long marketed against our insecurities. Many of us have been taught to punish ourselves into change instead of connecting with ourselves. If you cannot forgive yourself for past decisions, past bodies, past habits, you will struggle to build a forever active lifestyle rooted in appreciation rather than self criticism.Forgiveness is not weakness. It is maturity. It is self awareness. It is growth.If this episode resonates with you, share it. Send it to someone who needs to hear it. Post it in your stories. Text it to a friend. The more we normalize this conversation, the more we create space for real change.Please share this episode with anyone you think would be interested in listening to it.Visit darylperrypodcast.com for links to the show page on each of the major podcast directories. From there, you can subscribe and share this pod.For comments, questions, topic ideas, possible collaborations please email daryl@yourlevelfitness.com
Ready to give Toups a try? Get 25% off your first order by going to http://toupsandco.com/oldsoul and use code OLDSOUL for 25% off your first order. Brave Books: Go to http://www.BraveBooks.com/Easter & Subscribe to the Book Of The Month Club! You'll get a FREE copy of "The Day That Made The Way" + Brave will send you a brand new book every month! Stream 'I Was A Stranger' today! Go to https://www.Angel.com/NWOS to become a premium member today! Ready to Check Out Trust & Will for Yourself? Get 20% off when you go to http://www.trustandwill.com/NEWWORLD Order our book "Made To Be Ludo" here: https://www.gslbook.com Our Vlog Channel (Good Simple Living): https://www.youtube.com/goodsimpleliving To see more find us on https://www.facebook.com/goodsimpleliving or https://www.instagram.com/goodsimpleliving Mailing Address: Good Simple Living 7167 1st ST PO Box 546 Bonners Ferry, ID 83805-0546 For business Inquiries: partnerships@goodsimpleliving.netSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Godfrey, Phyllis Yvonne Stickney, and crew on this episode dive into the legacy of Phil Donohue to discussions around BAFTA, Tourette's, social media discourse, influential books, and legendary comedy figures like T.K. Kirkland, this conversation explores how culture, entertainment, and media continue to shape the way we think.We also break down the impact of An Empire of Their Own, the powerful play Day of Absence, and introduce the concept of Tendernism before wrapping up with a discussion about award show speeches and the entertainment industry.Beat Contest Winner: L8 5hifthttps://open.spotify.com/artist/2yYSvGdO8ATI0l0DKfcoRr?si=kxU7939uRs2ZQT_Z1XLCWAtaconetheartist@gmail.comGuests: Phyillis Yvonne Stickeny, Dante Nero, Yamaneika Saunders & Eva EvansLegendary Comedian Godfrey is LIVE from New York, and joins some of his best friends in stand up comedy, Hip-Hop and Hollywood to talk current events, pop culture, race issues, movies, music, TV and Kung Fu. We got endless impressions, a white producer, random videos Godfrey found on the internet and so much more! We're not reinventing the wheel, we're just talking 'ish twice a week... with GODFREY on In Godfrey We Trust.Original Air Date: 3/3/26SPONSOR:FACTORUse code godfrey50off to get 50% off your first box, plus FreeBreakfast for 1 year at http://FactorMeals.com/godfrey50off----------------------------------------------
COMPANION SAINT PRAYER-St. Mother Teresa, your thirst for Jesus opened your heart to love. Show me where my own soul is parched that I may drink from the Living Water that quenches all desire.SCRIPTURE- John 15:4-5"Remain in me, as I remain in you. Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own unless it remains on the vine, so neither can you unless you remain in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing."REFLECTION- Fr. CarlMUSIC- "Distraction Days" by The Album Leaf & Jimmy LaValle- "Loving and Forgiving" by Tom KendziaNOTES- Lent: Check out the LENT page on The God Minute website to find out more about our programming for this week.PRAYER OF LETTING GOTo You do I belong, O God, into Your hands I surrender my life. Pour out Your Spirit upon me that I may love You perfectly, and serve You faithfully until my soul rests in You.
Many of us grow up learning to take care of everyone else first.For many women — especially Filipina women navigating family expectations, cultural values, and relationships — that can show up as over-functioning, suppressing our needs, and staying in patterns that don't truly support us.In this episode, therapist and social worker Lia Mancao joins us to talk about the relationship patterns many people don't realize they're carrying — and how to start building self-trust, healthier boundaries, and more balanced partnerships.Lia shares insights from her work helping people understand how childhood experiences shape adult relationships, why people often forgive quickly to avoid abandonment, and how we can begin reconnecting with our own needs.This conversation is honest, reflective, and ultimately hopeful — especially if you've ever felt responsible for holding everything together.In This Episode We Talk About• how Filipino culture and family dynamics can shape the way many women show up in relationships• the difference between a “proximityship” and a true partnership, and what self-abandonment actually looks like• why many women over-function in relationships and struggle to name their needs• how to start rebuilding self-trust, boundaries, and healthier relationship patternsListener ReflectionHave you ever noticed yourself doing more than your share in relationships — just to keep things working?What might change if you trusted yourself enough to name your needs?Episode Timestamps00:00 Intro & meet therapist Lia Mancao02:20 Lia's background and path into therapy and social work05:00 Why understanding childhood experiences matters in adult life09:00 Social justice, advocacy, and mental health work12:05 The difference between functional rest vs restorative rest13:55 Why some people struggle to truly relax23:50 Finding micro-moments of rest in busy lives24:55 Relationship patterns many Filipina clients experience26:10 How childhood needs affect adult relationships27:10 Why some people struggle to even identify their needs28:10 Forgiving quickly because of fear of abandonment30:20 How to rebuild self-trust through small actions32:30 Inner child work and what we needed to hear growing up34:00 Giving yourself the apology you never received34:45 The concept of a “proximityship” vs partnership36:30 What self-abandonment actually looks like37:55 Understanding social currency and external validation40:00 The pressure to perform on social media42:00 Adapting without losing authenticity44:00 Knowing when to step back from productivity46:15 Navigating seasons of uncertainty47:10 An inner child reflection practiceConnect with Our GuestFollow Lia and her work:Instagram@alyssamariewellnessWebsitehttps://www.alyssamariewellness.com/Connect with Filipina on the RiseInstagramhttps://www.instagram.com/filipinaontheriseWebsitehttps://www.filipinaontherise.comIf this conversation resonated with you, please consider giving to Filipina on the Rise here: https://www.filipinaontherise.com/donate or leaving a 5-star written review on Apple Podcasts.It helps the show get discovered, allows us to bring on incredible guests, and supports the mission of uplifting Filipina voices and stories.Thank you and Stay Rising!
Forgiveness is giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me…even when it comes to deep pain caused by a parent. To support this ministry financially, visit: https://www.oneplace.com/donate/779/29?v=20251111
Forgiveness is one of the most difficult commands Jesus gives—and one of the most freeing. When someone deeply wounds us, the natural response is to hold tightly to the hurt. We replay the moment, rehearse the injustice, and quietly hope that somehow the person responsible will feel the weight of what they did. But unforgiveness slowly becomes its own prison. Galatians 5:1 reminds us that Christ set us free so we would no longer live in bondage. Yet when we hold onto bitterness, we place a yoke back on our own shoulders. The offense may have been real and painful, but the burden of carrying resentment can slowly consume our hearts. Forgiveness does not mean excusing wrongdoing or pretending the pain never happened. It does not mean that justice is ignored or that trust is instantly restored. Instead, forgiveness means releasing the right to hold someone’s offense over them and entrusting justice to God. Jesus demonstrated this ultimate act of mercy on the cross. Even as He was being crucified, He prayed for those who harmed Him. Through His sacrifice, our sins were forgiven completely—removed as far as the east is from the west. When we remember how much we have been forgiven, it reshapes how we approach the forgiveness of others. Unforgiveness isolates us from the freedom Christ intends for us. Bitterness quietly grows, affecting our peace, our relationships, and even our fellowship with God. But when we release that burden—sometimes slowly, sometimes painfully—we make room for healing. The Holy Spirit empowers us to forgive even when it feels impossible. Forgiveness is not a feeling we wait for; it is a step of obedience we choose. And when we choose it, we begin to experience the freedom Christ died to give us. Main Takeaways Unforgiveness creates emotional and spiritual bondage. Forgiveness releases the burden of bitterness and resentment. Forgiving does not excuse wrongdoing but entrusts justice to God. Christ’s sacrifice reminds us how deeply we have been forgiven. The Holy Spirit empowers believers to forgive even deep wounds. Today’s Bible Verse Galatians 5:1 Your Daily Prayer Prayer excerpt for listeners: “Help me release bitterness and walk in the freedom that forgiveness brings.” Listen to the full prayer here. To view the prayer in written format, visit the links below. Continue growing in faith and encouragement: LifeAudio.com – Christian podcasts and devotionals Crosswalk.com – Daily prayers, articles, and Bible study resources If you like this podcast, be sure to check out our sister podcast, Your Nightly Prayer - an evening Christian prayer podcast to help you end your day in conversation with God. https://www.lifeaudio.com/your-nightly-prayer/ This episode is sponsored by Trinity Debt Management. If you are struggling with debt call Trinity today. Trinity's counselors have the knowledge and resources to make a difference. Our intention is to help people become debt-free, and most importantly, remain debt-free for keeps!" If your debt has you down, we should talk. Call us at 1-800-793-8548 | https://trinitycredit.orgTrinityCredit – Call us at 1-800-793-8548. Whether we're helping people pay off their unsecured debt or offering assistance to those behind in their mortgage payments, Trinity has the knowledge and resources to make a difference. https://trinitycredit.org Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
