Podcasts about Shame

Sister, friend, we've got to celebrate all that you're accomplishing in eating disorder recovery. And one of those accomplishments? Maybe you're listening to today's show and starting to recognize this is a problem in your life. Celebrate that win. Your life has been measured around LESS. Less food, less weight, less energy. You're more successful by being less, running on less, weighing less, consuming less. But today, we're celebrating victories that have nothing to do with the scale. Host Lindsey Nichol shares 11 recovery wins to celebrate that measure MORE goodness in your life - not lack, not weighing less, not being less. Because girlfriend, you're gaining so much more than the weight you're terrified to gain. This process of recovery, of letting yourself BE (not letting yourself go, but surrendering to who you truly are inside) - that's what we're celebrating today. Stop measuring your worth by a number. Start celebrating these wins. The 11 Recovery Wins to Celebrate: Win #1: When You Eat MORE Celebrate: That snack. Adding nuts to your oatmeal. Adding something versus restricting. Truth: When you eat more, you think bigger. Your mind uses fuel to function. Action: Add one extra thing today - more protein, more than coffee for breakfast, something. Win #2: When You Challenge THAT Thought The thought: "You shouldn't have had that. Now you have to wait until dinner. You need to run an extra hour." Celebrate: When you sit that thought down and tell it to shut up. Truth: "Not today. I'm not running 45 minutes because I had carbs. I'm taking a walk and nourishing my body." Win #3: When You Face a Fear Food Not: Going from nothing to 50 donuts (that's not what we're doing). Celebrate: Integrating something that's been a struggle. Breaking a rigid rule. Examples: Having cashews at dinner when you only "allowed" almonds at breakfast. Two tablespoons of peanut butter instead of one. Action: Try something outside your normal rigid routine. Eat at a different time. Try a new snack. Get conscious with your eating. Win #4: When You Get Intuitive and Reflect Celebrate: Journaling. Getting present with your feelings. Truth: "Today sucks. I don't want to gain weight. I'm feeling heavy. I'm not sure I'm all in. I'm going to let these feelings in, sit with them, and move on." Remember: We cannot heal what we cannot feel. Win #5: When You Exercise for Enjoyment (Or Don't Exercise at All) Celebrate: Moving your body for FUN, not punishment. Examples: Taking a walk just to reflect. Going to yoga to try something new. Skipping exercise to REST. Truth: No one said you weren't allowed. Grant yourself permission. Win #6: When You Want STRENGTH Over Skinny The shift: Wanting to feel STRONGER versus wanting to be skinnier. Celebrate: When you're putting yourself first, nourishing your body, starting to believe in the process. Truth: You're going to feel liberated, clearer minded, STRONGER. That's winning. Win #7: When You Go Out to Dinner Without Anxiety Not overnight: You don't go from making excuses to avoid restaurants to enjoying dinner stress-free immediately. Celebrate: When you can be PRESENT in the moment. When you hear the nasty thoughts and say "Not for these 45 minutes." Win: Saying yes to events instead of isolating. Win #8: When You Get OFF the Scale The game changer: No longer allowing the scale to define your worthiness. Truth: Not looking at the number to define what you can eat today or what you have to restrict tomorrow. Celebrate: If you're not weighing yourself every second and you're starting to lay that down - that's MASSIVE. Win #9: When You Notice More Energy and Better Sleep Celebrate: Having more brain function. Getting clearer, more sound sleep. Truth: Your body's not running on SILENCE anymore. Things underneath are working properly because you're nourishing yourself. Notice: Different energy spikes after eating. Give yourself props for this. Win #10: When You Let Go of Shame and Guilt After Meals Celebrate: "I gave myself permission to eat something I normally don't eat. I'm on this pathway to recovery. I know I'm fearful, but I'm creating a healthier place for me." Action: Set down the shame. Ask yourself: "What do I need to do right now to not let this consume me?" Win: That's MASSIVE. Celebrate that victory. Win #11: When You Get SUPPORT and Commit The biggest win: Acknowledging you need help and support. Truth: You weren't meant to do this alone. You just weren't. Question: Wouldn't you want help from somebody who's been there? Wouldn't you want to fast-track the process instead of struggling longer? Key Takeaways: ✨ Your life has been measured by LESS - recovery is measured by MORE ✨ Eating disorders become a game - the more successful at restriction, the more achievement we feel ✨ We need to measure with a NEW measuring stick - small victories ✨ When you eat more, you think bigger - your mind needs fuel ✨ Challenge the thought - sit it down and tell it to shut up ✨ We cannot heal what we cannot feel - sit in the discomfort ✨ Want STRENGTH over SKINNY - that's the breaking point toward triumph ✨ Getting off the scale is where the game changes ✨ Recovery takes time - celebrate the small wins in the messy middle ✨ Every single thing against negative behaviors needs to be PRAISED Powerful Quotes: "Your life is measured around success of LACK. Your life is measured off of having less" "Eating disorders become a game - the more successful we are at restriction and manipulation, the more personal achievement we have" "We are not measuring lack. We are measuring the small wins creating more goodness in our life" "You are gaining so much more than weight that you're terrified to gain" "When you eat more, you think bigger" "We cannot heal what we cannot feel" "Celebrate wanting to feel STRONGER versus wanting to be skinnier" "Recovery takes time. Sometimes you live in this messy middle place where it feels hard, it feels mundane" "Your success is a series of small victories and small wins" "The first and greatest victory is to conquer you" - Plato "Today is your opportunity to create the tomorrow that you want" Why Celebrating Small Wins Matters: The Perfectionist Trap: Living in black and white thinking makes it hard to find wins because we measure against an unrealistic stick. But counting each win grants compassion and grace to create momentum. The Messy Middle: Recovery isn't linear. You slip backwards, move forwards, slip backwards again. You throw your hands up and wonder "Was I really that miserable before?" THIS is where measuring small victories matters most. The Scale Obsession: When you've been chained, obsessed, and addicted to taking personal worth inventory over the scale, it's hard to measure differently. But we MUST celebrate victories that have nothing to do with that number. The Truth: Every single thing you do against negative behaviors keeping you stuck is something that needs to be PRAISED. This creates the momentum you need to keep going. If You're Not There Yet: Listen: If you're thinking "I want to celebrate recovery wins but I'm not in recovery yet" - STOP. Celebrate THIS: You're listening to this podcast. You're not here by accident. You're not searching for the new craze diet. You're here because you know something is going on. You're tired of this struggle. Praise that. Hold that close to your heart. You were brought here for a reason. The reason? It has more to do than just experiencing freedom from food controlling your life. When you start finding your purpose because you have more brain capacity, because you're nourishing yourself, because you're finally LIVING - that's where life lives. That's where you're supposed to be. Ready to Stop Doing This Alone? You weren't meant to do recovery by yourself. Wouldn't you want help and support from somebody who's been there? Wouldn't you want to fast-track the process instead of struggling longer? Recovery Collective Group support program with accountability outside of yourself. Bi-weekly coaching calls, supportive community, and the focus and action you need to get from one place to the other. One-on-One Recovery Coaching Personalized support to help you celebrate these wins and create more of them. We literally walk over the bridge together - from where you are to where you want to be. Why it matters: Accountability is a MUST. Recovery coaching is an extra layer to your care team that's going to get you THRIVING. Learn more and apply at www.herbestself.co Connect with Lindsey Nichol: Website: www.herbestself.co Apply for Support: www.herbestself.co Facebook Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com  Instagram: @thelindseynichol Your Challenge: Pick ONE of these 11 wins and celebrate it today. Then come share it in the Her Best Self Facebook community. We want to celebrate WITH you. Remember: Simple, still moments bring the most peace, clarity, and confirmation for your success. Your success is a series of small victories and small wins. Share This Episode: Know someone who needs to celebrate recovery wins beyond the scale? Send them this episode. If this touched your heart today, please: Leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts Share on social media and tag @thelindseynichol Screenshot your favorite win and post it Join the Facebook community and celebrate your wins with us Remember, Friend: "The first and greatest victory is to conquer you." - Plato Start believing in YOU. Start believing this is possible for you. Look around and believe you're worthy of it - because you are. Celebrate your small wins that have absolutely nothing to do with the measurement of a scale. Subscribe & Review: If this episode resonated with you—please subscribe to Her Best Self wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review. Your reviews help other women who are tired of perfectionism and living trapped in their mind and body find this show and realize they're not alone. Share this episode with a friend who needs to hear the truth! About the Host Lindsey Nichol is a former competitive figure skater turned God-led entrepreneur, boy mom, and digital CEO. She understands how core beliefs formed in childhood can create and maintain eating disorder patterns, and she's passionate about helping women identify and transform these beliefs to find lasting freedom. If this episode helped you feel hopeful again and remember your worth isn't found in your body or on your plate, please share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps more women break the chains of limiting beliefs. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Andrew Lownie joins Joanna Coles with a bracing account of a royal family in complete public meltdown. Lownie, an author and British historian, lays out why Prince Andrew's downfall is no longer a contained scandal but a widening corruption crisis—one that now stretches from sex-trafficking allegations to financial misconduct, secret meetings with Bahrain, and the Queen and Prince Philip's decades-long blind spot for their “favorite” son. As King Charles battles cancer and Prince William quietly takes the reins, Joanna presses Lownie on whether Andrew will flee Britain, what Sarah Ferguson might reveal, and whether this is the most perilous moment for the monarchy since the abdication. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On today's episode, TikTok is fired up at The Viall Files after the show's heavy-handed take on Whitney Leavitt sparks a wave of backlash and accusations of mom-shaming. We break down what was said, why creators are pushing back, and how this story spiraled overnight. We also dive into the latest chapter of Justin Baldoni versus Blake Lively, as newly surfaced court documents reveal Baldoni's wife stepping in and going to bat for him, adding a dramatic new layer to an already tense public feud. All that plus your morning breakdown, context, and commentary — only on the Rush Hour Podcast. Sponsored by Masterclass. Masterclass.com/RushHour for up to 50% off! & Sponsored by Cash App https://click.cash.app/ui6m/o7zx0it6 Download Cash App Today:  #CashAppPod  Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if you stripped away every distraction —  your screens, your routines, and even your ability to see? What hidden thoughts would rise to the surface? What suppressed emotions would finally have room to move? And what would catch up to you that you have been running from, for potentially years. In this episode, I sit down with Scott Berman, the founder of Sky Cave Retreats, which is the first darkness retreat center in the United States. Scott has spent more than 70 days in total darkness and has guided over 600 people through this profound inner journey. And after doing a darkness retreat myself, I finally understand why SkyCaves is booked out for 3 years and has a 3000-person waitlist. Darkness itself is a threat to the nervous system. And Scott lets everyone know who signs up that their system will probably not react the way they anticipate. He shares that the only thing one needs to bring is HONESTY, and what happens to those who don't.  I share my experience during 4 nights and 3 days in pitch blackness and the profound breakthroughs that occurred when I stopped running from, escaping, and numbing my deepest, rawest feelings. This episode is for anyone curious about nervous system healing, the addiction to the stories that hijack our minds, or what becomes possible when you meet yourself with honesty, zero distractions, and the primordial pressure of the dark. Scott is a beautiful human who leaves us with this question before we enter the cave and turn off the lights: “What would nurture do in this moment?” The answer is usually what we should follow to create the safety in our system we are all searching for.    This episode is for all those who are afraid of the dark and those who are afraid of the parts of themselves that may be trapped in the darkest recesses of their subconscious. Luckily, Scott has the compassion, calm, and skills to hold our hand through it all.  Key Moments You'll Love ✨:

If you've ever felt like you're failing while trying your hardest, this conversation will feel like a breath of grace.Victoria Lydon welcomes Jennifer Renee Watson, author of You're Doing Better Than You Think. Together, they explore the realities of mental health, the tension of being both “a mess and a masterpiece,” and the ongoing journey of healing from trauma.Jennifer opens up about her experiences with depression, anxiety, and shame—and the freedom that comes when we choose to release shame instead of rehearsing it. The conversation highlights the healing power of community support, the importance of setting boundaries with toxic relationships, and practical tools for emotional wellness such as affirmations, gratitude, self-care, and mindful grounding.Ultimately, listeners are encouraged to embrace their struggles, honor their progress, and recognize their worth as they pursue healing and personal growth.You have permission to be both a mess and a masterpiece.Sometimes the bravest thing you do is simply getting out of bed.Shame can be released, not rehearsed.Community support is a lifeline for healing.Small, practical steps can build emotional wellness.Affirmations and gratitude shift your mindset and your mood.Walking away from toxic relationships is necessary for growth.Self-care is not indulgent—it's essential for mental health.Recognizing your worth is a journey, not a moment.Healing takes time, intention, and compassion.00:00 — Introduction to Jennifer Renee Watson02:21 — Embracing Imperfection and Authenticity03:43 — Introduction and Personal Struggles06:23 — The Journey to Authenticity09:26 — Finding Help and Healing12:04 — Understanding Shame and Anxiety14:47 — The Power of Community and Truth17:25 — Practical Steps for Mental Wellness19:08 — Daily Affirmations and Self-Care21:50 — Walking Away from Toxicity24:31 — The Importance of Mindfulness26:40 — Future Aspirations and Closing Thoughts35:47 — OutroConnect with Jenniferhttps://www.jenniferreneewatson.com/*Take a look at her book: You're Doing Better Than You Thinkhttps://amzn.to/48x7JhlCONNECT WITH VICTORIA:PODCAST WEBSITE: www.choose2thinkpodcast.comMINISTRY WEBSITE:⁠⁠ www.choose2think.coFACEBOOK:⁠⁠ www.facebook.com/groups/choose2think⁠⁠INSTAGRAM⁠⁠: www.instagram.com/victoriadwalkerlydon/EMAIL: choose2think@gmail.com ⁠⁠*BOOKS:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CHOOSE 2 THINK 365-DAY DEVOTIONAL⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠:⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://amzn.to/3Hcl7v1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CHOOSE 2 THINK JOURNAL⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: https://amzn.to/3Hcl7v1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pickleball Passion A Marriage Devotional: 21 Days to a Stronger Connection on and off the Court⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://amzn.to/48wnvaV⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠*When you click on these Amazon affiliate links, I may earn a teeny commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. Thank you for your support!DISCLAIMER: Choose 2 Think: A Christian Podcast on Neuroscience, Mindset, Thoughts, and Emotional Health is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Please consult your physician or doctor for all medical advice and counsel.Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/victoria-d-lydon/message⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SUPPORT CHOOSE 2 THINK MINISTRIES AND PODCAST HERE:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠PATREON: Patreon.com/Choose2Think

Podcast hosts will literally do anything instead of go to therapy. Like, have a superpowered doctor teleport them to their Shame Rooms™. CreditsBrendan Connors as Beck Wayward, Dr. Woofentweeter & VariousNick Connors as Donny Dennis & Various

Shame-based people react to anything you say that criticizes them or threatens to expose their weaknesses. They also do other dysfunctional things that range anywhere from codependency to addiction to abuse and more. Watch this video to get more understanding about why shame-based people do what they do and also learn how to respond to them.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/on69zPoFt-Y

