Families Matter Workshop

This episode is the first in the series on Family Goals and Parenting Styles called Stairway to Change. During this episode you hear Chris and Allie tell how past trauma manifested itself in perfectionism within the family. They describe what this type of dysfunction looked like in their family: placating to have peace at all cost. They then provide the steps taken to change the the dysfunction and what breaking that cycle looks like.

In this episode we look at the ways that we use performance plus others opinions of us to define our worthiness. We discuss how we earn our value by performing in the world, in religious settings, and compare it to living out of the Kingdom of God. We offer the tool of choosing to believe "What is Most True" to heal our family belief system so that we can live out of the Kingdom of God.

In this episode we talk about authoritarian verses permissive parenting styles. We discuss the pros and long term ramifications of each and how they affect family dynamics.. Gentle parenting, the newest trend in parenting, is discussed as a possibe balance between the two extremes.. We compare each parenting philosophy and discuss how they fulfill Biblical teaching and how misinterpretation of scripture is used to justify dysfuntional family dynamics.

In this episode we talk about how love is made complete through connection with others. We discuss how past rejections keep us from risking connection and thus affect our mental health. We offer suggestions of how to overcome hinderances to connecting and provide tools to root our identity in Christ when we are not understood, validated, nor accepted.

In this episode we discuss the importance of healthy communication within our relationships. We take a look at our own communication styles and the impact our choices may have on our relationships. We caution listeners that this is a time of self reflection, and not a time to blame others. The ability to control oneself during hard conversations, as well as being aware of tone and body language, will lead to good overall communication. This episode is an introduction and we will dive deeper into the concepts behind dysfunctional communication in the coming weeks.

In this episode we discuss the four main types of communication beliefs: pacifier, blamer, logical, and distracted. We discover the underlying cause of these beliefs and provide tools to become more effective communicators. We discuss how utilizing these tools changed our relationships with ourselves and with others.

This week we discuss interrupting, speaking in code, and the don't talk rule. We will evaluate why these patterns are chosen, and their effects on dysfunctional communication. Tools are provided to empower positive communication.

Trigger Warning: In this episode, we discuss sexual abuse and sexual assault as it pertains to gaslighting. People in their healing journey might not be ready to listen to the content of this episode. In this episode we discuss gaslighting. First, we dive into intentional gaslighting and its relationship with abuse. Then we explore unintentional gaslighting and the consequences it can have on relationships. We end the episode discussing the dysfunctional communication pattern stuffing and rage manipulation. Tools are provided for each dysfunctional communication pattern as a way to heal family relationships.

This episode is all about triangle relationships. Do you ever find yourself in the middle of two people's relationships? We have too! We discuss how being the "middle man" leads to disconnection, manipulation, and overall family dysfunction. We share our own experiences in triangle relationships and provide tools in how we overcame these struggles. Participate in the family map activity to uncover triangle relationships in your own life.

In this episode we explore the necessity of boundaries. Boundaries are important for all relationships. We need them in order to protect ourselves and others. But what should we do if someone crosses them? Listen as we discuss benefits and consequences of boundaries, and provide tools for establishing boundaries in your family relationships.

In this episode we discuss our journey to becoming safe people. Relationships are messy, and ours is no exception. We dicuss generational trauma from emotional abuse regarding eating and weight managment. Although intentions were helpful, we share the hurt and impact it had long-term. This is the messiest part of our relationships, and in an effort of full transparency we share the hard parts, the hard truths, and most importantly the hard road to saving and healing our relationship.

This week's workshop is all about a real apology. Part of becoming a safe person within your relationships is owning your actions, words, and feelings. A step we had to make within our own relationships was taking ownership for our past mistakes. Although apologizing can be hard, we break down the steps it takes to make an apology stick. For us, a real apology ultimately lead to inner peace and healing within our family. Listen as we discuss how important this step was for our relationship.