Two Douchebags and a Microphone

Two Douchebags and a Microphone

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topic driven format with odd news stories, regular features and skits. kind of a morning show vibe with more raunchy humor because it's not governed by the FCC! please give us a listen and give us input at doucheb66@yahoo.com.

Mark Wallace and Christopher P Kemner


    • Jun 16, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekdays NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 17m AVG DURATION
    • 517 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Two Douchebags and a Microphone

    Rob runs an electric can opener over Mark's scrotum

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 16, 2025 83:26 Transcription Available


    Mark gets his scrotum tangled in an electric can opener thanks to Rob

    Mark slaps Rob in the groin with a electric bug zapper tennis racket

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 12, 2025 86:47 Transcription Available


    rob get smashed in the groin with an electric bug zapping paddle. Mark was seen running off laughing.

    Mark throws a cup of urine at Rob but it splashes all over his face

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 9, 2025 85:34


    Mark gets urine splashed on him try to throw it at Rob

    Creeps talk music with up to date music news

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 7, 2025 122:29 Transcription Available


    music talk and news from the creeps

    sports talk and news from the bastards

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2025 64:01 Transcription Available


    sports news and talk form two bastards

    Mark tangles Rob's kite in a tree, Rob smacks Mark in the junk with a crowbar

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2025 70:55 Transcription Available


    Mark runs screaming because Rob is smacking him in the nuts with a crowbar. Mark might've wrapped Rob's kite in a tree on purpose.

    Mark makes aardvark noises for an up coming sound file, he found out that he actually made giraffe noises by acident

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 2, 2025 91:04 Transcription Available


    Mark makes aardvark noises trying to be funny, a herd of giraffes trampled him, it was a charge noise he made by accident. He is in a body cast currently.

    Rob gets a sandwich laced with pigeon guts

    Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2025 95:39 Transcription Available


    Rob doesn't like squab

    mark lets Rob walk in to a tree when he's blindfolded searching for a pinata

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2025 108:56 Transcription Available


    Rob is fooled and walk in to a tree blindfolded, he was looking for a pinata that didn't exist

    Rob is blindfolded and taste tests tree bark, he has to figure the tree from eating the bark. crazy fun

    Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2025 93:58 Transcription Available


    Rob is blindfolded for a tree bark taste test. he has to name the tree from the bark he ate. If he fails he will have his big toe sledge hammered.

    Rob does his high wire stunt he has practiced on for 12 years, it didn't end well.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2025 89:04 Transcription Available


    Rob long awaited highwire stunt finally happens, it didn't end well.........

    greatest sports show episode ever!!! listen to pure gold, NOW

    Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2025 107:14 Transcription Available


    Greatest sports show episode EVER!!

    another horrible edition of the music creeps. eat it up suckas

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2025 68:00 Transcription Available


    chew on this bag of garbage....music creeps are here

    six hours of entertainment in an hour and a half. Don't let this benchmark in podcast entertainment go without downloading it NOW!

    Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2025 90:57 Transcription Available


    Six hours of shocking, raw, loud entertainment crammed in an hour and a half! Don't miss out. Download it NOW!!

    Rob has a pet pet twig named willy

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2025 110:14 Transcription Available


    Rob loves his pet twig willy

    creepy music talk

    Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2025 82:13 Transcription Available


    creeps mouthing off about music

    sports talk from bastards

    Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2025 76:31 Transcription Available


    two bastard and a microphone

    mark is back from vacay, means more douchebaggery

    Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2025 99:41 Transcription Available


    Mark's vacay is over so here's more douchebaggery

    The Music Creeps Go Cruising- well, Mark does anyway

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2025 43:12 Transcription Available


    Topher is still holed up in the coffee shop while Mark and his trophy wife live it up on the high seas. The boat's wi-fi makes a move.

    Special International Edition of The Sports Bastards

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2025 73:17 Transcription Available


    Topher is at a coffee shop, Mark is on a boat with iffy wi-fi.