Who in your life has hurt you so badly that a part of you died? I'm talking about that person who spoke too much or showed up too little, neglected too much or lashed out too often—someone who took advantage of you, or betrayed you, or abused you.How do you forgive that person?In this episode of Live the Bible, we look in the book of Philemon to learn how to truly let go and move on when forgiveness seems impossible. I urge you to listen now.Support the show
Welcome to week ten of our series, Challenge Accepted.Austie Eckley
For 10 March 2026, Tuesday of the Third Week of Lent, based on Matthew 18:21-35
On October 7th, Iris Chaim's son Yotam Chaim was taken hostage by Hamas. For weeks, she held onto hope that he was alive. In an unbelievable turn of events, Yotam escaped captivity - only to be tragically killed by the IDF after being mistaken for a terrorist. In this deeply emotional conversation, Iris and her son Tuval Chaim share how their family faced unimaginable loss and chose a path of faith, resilience, and forgiveness instead of anger. Iris & Tuval opens up about his own struggle with grief, the anger he felt after his brother's death, and how he ultimately channeled that pain into music, healing, and purpose - continuing Yotam's legacy. Together, they tell a powerful story about October 7th, hostages, trauma, hope, and the strength of the Jewish spirit - and how one family turned tragedy into a mission to bring unity, healing, and light to the world.Help the Chaim's org here: https://bit.ly/4suDNL8✬ SPONSORS OF THE EPISODE ✬► The Dream Raffle: Win a $1.2 Million Apartment in Jerusalem (LAST CHANCE!)Help beautiful causes and also walk away with keys to a gorgeous - fully furnished - apartment in Jerusalem (if you win!)Use PROMO code: INSPIRE for $10 OFF + DOUBLE Tickets→ http://bit.ly/4nUg7gV► Wheels To Lease: #1 Car Company For over 35 years, Wheels To Lease has offered stress-free car buying with upfront pricing, no hidden fees, and door-to-door delivery. → CALL/TEXT: 718-871-8715 → EMAIL: inspire@wheelstolease.com → WEB: https://bit.ly/41lnzYU → WHATSAPP: https://wa.link/0w46ce ► BitBean: Smart Custom Software Built for YouYaakov here. Just make the call. They can help you.Reach Out Here→ https://bitbean.link/MeEBlY► Feldheim Books to Grab!→ The Book of Our HeritageA classic three-volume work that explores the Jewish calendar—its holidays, fast days, and traditions—combining laws, Midrashic insights, and teachings of the Sages to inspire and educate Jews of all backgrounds.GET HERE: https://bit.ly/4leLRNL→ Eternal FireThe fire and passion of the legendary Mechanech Rav Shmuel KaufmanGET HERE: https://bit.ly/4cxXXPQ→ The Ahavas Yisrael ProjectA 40-Day Torah-Based Program for Developing Love for Fellow JewsGET HERE: https://bit.ly/4aU48MHJoin the Lchaim Book Club→ https://bit.ly/3YsHoMp_____________________________________✬ IN MEMORY OF ✬ This episode is in memory of: • Miram Sarah bas Yaakov Moshe • Shimon Dovid ben Yaakov Shloima #iftn Lchaim.
SHOW LINKSSelf-Paced Resources:Subscribe To The Interview Podcast: https://yourlevelfitness.com/podcastNew To The YLF Philosophy? Start Here: ylf30.comDaily Accountability And Structure For Your Self-Paced Inside/Out Process: https://yourlevelfitness.com/daily-emailQ&A Response YouTube Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjSupgaY5KA66MD2IdmCwFhLFbDe-pk1lIndividualized Guidance From DarylCompare All Service Levels: https://yourlevelfitness.com/coachingGet Your Merch, Mugs & Wall QuotesShop The Current Collections: https://yourlevelfitness.shop/collectionsEPISODE DESCRIPTIONIn this episode of The Daryl Perry Podcast, I am talking about something that quietly keeps so many people stuck. Forgiving yourself for your past and forgiving yourself for your present.We logically know that we cannot change the past. We know it. But emotionally, we replay it. We reinforce it. We punish ourselves for it. And over time, that creates a loop of regret.If there is behavior that needs to change, change it. Take ownership. Make adjustments. But beating yourself up over and over does not move you forward. It keeps you anchored to who you used to be.Your current circumstances are based on past decisions. That is true. But they do not define you.You still get to decide who you are. You still get to choose what type of person you want to be. You still get to change direction.In this episode, I talk about how regret becomes a pattern, how we can get stuck recycling old stories, and why forgiveness is a necessary part of growth. I also speak to the importance of therapy and having a productive working relationship with a professional who can help you unpack what is hard to untangle alone.You are going to fail again. You are going to mess up again. That is part of being human. Forgive yourself for that too.This is the inside/out approach. Appreciating who and what you see in the mirror. Not just your appearance, but the person underneath. Developing genuine belief in yourself. Building consistency as a skill around your preferences instead of punishment.You are not your worst decision.You are not your regret.You are allowed to change direction.Please share this episode with anyone you think would be interested in listening to it.Visit darylperrypodcast.com for links to the show page on each of the major podcast directories. From there, you can subscribe and share this pod.For comments, questions, topic ideas, possible collaborations please email daryl@yourlevelfitness.com
Behind every healed heart is a story of radical forgiveness and God's redeeming love. This week on the Known Legacy Podcast, the guys sit down with John Smithbaker, founder of Fathers in the Field Ministry—a powerful outreach that pairs godly men with fatherless boys to introduce them to their Heavenly Father and guide them toward healing. John vulnerably shares his own transformative journey: growing up abandoned by his earthly father, wrestling with deep wounds, coming to Christ, and ultimately choosing forgiveness—which set him free and sparked the vision for Fathers in the Field. He now equips men to walk through the same process of forgiveness, releasing bitterness and stepping into the fullness God intends. If you've been hurt by an absent or broken father figure, struggle with unforgiveness, or want to help others find freedom, this raw and redemptive conversation is for you. It's a reminder that no wound is beyond God's healing grace. Listen or watch the full episode this Thursday—wherever you subscribe, or on YouTube! Learn more about Fathers in the Field and how churches can get involved: fathersinthefield.com https://knownlegacy.org/mens-retreat Wake Up, Gear Up, and Come Alive! Known Legacy Mens Retreat Arrowhead camp Cleburne TX April 10-12th 2026 Take a break from the noise and step into a weekend designed just for you—a time to rest, recharge, and rediscover who God created you to be. Whether you're running on empty or just need to hit pause, this retreat is your invitation to refocus on your purpose and build deeper connections with other men on the journey. What's Included: * Intentional time to slow down and breathe * Dynamic worship & powerful teaching sessions * Epic cornhole tournament * Basketball, disc golf, gaga ball, 9 square, horseshoes & lawn games * Archery & archery tag * Indoor activity center: foosball, ping-pong, carpet ball, board games & movie nights * Meaningful conversations & memories that last Cost: * $300 per person (double room occupancy) * $400 per person (single room occupancy) ⚠️ Spots are limited — don't wait to sign up! Scholarships available! Email: bill@knownlegacy.org for more info. https://knownlegacy.org/mens-retreat Chapters (00:00:01) - Known Legacy Podcast(00:02:06) - Pet Peeve of the Day(00:04:53) - Do You Wish You Had A CB With A Handle?(00:06:01) - Driving Lessons For College Students(00:08:46) - John Smith Baker on Fathering(00:10:30) - John on Fathers in the Field(00:17:58) - "Do I Believe in God?"(00:19:15) - What's the Power of a Campfire(00:20:09) - The Cause of the Fatherless(00:22:00) - Bradley on Fatherhood(00:24:15) - What Advice Should I Give to a Divorced Dad?(00:29:12) - The Command to Ask For Forgiveness(00:32:50) - Discussing the Structure of the Church(00:33:05) - Forgive Me(00:36:11) - John on Being Fatherless(00:39:09) - Three Questions for the Gospel(00:40:40) - John on The Known Legacy Podcast
Bill English of Bible and Business and On Path Coaching outlines the why behind the emotional disconnect that's often present in a marriage relationship and how to bless those we really care about. Mike Hood, the author of "The If That Changes Everything: What If You Could Believe That Jesus Rose from the Dead?," shares how the experience of being with someone at the end of life changes us. The Reconnect with Carmen and all Faith Radio podcasts are made possible by your support. Give now: Click here
Dr. Adam shares on what God instructs us to do regarding forgiving those who wrong us.
Important question: how do you handle conflict in your relationship? Are you a person who bursts out in anger or are you someone who completely shuts down? In this program, Chip shares why neither of those approaches work well. Hear what the Bible says about resolving conflict in marriage. Don't miss how we should respond to our spouse when tension and disagreement inevitably come.How to resolve conflict peaceably:I. The command – we are to deal with our mates as Christ deals with us. -Colossians 3:13-15“Bear with one another” – cause of tension“Forgiving one another” – hurt and/or offense“Whoever has a complaint” – personalized, ongoing“Just as the Lord forgave you” – required response“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts” – let God be the umpire“Called into one body” – priority of unity“Be thankful” – focus on what we have, not what's lackingII. We all respond to “tension” positively or negatively.III. How to “DIFFUSE” conflict in your marriageD - DEFINE the problem on your own. -Proverbs 15:14 & 21:2I - INITIATE a time to talk. -Matthew 5:23-24F - FOCUS on the “perceived” problem, not the person. -Proverbs 18:19F - FEEL their pain as though it were your own. -Proverbs 17:17U - UNCOVER the root problem. -Proverbs 20:5S - SET things right between you. -James 5:16E - ESTABLISH a specific action plan that addresses the issue discussed; write it down. -James 1:22-25Broadcast ResourceDownload MP3Message NotesAdditional Resource MentionsI Choose Love BookConnect888-333-6003WebsiteChip Ingram AppInstagramFacebookTwitterPartner With UsDonate Online888-333-6003
Mark 2:1-5 Forgiving Sins Reba Stanley
Pastor Mike will be speaking on The Characteristics of a Forgiving Person Part 2. He will be reading out of Philemon 1:1-7. True faith expresses itself in love, and not just in my love for God, but remember that Jesus taught us that the second commandment is like unto it, that you would love your […] The post The Characteristics of a Forgiving Person Part 2 first appeared on Hope Worth Having.
