Podcasts about boundaries

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  • 11,382PODCASTS
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Best podcasts about boundaries

Show all podcasts related to boundaries

Latest podcast episodes about boundaries

Mojo In The Morning
Mike Needs Boundaries

Mojo In The Morning

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2022 7:26


Freelance Writing Coach
Everything client boundaries! Creating them and upholding them

Freelance Writing Coach

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2022 25:40


Are your clients texting you in the middle of the night? Do they expect instant responses on Slack? Do they want you to deliver a draft within 24 hours or hop on a call right now? AHHHH. You became a freelancer so you wouldn't be beholden to a boss, but it feels like your clients are owning you. We know the feeling, and it's one that can be solved with good boundaries. In this episode, we cover everything client boundaries. We discuss how to create them and uphold them so you can take back control of your business (and your life!).

Moonbeaming
The Necessary Void

Moonbeaming

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2022 12:47


This week Sarah gets vulnerable and shares about the changes impacting her life. Doesn't it feel like we are all in flux right now? Sarah challenges us to embrace the in between and not let uncertainty weigh down our transitions. Breathwork for Boundaries with Susan Ateh.The Conscious Compass: How to Use Life (or Tarot) as a Tool of Divination with Sanyu Estelle.Visit our shop for more June workshops. Order the 2022 Many Moons Planner here.Sign up for our newsletter.Support our Patreon here. Follow Sarah on Instagram. Buy The Moon BookVisit our shop. 

ShrinkChicks
Setting Emotional Boundaries

ShrinkChicks

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2022 40:08


This week on ShrinkChicks, Emmalee and Jen are talking all about emotional boundaries, starting off by defining emotional boundaries and where to begin when setting them. They discuss separating our emotions from others' emotions, how to recognize when you need to do so, and the importance of tone and context. Emmalee and Jen answer your questions like: how to set emotional boundaries when working in a helping field, the concern about coming off as rude or demanding, how to set boundaries when you're scared of hurting others, the fine line between feeling your feelings and setting boundaries around them, plus a Dear Em & Jen about sexuality changing later in life. Tune in to gain insight, awareness, and action! The book mentioned in today's episode: The Whole-Brain Child https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Brain-Child-Revolutionary-Strategies-Developing/dp/0553386697 Never miss an episode of ShrinkChicks on YouTube by subscribing here! https://youtube.com/channel/UCrxuhDqoL4ML3UE8b2J2BBg Thanks to this week's sponsors for supporting ShrinkChicks! We have these exclusive offers for our listeners: Nuuly: Get $10 off your first month of Nuuly when you sign up with our code: SHRINK10 at nuuly.com   Coterie: Get 20% off your order plus FREE shipping when you go to coterie.com/shrink Truebill: Truebill is the new app that helps you identify and stop paying for subscriptions you don't need, want, or simply forgot about. Go to truebill.com/shrinkchicks to start canceling today - it could save you thousands a year! Dipsea: Sign up for an extended 30 day FREE trial when you go to dipseastories.com/shrink  ZocDoc: Go to zocdoc.com/shrink and download the ZocDoc app to sign-up for FREE and book a top-rated doctor. Many are available as soon as today! Shopify: Go to shopify.com/shrinkchicks for a FREE fourteen-day trial and get full access to Shopify's entire suite of features!

Beyond the Ordinary
Nims Purja – The Nepalese mountaineer who breaks boundaries for a living

Beyond the Ordinary

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2022 17:12


Nepal-born Nirmal ‘Nims' Purja is the first Gurkha to serve in the United Kingdom Special Forces. After 10 years of service he decided to give everything up to climb all the world's 14 peaks over 8,000m in seven months – the last person who achieved the feat took seven years. Hear his story, in his own words, about his humble beginnings and his big dreams.This long read from RedBull.com is written and read by Josh Sampiero.Make sure you hit follow to be the first to hear the latest episodes. Discover more about Beyond the Ordinary at redbull.com/beyondtheordinary.

Chasing Alignment
Protecting Your Space

Chasing Alignment

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2022 11:43


You can't pour from an empty cup, friends. You deserve to check in on yourself & listen to your body & mind around if you have the capacity to hold more. You should never feel guilty for taking care of yourself. 

The Codependummy Podcast
Codependent + Emotionally Unavailable = Love? How Codependents Are Emotionally Unavailable Too with Kim Bielak, AMFT

The Codependummy Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2022 47:21


-How, despite our “giving” exteriors, are codependents emotionally unavailable in relationships? -When we codependents keep doing things for others, especially our partners, what are the consequences? (i.e., we rob them of their autonomy, create conditional love, etc.) -Why we need to ask: what is the relationship I want to be in INSTEAD OF who we want our partner to be? Thanks for tuning in! This week, I sat down with Kim Bielak, AMFT, to talk about codependency in couples. Kim shares with us about the familiar pattern of couples including one codependent partner and one “emotionally unavailable” partner–but we discuss how codependents are indeed emotionally unavailable too! We discuss how codependents are emotionally unavailable to themselves–so how can they ever truly be emotionally present for others? Kim describes how she works with couples to help them cultivate a relationship with themselves as individuals to then strengthen their relationship as partners. We end with some specific tips for you to integrate in your own life to improve your relationship with yourself. It's a must-listen! Thanks for your support! Helpful links: www.codependummy.com www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing JOIN OUR MAILING LIST FOR ALL THINGS CODEPENDUMMY: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497  Make a donation to support the show: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC  More on this episode's guest: Kim Bielak is an Associate Marriage & Family therapist in Los Angeles, California, currently supervised by Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Chris Tickner. Kim works with both individuals and couples through a highly integrative, holistic, and mindfulness-centered approach to helps clients slow down, relax their grip, and use curiosity and openness to explore the patterns that are currently holding them back. Kim has spent time as a former yoga teacher and life, career, and executive coach, all of which have contributed to additional perspectives from places like somatic psychology and positive psychology she brings into her work. You can following Kim on Instagram at @kimbielak or visit her website and sign up for her newsletter at kimbielak.com. More deets on this episode: We hear about Kim's perspective on the term codependency, which she emphasizes likely was an “adaptive” way to interact with others in the past. Wow! Kim shares about codependency in her own life, including her romantic relationships where she tended to find emotionally unavailable partners…but maybe she was emotionally unavailable too! Kim reflects on how she contributed to the unhealthy patterns in her relationship which hopefully helps you see how you too may be covertly avoiding intimacy with others by being so overly-focused on them.  We discuss the ways that Kim works with codependency in the couples she works with. She begins with boundaries, education, and acceptance. “If we enter into a relationship with someone, we have to accept them as they are. We can't create conditions to earn love.” Amen! Kim describes some suggestions she has for those who have codependent tendencies. First, practice self-compassion. From there, we focus on building our relationship with ourselves and developing our own social lives/hobbies/ways we want to spend our time. Kim concludes by emphasizing how, instead of thinking of the “person” we want to be with, we need to ask ourselves: What is the relationship I want to be in? It's important to ask this instead of thinking of “who” we want to be with.  It's a must-listen! Thanks for coming on Kim! Questions for you: What came up as you heard Kim's definition of codependency? How do you relate to Kim's examples of her codependency? What aspects of your codependency were you reminded of? How do you sense your codependency shows up in your relationship if you are part of a couple? When you keep doing things for others, what do you sense you are communicating to them?  Where can you bring in more self-compassion in your life? What is the relationship you want to be in? With yourself, with friends, with a partner, etc.? Thank you for listening! Helpful links: www.codependummy.com www.codependummy.com/toolsforhealing marissa@codependummy.com JOIN OUR MAILING LIST FOR ALL THINGS CODEPENDUMMY: https://keap.app/contact-us/2302598426037497  Make a donation to support the show: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=RJ3PSNZ4AF7QC  https://linktr.ee/codependummy

Thrifters Villa
Season 3 Episode 21: How To Create Boundaries Within Your Reselling Business

Thrifters Villa

Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2022 38:06


Boundaries...what's that?! Join us this week as we discuss the importance of creating boundaries within your reselling business. This includes taking time away (we know this is really hard!), creating schedules or structure to your day, staying off social media, and so much more! We will see you at the table! Sign up for our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/thriftersvilla Want to support Thrifters Villa without a monthly reoccurring fee? Buy us a coffee! https://www.buymeacoffee.com/thriftersvilla Jenn's Poshmark Closet: https://poshmark.com/closet/savvyoutfitter Daniela's Poshmark Closet: https://poshmark.com/closet/ivynblush Follow us on Instagram: Daniela: https://www.instagram.com/ivynblush Jenn: https://www.instagram.com/thesavvyoutfitter/ Thrifters Villa: https://www.instagram.com/thriftersvilla --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/thriftersvilla/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/thriftersvilla/support

Positively Unlimited Podcast

There is truth and then there is your version of the truth. But, your version of the truth can be sometimes problematic because a lot of times it is convenient, it's based on your beliefs and many of your beliefs can be faulty!Tune into the episode ' In your Head' as Chetna is here to tell you to realign the stories you are telling yourself.Listen to all previous episodes here: Say No To DramaLearn more about the Circle of Positivity here: (http://circleofpositivity.com/wp/ )Get in touch with our host Chetna on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/positivityangel )You can listen to this show and other incredible shows on the new and improved IVM Podcast App on Android: IVM Podcasts https://ivm.today/android or iOS: ‎IVM Podcasts https://ivm.today/iosYou can check out our website at http://www.ivmpodcasts.com

SHINE with Kendéll Lenice
Episode 174 - Family Family Family:The Best and Unhealed

SHINE with Kendéll Lenice

Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2022 45:13


Family Family Family:The Best and Unhealed. Through honesty is how we heal. Many families have difficulties communicating, loving and setting boundaries. Let's talk about that and more.Kendell LeniceCertified Life Coach@kendellleniceLivingtruelivingyou.com

Psychoanalysis On and Off the Couch
The Psychoanalytic Consultant with Glen Gabbard, MD (Houston)