    Mark tries to catch mice with a pair of tongs

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2025 85:34


    mark accidentally grabbed rob's sack with tongs while trying to catch a mouse

    music talk from the creeps

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2025 78:11 Transcription Available


    creepy music talk

    NFL talk from the bastards!

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 26, 2025 73:41 Transcription Available


    NFL info and other garbage from the bastards!

    rob makes doughnuts out of cheerio's

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2025 87:43 Transcription Available


    Rob's cheerios have frosting on them, they're still gross.

    Mark ties Rob's stick art to his jeeps bumper and destroys it. Rob lights Mark's ass hair on fire

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2025 89:19


    Mark's ass hairs mysteriously catch fire after destroys Rob's stick figure art.

    Rob gets his penis bit by a parakeet

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 16, 2025 87:56 Transcription Available


    Rob has to pry a parakeet's beak of his penis.

    Rob argues with a turtle

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2025 88:38 Transcription Available


    Rob had a turtle snap him on the nose, he still kept arguing with the turtle.

    music talk from the creeps

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2025 66:03 Transcription Available


    creepy music show.

    Mark puts flakes of rust in robs ice tea

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2025 106:20 Transcription Available


    robs ice tea tastes like rust flakes

    Sports talk from two bastards

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2025 77:18 Transcription Available


    two bastards talk sports

    Mark buys a pet cockroach from Rob.

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2025 85:25


    Rob sells Mark a cockroach that the picked up in a corner.

    creeps discussing music news

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2025 74:30 Transcription Available


    music news and facts from two creeps

    Rob's fishing lures look just like metal forks

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2025 100:56 Transcription Available


    Rob bends forks trying to make homemade fishing lures, it doesn't work.

    music talk from your favorite creeps

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 3, 2025 59:34 Transcription Available


    music talk from the creeps

    sports from the bastards

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 2, 2025 94:25 Transcription Available


    sports talk from two bastards

    Mark throws sewage at Rob

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2025 89:35 Transcription Available


    Rob stomps on mark's groin area

    more music talk from the creeps

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2025 110:21


    music talk from the creeps

    Rob sells old socks to buy a hamster

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2025 94:19 Transcription Available


    rob buys a hamster with old socks money

    brand new sports bastards yay

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2025 99:57 Transcription Available


    yup you read it here first, new sports bastards!

    Mark and rob have several topics and pretty much crap

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 24, 2025 93:12 Transcription Available


    crap and stuff

    Mark is a bullshit magnet, more of his barrage of shit. Rob has some comments on current events, mark has some odd facts plus more

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 19, 2025 85:09 Transcription Available


    Rob has commentary on news articles and Mark has more bullshit that was dumped on him.

    discussion on the sad state of modern corporate radio, mark is injured again plus odd stories comical bits.

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 18, 2025 83:20


    discussion on the state of modern corporate radio, mark is injured again plus odd stories and comical pieces.

    Mark looks for super powers after being shocked by jabbing a fork in a toaster

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2025 89:45


    Rob is convinced he has super powers after being bitten by a termite

    Rob tears off marks big toenail. the bastard

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 11, 2025 70:31


    Rob eats marks big toenail as a joke.

    music creeps talk music and other assorted bullshit

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2025 112:04


    Creeps talking music and other random bullshit

    yay a brand new douchebags...........

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2025 84:17


    yay a brand new douchebags.......................................

    NFL talk from the idiots

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 4, 2025 93:00


    Idiots talking NFL

    Rob invents a new dance called the tumble

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 4, 2025 44:52


    mark tries out Rob's new dance the tumble.

    Rob likes to stagger his pancake stack, he thinks it makes more pancakes

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2025 82:38


    Mark stomps Rob's maple syrup, Rob screams so loud Mark cries.

    NFL talk from the bastards

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2025 59:16


    NFL talk from the bastards

    Rob puts icy hot on mark's ass crack

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 26, 2025 92:33


    mark screams in pain after Rob puts icy hot on his ass crack

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