In this lecture, we explain the meanings of Allah's names Al Ghafoor, Ar-Rahmaan and Ar-Raheem, showing how His vast and continuous mercy appears through forgiveness, provision, guidance, compassion, divine laws, and His love for those who repent before death.
Trending with Timmerie - Catholic Principals applied to today's experiences.
Alma Reyes shared her story of her marriage being saved from the brink of divorce after infidelity, STDs, alcoholism, Yoga, and more. Episode Guide Joining the Marines at 17 & getting married (2:25) Separating from husband & facing an STD (11:57) Coming from a fatherless home (16:46) Marriage retreat (25:00) Forgiving her husband after he cheated (27:49) Questions (39:21) Advice for navigating infidelity through a Catholic lens (42:43) Confession (44:25) Meatless meals (47:28) Resources mentioned: Heal from betrayal trauma https://www.bloomforcatholicwomen.com/ Impossible Marriages Redeemed: They Didn't End the Story in the Middle https://www.amazon.com/Impossible-Marriages-Redeemed-Didnt-Middle/dp/0997989327 Lamb of God Maternity Home https://lambofgodmaternityhome.org/ https://www.40daysforlife.com/en/
How do you handle conflict? Are you a person who bursts out in anger or are you someone who completely shuts down? In this message, Chip explains why neither of those approaches work well and offers a third option to resolve conflict in marriage. Don't miss how you can radically transform your relationship!How to resolve conflict peaceably:I. The command – we are to deal with our mates as Christ deals with us. -Colossians 3:13-15“Bear with one another” – cause of tension“Forgiving one another” – hurt and/or offense“Whoever has a complaint” – personalized, ongoing“Just as the Lord forgave you” – required response“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts” – let God be the umpire“Called into one body” – priority of unity“Be thankful” – focus on what we have, not what's lackingII. We all respond to “tension” positively or negatively.III. How to “DIFFUSE” conflict in your marriageD - DEFINE the problem on your own. -Proverbs 15:14 & 21:2I - INITIATE a time to talk. -Matthew 5:23-24F - FOCUS on the “perceived” problem, not the person. -Proverbs 18:19F - FEEL their pain as though it were your own. -Proverbs 17:17U - UNCOVER the root problem. -Proverbs 20:5S - SET things right between you. -James 5:16E - ESTABLISH a specific action plan that addresses the issue discussed; write it down. -James 1:22-25Broadcast ResourceDownload MP3Message NotesAdditional Resource MentionsI Choose Love BookConnect888-333-6003WebsiteChip Ingram AppInstagramFacebookTwitterPartner With UsDonate Online888-333-6003
Have you ever looked at another marriage and thought: I want what they have? In this program, Chip explains that those types of marriages have learned a very important skill. It may be one of the hardest lessons to learn, but if you can do it, you'll radically transform your relationship. Wanna know what it is? Then don't miss this next message.How to resolve conflict peaceably:I. The command – we are to deal with our mates as Christ deals with us. -Colossians 3:13-15“Bear with one another” – cause of tension“Forgiving one another” – hurt and/or offense“Whoever has a complaint” – personalized, ongoing“Just as the Lord forgave you” – required response“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts” – let God be the umpire“Called into one body” – priority of unity“Be thankful” – focus on what we have, not what's lackingII. We all respond to “tension” positively or negatively.III. How to “DIFFUSE” conflict in your marriageD - DEFINE the problem on your own. -Proverbs 15:14 & 21:2I - INITIATE a time to talk. -Matthew 5:23-24F - FOCUS on the “perceived” problem, not the person. -Proverbs 18:19F - FEEL their pain as though it were your own. -Proverbs 17:17U - UNCOVER the root problem. -Proverbs 20:5S - SET things right between you. -James 5:16E - ESTABLISH a specific action plan that addresses the issue discussed; write it down. -James 1:22-25Broadcast ResourceDownload MP3Message NotesAdditional Resource MentionsI Choose Love BookConnect888-333-6003WebsiteChip Ingram AppInstagramFacebookTwitterPartner With UsDonate Online888-333-6003
Prayer for Forgiving Myself for her Daily Spiritual Espresso published on February 27, 2026 which you can access here: https://powerofloveministry.net/unkept-agreements-drag-us-down-2/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Forgiving Infidelity: If, when, and how to forgive or apologize when a partner has been unfaithful - a short interview with Dr. Tara Smith. Listen to caller's personal dramas four times each week as Dr. Kenner takes your calls and questions on parenting, romance, love, family, marriage, divorce, hobbies, career, mental health - any personal issue! Call anytime, toll free 877-Dr-Kenner. Visit www.drkenner.com for more information about the show (where you can also download free chapter one of her serious relationships guidebook).
Ma$e, Cam'ron & Treasure "Stat Baby" Wilson are back with another one!! Please rate, review, and follow the podcast for more content. Sign up with promo code IIWII and play $5 to get $75 in bonus funds: https://play.underdogfantasy.com/p-itiswhatitis #UDpartnerMake sure to support the show by hitting the link in the bio and downloading the Underdog app. Use code MASE, CAM, or STAT to get up to $1,000 in bonus funds with your first deposit! Follow the show and our hosts on social media: It Is What It Is, Cam'Ron, Ma$e, and Treasure "Stat Baby" Wilson , Producer Ayooo Nick Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Is there something you've experienced that was so painful, you haven't been able to fully forgive?Living on this earth opens us up to ample opportunities tobe hurt, betrayed and even victimized. We all have had varying degrees of emotional, physical, sexual and spiritual pain, with the damage ranging from mild to life-altering, and devastating. The bigger the nightmare event in our lives, the harder it can be to forgive the perpetrators. We by nature maywant revenge, or to make our offenders "pay" and can hold onto anger, rage and bitterness knowingly or even unknowingly. We can't fully forgive in and of ourselves, without God.Fortunately, we serve a God that is well aware of our earthly struggles with forgiveness. God is not standing off in a corner of the room, judging us for our frail, and fragile hearts that war with what feels like letting someone off the hook. God, in His perfect love, has provided ways to walk through the forgiveness journey. Listen in today as Tiffany Jo Bakerspeaks with Mark Sowersby, the author of Forgiving the Nightmare which discusses the hidden hell that God brought him out of, and how he was able to forgive his abuser and the incredible freedom that was waiting for him on the other side.Listen in for:Why unforgiveness opens the door to satan's attacksHow God is waiting to walk you through the forgiveness journeyWays you can discover that you are truly forgiving and healingFavorite Quotes:"I didn't start this story or testimony by seeking forgiveness, I started it by seeking the Lord, and the Lord would bring me toforgiveness." - Mark Sowersby"It was God's words that became sweeter, and louder than my abuser's words." - Mark Sowersby"Forgiveness comes in waves, and seasons." - Mark SowersbyFavorite Scripture:"If you forgive others when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive them, your sins will not be forgiven." - Matthew 6:14-15To learn more about Mark Sowersby, his ministry and all ofhis resources, please visit http://www.forgivingthenightmare.com. *Want timely words, resources, and episodes delivered rightto your inbox to help you fuel and fulfill your faith journey? Simply subscribe today to never miss an episode at https://www.tiffanyjobaker.com/subscribe (don'tworry, you won't get spam or excessive emails)*If you're looking for perfectly polished people or podcast,this isn't for you.. We're real people, with real good information, and a really great God. Don't miss the next Tiffany Jo Baker Podcast episode as wecontinue to help you GET FREE, LIVE FULL & THANK GOD! You can watch on YouTube and https://www.tiffanyjobaker.com/tiffany-jo-baker-podcast or listen in on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or your favorite podcast player. Ratings and reviews are like high-fives and “go-girl's” on podcasts. Helping you refresh and refocus so you can do all the thingsyou are called and created to do, my 31 Day Devotional “Soul-Care for Go-Getters” is available on Amazon and my website shop here. ( https://www.tiffanyjobaker.com/go-getters-devo ) As a 3x Surrogate, Speaker, Soul-Care and Success Coach andHoly Spirit-led Strategist, I uplift the soul and success of women like you who are walking out your WHY, so you can birth your God-given dreams at home, online, and in the real world. Find me, @TiffanyJoBaker, on Instagram, Facebookand https://www.tiffanyjobaker.com. I would love to connect with you there!
