Podcasts about boundaries

Tenderoni Hotline #19: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. In today's episode, we're moving through three questions that speak right to the heart of healing for emotionally outsourced humans: First: What do I do when someone ignores my boundary? We'll talk about how to respond with clarity and compassion, the difference between miscommunication and disregard, and how to stay rooted in self-trust when boundary-setting feels heartbreaking. Next: Why do I cry so much? And is that actually okay? We'll explore the nervous system science behind emotional tears, how crying can shift your internal state, and why there is no shame in your body's brilliant and built-in ways of processing emotion. And finally: What if I'm too broken for any of this to work? Whether you've secretly believed you're the exception to healing or worry you've tried everything, this part of the episode is a love letter to the part of you that feels beyond help and the truth that you're not. You'll walk away with a deeper understanding of how boundaries, emotions, and old protective beliefs all tie back to your nervous system's wisdom. And most importantly, how to meet yourself with grace, curiosity, and care when things feel hard. So go ahead and grab your softest blanket, pour something grounding, and settle in. I'm so glad you're here. Got a question for the Tenderoni Hotline? Send it to me at: podcast@beatrizalbina.com Learn more about Anchored and apply here: https://www.beatrizalbina.com/anchored Follow me here: https://www.instagram.com/beatrizvictoriaalbinanp/?hl=en

Day 3 of Heart Renewal: Letting Love In Again follows the arc of Ground—returning to your body when love feels uncertain and the mind wants to spiral into "what if." In this episode, you'll practice the Let Go Breath (inhale 4, exhale 8—or 4/6— for 8 rounds), a longer-exhale technique designed to calm stress arousal and anchor you in the present moment. This grounding practice helps release emotional urgency, reduce overthinking, and bring you back to steady self-trust—so you can stay connected to yourself while you navigate love with clarity and calm. Featured technique: Let Go Breath (4 in / 8 out, or 4/6) x 8 rounds Best for: anxious waiting, rumination, uncertainty in dating/relationships, emotional bracing Takeaway: When you ground, you stop chasing certainty—and start choosing from self-respect. ABOUT THIS WEEK'S SERIES Welcome to Heart Renewal: Letting Love In Again—a 7-day meditation series designed to help you gently reopen your heart with both tenderness and wisdom. Whether you're seeking a relationship or you're in one and love feels distant, this week will guide you to release what you've been carrying, calm your nervous system, rebuild emotional safety, and create the inner conditions where love can return—without forcing it. Each day follows a simple arc—Release, Safety, Desire, Boundaries, Receiving, Repair, and Choose Again—with breathwork, visualization, and reflective prompts to help you soften protective patterns, trust yourself again, and feel more open to giving and receiving love in real life. This is day 3 of a 7-day meditation series, "Heart Renewal Meditations: Letting Love In Again,"  episodes 3358-3364. THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE - LOVE IN PRACTICE QUEST: Each day, do one small "letting love in" action— release something heavy, soften your body, express an honest desire, set a gentle boundary, receive without deflecting, make a repair, or choose again. Track it with 7 checkmarks and notice how quickly your heart starts to feel safer, steadier, and more open. THIS WEEK'S MEDITATION JOURNEY  Day 1:  Renewal Visualization Day 2:  Affirmation: "I release what's heavy." Day 3:  Let Go Breath: inhale 4, exhale 8 (or 4/6), do for 8 rounds Day 4:  Apana mudra for purification Day 5:  Fourth chakra for love and gratitude Day 6:  Love Flow meditation, combining the week's techniques Day 7:  Weekly review meditation and closure SHARE YOUR MEDITATION JOURNEY WITH YOUR FELLOW MEDITATORS Let's connect and inspire each other! Please share a little about how meditation has helped you by reaching out to me at Mary@SipandOm.com or better yet -- direct message me on https://www.instagram.com/sip.and.om. We'd love to hear about your meditation ritual!  WAYS TO SUPPORT THE DAILY MEDITATION PODCAST SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode. Consistency is the KEY to a successful meditation ritual. SHARE the podcast with someone who could use a little extra support. I'd be honored if you left me a podcast review. If you do, please email me at Mary@sipandom.com and let me know a little about yourself and how meditation has helped you. I'd love to share your journey to inspire fellow meditators on the podcast! All meditations are created by Mary Meckley and are her original content. Please request permission to use any of Mary's content by sending an email to Mary@sipandom.com. FOR DAILY EXTRA SUPPORT OUTSIDE THE PODCAST Each day's meditation techniques are shared at: sip.and.om Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sip.and.om/ sip and om Facebook https://www.facebook.com/SipandOm/ SIP AND OM MEDITATION APP Looking for a little more support? If you're ready for a more in-depth meditation experience, allow Mary to guide you in daily 30-minute guided meditations on the Sip and Om meditation app. Give it a whirl for 7-days free! Receive access to 3,000+ 30-minute guided meditations customized around a weekly theme to help you manage emotions. Receive a Clarity Journal and a Slow Down Guide customized for each weekly theme.  2-Week's Free Access on iOS https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/sip-and-om/id1216664612?platform=iphone&preserveScrollPosition=true#platform/iphone All meditations are created by Mary Meckley and are her original content. Please request permission to use any of Mary's content by sending an email to Mary@sipandom.com.Let go of repetitive negative thoughts. Music composed by Christopher Lloyd Clark licensed by RoyaltyFreeMusic.com, and also by musician Greg Keller.

What does it really mean to live above reproach in a culture that constantly tests your integrity? In this special series of 'Average Joe' conversations, Jim Ramos sits down with long-time friend Kent Mahelona for an extremely practical conversation about building guardrails that protect both your character and your marriage. Drawing from Jim's upcoming book, Guardrails: 10 Boundaries for an Unbreakable Marriage, they unpack real-life stories and wisdom from decades of marriage to set clear boundaries every man needs to pursue. Jim's newest book, Guardrails: Ten Boundaries for an Unbreakable Marriage will be releasing in April 2026. Sign up to be notified when it's available at https://meninthearena.org/guardrails. This episode is sponsored by Compassion International. Our goal is for the Men in the Arena tribe to sponsor 1,000 boys over the coming year! Help us reach that goal and make a difference in a child's life today. When you sponsor a child using our link, you'll receive a free copy of Jim's book, Dialed In: Reaching Your Full Capacity as a Man of God! I Can Only Imagine 2 hits theaters February 20th, 2026! Watch the trailer and get tickets aticanonlyimagine.com. Every man needs a locker room. Apply to join an exclusive brotherhood of like-minded men in The Locker Room, our monthly live Zoom Q&A call! We meet in the Locker Room once a month for community, fellowship, laughter, and to help each other find biblical answers to life's difficult questions. Locker Room members also get access to monthly exclusive leadership trainings, historically only available to the staff team at Men in the Arena. Membership is by application only. Go here to apply: https://patreon.com/themeninthearena Get Jim Ramos' USA TODAY Bestselling book, Dialed In: Reaching Your Full Capacity as a Man of God (https://tinyurl.com/dialedinbook)