In the next episode of Climbing the Walls, we meet Sari Solden — who was looking for answers. Why was she having memory issues? Why couldn't she get her life organized? Where did this feeling of deep shame come from?Sari's books have changed the lives of generations of women with ADHD. Her early research uncovered the truth that the disorder looks different in women.More on this story:ADHD symptoms in womenHow ADHD can affect your mental healthA history of ADHD medicationADHD and shameMeet the pioneers of research on ADHD in womenFor a transcript and more resources, visit Climbing the Walls on Understood.org. You can also email us at podcast@understood.org. Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Navarro joins executive producer Brian Teta to discuss landing a spot on the Trump White House Media 'Hall of Shame' and weighs in with her theory on what's really motivating the strikes on alleged Venezuelan drug boats. Then, she opens up about her brother Daniel's intellectual disability after Trump used a slur to describe Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz this week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Evan hands out his Week 14 Hot Mess Rankings, and for the first time considers an NBA team! Can anyone get through to Jaxson Dart and Abdul Carter? Jeff Saturday and Domonique Foxworth drop by to comment on this issue and which HC/QB they trust between the Bears and Packers. I'm Over It: Pat is sick of loud talkers and also Giannis! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Evan hands out his Week 14 Hot Mess Rankings, and for the first time considers an NBA team! Can anyone get through to Jaxson Dart and Abdul Carter? Jeff Saturday and Domonique Foxworth drop by to comment on this issue and which HC/QB they trust between the Bears and Packers. I'm Over It: Pat is sick of loud talkers and also Giannis! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"When resistance is coming up, it's just trying to show you something, and it's an area in your life that can be healed, that can stretch you, that can put you in a position and in an opportunity for you to step into what's next for you."  In this episode, Heather sits down with Tracy Matthews to dig into how we master resistance, find the courage to move toward our big visions, and cultivate a more profound sense of trust in ourselves and the universe. Whether it's navigating health issues, parenting children, or building a business, we all bump into those uncomfortable subconscious blocks and stories that keep us stuck. In this conversation, Heather and Tracy share their own experiences overcoming fear, resistance, and failures, along with powerful insights into what it takes to conquer them. What to listen for: ✨ Choosing yourself and "leaning in" to master resistance ✨ Why resistance is a moment to pause and question what it's doing for you ✨ How to dissolve resistance when it inevitably comes up "In the practice of just putting it out there and butting up against that resistance, you actually dissolve and dissipate the feeling because resistance is your body, mind, and subconscious trying to keep you from stepping into what's next for you or to a bigger capacity."  ✨ Putting yourself out there and facing the fear of rejection ✨ How to be your own cheerleader and move through resistance ✨ The identity shifts that come up when we lean in new directions "If you resist it, that's literally the next door you should probably open. And if you want to buy back so much of your time and energy, open the doors that you're absolutely terrified to open, because that's going to buy back so much of your energy." ✨ Navigating the hidden shame that comes with setting big goals ✨ The power of pivoting and "failing" when it's aligned ✨ Trusting that the universe will show you the way forward "Sometimes you just have to sit in that discomfort, in that resistance, in that space of not knowing, knowing that if you trust yourself enough, the answer is going to drop in." ✨ Understanding your intuitive 'yes' and 'no' when making decisions ✨ Using resentment to uncover your boundaries ✨ Why business is the biggest crash course in personal development About Tracy Matthews Tracy Matthews is a Creativity, Branding, and Reinvention Expert, a Best-Selling Author, and the Host of the Top-Rated Creatives Rule the World Podcast. As a serial entrepreneur, she's reinvented herself several times and built multiple 7+ figure businesses. She believes creativity is the biggest gift for navigating challenges, living a more fulfilled life, and having fun while creating wealth. Notable media placements include The Today Show, Entrepreneur, InStyle Magazine, and Elle. Through her podcast, blog, social media platforms, coaching, and programs, she inspires over 200,000 people weekly to launch, grow, and scale successful creative brands. You can find more information at TracyMatthews.com. She lives in Scottsdale, Arizona, with her partner Jason, his two daughters, and her doodle, Roxy. Connect with Tracy: Website: https://creativesruletheworld.com   Podcast: https://pod.link/1050430716  Book: https://desiredbrandeffect.com   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iamtracymatthews  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamtracymatthews  ******* For those of you who are ready to stop feeling drained, overextended, and out of alignment… join me for a one-on-one Time & Energy Audit, a focused session designed to help high-achieving women uncover what's draining them, clarify what truly matters, and create a simple plan that fits their life. We'll pinpoint your biggest time + energy leaks, identify the top areas to focus on for quick momentum, and map out exactly what to let go of so you can reclaim your energy, your time, and your joy. Ready to make your time work for you without adding more to your plate? Book your audit here: https://heatherchauvin.com/audit 

If you're a high-achieving woman who is great at every aspect of your business, but money still carries pressure, emotion, and a whole lot of avoidance, this episode is your permission slip to stop hiding.Today we welcome Rebecca Blankenship, owner of Snowdrop Bookkeeping Solutions, for a no-fluff Hot Takes conversation designed to move you from financial fear into confidence. We are tackling the outdated money myths and the costly avoidance strategies that are keeping your business small.Get Ready For Hot Takes On:Why we feel so much shame when asking financial questions (and why your discomfort is valid).The worst money advice you hear women entrepreneurs being given.The myth that needs to disappear already: Why you are absolutely a "numbers person."The biggest mistake small business owners make: not understanding cash flow (and how to fix it).Why over-functioning with your books keeps your profits smaller (and how to outsource it).The critical difference between bookkeeping (looking backward) and CFO work (looking forward).The most overrated and most underrated business investments.Episode Timestamps:00:03:00 – Why we feel so much shame when it comes to finances.00:05:00 – The worst money advice you hear women entrepreneurs being given.00:07:00 – The most common story women carry about money that holds them back.00:10:00 – The biggest mistake small business owners make: not understanding cash flow.00:16:00 – The most overrated business expense (and the hidden costs of easy buttons).00:18:00 – The most underrated business investment (it's not what you think).00:22:00 – Why bookkeeping is more than taxes, and the value of having your finger on the pulse of your business.00:26:00 – Bookkeeping vs. CFO work: Using data for a financial roadmap.00:30:00 – Rebecca's money lesson learned the hard way (investing in insecurity).00:31:00 – The final Hot Take: The distilled truth about women and money.About Rebecca Blankenship & Snowdrop Bookkeeping Solutions: Website: https://www.snowdropbookkeeping.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecca-blankenship/Let's Work Together:Book a 90-Minute Clarity CallToday's episode is brought to you by The Planner's Vault—your go-to resource for wedding pros who want to grow, connect, and thrive. If you're looking for expert education, a supportive community, and real-talk guidance to elevate your business, come join us inside The Vault. We'd love to have you!For Real on Social Media:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/forrealwithmegan/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ForRealPodcastHosted by Megan Gillikin, For Real is presented by The Planner's Vault, and is produced by Walk West. The Next Chapter VIP Experience: January 12, 2025 in Cary NC - https://www.megangillikin.com/2026-next-chapter-vip-experience

Evan hands out his Week 14 Hot Mess Rankings, and for the first time considers an NBA team! Can anyone get through to Jaxson Dart and Abdul Carter? Jeff Saturday and Domonique Foxworth drop by to comment on this issue and which HC/QB they trust between the Bears and Packers. I'm Over It: Pat is sick of loud talkers and also Giannis! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Evan hands out his Week 14 Hot Mess Rankings, and for the first time considers an NBA team! Can anyone get through to Jaxson Dart and Abdul Carter? Jeff Saturday and Domonique Foxworth drop by to comment on this issue and which HC/QB they trust between the Bears and Packers. I'm Over It: Pat is sick of loud talkers and also Giannis! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Evan hands out his Week 14 Hot Mess Rankings, and for the first time considers an NBA team! Can anyone get through to Jaxson Dart and Abdul Carter? Jeff Saturday and Domonique Foxworth drop by to comment on this issue and which HC/QB they trust between the Bears and Packers. I'm Over It: Pat is sick of loud talkers and also Giannis! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if the God who created the universe knows everything about you and still chooses to show up? Daron Earlewine launches the Season of Sermons with a powerful Christmas message about Emmanuel, God with us. WHAT YOU'LL DISCOVER: ⚡️The deeper meaning of Christmas beyond baby Jesus ⚡️Why Jesus intentionally went through Samaria to see one woman ⚡️The four foundational needs every human has ⚡️How shame keeps us from experiencing true connection ⚡️Why the Samaritan woman's story changes everything ⚡️What withness really means and why we all need it This is the first episode in a special holiday series featuring powerful sermons Daron has preached over the past couple of years. These messages are designed to encourage you, awaken you, and equip you to become who you were born to be this Christmas season and beyond. WORK WITH DARON: ⚡️FREE: Jumpstart to Purpose ➡️ https://rb.gy/4qpsgb ⚡️BOOK: The Death of a Dream ➡️ https://rb.gy/a9ifwi ⚡️COACHING: Register ➡️ https://rb.gy/0is05k

If Thanksgiving brought up guilt, shame, overeating, or disappointment — this episode is for you. Today we're walking through The Examen, a powerful Christian spiritual practice rooted in Psalm 139 that helps you reflect with God, receive loving correction, and keep growing in food freedom without condemnation. These holidays are not a pass/fail test. They're practice. We're not practicing for perfection… We're practicing so the healing becomes permanent. In this episode, Abbie guides you through: ✨ Why holidays give us data, not failure ✨ How to root yourself in God's love before you reflect ✨ Questions to ask the Lord about what went well ✨ How to gently identify opportunities for growth ✨ How to approach food + holidays without guilt ✨ A step-by-step way to practice The Examen this week Whether your Thanksgiving felt like a win or a setback, God wants to walk with you through it and order your steps forward with peace, not shame. Resources & Next Steps:

You Don't Earn Being a Good Man: Reclaiming the Identity You Were Born With Authentic Men's Group (AMG) Podcast Blog Every man wonders quietly, "Am I actually a good man?" Most men won't say it out loud—but the question sits underneath their decisions, their relationships, their mistakes, and the way they carry themselves through life. For many, goodness feels fragile… like one wrong move can erase everything. Like your identity is something you perform into rather than something true about you. Most of us grew up earning approval, not building identity. This episode is about reclaiming the deeper truth already in you. It's about remembering something you were born with—not something you have to earn, prove, or achieve. The Good Man Statue: The Identity Beneath the Dirt Every man carries a statue inside him—the Good Man Statue. It's who he was long before he learned to toughen up, hide emotions, pretend he didn't need help, or perform to be accepted. It's the part of him that's strong, grounded, steady, and whole. It's the part that wants to love well, lead well, and live with integrity. But life has a way of throwing dirt on that statue. A mistake at 17 A failure at 25 A moment in marriage where you hurt someone you love Childhood messages that taught you you're only good when you behave Shame that stuck before you even understood the word Little by little, the statue gets covered. And at some point, you stop seeing it at all. You start believing the dirt is you. You start thinking, "Maybe I'm just not a good man." That's the lie almost every man in AMG has carried at some point. But here's the truth most men never hear: The dirt never replaces the statue—it only hides it. Your goodness doesn't disappear when you mess up. It doesn't get revoked when you fall short. It doesn't crumble when someone is disappointed in you. The Good Man Statue is still there, carved into the core of who you are. When a man believes he's broken or bad, he behaves like a man trying to outrun shame. When he remembers the statue underneath, he moves with presence and strength again. The work isn't becoming good. The work is brushing off the dirt. Every honest conversation… Every moment of accountability… Every time you say the hard thing out loud… Every moment another man says, "You're not alone"… Every time you offer yourself compassion instead of punishment… It clears a little more dirt. That's why AMG exists. Identity gets restored in circles—not isolation. And once a man sees the statue again, even for a moment, he shows up differently: For himself. For his partner. For his kids. For his community. He leads from identity—not insecurity. This is the identity work every man is hungry for: "I don't earn goodness. I remember it." SECTION 1 — What "Being a Good Man" Brings Up for Most Men For many men, the phrase "being a good man" triggers: Pressure — like being graded or silently measured Fear of messing up and losing your identity Feeling good only when you're achieving or productive Old messages: "Don't disappoint anyone" Shame that rewrites your story in seconds Humor that's not really humor: "If being a good man was a class, I'd be repeating it." Memories of trying to perform your way into worthiness Most men have learned to tie goodness to behavior—not identity. Which is why the Good Man Statue metaphor hits so deeply. SECTION 2 — Why Men Don't Believe They're Good Men Most men don't struggle with behavior as much as they struggle with identity. Here's why: 1. Childhood Scripts Be good. Be strong. Don't mess up. Approval was tied to obedience, not authenticity. Goodness felt conditional from day one. 2. Shame From Old Mistakes Men carry mistakes like permanent labels. Shame doesn't stick to behavior—it sticks to identity. 3. Performance-Based Worth Men are taught: "I am what I produce." Which means when performance drops, identity collapses. 4. Lack of Affirmation Most men have never heard: "You're solid. I see the good in you." Without strong mirrors, insecurity grows. 5. Comparison & Internal Criticism "You're behind." "You should be further along by now." Comparison erodes identity faster than failure. 6. Isolation Men rarely have spaces to be honest. Silence becomes the loudest critic. In every AMG group, men eventually say the same thing: "I thought I was the only one who felt this." Insight Men often lose identity faster than they lose self-control. Most issues aren't about discipline—they're about worth. Who Gets to Decide If You're a Good Man? This question sits at the center of most men's inner battles: "Who gets to decide if I'm a good man?" Most men assume the verdict belongs to: Their partner Their dad Their boss Their pastor Their ex Their mistakes Their success or failure When others hold the measuring stick, identity becomes unstable. You live reactive, defensive, and afraid of being "found out." **Here's the truth: No one else gets to declare whether you are a good man.** Others can reflect your goodness— But they can't define it. If your identity depends on external approval, it becomes rented, not rooted. And rented identity collapses the moment someone is disappointed in you. Grounded men don't outsource their identity. Healthy identity sounds like this: I listen to feedback. I take responsibility when I cause harm. I repair where needed. But I don't hand someone else the authority to define who I am. There's a difference between: Accountability: "I can own where I messed up." Identity: "My mistake is who I am." Other people's disappointment is not the authority on your goodness. Your goodness is already built into the Good Man Statue—solid and unshakeable. When a man reclaims his identity: Defensiveness softens Presence increases Integrity strengthens Courage grows Relationships feel safer Leadership becomes more grounded He stops trying to prove goodness and starts embodying it. The Final Truth: You Decide You decide if you are a good man. Not by earning it. But by returning to what's already true. Goodness isn't a vote. It's not a scoreboard. It's not something that can be taken away. Goodness is a state of being — a statue you were born with. Your work is simply to uncover what's already there. And that's the work we do, together, in AMG.

Shame. Boundaries. Consistency. Healing. This episode breaks down the moment that pushed me back into alignment — and the lessons reminding us why waiting for “ideal conditions” keeps us stuck. If you're rebuilding confidence or reclaiming peace, this one's for you.

We don't consider shame to be a gift from God but we see the consequence of a lack of shame resulting in indifference, and even rebellion. Although the Holy Spirit to tenderize your heart as you listen to today's message.

Wyatt's descent into the dark masquerade begins when a powerful spirit disguises itself as Jesus and pulls him into a ritual that opens his life to sleep-paralysis abductions, sexual manipulation, and years of demonic illusions so convincing he truly believed he was serving Christ. This counterfeit “Jesus” takes him into churches in the spirit, seduces him with twisted intimacy, and uses psychosis like a joystick to drive him deeper into destruction. The deception grows all while the antichrist entity that claims it is Yahweh, convinces Wyatt he is its chosen vessel, and lures him toward a horrific plan involving Nephilim-level corruption. But everything shatters on his daughter's birthday when Wyatt collapses in a field and the real Jesus Christ tears every demon out of him in an instant. Shame turns into sonship as God lifts his face and calls him His own. Now Wyatt walks in the truth, exposing the masquerade that almost destroyed him and pointing others to the Christ who saved him. Please pray for Tony's wife, Lindsay, as she battles breast cancer. Your prayers make a difference! If you're able, consider helping the Merkel family with medical expenses by donating to Lindsay's GoFundMe: https://gofund.me/b8f76890 Become a member for ad-free listening, extra shows, and exclusive access to our social media app: theconfessionalspodcast.com/join The Confessionals Social Network App: Apple Store: https://apple.co/3UxhPrh Google Play: https://bit.ly/43mk8kZ The Counter Series Available NOW: The Counter (YouTube): WATCH HERE The Counter (Full Episode): WATCH HERE Tony's Recommended Reads: slingshotlibrary.com If you want to learn about Jesus and what it means to be saved: Click Here Bigfoot: The Journey To Belief: Stream Here The Meadow Project: Stream Here Merkel Media Apparel: merkmerch.com My New YouTube Channel Merkel IRL: @merkelIRL My First Sermon: Unseen Battles SPONSORS SIMPLISAFE TODAY: simplisafe.com/confessionals GHOSTBED: GhostBed.com/tony CONNECT WITH US Website: www.theconfessionalspodcast.com Email: contact@theconfessionalspodcast.com Wyatt Coats YouTube | TikTok | Instagram Email: wyattcoats7@gmail.com MAILING ADDRESS: Merkel Media 257 N. Calderwood St., #301 Alcoa, TN 37701 SOCIAL MEDIA Subscribe to our YouTube: https://bit.ly/2TlREaI Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/theconfessionals/ Discord: https://discord.gg/KDn4D2uw7h Show Instagram: theconfessionalspodcast Tony's Instagram: tonymerkelofficial Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheConfessionalsPodcas Twitter: @TConfessionals Tony's Twitter: @tony_merkel Produced by: @jack_theproducer OUTRO MUSIC Joel Thomas - Joel's Psalm YouTube | Apple Music | Spotify

Send us a textWhat happens when the picture-perfect life hides a private hell? In this episode of the Sober Friends Podcast, Matt J sits down with Emily Redondo, author of Wife Mother Drunk: An Intergenerational Memoir of Loss and Love. Emily takes us inside her raw and unfiltered journey through addiction, motherhood, and the generational trauma that shaped her story.From pumping and dumping breast milk in rehab to uncovering family secrets that spanned decades, Emily shares what it's like to live two lives—one for the world and one in the shadows. We talk about the shame that keeps us silent, the lies we tell ourselves, and the courage it takes to break free.If you've ever wondered what recovery looks like when everything feels impossible, this conversation will hit home. Emily's story is messy, real, and full of hope.Listen now for a brutally honest look at addiction, resilience, and why telling the truth might be the most radical act of all.Click here for Emily's book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and from Emily's website.Support the show