Send a textPMDD Pyramid Private SessionsMe Before PMDD: Relationship Reset Toolkit-CouplesClick to Book a Private PMDD SessionFollow me on InstagramFollow me on TikTokEver feel like you've apologized, made peace, and then the same wound reopens weeks later? We explore why forgiveness slips through your fingers when PMDD hits, and how partners can respond in ways that quiet reactivity instead of fanning it. Drawing on hundreds of partner interviews and brain-based insights, we break down what actually happens in the luteal phase: the prefrontal cortex loses grip, the limbic system takes the wheel, and yesterday's hurt floods today's body. That shift explains why logic falls flat, why memories roar back, and why intimacy can stall even after a sincere sorry.We walk through the language that backfires and the scripts that help. Ditch minimizers like we've already talked about this or why can't you let it go and try anchors that restore safety: I know you chose forgiveness earlier, even if it feels far away; we don't have to solve this right now; let's circle back when we're clearer. You'll learn how to stop arguing facts with a brain that can't access them, and how to separate the person you love from the symptoms you're seeing. Simple reframes like this sounds like PMDD talking, this isn't the truth about you reduce shame and make reconnection possible.We also address the partner's side: the erosion of self-respect after repeated lines in the sand, the temptation to shut down, and the fixer reflex that often reads as pressure. Instead of pushing for a quick reset, practice presence, validate what feels intense, and pause permanent decisions during the luteal phase. Customization matters—each month brings different stressors and triggers—so we share a toolkit approach rather than one-size-fits-all rules. By trading courtroom energy for team energy, you can move from endless rehashing to steady repair, protect intimacy from emotional memory, and rebuild hope one calm choice at a time.If this resonates, subscribe, share with a partner who needs it, and leave a review to help others find these tools.
Pastor Mike will be speaking on The Characteristics of a Forgiving Person Part 1. He will be reading out of Philemon 1:1-7. I don't want you to think that somehow it's some deep mystical magical formula that is going to help you to be motivated to be a forgiving person if you Question why you […] The post The Characteristics of a Forgiving Person Part 1 first appeared on Hope Worth Having.
Sermon series finale on Exodus 34:6-7. God is FORGIVING & JUST.
Do you find yourself living in a marriage full of unspoken tension? You're polite and all, but there's no honest sharing or compassion? In this final program of the series, Chip shares a tool that walks you step-by-step, through a communication process that'll free you from the past, free you from the guilt, and free you from the history that's holding your relationship hostage.Three major reasons we have shame:A theological reason – we ALL have shame.Shame from things DONE to us.Shame of things that we DO.Three natural responses:To HIDE.To NUMB the pain.To COMPENSATE.John 21:1-19Principles:Jesus MEETS us where we are.Jesus gently DEMANDS that we face the truth about ourselves.Jesus AFFIRMS our value and our worthiness by commissioning us to service.Practical implications:You can't forgive your mate until you have RECEIVED both forgiveness and restoration. -Ephesians 4:32EXPERIENCE God's forgiveness and restoration.Freely GIVE what you have received.Tools for transformation:D – DEFINE the issue clearly.E – ENTER the pain and hurt.F – Ask for FORGIVENESS.U – UNDERSTAND the process.Phase 1: ForgivePhase 2: ForgivingPhase 3: ForgivenS – SET things right between you.Own your responsibilityConfess: “I was wrong.”Ask: “Will you forgive me?”Answer: “Yes, I forgive you.”E – ESTABLISH a specific game plan to move forward.Broadcast ResourceDownload MP3Message NotesAdditional Resource MentionsI Choose Love BookConnect888-333-6003WebsiteChip Ingram AppInstagramFacebookTwitterPartner With UsDonate Online888-333-6003
Do you find yourself living in a marriage full of unspoken tension? You're polite and all, but there's no honest sharing or compassion? In this final program of the series, Chip shares a tool that walks you step-by-step, through a communication process that'll free you from the past, free you from the guilt, and free you from the history that's holding your relationship hostage.Three major reasons we have shame:A theological reason – we ALL have shame.Shame from things DONE to us.Shame of things that we DO.Three natural responses:To HIDE.To NUMB the pain.To COMPENSATE.John 21:1-19Principles:Jesus MEETS us where we are.Jesus gently DEMANDS that we face the truth about ourselves.Jesus AFFIRMS our value and our worthiness by commissioning us to service.Practical implications:You can't forgive your mate until you have RECEIVED both forgiveness and restoration. -Ephesians 4:32EXPERIENCE God's forgiveness and restoration.Freely GIVE what you have received.Tools for transformation:D – DEFINE the issue clearly.E – ENTER the pain and hurt.F – Ask for FORGIVENESS.U – UNDERSTAND the process.Phase 1: ForgivePhase 2: ForgivingPhase 3: ForgivenS – SET things right between you.Own your responsibilityConfess: “I was wrong.”Ask: “Will you forgive me?”Answer: “Yes, I forgive you.”E – ESTABLISH a specific game plan to move forward.Broadcast ResourceDownload MP3Message NotesAdditional Resource MentionsI Choose Love BookConnect888-333-6003WebsiteChip Ingram AppInstagramFacebookTwitterPartner With UsDonate Online888-333-6003
When love isn't enough to hold a marriage together, what is? In this message, Chip shares what we all know about ourselves but are often unwilling to face or admit. The truth he brings has the power to shore up an unstable relationship, mend damaged souls that think there's no hope, and bring life back to a marriage that's been dead for years. If you think you're too far gone, Chip's going to tell you you're not. There really is a way to find the joy and peace you're longing for in your marriage.Three major reasons we have shame:A theological reason – we ALL have shame.Shame from things DONE to us.Shame of things that we DO.Three natural responses:To HIDE.To NUMB the pain.To COMPENSATE.John 21:1-19Principles:Jesus MEETS us where we are.Jesus gently DEMANDS that we face the truth about ourselves.Jesus AFFIRMS our value and our worthiness by commissioning us to service.Practical implications:You can't forgive your mate until you have RECEIVED both forgiveness and restoration. -Ephesians 4:32EXPERIENCE God's forgiveness and restoration.Freely GIVE what you have received.Tools for transformation:D – DEFINE the issue clearly.E – ENTER the pain and hurt.F – Ask for FORGIVENESS.U – UNDERSTAND the process.Phase 1: ForgivePhase 2: ForgivingPhase 3: ForgivenS – SET things right between you.Own your responsibilityConfess: “I was wrong.”Ask: “Will you forgive me?”Answer: “Yes, I forgive you.”E – ESTABLISH a specific game plan to move forward.Broadcast ResourceDownload MP3Message NotesAdditional Resource MentionsI Choose Love BookConnect888-333-6003WebsiteChip Ingram AppInstagramFacebookTwitterPartner With UsDonate Online888-333-6003
Does your past haunt you? Do you find it hard to forgive your spouse because, if the truth were known, you can't forgive yourself? Do you let him or her come only so close and then they hit the wall you've put up? Chip wants you to know there's a way to take a brick off that wall - and then another - and another. He wants you to know Jesus offers a solution to the guilt that's robbing you of a healthy marriage. You don't want to miss this one.Three major reasons we have shame:A theological reason – we ALL have shame.Shame from things DONE to us.Shame of things that we DO.Three natural responses:To HIDE.To NUMB the pain.To COMPENSATE.John 21:1-19Principles:Jesus MEETS us where we are.Jesus gently DEMANDS that we face the truth about ourselves.Jesus AFFIRMS our value and our worthiness by commissioning us to service.Practical implications:You can't forgive your mate until you have RECEIVED both forgiveness and restoration. -Ephesians 4:32EXPERIENCE God's forgiveness and restoration.Freely GIVE what you have received.Tools for transformation:D – DEFINE the issue clearly.E – ENTER the pain and hurt.F – Ask for FORGIVENESS.U – UNDERSTAND the process.Phase 1: ForgivePhase 2: ForgivingPhase 3: ForgivenS – SET things right between you.Own your responsibilityConfess: “I was wrong.”Ask: “Will you forgive me?”Answer: “Yes, I forgive you.”E – ESTABLISH a specific game plan to move forward.Broadcast ResourceDownload MP3Message NotesAdditional Resource MentionsI Choose Love BookConnect888-333-6003WebsiteChip Ingram AppInstagramFacebookTwitterPartner With UsDonate Online888-333-6003
Renowned motivational speaker and coach, Jess Wilson shares how she fought for years to get answers for her two severely unwell sons after being dismissed by doctors, until a Perth specialist ordered routine immune tests and diagnosed a rare genetic immune disease; the system later apologised and treatment began. She discusses medical gaslighting, intuition, forgiveness, and radical responsibility, and how the experience led her into nutrition, holistic health, and speaking focused on identity, discipline, micro-decisions, and higher standards for health, relationships, and generational wellbeing. Watch this empowering conversation on YouTube ✨Connect with Jess at www.jesswilson.com and connect with her on socials Instagram/LinkedIn/Other - Instagram @jesswilsonofficial ⏱️Timestamps: 00:00 Meet Jess Wilson: Energy, Health & Leading With Love 01:24 Jess's Roots in South Africa: A 'Hippie' Upbringing & Early Health Values 01:59 High Achiever to Burnout: The Cost of 'Go, Go, Go' 02:48 When Motherhood Turns Into a Medical Battle 05:44 Medical Gaslighting & the Breakthrough Diagnosis 07:22 What Was Wrong? The Symptoms No One Could Explain 09:45 Being Heard, Forgiving the System & Taking Responsibility 10:57 Radical Responsibility: Empowerment vs Blame 16:13 After the Diagnosis: Partnering Medicine + Holistic Support 20:41 A Second Chance at Life: Joy, Standards & Rebuilding Everything 22:47 Joy vs 'YOLO': Chocolate Cake, Cravings & Real Health Choices 24:10 Happiness vs Fulfillment: Dopamine, Serotonin & the Joy Hormone 27:18 Instant Gratification vs Long-Term Fulfillment (and Why It Compounds) 28:36 Micro Decisions & the Compounding Effect (Food, Energy, Standards) 30:08 The Alarm Clock Rule: Building Consistency with One Non‑Negotiable 31:00 Standards in Every Area: Laundry, Bills, and the Subconscious Worth Message 34:26 Routine as an Anchor + Boundaries That Support Relationships 35:53 Choosing Yourself: Leaving What's Not for You & Breaking Patterns 38:48 Believing in Bigger Love: Expanding What's Possible (and Ditching 'All Men Are Crap') 44:23 Pain, Shadow Work & Self‑Trust: Why You'll Walk Away When It's Wrong 46:20 Health Myths in Your 40s: Identity, Discipline, and 'I Just Don't Do That Anymore' 50:36 Raising Kids with Standards: Family Food Identity & Modeling Discipline 53:08 Generational Responsibility + Final Takeaways & Gratitude Wrap‑Up
In this Daily Shift, Celeste explores the difference between guilt and growth. Forgiving yourself doesn't mean excusing what happened or ignoring accountability — it means releasing the ongoing punishment while keeping the lesson. This episode is a reminder that reflection supports growth, but self-punishment doesn't. You're allowed to grow beyond who you used to be. Small shifts create big change.
