Redefining Parenthood Podcast

This episode of the Redefining Parenthood Podcast has been released to coincide with https://donorconceptionawarenessday.com/ (International Donor Conception Awareness Da)y (ICDAD), where this year the focus is on "talking, listening and learning". As part of this series I wanted to focus on the important perspective of Donor Conceived People (DCP). Social media can be a brilliant tool for opening up discussions, but can often become heated in rapid-fire comment threads, which is why I wanted to host a discussion with two donor conceived adults to bring to life through conversation "What DCP want parents to know".  I'm grateful to be joined by https://www.instagram.com/dcp_journey_2_rp/?igshid=NjY2NjE5MzQ= (Hayley @dcp_journey_2_rp) and https://www.instagram.com/donorconceivedaotearoa/?igshid=NjY2NjE5MzQ= (Emma @donorconceivedaoteroa )who in this episode share six things they believe would be helpful for recipient parents to know.  We cover lots within a short space of time, with some heavy topics discussed. Although some of these may lead to some discomfort in listening as a parent, my hope is that through being presented in this way, it will spark reflection and provoke thoughts. We talk about the perception of the 'angry' DCP, curiosity about genetic origins, being truthful and authentic with your child, embracing differences, being on the journey with our child and the importance of counselling.  In concluding this chat with a message to parents, both Emma and Hayley share a really important point in that "just by listening to this podcast you are already doing so much and benefiting your child". I hope you find this insightful and helpful at whatever stage of the journey you're at. 

In this episode, Becky chats with fellow DEIVF mum and author of Happy Together Children's Book, Julie Marie. We hear Julie's story and what led to her creating Happy Together, before delving deeper into our emotions and experiences of talking to our children about their conception. We also talk about our hopes and fears for the future, as well as the importance of listening, learning and growing as parents, including the many different perspectives that are shared from donor conceived people too.  Following their chat, Becky and Julianne (Perinatal Psychologist at Parenthood in Mind) pick up on why it's important to tell our children about how they came to be, as well as the emotions that are often experienced as we reach the stage where we are finally parenting and start to build and share our family narrative.  Finally, I share a snippet from my most special guest, my daughter Mila, as she brings this whole conversation to life in sharing with you the story of how she was made. My hope is that you will hear the beauty of honesty and openness in talking and telling, helping to make it seem a little less scary. She loved it too - I think she may follow in my footsteps as she's older! This is a really insightful episode that I hope will again leave you feeling validated, but also more confident and comfortable in sharing your own story, it's also a great one to share with loved ones who may question why it's important to talk about this topic or partners to open a conversation about how this might work for you. You can find Julie https://www.instagram.com/savlafaire/ (@)happytogetherchildrensbook on Instagram and you can view her range of childrens books here - https://www.happytogetherchildrensbook.com/ (https://www.happytogetherchildrensbook.com/) You can find Julianne https://www.instagram.com/parenthoodinmind/ (@parenthoodinmind) on Instagram or at http://www.parenthoodinmind.co.uk/ (www.parenthoodinmind.co.uk). Your host, Becky can be found at https://www.instagram.com/definingmum/ (@DefiningMum) on Instagram or through her blog http://www.definingmum.com/ (www.definingmum.com). Paths to Parenthub is designed for support and connection for donor conception where you can find out more at http://www.pathstoparenthub.com/ (www.pathstoparenthub.com) or follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub/ (@paths_to_parenthub). This podcast was supported by a grant provided by Ferring Pharmaceuticals.

In this episode Becky chats with Seetal at a point in time where she is still on her path to parenthood through donor conception. Knowing that there are many out there still on their journey, feeling even more isolated when donor conception isn't working in the way they'd expected, Becky wanted to give air-time not just to the success stories, but also to the reality of when things don't always go to plan. *Sensitive warning - talk of miscarriage* In this chat Becky and Seetal focus on the emotions she went through right from making the decision to try donor eggs, with the added hope and expectation, through to the devastation and feelings of failure she felt after she experienced loss following their first cycle of DEIVF. They also discuss another lesser talked about topic of donor conception and IVF within the South Asian community, particularly the added cultural challenges that are faced. Following their chat Becky and Julianne, Perinatal Psychologist at Parenthood in Mind, pick up on the emotional and psychological impact that experiences such as Seetal's can have, especially when they've already suffered grief and had to rebuild our hope before embarking on this path. This is an emotional episode to listen to but one I hope will help you feel less alone and validated in your feelings.   You can find Seetal https://www.instagram.com/savlafaire/ (@savlafaire) on Instagram although please be aware that since recording this episode Seetal has shared a wonderful but sensitive update and so, as Seetal says in her own words, protect your heart if you need to. You can find Julianne https://www.instagram.com/parenthoodinmind/ (@parenthoodinmind) on Instagram or at http://www.parenthoodinmind.co.uk/ (www.parenthoodinmind.co.uk). Your host, Becky can be found at https://www.instagram.com/definingmum/ (@DefiningMum) on Instagram or through her blog http://www.definingmum.com/ (www.definingmum.com). Paths to Parenthub is designed for support and connection for donor conception where you can find out more at http://www.pathstoparenthub.com/ (www.pathstoparenthub.com) or follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub/ (@paths_to_parenthub). This podcast was supported by a grant provided by Ferring Pharmaceuticals.