In this season finale, Kristina and Anna reflect on a pivotal personal update, then bring the Inner Villain framework full circle. The conversation weaves lived experience, healthcare advocacy, boundaries, emotional embodiment, and spiritual bypassing into a practical, grounded close to the season.This episode is about changing the script. Not by bypassing reality, but by meeting it honestly.Opening Update. Surgery, Uncertainty, and Narrative ChoiceKristina shares an update on a planned surgical biopsy that ultimately could not proceed. Rather than framing this as loss or avoidance, she explores how preparing for surgery moved a deeper story forward. Fear of death, fear of leaving family, and inherited narratives were confronted directly.Key themes:Reconciling with uncertaintyHow preparation itself can be transformationalChoosing meaning without denialLetting go of the need for visible “proof” of healingHealthcare Reality. Advocacy and Systemic Blind SpotsThe conversation shifts into a candid discussion about healthcare systems, fallibility, and the importance of self-advocacy.Highlights include:Why patients must advocate for themselvesThe power of asking providers to document refusalsGendered dismissal in medical settingsInsurance denial as a systemic issue, not a personal failureThis section grounds the episode firmly in lived reality before returning to psychological and spiritual frameworks.Control vs Illusion. Anchor and DriftAnna revisits a core distinction from earlier episodes: control-based villains versus illusion-based villains, reframed as Anchor and Drift.Key insight:Anchors grow through joy, movement, and emotional flowDrifts grow through responsibility, structure, and self-anchoringThis reframing avoids gendered language while clarifying relational dynamics across work, parenting, money, and intimacy.The 12 Steps as Villain WorkThe discussion explores how 12-step frameworks function as deep transformational tools within the Inner Villain system.Key points:Surrender as medicine for controlResponsibility as medicine for illusionWhy hybrid villains often benefit from bothAddiction, avoidance, and invisibility as shared rootsObedient Critic. Control in Everyday LifeBoth hosts share personal examples of how the Obedient Critic shows up in domestic life, hosting, and expectations.Topics include:Silent rules and unspoken standardsJudgment versus communicationHumor as a bridge away from controlLearning to state needs without shame or superiorityVengeful Martyr. Boundaries and BurnoutThe conversation turns to over-giving, over-servicing, and emotional exhaustion.Key themes:How silencing needs creates resentmentWhy boundaries are emotional, not intellectualAnger as an early boundary signalBoredom as a late-stage warning signBoundaries as other people's growth edgesBoth hosts share work-related examples where firmer boundaries led to more sustainable energy and better outcomes.Invisible Destroyer (The Nothing). Spiritual Bypass and EmbodimentThis section explores how spirituality and busyness can become tools for avoidance.Key insights:Toxic positivity as emotional suppressionRegulation mistaken for constant calmBusyness as grief avoidanceActivity as bypass versus activity as embodimentThe difference between thinking emotions and feeling themKristina speaks to slowing down as a path to embodiment, while Anna highlights movement and physical activation as her gateway to emotional truth.Hero Energy. Becoming EmbodiedThe episode closes by naming the hero of the Invisible Destroyer: the Embodied.Practices discussed:Slowing down to feel rather than interpretLetting emotions unfold without reframingMoving the body to access grief, anger, and joyStaying present without transcending the human experienceSeason Reflection and ClosingThe hosts reflect on the impact of the Inner Villain work over the season and the relief of stepping out of victim and villain identities altogether.The season ends not with answers, but with better questions.And with permission to be human.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Resentment doesn't always look like anger. In addiction recovery and betrayal healing, it often shows up quietly—through defensiveness, withdrawal, or feeling controlled.In Part 3 of our Resentment series, we explore:Why sharing resentment too early can emotionally burden your partnerHow resentment forms underneath shame, fear, and loss of controlThe role of emotional containment in creating real safetyWhy empathy without boundaries is harmfulHow deeper emotional work reduces defensiveness and prevents relapseChapters00:24 Understanding Resentment in Recovery02:05 Timing and Responsibility in Sharing Resentment04:13 Containment and Emotional Regulation06:14 Common Triggers of Resentment06:54 Parts Work and Internal Conflicts11:25 Empathy, Boundaries, and Emotional Maturity22:15 Grieving and Letting Go of the Past27:13 Benefits of Deep Emotional WorkRegister Now!

Some men are shaped by comfort. Others are forged in chaos. In this episode, I sit down with Kelly Siegel, founder of the Harder Than Life movement, to unpack what it actually takes to break generational cycles, rebuild trust with yourself, and lead your family with discipline and integrity—no matter where you came from.   Kelly shares his raw story of growing up in extreme abuse, addiction, and instability, and how sobriety, radical self-discipline, and daily non-negotiable routines completely transformed his life. We talk about nervous system healing, trusting yourself again, enforcing boundaries instead of talking about them, and what it looks like to be the father you never had. This conversation is intense, honest, and deeply hopeful for any man who refuses to let his past dictate his future.     Timeline Summary [0:00] Why excuses keep men stuck and how discipline breaks the cycle [1:39] Introducing Kelly Siegel and the Harder Than Life movement [2:22] Growing up in extreme chaos, abuse, and addiction [2:50] Turning trauma into fuel instead of identity [5:21] Seven years of sobriety and the decision that changed everything [7:31] Handling judgment, criticism, and online hate without losing integrity [8:55] Keeping your word to yourself when no one is watching [10:10] Childhood abuse and how it dysregulates the nervous system [12:03] Why sobriety unlocked clarity, discipline, and purpose [14:48] Cutting off toxic family relationships to protect healing [18:52] Forgiveness as freedom—not reconciliation [19:48] EMDR, hypnotherapy, and deep therapeutic work [22:03] Kelly's exact daily routine and why structure creates safety [24:26] Learning to love yourself when you never experienced it growing up [26:04] Cooking breakfast daily and building connection with his daughter [27:53] Asking better questions to deepen parent-child connection [29:38] Trusting yourself as the foundation of confidence [33:04] Boundaries vs. standards—and the power of enforcement [35:36] Why hard challenges build unshakeable self-trust [40:33] Breaking generational cycles and raising a confident daughter [45:44] Finding the gifts inside even the most painful childhoods [50:31] Why you don't owe access to people who hurt you [54:03] Strong fathers as the solution to cultural chaos [57:29] Healing yourself to heal the world     Five Key Takeaways Discipline creates freedom, especially for men who grew up in chaos.  Trust is built by keeping promises to yourself, not by motivation or hype.  Boundaries only work when they're enforced, not just talked about.  Healing your nervous system changes how you lead, parent, and love.  You can break generational cycles, even if no one modeled it for you.      Links & Resources Kelly Siegel on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kelly.siegel.71/ Kelly Siegel on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/officialkellysiegel Kelly Siegel on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-siegel-0146a3/ Harder Than Life Podcast: https://www.harderthanlife.com/podcasts/ Episode Show Notes & Resources: https://thedadedge.com/1437     Closing Remark   If this episode challenged you to stop making excuses and start keeping promises to yourself, please rate, review, follow, and share the podcast. Your past does not define you—but your daily discipline will. From my heart to yours, go out and live legendary.

In Season 4, Episode 6 of the 2 Be Better Podcast, Chris and Peaches dive into a rapid fire relationship email Q&A packed with blunt, practical relationship advice, marriage advice, and dating guidance. You'll hear real listener situations, real talk responses, and clear next steps for couples communication, emotional regulation, and rebuilding trust when things feel shaky at home. This episode hits trust issues around a hidden $34,000 purchase and what it actually takes to repair safety after deception, plus how to set healthy financial boundaries before marriage. They also tackle a boyfriend wanting to sign a best friend's child's birth certificate, an invasive mother-in-law with zero boundaries, and what leadership and loyalty should look like inside a marriage. You'll also get sharp perspective on disrespect in relationships, being ignored in public, and what to do when a breakup exposes patterns like mood swings, resentment, and poor coping habits, so you can stop repeating the same cycle and start building a healthier relationship.Disclaimer: We are not professionals. This podcast is opinioned based and from life experience. This is for entertainment purposes only. Opinions helped by our guests may not reflect our own. But we love a good conversation.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/2-be-better--5828421/support.