Ever notice how some kids just cannot talk about hard things- especially if it's about their own mistakes or ‘bad' behavior? Maybe they melt down the second you bring it up… or shut down completely.Let's unpack what's really going on when kids refuse to talk about mistakes or anything that feels “bad.” You'll learn why their brain might be protecting them from feelings that are just too much - and how you can gently help them build the capacity to feel bad and still be okay.In this episode, you'll learn:Why refusing to talk about hard things isn't defiance—it's protectionWhat's happening in the brain when a child remembers something painful or shame-filledHow to scaffold conversations about mistakes using stories, characters, and your own modelingThe difference between avoiding hard conversations from connection mode versus protection modeResources mentioned in this podcast:Resources included in the blog summary go hereRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutmistakesThe Club is welcoming new members now until Friday!Head to RobynGobbel.com/TheClub for details and to join us!::: :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute's (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Guilt, shame, and fear around academic writing show up far more often than we admit. And for many academics, those emotions become so intertwined with our identity that even seeing the phrase "making time to write" can trigger a full-body "Nope!"  I was reminded of this last week during the National Women's Studies Association conference in Puerto Rico. The conference was beautifully integrated with local scholars, activists, and artists, creating a powerful space for community and reflection.  What surprised me most, though, was the range of reactions people had when they walked by our booth and saw my book. Some people laughed; some avoided eye contact and literally walked (or ran!) away; others said, "You're making me feel so bad." That emotional recoil is exactly why today's episode exists. This week, I'm diving deep into what guilt, shame, and overwhelm around writing really reveal—not about you as an individual, but about the sociocultural and institutional contexts you're working within. If you've internalized the idea that your inconsistent writing practice is a personal flaw, this discussion will help you understand why that narrative is wrong, and how to reclaim the sense of agency you absolutely do have. If you've ever thought, "I should be writing," and immediately felt terrible, this one's for you. Tune in, and let's talk about what's really holding back your academic writing and how to move through it. For full show notes visit scholarsvoice.org/podcast. We're receiving applications for our next cohort of Navigate: Your Writing Roadmap®. Check out the program details and start your application process here.   CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION: Our 12-week Navigate: Your Writing Roadmap® program helps tenure-track womxn and nonbinary professors to publish their backlog of papers so that their voice can have the impact they know is possible. Apply here! Cathy's book, Making Time to Write: How to Resist the Patriarchy and Take Control of Your Academic Career Through Writing is available in print! Learn how to build your career around your writing practice while shattering the myths of writing every day, accountability, and motivation, doing mindset work that's going to reshape your writing,and changing academic culture one womxn and nonbinary professor at a time. Get your print copy today or order it for a friend here! If you would like to hear more from Cathy for free, please subscribe to the weekly newsletter, In the Pipeline, at scholarsvoice.org. It's a newsletter that she personally writes that goes out once a week with writing and publication tips, strategies, inspiration, book reviews and more.   CONNECT WITH ME:  LinkedIn Facebook YouTube  

In this mind-bending, heart-opening conversation, Harmony and Russell welcome back author, former Benedictine monk, financial advisor, and Enneagram educator Doug Lynam. What begins as a discussion about money and spirituality quickly expands into psychedelics, ego structures, ancient Christian history, mystical experiences, and why our deepest personal wounds shape both our financial lives and our spiritual paths. Doug unpacks how his monastic vows, his monastery's bankruptcy, and years of guiding others through financial distress led him to explore the emotional and psychological roots of money. He explains why money acts as “stored energy,” why it absorbs our intention, and why integrating spirituality with finance is essential for living a whole, aligned life. From there, the episode rolls into the psychedelic origins of the Enneagram, how different types experience altered states, and why Doug believes psychedelic journeys can reveal the deepest architecture of the ego. Harmony and Russell share their own recent experiences with 5-MeO-DMT, exploring consciousness, connection, lineage healing, and the dissolution of the self. This is one of the most surprising, expansive, and spiritually charged conversations ever recorded for the Finding Harmony podcast. In this episode: Setting the Stage: Who Is Doug Lynam Today? Harmony introduces Doug as a “monk, a money manager, and a mystic” wrapped into one. Doug's backstory: 20 years as a Benedictine monk, vow of poverty, monastery bankruptcy. How reconciling money and spirituality became his life's work. Money as Spiritual Energy Doug reframes money as “stored work energy.” Why separating spirituality and money leads to fragmentation. Russell shares his discomfort about mixing spirituality and money, prompting a rich dialogue about cultural conditioning and internal conflict. Psychedelics in Early Christianity Doug shares research from The Immortality Key. Evidence of psychedelic sacraments in early Christian rituals. Greek, Roman, and pagan traditions that shaped early Christianity. Understanding the Enneagram from a Psychological Lens Doug explains the Enneagram as nine ego-structures shaped by childhood stressors. The three emotional roots: anger, sadness, fear. Russell identifies strongly with Type Nine. How the Enneagram predicts emotional triggers and core wounds. Psychedelics and the Enneagram Doug's theory: psychedelic experiences mirror your type's greatest fear and greatest hope. Anger-triad types often benefit from dissociatives like ketamine. Shame-triad types often benefit from MDMA. Fear-triad types often resonate with psilocybin or LSD. The Untold Psychedelic History of the Enneagram The Enneagram's modern lineage through Oscar Ichazo and Claudio Naranjo. Naranjo's psychedelic clinic and collaborations with Alexander Shulgin. How psychedelic history was stripped out when the Enneagram entered Christian communities. Five-MeO-DMT, Ego Dissolution, and the Mystical Experience Doug outlines safe, trauma-informed approaches to 5-MeO facilitation. Why slow, intentional dosing may be safer than single “breakthrough” hits. How the Enneagram enriches psychedelic integration. Harmony and Russell share their own recent journeys, including lineage healing and somatic release. Trauma, Healing, and Union with the Divine Doug shares his own intense 5-MeO experience involving collective suffering and infinite love. Philosophical reflections on consciousness, non-duality, pain, and interconnectedness. A powerful closing on how expanded states reveal the architecture of the ego and the nature of reality. Guest Bio: Doug Lynam Doug Lynam is a former Benedictine monk turned financial advisor, author, and expert on the intersection of money, psychology, and spirituality. After spending two decades in monastic life, Doug unexpectedly became responsible for navigating his monastery through bankruptcy. This launched his mission to help others heal their relationship with money. He's a partner at a New Mexico investment firm, an Enneagram specialist, and the author of From Monk to Money Manager and Taming Your Money Monster. Doug also integrates his deep interest in psychedelics, consciousness, and emotional transformation into his work. Relevant Links Taming Your Money Monster by Doug Lynam: https://www.thomasnelson.com/p/taming-your-money-monster/ Clarity Session with Harmony: https://harmonyslater.as.me/Clarity-Session Call to Action If this episode stretched your mind, cracked open your heart, or made you rethink your relationship with money and spirituality, share it with someone who loves exploring consciousness. And make sure to subscribe so you don't miss future episodes where we keep expanding what's possible. Upcoming events: https://harmonyslater.com/events 21 Day Money Magic Manifestation Challenge: https://community-harmonyslater.com/landing/plans/1542444Use PROMO CODE for additional $20 Savings: MANIFESTATIONMAGIC  FREE Manifestation Activation: https://harmonyslater.kit.com/manifestation-activation FIND Harmony: https://harmonyslater.com/ JOIN the Finding Harmony Community: https://community-harmonyslater.com/ Harmony on IG: https://www.instagram.com/harmonyslaterofficial/ Finding Harmony Podcast on IG: https://www.instagram.com/findingharmonypodcast/ FREE 2 min breathwork practice: https://harmonyslater.com/morning-breathwork-optin Find your Spiritual Entrepreneur Archetype! Take the Quiz! https://harmonyslater.com/spiritual-entrepreneur-archetype-quiz BOOK Your Spinal Energetics Session: https://harmonyslater.as.me/

In this episode, Rob shares how childhood sexual abuse shaped his identity through shame, silence, and confusion — and how God has been restoring what was stolen. We talk about trauma bonds, why survivors often mislabel their experiences, and how healing begins when we separate what happened to us from who God created us to be. If this conversation resonates with your story, Trees of Hope is here to walk with you. Learn more at treesofhope.org.

Therapist and ministry leader Zach Ellis spends his days walking with men tangled up in porn, shame, and unwanted sexual behavior. In this episode, Zach and Rebecca talk about lust as both sin and sign, how trauma fractures us, and why the opposite of addiction isn't willpower but connection—being truly known by God and his people. If you've ever wondered whether your sexual history puts you beyond repair, this episode is a gentle but honest invitation to bring your story into the light of Christ.Follow Zach:Mosaic Counseling Center - Boston Area Christian counseling for problematic sexual behaviorThe Nathan Project - New England region ministry offering group-based recovery from sexual addiction and betrayal trauma Pure Desire Ministries- National ministry offering in-person and online recovery groups, podcast and more423 Next - National ministry offering online support groups for youth struggling with problematic sexual behaviorSign up for weekly emails at RebeccaMcLaughlin.org/SubscribeFollow Us on Instagram and XProduced by ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Good Podcast Co.⁠⁠⁠⁠

Before your child has the chance to understand who they truly are, the world is already telling them what they are. Jake Wood knows this firsthand, and his story turns our whole conversation about teen drug addiction upside down.In one of the favorite interviews I've ever done, I sit down with transformation guide Jake Wood to explore a perspective on teen drug addiction that most parents never hear: one rooted not in pathology, shame, or “fixing,” but in soul, story, and deep humanity.“Shame has always been my monster” - Jake WoodJake shares his extraordinary journey from “System Jake,” shaped by rigid rules, labels, and misdiagnoses, to “Soul Jake,” the version of himself that emerged after surviving an aggressive cancer diagnosis, and a complete identity unraveling. His insight into labels like addict, bipolar, or behavioral problem will challenge the way you see your struggling teen, and maybe even yourself.You'll hear how addiction often begins as a coping strategy, not a character flaw, why shame disconnects kids from their true selves, and how parents can shift from fear-based reactions to compassion, presence, and genuine connection.Have a listen to hear what Jake has to say about supporting your struggling teen or young adult without getting lost in labels!In this episode on teen drug addiction, we discuss:Why labels like “addict” can sometimes do more harm than good;How shame disconnects teens from themselves and others;Jake's life-changing journey through addiction, recovery, and cancer;The difference between “System identity” and “Soul identity”;How Internal Family Systems (IFS) reframes addiction as a protective part;Why connection, not control, is the antidote to teen drug addiction;How parents can hold space for their teen's pain without absorbing it;The generational patterns that shape kids long before behavior shows up;And much more.More About Jake WoodJake Wood is a certified Resilience and Transformation Coach who helps individuals navigate their Soul–System dynamics — the interplay between the stories they inherited and the soul's original truth. His descent through addiction, depression, and cancer became the doorway through which his soul revealed what had been buried beneath the early system conditioning. Today, Jake walks alongside those who feel called to turn inward and discover what their own soul is revealing. He can be reached at coaching@lifebeyondthebrink.com.  Looking for support?

There are some stories that force you to rethink everything you believe about addiction. This is one of them. Terry Devine was five years old when a teacher humiliated him in front of a class — a single moment that buried him in shame so deep he carried it for decades. That shame became the soil everything else grew from: the drinking, the chaos, the emotional collapse, and eventually heroin. Not because he wanted to get high, but because heroin felt like a parent he never had. Warm. Safe. Comforting. Until it wasn't.In this conversation, Terry reveals the parts of addiction that almost never make it into public view. The night he pushed a burning poker into his own arm. The moment heroin stopped working and withdrawal hit with a force that made death feel easier. The sickening realisation that he was no longer chasing pleasure — only running from pain. And the brutal truth that there are two kinds of rock bottom: the physical one everyone imagines, and a far more dangerous spiritual one that no one can see coming.Terry talks openly about how undiagnosed ADHD shaped everything: the impulsivity, the emotional intensity, the constant sense of being wrong in his own skin. He explains why he believes ADHD is one of the most overlooked drivers of early substance use, and how it became the invisible gateway that made heroin feel inevitable.What Terry describes here is the real machinery of addiction: the obsession that silences logic, the withdrawals that feel like your insides are being torn out, the distortion of identity, and the terrifying moment when a person realises they've crossed a line they can't uncross. He explains how shame becomes a worldview, how trauma rewrites the brain, and how addiction convinces you that you are beyond saving long before anyone else realises you're in trouble.And then, somehow, he rebuilt a life and you'll find out exactly how he did it. Terry met the love of his life in recovery and learn how they both stayed sober during tragedy, why the 12 steps having only small success rate is false, why and how cross addiction happens, how heroin lead him to alcohol and what it really means to be clean and sober. More on Terry -Today, he's a lecturer in forensic science at the University of the West of England, a clinical addiction hypnotherapist, a recovery coach, and the founder of Devine Recovery Solutions. He's dedicated to helping others break free from addiction.Terry is also a committed fundraiser in memory of his son, climbing mountains and volcanoes across the world — from Ecuador to Kilimanjaro. He's now approaching 13 yrs clean and sober.Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK - support here: https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773eThank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode!www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalTopics -0:00 Trailer & Intro4:40 A rock bottom moment 9:30 Shame, not feeling good enough and heroin14:35 If drugs are the answer what is the question?15:00 ADHD was the gateway drug 18:10 Alcohol to heroin was fast 21:30 Heroin withdrawal 25:15 Heroin addiction leads to stealing 27:00 Addiction Vs dependency 28:40 Cross addiction & relapse 32:20 Do you have to give up all drugs?33:20 How did Terry get clean and sober?37:30 12 Steps has a 5% success rate?41:30 Staying sober during tragedy48:30 Embracing vulnerability & courage 50:20 Sponsor 51:20 Can you have a relationship early in recovery?Follow Terry Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/terry__devineTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@terry_devineFollow Oliverhttps://linktr.ee/olivermasonYouTube - https://tinyurl.com/5amc8jttSpotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1rApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3#AddictionRecovery#HeroinSurvivor#MentalHealthAwareness

In this episode, Dr Laura dives into body image, exploring why talking about our bodies can feel so loaded and how negative body image impacts our emotions, self-esteem, and daily life. Drawing on her personal reflections growing up in the 80s and early 2000s, she highlights the cultural pressures that shape our perceptions. Key Takeaways: • What body image really is, both clinically and in everyday life • How negative body image can create shame and limit life experiences • Reflections on societal influences from childhood to now • Practical steps to start feeling more at home in your body Listen now for a compassionate, relatable guide to understanding and improving your relationship with your body. You can join Dr Laura's mailing list at www.drlaurawilliams.com/getpsyched By her bestselling book 'What to Do When You Feel Broken' at the link https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-When-Feel-Broken-Relationships/dp/183782262X/