Psychoanalysis On and Off the Couch

Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2022 51:35


"The role that an analyst plays is so important in terms of how people can be wounded, shamed and hurt in a variety of different ways. We need to be very thoughtful about our own residual psychopathology because no analyst is perfectly analyzed. It's a lifelong stretch that we are going through to try to figure out what is bothering us with a particular patient."    Episode Description: We begin by describing the nature of feeling 'stuck' in a clinical situation. We consider the contributions from both sides of the couch and the role that internal and actual consultants can play in reintroducing an analyzing perspective on an encounter. Glen presents composite examples of colleagues who came to him for consultation especially around difficulties with sexual boundaries with patients. He has noted the hunger for love and loneliness as common themes in these analysts' lives. We discuss changes in our field regarding the focus on symptoms and the use of Zoom and we conclude with a discussion of what he feels is a more nuanced understanding of the termination process.    Our Guest: Glen Gabbard, MD is a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston and a training and supervising analyst at the Center for Psychoanalytic Studies in Houston. He is the author or editor of 29 books, including Love and Hate in the Analytic Setting, Textbook of Psychoanalysis, Boundaries and Boundary Violations, and The Psychology of the Sopranos. He is also the author of 365 scientific papers. He was awarded the Sigourney Award in 2000 and received the Lifetime Achievement Award from Sapienza University in Rome in 2021. From 2001-to 2007 he was Joint Editor-Chief of the International Journal of Psychoanalysis.    Recommended Readings:  Gabbard GO: The “dragons of primeval days”: Termination and the persistence of the infantile. International Journal of Psychoanalysis. 2021    Gabbard GO: The analyst and the virus. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association 68, 1089-1099, 2021    2017—Sexual boundary violations in psychoanalysis: a 30-year retrospective. Psychoanalytic Psychology 34: 151-156. (Gabbard GO)    2010—The lure of the symptom in psychoanalytic treatment. JAPA 58:533-544 (Ogden TH & Gabbard GO)    2009—On Becoming a Psychoanalyst. International Journal of Psychoanalysis 90:311-327 (Gabbard GO, Ogden TH)    2003- Gabbard GO: Miscarriages of psychoanalytic treatment with suicidal patients. International Journal of Psychoanalysis 84:249-261 

The How To Win Podcast with Mike Moore
Episode 182: Dating Intelligence Part Four - Boundaries

The How To Win Podcast with Mike Moore

Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2022 37:56


Join us as we continue the series titled Dating Intelligence. In part four, Mike Moore will be teaching from the area of boundaries in relationships. In this lesson, Mike will gives practical things to do to keep yourself from moving too fast in any relationship.

Ghost of a Podcast
260: Boundaries for Introverts + Horoscope

Ghost of a Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2022 120:21


At 71, Kat is at a crossroads: should she allow herself to go deep into her introverted nature or challenge herself to cultivate close relationships? In your horoscope this week, Jessica touches on the consequential Pluto Return again! Your Mercury retrograde week is filled with sextiles and an intense square between relational Venus and transformational Pluto.

My Steps to Sobriety
10in10 Marcy Pusey Words can create strong young people or Cause Mental Health Problems in Adults

My Steps to Sobriety

Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2022 19:59


Marcy is mama to four humans and two pups, but she's also tossed pizzas for a pizzeria, acted in a musical, and appeared in a few movies. Marcy is also a Certified Rehabilitation Counselor and Certified Trauma and Resilience Practitioner, international 2x TEDx speaker, Story Coach, publishing consultant, and an award-winning author of books for adults and for children. She does her best writing on retreats with a nearby hot tub, in any castle, or within view of the sea. You can visit her at marcypusey.com  1. You are worthy of being valued, loved, and safe 2. You hold that intrinsic worth and value 3. Your value comes from you 4. You are more than your traumatic experiences 5. Every story matters 6. There is always hope 7. Not all therapy is equal 8. Boundaries are loving 9. What is my purpose? What is my vision?  10. May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears

The Honestly Adoption Podcast
Why Won't My Child Respect My Boundaries?

The Honestly Adoption Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2022 39:51


It's possible that because of your child's trauma history, and the impact that has had on his or her brain, they simply can't follow simple guidelines, or adhere to boundaries. Hard to believe, but it's true. 

Haymarket Books Live
Intimate Partner Violence and Abolitionist Safety Planning

Haymarket Books Live

Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2022 112:25


Join us for a lively exploration of the concept of "abolitionist safety planning" and supporting survivors from feminists and abolitionists. In situations of domestic violence, survival can become criminalized in unexpected and chilling ways. However, because isolation is a central strategy of abuse, many survivors lack the community and resources needed to find support for both the violence as well as the risks of criminalization. What can concrete support for intimate partner violence survivors look like from a prison abolitionist perspective? What can it look like in practice to support survivors while being acutely aware of both the dangers of abuse and the overwhelming violence of the criminal legal system? Join us for a lively exploration of the concept of "abolitionist safety planning" from feminists and abolitionists, who will share their experiences, challenges, and lessons learned from supporting survivors in situations of active and ongoing violence. Speakers: Mariame Kaba (moderator) is an organizer, educator, curator, and prison industrial complex (PIC) abolitionist who is active in movements for racial, gender, and transformative justice. Kaba is the founder and director of Project NIA, a grassroots abolitionist organization with a vision to end youth incarceration. Mariame is currently a researcher at Interrupting Criminalization, a project she co-founded with Andrea Ritchie in 2018. Kaba is the author of We Do This Til We Free Us: Abolitionist Organizing and Transforming Justice, Missing Daddy, See You Soon and Fumbling Towards Repair: A Workbook for Community Accountability Facilitators with Shira Hassan. Aracelia Aguilar (she/her) is one of the Empowerment Directors at DeafHope, providing direct services to Deaf DV/SV survivors. DeafHope recognizes the system barriers and institutional oppressions Deaf survivors navigate through to get to safety, and Aracelia's advocacy strongly focuses on putting the survivor at the center of the work. Aracelia has also received training under Sujatha Baliga and Mimi Kim to incorporate Restorative and Transformative Justice into the work of DeafHope. Aracelia provides Teen Dating Violence, Consent & Boundaries, and Sexual Violence presentations for Deaf teens at High Schools all over the Bay Area. Rachel Caidor (she/her) has spent over 25 years providing direct service and organizational support to rape crisis and domestic violence survior support agencies in Chicago. She is a member of Love and Protect and supports the work of the Chicago Community Bond Fund. Shira Hassan (she/her) is the founder, co-creator and principal consultant for Just Practice, a capacity building project for organizations and community members, activists and leaders working at the intersection of transformative justice, harm reduction and collective liberation. She is the former executive director of the Young Women's Empowerment Project, an organizing and grassroots movement building project led by and for young people of color that have current or former experience in the sex trade and street economies. Hyejin Shim (she/her) is a Building Community Power Fellow at Community Justice Exchange. She has over a decade's experience in supporting survivors of domestic and sexual violence, particularly immigrant, refugee, and criminalized survivors of abuse. Hyejin is a co-founder of Survived and Punished, a national organization dedicated to supporting criminalized and incarcerated survivors of gender-based violence. This event is sponsored by Community Justice Exchange, Survived and Punished, Interrupting Criminalization, and Haymarket Books. https://www.communityjusticeexchange.org https://survivedandpunished.org https://www.interruptingcriminalization.com Watch the live event recording: https://youtu.be/QEVuJuBrj5A Buy books from Haymarket: www.haymarketbooks.org Follow us on Soundcloud: soundcloud.com/haymarketbooks

Be That Girl
Setting Boundaries: Let's Talk About It

Be That Girl

Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2022 18:21


Boundaries are hard. Why are they important? Why are they so hard to set? How do you set them? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/kaitlyn-unland/support

Nobody Told Me!
Nedra Glover Tawwab: ...that it's okay to have boundaries

Nobody Told Me!

Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2022 29:30


Have you ever wished you could set healthier boundaries with your family, friends, co-workers and others in your life? Do you feel your mental health has suffered because of a lack of healthy boundaries in various aspects of your life? If so, you'll get some great suggestions from our guest on this episode, relationship therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of the new book, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself. ****** Thanks to our sponsor of this episode! --> AirMedCare Network: AirMedCare Network provides world-class air transport services to the nearest, appropriate hospital or trauma center. AMCN Members have the added value of knowing their flight expenses are completely covered when flown by an AMCN provider. For as little as $85 a year, it covers your entire household, every day, 24/7, even when traveling. AMCN is the largest medical air transport membership in the country, covering 38 states. For just pennies a day, you can worry less about what matters most. This is security no family should be without. Now, as a Nobody Told Me! listener, you'll get up to a $50 eGift Card when you join. Visit www.airmedcarenetwork.com/nobody and use the offer code NOBODY. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Birth Experience with Labor Nurse Mama
How to Set Birth and Motherhood Boundaries: Learn to Say No

The Birth Experience with Labor Nurse Mama

Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2022 49:12


"I was a yes girl and part of me, and have to fight against that side of you. There's going to be the yes girl, I got to do this for other people! When you're pregnant, you'll start Noticing, how you feel. And things like: I don't like when they make that comment, I don't like when they invite themselves over or you're going to start noticing ways people push past your boundaries. And I think now is the time, to communicate how you feel about what's going on. We get a lot of questions about in-laws or just showing up at the house and I don't really feel comfortable about that. So how do I handle that? So, the main thing I always say. Try communication first, be upfront with them about what is going to work for you. Because I think when we don't communicate and we just assume they know that's when problems start to happen, or we start to fester and we start to hold on to anger, like, oh, are they still doing it? But if we never told them, They might not know. If boundaries are not respected, once you set that line, you need to limit your time with certain people." Christa Oh man, Today's guest was exactly what I needed. I hope it is what you need to hear as well. Listen in as we talk about all things pregnancy and boundaries. Resources: https://labornursemama.com/door (Ready to be empowered & Prepared for Birth, Take a Birth Class NOW!) https://labornursemama.com/pregnancy-weekly-update (Grab a Free Pregnancy Checklist Bundle + Weekly Education) Connect w/ Trish: https://www.instagram.com/labor.nurse.mama/ (Come hang with Trish on Instagram) Connect w/Christa: https://www.instagram.com/heysoulchrista/ (@heysoulchrista) https://www.instagram.com/mommyknowsbest/ (@mommyknowsbest) For more pregnancy & birth education, subscribe to The Birth Experience on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. https://labornursemama.com/about-us/privacy-policy/ (Privacy Policy!)