Day 2 of Heart Renewal: Letting Love In Again follows the arc of Rest—softening emotional bracing so your heart can feel lighter and safer to open. In this episode, you'll use a simple affirmation—"I release what's heavy"—to interrupt the stress loop of overthinking, tension, and vigilance that can linger after heartbreak or relationship strain. You'll learn how rest supports your nervous system, why gentle repetition can shift your internal state, and how to stop carrying the full weight of love in your body all day. Leave this practice feeling calmer, lighter, and more emotionally spacious—ready to let love in again without forcing it. Featured technique: Affirmation + resting attention Best for: emotional heaviness, rumination, guardedness, uncertainty in love Takeaway: You don't have to solve the whole story to feel relief—you can release what's heavy one breath at a time. ABOUT THIS WEEK'S SERIES Welcome to Heart Renewal: Letting Love In Again—a 7-day meditation series designed to help you gently reopen your heart with both tenderness and wisdom. Whether you're seeking a relationship or you're in one and love feels distant, this week will guide you to release what you've been carrying, calm your nervous system, rebuild emotional safety, and create the inner conditions where love can return—without forcing it. Each day follows a simple arc—Release, Safety, Desire, Boundaries, Receiving, Repair, and Choose Again—with breathwork, visualization, and reflective prompts to help you soften protective patterns, trust yourself again, and feel more open to giving and receiving love in real life. This is day 2 of a 7-day meditation series, "Heart Renewal Meditations: Letting Love In Again,"  episodes 3358-3364. THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE - LOVE IN PRACTICE QUEST: Each day, do one small "letting love in" action— release something heavy, soften your body, express an honest desire, set a gentle boundary, receive without deflecting, make a repair, or choose again. Track it with 7 checkmarks and notice how quickly your heart starts to feel safer, steadier, and more open. THIS WEEK'S MEDITATION JOURNEY  Day 1:  Renewal Visualization Day 2:  Affirmation: "I release what's heavy." Day 3:  Let Go Breath: inhale 4, exhale 8 (or 4/6), do for 8 rounds Day 4:  Apana mudra for purification Day 5:  Fourth chakra for love and gratitude Day 6:  Love Flow meditation, combining the week's techniques Day 7:  Weekly review meditation and closure SHARE YOUR MEDITATION JOURNEY WITH YOUR FELLOW MEDITATORS Let's connect and inspire each other! Please share a little about how meditation has helped you by reaching out to me at Mary@SipandOm.com or better yet -- direct message me on https://www.instagram.com/sip.and.om. We'd love to hear about your meditation ritual!  WAYS TO SUPPORT THE DAILY MEDITATION PODCAST SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode. Consistency is the KEY to a successful meditation ritual. SHARE the podcast with someone who could use a little extra support. I'd be honored if you left me a podcast review. If you do, please email me at Mary@sipandom.com and let me know a little about yourself and how meditation has helped you. I'd love to share your journey to inspire fellow meditators on the podcast! All meditations are created by Mary Meckley and are her original content. Please request permission to use any of Mary's content by sending an email to Mary@sipandom.com. FOR DAILY EXTRA SUPPORT OUTSIDE THE PODCAST Each day's meditation techniques are shared at: sip.and.om Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sip.and.om/ sip and om Facebook https://www.facebook.com/SipandOm/ SIP AND OM MEDITATION APP Looking for a little more support? If you're ready for a more in-depth meditation experience, allow Mary to guide you in daily 30-minute guided meditations on the Sip and Om meditation app. Give it a whirl for 7-days free! Receive access to 3,000+ 30-minute guided meditations customized around a weekly theme to help you manage emotions. Receive a Clarity Journal and a Slow Down Guide customized for each weekly theme.  2-Week's Free Access on iOS https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/sip-and-om/id1216664612?platform=iphone&preserveScrollPosition=true#platform/iphone All meditations are created by Mary Meckley and are her original content. Please request permission to use any of Mary's content by sending an email to Mary@sipandom.com.Let go of repetitive negative thoughts. Music composed by Christopher Lloyd Clark licensed by RoyaltyFreeMusic.com, and also by musician Greg Keller.

In this thought-provoking episode of the Secret Life Podcast, host Brianne Davis-Gantt introduces the intriguing concept of "flying monkeys" in the context of narcissistic relationships. Drawing inspiration from the iconic film "The Wizard of Oz," Brianne explains how these individuals—often friends, family members, or colleagues—act on behalf of narcissists to inflict emotional distress on their victims. She candidly discusses her own experiences and insights into the dynamics of manipulation, control, and the insidious nature of these flying monkeys.Throughout the episode, Brianne breaks down the characteristics of flying monkeys, their motivations, and the tactics they employ to uphold the narcissist's agenda. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of how these enablers contribute to the cycle of abuse and the psychological impact on the targeted individual. With a blend of empathy and expertise, Brianne encourages those affected to recognize these behaviors and take steps to protect themselves.This episode serves as a crucial reminder of the importance of setting boundaries and finding supportive allies while navigating the complexities of relationships with narcissists and their flying monkeys. Join Brianne as she empowers you to reclaim your narrative and avoid becoming a pawn in someone else's game.

For many people with a history of chronic stress, attachment wounds, or complex trauma, boundaries don't land as neutral information — they register in the nervous system as abandonment, threat, or loss of connection. In this episode of Trauma Rewired, we explore why that happens and what it actually takes to rewire those responses at the level that matters most: the body. This conversation reframes boundaries not as walls, ultimatums, or communication strategies, but as a nervous system skill that emerges from regulation, capacity, and internal coherence. Together with our guest, we unpack why setting boundaries from anger can feel easier than setting them from truth, why receiving boundaries can activate shame or collapse, and how post-traumatic growth allows boundaries to become a source of safety rather than disconnection. If you've ever understood boundaries intellectually but struggled to live them relationally, this episode offers a deeper, more compassionate lens — one rooted in neuroscience, somatics, and the lived process of healing. In this episode of Trauma Rewired, co-hosts Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof are joined by Margy Feldhuhn, co-owner of Brain-Based Wellness, for a grounded, practical conversation about boundaries. The conversation addresses why boundaries can feel threatening for people with relational or developmental trauma, how control dynamics get confused with protection, and what it looks like to set limits without shame, punishment, or power struggles. Whether you struggle to set boundaries, feel triggered by others' boundaries, or worry about being "too much," this episode offers language and perspective that supports safety rather than disconnection. Chapters 00:00 – Intro/Why boundaries often get mislabeled as control 07:42 – Trauma, power, and the nervous system's role in boundaries 15:30 – The difference between protective limits and coercion 24:10 – Why boundaries can feel unsafe or activating 33:45 – Common boundary mistakes rooted in trauma responses 44:20 – What healthy, non-controlling boundaries actually look like Calls to Action