Most people think forgiveness is about letting someone off the hook or being noble. But the word itself reveals something different when you break it apart. Forgiving has two pieces, and the first one has nothing to do with anyone else. This episode explores what you're actually giving when you forgive, especially when you direct it at yourself after a failure. The teacher might have written a terrible test, but staying stuck in that judgment traps you more than it punishes them. So what's the alternative?
Episode 1016 (14:38) In this episode: Dcn. Brett is preaching; Valentines Day; Romance goes only so far; Learning how to love; Forgiving and letting go; Example of his dog, Nova, who demands to be taken out in the middle of the night; God wants our hearts Music: "Choose Life" (Lyrics & music generated by AI: Chat GPT and Suno.com) Audio Produced on Logic Pro Music: Suno.com Related Web Sites: My Website Podcast PageAll Previous Episodes
Send a textPMDD Pyramid Private SessionsMe Before PMDD: Relationship Reset Toolkit-CouplesClick to Book a Private PMDD SessionFollow me on InstagramFollow me on TikTokEver feel like forgiveness resets every month, no matter how many talks or apologies you've had? We dig into why PMDD turns small misunderstandings into full-blown ruptures and why the same argument keeps resurfacing in luteal, even when things felt fine days ago. I break down what's actually happening in the brain—how the prefrontal cortex goes partially offline and the limbic system goes into overdrive—so you can stop blaming willpower and start using strategies that work.Together, we separate three kinds of forgiveness that often get tangled: decisional forgiveness (the choice to move forward even when feelings lag), emotional forgiveness (calming the limbic alarm so apologies can land), and self-forgiveness (releasing the heavy shame about how you showed up in PMDD). You'll learn why talk therapy can unintentionally amplify old hurts in luteal, how to name the “PMDD brain” in real time to slow reactivity, and what it takes to create relational safety after rage—without demanding impossible guarantees. I share simple, repeatable tools: pause-and-repair scripts, scheduled re-entry after a trigger, and narrative reframing that corrects all-or-nothing thinking and restores a balanced view of your partner.We also get practical about structure. I explain the PMDD Pyramid approach—first individual sessions for the PMDD partner, then for the non-PMDD partner, and finally a short, focused joint session—to prevent re-triggering and turn insight into a clear plan. We close with ways to “seal the loop” so your nervous system stops scanning for the same threat: tiny behavior changes, a checklist for sensitive tasks, and a living “receipt of good” list that offsets negativity bias when logic is dim. If you're tired of monthly breakups, apologies that don't land, and intimacy on pause, this conversation offers a calm map out of the cycle.If this helped, follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, and leave a quick review telling me the one tool you'll try this week.
Welcome to part two of our deathbed regrets series. Last week I covered the first four regrets—this week I'm finishing with the final six, and these might hit even harder because they're about living on autopilot, postponing joy, and holding grudges. Regret #5: Not choosing happiness. Happiness isn't something that happens to you—it's a daily decision. Regret #6: Not taking the risk. People don't regret what they tried and failed at—they regret what they never tried. Regret #7: Not prioritizing self-care. Not bubble baths—actual care. Meeting your needs, protecting your energy, honoring your body. Regret #8: Not taking the vacation. Both literally and metaphorically. People regret not traveling while they had their health, but this is also about not postponing joy. Regret #9: Not living in the present. Harvard research found we spend 47% of our waking hours thinking about something other than what we're doing—and it makes us less happy. Presence isn't passive, it's a practice. Regret #10: Not forgiving. Both others and yourself. Forgiveness research shows lower stress, better cardiovascular health, better sleep. You have enough history to know where your regret lies. Do you have enough courage to stop rehearsing it and start rewriting it?
From the covers of Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, and Elle, to founding one of the world's leading maternity and postpartum brands, Nicole Trunfio has redefined what it looks like to show up for women through motherhood with her groundbreaking company Bumpsuit. This week on the pod, we talk with Nic about her beautifully colourful, whirlwind life raising three kids, and the heart behind building a company that quite literally and emotionally wraps women during pregnancy, postpartum, and beyond. We dive into Bumpsuit's mission to support women in all seasons through Nic's products, her podcast, community gatherings, and the powerful resources she's helping make accessible for mums and women everywhere. We also get real about dropping balls, releasing perfection, and learning to forgive ourselves as mothers. Resource Links: bumpsuit.com Do Less by Kate Northrup Follow nic on IG: @nictrunfio Follow Bumpsuit on IG: @bumpsuit Follow Sarah Wright Olsen: IG: @swrightolsen Follow Teresa Palmer: IG: @teresapalmer FB: https://www.facebook.com/teresamarypalmer/ DISCOUNT CODES: • Go to www.baeo.com and get 20% when using the code MOTHERDAZE20 • Go to www.lovewell.earth and get 20% when using the code MOTHERDAZE20 More about the show! • Watch this episode on YouTube here • Co-founders of @yourzenmama yourzenmama.com • Read and buy our book! "The Zen Mama Guide To Finding Your Rhythm In Pregnancy, Birth, and Beyond" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Forgiving someone doesn't mean forgetting, pretending it's not a big deal, or going back to how things were, but it can bring freedom from the heavy weight of resentment and bitterness. In this episode of With You in the Weeds, Austin Conner tackles one of life's hardest commands: forgiving someone who has hurt you. Jesus' words from the Lord's Prayer: “forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us” sounds good, but it can feel impossible in the face of a painful offense. Just like an infected wound needs to be cleaned out in order to heal, forgiveness is the way our hurts can be purged so that real healing can begin. Austin explains what forgiveness is not: forgetting the offense, minimizing the hurt, or forcing the relationship back to “normal”. He then walks through a practical four-step process: Honestly assess and feel your hurt and then evaluate the type of person who has hurt you Ask the offender if they are willing to hear the impact their actions had on you Share the story and unload the pain with someone who can support your healing Clearly state your needs and boundaries for the future Keep in mind that forgiveness isn't our natural, human response to being hurt. In order to forgive, we will need to be empowered by God's grace and strength, as well as cultivate a deep trust that one day he will bring justice to all wrongs done to you. The result? Relief from bitterness, the ability to move forward, and a visible sign of God's kingdom breaking into everyday life. The process of forgiveness is much easier said than done, which is why we want to encourage and equip you to enter into a process of forgiveness that leads to freedom and hope, one step at a time. Want to learn more? Here are more resources on the topic of forgiveness: The Roots of Bitterness Managing the Weeds of Forgiveness Bold Love by Dan Allender When You've Been Wronged: Moving From Bitterness to Forgiveness by Pastor Erwin Lutzer Connect with us & Subscribe to our weekly newsletter! Website: withyouintheweeds.com Instagram: @withyouintheweeds Facebook: @withyouintheweeds X: withyou_weeds If you love listening to WYITW, would you please leave us a 5 star rating and a review? Your feedback helps us reach more people!