Whine Down with Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin

Is the grass ever “greener” on the other side?? Jana and Kathryn discuss why single people want to be in relationships, and people in relationships want to be single. Listen in to find out where Jana falls in that spectrum!   Jana connects with Maryellen Dance, a licensed mental health counselor, for an honest conversation about the importance of seeing boundaries and what to do when someone crosses a boundary.   Plus, Jana opens up about her struggle with self-worth after enduring lying and infidelity from past relationships. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Wisdom of the Body
086. Heather Grzych on the Beauty of Boundaries

Wisdom of the Body

Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2022 10:44


Listen to author and Ayurvedic practitioner Heather Grzych guide you through a meditation on what to do when things feel like they are speeding up too fast. You'll hear how to pull your energy back into your center, set boundaries and slow things down. Environmental and spatial changes do affect our bodies, and we are all like dynamic puzzle pieces.   Heather Grzych is the author of The Ayurvedic Guide to Fertility and the host of the Wisdom of the Body podcast. A board-certified Ayurvedic practitioner, she teaches the Regenerative Fertility Method to support future generations worldwide. Heather is on the board of directors for the National Ayurvedic Medical Association (NAMA) and has consulted with doctors, governments, and insurance companies. She offers virtual consultations and programs worldwide. www.heathergrzych.com   Connect with Heather: Instagram.com/heathergrzych Facebook.com/grzychheather   Book a connection call to explore the path of surrender with the Regenerative Fertility Method:  https://www.heathergrzych.com/book-online   Join Body Church Mind-Body-Spirit New Moon Fasting Group on Facebook Join the Wisdom of the Body club on Clubhouse.   This podcast is for educational and entertainment purposes only.

The Boundaries.me Podcast
Episode 350 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - A Lack of Follow-Through vs. Over Commitment

The Boundaries.me Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 16:55


In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about follow-through. We all commit ourselves to getting things done. Whether that's helping out a friend, or telling our spouse we'll do something, whatever it may be. When we fail to get those things done, we might think it's because we lacked follow-through. But is that it? A lack of follow-through implies that something could have been done but we failed to execute for some reason. In many instances the issue isn't the follow-through, it's committing to something when it will overstretch our capacities or resources. How much is on your plate? What can come off your plate to open up your availability? Your problem might not be follow-through, but the inability to say no.   Got a narcissist in your life? Tired of the gaslighting and pain that comes from their behavior? We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm Pacific! If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to Boundaries.me/Narcissism. Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://www.boundaries.me

Moxie Podcast
Episode 115 / Skyler Womack - Business + Boundaries.

Moxie Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 33:12


Whether in a lean startup or a business that's been running a while, setting healthy boundaries for the business or your life can be hard.    In today's episode, Jenny and Skyler share their experiences in starting and growing a business while learning how to respect and set boundaries as well.   Mentions Confidant Co School of Ethical Impact® Skyler Womack Instagram   Episode spotlight   Yellow Co is an organization that exists to empower creative women to become agents of good.Yellow Co offers small group support, accountability & community so that you can get out of your head & into creating your most meaningful work.holistic support, accountability & community for your meaningful work   Be sure to connect with yourself, your work and others because no matter where you are on your meaningful work journey, we ALL have something to give and we ALL have something to receive.    Click on the link to get involved and together, let's create meaningful work. Yellow Co ( Guidance groups)

Agent Rise with Neil Mathweg (formally Onion Juice)
7 Ways To Build A Real Estate Career You Love - Part 2 - Episode 354

Agent Rise with Neil Mathweg (formally Onion Juice)

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 20:10


If you're like most agents, you want to build a career you love.  In this episode, we break down 7 ways we have found agents do just that.  This is episode is part 1.  Join us next week for part 2.   Here are the 7 Ways To Build A Real Estate Career You Love: CLEAR PLAN that's CONGRUENT to you, and one that you stay CONSISTENT with. You are FOCUSED, have no shiny object syndrome, and know what to do every single day.  LEADS - Steady stream of leads from 3 pillars, excellent matchmaking system, no commission roller coaster.  SYSTEMS - Anything you do repeatedly needs to be delegated and/or needs to have a system. BOUNDARIES, time off, vacations - able to “shut it off”. No longer people please. The BEST CLIENTS - Ones who respect you and your boundaries and you love working with them.  POSITIVE MINDSET - you love life. Giving, sharing, legacy. Not limiting God's abundance in your life. Dream with the lid off. Resources and Links mentioned in this episode Resources and Links mentioned in this episode: Download the first five chapters of the Agent Rise Book at www.agentrisecoaching.com/book  Join the Agent Rise Facebook Group (free) at www.Facebook.com/groups/agentrise To learn more about coaching, go to www.agentrisecoaching.com And connect with me on ANY of the following social channels. I LOVE social! Instagram (@agentrise) Facebook.com/AGENTRISE YouTube

Shape It Up Over 40 Podcast
Boundaries Are Your Best Friends with special guest Arianna Palumbo

Shape It Up Over 40 Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 31:31


Boundaries are Your Best Friends special guest Arianna Palumbo Today on the Shape It Up Over 40 podcast, I have a special guest and we are talking about: Boundaries are Your Best Friends We are going to dive into: Why boundaries are important, how to figure out what they are how to set them Welcome to the Shape It Up Over 40 podcast! I am your host, Nicole Simonin and I help women over 40 lose weight for the last time. Over the past 20 years, I have developed a weight loss program where there are no pills, no potions, no diets to follow, no insane workouts, no massive cardio…with my background as a professional ballet dancer and teacher, medical degree in Physical Therapy, Personal Trainer and Health Coach …I have boiled weight loss down to doing 3 things….Fueling your body, Moving your body and Managing your mind. Does food call out to you? Does it whisper like a siren calling to you? Are you familiar with the story of sirens calling to pirates? The sirens (mermaids in most stories) would sing or call out to the pirates in an attempt to lure them towards shore and to their death by crashing their ship into the shoreline rocks. I know very dramatic. But this is how I used to feel about doughnuts….white powdered cream-filled donuts! I'd resist then give in…resist some more and then really give in. I don't do that anymore. I have learned how to tame my impulse for cravings and I want to teach it to you inside my Crush Your Cravings Masterclass.. You will … Learn how to break the Resist Cycle… Understand why your cravings keep winning… And how to feel calm and relaxed around tempting foods. Register for virtual Crush Your Cravings Masterclass happening June 1st at 6PM EST  https://shapeitupfitness.com/masterclass/  

Moonbeaming
Worth, Work, and The Future of Magic with Bri Luna, The Hoodwitch

Moonbeaming

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 63:16


Babes, The Hoodwitch is here. Can you believe it? This week Sarah sits down with the legendary Bri Luna to discuss what it was like being one of the first witches with an online presence. Sarah and Bri connect over challenges from business to visibility and dream about what the future of magic looks like. Follow The Hoodwitch on InstagramThe Hoodwitch WebsiteThe Conscious Compass: How to Use Life (or Tarot) as a Tool of Divination with Sanyu EstelleSign up for Better Boundaries: A Workshop Series for Sensitives, Intuitives, Witches, and Business BabesSign up for Tarot Constellations Online Workshop: The Devil and The LoversSign up for Eclipse Season Energy Clearing Cord-Cutting RitualLovers Year Online Workshop DownloadBuy The Moon Book

Beyond the Studio - A Podcast for Artists
Amanda and Nicole talk Boundaries, Burnout, and Shifting Expectations

Beyond the Studio - A Podcast for Artists

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 68:01


Hear more from Amanda and Nicole on Beyond the Studio's “summer break,” resisting the urge to self-sacrifice for their creative work, the real effects of burnout on artists, prioritizing care over hustle, how to be flexible with yourself and your goals, and keeping long-term sustainability in mind when it comes to building a creative life.   Astropad Studio — Podcast sponsor, the ultimate iPad app for artists that turns your iPad into a drawing tablet for your Mac or PC. Start your 30-day free trial of Astropad Studio today via THIS LINK just for Beyond the Studio listeners! Plus, save 10% on your first year when you enter the promo code BEYOND at checkout.   *Please note: Promo code is only valid at astropad.com (not on the App Store)   beyondthe.studio   Listener Spotlight @beyondthestudio    Intro and Ad Music by: Suahn Branding by: David Colson

TRUST & THRIVE with Tara Mont
167: Sex, Periods, & Mental Health - with Dr. Laura Meihofer, Doctor of Physical Therapy

TRUST & THRIVE with Tara Mont

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 40:35


First, I want to acknowledge that with everything happening around abortion rights, one can feel overwhelmed and helpless. I hope you know you're not alone and your body is YOUR body. My body, my damn choice. Now to get into the episode: Laura Meihofer is a Doctor of Physical Therapy who specializes in pelvic health. For over a decade, Laura has worked tirelessly to earn her license, practice patient care, and publish research at the world-renowned Mayo Clinic — and now her private physical therapy practice, Laura Meihofer LLC.Highlighting topics like vibrators, periods, menopause, postpartum, incontinence, pleasure, pain, and so much more, Laura is lifting the lid on formerly taboo topics and demystifying the pelvic floor. Pelvic floor dysfunction is extremely common! And, seeking information or professional help about pelvic floor conditions should not be shameful.Laura's mission is to empower all individuals with pelvic floor concerns through evidence-based resources, movement, and products.In this episode, we discuss the effect of hormones and birth control on one's mental health, period and premenstrual symptoms, sex expectations, pelvic pain, and more.FOLLOW LAURA:INSTA: @laurameihoferWEBSITE: www.laurameihofer.comSTAY CONNECTED:INSTA: @trustandthriveTIKOK:@trustandthriveTWITTER: @trustandthriveFACEBOOK: bit.ly/FBtaramontWEBSITE: www.tara-mont.com EMAIL: tara@tara-mont.com  