Special Patreon Release: Emotionally Healthy Familial Relationships with Cherilyn Orr   "bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4b (KJV)   *Transcription Below*   Cherilyn Orr is passionate about helping parents, teachers, and guardians raise emotionally healthy and resilient children. She has worked with families and educators in North America, Europe, and Africa to help them build safe schools, homes, and communities where children can flourish. The Stoplight Approach that she developed was born out of her experiences as an educator, a foster mom, and a mom to seven through birth and adoption, and it combines biblical truths with the latest brain science. Connect with her on her Website, Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube.   Topics and Questions We Cover: What are a few helpful tips for us to understand brain science 101? How can we repair the relationship when we don't disciple and discipline from our Green zone? Within the stoplight approach, can you provide some examples of how we can calm a red-rooted misbehavior?   Thank You to Our Sponsors: Chick-fil-A East Peoria and The Savvy Sauce Charities (and donate online here)   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”   Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”   Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”   Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”   John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:09)   Laura Dugger: (0:09 - 2:07) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   I want to say a huge thank you to today's sponsors for this episode, Chick-fil-A East Peoria and Savvy Sauce Charities.   Are you interested in a free college education for you or someone you know? Stay tuned for details coming later in this episode from today's sponsor, Chick-fil-A East Peoria. You can also visit their website today at Chick-fil-A.com/EastPeoria.   If you've been with us long, you know this podcast is only one piece of our nonprofit, which is the Savvy Sauce Charities. Don't miss out on our other resources. We have questions and content to inspire you to have your own practical chats for intentional living.   And I also hope you don't miss out on the opportunity to financially support us through your tax-deductible donations. All this information can be found on our recently updated website, TheSavvySauce.com.   Cherilyn Orr is my guest today. She is kind and humble and a woman who's passionate about helping parents, teachers, and guardians raise emotionally healthy and resilient children. She's going to share how she combines biblical truths with the latest brain science to build healthy relationships in the family. Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Cherilyn.   Cherilyn Orr: (2:07 - 2:08) Thank you. I'm really happy to join you today.   Laura Dugger: (2:08 - 2:10) And will you start by just giving us a snapshot of your life right now?   Cherilyn Orr: (2:08 - 3:11) Yes, I am actually talking to you from Athens, Greece. That is where our family resides right now. And we've been here for the last few years. And before that, we lived in Uganda and Africa.   I have seven children and my oldest is now a mom herself. And she just gave birth a couple months ago to a preemie little baby. And I am so excited because now I have entered the world of grandparenthood.   But I'm also in the throes of life with a 12-year-old, a 14-year-old, and a 17-year-old. And I have a university student living at home. My next son is 21, and he's also living at home, going to university. So those are my four at home.   I have one in Canada, working there. And I have two that are married. One that lives in Africa with his wife, and they're working there. And another one with my grandbaby that's living here in Greece, working with the church here.   Laura Dugger: (3:12 - 3:19) That is quite a full family and a global family. What has taken you to the different parts of the world?   Cherilyn Orr: (3:20 - 3:44) Well, we are a missional family. But we believe that everybody's called to be a missional and to serve God. And God happens to have taken us to different places.   I've been working with The Stoplight Approach now for a few years now. My husband does leadership training as well. So that's kind of what's taken us around the world. Now that we're in Greece, I'm also involved with refugees as well here.   Laura Dugger: (3:45 - 4:06) Well, we are fortunate to live in a time with access to scientific knowledge about the brain. And it all points back to our brilliant Creator, God. But you make this brain science so simple to comprehend. So, can you just share a few helpful tips for us so that we can understand kind of brain science 101?   Cherilyn Orr: (4:08 - 6:40) Yes, I think for me, it's been a journey. But it came when after we adopted a child and she was having an all-out meltdown. And it would have taken me an hour or so to regroup her.   And it was just amazing. I was with a friend and she is a behavioral consultant. And she said, “Let me.” And this was after we had had her for at least a couple of years at this point. And she just said, “Let me.”   And she got down on the ground where my child was screaming hysterically. And she was able to get her back sitting on her seat, doing what she was supposed to in less than, I don't know, 10 minutes.   And I was shocked because here I am an educator. I have a master's degree. I'm a special needs teacher. I have been working for years with children in different settings around the world. And here I was looking at her doing something that I just didn't know how to do.   It was a huge paradigm shift for me when she said afterwards, I said, “What did you do?”   And she said, “It's by understanding the brain. The brain is like three parts. It's like a stoplight.”   So, she said, if you can think of it that way, as there's that bottom part of your brain, which is that fight, flight, freeze. When you are just only using 50% of your capacity and you just can't hear anybody's perspective.   And then there's that middle part of your brain, which is the limbic system. And she said, you know, that's when you're using 75% or so of your brain capacity. And that's when you're stressed, you're worried, you're anxious, and you're just not at your best.   And then there's your top part of your brain, which is your neocortex, which you are just ready to learn. And you can problem solve and you can think and you are the best version of yourself at that moment.   And she talked to me a little bit about that. And she's just said, this is what's happening in your brain. For me, that was a wow, you know, because it's like understanding the brain is so opposite than anything that I had ever done. And as an educator, I've been trained to control children. I've taken courses on behavior management. And this was just like changing the equation. When you understand the brain, then it changes how you can relate to the child in your care.   Laura Dugger: (6:41 - 7:05) And also, I will just sprinkle in a few little things that I found fascinating in your book. One of your conclusions was that relationships are the biggest factor in brain development and for it to develop in a healthy way. So, is that what you found true throughout the years of our life, that relationships are vital?   Cherilyn Orr: (7:05 - 8:02) It's for everybody. And it needs to start with that relationship. And that relationship has what I would say three pillars, which is safety, which is your red brain. In order to come out of that fight, flight or freeze, you have to feel safe.   And in order to come out of yellow brain, which is your limbic system, you need to feel connected and you need to feel respected. And respect means to be seen, heard and valued. And when you're in that yellow brain state, you don't feel connected. You feel disconnected.   So, in order to get people to green brain, you need to make them feel seen, heard and valued. So, if we want healthy relationships and we want green home, then we need to be able to help our children get to that green brain state. But it starts by making them feel safe and making them feel connected. So, relationship is foundational.   Laura Dugger: (8:02 - 8:24) And you've combined your knowledge of the Bible and all of this brain science to write a book entitled Signals: How Brain Science and the Bible Help Parents Raise Resilient Children. So, will you elaborate now on that Stoplight Approach that you teach and write about?   Cherilyn Orr: (8:27 - 11:10) Well, yes, I am so excited because we just looked at, you know, those three elements, safety, respect and being connected, and then we could teach it. And when we look at the Bible and we say, “How does God view me and how does He work with me?”   I go back to the fact is when God sees me in my mess ups and He sees my anger or my gossip or my addictions or whatever I'm struggling with. He looks at me and He says, “Come to me. I am your safety. I am your refuge.”   He wants us to bring Him our messes. He says, “Come to me just as you are, not as you want to be, not as you should be and not as you could be.” And in that context, He says, “I delight in you. I know you. I know every hair on your head. I know you. I know your name and I love you. You are in the palm of my hand and I delight in you.”   And Zephaniah talks about and He sings over us, not because we've done something, not because we're worthy, because He knows that unless we feel safe and unless we are in that connection and can relationship with them, then He cannot help us to train us and to walk with us and guide us through the process of growing and becoming that healthy person that He desires for us to be.   So, I was so excited when I looked at who God is and how it matches with what brain science is teaching us about red, yellow, green and how we can't teach anybody. It takes 12 to 15 times to teach a child a new skill when they are in green. That same child, that same skill when he's there in red will take 350 to 400 times because that is not the part of the brain where you can do problem solving or critical thinking or even to have empathy for anybody else. That part of the brain can only do rote learning. So, it will take you so long to teach a child when they're in that part of the brain.   And I love it because that obedience is an outflowing of a relationship with us, with God. And when we look at our child, that's what we want is we don't want them to obey us because they fear us, but we want them to obey us because they are connected to us. Just like God wants us to obey Him in that relationship, not because it's the rule and that's what we need to do.   So, I'm so excited to see how that brain science is catching up to who God is.   Laura Dugger: (11:11 - 12:07) Oh, my goodness. That is amazing to also just think of the Lord as obviously our parent and we want to model after Him. Some of this is reminding me there was a previous episode with Dr. Josh and Christy Straub where they were looking at research findings about parenting. And one of them was that it was so important for us to be self-regulated when we're responding to our children. And there's a connection.   So, in your book, I'm just going to read this one quote from page 56. You wrote, “One of the most shocking things I realized as I learned about brain science was that it is impossible to make a child feel loved when the parent is in yellow or red. They feel our stress. They feel our disapproval.” And so, would you like to elaborate on that as well?   Cherilyn Orr: (12:09 - 13:41) Well, we have this thing that we talk a lot about in The Stoplight Approach. We talk about the stoplight starts with me. You cannot give what you don't have.   So many parents will say, “I love my child,” but the child does not feel loved. And when I was doing seminars and training throughout North America, you know, often people say, “We are a yellow society.” And that broke my heart.   We are a yellow society. We're running our kids at five in the morning to this program, to hockey or this or programs late at night. And we're just running.   And I feel like if we are yellow and we are stressed, then there is automatically a disconnect. There's almost like a gate that says, do not enter. You can't go through it unless you are in green.   You're in red, then your whole house turns to red. Mama's in red, everybody's in red. Or if you're in yellow, you'll start to see the children in your care are in yellow.   And I find that in my house. When I start to see my house going to that yellow space, I start to have to do like, what color am I in? If I'm in yellow, then they're going to be in yellow. And you start to see them fighting amongst themselves or bickering or just not cooperating. And there's that tension that comes because they're picking up my yellowness and my stress.   Laura Dugger: (13:42 - 14:04) And so, let's go a little bit further with that scenario. If parents are in a very stressful season and there are quite a few to-do's that have to get done on top of the daily things. If that parent identifies they are in the yellow, maybe in the red, how can they get back to green even in the midst of a crazy time of life?   Cherilyn Orr: (14:06 - 16:26) Well, you know, you don't have to be perfect. You don't have to be a perfect parent. But what science is showing us and it's what God wants from us is that sense of repair. We need to look at how do we repair because that's what our child needs because life is not perfect and we are not perfect. And I am certainly far from being a perfect parent. But how do I repair the damage and how do I connect?   So, we call it fix it, treasure it and change it. So, fix it is: Yes, I am sorry. Mommy yelled at you. I am so sorry I did that. I was in yellow and I was really stressed. Would you forgive me? I love you and you did not deserve me to yell at you. I care about you and I did not handle that appropriately.   And I want you to help me. This is what I've said to my children. I want you to help me when I'm going to red or I'm going to yellow. Just remind me and say, “Mom, you're going to yellow.” And then that can help me to make some changes right then and create that gap so that I'm not reacting. Or maybe I could take a walk or maybe I could get myself back to green.   When I react in that yellow or red brain state, it's not safe for you. It's not safe for others. So, let's work together on this.   And then we can talk about maybe what was happening in our house at that time as well. And maybe how they can help things to go smoother in our house. So that they could take some responsibility in helping because Mommy didn't feel seen, heard and valued. You know, I had asked you five times to do that. So how do we work together to make this house run smoother?   So being red and yellow are not bad things. It's not like you are horrible because you went to red and yellow. It's warning. It's like an alarm going off to say, be careful, be careful.   It's an opportunity to reflect and say, what's not working here? What's the deeper issue here? Yes, maybe I was overtired and maybe I did this. But what else is going on? And I may need to look back on things that maybe are triggering me that are deeper. And maybe things that relate back to my own childhood or how I was raised.   Laura Dugger: (16:26 - 16:52) That makes a lot of sense, that reflection. Because I studied psychology and marriage and family therapy. And we were always taught, name it to tame it. And sometimes that really does help when we can pinpoint and identify and name. What is that trigger? It helps to tame it. And I think the biblical concept is when you share it with somebody else, when you bring it into the light, it does lose a lot of its power.   Cherilyn Orr: (16:53 - 17:46) Definitely. Because if I can say I'm in red, it helps me know what I need to do to get myself back to green. So, if I can start to recognize when my body is starting to get tense, when I'm starting to get stressed, I can say, oh, this is my warning. I need to do this. I need to have a shower. I need to go for a walk. I need to regroup myself so that I'm not reacting to my children in my red brain state. I can get myself back to green first. So, I can create that gap.   So, naming it, that's what I think the success of Stoplight is. It's the common language that says how do we help each other when we are moving to yellow and we are moving to red so that everybody in the family knows that red is not bad, but how do we help that person in their red to get back to green?   Laura Dugger: (17:48 - 17:52) What is the Stoplight Approach to discipline and boundaries?   Cherilyn Orr: (17:54 - 22:32) Well, sometimes people think, oh, is The Stoplight Approach permissive? You know, we just let kids do what they want and let them be in green. If anybody has multiple children, you know that if one child is being self-centered and they're in their own world, it's going to create chaos for the rest of the family.   And so, Stoplight is not about permissiveness. And I think we need to be looking at the word discipline comes from the word disciple, which means to train. If you can kind of get that word discipline, because so often we've mixed that word discipline with punishment. So, it's all about punishing a child, whereas actually discipline is not about punishing. It's about training a child.   And everybody, every child needs boundaries. Boundaries help to keep us safe. They help to keep our family safe. It helps to keep that relationships in a healthy way.   So, we often use that word to look at how do we as parents, we've always got boundaries. Don't run in the road. We want to keep you safe. Don't touch the hot stove because you'll burn yourself. So, we look for ways to keep our child safe, and we look for ways to help them be safe in relationships. Yes, you want that ball, but you don't hit the other child to get the ball. So, what could we do differently?   Proverbs 13:24 is a common phrase that I grew up hearing. It was kind of like the parenting theology of my generation. “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but who loves him diligently disciplines him.”   So that was a verse that I heard a lot in my life. But then as I was studying and looking at brain science and really studying about who is God. And I had to look at what is my image of God? Is He this harsh judge up there that maybe subconsciously I believed? Or is He that loving father like the prodigal son that's waiting for his son? Not to punish him, but to love him and to connect with him. And it says in the New Testament, Jesus says, if you've seen him, you've seen the Father. So, He's a good, good father.   So, then I started to dissect this. What is the rod used for? And it talks about the rod being a comfort and a rod being a sense of protection. And we often hear it used in relationships to sheep. You know, if we're going to keep sheep safe, then we need the rod. That shepherd used a rod to protect his sheep from wild animals. So, as we look at that word rod, it's a protection tool.   So, we take apart that and then hates his son. I think, wow, a parent that does not protect their child or teaches their child to be aware of the dangers in this world. So, as a young child, you're protecting them and teaching them to make safe choices. And then as they get older, you still have to continually, continually teach them that. And so, when I look at that word rod and hates his son, that would be a neglectful. In my words, a parent who is neglectful to teach.   The second verse talks about diligently. And that reminds me in Deuteronomy, when we're told to teach our children all through the day, when we're walking, when we're sitting, when we're at mealtimes. We should be using our days to continually teach our children and to discipline them, which would be to train them in the way that they should go.   And I look at God as our creator of our brain. And He loves us so very, very much. And He wants the very best for us. And we know that children and human beings do better when they feel better. So how do we connect with our child? How do we protect our children? And how do we take that opportunity to be present with our child?   Those are hard things for a lot of parents these days to be present, to be engaged with them and to look for ways to continually be working with them and protecting them and keeping them safe.   Laura Dugger: (22:33 - 22:58) Wow. And I just want to share one of my favorite takeaways from page 143, where you write “Green rooted misbehavior needs coaching. Yellow roots need connection. And red roots need calming.” So, can you provide some examples with that last one of how we can calm a red rooted misbehavior?   Cherilyn Orr: (23:00 - 27:00) Yes, I certainly can. So, all three of these are so important because we often miss it. I'm going to say that red root, it needs us to speak the red language, speak red brain. And to speak red brain means to stop talking about the problem.   That child does not have capacity to hear you when they are in a red brain state. They need me to be calm. They need me to be in green. And they need me to stop talking. And maybe to only use words that feel safe. You're safe. I'm here. You're safe. I'm here. There's no point in talking to anybody in red brain because they have no capacity to hear.   And then also to be able to go for a walk with your child. Repetitive patterning activities are really helpful. Like for my children, each of my children have, they have a green plan. It's like, what do I do when I'm starting to go to red?   So maybe for one of my children, we have a hammock outside. So, she goes there. These are planned ahead of time when they are in green. These are discussed ahead of time. So, another child will, you know, might listen to music, have a shower, go for a walk. Every single one of us, whether it be an adult or child, should look at what do I need to do to get back to green.   As a parent, when we're looking at green rooted misbehaviors, red rooted misbehaviors and yellow roots misbehaviors, you could have the same issue like two kids fighting. You come around the corner and there you see your two siblings fighting. As a parent, often we go to red immediately. Our brain state goes because it feels threatening. It feels fearful to us. And then we react.   So, I have to take a deep breath myself and I have to say, OK, what brain state is this child in? And sometimes we don't know. So, we can call the children and say, what's going on? Just stopping and asking the question will give us the opportunity to hear what brain state our child is in.   If they happily look it up and say, we were playing Pirates of the Caribbean or something that they had seen on a TV show, then you can say, OK, well, what you're doing is unsafe and somebody is going to get hurt. But they're just acting.   And then if it's a yellow brain state, it's like he pushed me, he touched me. And they're just kind of bickering at each other. They're not really all out fighting. But, you know, you can look at them and say, let's stop and let's make each other feel seen, heard and valued. So, you can work with that child because that child at that point is in yellow brain. And then we can speak yellow brain, which is people don't feel that they're being heard. They don't feel respected. And that's when you can talk about what other things that they could do instead.   And then, of course, we have red brain when these children are all out to hurt each other. They are mad. So that's when we can go into that red brain and say, OK, both of you need to get back to green. We're not going to talk about this right now. I want you to use your green plan and get yourselves back to green. And then we will talk.   Some children can do that independently and some children need you to do it with them. And sometimes it might be that you just take those two children out and say, we're going to run around the block together.” And it's how do you connect with your child at that particular time and keep them safe and get them moving and get their brain state back up to green before you talk with them.   Laura Dugger: (27:01 - 32:37) And now a brief message from our sponsor. Did you know you can go to college tuition free just by being a team member at Chick-fil-A East Peoria? 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Another way to find it is simply type in donate to the search bar on our website and just click the first picture shown.   We are all about sharing around here, sharing resources, sharing joy, and sharing the good news about Jesus Christ. We ask that you also will share by sharing financially, sharing the Savvy Sauce podcast episodes, and sharing a five-star rating and review. You can also share any of our social media posts on Instagram or Facebook. We are grateful for all of it, and we just love partnering together with you.   Now, back to the show. And then on our side, I love how you also bring in the repair piece. So how can we practically repair the relationship when we don't disciple and discipline from our green zone as the parent?   Cherilyn Orr: (32:38 - 34:39) Yes, I feel like that is, it's really hard to ask your child to do anything that you're not doing because they're not going to actually be able to take that to heart. And if you say to a child, “I want you to say sorry to your sibling,” they're just going to look and go, “Sorry,” and have no meaning whatsoever.   And that's why we've done a lot of apology notes in my home over the years, because it's an opportunity to really sit down and reflect and talk. And we talk about how the card needs to be beautiful because we need to treasure that person. And so, they need to apologize for what they did. They need to talk about why on earth are they even writing this apology note? Why is that person of value? Because they're our sister or they're our brother or they're our friend or they're the teacher or the coach. And they are a part of our community and our family. So, we need to write that apology note to value that person.   And then we talk about what are we going to do next time. So those three points go into every single apology note my kids write: fix it, treasure it, change it. But you cannot do that when the child is in red. You cannot do it when they're in yellow. You need to have them back to green and then we can talk through it. And then they can go and deliver that to that person and then talk about how they can reconcile the situation. But I find that that's a really good reflective piece that I've used over the years.   But as a parent, it's hard to say sorry to your kid. It's easier to jump in and just treasure the child. You know, let's go to the park. Let's do this and just value the child. But then you end up having an insecure relationship because you've never acknowledged the problem. Therefore, you cannot change it. So therefore, you cannot have a healthy reconciliation.   Laura Dugger: (34:40 - 34:57) And how have you seen this Stoplight Approach work across the world? So many different settings with different countries and cultures or families who foster and adapt or even ones raising children with special needs?   Cherilyn Orr: (34:59 - 36:53) Well, the great thing about science is it doesn't change based on where you are in the world and what culture you're in. Every human has a brain, and all human brains function the same way. And all human brains need safety, connection and coaching.   So that's been the exciting part about understanding brain science. So, you know, even when I work in Africa, I'll say to people when I get malaria, do they give me a different medication because I'm from Canada or do they give me the same as you? And everybody says, of course, malaria is malaria. You know, it's because of science.   And I love that whole element of science that our brains are made the same. It doesn't matter what culture you're in and it doesn't matter what special needs you have. If I see a child and they're under the table and they're holding their ears, I might not know that child at all. But I know that that child is in red brain. I don't have to know if they're special needs. I don't have to know anything else. I can immediately diagnose what brain state that child is in. And then I can work at creating safety for that child. And connecting with that child. And then we can find out how do we move that child and work with that child, whatever their needs are.   And I have four adopted children, and I have fostered many children. In the process of doing that, I have recognized that every child needs to feel safe, connected, and then we can train them. So, it's like changing the equation for how we work with the children. But it works for all people. So, I don't have to have a different philosophy of parenting for my adopted child or my foster child or my biological children. Does that make sense?   Laura Dugger: (36:53 - 37:03) Yes, absolutely. And to personalize it, how has The Stoplight Approach then worked in your life and with you and your husband raising your own children?   Cherilyn Orr: (37:05 - 41:32) I just love the fact that it's a common language. So, I can give you an example of one day there was company coming and I was really stressed. And it seemed like everywhere I looked; every room was a disaster. You know, I had teenagers who were cooking and making themselves food and it was a mess. I had children that had used the bathroom and made a mess all through the bathroom. And then I had toys everywhere and sheets being made into forts. And I had company showing up.   And so, I was going into to Red Brain and I started going, “Who did this? What did you do? Who left this here? Who made this mess?” And one of my kids went and says, “Dad, mom's going to Red.” And that wasn't a judgment. That was like, this is a fact. We need your help here.   And so, dad comes along and he says, he puts his hand on my shoulder and he says, “You're going to Red.” He says, “Why don't you go for a walk? I'll do zone cleanup with the kids because I'm in green. And you can come back in 20 minutes and then you can do all the final tidy up before the kids come. And then that we could greet the company and green.”   So, it just becomes that common language of understanding. And he knew my need at that time. I was feeling unsafe because the house was a disaster. And my brain just was it's a brain issue, right? It's not a behavior issue. But then it was like, how do we support mom in this moment? And then I came back 20 minutes later and did the final little cleanups, and we were able to greet the company in green.   So, there's an example of using the common language as a way to help others in our family know what brain state you're in to support one another. And to be able to identify and connect.   I mean, I could give you tons of examples, even from the smallest child. They start to understand. “He made me go to red” or “I'm in red now.” So, then it's like, OK, so what do we need to do? How do we do this?   I mean, there's been days when all of a sudden I hear everybody kind of not doing too great. And I get them all to sit at the table. And I said, “So what color is our home right now?” And somebody say red. Somebody else says yellow. Then you're saying, “OK, but what kind of home do we want to have?” And they'll say green. So, what do we need to do to get it to green?   So, I think there's there's many, many different ways. But I think it's that common language that even the small child that's two and three can start to learn when they're in red or we can start to use it to teach empathy. When you did that to your sibling, what color did we make him? He didn't feel seen, heard and valued.   Just a few weeks ago, my daughter. Here's here's a recent example. We've had a refugee staying with us for a couple of years, a little girl, and she was about three. All of a sudden there was this blood curdling screaming, you know, just screaming. And I come around the corner going, “What's going on?” And my 12-year-old, very responsible, is holding scissors. She's running with scissors.   And so, my 12-year-old here was a chance to talk. And I said, “OK, so when you took her scissors away, she did not feel seen, heard and valued. Because when you took them away from her, you didn't actually speak to her. So, you need to get down on your knees, and you need to look at her and say, what did you want the scissors for? And we need to teach her. Where do we have scissors? How do we use them?”   So, she was being responsible to keep her safe. But she didn't make her feel seen, heard and valued and listen to her and say, “Oh, you want to cut your hair. Oh, only mommy cuts hair. You can't cut your hair, but we could use our scissors at the table.” So, using red, yellow and green helps to give incredible opportunities to teach empathy and to look at themselves, self-awareness and how to grow and take responsibility.   Laura Dugger: (41:34 - 42:06) And I love how you talk about this common language in such a proactive way with our children, with our families. So that when we are in red, we've got a path and a plan to get back to green. And we've got some tips for repair.   So, when we go to the proactive side and kind of tie this back into the beginning, when we talked about relationships are the foundation for brain health and development. What are some ways to securely attach with our children during different ages and stages?   Cherilyn Orr: (42:08 - 45:54) I think it comes back to being intentional. I often think of it as the 5-10-5 rule. Five minutes in the morning, five minutes in the evening and five minutes before they go to bed at night. It's that opportunity to stop what you're doing and to just focus in intentionally connecting with my child.   It's not easy. It's not easy. But it's how do I connect first thing in the morning when that child has been disconnected from me all night long? How do I connect with them first thing in the morning before they start their day? And then how do I connect with them like after school, before dinner? And how do I hear about what they want to tell me about their day? What part was red? What part was yellow? What kind of day they had?   One of my kids goes, “It was lime green.” And I'm like, “Okay, so how did that happen?”   “Well, I was in green and then I lost my backpack. So, I went to yellow, but then the teacher helped me find it. So, then I went back to green.” So that's how she described her day.   And then you have that connecting before they go to bed at night. That's just like, I see you, I know you, I hear you.   And so that can look differently according to different ages and stages of life. But I think holding that 5-10-5 is a good principle. And there are so many of my children that that 5-10-5 happens in hours and hours. Because they are children that demand my attention. And they are there and they are wanting that continual attention. So, some kids it happens more naturally too.   And then there are some children, and especially as they start getting older, it's a lot more challenging to be able to find that 5-10-5. And that doesn't mean in the busyness of the dinner table or in chore times. But it's about trying to connect with them and say, “I hear you. Tell me about your life. And where are you at?” Or just really just having fun with them. And just connecting to them and laughing with them and playing a game with them as well. Or going for a walk. We do a lot of that.   And with teenagers, and especially boys, it was all about the food. I would show up in their room with a milkshake or something else. Or call them out of their rooms to connect with them at different times. So, you have to be creative. It's not about my schedule sometimes. It's about looking at when they are open as well. Especially as you start getting into teenagers.   And I found that one of my teenagers, she'd always like to come and sit on my bed. Just at 11 o'clock at night. Just as I feel like I'm down for the night. And you know that baby is going to start waking up at 6 or 7. And you're just dying to go to sleep. But you know that this is important. She's ready to talk. And so, I need to be available.   Which isn't easy. But also, I think, how do we do that with seven children? Because that's a lot of kids. But my husband and I, we look at dividing and conquering. And then we look at special times. Like daddy time. Or going out with mom. Where I'll take one child to do a chore. Or go shopping. And I think that is really important to think about. How am I intentionally connecting with my child? So, I took a child to Canada recently. And I often will take a different child on different trips that I'm going on.   Laura Dugger: (45:55 - 46:15) Okay, so five minutes right in the morning. Greeting each other. Five minutes before bed. And finding ten minutes of intentional time to connect. Is that one-on-one throughout the day?   Cherilyn Orr: Yes.   Laura Dugger: You've given us so many helpful tips to apply. Is there any other encouragement that you want to make sure that we don't miss out on?   Cherilyn Orr: (46:16 - 47:52) I think when you hear a lot of these stories. First of all, I want you to know that I am not perfect. As a mom, it's a journey. And I don't want you to go away feeling like, I could never do all this. It's a journey one baby step at a time. And I encourage you to get the book. Listen to podcasts. And be able to join that journey. But don't be hard on yourself. And don't feel that sense of guilt and shame. That says, oh my, I messed up. That's okay.   Being able to recognize you messed up is a good thing. And also recognize that you think, oh man, I messed up on my kids. I did all the wrong things. I want to tell you that we all do the best we can with the knowledge that we have. And that's really, really important to know. It's like, this is a journey. And you are doing the best.   I learned all about behavior management. How do I control my child's behavior? And that was how I parented when I started this journey. And it has been a journey to shift into brain science. And to learn as much as I can about the brain science. And how it impacts my child. And to grow and be the parent that God wants me to be. But don't be hard on yourself in that way. That would be my biggest thing is. And to take one baby step. To decide one baby step that you take.   Laura Dugger: (47:52 - 47:57) And where can people find and learn more from you online?   Cherilyn Orr: (47:58 - 48:14) Well, look at the StoplightApproach.org. So that is our website. And you can follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube. And you can preorder and sign up for your book (Signals: How Brain Science and the Bible Help Parents Raise Resilient Children). You can get that on Amazon.   Laura Dugger: (48:15 - 48:32) Wonderful. We will add those links to the show notes for today's episode. And Cherilyn, you may know we are called The Savvy Sauce. Because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so is my final question for you today. What is your Savvy Sauce?   Cherilyn Orr: (48:33 - 48:55) I would say that it's not about controlling behavior. It's about connecting with my child. Relationship first rather than behavior first. It's like changing the equation. Relationship is the key. And everything else will flow out of that. And then if you can think of change the brain. Then you'll be able to change the behavior.   Laura Dugger: (48:56 – 49:20) Oh, I love that. That is memorable. And I really appreciate your emphasis on relationship. And it's so helpful to hear your stories of how this has played out over time. And cultures. And how we can now take this common language into our own homes. So, Cherilyn, thank you so much for sharing this research. And your book with us. And thank you for being my guest today.   Cherilyn Orr: (49:21 – 49:23) Thank you for having me.   Laura Dugger: (49:24 – 53:06) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