In this episode, we begin our Advent journey in Eden, a place of freedom, communion, and life without shame. Eden is not only a moment in history, but also an interior garden within each of our hearts. We talk about the deep ache we all feel for union, rest, and peace, and how this longing reveals our original design for communion with God. We also reflect on the shame that often accompanies this desire for communion with others, especially when our desires are left unmet, and how bringing these places of poverty to Jesus opens us up to real, lived communion with Him.   Heather's One Thing - The Renew Conference in Toronto Heather's Other One Thing - Her Advent Worship Playlist Sister Miriam's One Thing - Sacred Anchor Artisans (Catholic Etsy!) founded by Tim and Molly Olsen Michelle's One Thing - The Inspired Living and this Chrism Candle Michelle's Other One Thing - Fr. Innocent Montgomery, CFR   Welcome, dear friends… to this Advent journey, a pilgrimage of the heart, through four sacred spaces where heaven once touched the earth.   These are the places of Advent. Eden. Loreto. Elizabeth's home. And a stable under starlight.   Each one holds a mystery… a whisper of God's coming, a rhythm of waiting, a quiet invitation to abide.   We begin… in Eden — the garden of beginnings and original designs, Here, everything was whole once, every breath in attunement with God's own. But even in the ache of what was lost, something sacred remains, a longing, a promise, a memory of shalom harmony still written in our bones.   Eden reminds us: our waiting is not empty. It is the remembering of love that has never stopped pursuing us.   Journal Questions: What are the unique gifts that God has placed inside of you? When do I experience shame in the ache for communion? When have I recently experienced a rupture from Eden? Who in your life allows you to feel at home and at ease? How can I return to Eden through a daily practice?   Discussion Questions: How have you experienced yourself as a gift? When have you experienced an ache for Eden in your life? When do you feel exiled from Eden? What glimpses of Eden have you seen in your life recently?   Quote to Ponder: "We all long for Eden, and we are constantly glimpsing it: our whole nature at its best and least corrupted, its gentlest and most human, is still soaked with the sense of exile." (J.R.R. Tolkien, The Letters of J.R.R. Tolkien)   Scripture for Lectio: "Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." (Genesis 2:25)   Sponsor - Altar + Home: Altar and Home by Conception Abbey exists to bring the beauty of Benedictine spirituality into your domestic church. The way we as Benedictine monks punctuate our days with prayer. The way we balance prayer and work (ora et labora). The way we pray with scripture in lectio divina. The way we live in community to support one another. Incorporating these treasures into your daily lives can draw you and your domestic church into Christ one day – one prayer – at a time. Our online store offers intentionally Catholic products for every occasion and every season. Lectio Divina rosary guides, daily journals, greeting cards, sacrament gifts, icons, and prints, along with books, bibles, and everything you need to make your home a sacred space.  Make Advent and Christmas a time of joy and peace with our Monk-Curated Collections—bundled sets specifically chosen by the monks to share our lives with each of you. They make the perfect gift for the Catholic in your life. Through this Altar + Home ministry, the Benedictine monks of Conception Abbey share the prayer God calls us to at the altar into the domestic church of our customers as we seek to cultivate one holy, apostolic, Catholic Church. We invite you shop with us at www.altarandhome.org. Use the discount code ABIDE to get 20% off your order.   Chapters:  00:00 Altar + Home 01:25 Intro 02:17 Welcome to Eden 09:38 Our Heart is a Garden and Place of Communion 11:18 We are Made as a Gift 13:32 Healing from Shame in Our Ache 17:57 Homesickness and Exile 20:23 God is Longing for Us 22:16 Imaginative Prayer 24:13 The Goodness of Our Bodies 26:06 Inviting the Lord into Communion 27:47 Advent is a Time of Preparation 29:32 One Things   Music used under license i94Cr0 

When does sexual empowerment cross the line into cult control? Following Ellen Huet's OneTaste expose, we sat with Anthia Gillick—former OneTaste “insider,” survivor, and truth-teller—for a deep dive into the mechanics of manipulation inside one of the most controversial so-called “wellness” groups of the last decade. Anthia shares her journey from lost post-grad to commune life, revealing how boundaries were vaporized, “personal growth” was weaponized, and manufactured intimacy masked abuse and exploitation. She breaks down the OneTaste playbook on love-bombing, sales, shame, and consent, plus what helped her finally get out—and how healing (and justice) have looked since. If you've ever wondered how “empowerment” can become a tool for control, or why smart people stay so long, this episode shines a bright and compassionate light on all the gray zones.You can follow Anthia on her website, anthiagillick.com, and follow her on Instagram or X.Trigger warning: This episode contains frank discussion of sexual exploitation and assault, psychological abuse, emotional manipulation, and physical violence in relationships.Also…let it be known that:The views and opinions expressed on A Little Bit Culty do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business, individual, anyone or anything. Nobody's mad at you, just don't be a culty fuckwad.**PRE-ORDER Sarah and Nippy's newest book hereCheck out our amazing sponsorsJoin A Little Bit Culty on PatreonGet poppin' fresh ALBC SwagSupport the pod and smash this linkCheck out our cult awareness and recovery resourcesWatch Sarah's TED Talk and buy her memoir, ScarredCREDITS: Executive Producers: Sarah Edmondson & Anthony AmesProduction Partner: Citizens of SoundCo-Creator: Jess TardyAudio production: Will RetherfordProduction Coordinator: Lesli DinsmoreWriter: Sandra NomotoSocial media team: Eric Skwarzynski and Brooke KeaneTheme Song: “Cultivated” by Jon Bryant co-written with Nygel AsselinSUPPORT OUR SPONSORS:Take advantage of this exclusive offer: For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. Go to Hungryroot.com/culty and use code culty.Don't let financial opportunity slip through the cracks. Use code CULTY at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year.For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting AuraFrames dot com to get $35 off Aura's best-selling Carver Mat frames—named number 1 by Wirecutter—by using promo code CULTY at checkout at AuraFrames.com, promo code CULTY. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply.Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbilt.com/culty. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you.AG1 has their best offer ever. Head to DRINKAG1.com/CULTY to get a FREE Welcome Kit, Omega 3s, Vitamin D3+K2, an AG1 Flavor Sampler, and you'll get to try their new sleep supplement AGZ for free. It's been a game changer for our nightly routine.Get last-minute hosting essentials, gifts for all your loved ones, and decor to celebrate the holidays for WAY less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with Quince. Go to Quince.com/culty for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.Right now, DripDrop is offering podcast listeners 20% off your first order. Go to dripdrop.com and use promo code CULTY.Shop for everything you need at Whole Foods Market, your holiday headquarters! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Is Black Friday really booming, or are inflated prices and AI shopping assistants just muddying the waters? This episode rips into the data, exposes retailer tactics, and debates if smarter tech is actually making us better shoppers. Black Friday data shows online sales strong, store results mixed Silicon Valley's man in the White House is benefiting himself and his friends View: Trump's AI agenda sails toward an iceberg of bipartisan populist fury 'We do fail ... a lot': Defense startup Anduril hits setbacks with weapons tech Solar's growth in US almost enough to offset rising energy use Datacenters in space are a terrible, horrible, no good idea China leapfrogs US in global market for 'open' AI models Danish authorities in rush to close security loophole in Chinese electric buses The Ford F-150 Lightning was supposed to transform the industry. Now, Ford may pull the plug Roblox is a problem — but it's a symptom of something worse Warner Music and Suno strike deal for AI music, giving artists control over their likeness Leak confirms OpenAI is preparing ads on ChatGPT for public roll out Jony Ive, Sam Altman: OpenAI plans elegantly simple device One tech tip: Modern cars are spying on you. Here's what you can do about it How a GM EV1 was sold for the first time GPU prices are coming to earth just as RAM costs shoot into the stratosphere Host: Leo Laporte Guests: Daniel Rubino, Sam Abuelsamid, and Mike Elgan Download or subscribe to This Week in Tech at https://twit.tv/shows/this-week-in-tech Join Club TWiT for Ad-Free Podcasts! Support what you love and get ad-free shows, a members-only Discord, and behind-the-scenes access. Join today: https://twit.tv/clubtwit Sponsors: ventionteams.com/twit deel.com/twit zapier.com/twit Melissa.com/twit zscaler.com/security

For ten years of her life, Fearne was gripped by a deep feeling of shame; she chats through how she's now learning to let it go. Shame breeds in silence, so we're talking about it loudly in this episode...-Shame researcher Brené Brown talks through how to cope with feeling ashamed through self-compassion-Comedian Dawn French explains that we all need to embrace being a bit of a twat sometimes because we learn more from mistakes than success-Artist Charlie Mackesy's got some thoughts about how shame is stopping us being vulnerable and connecting with others properly -Mental health activist Ben West opens up about the shame he felt after his brother's suicide -Singer Lulu reflects on how ashamed she was of her difficult childhood -Broadcaster Jamie Laing talks for the first time about his eating disorder and the shame he's held inside for so long Listen to the full episodes here:Brené BrownDawn FrenchCharlie MackesyBen WestLuluJamie Laing Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A conversation about the difference between marital privacy being born of shame versus dignity, the importance of teaching children about sexuality with directness, the cost of being too strict in all things related to family purity, how to determine which community's path, traditions and stringencies to follow, and how to bring divine intention into our experience of this mitzvah.This conversation is part of 2/2 with Elimor Ryzman. Part 1 can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AA0DQ68DvP4SAVE THE DATE: Human & Holy Open Mic Night in Jerusalem on Dec. 6. Join our Jerusalem WhatsApp group here: https://chat.whatsapp.com/E6Rk8cYK1aSGSzf4XAFeyQElimor Ryzman has over ten years' experience in teaching, lecturing and inspiring women from all over the world. From educating high school girls to lecturing Kallot and woman, Elimor is able to enthrall and engage a crowd with her passion and love. Her devotion to each and every one of her students is unique and everlasting. She believes that student success and personal growth is created through meaningful relationships. Upon Elimor's completion of the Michlala seminary in Jerusalem, she studied at Stern College for Woman, NYU School of Occupational Therapy, and at Ridman University for the study of holistic care. Elimor is a member of the PUAH Cares team and also received a certificate as a Yoetzet Bakehilla from the PUAH Organization. She is currently on the board of EVEN LA, a Los Angeles based organization that focuses on woman, Taharat Hamishpacha, and preserving the Jewish home. Elimor can be contacted at elimorg@gmail.com or 323-695-7636.* * * * * * *To inquire about sponsorship & advertising opportunities, please email us at info@humanandholy.comTo support our work, visit humanandholy.com/sponsor.Find us on Instagram @humanandholy & subscribe to our channel to stay up to date on all our upcoming conversations ✨Human & Holy podcast is available on all podcast streaming platforms. New episodes every Sunday & Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts.