Wholistic Hearts: A Mother’s Wholehearted Christian Approach to Spiritual Growth and Transformational Healing
136. Inside The Wholistic Hearts Community: "All About Boundaries" with Life Coach, Whitney Kroneberger

Wholistic Hearts: A Mother’s Wholehearted Christian Approach to Spiritual Growth and Transformational Healing

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 45:10


Have you ever wondered what you gain inside the Wholistic Hearts Community?  Today I wanted to bring you a sneak peak inside our exclusive membership.   Whitney Kroneberger, Christian Life Coach for female entrepreneurs joins us to talk about the importance of boundaries.   We discuss: -The Proverbs 31 woman and how she set an example of how to be clear on your boundaries - What is a boundary? -How do you know when you need to set a boundary? -What to do when you have had someone cross a boundary?    This was just one of the many conversations we have inside the membership. Join today to get access to coaching, acountability, encouragement, and community.   https://wholistic-hearts-community.mn.co/share/evucACsCTEA6l4jV?utm_source=manual

Strong Feelings
Fix Systems, Not Women

Strong Feelings

Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 40:14


What would you do if you found out you were being paid $25,000 less than your peers, and that while they were allowed to work from home, you were expected to show up in person? Kate Rotondo had both happen while working at one of the largest and best-known tech companies in the world, and the experience profoundly changed her relationship to work. Kate joins Sara to tell her story of institutional betrayal—and how it took her from working in code to working in clay.I had to let go of the responsibility of providing for my family. I had to let myself become expensive. I also had to shift my sense of what's important to me from getting my career back and earning that money to reclaiming my time—to becoming rich in something else, if it wasn't going to be career accolades, and it wasn't going to be respect at my job, and it wasn't going to be the money that came from that. I kind of had to shift and think, 'What I'm asking for here at work is to have the same lifestyle as my colleagues.' My colleagues wake up in the morning. They don't drive three hours to get to work…So how do I get that? How do I get the quality of life that the men around me have? How do I regain a sense of entitlement to that time? That I'm entitled to have free time. I'm entitled to have passions.—Kate Rotondo, founder, Equal ClayLinks:Kate RotondoEqual ClayBreak the Good Girl MythIGNITE: Design Your Creative PurposeBlind to BetrayalInstitutional BetrayalActive Voice

The Kyle Thiermann Show
#297 Holding Boundaries & Tricks to De-Escalate - Sara Russell

The Kyle Thiermann Show

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 95:55


Sara Russell (@Betheradicalway) is a Skills For Change Coach and Qi Gong instructor who helps her clients analyze behaviors, relationships, and systems to see where old habits are no longer serving them.Check out Sara's work hereIf you dig this podcast, would you be please leave a short review on Apple Podcasts? It’s takes less than 60 seconds and makes a difference when I drop to my knees and beg hard-to-get guests to come on the show. All of my stuff is on Thiermann.substack.comConnect with me on Instagram | Twitter | YouTubeBrought to you by Santa Cruz Medicinals and RPM Training.RPM Training is a Norcal based active lifestyle brand founded on the idea that legit, purposeful functional training is the foundation of a truly full, adventurous life. I love their workout equipment and use it daily. Use the code KYLETMAN at checkout and get 10% off any order. Santa Cruz Medicinals CBD has supported this podcast from day one. Their founder actually convinced me to start the podcast! They make a range of potent CBD products and my personal favorite is the Peppermint Tincture, which I use most nights before before I go to bed. Use the code KYLE10 at checkout, and get 10% off any order. Sore muscles, be gone!Connect with me on Instagram | Twitter | YouTubeSend voice memos to: info@kyle.surf Get full access to Writing by Kyle Thiermann at thiermann.substack.com/subscribe

Priority Pursuit
058. Three Kinds of Boundaries All Small Business Owners Need to Set & When to Break Them

Priority Pursuit

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 20:08


058. When you're passionate about what you do and who you serve, it can be hard to say “no” and far too easy to fill every minute of every day with something work related.  However, as a small business owner myself who has suffered from burnout, put my marriage in jeopardy for the sake of my business, and battled workaholic tendencies, I can tell you firsthand that if you don't have boundaries within your business, you, your loved ones, and your clients will eventually suffer.  We've talked about the importance of setting boundaries and how to set boundaries on Priority Pursuit before, but today, I want to break down the three kinds of boundaries all small business owners need to set so that you can protect yourself, your relationships, and your client experience. These boundaries include:  Boundaries that protect your mental, physical, and spiritual health  Boundaries that allow you to prioritize relationships Boundaries that enable you to serve your clients well You can find a more detailed version of this episode's show notes at:  https://victoriarayburnphotography.com/three-kinds-bounaries-small-business-owners-need-set.  Mentioned Links & Resources   “Episode 002: How My Business Almost Cost Me My Marriage” - ​​https://victoriarayburnphotography.com/how-my-business-almost-cost-me-my-marriage/  “Episode 003: How to Set Boundaries in Your Business & Get Your Clients to Respect Them” - https://victoriarayburnphotography.com/how-set-boundaries-your-business-get-your-clients-respect-them/  Save 50% on Your First Six Months of Quickbooks Self-Employed - http://victoriarayburnphotography.com/quickbooks/  Receive 50% Off Your First Order with Photographer's Edit - http://victoriarayburnphotography.com/pe/  Join the Priority Pursuit Podcast Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/179106264013426   Follow or DM Victoria on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/victorialrayburn/ 

Born to Thrive Podcast
How to Not Be Codependent (Ep. 86)

Born to Thrive Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 16:25


Received a fabulous question from my Instagram Q&A box all around codependence when it comes to relationships and whew have I been there before. I used to be so dependent on my significant other's presence and opinion of me that I lost part of myself in that process. I want to explain how you go from codependency to interdependence in a relationship and the benefits that has for both of you!   Time Stamps:   (0:20) Inspired by My Question Box (1:16) Please Share, Rate, and Review (1:40) Codependence vs Interdependence (3:25) Caveat (4:18) Fear of Losing or Needing Someone (6:14) Clarity on Values and Boundaries (11:50) Personal Example ------------- Join the Born to Thrive Community! ------------- Join the Lifts with Alex App Today! ------------- Follow Me on Instagram! - https://www.instagram.com/thealexallen/   Follow Me on Tik Tok! - https://www.tiktok.com/@thealexallen?   Follow the Born to Thrive Podcast Instagram Page! - https://www.instagram.com/borntothrivepodcast/   Follow Lifts with Alex Instagram Page for Training, Nutrition, and Life Tips and Content! - https://www.instagram.com/borntothrivepodcast/   Click Here to Stay Up to Date with All of My Offers and Freebies! - https://beacons.page/thealexallen/

Distribution Talk
Celebrating 100 Episodes! Legacy and Leadership with Dick and Jordan Bader of Acme Construction Supply

Distribution Talk

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 33:25


Milestones are a part of the distribution business and, as it turns out, podcasting. What better way to celebrate Distribution Talk's 100th episode than with a combo of sorts––equal parts company case study and oral history. Jason corrals family patriarch and founder of Acme Construction Supply Co, Inc., Dick Bader, and little brother Jordan, current president and CEO, for an insider's look at the family business. Like all epic tales, this one comes complete with plot twists, sibling rivalry (of the genial kind), and a cliffhanger.  “I'll admit, the first time I saw you speak right after you left Acme, I was pretty sure we were saving a seat for you back at Acme,” Jordan jokes. When Jason exited the family business over a decade ago for the “greener pastures” of consulting, he eventually cleared a path for Jordan to lead Acme. Both Bader boys have their father to thank for their successes, having watched Dick navigate the often choppy waters of entrepreneurship.  Dick weighed hefty considerations as he brought both of his sons into Acme. Legacy. Boundaries. Balance. No matter how thoughtful an entry or succession plan, there will be stumbles along the way. And successes more profound than any bottom lines. “Dad, as you brought us into the business, you showed continuity, and you showed this stability for our employees that, you know, I still have,” says Jordan.   Stay tuned for part two! CONNECT WITH JASON LinkedIn CONNECT WITH JORDAN LinkedIn *** For full show notes and services visit: http://www.distributionteam.com Distribution Talk is produced by The Distribution Team, a consulting services firm dedicated to helping wholesale distribution clients remove barriers to profitability, generate wealth and achieve personal goals.    This episode was edited & mixed by The Creative Impostor Studios.  Special thanks to our sponsor for this episode: Profit2.

Encountering You
Boundaries

Encountering You

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 29:21


How to protect myself from the world and how to protect the world from myself...boundaries seems to be one of the most difficult topics to understand and incorporate. Most people can identify what kinds of boundaries we need but have a hard time keeping them. Today I will unpack why boundaries are so complicated.

The Dr. John Delony Show
I Need Boundaries w/ My Guilt-Tripping Mother-in-Law

The Dr. John Delony Show

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 53:17


In today's show, we're talking to a woman burdened by her mother-in-law's guilt trips and a firefighter-in training wondering how to mentally prepare for the trauma of the job. And we have special guest Rachel Cruze joining us to discuss why people (like her) fall for conspiracy theories. https://peterattiamd.com/conspiracy-theory-theories-july-20-1969/ Lyrics of the Day: "Truth" - New Order Let us know what's going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show.  Support Our Sponsors: BetterHelp DreamCloud Churchill Mortgage Resources: Own Your Past, Change Your Future Questions for Humans Conversation Cards Redefining Anxiety Quick Read John's Free Guided Meditation Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts anytime, anywhere in our app. Download at: https://apple.co/3eN8jNq These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.