This week on Two Parents & A Podcast, we're back with Dr. Ari Brown - board-certified pediatrician and author of the bestselling 411 series - for The 411 on TODDLER DISCIPLINE. And just like last time, she comes in with the calm, practical answers we all need when our toddlers are… doing the most. We start with the big foundational question: what “discipline” actually means (spoiler: it's teaching NOT punishment) and when it realistically begins. Dr. Ari breaks down the cues that your toddler is ready to be “taught”, why pushback is developmentally normal, and how consistency matters way more than finding the “perfect” consequence. Then we get into the “IS IT NORMAL?!” greatest hits: biting, hitting, head-banging, and public tantrums - what's actually going on in their brains, what to do in the moment, and the #1 thing parents should avoid (even though it's everyone's instinct). We also talk self-regulation, why toddlers borrow our nervous systems, and the biggest mistake parents make when they start trying to “discipline” for the first time: expecting instant results. We also dig into the classic strategies people always debate - time-outs, spanking, and the “if you don't do X, we're taking away Y” approach - and Dr. Ari explains what works, what doesn't, and why consequences need to be logical to actually teach anything.  PLUS: how behavior can shift with a new sibling (who do you think wrote this question in?!??!), how to avoid the good cop/bad cop dynamic, and rapid-fire audience Qs on meal refusal, toddler resistance (“no” to everything), teaching safety without fear, and why kids go through parent-preference phases. Timestamps: 00:00:00 Welcome back to Two Parents & A Podcast! (The 411 with Dr. Ari Brown: Toddler Discipline) 00:01:45 Doctor & author weighs in on “does audiobook listening ‘count' as reading?!” 00:04:00 When should discipline start?! (& what does ‘discipline' really mean?!) 00:06:47 Signs your toddler is ready for boundaries 00:12:00 IS IT NORMAL?! Biting 00:15:58 IS IT NORMAL?! Hitting 00:21:41 IS IT NORMAL?! Head-banging / hitting themselves  00:23:24 IS IT NORMAL?! Tantrums in public 00:26:28 The #1 thing NOT to do during a tantrum 00:29:30 How toddlers learn self-regulation (and the parent's role) 00:33:21 The #1 mistake parents make when starting to discipline their kids  00:35:11 DOES IT WORK?! Time-outs 00:39:16 DOES IT WORK?! Spanking 00:46:43 DOES IT WORK?! “If you don't do X, we're taking away Y” 00:49:00 New sibling = new behavior? What to expect + how to prepare 00:57:15 Overwhelmed? Dr. Brown's 5 starter tools for discipline 00:58:24 Good cop vs. bad cop 01:02:38 Audience Q: Meal refusal - how to respond without creating picky habits 01:04:03 Audience Q: Toddler says “no” to everything (shoes, car seat, etc.) 01:06:58 Audience Q: Teaching “danger” without traumatizing them 01:08:15 Audience Q: Parent preference phases (why they pick favorites) 01:09:35 “Terrible twos” rebrand: the Terrific Twos 01:11:26 Thanks for listening! Thank you to our sponsors this week: *Cozy Earth: Go to https://www.cozyearth.com/TWOPARENTS for up to 20% off! *Edmunds: Checking your car's value is an easy win to cross off your to do list. Go to https://www.edmunds.com/appraisal/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=podcast&utm_campaign=Two_Parents_Podcast&utm_adgroup=&utm_account=edmunds_marketing&utm_content=Two_Parents_Podcast_q4  *SKIMS: Shop my favorite bras and underwear at https://www.skims.com/twoparents  #skimspartner *Ollie: Treat your Palentine with Ollie! Go to https://www.ollie.com/twoparents and use code TWOPARENTS to get 60% off your first box! *GOODLES: Pick up GOODLES on your next shopping trip… it's available nationwide at Target and Walmart, plus many other major grocery stores and retailers! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of The Modern Hairstylist Podcast, host Hunter Donia and guest Jodie Brown get into a problem that drains time, energy, and momentum fast: attracting clients who DM forever, ghost after you send pricing, cancel last minute, or simply are not a great fit for your chair. If you feel like you are constantly dealing with non ideal inquiries and it is making you resent the process of booking new clients, this conversation gives you a clear framework to change the type of clients you attract, starting with what you say, who you say it to, and the systems you use to qualify people before they ever book.Hunter explains that “better clients” is not a universal definition. It is something you can identify by looking at the patterns of the clients who already stay loyal, respect your process, and genuinely value your work. From there, the goal is twofold: speak more directly to the people you actually want, and build self filtering into your client journey so the wrong clients opt out on their own. You will hear how to do that through marketing language, service menu details like maintenance expectations, digital consultation forms, deposits and card on file, and objection busting content that either builds confidence or disqualifies someone upfront.Key Takeaways:

Feeling trapped by life’s circumstances is a struggle many of us know all too well—whether in jobs, relationships, health, or transitions between seasons. Yet Scripture shows us that God’s boundaries are not limitations, but instruments of His perfect plan. Drawing from Psalm 16:6 and the story of Joseph in Genesis 50, this devotional reminds us that what may feel like confinement can actually be a pathway to blessing, favor, and growth. Do you want to listen ad-free? When you join Crosswalk Plus, you gain access to exclusive, in-depth Bible study guides, devotionals, sound biblical advice, and daily encouragement from trusted pastors and authors—resources designed to strengthen your faith and equip you to live it out boldly. PLUS ad free podcasts! Sign Up Today! This episode is sponsored by Trinity Debt Management. If you are struggling with debt call Trinity today. Trinity's counselors have the knowledge and resources to make a difference. Our intention is to help people become debt-free, and most importantly, remain debt-free for keeps!" If your debt has you down, we should talk. Call us at 1-800-793-8548 | https://trinitycredit.org TrinityCredit – Call us at 1-800-793-8548. Whether we're helping people pay off their unsecured debt or offering assistance to those behind in their mortgage payments. https://trinitycredit.org Full Transcript Below: Held Within His BoundariesBy Megan J. Conner Bible Reading:“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” - Psalm 16:6 (NIV) Do you feel confined by your circumstances? Perhaps you are stuck in a job you dislike, or you can’t wait to move out of your home, town, or region. Maybe you are longing for a change within a relationship or the transition from one season of life to another. Or perhaps you are struggling with physical limitations or health challenges. Whatever your unique circumstances may be, none of us likes to feel limited. We believe “the world is our oyster” and we should have full access to all it has to offer. However, the Bible suggests a much different narrative. Throughout the Word, we see example after example of God’s people confined within boundaries. The Israelites wandered in the desert for forty years, then, generations later, were exiled to Babylon. David was forced into hiding to avoid the pursuit of Saul. Tamar and Leah were “trapped” in what appeared to be loveless marriages. Paul and many of the disciples were imprisoned for their faith. New Testament or Old, there have been multitudes of followers who have struggled to see how God was working for good within the boundaries He set for them. The story of Joseph is one illustration that I have personally looked to when wrestling with my own constrictive circumstances. Joseph was the second youngest son of the patriarch Jacob. He was incredibly talented and favored by his father. During his youth, Joseph had two dreams that foretold he would be in a position of authority over his family in the future. It appeared to be a glorious prospect. However, the reality looked nothing like he imagined. Shortly after Joseph shared his prophetic vision, his brothers sold him into slavery. Once carried off from his home country, Joseph spent over a decade enslaved and imprisoned. He endured persecution, mistreatment, and was reduced to the humblest of circumstances. There was no escape outside of God’s timely release and restoration. I would imagine there were moments when Joseph really grappled with his undesirable confinement and questioned how God was at work in any of it. Yet, on the other side of the story, we can see God was indeed working behind the scenes. Joseph was eventually released from prison and became a significant leader in Egypt, second only to Pharaoh. His elite role positioned him to save his family from starvation during a devastating famine. Had Joseph not been forced into those unwanted circumstances, he would not have been able to rescue his family and the generational line of the Israelite people. Even further, the man Joseph became as a result of his confinement was a miracle in itself. His once haughty heart was transformed into a spirit of endless mercy and grace. When Joseph is later reconciled to his brothers, he offers compassion rather than spite. “His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. ‘We are your slaves,’ they said. But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” - Gen. 50:18-20 (NIV). What looked like imprisonment was actually favor and redemption. There are times when God draws boundaries around each of our lives. But the truth is, those boundaries are for our good. Even if it feels uncomfortable or frustrating, know that the Lord is ordaining your steps. You are in His hands. There are riches and blessings in whatever season you find yourself in today. “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” - Ps. 16:6 (NIV) Intersecting Faith & Life: Do you feel like you are stuck or confined by a specific circumstance or season of life? If so, does looking at examples from scripture help you understand how God uses seasons of perceived confinement to grant us good gifts? Why or why not? Take some time today to reflect on past moments when you felt as if your circumstances would never change, yet ultimately a transition arrived. Then consider how those periods shaped who you are today. How can you see the fingerprints of the Lord through these past experiences? Further Reading:Psalm 16Genesis 39 Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