277. Breaking Through Addiction in Marriage with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith   *DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults.   1 John 1:9 AMP "If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose].”   *Transcription Below*   Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth.   Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach (ICF) with a background in pastoral leadership, while Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR practitioner, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through APSATS. Both hold Master of Divinity degrees and have served together on multiple church leadership teams. Currently, they co-lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team, where they specialize in helping couples rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy.   Their passion for this work stems from their own journey of restoration. After experiencing the devastating effects of sexual addiction and betrayal in their marriage, Matthew and Joanna embarked on a years-long pursuit of reconciliation. This transformative experience led to the creation of tools like The Intimacy Pyramid™, a practical model for relational restoration and growth co-created with colleague Dan Drake.    Their first book, Building True Intimacy (2023), has sold over 1,000 copies and provides practical guidance for couples to use the Intimacy Pyramid to create enduring connections. They also founded Renewing Us Recovery™, a comprehensive program designed to support couples in the later stages of relational restoration. In November 2025, they will host the inaugural Renewing Us Couples Retreat, offering workshops and connection opportunities for couples on similar paths of recovery and growth.   Matthew and Joanna live in Memphis, Tennessee with their three young children. They prioritize self-care through shared adventures, new experiences, and a weekly game of pickleball.   Free Resource Mentioned in Episode   Building True Intimacy book   Questions and Topics Discussed: What were the warning signs that you noticed when you were newlyweds that tipped you off to believing things weren't quite as they seemed? Are there any common life circumstances, whether nature or nurture, that predispose someone to be more likely to struggle with a sexual addiction? As couples seek to thrive in marriage, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid you wrote a book about?   Other Episodes Mentioned During Episode: Pornography: Protecting Children, Personal Healing, Recovery, and Victory in Christ with Sam Black Pornography Addiction and Helpful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day   Additional Related Episodes on The Savvy Sauce: Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder Stories Series: Recovery From Sexual Sin in Marriage with Garrett and Brenna Naufel Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Special Patreon Re-Release Wholehearted Quiet Time with Naomi Vacaro   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”   Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”   John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:12)   Laura Dugger: (0:13 - 1:38) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com, or connect with them on Facebook.   Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are my guests today. They are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Our conversation takes a few turns, from getting to hear their incredible and vulnerable story of healing and then getting tips for talking to our children about topics like sex, and also even receiving some practical wisdom and tips for enhancing our own marital enjoyment.   Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Matthew and Joanna.   Matthew Raabsmith: (1:39 - 1:40) So good to be here.   Joanna Raabsmith: (1:40 - 1:42) So glad to be here. Thanks for having us.   Laura Dugger: (1:42 - 1:51) Oh, truly my pleasure. And let's just start here. Can you share your story going back to meeting and falling in love and your first part of marriage?   Matthew Raabsmith: (1:53 - 2:17) Sure, yeah. It was a little bumpy at first, actually. So, I knew Joanna through her brother. Joanna's brother was one of my best friends, and I got to meet her whenever she would come in town and visit, and she would invade guy night. He would usually bring her along to like a Lord of the Rings movie or something, and I would be a little frustrated because I would be like, oh, you brought your sister. Great. That's wonderful.   Joanna Raabsmith: (2:18 - 2:24) A little off-putting, not super friendly. And I was like, your friend's kind of a jerk. We did not like each other at all in the beginning.   Matthew Raabsmith: (2:24 - 2:54) Not big fans. And eventually over some time, we started to realize we had a lot in common. We liked to do a lot of the same things.   And one summer that Joanna was in town, we started hanging out, started doing more and more together, and really just kind of developed a friendship, which was really fun. And at the very end of the summer, realized that there was something between us. And so, we went on one date.   Our first date, we entered a golf tournament. We won it, and that was a good sign.   Joanna Raabsmith: (2:54 - 2:55) That's a pretty good sign.   Matthew Raabsmith: (2:55 - 3:02) And we went on three more dates over the course of two months and got engaged.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:03 - 3:07) And then two months after that, we got married.   Matthew Raabsmith: (3:07 - 3:16) Yeah. So, her brother went from like, yeah, it's cool you date my sister, to like, you're not ready to get married. But he's come around now.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:17 - 3:19) 15 years later. Yeah.   Matthew Raabsmith: (3:19 - 3:40) And, you know, a lot of it was, I think we had a definite sense of being kind of called together, being, you know, something special about who we were as a couple. And also, a recognition that we wanted to figure out what a good marriage looked like. We were really excited about marriage, but we didn't really know what we were doing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:41 - 4:15) Yeah, I've had a really great model of healthy relationship. My parents have a wonderful marriage. They work really well as a team.   And so, I knew, like, I want something like that. But as soon as we got married, we realized, but how do you actually build that? There's no, like, instruction manual for, okay, here are the things to do to have a great relationship.   And so, we read books. We went to conferences. You know, we did what we could, but we still found ourselves getting stuck, not able to really create, like, that deep sense of, like, connection intimacy that we really wanted.   Matthew Raabsmith: (4:15 - 5:17) And we started kind of hunting more and more for resources. We found some incredible resources that really changed our understanding of the way relationships work, the way people work, and really, for us, shifted our entire focus of kind of what we wanted to do, even with our life. And as we started to do that, though, we still kind of found ourselves at this kind of glass wall.   We felt like no matter what we tried, there was always this kind of distance between us. And that started to grow kind of over the years that we were together. It wasn't getting better.   It was actually kind of getting worse and worse and worse. And so, Joanna had actually decided to, after we finished our first grad degree together, the idea was we were going to go be pastors. And so, we had finished our kind of theological training.   Joanna decided she wanted to get a master's in marriage and family therapy so we could do some work around marriages and ministry in that way. And her very first-class kind of just set our life in a completely different direction.   Joanna Raabsmith: (5:17 - 6:26) Yes. So, my first class in the MFT program was a two-week intensive called Shame and Guilt. So, that's a really fun two-week intensive to be a part of. And as a part of that, though, they had an anonymous pastor come and share his testimony of struggling with sex addiction, becoming sober, getting into good recovery, healing and restoration in his marriage, kind of like that whole journey. And as he was talking, something inside of me started stirring. And I knew, OK, what he's saying is resonating way too much with me right now.   I think this is the thing. This is what is keeping us stuck, not able to really create the relationship we want. And so, that day I went home and first I just kind of started talking about my class, what I learned, what this pastor had shared.   Right. And nothing. Right.   We're just kind of talking generally about it. And so, finally I couldn't do it anymore. And I just stopped and I looked him square in the eyes and I said, “Are you struggling with this in our marriage right now?”   Matthew Raabsmith: (6:26 - 8:03) Yeah. And for the first time in my life, 20 years, I had been struggling with pornography, sexual addiction, and acting out in our marriage. And for the first time in my life, I was honest.   I had lied for years, both with Joanna and everyone else. And the kind of floodgates just kind of opened up. And I finally said yes.   And it was really hearing the story, I think, is what did it for me. I think it was knowing that somebody else had made it, that their life hadn't come crashing down because that was the greatest fear for me. That the moment anyone found this out, everything in my life would be over. Everything that I loved would be gone.   And so, this kind of story of hope gave me a little bit of courage that day, to be honest. But that started a really long journey for us because there was a lot of damage that was done in both of my hiding. And now kind of this revelation, all the pain kind of came crashing down on Joanna and kind of her shoulders.   And so, we started a quite intensive recovery process. We talked about it being kind of a full-time job. I went to recovery for my addiction and for kind of my acting out behaviors. Joanna had to begin a process of healing from the trauma of this discovery. And that process took us a number of years. It really was a long kind of arduous journey, but one that we ultimately survived and now thrive in our marriage and get the incredible luxury and the kind of gift of helping other couples do that.   So, that's kind of where we find ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (8:04 - 8:30) That is incredible. I just really appreciate you sharing your story. Clearly, stories are so powerful and that's what led to some healing for you and hopefully can open the floodgates for somebody else listening.   So, if we go back in your story, then, Joanna, I'd love to start with you. What were some of those red flags in early marriage that things aren't quite as they seem?   Joanna Raabsmith: (8:31 - 10:28) Yeah, there are a few. You know, I think that, you know, one of the pieces we kind of talked about, like, OK, we knew we're still getting stuck because there's 90 percent that felt really good. But then 10 percent that was extremely chaotic, really destructive.   Right. We would get we call the pain cycles when we get emotionally dysregulated. And there would be some things that, right.   Sometimes we would get into pain cycles, get dysregulated. And I kind of understand why. Right.   Like something happened. There was the disagreement. But other times I couldn't put my finger on it.   Right. Matthew would just get really angry and really shut down. And I wouldn't be able to connect it to anything that had happened in our life.   And so, it was very confusing. It was really hard to understand what was going on. And I think kind of in the same way, when I would pull too close into that connection, that intimacy, he would pull back.   Right. And it felt like even though we both named this goal and this desire, he would never actually partner with me in it. And so, again, that was really confusing because the actions were not matching up with reality and what was happening.   And I think the other piece that was kind of true for us and true for a lot of other people is that our own sexual relationship was fraught with pain. And so, there was, again, a lot that was really good, but also a lot that was really painful and confusing. And some of the pieces just didn't connect.   Right. And I would wonder, OK, what's going on? Well, I guess this is just the reality that like this is how much we get to expect in this area of our life, right.   In our relationship. And so, it was when the pastor started describing his life and addiction and what that looked like emotionally, sexually, relationally. I was like, oh, those are all the things that I'm currently experiencing.   Here's one thing that would answer all those questions that I have. And so, I think that was part of it. He kind of told me, like, OK, this is it.   Laura Dugger: (10:28 - 11:00) That would be so eye opening. And my heart's going out to the couple who is maybe starting to identify with this. Was it and share whatever you're comfortable with from your story or the person's story who opened things up to you?   So, sexually, I'm wondering if it was for you, Joanna, if you were hoping to connect sexually and that wasn't happening and that was confusing. You didn't feel pursued. But I don't want to fill in the blanks.   So, could you elaborate?   Joanna Raabsmith: (11:00 - 12:03) Absolutely. Yeah. And we find it a lot of different ways than couples that we work with.   Right. And so, it can be sometimes on either side of the extreme. And so, for us, it was where there would be kind of times when he'd be fully present and interested and engaged. Right. And then all of a sudden, kind of like I described emotionally, he would just withdraw and not be there. And I would reach out to connect.   And that was this like non-response. And which, again, didn't match up with those other times when he was engaged and wanting to connect. And he would give some sort of excuse that didn't totally make sense.   Right. But I was kind of like, what else? What was I left with except that?   So, I would kind of believe that and go with it, even though it didn't sit right. And so, yeah, I think that was part of it. We will see on the other side for some other couples.   It's the opposite. And maybe that spouse is hypersexual in the relationship. Right.   To the point where there might be pressure, even pressure to do things sexually that people aren't comfortable with. And so, yeah, it can look a lot of different ways. But that was kind of what our disconnect looked like.   Laura Dugger: (12:04 - 12:33) That's so helpful. And there's two different directions I want to go, Matthew. So, I'll set it up.   I guess I'm thinking of the guilt and shame and how those are usually so present. So, I have two questions. Were you when Joanna came to you, were you at a point where you recognize something was off and you wanted freedom from this and or had tried freedom before?   Let's start with that and then I'll go into the other one.   Matthew Raabsmith: (12:34 - 14:40) Yeah, it really was holy timing in a lot of ways. I, you know, for a lot of years I had I hated what I did. I didn't feel like I could stop it, but didn't have a lot of interest in kind of doing anything to stop it.   I kind of just like would just say, “OK, this is going to be the last time.” And then, you know, of course it would come back. But I think at this point I had really started to see the damage that was happening to our relationship.   I could feel us growing close, growing further apart. I could see kind of Joanna and the confusion that she was having. And like she couldn't understand things.   She would ask me a lot of questions that I didn't have answers to. And so, I actually a couple of months earlier, we were at a worship service, and they had said like, “hey, if you are ready to give something up, if you feel like there's something holding you back, come forward and confess it.” And Joanna and I were sitting next to each other, and I remember feeling like the Holy Spirit just like pulling me to like get up out of my seat and I wouldn't move.   I was like, no, because she's going to ask me what I went down for. I'm going there's you know, there's a random kind of prayer partner at the front. I'm like, I'm not going and confessing this to some random person.   And so, I was ready. But I think like I said, I think there was no path forward. It was kind of confess this and everything stops and ends.   But everything like marriage ends, life ends. And so, when she when she brought this, it really did feel like God had kind of been answering a prayer that I've been praying of like, if you give me a way out, I'll take it. I'm desperate.   I want it to stop. And it felt like that. I think it was both this kind of terror and this hope that day.   And even when I said, yes, it was a little bit like, what have I done? Like, could this have been different? Should I have just gone and told someone else privately?   Right. But I think ultimately that it was out between the two of us and that we kind of knew it. We knew what we were dealing with made a huge difference.   But I mean, God had been working in my life, offering opportunities for so long. I just been saying no, no, no. And then finally, you know, I think my heart just broke and it was like, yes, OK, I'm ready for this.   Laura Dugger: (14:40 - 15:14) I love how the Holy Spirit equipped you with that humility and courage to be brave in that moment. And it's such a blessing for all of us to get to see the end or I guess not the end of the story, but you at this point in your story where you're thriving. And so, I hope that offers a lot of hope to people listening.   But let's also pause. And so, going back further in time, Matthew, this was the other part of my question. What was life and attachment and your growing up journey like?   Matthew Raabsmith: (15:15 - 18:09) Yeah, I didn't know that at the time. Right. I a lot of this I figured out in the last couple of years of recovery.   You know, if you would have asked me, you know, as I was growing up about my life, I would have told you I had the perfect family. I had the perfect life. I think I did not realize that some of the things that I was going through weren't perfect, were harder.   And part of that was because I think the way my family dynamic worked was we just swept everything under the rug. You know, whatever happened, we just kind of went, OK, and moved on from. And I learned to do that as a kid.   And that meant a lot of emotional chaos. There was a lot of physical chaos and kind of volatility in our house growing up. And even though I had parents who are still married to this day, have stayed together and have tried to create kind of a stable life.   There was a lot of emotional and kind of relational instability. We moved around a lot. And then once we started moving, I found myself more and more kind of isolated at school. I started dealing with bullying and some things that really kind of left me not knowing how to deal with the pain that I was going through. And so, my way of stuffing things under the rug was getting, you know, escaping, you know, kind of escaping into anything that I could. I watched a lot of TV.   I was a latchkey kid, so I would come home. I'd watch TV a lot in the afternoon and then TV kind of just turned to more and more. And I was exposed pretty young to pornography, actually at a church camp.   I was at a summer church camp. Someone brought a Playboy magazine, and I was exposed to pornography. And I kind of felt that high, that rush.   And that just became kind of a mode of my escape. Right. Of whatever I could do to engage sexually, whether with my mind or with others.   That's how I could get out of the pain I was in. That's how I could stop feeling kind of the chaos that I was having and not realizing that it was becoming this kind of adaptive habit, that it would just be this thing I would go back to more and more. And I grew up at a time that technology was still emerging.   So, I can remember when we got our first computer and no one was talking about safeguards or anything. And so, it was just kind of exposure. Here you go.   Here's everything you could ever want and don't need. And that really became my life. And the more and more that I did, the better and better I got at lying and hiding and even being kind of vulnerable in kind of fake ways.   I would mention things like, yeah, we all have this struggle. And even Joanna, I had told like, you know, that was a struggle of mine in the past, but I've moved on from it. Right.   I told myself and other people just kind of lie after lie after lie so that I could have really this double life. I could appear one way and then I could be acting a completely different way, kind of in the dark.   Laura Dugger: (18:10 - 20:41) Yeah. And that makes sense. I'm thinking back to two episodes.   We did one with a male, Sam Black from Covenant Eyes, and he speaks so much of the origins of pornography and that foothold that Satan gets. And so many times it is in childhood, unwittingly you're exposed and then what it can turn into. And then Crystal Renaud Day came on to share a lot of females struggle with this as well.   And so, I'll link to those if those are a help.   And now a brief message from our sponsor. 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For me, I had to figure out what had really gone on in my life and what was really happening.   Because, like I said, I had become such an expert at hiding from myself and others that I didn't really know how to live any other way. And so, I, you know, Joanna kind of handed me a list of everything this pastor had done. She was like, here you go.   Right. She kind of handed me that list and was like, good luck. And so, I dove in.   I went to a men's intensive. And I think that was probably one of the key places for me to tell my story for the first time. I really took a look at my life and had some people help me take a look and recognize the trauma that I had as a kid exposure that I had experienced and what that really meant to me and helped me understand what I was doing.   But also, kind of what I was doing to myself, how I was really kind of killing myself from the inside out and preventing myself from having the kind of relationship I wanted with God and other people. And so, that discovery was in really ways kind of invigorating for me. I felt like I was living for the first time.   I think I had started to kind of get out of this kind of burden, this fear of always being caught. I told Joanna kind of the history of everything that had happened in my life and our relationship. And so, I was feeling this kind of renewed sense of like energy and excitement of like, this is good.   I want this life. I want the life there that I'm not in constant kind of fear and in constant kind of connection to this thing I hate. And so, which is really different than what Joanna was experiencing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (22:30 - 25:07) Yeah. So, for me, it was very jarring in the beginning. Everything I thought was real came crashing down around me.   And that was especially jarring because I had left kind of the direction, the path that I was on. Right. We talked about our story earlier.   It included two months of dating, two months of engagement before we got married. And that also included me dropping out of law school, getting married and moving to California to pursue a ministry degree so we could work as pastors together or do something together. And so, in that moment, all of that came crashing down.   And I kind of was very lost, not just in our relationship, but in kind of what in the world am I even doing here? What am I going to do moving forward if he doesn't choose recovery? Right.   And so, just all of those question marks, all in that one moment of him answering that question affirmative. And so, so there was like that heaviness on one side and then on the other side was this relief of finally everything I've been experiencing makes sense. Right. Finally, I feel like I actually know what's going on. And because of that, there could maybe be a path forward for us as well. So, is this very, very weird dichotomy in that moment? And so, but I think I knew right away, like, I can't be vulnerable. I can't be intimate with him anymore. Right.   I have to step back in our relationship and wait and see what he chooses to do. Is he going to choose to do the work of recovery and get healthy and start to be honest and safe or not? And so, that's so we kind of did kind of there's some space for a very long period of time while we focused on our own individual recoveries.   And that, again, was a little bumpy for me. This is over a decade ago. And so, there is very little information about what partners experience.   We call it betrayal trauma, and that just wasn't a very common word at the time. And so, some of the resources I plugged into came from a more we would call it codependent, co-addict focus, which just really didn't fit. So, I struggled to find resources that felt like they fit for my journey.   But once I did, it all again, my own healing process started to make sense. And it was so like freeing and liberating to understand. Like, oh, OK, this is what I'm going through. This is why I feel this way.   This is what it looks like to heal and move forward. And so, kind of beginning that process was so important because then when Matthew was kind of in a healthy, safe place, I was as well, and we can start to step in towards each other on that kind of more couples' journey at that point.   Laura Dugger: (25:07 - 25:17) I love how you did that wisely, though, separate first, not rushing into couples at that time. Absolutely.   Matthew Raabsmith: (25:18 - 26:33) Appreciate you calling it wise. I think we were terrified. Yeah, we'll take God's help.   I think he was like, you guys just work on your own stuff for a while. And in some ways, like I said, it was we didn't know what we were doing. But I think we knew we wanted there to be a future between the two of us.   But we knew it had to be completely different in some ways than what we had before, which was scary because we liked what we had before. Like we had a really great marriage in many ways. Right.   There was this portion of it, this hidden portion that was really infecting and killing it all. But what we did have together, we didn't want to totally lose. It just was really hard to know, especially early on, what's going to come forward.   Like, who are we still going to be as we go forward? Are we still going to be a couple who does things together? Right. Who works together? Or is that all kind of going to have to be different? Is that the only way that we have kind of moving forward?   And so, that was that was probably the hardest part was having like this sense of like not wanting to lose us. We were like, if we lost that, that was going to be miserable. And I think a lot of our work was about how do we eventually reclaim this marriage that we want, that we love?   Laura Dugger: (26:34 - 27:04) Yes, because from what I'm sensing, you're friends with each other, you're on purpose or on mission with God. He did a course correction change, putting you on this path to help couples. But your desire to work together, it's like He still honored that in the ministry of reconciliation.   And I'm assuming abundantly blessed it beyond what you could ever dreamed up what we're doing now.   Joanna Raabsmith: (27:04 - 27:42) Right. It's been amazing to see what God has done, how he's used our story, which is so fitting because it was someone sharing their story that brought our healing. And I think because of that and it wasn't right away; it took some time to get to the place where we felt open to God using our story to bring healing to others. But we found as we stepped into that, that we have received such a blessing.   Right. And just being able to sit with other couples in that journey and see them go from that place of pain and confusion to this place of restoration and thriving. Like there is no better work that we could have imagined for ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (27:42 - 28:09) Love that. And really, you did have to pioneer a path. There weren't many resources at that time.   So, that's another reason I'm grateful you can share your story, because I hope it unlocks freedom for others. So, if we're turning more outward now and you're helping as you work with couples, how do you help them identify the difference between sexual struggles and sexual addiction?   Matthew Raabsmith: (28:10 - 30:15) Yeah, that's a great question. And I think that it really kind of exists on a spectrum. And so, everything kind of exists under what we call problematic sexual behavior or unwanted sexual behavior.   Whenever someone is acting in a way sexually that doesn't align with their values. And then the question is, is how often, how compulsive, right? How habituated, right?   How really embedded is that practice? Because the more and more embedded it is and the more and more that I continue to act on that, seeing the damage that it's doing, that's really what qualifies as the addiction. The addiction is when I know that this is causing harm and I and I feel that even though I want to stop it and I've tried to stop.   Right. I can't stop the 12 steps has a great line. They say addicts, you know, addicts have no problem stopping.   It's staying stopped. That's hard for an addict. Right.   And so, that's usually a sign that there's an addiction. And really what that means is that just means that I'm going to have to be even more kind of thorough and scrupulous in my willingness to change a lot. Because if I have built an addictive lifestyle, that means everything I do kind of functions to support that lifestyle.   Right. And so, my part of that was this hiding. I lied about everything.   I would lie about anything just to make sure that I was in control of the narrative. And so, for me, it was recognizing that if I was going to move forward free of my addiction, then it had to begin with honesty, with this kind of radical honesty and transparency and growing in that consistently, because that was the way that I manifested this addiction and kind of kept it going. And so, that's really what the addiction is about, is recognizing what are the kind of pieces in my life that are supporting this addiction to continue to exist?   And how is God going to dismantle those things? Right. And how am I going to be a part of that dismantling?   Laura Dugger: (30:16 - 30:33) That's well said. And also, I'm curious, are there any common life circumstances, whether that's nature or nurture, that are more likely to predispose someone to more likely have this struggle with sexual addiction?   Matthew Raabsmith: (30:34 - 32:30) I mean, there are, I think, you know, the things that we tend to look for are trauma and trauma comes in so many different forms. So, trauma is more it's rare that it's a single event. It's often more a kind of consistent occurrences.   As I mentioned, you know, I can't speak to kind of one event in my life that I say this was the traumatic moment in which everything changed. But it was more of the chaos. And so, I grew up in a family that could be really, really, really loving and incredibly encouraging and fun and silly and in a heartbeat switch into one that was verbally and physically just chaotic and terrifying.   And it was that chaos that kept me on edge. What it did was it created in me kind of a system of always wanting to be on high alert. And that would exhaust me.   That would kind of wear me out. And I would want to kind of numb that kind of feeling away. And so, I think those traumas, I do think early exposure.   Right. I mean, I was exposed early before my brain was ready to really understand what it was dealing with. And I think the third component that we often see is a low level or a kind of really a void of sexual education.   There was I'm sure I had a small talk with my dad at some point, but we were not talking about pornography. We weren't talking about bodies. We weren't talking about sex from a kind of healthy, good way.   I grew up in the church, and it was kind of don't do this until you're married and then you'll be fine. Right. That was the sexual education message.   And so, those things, right, trauma, exposure and lack of kind of education usually forms in someone a difficulty of knowing what they're doing, knowing that it's destroying them before it's really kind of gotten a deep hole.   Joanna Raabsmith: (32:30 - 33:20) I think like the brain. The brain aspect to when we talk about addiction, there are usually chemicals involved in addiction being formed, being created. And so, I think also co-occurring disorders, right, that emotional pain, also things like anxiety, depression, ADHD, where my brain really likes the dopamine it gets from sexual acting out. Right.   And you can actually need it to feel OK. That can also be a factor in kind of especially that addictive side of these behaviors. When my brain gets really attached to that dopamine release that it's getting because maybe I have some other things going on or I just have emotional pain.   I don't know what to deal with, how to handle it, how to regulate that in a healthy way.   Laura Dugger: (33:20 - 34:30) There's so many good points there. I'll just highlight one because there's a profound piece that you were talking about with early exposure to evil and the corruption of it is extremely harmful. And yet not being exposed to God's good design for sex and hopefully being coached by our parents, that is both of those play a part in the addiction. And so, I'm thinking even as we shift to think about parents, I know I've had parents come to me and just say, I don't want to talk about this with my kids.   I don't want to rob their innocence. And my approach is if God made it, this is good. We can talk to them.   You're not robbing their innocence when you're sharing the good age-appropriate parts of sex. And it's so great to be that first one to share with them. And I think it does the opposite of what we would expect.   We're afraid that that might make them hyper sexualized. But would you speak to that? Any encouragement for parents?   Matthew Raabsmith: (34:30 - 36:37) Yeah, it's tricky. I mean, even as parents, we've got kids and its still kind of navigating it. But I do think what it does is it lets someone learn the things they need to in the timeline they need to.   I think part of one of the things is that, you know, really good sexual education starts young. I mean, they start six and seven years old or even younger, just talking about our bodies. Right.   Because I think that's part of it. Really, this is about understanding the goodness of our bodies. This body was created by God, the maker of heaven and earth, and he called it good.   And so, I think part of a good sexual education begins with that. And then, what's really nice is once you've started the conversation, that means if your children are exposed or if they're presented with things that don't line up with what they've been hearing, they now feel safe to come and talk about that. Because that's really what this was about.   I didn't feel safe to talk about what I was exposed to, what people were doing. Right. And what people were encouraging me to engage in.   And so, you know, my parents would ask me how it's going. I would not tell them anything because it wasn't a conversation that they were having with me. And so, I didn't think it was a conversation I was going to have with them.   And so, that meant that as I found myself further and further away from my values, I felt like, who am I going to share this with? And so, part of having the conversation is it normalizes with our kids that this is OK to talk about, which is actually what adults need. I mean, part of our work with couples as adults, we have to get them talking about sex and body parts.   I mean, it's amazing to have 30, 40, and 50-year-olds in our offices and in our sessions. And they're so uncomfortable. Right.   They don't want to talk about sex. They don't want to talk about their bodies. They don't want to talk about what their bodies do.   Right. And we keep being like, this is God's good stuff. Right.   There is goodness here. But you have to begin by talking about it. Right.   Having these conversations.   Joanna Raabsmith: (36:38 - 37:54) I tell all the parents I work with, your kids are going to pick up a narrative about what sex is and what sexuality is, whether you want them to or not. And so, would you rather be the first person to step in and give them a healthy view, a healthy narrative to understand? Right.   And this is beyond kind of the nuts and bolts that everything our kids are learning. They're trying to find a deeper meaning. They don't think it's unconscious when they're young. Right. But they're taking it and they're going, what meaning does this have for me? How does this inform my self-worth, my view of my own value as a human in my body?   And how does it inform my experience of the world and my safety in the world? And am I empowered to make decisions? Am I connected?   Do I belong? Right. All of those questions are asking.   And so, as they're confronted with issues of sexuality, it's going to inform those things. And the world will not give them a healthy narrative about it. Right.   And so, being able as a parent to step in and give them that healthy meaning, that narrative, that understanding of their worth and their safety as they're piecing together kind of sexuality, again, at that age-appropriate level is so important.   Laura Dugger: (37:54 - 38:30) Guess what? We are no longer an audio only podcast. We now have video included as well.   If you want to view the conversation each week, make sure you watch our videos. We're on YouTube and you can access videos or find answers to any of your other questions about the podcast when you visit thesavvysauce.com. And I love that you're talking about this with couples you work with.   So, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid that you actually wrote a book about and you teach to couples?   Joanna Raabsmith: (38:30 - 38:31) Absolutely.   Matthew Raabsmith: (38:31 - 39:15) Yeah. I mean, it was born out of our journey because, as you said, we wandered for a while and we felt a little bit like Israel, just kind of, you know, knowing that the Promised Land was out there, but never really feeling like we could find it. And when we started to piece together, I think the kind of relationship that we had dreamed of reclaiming, we really ask ourselves, how can we make this a more direct, a simpler process, not just for couples who went through what we went through, but really for any couple who's hungry for this, for the couple like us when we were first starting.   It really wants an amazing marriage. And so, we really focused on a kind of simplistic idea of what are the core kind of foundational levels of building really healthy intimacy.   Joanna Raabsmith: (39:16 - 40:10) Yeah. So, the intimacy pyramid, it's actually a triangle. There's a visual that goes along with it.   So, if you imagine the different levels of the triangle, very similar to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, starting at the bottom, you have to start with honesty. And so, we definitely experienced that reality in our own relationship. Right.   This is something we learned from Couples in Betrayal, but like Matthew said, we realized this is where every couple starts. Am I willing to be fully open, fully honest and transparent in this relationship? Am I being my authentic self?   Right. And after that level of honesty, that's when we start to build safety. And that has to do with our ability to communicate in really healthy, constructive ways.   Even when it's hard, even when we're disagreeing, even when we feel like yelling at each other. Are we able to show up with that belief that we both have the same goal? We're trying to build something together.   Matthew Raabsmith: (40:10 - 41:57) And with honesty and safety, that's where we get to work on trust as a couple. That's that next level. And trust is where we start to be more partners, where we're really starting to kind of lean in, work together, kind of be courageous and saying, “Hey, this isn't just my life anymore, right?”   This is our life together. And as that trust is established, this is what allows for the incredible work of vulnerability. And there's been all these studies about vulnerability over the last few years and how important it is.   What we recognize, though, is vulnerability on top of nothing is actually really risky and kind of even dangerous. It's vulnerability that's built on healthy trust where we step in and we do share some of those deeper pains in those wounds, those fears. We start to really heal some of those kind of early traumas that we experience.   It's in that vulnerability. That's what allows a couple to be truly intimate. And it's when they've worked through each of these levels, what we find is these couples, when they reach this kind of this intimacy level, they're passionate about who they are as a couple. They love kind of their relationship itself. They have a purpose to it. They have a sense that like our marriage, our relationship exists for a reason, but they're also really playful.   They're silly. They're really kind of comfortable in their own skin. And it's those five levels really working together that allows them to experience a relationship that gives life. I think one of the things we know is that when God creates, it gives life. And so, God created marriage not to burden us, right? Not to kind of, you know, not even just to get us through, you know, kind of surviving life, but actually to bring more life.   Right. And not just life within the relationship itself, but life outside of it.   Laura Dugger: (41:58 - 42:22) Oh, I love it. And you're also working with couples. I've heard you speak before about the working on offering your spouse the gift of self-awareness. And so, what could couples expect? How do you actually work with them to grow in self-awareness and recognize things like the emotional process they go through in marriage?   Joanna Raabsmith: (42:22 - 43:48) Absolutely. So, awareness. So, in our book, we obviously detail the intimacy period much more.   And that's Building True Intimacy is the name of the book. But each of those levels we just walked through have different components that go into that. And awareness is kind of like one of the most important components of that honesty foundation.   So, we have to start with awareness and we can't really build anything if there's a lack of self-awareness. And so, when we work with couples, one of the first places we start is we kind of look at the past. Are they aware of what they've been through, what those experiences are, and how those experiences have shaped them into the person that is now in the present, showing up with their spouse.   Right. And so, once I start to have that insight from my past, from those experiences, how they shape me, I can better understand my present. What are the things that I feel and why do I feel those things in particular?   Right. And then when I feel those things in a relationship, and these are typically those kind of heavier, more challenging, more painful emotions. How do I respond?   How am I showing up? Because the reality is that all of us cope with emotional pain the same way we cope with physical pain. We go into fight or flight.   That part of our brain gets triggered and we respond with these kind of destructive relational coping behaviors that then hurt my partner.   Matthew Raabsmith: (43:48 - 46:22) Yeah. Like, for example, I told you about that chaos I experienced as a kid. And so, those would always happen around conflicts.   My parents would disagree about something. There would be some type of argument about, you know, and it could be anything where we were going for dinner or what color the curtains were. Right.   But it would create this chaotic environment. So, as I got married, the thing that I didn't like the least was any type of conflict. Joanna and I would get in when I could sense us disagreeing and we are both passionate.   We have opinions and we believe things and we get into this kind of disagreement and argument. It would freak my system out. And I didn't realize that because I didn't really know my past.   I didn't know what was going on. I would just really do anything to shut it down. I get angry and I try to get loud, or I just walk away in the middle of a conversation.   As Joanna was talking, I would just leave the room and my acting out was just a further manifestation of that kind of leaving the relationship. And so, part of my healing journey was to learn about my story and recognize, oh, OK, I can see what's happening. And what's really interesting is it still happens in our life today.   I've been in recovery for 12 years. I still feel the same things. Now it's more like when my kids are getting involved.   Right. And there's energy in the room and people are online. And then I go, oh, yeah, there it is.   There's my system again. It's starting to feel unsafe. It's starting to feel alone. And I know what it wants to do. It wants to get angry, or it wants to just shut down and walk away. And what's incredible is that we've learned the ability to see where we're at but also speak directly to that.   And so, what I get to do for myself now is I get to go, “OK, I know I'm feeling unsafe and I know I'm feeling alone. And I know I want to get angry to solve it, but it won't do it. But here's the truth. The truth is that I'm safe in God's economy. I'm empowered. I have an incredible partner in my life. I've never been alone. I've always had someone there for me. And Joanna is the perfect example of that.”   And that totally changes my sense of really kind of where I am. And it changes how I show up. I tend to be much more calm.   I ask questions rather than make demands. And it's that ability to kind of see where we're at and shift. That's just been such a game changer for our family and just for our own relationship.   We still have to work on it. You know, it doesn't always look that pretty. Right.   But when we do, it's amazing how different it goes.   Laura Dugger: (46:24 - 46:44) And then I just think of the generational impacts that has when people are willing to do the work. And so, if there's a brave couple out there who wants to seek their own help and healing, can you share where they can go for help, including the Raabsmith team and all that you have to offer?   Matthew Raabsmith: (46:46 - 47:30) Yeah, you know, we would love them to connect with us because I think one of the things we recognize was having guides along the way. I mean, we had to figure a lot out ourselves, but we also had some really incredible guides, some mentors, some coaches, some therapists. And so, we always just say, hey, connect with us.   You can find us at raabsmithteam.com. We have a heart for couples who want restoration and reconciliation because that's what we're getting to live and experience. And what's cool is our whole team, they're couples who've been through this work, but who also have been professionally trained to help other couples to just continue to guide and to grow relationships so that they're thriving and they're kind of giving that life.   Joanna Raabsmith: (47:30 - 48:10) Absolutely. We also love to give out resources. And so, we have the kind of we call it the honest connection.   And so, again, if you're starting this journey or even this is for any couple who wants deeper connection, deeper intimacy, learning how to do that on a daily basis in small ways is so important. And so, we have a worksheet that couples can take and use. We're happy to provide that for them for free and kind of try this for 30 days and notice the changes that you experience in your relationship.   And so, that's a great starting point wherever you are in relationship to begin that journey of connection.   Matthew Raabsmith: (48:10 - 48:14) And you just go to raabsmithteam.com/free and that resource is all yours.   Laura Dugger: (48:15 - 48:26) Wonderful. Add links for that in the show notes for today's episode. And is this then for any couple worldwide, nationwide?   Can you work with people?   Matthew Raabsmith: (48:27 - 48:55) We have we've got couples across the world, which is really fun. It's been really neat just to see the way that God has used our work. One of the things when we first started this journey, we started getting couples calling us saying, “Hey, I don't have anybody in my area that specializes in this, that understands this journey. Can I work with you?” And so, we kind of felt a calling to say we want to make sure that we connect with people wherever they are. And so, absolutely.   If you can hear our voice, you can work with us.   Laura Dugger: (48:55 - 49:14) I love that. And just as a little bonus practical tip, you kind of mentioned being proactive to thriving in marriage. Is there any encouragement that you could share or a specific practical tip that anybody could start to incorporate if they want to take their marriage to that thriving level?   Matthew Raabsmith: (49:15 - 50:12) Yeah, I think just the ability to slow down. We have a  nine, seven and six-year-old. We own our own business, and we like life and life can get incredibly fast.   And I think what we have found is when, as I was mentioning, when I learned the ability just to slow down, even if I don't fully just know myself slowing down and checking in, just where am I at right now? Where's my heart? Right. Where do I want to be?   I think I realize that so often my values and my actions aren't aligned when I'm moving too quickly. I'm not being the person that I want to be. And we see that in so many couples. We meet so many couples and there are two really great people who have a hard time working together. They have a hard time kind of being a team.   And it's usually because they're working so fast. They don't realize they're kind of working against each other. So, slowing down, I think, is such a big thing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (50:12 - 51:18) Another piece that's, again, really easy to start right away. A lot of couples we work with, and I think probably even us when we start a relationship, was there were two individuals in a relationship, and it was kind of either me or you. And starting to understand there's this third thing between you, the relationship. There's a third almost entity that really needs care. It needs nurture. It needs you to focus on its needs from time to time.   And so, beginning to approach the day, even approach conversations with this question of like, what does our relationship need right now? And even as you're trying to make decisions, what is the way we can decide this in a way that's good for our relationship or what decision benefits our relationship rather than does it benefit you or me? Because when you get into that struggle, it can become a competition.   It can become transactional really quickly. So, starting to ask that question, starting to talk about the needs and caring for the relationship very intentionally can be a way to shift that.   Laura Dugger: (51:20 - 51:38) Thank you for sharing that. I think that leads into my last question, because you already know we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for both of you, Matthew and Joanna, what is your savvy sauce?   Matthew Raabsmith: (51:39 - 52:22) I kind of mentioned this, but I think it's the willingness to be honest. I was so willing to lie to myself and kind of really hide from other people. And I didn't even know that I was doing it.   But as I have learned to be more honest in really kind of healthy ways, right. You can dump, you can whine, you can complain, you can get angry. But truly being honest meant just looking at what I was feeling and trying to kind of figure that out and name that.   As I have learned that ability to be honest with myself and with others, it has just opened up a new world of possibilities. And it has shown me how many people care for me; how much God cares for me. So, I think that honesty is something I just want to practice more and more every day.   Joanna Raabsmith: (52:22 - 53:30) I think for me, just in my own journey and working with so many partners, that importance of being able to make empowered decisions in my life. Right. That I am really intentionally choosing the direction I'm going in life.   Realizing that instead of going into this more helpless, powerless victim stance is such a difference. And really the only thing that changes a lot of times is mindset. You don't have to overhaul your entire life.   Right. You have to add in like four hours of self-care and all of these things. But starting to shift that mindset into, wait, I have power in the decisions I make.   And one of the ways that's really important to do that is growing that self-awareness. I cannot make empowered decisions if I'm not aware of where I'm at emotionally, physically, spiritually. Right.   If I'm not aware of my needs on a regular basis. And so, slowing down to check those things in, sometimes even multiple times in the day if you're not used to that. So, you're more connected to yourself, to what you need, what you want.   So, you can start making those empowered decisions.   Laura Dugger: (53:32 - 54:00) I love that. It's just so enjoyable to host a very lively couple who's humble and you've done your work. And then you're willing to share all this overflow of goodness with all of us.   So, I think my prayer is that the Lord would richly bless you for this open-handed generosity of wisdom and your story and experience that you've shared with us and modeled for us today. So, thank you to both of you for being my guest.   Joanna Raabsmith: (54:00 - 54:03) Thank you so much. It's a joy being here.   Laura Dugger: (54:05 - 57:47) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Tap into your sexual creativity and get past fear and repression. Embrace your darker fantasies without having to make them real! Certified Sex Therapist & Host, Heather Shannon, interviews guest Bria Rose about her journey from working at Disney to becoming a successful author of dark, sexy fairy tales. She discusses the importance of exploring fantasies through fiction, and her personal journey towards sex positivity. Bria emphasizes the significance of communication in relationships and the need for sexual compatibility. She also shares insights on character creation, overcoming writer's block, and the role of inspiration in sexy writing. The conversation concludes with Bria's advice on navigating relationships and where to find her work.Chapters00:00 From Disney to Dark Fairy Tales02:42 Exploring Morality in Storytelling05:32 The Role of Fantasy in Healing08:30 Sex Positivity and Personal Growth10:30 Character Development in Dark Romance13:20 Reimagining Classic Tales As Dark, Sexy Ones16:14 Feminism and Modern Storytelling21:53 Exploring Character Dynamics in Fiction25:30 Generating Sexy Ideas and Finding Inspiration28:25 The Importance of Communication in Relationships34:10 Navigating Personal Growth and Relationship Dynamics38:34 Creating Characters and Their Therapeutic JourneysKeywordsBria Rose, dark fairy tales, Disney fan fiction, storytelling, morality, erotic novels, sex positivity, character creation, relationships, communication, romance novels, romantasy, sexy books, dark sexual fantasies, sex and healingThis podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Is Black Friday really booming, or are inflated prices and AI shopping assistants just muddying the waters? This episode rips into the data, exposes retailer tactics, and debates if smarter tech is actually making us better shoppers. Black Friday data shows online sales strong, store results mixed Silicon Valley's man in the White House is benefiting himself and his friends View: Trump's AI agenda sails toward an iceberg of bipartisan populist fury 'We do fail ... a lot': Defense startup Anduril hits setbacks with weapons tech Solar's growth in US almost enough to offset rising energy use Datacenters in space are a terrible, horrible, no good idea China leapfrogs US in global market for 'open' AI models Danish authorities in rush to close security loophole in Chinese electric buses The Ford F-150 Lightning was supposed to transform the industry. Now, Ford may pull the plug Roblox is a problem — but it's a symptom of something worse Warner Music and Suno strike deal for AI music, giving artists control over their likeness Leak confirms OpenAI is preparing ads on ChatGPT for public roll out Jony Ive, Sam Altman: OpenAI plans elegantly simple device One tech tip: Modern cars are spying on you. Here's what you can do about it How a GM EV1 was sold for the first time GPU prices are coming to earth just as RAM costs shoot into the stratosphere Host: Leo Laporte Guests: Daniel Rubino, Sam Abuelsamid, and Mike Elgan Download or subscribe to This Week in Tech at https://twit.tv/shows/this-week-in-tech Join Club TWiT for Ad-Free Podcasts! Support what you love and get ad-free shows, a members-only Discord, and behind-the-scenes access. Join today: https://twit.tv/clubtwit Sponsors: ventionteams.com/twit deel.com/twit zapier.com/twit Melissa.com/twit zscaler.com/security