Intuition: Your First Sense
Feeling Joy When others are Hurting

Intuition: Your First Sense

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 32:58


Do you believe you are helping when you feel the pain of others? Have you been told that is what it means to be empathic? I have a different perception of what is healthy empathy. Listen to this week's episode and see if this way of empathizing could help you feel calmer and happier in today's world. If you'd like a transcript of the podcast, check out Episode Transcription

Speaking Light Into Abortion
Find Your Baseline and Boundaries

Speaking Light Into Abortion

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 31:31


JOIN MY MAILING LIST for special gifts and opportunities.For full show notes visit: www.amandastarkingsley.com/speaking-light-into-abortion/139One to one coaching available for listeners who want to deepen their healing work. If you are someone who chose abortion and find yourself struggling, hiding, or wishing you could move beyond your experience, you can book a free call with me. We'll talk about how you can start living the life you made your choice for. https://calendly.com/amandastarkingsley/free-consult-session

The Boundaries.me Podcast
Episode 349 - The Dr. Cloud Show - Shorts - Balancing Togetherness and Separateness

The Boundaries.me Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 16:15


In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud talks about why relationships require togetherness and separateness. You might have attachment issues, or anxiety issues. You might interpret separateness as abandonment. You might be feeling controlled because you don't have enough personal time. Start by asking yourself if you're spending too much time together, or too much time apart. If you don't have any togetherness, you don't have a relationship. If you don't have any separateness, you're enmeshed. We were made to be together and separate without losing love for each other.     Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure what to do? Then you're in luck! We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm Pacific! If you can't attend live, don't worry, you can stream the recording as much as you like. To find out more about it go to Boundaries.me/Narcissism. Get a free 14 day trial to Boundaries.me with over 90 video courses, daily coaching emails and more. We've got courses on codependency, finding safe people, dealing with a narcissist, and over 90 other courses. You'll also get daily coaching videos delivered to your inbox--short 2-4 minute videos that give you one thing to do that day to build your way to a better version of yourself. We've also got a members-only support community on the site where you can discuss what you're learning, and get support and share support along the way. It's a free two-week trial, cancel at anytime, and only $9 a month after that. https://www.boundaries.me  

Coffee & A Good Vibe
Mari Llewellyn ON: How She Changed Her Life Through Fitness, Lost 90 Pounds & Built A 2M + Loyal Brand Community

Coffee & A Good Vibe

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 57:55


Mari Llewellyn (@marillewellyn) is a Fitness Influencer & Entrepreneur - Founder of two businesses, Bloom Nutrition & her own fitness app, SLAY — offering health and wellness products that support a strong mind and body, inside and out. Mari has accumulated a strong community of over 2 + MILLION across her social media platforms and launched her brand in 2017 — after her own 90-pound weight-loss transformation! She uses her platform to inspire and help women discover the best version of themselves, physically, mentally, and emotionally. In addition to promoting physical wellness, she's a big advocate for mental health awareness and hopes that by sharing her own struggles, she can help destigmatize the topic. EPISODE OVERVIEW: Mari's background into finding wellness & beginning her fitness journey How fitness changed her life and saved her through mental health struggles and battling depression & BTP - Borderline Personality Disorder. How did you get to such a positive and self-serving space with your mental health Advice to others struggling with Mental Health issues How to begin your fitness journey & transform your life Benefits of weight training for women How to achieve BALANCE in your fitness / health lifestyle The Journey of Building her businesses/ brands- Bloom Nutrition & The Slay App Scaling and Building A Team How Mari lives her best life balancing fitness. Health, a HUGE brand and multiple businesses How to build and grow a LARGE & Engaged Brand & Community online Mari's unique approach to creating authentic Instagram content Mari's successful content calendar and creation schedule for every platform How to continuously get inspired when creating compelling content Boundaries & Dealing with Negativity on Social Media Mari's Morning / Evening Routines & Non-Negotiable Habits & So much more! Share the love & let me know your thoughts over on Instagram, @coffeeandagoodvibe | @ayeshasehra EPISODE MENTIONS: SHOP DUER HERE - The best & most comfortable pants & jeans you will ever wear! Use code, "GROWTHESOCIAL" to save an additional 10% on online orders and 15% in-store. CONNECT: YOUTUBE ➟ Watch & subscribe to our channel here ➟ Coffee & A Good Vibe Video Interviews To connect with Ayesha Sehra ➟ click HERE Check out our podcast insta ➟ click HERE To learn about my Branding & PR Agency Grow The Social ➟ click HERE

Grant Writing & Funding
Ep. 219: How Much Time to Spend Working In vs. On Your Business

Grant Writing & Funding

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 41:55


Finding out how much time to spend working in your businesses vs. on your business can be overwhelming. Even the most seasoned nonprofit consultants and freelance grant writers can find themselves scratching their heads and working on the weekends to “get it all done” (which is impossible). —------------------------------------------------------ ✨

Bikini Diaries
220: Recovery with Jodie Yuncker

Bikini Diaries

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 65:32


Have you ever struggled with an eating disorder? Or maybe you're in the midst of it now longing for a path to healing. My guest today has been there too. She shares her journey from not eating to fueling her body with food. She is now an IFBB Bikini pro and works full time as a coach and media manager for Fit Body Fusion.   What you'll hear in this episode: [5:00] Bikini Hack [11:30] Believing in herself [14:30] Her experience with eating disorders [22:30] Recovery and healing [32:00] Getting started in the sport [37:00] Falling in love with the sport [39:30] Being fully recovered [42:30] Is competing a good sport for women who have had eating disorders? [45:00] Developing her strong mindset [47:00] Coaching [50:30] Boundaries [52:30] Getting ready for the upcoming season [59:00] Goals for 2022 [1:02:00] Dear Diary   Find Jodie on Instagram @jodiejfit_ifbbpro   Get your PCOS test here: trylgc.com/bikinidiaries   ----->Head HERE for your FREEBIES, coupon codes, and other links!

The Copywriter Club Podcast
TCC Podcast #291: How to Create an Irresistible Offer with Lander Sulser

The Copywriter Club Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 77:57


Lander Sulser is our guest for the 291st episode of The Copywriter Club Podcast. Lander is a marketing strategist and launch copywriter who helps her clients optimize their offer using her signature framework. Whether you're trying to help your own clients with their offers or you're creating your own, be sure to tune into the episode. Check out the conversation: Not knowing how the hell you get to your dreams, but you know you have them. The benefits of using mastermind to leverage your skills and business. How you could get the “in” with big names in the industry by knowing one person. The other benefits and value you can provide as a copywriter other than just the writing component. The process of creating the name for your offer. How to create an irresistible offer in 4 simple steps. What has changed in creating offers since the pandemic? How to hone in on your BIG promise, so your message isn't diluted. The guarantee – How should we approach it? What we shouldn't be doing when launching our products. How to create exclusivity around your VIP offer. The better way to craft your USP to stand out from the crowd. Creating purpose for every copy element you're providing for your client. DFY vs DWY copy services – what's best for YOUR business? Boundaries you should be setting as a consultant or mentor. You aren't (always) the ideal client… create the separation. The secret to the end of research and learning during copy projects. Being nicer to ourselves – How do we rewrite the stories we're telling? Implementing systems and processes will do w h a t for your business?! Why white space in your calendar will create a better business. How to build authority as a highly-sensitive person. This is a not-to-miss episode. Be sure to press play or check out the transcript below. The people and stuff we mentioned on the show: The Copywriter Think Tank Copywriting Income Survey Kira's website Rob's website Lander's workshop  The Copywriter Club Facebook Group The Copywriter Underground Sign up for Typeform Episode 205 Episode 266   Full Transcript: Rob Marsh:  You've probably heard the marketing equation 40/40/20. More than one of our guests on past episodes has mentioned it. 40/40/20 represents which parts of promotion are responsible for the sales. 40% comes from your list or your audience, making sure that you're talking to the right people. Another 40% comes from the quality and value of your offer. And the final 20% comes from your copy, the message that you use to sell the offer to the right audience. And if you're talking to the right people with a great offer, you'll almost certainly succeed, even if the copy isn't that great. Conversely, if your offer is bad, even the best copy won't do much to salvage the promotion. All of that is a long way to introduce our guests for this episode of The Copywriter Club Podcast. Copywriter and marketing strategist and Think Tank member Lander Sulser. Lander's specialty is helping her clients dial in an irresistible offer that customers can't say no to. It's a superpower that every copywriter needs to have. So you'll definitely want to stick around for this episode. Kira Hug:  Before diving into the interview with Lander, this sponsor for this week's episode is the copywriter Think Tank. Rob Marsh:  Surprise. Kira Hug:  Shockingly, it's the Copywriter Think Tank. It's a part mastermind and part coaching program, and it's designed to help copywriters dive deeper into their businesses and explore new ideas that maybe they didn't even think were possible. With our two new coaches, Linda Perry and Jonnie Stellar, you'll get personalized focus on systems and mindset. In addition to strategic coaching and support from the two of us. If you're looking to create a new offer or program, scale your income, launch a book, or maybe even a podcast, the Think Tank could be your next step to making i...

Pause On The Play
VIP Days, Burnout, and the Beauty of Boundaries with Jordan Gill

Pause On The Play

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 53:29


You can do things differently. You can define success for yourself in a way that accounts for your whole self and wellbeing and not just the work you do for others. You don't have to be grinding and hustling every hour of every day. Being burned out is not a badge of honor. Jordan Gill joins Erica for a conversation about VIP days and how implementing them has supported both their businesses and their lives.  In this discussion: How VIP days create natural boundaries for you and your work How VIP days allow you to be more present for your clients and in your life How VIP days support you in your Imperfect Allyship® Why you need to stop apologizing for what you need to be great Connect with Jordan Gill: Systems Saved Me Instagram: @SystemsSavedMe Ready to dive deeper? Getting clear on your values helps you understand and recognize what you need in order to be the most effective version of yourself in your business and in your life. To be in alignment with what matters to you and why, so you can chart a course that prioritizes your values and the impact you want to create, you need to be explicit about those values. If you want support in getting clarity on what you support and how your actions are aligned with that, sign up for the Implicit to Explicit Masterclass. Learn more about leading through your values at pauseontheplay.com/explicit.