In this episode, Lesley breaks down self-love beyond surface-level self-care and explains why it's foundational to confidence, boundaries, resilience, and healthy relationships. She explores why self-love is often misunderstood, why it can feel so hard to practice, and how societal expectations shape the way women treat themselves. This conversation sets the foundation for a two-part series, with practical tools and practices coming in the next episode. If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:What self-love actually means beyond self-care and affirmations.How self-love differs from narcissism and self-interest.The importance of self-love in building confidence and resilience.How self-love strengthens confidence through self-commitment.The impact of societal pressure and past experiences on self-love.Episode References/Links:Episode 153: Tanya Dalton - https://beitpod.com/ep153Learning To Love Yourself by Gay Hendricks - https://a.co/d/9r14YqcEpisode 628: Frances Naudé - https://beitpod.com/ep628Episode 610: Amy Ledin - https://beitpod.com/ep610What Happened to You? by Oprah Winfrey & Bruce D. Perry - https://a.co/d/fNSEjJvSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00 So what the therapist and psychologists and brain people are saying is it is a foundation for a happy and fulfilled life. What I interpret that as we can't be it till we see it and just sort of like ourselves, like what I don't want you to do is not have that self-love that's like true self-love. Lesley Logan 0:20 Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. Lesley Logan 1:03 Hey, Be It babe, how are you? Oh my gosh. Okay, so we're doing a two episode series on self-love and a two episode series on burnout, and these kind of came out of doing this series on the habits. And, you know, we've had so many amazing guests on the pod, and it made me think of like they talk about how you have to love yourself, like, I can't even tell you how I probably should have looked it up. How many episodes we have had guests tell us, like, love yourself. Like, you have to have, like, love for yourself. And, like, it got me thinking, like, you know? And you're like, yeah, yeah. Like, you think you know what that means. And then you're like, wait, what does it mean? Like, what? What is self-love, you know? And is it important? And what if we don't do it? And how is it different than burnout, and how is it different than a habit, and how is it different than, like, all these other things. And so I kind of wanted to do just like, a whole episode on, like, what is self-love? Why do we struggle with it? Why do we need it? It's important, right? So we're going to just like, kind of dive in. And if you think I know it already, sure, you can skip this episode and go the next one, which is going to be the tools and the tips and the tricks and the mantras, but I hope we can have, like, a conversation. I mean, obviously you're not here, but like, you can talk in the car together, of like, what, what does this mean? And maybe you have different interpretations, right? Also, in the next episode, I'll share some of the ones that you guys have sent about that with here. I think you guys sent some for self-love and some that kind of go with burnout. And so I'm excited about it. Lesley Logan 2:20 Okay, so first of all, here is the dry like what the professionals psychology, things like that have to say. Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that involves prioritizing your physical, psychological and spiritual wellbeing with the same kindness and compassion you would offer a loved one, I would also say you'd offer anyone, because I see a lot of people offer strangers more of these things than they do themselves. It includes accepting yourself blahs and all setting healthy boundaries, practicing self-care and treating yourself with respect. This is not the same as narcissism, which involves excessive self-interest, but rather a fundamental regard of your own happiness and worth. And I think, like, if we could just, like, leave that right there. You know, like, there's so many things in that it's like, oh, that's what self, like, it's not the same as like, I mean, yes, there are some tools I'll share that like, about loving yourself, like I love myself, but like, actually, these are the ways you can be in self-love. You can be prioritizing your physical, psychological, spiritual well being with the same kindness and passion you would offer a loved one. Another way of saying this that I found on the line was be the adult you always needed to yourself. Tell yourself the words the younger version of you always needed to hear. And that might mean you have to go learn about, like, reparenting right there. And that would be like a therapist, right? So hopefully, like, if any of these things spark your interest, like you are working with a professional therapist of some kind in that way, but like, especially if it involves, like, the reparenting of yourself, and I think a lot of us have to go through that. And by the way, I know a lot of moms are listening, and including mine, like, it's not that you didn't do a great job. You did the best you could, some people, right? And also, there's still things that happen in our lives outside of what our parents did or didn't do that, like are part of what we brought up to ourselves as an adult. And there's stories that we tell ourselves, and those all affect how we treat ourselves, psychologically, physically, spiritually, right? Okay, so just to make sure we are saying things in the same way, same thing in different ways, so that if you have a different way of viewing these words, you get an education around self-love today, here's another thing. So this means self-love can include self-acceptance, so recognizing accepting both your strengths and your weakness without harsh self-criticism. And I think this is the hardest for me, so I'll just give anecdotes to each of these, because I think that at least I like that when people do it. So I think it's easy for us to accept the good parts about ourselves, but then we're really harsh about the not so great parts, and again, not that you like don't try to better what those are. But I think a lot of people who are attracted to the show because I do the same thing, like, we like attract alike is we are then constantly trying to better the things that we don't like about ourselves. Great. Do that, and also don't be harsh, right? There's a difference between a harsh self-criticism and an awareness of things that could be better, but still loving yourself despite of or in spite of that, right? Self-compassion. Self-love is self-compassion. Treating yourself with kindness, especially during difficult times. I definitely struggle with compassion for myself when I kind of do the thing I know I shouldn't have done at the time, and then, you know, you're like, I shouldn't procrastinate right now, and then you do and then, like, everything blows up in your face. I will go into a harsh criticism. I will have a lack of self-compassion. All of that affects the self-love. And when you don't love yourself, it makes it really difficult for you to show up as the highest version of yourself, that's for sure. And it also it makes it really hard for us to accept love and support from others. It's almost hard for us to receive compassion for other people, because we're not giving it to ourselves, and so we don't even recognize compassion when it comes from someone else, right? Self-care is self-love. Actively taking care of your physical, emotional, mental health through actions like eating well, exercising, gain enough rest, and engage in activities you enjoy. And by the way, when it's when I say, whenever you hear me say, eating well or healthy, I think you need to understand like fueling yourself appropriately, right? What allows you to have the best sleep of your life? What allows you to do the movement practice you like, what allows you to do the life you want to live? So there's no such thing as good or bad food or good or bad bodies, right? So, but what are the things that make you feel well? Are you eating foods that you know are going to make you feel like crap? For example, I love Kettle Corn. I really love Kettle Corn, and I can have a handful of Kettle Corn, no problem. But I can't stop with a handful of Kettle Corn most of the time. And so when I am kind of oftentimes being a little too in my head, being a little hard on myself, like having a stressful day, of course, I had to have more Kettle Corn, because why not just really make the already hard day I'm having even harder. And when I have half a bag of Kettle Corn, I feel like my stomach hurts. I have like my skin crawls, and I have the worst night's sleep, right? Well, in doing that, I am not giving myself the self-care that I need, because I'm now affecting tonight's sleep, which means I am not loving myself for the whole day and night, which is going to affect tomorrow, right? So getting enough rest is self-care. That is self-love. And I get really I in researching this, I was really excited, because I find myself, when I lead my retreats, or I lead some of these workshops that I do, like talking to people about, like, why it's so important that they go for a walk in the morning, if that's what they want to do, they want to walk in the morning. Why is it so important? Why is it so important they do Pilates? Because doing activities that help you sleep well, move well, be pain free, are all an act of self-love, and every time I see people not doing it in modernist oftentimes for others, what I'm seeing in the room is like a lack of self-love, and it's limiting how much you can love others. I'm just gonna say it, right? Lesley Logan 8:22 Okay. Boundary setting. So knowing your limits and saying no when necessary to protect your well being like setting boundaries and upholding those boundaries is self-love. We had a great episode about boundaries with Tanya Dalton. I still really love and recommend that episode. It's so, so good. And what I will say is I know that I come across as someone who is like the strictest of boundaries. I'm gonna tell you right now, I still feel bad when I have to uphold those boundaries, but I know I have to uphold the boundaries because I love myself so much. I know I cannot. I cannot go beyond my limits and still be the person I need to be tomorrow for all the people, right? I will let more people down tomorrow if I let go of my boundaries today, right? All right. Self-respect is self-love. Hvonoring your needs and not sacrificing your well being to please others. Self-respect is self-love. And I I think like we can all nod along and then go, ooh, am I respecting myself? And I will say, the older I get, the easier self-respect is for me to do. The younger I was, the harder it was, right? Because there's like, things that you're like, trying to prove, and you don't want to be liked, and there's all these different things. And so I would just say, like, you know, please explore self-respect with yourself, because if you don't have that, that's like your boundary setting, your self-care, your compassion, your acceptance, I think, is all going to fall under, like the actions you take to respect yourself and then positive self-talk, but consciously replacing negative self-talk with more positive and supportive affirmations. And by the way, if you listen to habit series, it's really hard to do. It's really hard to replace the negative self-talk with positive words, because you have to first, then be aware of the negative self-talk, and you have to, like, get quicker at catching it. So it might take you a whole day right now to catch yourself being an ass to yourself. And then as you are like, okay, I want to have a better, positive self-talk, self-respect, self-compassion, self-care. So that's acceptance, blah, blah, blah. So then maybe you take some of the tools that we're doing, and all of a sudden you realize, whoa, I caught myself talking negatively to myself in half a day. Well, most people are gonna get mad at themselves it took half a day. What you have to do is actually celebrate that it only took half a day, and it can get better. Then it's gonna take you three hours, and then it's gonna take you an hour, and this can take you 30 minutes, and take you three minutes, and it's gonna take you three seconds, that can take years. So give yourself the space and grace and have some positive self-talk and find ways to replace negative things, or maybe tell a friend, like, if you hear me talking about it myself, I need you to do something. Lesley Logan 10:43 In Cambodia, we have a lot of girls who are apologizing all the time. So as soon as anyone said, I'm sorry, we'd also scream, not helpful, not helpful. You know, and it was, it became something we laughed about. It was so funny, we actually realized, like, wow, a lot of times when I'm saying I'm sorry, I really mean, excuse