Is Black Friday really booming, or are inflated prices and AI shopping assistants just muddying the waters? This episode rips into the data, exposes retailer tactics, and debates if smarter tech is actually making us better shoppers. Black Friday data shows online sales strong, store results mixed Silicon Valley's man in the White House is benefiting himself and his friends View: Trump's AI agenda sails toward an iceberg of bipartisan populist fury 'We do fail ... a lot': Defense startup Anduril hits setbacks with weapons tech Solar's growth in US almost enough to offset rising energy use Datacenters in space are a terrible, horrible, no good idea China leapfrogs US in global market for 'open' AI models Danish authorities in rush to close security loophole in Chinese electric buses The Ford F-150 Lightning was supposed to transform the industry. Now, Ford may pull the plug Roblox is a problem — but it's a symptom of something worse Warner Music and Suno strike deal for AI music, giving artists control over their likeness Leak confirms OpenAI is preparing ads on ChatGPT for public roll out Jony Ive, Sam Altman: OpenAI plans elegantly simple device One tech tip: Modern cars are spying on you. Here's what you can do about it How a GM EV1 was sold for the first time GPU prices are coming to earth just as RAM costs shoot into the stratosphere Host: Leo Laporte Guests: Daniel Rubino, Sam Abuelsamid, and Mike Elgan Download or subscribe to This Week in Tech at https://twit.tv/shows/this-week-in-tech Join Club TWiT for Ad-Free Podcasts! Support what you love and get ad-free shows, a members-only Discord, and behind-the-scenes access. Join today: https://twit.tv/clubtwit Sponsors: ventionteams.com/twit deel.com/twit zapier.com/twit Melissa.com/twit zscaler.com/security