Multiamory Podcast
372 - Needs, Desires, Boundaries, and More

Multiamory Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 54:31


This week, we're discussing the differences between needs, wants, expectations, boundaries, rules, agreements, and how these terms tend to be often used interchangeably, as well as how these terms affect our communication in relationships. If this show is helpful to you, consider joining our amazing community of like-minded listeners at patreon.com/Multiamory. You can also get access to ad-free episodes, group video discussions, bonus episodes, and more! Treat yourself to some stories to turn you on or help you drift off to sleep with an extended 30-day free trial at DipseaStories.com/multiGet hair care that is completely customized to your hair and your life AND get 15% off at Prose.com/multiOrder a sexy gift box from our sponsor, Like a Kitten, and get 20% off with our code MULTI at LikeAKitten.com/multi Our sponsor, Betterhelp, offers affordable professional counseling online. Visitbetterhelp.com/multi and get 10% off your first month. Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.Please send us your feedback and questions to info@multiamory.com, find us on Instagram @Multiamory_Podcast, tweet at us @Multiamory, check out our Facebook Page, visit our website Multiamory.com. We are a proud member of the Pleasure Podcasts network.

18Forty Podcast
Rahel Bayar: Developing Healthy Boundaries [Abuse 2/3]

18Forty Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 59:45


In this episode of the 18Forty Podcast, we talk to Rahel Bayar, founder of The Bayar Group, about abuse awareness and education in faith-based communities. Due to the sensitive nature of this conversation, at times, this episode does contain mature language and listener discretion is advised.Rahel is a former assistant district attorney and now runs The Bayar Group, which provides abuse training and serves as a consultant to organizations and institutions. Rahel helps us understand some of the difficult definitions we hear and discusses the importance of establishing boundaries in order to identify red flags. - Why don't we see abuse before it happens?- What can we do to establish healthy boundaries and prevent abuse? - What conversations should we be having with our children to prevent and identify abuse?Tune in to hear a conversation about education, boundaries, and abuse prevention. Interview begins at 5:01.Rahel Bayar is the CEO of the Bayar Group, a group that provides sexual abuse and harassment prevention training for schools, camps, and organizations to create lasting change. Rahel is a former sex crimes and child abuse prosecutor who has worked in the field of sexual misconduct and abuse prevention for over a decade. Rahel served as a Managing Director in the Sexual Misconduct Consulting & Investigations division of a global security and consulting firm, and spent many years as an Assistant District Attorney in both the Child Abuse/Sex Crimes and Domestic Violence Bureaus at the Bronx District Attorney's office. Rahel is a sought-after speaker for her workshops on sexual misconduct, abuse prevention & detection, safe social media and electronic communication practices, boundary guidelines, and consent. Rahel joins us to talk about establishing healthy boundaries.If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, please get help.If you are in immediate danger or need emergency assistance, call 911.Shalom Task Force Hotline: 718.337.3700; Toll Free: 888.883.2323 Jewish Board Of Family And Children's Services Domestic Violence Services: 212.262.7655New York Legal Assistance Group (NYLAG): 212.613.5000References:Gittin 56BThe Bayar GroupLaw and Order SVUCSI“I Started the Media Men List” by Moira Donegan@Rahel.Bayar on InstagramYour Whole Body by Lizzie CharbonneauConsent (for Kids!): Boundaries, Respect, and Being in Charge of YOU by Rachel BrianKingdom Come by Mark Waid and Alex RossMaus by Art Spiegelman

Lead into It Podcast
39. Setting Your Mindset, Boundaries and Priorities with Debbie Storey

Lead into It Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 62:09


Making coffee at work might seem like an ordinary task, so how did Debbie change her mindset about this small task into something that launched her career? This week's episode is with Debbie Story,  President and CEO of the nonprofit AT&T Performing Arts Center, to talk about leadership lessons she learned as she progressed in her career.  With her passion for leading teams, the lessons she shares can inspire you to change your mindset and set boundaries to maximize your potential. A little more about Debbie, before joining the Center full time, Debbie led large organizations in various parts of BellSouth and AT&T operations. Her most recent role was EVP Mobility Customer Service, and before that she spent four years as Senior Vice President of Talent Development and Chief Diversity Officer at AT&T, responsible for identifying and developing leaders across 240,000 employees in 60 countries, aligning managers with the company's priorities, and driving employee engagement. She oversaw the award-winning AT&T University, as well as the company's efforts to leverage diversity and inclusion to drive innovation and growth. Throughout her career, she held positions in customer service, sales, distribution, supply chain, operations, network, M&A, digital & social media, and HR, first at BellSouth and then AT&T.Link to Debbie's book: Don't Downside Your Dreams: Leadership Inspiration for Women_______________________________________www.leadintoit.co  Reach out to Sara: hello@leadintoit.co Instagram: @leadintoitFacebook: @leadintoitLogo Design: Kamry Rose Creative, kamryrosecreative@gmail.com   DISCLAIMER: Any opinions or comments made by the host, Sara Greco, and/or her guests are their own and not endorsed by any external entity. MasterClass| $15/month unlimited classes An online experience that gives everyone the opportunity to learn from the world's best. MasterClass| $15/month unlimited classes An online experience that gives everyone the opportunity to learn from the world's best.Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.

Light After Trauma
Episode 95: Boundaries: A Crucial Tool for Healing and Thriving with Alyssa Scolari, LPC