me, right? And that's a better way to replace it. Okay, so why does this matter? Like, why is it important to have any self-love? So what the therapists and psychologists and brain people are saying is, it is a foundation for a happy and fulfilled life, right?Lesley Logan 11:14 So what I interpret that is we can't be it till we see it and just sort of like ourselves. Like, what I don't want you to do is not have that self-love, that's like true self-love, and then envision a woman who you think is going to be the thing you should be being it until you see and you go and be it till you see it, but she also doesn't love herself. Like, that'd mean you get all the destination, and you didn't, you didn't make sure it was like, you know what I mean? Like you just become more of something else, but you're not in love with yourself along the way. And so I definitely want to make sure that as you be it till you see it, part of that is loving yourself like how and maybe that's your work this year is like, I'm gonna be it till I see it in self-love, right? Maybe it's not just like a whole person. Maybe it's an area. Lesley Logan 11:57 Self-love increases self-confidence, self-worth and resilience. And I was like, oh, that's so of course, like, yes, I believe that confidence comes from keeping the commitments you said you would to yourself, okay? It's very easy for a lot of you to keep commitments to other people. So I was very specific, keeping the commitments to yourself that you said you would. That is where self-confidence comes from. But to do that, you have to have all these different areas of self-compassion, self-care, self-love, boundaries, right, self-respect. So when you have self-love, it increases your self-confidence, your self-worth and resilience. And I was like, yes, oh my gosh, that is such an easier way of getting towards having self-confidence, right? It's loving yourself. It leads to healthy relationships with others. You know, we often attract people who mirror a lot about how we feel about ourselves. And like, oh my God, isn't it so embarrassing to, like, look back at the boyfriends you have when you're younger? You're like, what were you thinking? But also, if you think about, like, wow, that's the amount of love I was willing to give myself from myself. So of course, that's what I was willing to accept from somebody else you know. And so if you are in some ways trying to be it till you see it in having a loving, wonderful relationship, I would definitely do some inventory and some self-reflection around what is going on with your self-love. And then another thing of why it's so important is a lack of self-love can contribute to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, depression and burnout. We're gonna have a series on burnout. So of course, this is going to have an overlap with that.Lesley Logan 13:23 But, you know, I have always said, like, burnout happens when, in the Pilates industry, it happens a lot when people are under-charging and over, you know, working and, yeah, they did that because they have a lack of self-love. Because if you had self-love, you would be charging your worth and keeping your boundaries. Right? Like, a lack of self-love can contribute to feeling of inadequacy. And so like, with all the people with self, imposter syndrome, and I know there's people saying imposter syndrome is, like, made up, but also, like, sure, maybe it is. And also, there's a ton of people who feel inadequate, have anxiety, which is basically fear, okay? Gay Hendricks, in his book says anxiety and fear are the same thing. And depression, well, of course, I mean, I think you can love yourself and still have a low day, so I'm not going to say you won't ever be depressed, but it is going to contribute to those feelings. And so I do wonder, like, if the more we have some self-respect, self-compassion, have positive self-talk, how that is going to improve our feelings of around us, like, does it actually mean that your imposter syndrome just becomes less and less and maybe you only feel it when you're brand new at something? I believe that's it. That's why self I think self-love is even more important than I thought when we started doing the series. Like, I was like, oh yeah, of course, we have to have self-love. Let's figure out how to help people do that. And then I'm like, oh my God, this is so the most important fucking thing we can all be doing. Lesley Logan 14:41 Okay. So what can self-love look like? So some of this stuff is going to sound redundant, but again, I'm saying it all because I think we need to hear the same things in different ways. So some of you might be like, oh, got it. I gotta work on my boundaries. I gotta work on my self-talk. Gone, done. You don't need any more. And some of us are like, okay, I need all these things. But what does it look like? And this is where I am always like, okay, tell me the how. I got it. I'm in. I love it all. I co-sign. Tell me how, right. I'm a how girl. So what does self-love mean to you, and what does it look like? So it can mean talking to and about yourself with love. So, like, one of the things you could do is like, notice this week how you talk about yourself. Are you talking about all the things you messed up when you tell a friend about how the day went? Are you talking about how you, like, did something really amazing, right? Talking to and about yourself with love. I walk around this house and I like, do different things, like, oh my God, wow, I just connected that to that I'm so amazing. Like, I get really pleased with myself when, like, I had to move my Reformer the other day without Brad and I took the carriage out, stood inside the frame, squatted down, like I was doing a little like deadlift, and then, like, move the frame and put the thing out. I'm like, so strong. I'm so glad I could be independent. Like that, that is an act of self love, that kind of talk, right? So you, these are, like, there's little things you can do that in every single day, little ways you can do that in every single day. Lesley Logan 16:01 Prioritizing yourself. That self-love looks like prioritizing yourself. Self-love looks like giving yourself a break from self-judgment. So maybe you start to notice you're judging yourself, and you're like, I gotta replace it with positive words. What if you just didn't? What if you just stopped just to go, okay, I'm gonna set a timer for 15 minutes and go do something else, think of something else, like, take a break from the judgment. Okay, maybe it means getting rid of mirrors for a bit. Or, you know, things like, if that, where in your life are you actually judging yourself the most? How can you like? Is there a way you can take a pause from that project? Is there a way that you can set yourself up for success? You're actually like, get like, you can actually give yourself a break from the self-judgment. Self-love can look like trusting yourself, trusting yourself. I think a lot of us get really excited about a decision we make, and then we ask other people how they feel about that, and then we change our decision based on others. And look, I change my decisions a lot based on input from others when I'm like working on a project with the team, whatever. But like, that's not what I'm talking about. Yes, if someone gives you better information, you should bring that in and but also, if you know that you need to sleep for seven hours, and other people are like, oh, I can't believe you only need to sleep for seven hours, trusting yourself is way better than going, hmm, I guess I'm wrong. Maybe. I mean, they said I should sleep for eight hours. If you know, what is it you need. Gotta trust yourself, right? Like, that's some of the best things you can do. I found, like, you know, Brad and I've been like, advocating for our health a lot lately. And one of the things I've noticed that when I talk to my doctors in a way that has I'm advocating myself. I have the paperwork to say, like, when I sleep this many hours a night, I feel like X, Y and Z in the morning. And when I sleep for this many hours a night, I feel like this. And when I do blah, blah, blah, I feel like this. When I do this, when I talk like that, they don't doubt me. They actually go, okay, so what I'm hearing is blank, and what that sounds like is when you do X, Y and Z. So because I'm trusting myself, I'm not going, you know, I mean, when I sleep this many hours, I feel the best when I sleep this many hours, I don't like, I'm not doubting myself, I'm trusting myself. And then, therefore, my doctor and I can work as a team together. And so what I'm saying is, like, oftentimes we don't give off that we trust ourselves. And so other people feel like, Oh, you're asking a question you want me to put in. You want me to like, I'm going to give you some suggestions. And then that doesn't help with the trust, right? Self-love looks like being true to yourself, being true to yourself. And, you know, that goes, that goes hand in hand with one thing we're gonna talk about in a second. So I'll tell that's right when I get to that one. But I just want to say, like, being true to yourself. So if you don't, if you don't know how to be true to yourself, I really need you to take some time. Frances Naudé's episode is around the same one dropping, and she talks a lot about how, like, you have to live at your highest self. And she has some tips on like, how do you be true to yourself? How do you trust yourself? Being nice to yourself is a way to look at self-love. So if you have self-love, you are nice to yourself. You're wondering what self-love looks like, be nice to yourself. What do you if you know you need to get up and go get a glass of water, go do that. That is being nice to yourself, that is listening to yourself, is trusting yourself, right? I used to like, okay, so when I was teaching Pilates, I would go to the bathroom between every single client. Now that I work at a desk most of the time, I have found myself falling into that ADHD thing where I just keep working until like, oh my God, like, I finally have earned the right to go to the bathroom. And someone like voted me and going, ADHD, ladies, you don't need to earn the right to go to the bathroom. Just go to the bathroom. Being nice to yourself is going to the bathroom. It's just like getting up, hitting pause, and that is self-love. That is self-love. Okay, so do you see how, like, all of a sudden, self love becomes so much easier? Yes, some of these things are harder to do, break, taking a break from self-judgment, especially if you've been doing it for your whole life. But you can also just simply be nice to yourself, and that could kick off the self-love ball and domino. Lesley Logan 20:00 All right, setting healthy boundaries. So, at the be true to yourself. One of the things I know about me is I do need time alone. And we had my in-laws came to visit. Was so much fun, but also, like with them here, it meant that I didn't have a lot of time by myself, and so I didn't talk to any of my friends or other family members during that time, not because I didn't want to, but because I knew that I needed the times I could have alone, I needed them alone. Being true to myself was making sure I had time as an introvert to recharge and refuel, and it meant I needed to keep my boundaries up and not give in to oh my God, I feel so bad. I haven't talked to that person. Of course I feel bad. I'm still gonna feel bad, but also I'm not. I can't feel bad and tired and shitty. So loving myself, being true to myself, understanding like, yes, it is. I'm sure some people think it's weird and annoying. I need to have so much time by myself, but I need to do that so I can be there for others, and setting healthy boundaries around that is important. We also, then had a friend who needed to use our guest bedroom 48 hours later. And of course I wanted to help go, yeah, stay as long as you want. No, we just had too many in our, we had two people in our house for 10 days. We have people coming to our house next week. I can't do that, so here's what I can do. And do you want to know something? They're okay with it. They're totally fine with it. They didn't go, oh, what a bitch, like, what a bitch. No, because they, too, have healthy boundaries because they love themselves. So self-love is setting healthy boundaries and keeping them. Lesley Logan 21:24 Forgiving yourself when you aren't being true or nice to yourself. So I love that this is like at the end, because it's like, oh my God, I, like, by time you hear all this, you'd be like, well, here's all the different ways I didn't love myself today. So, forgive yourself, and that is an act of self-love for you today, and you'll just do better the next time, right? So, and I think that this is a really good, like, maybe thing to write down or think about it, just remember that self-love isn't just about loving the easy parts of ourselves. It means loving every single