When Christ informed his disciples that one of them would betray them, their response was, 'Is it I, Lord?' When I'm confronted with something that I did wrong or an accusation, most often my immediate response is, 'What are you talking about? I didn't mess that up! How could you accuse me of such a thing?!?' Hmmm. Very telling. I'm obviously not disciple worthy yet! However, I can work on developing the ability to look inward, to see my own failings and weaknesses that will allow me to take responsibility by asking, 'Is it I?' rather than looking outward to blaming, accusing, or criticizing others. It's a process of growth to get there, for all of us, but get there we will if we continue to figure it out a piece at a time. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #26 Taking Offense on Apple on Spotify #34 Self-Compassion on Apple on Spotify #55 Don't Should Yourself on Apple on Spotify #70 Self Reflection and Self Coaching on Apple on Spotify #83 Self-Honesty on Apple on Spotify #108 Spiritual Submission & Self-Worth on Apple on Spotify #110 The Cost of Being Right on Apple on Spotify #156 The Benefits of Being Wrong on Apple on Spotify #173 A Space For Grace on Apple on Spotify #196 How to Break the Blame/Defense Cycle on Apple on Spotify #203 Cleaning Up Your Apology on Apple on Spotify #225 Shame, Blame, and Disempowerment on Apple on Spotify #235 The Beautiful Mess on Apple on Spotify #238 Overflow on Apple on Spotify #242 Circling Back Around on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Is Black Friday really booming, or are inflated prices and AI shopping assistants just muddying the waters? This episode rips into the data, exposes retailer tactics, and debates if smarter tech is actually making us better shoppers. Black Friday data shows online sales strong, store results mixed Silicon Valley's man in the White House is benefiting himself and his friends View: Trump's AI agenda sails toward an iceberg of bipartisan populist fury 'We do fail ... a lot': Defense startup Anduril hits setbacks with weapons tech Solar's growth in US almost enough to offset rising energy use Datacenters in space are a terrible, horrible, no good idea China leapfrogs US in global market for 'open' AI models Danish authorities in rush to close security loophole in Chinese electric buses The Ford F-150 Lightning was supposed to transform the industry. Now, Ford may pull the plug Roblox is a problem — but it's a symptom of something worse Warner Music and Suno strike deal for AI music, giving artists control over their likeness Leak confirms OpenAI is preparing ads on ChatGPT for public roll out Jony Ive, Sam Altman: OpenAI plans elegantly simple device One tech tip: Modern cars are spying on you. Here's what you can do about it How a GM EV1 was sold for the first time GPU prices are coming to earth just as RAM costs shoot into the stratosphere Host: Leo Laporte Guests: Daniel Rubino, Sam Abuelsamid, and Mike Elgan Download or subscribe to This Week in Tech at https://twit.tv/shows/this-week-in-tech Join Club TWiT for Ad-Free Podcasts! Support what you love and get ad-free shows, a members-only Discord, and behind-the-scenes access. Join today: https://twit.tv/clubtwit Sponsors: ventionteams.com/twit deel.com/twit zapier.com/twit Melissa.com/twit zscaler.com/security

Send me a DM here (it doesn't let me respond), OR email me: imagineabetterworld2020@gmail.comToday I'm honored to have back on the show for another amazing show: survivor and child abuse advocate, podcaster, woman of God, independent researcher, investigative journalist and educator, and one of my dear friends: Jaymee Jay!Jaymee's journey, forged in the fires of a challenging upbringing of traditional family dysfunction, has uniquely shaped her into a beacon of brilliance and compassion, lighting up and inspiring the paths of countless lives with her remarkable achievements. With a world of possibilities at her fingertips, she could have chosen any pursuit to invest her boundless energy, intellect, and voice. Yet, in an act of unparalleled selflessness, Jaymee has devoted herself to unraveling the complexities of SRA, mind control, and organized abuse, serving as a tireless advocate for survivors and whistleblowers of these heinous crimes against humanity. I stand in absolute awe of her unwavering resolve to step onto this war - a battle she could have easily observed from a safe distance, never uttering a word. To me, Jaymee is nothing short of a hero, fearlessly raising her voice as an ally, fully aware of the risks, the targets it paints on her back, and the absence of any material reward. In today's podcast episode, Jaymee turns her compassionate gaze to one of the most insidious threads woven into every abuse survivor's journey: the suffocating weight of shame and the weaponization of shame. This silent saboteur shadows journeys from the first whisper of violation to the fragile steps toward freedom, binding survivors in chains of self-doubt and isolation. During the abuse itself, perpetrators wield shame as their cruelest weapon, gaslighting victims into believing they invited the harm or somehow deserved it - instilling a toxic narrative that the survivor's very essence is flawed and unworthy. It lingers like a venomous fog, compelling many to bury their truths deep within, where silence becomes both prison and protector. Studies show that over 75% of female sexual abuse survivors grapple with this trauma-related shame, often delaying disclosure for years or even decades. And when survivors finally summon the insurmountable courage to speak out - as they must, to reclaim their lives and to be set free - the world too often recoils with its own arsenal of shame, demanding irrefutable "proof," branding them as fabricators, or layering on victim-blaming that twists the knife deeper, fostering feelings of worthlessness, self-blame, and a haunting fear of judgment. Without intervention, shame spirals into isolation, depression, self-harm, and even barriers to essential healthcare, as the dread of exposure keeps survivors hidden from the very support that could set them free.BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS ON SHAME FROM JAYMEE: 1. "Sanctification in Reverse" - https://a.co/d/f9kwdde2. "Secret Survivors" - https://www.amazon.ca/Secret-Survivors-Sue-Blume/dp/03453697933. "The Shame that Binds You" - https://www.amazon.ca/Healing-Shame-that-Binds-You/dp/07573032344. "Complex PTSD (emotional flashbacks) - https://www.amazon.ca/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD/dp/14928718425 "Emotional Frequency Scale" - https://neurolaunch.com/hawkins-emotional-scale/6. Brene Brown shame research - Support the show

0:00 Disgusting: Liberal media blames Trump for National Guard shooting in DC: Robby Soave | RISING 9:45 Trump vows to cancel Biden's 'autopen' orders | RISING 18:35 Trump says he's freezing 'third-world migration', ending non-citizens' federal benefits | RISING 23:17 Trump escalates media attacks of 'Offender of the Week', 'Hall of Shame': Lindsey Granger | RISING 32:36 Kelly indicates possible war crimes over Hegseth's alleged 'kill everybody' orders | RISING 42:31 TPUSA defends Oklahoma student who was failed, cited the Bible in paper | RISING Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's narration of Reddit stories, OP's friend have setup a birthday "tradition" where the birthday person pays for dinner and they all get the person an expensive gift together. However OP doesn't really enjoy this system and wants to change things.0:00 Intro0.19 Story 13:42 Story 1 Comments from OP5:30 Story 1 Update 16:42 Story 1 Update 210:23 Story 212:41 Story 2 Comments14:42 Story 2 Update15:47 Story 2 Comments16:23 Story 317:35 Story 3 Comments / OP's Replies20:18 Story 3 UpdateFor more viral Reddit stories, incredible confessions, and the best Reddit tales from across the platform, subscribe to the channel! I *try* :) to bring you the most entertaining Reddit stories, carefully selected from top subreddits and narrated for your enjoyment. Whether you love drama, revenge, or heart-warming moments, this channel delivers the most captivating Reddit content. New videos uploaded daily featuring the best Reddit stories you won't want to miss!#redditupdate #redditrelationship #redditstoriesreddit Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most people think the goal with mismatched libidos is making the lower-desire partner want more of the sex you've been having—or making the higher-desire partner want less. But that's not it. And it wouldn't work anyway. I walk through the actual goals when you're healing a desire gap. They boil down to maximizing sexual compatibility, emotional connection, and quality of communication, then deciding how to manage whatever gap, if any, is left over. This means focusing first on better quality sex, real emotional connection, and removing what's blocking desire. Then making clean decisions together. Plus, we'll talk about why magic bullets or quick fixes don't work, and what does. Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido Find out more about me at https://laurajurgens.com/

In this podcast you will learn about shame. Shame is a belief and it results in behaviors that are unhealthy.

What if gratitude is the gate that leads you into the presence of God… and the key to deeper healing, joy, and spiritual wholeness? In this message, Pastor Jason Daughdrill walks through Luke 17:11–19, where Jesus heals ten lepers — but only one returns. This one moment reveals a truth that medical research is only now catching up to: gratitude transforms you from the inside out.In this sermon, you'll learn: • Why gratitude is spiritual before it's emotional • How remembering where God found you fuels fresh worship • Why entitlement kills gratitude • The reason Jesus expects us to return, not just receive • How gratitude actually brings you closer to Jesus • Why gratitude makes you whole, not just healedModern research from Harvard, UCLA, and Mayo Clinic confirms what Scripture has said for 2,000 years: gratitude renews your mind, strengthens your heart, and changes your life.Be the one who returns.Be the one who remembers.Be the one who gives thanks.