Light After Trauma

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2022 39:47


This week on the podcast Alyssa discusses a brand new, multi-episode topic. Pulling from Nedra Glover Tawwab's book, Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself, Alyssa discusses what boundaries are, why we need them, and some of the most prominent areas in which people struggle to set boundaries.  Nedra Tawwab's Instagram: @nedratawwab Order Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Tawwab   Check out the Light After Trauma website for transcripts, other episodes, Alyssa's guest appearances, and more at: www.lightaftertrauma.com Want to get more great content and interact with the show? Check us out on Instagram: @lightaftertrauma We need your help! We want to continue to make great content that can help countless trauma warriors on their journey to recovery. So, please help us in supporting the podcast by becoming a recurring patron of the show via Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/lightaftertrauma   Transcript: Alyssa Scolari [00:23]: Hi everybody, welcome back to another episode of the Light After Trauma podcast. I am your host, Alyssa Scolari. Glad to be back here today. We are talking about boundaries which is in my opinion, one of the most important tools too, and not just healing, but also one of the most important tools that you can use in your everyday life as you go throughout your entire life. You need boundaries all of the time. Alyssa Scolari [00:50]: So before we get into that, just a few housekeeping things. If I have not gotten back to you yet, I know a few of you have reached out to me on Patreon. If I haven't gotten back to you yet, please forgive me. It's been a little bit hectic. I know that in the last episode, I talked about how I have really been struggling with depression. And at the time that I recorded that episode, I was saying like, "I just don't know why I feel this way, and I have done absolutely everything I can do to try to make myself feel better. I've tried to take care of myself to the best of my ability, and yet still, here I am so depressed." Alyssa Scolari [01:31]: Now in the time between when I recorded that episode, and when I am recording this episode, I have a lot more insight into why I was feeling the way that I was feeling. I thought that I understood maybe a part of why I was feeling really depressed with the anniversary of my mom getting really sick, but now that I've ... Well, I should say now that certain events in my life have unfolded, I can confidently say that I know more about why I was feeling so depressed, and I think that emphasizes the importance of hanging in there and riding the wave even if you don't understand what's happening because sometimes we don't understand what's happening, but it's important to hang in there anyway because I am on the mend. Alyssa Scolari [02:24]: Well, somewhat. I will continue to get better, and I now understand that I was gearing up for a goodbye. And I'm just going to briefly touch on what has happened. I will more than likely do an episode where I go into a little bit more depth about it, but I don't know for sure yet, I'm still trying to process what happened. And I'm still trying to grieve and figure out for myself what life is going to look like now because this truly was the hardest decision that I have ever made in my life. Alyssa Scolari [03:09]: I have made the decision to go no contact with my family and briefly, I had a falling out with my brother shortly after I recorded last week's episode. And due to the falling out with my brother, I terminated that relationship because I realized that it was not healthy for me at all, and hasn't been healthy for me for probably 30 years. And so I terminated that relationship. And as a result of terminating that relationship, my mother and I had a falling out about that. And it was really at that point that I knew for me that these relationships aren't going to work in my life no matter how much I wish that they would. Alyssa Scolari [04:12]: So I realize that it's time, it's time to walk away, it's time to say goodbye. It's time to step back from all of this, and as much as it hurt me, I don't question whether or not I did the right thing. I know that I have done the right thing. I don't question that because it was so harmful for me to continue in relationships where I can't be my authentic self, and so I had to walk away and it's ironic I think that this episode, we are talking about boundaries because this was a result. Alyssa Scolari [04:57]: This incident was a result of me trying to set boundary after boundary that just wasn't working and when it comes to family conflict or any kind of conflict, going no contact like right now, I think we are really in cut you off culture. "Well, you're not doing things my way, so I'm just going to cut you off." And a lot of people do that and that's passive aggressive when we're not actually explicitly stating the problem, that can be pretty passive aggressive, but cut off or cutting somebody off, not this cutoff culture that we live in where we're so quick to just be like, "I'm done with you." Alyssa Scolari [05:41]: Making the decision to go no contact with somebody or cut somebody off is typically or should be if exercised in the appropriate way, it should be a decision that comes after years and years or not even years, but after multiple failed attempts at trying to repair the relationships or trying to establish boundaries in the relationships, right? That's when we start talking about, "Do I even want to be in this relationship, friendship, et cetera, if things aren't improving?" So when I say that I went no contact, I by no means want to give the impression that this was an impulsive decision or something that I have done without ever really trying to fix the problem. Alyssa Scolari [06:30]: This is something that for me personally has been 30 years in the making. And again, I don't question whether I did the right thing or the wrong thing. I know it was the right thing for me, but there is a heavy amount of grief there just because it was the right decision doesn't mean that it hasn't been really difficult for me. There's a lot of grief, there's a lot of pain, there's a lot of anger and it feels like I've been preparing for it this whole last month with how depressed I was feeling. Alyssa Scolari [07:13]: I started reading Harry Potter again and mind you, I don't like J.K. Rowling, and I do not buy things now that support her. I have the books Harry Potter is, and always will be one of the most important parts of my childhood and my adulthood apparently. So I don't like Joanne Rowling. She is a trans exclusionary, radical feminist. She is extremely transphobic. She is very, very harmful to the transgender community, so don't support her at all as an aside, but I have been reading Harry Potter and Harry Potter is something that got me through so much when I was younger. So, so much. Alyssa Scolari [08:03]: This boy that has been hurt time after time after time and had nobody there or seemingly nobody there, but persisted anyway. And I started picking up those books again recently, and I've been really, really into them and just really drawn into to that world. And I think because emotionally speaking, there are so many parallels with Harry Potter's worlds and mine, and so in a way it feels like I knew this was coming. Alyssa Scolari [08:38]: I think my body was just preparing and then it happened, and I feel a lot of things, grief and relief. The whole gamut of emotions is what I feel. So I have been really just taking time to heal and recover and learn how to move through my life, and I guess just heal. That's the bottom line, I'm figuring out how to heal. So if I'm less responsive on Patreon, bear with me. If I'm less responsive on Instagram, also bear with me. Alyssa Scolari [09:19]: I am just taking my time to move through all of the feelings as they come, and we will see where I'm at next week. I will, of course update you on how I'm feeling and things of that nature, but that is what happened. I had to go no contact with my family and it sucked. It sucked, bottom line. So enough about that. Let's get into what we're talking about today, and what we're talking about today is boundaries as I mentioned. Alyssa Scolari [09:50]: So boundaries is, or boundaries are the one thing that I think so many people hate when it comes to therapy and healing and recovery because they are the hardest things to set. I believe, especially for trauma survivors who have typically had some part of our bodies or minds controlled by somebody else, trauma survivors who have been made to feel like their body isn't their own or their voice doesn't matter. We really struggle with boundaries, and I really struggled with boundaries. Alyssa Scolari [10:31]: I once had a supervisor tell me several jobs ago that I had terrible boundaries. Actually, she didn't say I had terrible boundaries. She said I had shitty boundaries, yelled at me and told me that I had boundaries. I was horrified by that. I was super young. I was super new in the field, and I look back at that and I'm like, huh? She was right. Now, don't get me wrong. She was so, so wrong to say that, and it was so inappropriate of her to say that, and I was so angry at how she said that to me, but she was right, she was absolutely right. Alyssa Scolari [11:15]: And I have had to work so hard over the last several years to make my boundaries healthier. I believe that boundaries are a work in progress. I think we are always working on them, and I don't think we ever get to the space where we're like a hundred percent perfect in all of our boundaries. I don't know, maybe we do, but I've never met anybody who's a hundred percent perfect in all of their boundaries, but it's something to always be worked on because at the end of the day, boundaries are the gateway to healing, they are the gateway to peace. Alyssa Scolari [11:53]: They are the gateway to good and happy and healthy relationships with ourselves, and others. Boundaries are everything. I firmly believe that, and so many other therapists out there also believe that. So we are talking about this right now. What are boundaries? Why do we need them? How do I know if I have poor boundaries? What do I do if I have terrible boundaries? How do I get better? Why is this so scary for me? How do I move past the anxiety around setting boundaries? Alyssa Scolari [12:30]: We're talking about all of it, and we are not going to be able to fit all of it into one episode. So this is going to be a multiple episode topic, but we're getting through it because I think that this is one of the most useful tools to have in your tool belt. Dare I say it is the most useful tool, at least for me, it's been the most useful. Absolutely. So over the course of the next few episodes, I am going to be pulling a lot of information from one of my favorite books about boundaries, and the author of this book is Nedra Glover Tawwab, and if you don't follow her on Instagram, you absolutely should. Alyssa Scolari [13:21]: She is incredible. She has 1.5 million followers. She is phenomenal, a phenomenal therapist. So I will link her Instagram as well as the book in the show notes. So you can feel free to go and check that out, but the title of her book is called Set Boundaries, Find Peace, A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself. This book is amazing. It's not super long. I have listened to it several times on Audible, so I just listened to it in my car when I'm driving. Alyssa Scolari [13:58]: I highly recommend this book. It was truly life changing for me, and I think that this book was part of the reason why I was able to get to a place where I said no more to my relationship with my family. So let's get right into it. The first question being, what are boundaries? And I think this is one of the first chapters in Nedra's book Set Boundaries, Find Peace. What in the world are boundaries? How do we define boundaries? Right? Alyssa Scolari [14:30]: That word in itself when I bring it up to people, a lot of people, they know what they are, but have trouble putting words to it. So we're going to break it down very simply which is boundaries are rules or expectations that need to be met in order for relationships whether that relationship is with ourselves or with other people. Rules, expectations that need to be met in order for relationships to operate in a healthy manner. In order for us to be happy, boundaries are required. Alyssa Scolari [15:15]: So let's break that down a little bit, right? It might make sense at first to be like, "Okay, well, I understand why boundaries might be needed with other people, but what do you mean myself? How do I set boundaries with myself?" And sometimes, that looks like getting on a schedule, having a routine, making time to detox from technology, right? Getting off the phone, getting off the computer. All of these little things that we do are self-boundaries. Alyssa Scolari [15:49]: They're boundaries that we have with ourselves to keep ourselves happy and healthy. So why do we need them? Why on earth do we need boundaries? Well obviously, it keeps us happy and healthy, but what happens when we don't have them? What happens if we don't have boundaries that are strong enough or boundaries that are too strong? Well, according to Nedra, relationships that are complicated or relationships that don't have great boundaries are among the leading causes of anxiety. Alyssa Scolari [16:29]: So poor relationships, relationships that aren't healthy, relationships that need improvement on boundaries are one of the biggest causes of anxiety. And that makes so much sense because so many people come to therapy, not just in a vacuum, right? People don't come to therapy and just say, "Well, I am struggling with depression." Or, "I have an eating disorder." No, behind the depression, behind the eating disorder, behind the anxiety disorder is typically, "Well, I have problems with this person and I have issues at work, and my boss is making me work 60 hours a week, and my mother won't stop calling me and my partner won't let me talk to other people of the opposite sex." Alyssa Scolari [17:19]: People come to therapy with problems that involve more often than not other people. I have never sat down with a client who came to me with a problem, and the problem was just a little, just about them. This problem almost always encompasses other people. So when we don't have boundaries, we don't have healthy enough boundaries, we tend to fail in our relationships or our relationships don't serve us, and this can exacerbate mental health disorders, and especially for somebody who has trauma, has a history of trauma, this can really exacerbate PTSD symptoms. Alyssa Scolari [18:05]: So how do you know if you are somebody who doesn't have great boundaries? Well, a lack of boundaries in itself can trigger an onset of tons of negative things, right? Including resentment and anxiety and depression and avoidance can also include overwhelm, feelings of burnout. These are all signs that boundaries are poor. I learned in grad school, I think one of the most important things that I learned in grad school and a tool that I keep in my back pocket to this day is my professor said it, Dr. Jim Hall who is amazing, love Dr. Hall. Alyssa Scolari [18:57]: He said to us one day in class, "If you are feeling burned out, if you are feeling stressed out, if you are starting to resent some of the clients that you are working with, that is a sign that you need better boundaries in your life." And I have never forgotten that. So this day, if I find myself getting not necessarily resentful because I don't really resent my clients, but sometimes if I get frustrated, if I feel like I'm working really, really hard, and this person isn't necessarily like meeting me halfway, or if I start to get burned out and I start to feel really, really overwhelmed, I know that that problem is my problem. Alyssa Scolari [19:46]: That's not a problem for my clients. The problem isn't my clients, it's