part of ourselves. So even the inner critic, like, in fact, maybe the inner critic just needs to be loved a little bit, right? So, why is it so hard? Why is it so hard to love ourselves? I feel like, oh my God, it's actually just like Lesley just gave out so many different ways I could love myself and it should be so easy. Like, why is it so hard? So this is, well, the patriarchy, we're just gonna say. But seriously, women often struggle with self-love due to societal expectations to prioritize others. Perfectionism is another reason why we have a struggle with self-love and being bombarded with unrealistic beauty and life standards. So it is hard to love ourselves when every single time you look in the magazines and on TV and all this, you're being shown what the standard for beauty and being a wonderful woman is, and you feel like you aren't able to match and meet those so of course, it's hard. You won't. It's like, how you have to like, I mean, if the resiliency you have to have to like, see those people and go, I don't need to look like them, and I'm still amazing. That takes time. So if you are struggling with comparing yourself to what society says is what we're should be living up to, you are not alone. It takes a long time it and what I would say is, like, go back to the things that we did, and what is something easy you can do. Because as you start to build your self love muscle, becomes easier to not fall for the expectations of society, which, by the way, isn't going to be there for you, right? Even if you reach whatever they think the bar is, they're gonna move the bar anyways. So past negative experiences make it hard to love ourselves, right, such as criticism, trauma, feeling undervalued, these things can also deeply impact self-worth. Lesley Logan 23:22 So like, let's be real. Who, the stories that you got from people who were around you in your life at pivotal times, and the experiences you had, those things can affect you, especially if you had a family member or friend who told you you weren't beautiful, you weren't lovable, you weren't pretty. If you heard that and then something like, hey, I feel that, and I really do hope that you are not just doing self-reflection, but actively seeking someone who can help you, because you are so worthy of self-love, and as you've already learned, self-love is so important when it comes to all the other things you want to have in your life, it'd be really hard to have an amazing, wonderful partner who loves you if you don't love yourself, because it's gonna be hard for you to feel and believe that love is true. I'm not saying you can't attract it or that you don't have that. I'm saying like it's just going to be hard for you to believe that it's real and true. Right now I want you to have that, okay? Additionally, cultural conditioning can teach women to be quiet, put others first, and feel guilty for practicing self-care, making self-love seem selfish or out of reach. And I will say that this last part is really important to me. As a woman business owner who serves female mostly, and a few good men clients in our membership, it's online. Women will cancel the membership because of all the demands on them that they feel from others, and they have a hard time putting themselves first because they feel selfish or indulgent or that, you know, I just like, you know, I can't do all of it, so if that's why I do none of it, you know, or I'm only using five minutes at a time, so I should cancel this. The male members never do that. That's not why they quit. They quit because, like, oh, I'm taking three months off for. Surgery, that's when they quit. So I say that because, ladies, we have to take the perfectionism off the table. Love ourselves, be proud of the few minutes we do do and then prioritize those. It is essential. And if you didn't listen to the episode with Amy Ledin, the most recent one we had in December, go listen to that. She's a mom of five with cancer, and she's kicking ass, and she prioritizes her movement. And, you know, I'm not saying that you have to do everything like she does, but I want you to have an example of people can be busy, can have hard lives, and still can love themselves enough to put themselves first, right? Lesley Logan 25:35 All right. So the other things, obviously, we have societal, cultural pressures. So there's prioritizing others. Women are often socialized to be caregivers. Definitely have to be the caregivers. They're often because we are still paid less. They're often the ones that need to leave the workplace, if that's what's needed in a family, someone gets sick. We obviously know we have a lot of women who listen to the show, who are in the sandwich generation, and so it's really, it really does mean that you put other people first, and over time, that means maybe not loving yourself as much as you could be, and that is affecting other areas in your life and your belief in yourself and what you can do and what's possible. So I'm not saying don't take care of others. What I'm saying is you have to prioritize yourself first and then take care of others. Because truly, your ability to care for others isn't a Venn diagram of what you can actually do, and where I see a lot of people struggle with that, we'll talk more about it in burnout series when they give more, right? So love yourself enough. Prioritize yourself over others. Other reasons why it's really hard for us as women is unrealistic expectations. We talked about that with society, the standard of beauty, blah, blah, blah. Oh my God, the motherhood bull crap. Oh my, the Instagram on, on, you know, all this trad wife stuff like, if that's what you want, that's what you want, that's great. But ladies, you do not have to be that as a mom, you can be whatever you want, right? So what are these unrealistic expectations people are putting on us suck? So what are the expectations you want for yourself? I can be true to that. That's self-love, right? And then obviously society has this immense pressure for us to be perfect. The past experience, in personal history, in your childhood experience, so remember, that's the childhood experience you had. Those like early experience with caregivers and emotional neglect or inconsistent caregiving, that can lead to a belief that you're not inherently lovable, which makes it really hard to love yourself. So a great book to explore, this is, What Happened to You? I love this book is with Oprah and Dr. Bruce Perry, and I think it's a really great way to have empathy for yourself, but also empathy for others. So obviously, so many people experience trauma, especially as children, that can affect your ability to love yourself. There could have been a life event. You could have gone self-love all day long, and then a life event happened. And so one, be, have so much compassion for yourself. And then let's figure out where, where that happened, and what are these things that we talked about so far that could help you work on that self-love? Feeling undervalued. So you know, when we're underpaid or under supported, or we're not aware of our worth and demanding that because we don't have our boundaries up, we're gonna feel undervalued. That's going to affect our self-love, right? That's really hard. So, and then there's internalized beliefs, the shoulds the guilt or the need for external validation. So if you are someone who is needing external validation to love yourself, it is going to be hard, right? So we do have to figure out a way around that. That might be you have to do something within therapy to do that, because many women tie their worth to external achievements and validation they receive from others, rather than internal sense of self-acceptance. And so if you don't have an internal sense of self-acceptance. It's hard to have that self-compassion, and if you're always waiting for someone else to love you before you love yourself, it makes it really hard to receive that love, right? Lesley Logan 28:28 So okay, in the next episode, we're going to go around some tools for self-love. There's some great books that I want to give you. There's some mantras I want to give you, but what I'd love for you to do as your homework, as I would just love for you to like reflect upon this, maybe listen to it again. What were the things that stood out in the self-love that surprised you, or maybe good and you're like, oh, that's, that's where I'm struggling right now. I would love to know, I'd love for you to share it. You can share it via beitpod.com/questions. You can bring it as a you know, just share that. You can leave it in a review. You can comment on this video on YouTube or on our Instagram, because I would love to hear like what a part of self-love is easy for you, what part is a challenge for you. And by the way, my ADHD ladies, it is harder for us because internalized negative feedback. Women with ADHD may have a lifetime of being misunderstood or criticized for symptoms leading them to believe that they are inherently flawed, and so a lot of women with ADHD are diagnosed late, if at all, and so they're often like, there's like, oh my God, there's something wrong with me. I don't I don't fit in the way people do, and so they have a hard time with self-love. So hi, my ADHD ladies, this part, I wanted to make sure you knew it. It can be harder for us, right? Blaming oneself for failures like because there's a tendency to attribute failures to internal flaws and successes to luck, personal factors, which damages self-esteem, which makes it hard to have self-love. There's a hightened sensitivity to rejection. So women with ADHD are often more highly sensitive to feedback or rejection, leading them to interpret things more negatively. And personally, I see you, and that means it's harder to have self-compassion, right? So, and then also, women with ADHD, often go through a shame cycle. This sensitivity can lead to a cycle of shame and self-criticism, making it difficult to accept strengths or celebrate achievements, which is why we have a wins day. We win on Friday, like we have a wins day, win, W-I-N-S day on purpose, because I need that for me to keep having the self-love it because it's hard for me, like it's hard for me to go ever, like with the ADHD, with all that stuff, it's like, can be so hard to celebrate things until they're done. So I purposely have this in place so that there is a celebration of wins every single Friday for all of us, so that we can have, maybe we can get rid of that shame cycle just a little bit right, and have more ease and self-love. And then lastly, societal expectations. So on top of what we talked about, societal expectations on women in general, combined with undiagnosed or late diagnosed ADHD symptoms, can lead to feelings of measuring up and harsh self judgment. That harsh self-judgment, as we know, makes it hard to have self-love, self-compassion, kind words. Lesley Logan 30:55 You're all so amazing. I really hope that you guys are liking these little series. If there are other ones, you have topics you want us to bring up, or guest we want to bring in, please let us know. Right now, what part of the self-love comes easy for you, what part is hard, and then stay tuned to our next episode, where we'll go over some tools. Thanks so much until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 31:14 That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 31:57 It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 32:02 It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 32:06 Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 32:13 Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 32:16 Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Lately, I keep hearing the same take everywhere: multifamily is dead. Rents aren't growing, deals aren't penciling, and capital feels frozen. I understand why people feel that way — but that conclusion misses what's really happening. Multifamily isn't dead. We're in a market correction. In this episode, I break down what has actually changed in today's market and why this cycle feels so uncomfortable, especially for owner-operators. We talk about flat and declining rents, higher expenses, cautious investor capital, and why money flowing into high-yield savings accounts and money market funds has raised the bar for real estate investing. I also get honest about raising capital right now, why easy money disappearing exposed weak underwriting, and why this environment forces operators to actually operate. This is a market where discipline, conservative assumptions, strong reserves, and real systems matter more than ever. This episode isn't about fear or hype. It's about understanding market cycles, adapting to today's math, and deciding whether you're built to operate in a tougher, less forgiving environment. If multifamily feels harder than it used to — you're not wrong. But that doesn't mean it's broken. It just means the game has changed.