In this episode, Becky chats with Shaun, a dad to one-year-old twins conceived using donor sperm following a diagnosis of azoospermia. They focus on Shaun and Jenna's journey to conceive from the male perspective, such as how at the time he didn't realise his grief was presenting as anger and how it impacted his identity as a man. He shares how he started to process his feelings of grief and started to question whether he really needed to share genetics to be a father, leading him to where he is today - a proud dad who in his words is now a stronger version of himself as a result of his journey. This is such an eye-opening and emotive listen from the male perspective which I'm sure many men will relate to.  Following their chat Becky and Julianne, Perinatal Psychologist at Parenthood in Mind, pick up on the theme of how men and women can differ in their reactions to infertility as well as the hidden challenges that men can face in their role, which can often leave them feeling detached from the process itself.  This is a great episode to listen to for a rare insight into what may go through the mind of the male partner in this process and one to share with your partner if you're struggling to get them to open up, one which will hopefully help them feel less alone. You can find Shaun https://www.instagram.com/knackered_knackers/ (@knackered_knackers) on Instagram and his website  Shaun is also a connection and support group host for Becky's donor conception support platform Paths to Parenthub offering a chance for men and those going down the donor sperm route to connect. You can find Julianne https://www.instagram.com/parenthoodinmind/ (@parenthoodinmind) on Instagram or at her website Your host, Becky can be found at https://www.instagram.com/definingmum/ (@DefiningMum) on Instagram or through her blog . Paths to Parenthub is designed for support and connection for donor conception where you can find out more here or follow on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub/ (@paths_to_parenthub). This podcast was supported by a grant provided by Ferring Pharmaceuticals.

In this episode Becky chats with fellow donor egg mama, Camille Guaty, a US TV and Film Actress who is one of the first in Hollywood to openly speak about using an egg donor. They focus on Camille's fertility struggle, her journey towards using donor egg IVF to conceive and the shift in emotions surrounding this. It's emotional, honest and relatable with a focus on the difficult feelings of loss as well as the joy that this path has led to.  Becky then speaks with Julianne Boutaleb, Perinatal Psychologist at Parenthood in Mind to delve deeper into these feelings of loss and longing that can be a big part of the process in moving towards this path to parenthood.  You can find Camille on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/camilleguaty/ (@camilleguaty)  You can find Julianne Boutleb on Instagram @parenthoodinmind or on her website  You can find Becky on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/definingmum/ (@definingmum) and more about Paths to Parenthub https://www.instagram.com/paths_to_parenthub/ (@paths_to_parenthub. ) To find out more about how to join Paths to Parenthub and the support on offer visit the website, I would love to welcome you there.   This podcast was supported by a grant provided by Ferring Pharmaceuticals.

Hosted by Becky of DefiningMum, The Redefining Parenthood (RP) podcast focuses on family building when using a donor, featuring stories where a difficult trying to conceive journey has unexpectedly led them towards this path.  Through personal stories Becky will sharing relatable conversations, talking about hope and expectations, alongside feelings of shame, dealing with genetic loss, family resemblances, talking to others and importantly to our children about this lesser discussed family building story.  She'll be joined by guests who have become friends of mine, all at different stages of their journey, along with Julianne Boutaleb a Perinatal Psychologist from Parenthood in Mind and the pair will delve into a particular feeling, to help bring it out of the shadows and give it meaning.  My hope is that this podcast will provide comfort, give hope, offer insights, provoke thoughts and validate this very complex and emotional path to parenthood.