never my clients. If I'm feeling some kind of way, that is because my boundaries aren't good enough or because something is going on within me, it's not the client's fault at all. That is a sign that my boundaries aren't as great as they could be. And so to this day, every time I felt this way, I have made it a point to readjust my boundaries, tighten them up a little, and then I feel so much better, and I enjoy my job so much more because here's the thing, right? Alyssa Scolari [20:22]: We live in this world where we almost shame selfishness in some ways. In some areas, we shame selfishness, right? Oh, you're being so selfish. Oh, why don't you care about anybody else? And then of course, in other ways, I feel like we live in a very, at least in the United States, right? It's very every man for himself, every woman for himself, every person for themselves. But in some ways, I find when it includes mental health and relationships, interpersonal relationships, it is more along the lines of we get shamed for putting ourselves first. Alyssa Scolari [21:11]: Oh, well, how could you not pick up the phone when that person needs you? You're not a good person. Why aren't you, why aren't you helping them move this weekend? And the thing about that is at the end of the day, you cannot save anybody else if you don't put your oxygen mask on first. You can't help other people if you can't help yourself and you will continue to have relationships where you feel resentful, or you feel like your needs aren't getting met until you decide that you have to come first, until you decide that you looking out for you is not selfish. Alyssa Scolari [21:58]: It is self-care. It is a requirement for survival for thriving. You have to look out for you first. Now, this is a really hard concept for people who are chronic people pleasers. I was raised as a people pleaser. I was raised that it doesn't matter what's going on in your life, it doesn't matter what's happening in your world. You need to drop everything and be there for other people, and if you don't, it's selfish, it's not right. It's not okay. Alyssa Scolari [22:34]: This is very, very hard to do, right? Because for those of us who are people pleasers, as soon as somebody needs us, or as soon as the going gets tough, the first thing to go on our list is usually self-care. We will put self-care so low on the totem pole because we are trying to meet the needs of everybody else first. This is often really true with moms. Moms, dads, parents. This is so true. Alyssa Scolari [23:01]: We will put, I say we like I'm a parent. I'm a dog mom, okay? It counts. We will put our needs so low on the totem pole. I have to feed the kids. I have to get them dressed. I have to take them to their after school sports. And we during none of that make time for ourselves in the slightest. Now listen, I'm not saying it's easy. Being a mom, I think is the hardest job in the whole world. Alyssa Scolari [23:36]: Being a parent in general I think is the hardest job in the entire world. Of course because of stigma, right? Because of the patriarchy, women are expected to do much more and often are doing so much more. So I think a lot of that pressure falls more on women and women are more likely to push their self-care to the side. So yeah, it's especially difficult when you have kids, when you have little ones who need you constantly to make time for yourself, but again, you can't show up as your best self to anybody if you're not putting yourself first. Alyssa Scolari [24:19]: And when we're not putting ourselves first and we're not getting our needs met, then we start to resent other people. And we feel like, "well, I'm always there for other people. Why isn't anybody showing up for me?" Because the other thing is, is that people benefit from you having poor boundaries, right? Nedra says this in the book and it is so important to remember. People benefit from you not having appropriate boundaries because then they can get more from you, and it's not necessarily an inherently bad thing. Alyssa Scolari [24:54]: I'm not saying that the people in your life are like, "Oh, I can see that Jane has terrible boundaries, and I'm going to milk her for everything she is worth." No, but it's nature, right? People test limits. People see, they want to see how much they can get away with. So people are going to take advantage of your poor boundaries and then you're going to feel resentful, you're going to feel overwhelmed, you're going to feel burnt out. Alyssa Scolari [25:24]: You're going to start to get very anxious, and you're either going to start to get angry with people, or you're going to become very depressed and you're going to feel lonely, and perhaps might isolate. Maybe you get a lot of anxiety because you don't want to talk to anybody. You don't want to open your inbox. You don't want to look at all your emails. You start to have panic attacks on Sunday nights before work the next day because you don't want to know all the work that your boss is going to put on you. You avoid, right? Alyssa Scolari [25:57]: You avoid. You either lash out at people or you avoid and you try to disappear. Now, I took a survey on my Instagram in a way to prepare for this episode because I thought it would be interesting to get all of your feedback. And I asked the question when you are in a conflict with somebody, what are you more likely to do? And the options were avoid conflict at all costs, set boundaries with the person and talk it through or cut the person off completely. Alyssa Scolari [26:40]: Now much to my surprise, nobody said cut the person off completely. Nobody said that. A few people said set boundaries, but the overwhelming majority of you, I think it was 88% of you said I will avoid conflict at all costs. And I see this so many times in my practice too. People will come in and they will avoid conflict and avoid conflict, but then their mental health will get worse and worse and worse. And honestly, I think that's what was happening to me over this last month. Alyssa Scolari [27:23]: I was avoiding ending things with my family. And so my mental health got worse and worse and worse and worse until I couldn't take it anymore, and I had to decide that I needed to come first. So this happens all of the time. Now there are three different types of boundaries. And first, we have poorest boundaries. Okay? So what are poorest boundaries? These are often people with weaker boundaries like in the sense that they have a lot of trouble setting those boundaries. Alyssa Scolari [28:03]: So they're too involved with other people. They will ruin their own day just so they can be there for somebody else. They will cancel their doctor's appointment just because somebody calls them and says, "Hey, I need you. Do you have time to talk?" These people are highly dependent on other people and they have a really difficult time with feeling highly anxious, overwhelmed, very burnt out. Alyssa Scolari [28:31]: These are your people pleasers. Very difficult time saying no, always wanting to help others. Yes, I'll help you move. Yes, I'll cancel my plans with my family and I will help you move. Yes, I will drive to your house for the millionth time even though you never drive to my house, and I won't say anything about it, but I am going to feel resentful. These are people who often struggle with like codependency and enmeshment. Alyssa Scolari [28:56]: They become extremely attached to other people. In general, they just struggle to say no. I just can't say no to anybody, and then we have healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries is exactly what it is. It's when you are setting rules and expectations with yourself and other people without your past trauma showing up to the interaction. I hope that makes sense. This is something that I have taken from Nedra's book, and this is what she says, and I think that it's absolutely brilliant. Alyssa Scolari [29:42]: You are setting rules and expectations without letting your pain from the past, your trauma from the past show up. Without letting the fact that you have been abandoned as a child, the fact that your father left when you were younger, the fact that you have a history of sexual abuse, that's staying in the past and here you are setting roles and expectations without apologizing, without over explaining, without feelings of immense guilt or anxiety. Those are healthy boundaries. Alyssa Scolari [30:20]: That is what we are all striving for, easier said than done. I am much better at setting boundaries, but I sure as heck struggle with guilt and anxiety almost every time that I set them. And I think that this is just something that gets better over time and with practice. So then we have rigid boundaries. This is when your boundaries are just like entirely too strong. Alyssa Scolari [30:48]: Strong might not necessarily be the right word. I would say more rigid or inflexible boundaries. So when your boundaries are just entirely too rigid, and this can often look like folks who have like an all or nothing mentality sometimes. It's like I never, ever, ever will allow somebody to borrow money from me, never. And they just take that boundary to the grave. There is zero flexibility, there is zero chance of like, "Okay, well, what if your child is hard up for money and needs gas in their car? Are you going to say no? They need gas in their car to be able to get to work. What are you going to say?" Alyssa Scolari [31:36]: These people don't have space for that. They can't think of a gray area. It's like, "I am absolutely not going to do this or I am absolutely always going to do this. This could also be the person who go to the gym every single day. Now that could also be eating disorder related, but if this person's just like every single day, I have to be at the gym from 4:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m. and they are so inflexible. Alyssa Scolari [32:04]: Something pops up, there's an emergency. I can't come, I'm at the gym. I can't come, I'm at the gym. There's no wiggle room in their boundaries. People who have rigid boundaries will often cut people off. Again, and I said this earlier. They will cut people off without making attempts to set healthy boundaries. They don't want to listen to anyone else's input, and really what rigid boundaries do is it protects people from getting too close to other people. Alyssa Scolari [32:38]: It protects from building relationships, it puts a wall between them and other people. So those are the three different types of boundaries. Hopefully if you have listened to this, you can identify which boundary you have and which category that you fall into. Now, Nedra in her book, and I think that this is really important to mention. She also goes on to say that there are a few of the major areas that people struggle with when it comes to boundaries. Alyssa Scolari [33:18]: And some of those areas are family, and I think this will make sense to a lot of us on this podcast. It is one of the hardest things to do to set boundaries with your family. Whether that's you can't keep giving money to your sister, or you don't want your brother living with you anymore, or you don't want your mother telling you how to parent your children. You don't want her input, things like that can be very, very difficult for people. Alyssa Scolari [33:54]: Work. So many people go to therapy because their work is so stressful. People really struggle to set boundaries with work especially in this new work from home environment that most of us have fallen into since COVID, or not most, many. It can be really, really difficult to make that determination of when am I going to stop checking my emails? When am I going to make a decision that I'm not going to pick up the phone when I boss is calling me? At what time is that going to stop? Alyssa Scolari [34:34]: Romantic relationships, this is also another huge one. People struggle if their partners are doing something that they don't appreciate, or that is harmful to them. People struggle, and I think a lot of that is the fear of abandonment. I don't want them to leave. Friends, very similar thing. People really struggle to set boundaries for friends because they're afraid of how people are going to react, and technology. Alyssa Scolari [35:02]: This is one that I think before really doing a deep dive into boundaries, I would've never even thought about, but it goes back to what I was saying in the beginning of the podcast where boundaries are really important to be able to set with yourself as well. How many hours a day am I going to be on my phone? How often am I going to check my email? Am I going to pick up the phone every time somebody calls me or am I going to let it go to voicemail, see what they want, and then get back to them when I have the space for it? Alyssa Scolari [35:36]: I've had to do a lot of hard work with technology in terms of just not scrolling TikTok at night, because all the blue light will keep you up for so much longer, and I struggle with insomnia. Just spending less and less time on social media because it depresses me. It really does, and also with emails and responding to people, feeling that need to just respond to people all the time versus looking at their texts or their voicemails, and then getting back to them when it's convenient for me. Alyssa Scolari [36:11]: If it's not, an emergency that I absolutely have to be there for like a life or death situation. So those are some of the main areas that Nedra Tawwab says that people struggle. And I believe it, I believe it. I think it's really, really fascinating. So that is a lot of information that I just threw at you. If I haven't convinced you already to get Nedra's book, this is me saying you totally should because it's a really, really good book, and I'm sure as I have spoken today, you all have been able to see a little bit of yourselves in what I am saying. Alyssa Scolari [36:54]: I am somebody who has poorest boundaries or I did have poorest boundaries. I think I have worked my way towards healthier boundaries, but I am just such a people pleaser. So this is something that I've had to work really hard on. It's been very difficult, but extremely rewarding because my life, my business, my relationships have been so much healthier as a result of working on these boundaries. Alyssa Scolari [37:25]: So this is not the end of our conversation my friends. This is only the beginning of us talking about boundaries. We've learned a lot about how people struggle, the different types of boundaries, and now, we are also going to talk about how we set those boundaries, what some of the fears are, how some people might react. We're going to get into more of the practical stuff. Alyssa Scolari [37:53]: I am really enjoying talking about this, and I hope that you have enjoyed listening. If you like what you hear, please feel free to leave us a review and a rating. It goes a really long way in helping to increase visibility of the podcast, and if you haven't done so already, you can also feel free to check out the Patreon link in the show notes. There you can donate to the podcast if you are liking what you hear. Alyssa Scolari [38:22]: Even a little bit goes a really long way in terms of helping to make this podcast a well-oiled machine. I am so grateful for the Patreon members that we have. Also, if you are a Patreon member, you can make a special request for episode topics. You can feel free to reach out to me and say, "Hi, I would love to hear from you." Take care, have a wonderful week, and I am holding you in the light. Alyssa Scolari [38:48]: Thanks for listening everyone. For more information, please head over to lightaftertrauma.com, or you can also follow us on social media. On Instagram, we are @lightaftertrauma and on Twitter, it is @lightafterpod. Lastly, please head over to patreon.com/lightaftertrauma to support our show. We are asking for $5 a month which is the equivalent to a cup of coffee at Starbucks. So please head on over again, that's patreon.com/lightaftertrauma. Thank you, and we appreciate your support. Speaker 2 [39:25]: [Singing].