This week we're discussing Love as a Boundary Setting boundaries can feel especially difficult when you are a solo parent. You are carrying more, managing more emotions, and often trying to protect your children from further pain. In this conversation, Robert Beeson, Founder & CEO of Solo Parent, and Elizabeth Cole, single parent, are joined by Dr. Henry Cloud, clinical psychologist, leadership expert, and bestselling author of Boundaries, to talk about how healthy limits actually strengthen relationships, protect your peace, and help your children grow. Many solo parents wrestle with the same tensions. Saying yes out of guilt. Overcompensating for what their kids have been through. Feeling exhausted but unsure how to change long-standing patterns. These struggles matter because without boundaries, burnout, resentment, and chaos slowly replace the calm and stability every family needs. Today, we cover three main points: Why boundaries are not selfish Boundaries define where you end and someone else begins. When you protect your time, energy, and emotional health, you are not choosing yourself over others. You are creating the capacity to love well and consistently. Why love requires limits Love without structure often leads to resentment or enabling. Healthy limits protect relationships and allow generosity and connection to flourish in a sustainable way. Why boundaries help children grow Children need loving limits to develop responsibility, emotional regulation, and respect for others. What feels hard in the moment often prepares them for a healthier future. Healthy boundaries are not about controlling others. They are about taking responsibility for what is yours and building a home where both you and your children can thrive. Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Dr. Henry Cloud Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend Necessary Endings by Dr. Henry Cloud Stay Connected + Get Support: Download our Solo Parent App  Join a Solo Parent Online Group Learn more about Solo Parent Follow us on Instagram  