Watch The X22 Report On Video No videos found (function(w,d,s,i){w.ldAdInit=w.ldAdInit||[];w.ldAdInit.push({slot:17532056201798502,size:[0, 0],id:"ld-9437-3289"});if(!d.getElementById(i)){var j=d.createElement(s),p=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];j.async=true;j.src="https://cdn2.decide.dev/_js/ajs.js";j.id=i;p.parentNode.insertBefore(j,p);}})(window,document,"script","ld-ajs");pt> Click On Picture To See Larger PictureCanada just folded and is now doing what Trump wants in regards to steel and aluminum, Trump has all the leverage. The Dept of Labor confirms that Americans were being replaced in the work field. Trump is set to push homeownership thru the roof with a  50 year mortgage. Trump has the solution to the affordability crisis that the [CB] created, get rid of the [CB]. Trump is dismantling the [DS] world wide. The criminal syndicate was setup in many countries to make it virtually impossible to dismantle. But it is being done through peace through strength. The [DS] system is being strangled and soon those who have been held captive will be removed or come to heel. Trump is now setting the stage to bring the [DS] to justice. He has now voided out 92% of Biden orders, which means judges, other nominees will be removed. Justice is coming and the [DS] players are panicking. Economy Interesting Development – Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney Announces New Limits on Foreign Steel and Aluminum, With New 25% Tariff on Steel Derivative Components   Prime Minister Mark Carney is conceding defeat to President Trump and positioning the Canadian economy to be compliant with U.S-Mexico trade regulations. However, Carney is not saying that, indeed he cannot; he's spent over a year telling Canadians that President Trump's trade and economic demands are not going to be accepted by Canada.  However, what he is factually doing is exactly what President Trump has demanded. Prime Minister Carney is saying he is restricting Steel and Aluminum imports from non-free trade agreement countries, and he is lowering the tonnage of Steel and Aluminum that will be permitted for import.  His claim is that this approach will help drive up “domestic demand” for Canadian Steel and Aluminum, but that's ancillary to the real objective. President Trump has demanded Canada stop importing cheap steel and aluminum mostly from China; including manufactured component goods that are made with steel and aluminum (think autos).  Canada would not stop, because they could not stop.  Their manufacturing base, green energy and climate change economy, is more of a component assembly system now. So, President Trump hit Canada with a 35% tariff, and things got ugly.  In June Trump raised the tariff to 50%. The back and forth has gone on all year. Carney now announces restrictions on imported steel and aluminum, as well as restrictions on imported derivative goods that come from steel and aluminum, in combination with a spending plan to bolster the Canadian steel and aluminum manufacturing base.  This ends up shifting the Canadian industrial sector to making steel and aluminum products without Chinese import dependency. Source: theconservativetreehouse.com https://twitter.com/USDOL/status/1994841467345670569?s=20 https://twitter.com/unusual_whales/status/1994556411439976468?s=20 (function(w,d,s,i){w.ldAdInit=w.ldAdInit||[];w.ldAdInit.push({slot:18510697282300316,size:[0, 0],id:"ld-8599-9832"});if(!d.getElementById(i)){var j=d.createElement(s),p=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];j.async=true;j.src="https://cdn2.decide.dev/_js/ajs.js";j.id=i;p.parentNode.insertBefore(j,p);}})(window,document,"script","ld-ajs"); https://twitter.com/KobeissiLetter/status/1994918010197278811?s=20 https://twitter.com/SecScottBessent/status/1994478437042438573?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1994478437042438573%7Ctwgr%5Ee930cbbc1182e7871f84fda0a85e43c6c0f2ca9c%7Ctwcon%5Es1_c10&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.thegatewaypundit.com%2F2025%2F11%2Ftreasury-working-cut-benefits-money-transfers-illegal-aliens%2F   are no longer available to illegal and other non-qualified aliens, covering the Earned Income Tax Credit, the Additional Child Tax Credit, the American Opportunity Tax Credit, and the Saver's Match Credit. https://twitter.com/unusual_whales/status/1994064168115478599?s=20 https://twitter.com/unusual_whales/status/1994844057110262116?s=20   Prices and Taxes are DOWN. Education is being brought back to the States (where it belongs!), and our Military, and Southern Border, is the strongest they have ever been. The USA is respected again, respected like never before. All of this was brought about by Strong Leadership and TARIFFS, without which we would be a poor and pathetic laughingstock again. Evil, American hating Forces are fighting us at the United States Supreme Court. Pray to God that our Nine Justices will show great wisdom, and do the right thing for America! Political/Rights https://twitter.com/amuse/status/1994796365461758352?s=20   public that illegal entry violates 8 U.S.C. §1325 and reentry after deportation violates §1326, a felony the left avoids acknowledging. He said 60–70% of illegal aliens arrested in immigration sweeps carry prior criminal or immigration histories. With DHS logging over 527,000 deportations in 2025, Trump's enforcement surge is targeting high-risk offenders. Bovino said the radical left simply ignores the law because it undermines their narrative. DOGE Trump White House Unleashes Media Bias Tracker to Crush Fake News Narratives  The Trump administration has launched a brand-new “Media Bias Tracker” directly on the White House website. Unveiled on Friday, this tool is designed to call out and document the endless stream of false, misleading, and biased stories peddled by outlets that have spent years attacking President Donald Trump and his agenda. According to the White House, the tracker serves as a “record of the media's false and misleading stories flagged by The White House.” The tracker highlights “offenses” from major news publications, including an “Offender Hall of Shame” and a leaderboard ranking the worst culprits in spreading misinformation. Described as “a race to the bottom,” this feature ranks outlets based on repeat offenses. Topping the Hall of Shame list is The Washington Post, followed by rebranded leftist mouthpieces like MSNBC (now MS NOW), CBS News, CNN, The New York Times, Politico, and The Wall Street Journal. In response to their top spot, a spokesperson for the Washington Post said, “The Washington Post is proud of its accurate, rigorous journalism.” The page also features a “Media Offender of the Week,” currently blasting outlets for exaggerating Trump's calls to hold Democrats accountable for their seditious behavior. Source: thegatewaypundit.com https://twitter.com/newstart_2024/status/1994506579660689812?s=20  entire Silicon Valley “tech wife mafia” and how they were used. Her exact words (full clip attached): “I don't think many of the tech mafia wives realize… they were used to set the groundwork for what Klaus Schwab calls The Great Reset. Their money especially was being conscripted through a network of NGO advisors, Hollywood, Davos, and their own companies. A really small group of people… completely blind to how their groundwork is being used to enable these Great Reset policies.” Then she turns the knife inward: “These women find their meaning through philanthropic work. I really believed I was helping Black communities and indigenous communities rise up. But now the problems have gotten worse. Crime worse. Mental health worse. The whole model is broken. At the end of the day they always go: ‘But climate change.' Social justice + climate change — it gets progressive women 100% of the time.” She even says many now believe the biggest “climate change issues” are actually geoengineering issues. This isn't some random podcast bro. This is a woman who lived in the mansions, sat on the boards, flew private to Davos parties… and is now saying: “We were the useful idiots.” Geopolitical https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1994936233878065399?s=20   with a legally possessed shotgun at a Florida shooting range, a British man was arrested, locked in a cell overnight, interrogated, and lectured that he “must understand how posts make people feel.” Police seized his computer and phone, wiping out his ability to work. Weeks later, all charges were quietly dropped because they were baseless from the start. Critics say the ordeal proves the UK has turned social media into a surveillance trap where innocent people are punished by process alone. https://twitter.com/amuse/status/1994781531244474604?s=20   terrorizing AfD. Antifa extremists descended on an AfD youth event in Giessen, attacking attendees and Bundestag member Julian Schmidt in a coordinated effort to intimidate the rising populist party. Germany has faced a wave of Antifa terror: doxxing AfD addresses, firebombing cars and threatening families. Mike Benz says Antifa is part of a transnational Marxist network weaponized since Trump's 2016 victory to shield globalist interests by attacking democratic populist movements across the West. Violence increases as AfD gains support. War/Peace   roads. His chief opponent is Rixi Moncada, who says Fidel Castro is her idol. Normally, the smart people of Honduras, would reject her, and elect Tito Asfura, but the Communists are trying to trick the people by running a third Candidate, Salvador Nasralla. Nasralla is no friend of Freedom. A borderline Communist, he helped Xiomara Castro by running as her Vice President. He won, and helped Castro win. Then he resigned, and is now pretending to be an anti-Communist only for the purposes of splitting Asfura's vote. The people of Honduras must not be tricked again. The only real friend of Freedom in Honduras is Tito Asfura. Tito and I can work together to fight the Narcocommunists, and bring needed aid to the people of Honduras. I cannot work with Moncada and the Communists, and Nasralla is not a reliable partner for Freedom, and cannot be trusted. I hope the people of Honduras vote for Freedom and Democracy, and elect Tito Asfura, President!   potential, of Honduras! Additionally, I will be granting a Full and Complete Pardon to Former President Juan Orlando Hernandez who has been, according to many people that I greatly respect, treated very harshly and unfairly. This cannot be allowed to happen, especially now, after Tito Asfura wins the Election, when Honduras will be on its way to Great Political and Financial Success. VOTE FOR TITO ASFURA FOR PRESIDENT, AND CONGRATULATIONS TO JUAN ORLANDO HERNANDEZ ON YOUR UPCOMING PARDON. Thank you for your attention to this matter. MAKE HONDURAS GREAT AGAIN! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP https://twitter.com/DataRepublican/status/1994907658021998933?s=20   a crisis. International law has no force here. Your authority, mine, and that of the scholars you cite sits on the same level: none. It is all gatekeeping dressed as expertise. The video urging people to ignore “illegal orders” made your intent clear. You stretch the term until it covers anything that suits your goal of weakening the security apparatus and pushing Trump out of office. People see that. They see you. That you all are walking free and making those posts trying to advance a color revolution is the ultimate proof that Trump is not an authoritarian… he is far too lenient. https://twitter.com/CynicalPublius/status/1994807665147744671?s=20 https://twitter.com/SecWar/status/1994552598142038358?s=20  intended to be “lethal, kinetic strikes.” The declared intent is to stop lethal drugs, destroy narco-boats, and kill the narco-terrorists who are poisoning the American people. Every trafficker we kill is affiliated with a Designated Terrorist Organization. The Biden administration preferred the kid gloves approach, allowing millions of people — including dangerous cartels and unvetted Afghans — to flood our communities with drugs and violence. The Trump administration has sealed the border and gone on offense against narco-terrorists. Biden coddled terrorists, we kill them. Our current operations in the Caribbean are lawful under both U.S. and international law, with all actions in compliance with the law of armed conflict—and approved by the best military and civilian lawyers, up and down the chain of command. Our warriors in SOUTHCOM put their lives on the line every day to protect the Homeland from narco-terrorists — and I will ALWAYS have their back. https://twitter.com/TimOnPoint/status/1994570386239852571?s=20   is probably closer to the SECWAR's office in the Pentagon. The Washington Post begins writing the story. C) a Soros-funded NGO puts billboards up encouraging military personnel to report unlawful orders… although there are no unlawful orders identified. D) out of nowhere, the Seditious Six – which includes one presidential hopeful and one former IC member who had direct involvement in the original attempt to destroy Trump – delivers to social media a “don't give up the ship” video – a public service announcement to all personnel to refuse unlawful orders. *** the video was funded and produced a Soros funded NGO. E) Senator Slotkin, the former CIA ghoul, goes on the news and is very careful to state that she can't identify any unlawful orders that have been given. F) boom, the WaPo delivers the story claiming unlawful orders. G) Friday evening, everyone on the left hits social media – with paid amplification – about the unlawful orders. H) the Sunday shows will be filled with calls for war crimes charges, impeachments, and resignations. All a coincidence, right? None of it was coordinated, right? Not all civil wars happen on the battlefield. https://twitter.com/PeteHegseth/status/1994553202767700041?s=20  https://twitter.com/sentdefender/status/1994957376764424644?s=20   House through a number of channels, with ongoing discussions about what future communication between the two countries might look like, multiple administration officials told CNN. Venezuela Issues Statement After President Trump Orders All Aircraft to Avoid Regime-Controlled Airspace   In Venezuela's statement, the regime accused the United States of attempting to “intimidate Venezuela” and framed Trump's announcement as an attack on Latin America as a whole. The press release ignored every factual concern raised by U.S. intelligence, including increased military involvement in cocaine transport and the regime's long-standing partnership with the Cartel of the Suns. Today's outburst from the Maduro regime is another example of Venezuela deflecting blame while its role in regional crime expands. Meanwhile, President Trump's position is clear: protect international aviation, disrupt drug networks, and stop allowing a criminal regime to use its airspace as a staging ground. Source: thegatewaypundit.com https://twitter.com/GhostEzraQ/status/1994769781073867174?s=20   Pentagon for decades. Who do you think really armed the Venezuelan “gangs” that flooded swing states right before the election? Who flew the untraceable Gulfstreams full of product and kids out of Maturín and Maiquetía while Biden looked the other way? Same people who ran Iran-Contra, fast-forward 40 years. Trump isn't just closing airspace, he's cutting the oxygen to the deep-state money laundering superhighway that's been funding black sites, color revolutions, and child trafficking networks across the hemisphere. Land operations begin “VERY SOON.” Translation: The white hats are moving in to seize the servers, the tunnels, and the ledgers the mockingbird media swore didn't exist. The storm over Caracas is about to expose everything. https://twitter.com/xAlphaWarriorx/status/1994912948201165251?s=20   just talk…he'll detonate his/deep states entire network. Many are struggling with discernment, but the strategic reality is simple: Maduro hasn't controlled Venezuela for years. The deep state held the reins. Then the guardians caught him, flipped him and weaponized the façade of control against the deep state. They may publicly acknowledge it; they may bury it. But the aftermath will speak for itself. In the days immediately following his surrender or “death,” watch the information floodgates burst wide open…especially involving U.S. elections. The timing will be surgical. The disclosures will be coordinated. And the narrative collapse will be unmistakable. Zelensky’s Sacked Top Aide ‘Escapes’ To Front-Line To ‘Hide’ From Corruption Investigators  Andriy Yermak, the man who until just over 24 hours ago was Zelensky’s right hand man and the president’s top most powerful aid as chief of staff, and Ukraine’s appointed chief negotiator with the US on the peace process, is going to the front lines, apparently to “fight”. After his home and offices were raided by Ukraine’s anti-corruption investigators Friday related to the ongoing massive energy sector kickback scandal, Yermak announced by text message to The New York Post, “I'm going to the front and am prepared for any reprisals.” He followed with, “I am an honest and decent person.”  According to the lengthy analysis [emphasis ZH]:  Zelensky's fixer, enforcer, gatekeeper, and indispensable ally, isn't a “corruption scandal.” It's Washington slapping the table. NABU, the U.S.-trained attack dog of Ukrainian politics, didn't raid the Presidential Office by accident.It raided to remind Zelensky that the war isn't his to command, the peace process isn't his to veto, and the leash around Bankova Street is held in Washington, not Kiev and certainly not European chihuahuas. Because the real story isn't Yermak's resignation. The real story is the West turning on itself over how to end a war Russia has already won.      Source: thegatewaypundit.com Ukrainian Delegation Arrives in the US To Meet Secretary Rubio, Witkoff and Kushner for Peace Talks  Kiev regime leader Volodymyr Zelensky announced Saturday (29) that a peace talks delegation was on its way to the United States. The Ukrainian team, now headed by former Defense Minister and Security Council Secretary Rustem Umerov, will continue talks today (30) on an agreement to end the war with Russia. Zelensky expects that these talks, to be held tomorrow (30) to develop upon the previous meeting in Geneva. “U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio, special envoy Steve Witkoff and U.S. President Donald Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner will meet Ukrainian officials on Sunday in Florida, a senior U.S. official told Reuters.” Source: thegatewaypundit.com https://twitter.com/MZHemingway/status/1994835005357576325?s=20 https://twitter.com/WarClandestine/status/1994938711729938444?s=20 Medical/False Flags https://twitter.com/ImMeme0/status/1994907732890325212?s=20   let millions of illegal aliens pour into the country? But sure, keep acting like Americans are too stupid to notice what's actually going on. You really think people are that dumb, don't you? https://twitter.com/BretWeinstein/status/1994904606913302874?s=20  medicine, the debut of a lethal new vaccine platform, shredding of the First Amendment, and robotic pens used to brazenly pardon criminal masterminds—all lurk just below the surface. Thanks to @VPrasadMDMPH for stepping up.    win the Midterm Elections in RECORD NUMBERS. I AM THE AFFORDABILITY PRESIDENT. TALK LOUDLY AND PROUDLY! President DJT https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1994939951293895094?s=20 [DS] Agenda  President Trump's Plan https://twitter.com/julie_kelly2/status/1994543710437007421?s=20   DC) is the basis of the contempt investigation. Kash Patel says all contents of FBI Trump-Russia burn bags will be made public FBI Director Kash Patel says the contents of the burn bags containing Trump-Russia documents discovered at the FBI building will be made public one way or another. “You're going to see everything we found in that room in one way or another, be it through investigation, public trial, or disclosure to the Congress,” Patel told The Epoch Times in an interview with reporter Jan Jekielek that will air Saturday. The bureau said that the classified information was stashed away in a room at FBI Headquarters and was related to Crossfire Hurricane and also other FBI inquiries into President Donald Trump and his allies. Patel previously said that the FBI had found “several bags” containing evidence related to the Russiagate investigation. One electronic communication made public by the Justice Department in court filings related to the prosecution of former FBI Director James Comey earlier this month indicated the FBI began a preliminary investigation into the discovery this summer. Source: justthenews.com https://twitter.com/EricLDaugh/status/1994913285259272493?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1994913285259272493%7Ctwgr%5Ef8c44fa6520e3b2f5c1b1f5de5158fa619710e1c%7Ctwcon%5Es1_c10&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fredstate.com%2Fnick-arama%2F2025%2F11%2F29%2Fpass-the-popcorn-kash-patel-has-intriguing-news-about-comey-case-and-those-burn-bags-n2196663   tuned for right after Thanksgiving. And you’ll see multiple responses…” @FBIDirectorKash https://twitter.com/RonDeSantis/status/1994967913636528531?s=20 https://twitter.com/MarioNawfal/status/1994582862176149809?s=20  fundraisers. Limiting events. Stage-managing appearances. Reducing his workload. Avoiding interviews. Even recruiting Hollywood directors Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenberg to help with the State of the Union. They controlled everything, including who could see him. This wasn’t a presidency. It was a production. The 91-page committee report found Biden’s “inner circle” took steps to “meticulously stage-manage” his public appearances, lighten his private workload, and block lawmakers from talking to him directly. Three key aides took the Fifth Amendment when questioned, including White House physician Dr. Kevin O’Connor, who refused to answer: “Were you ever told to lie about the president’s health?” Former Chief of Staff Jeff Zients admitted under oath he didn’t even know who operated the autopen that signed approximately 92% of Biden’s documents. Trump has now declared all autopen-signed executive actions “NULL AND VOID” and threatened Biden with perjury charges if he claims he authorized them. The same people who called you a conspiracy theorist for questioning Biden’s fitness were stage-managing his every movement. They knew. They all knew. And they lied to your face for four years. TIMESTAMPS: 0:22 – Panicked Donor Calls Chief of Staff Immediately After Biden Fundraiser 1:33 – Zients Confession: “Age is the Most Difficult Issue” 2:37 – Why Spielberg and Katzenberg Were Secretly Brought In 5:30 – The Makeup and “Discipline” Strategy to Hide Biden’s Decline 7:05 – The Real Reason Biden Dodged Super Bowl Interview 9:58 – Staff Ordered to Reduce His Steps After Multiple Falls Source:   directly signed by Crooked Joe Biden, because the people who operated the Autopen did so illegally. Joe Biden was not involved in the Autopen process and, if he says he was, he will be brought up on charges of perjury. Thank you for your attention to this matter! https://twitter.com/JoeLang51440671/status/1994860387108340010?s=20 (function(w,d,s,i){w.ldAdInit=w.ldAdInit||[];w.ldAdInit.push({slot:13499335648425062,size:[0, 0],id:"ld-7164-1323"});if(!d.getElementById(i)){var j=d.createElement(s),p=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0];j.async=true;j.src="//cdn2.customads.co/_js/ajs.js";j.id=i;p.parentNode.insertBefore(j,p);}})(window,document,"script","ld-ajs");

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