BUY THE SLOW LIVING BOOK HERE! Stephanie and Shelly kick off this episode with a fun chat about County Fairs, table scapes, and Stephanie's entries in the Home and Hobby Garden. The conversation quickly shifts to Shelly's new role at work and the challenge of creating a routine that actually works with her new hours. They dig into productivity, time management, and a time-blocking exercise that helped Shelly see where her time and energy were really going.From morning routines to the supportive scrapbooking community Shelly checks in with daily, this episode is all about balance and connection. The conversation wraps with an honest look at boundaries, caregiving, and what it means to be an introverted extrovert—especially when navigating family dynamics. It's a warm, relatable episode full of self-awareness, growth, and encouragement you won't want to miss.Want to know more about living a slowed down life?!Simple Shortcuts to Peace Course - https://stephanieodea.com/peaceNew Year, New You Mini Challenge - https://stephanieodea.com/newyouJoin me for my LIVE Masterclass - https://stephanieodea.com/masterclass/Website - https://stephanieodea.comBlog - https://stephanieodea.com/blog/Slow Living Podcast - https://stephanieodea.com/podcastSpeaking Opportunities - https://stephanieodea.com/speaking/Coaching Opportunities - https://stephanieodea.com/coaching/Courses - https://stephanieodea.com/courses/Contact - stephanieodea.com/contact/

This episode walks you through this week's astrology + practical and magical tactics to help you harness and navigate the energetics February 9th - 15th, 2026. This week is definitely more. Venus goes for a swim, Mercury gets shady, and Saturn, officially shifts into Aries. Saturn's move is the one to watch. In general grounding is still our focus. Confusion ramps up, but so does the desire to create self-discipline around progress. Mo(o)nday, February 9th: We have significant shifts this week. Continue to focus on care of you so you can care for you and yours. We continue the long game that is 2025 - 2026. More of the energetics that are so major from 2025 take hold in 2026, this week and next. General reminder: The Year of the Snake (2025 energy) is still in play until next week Lunar New Year, February 17th - on the first eclipse of the season. This is when the Fire Horse energy officially begins. Until then, we are shedding, listening, evaluation, releasing, squirming to transform and let go. Don't look away, do not disassociate, escape, or look away. These are defining moments personally, and collectively. We are called to get radically honest about what bad behavior we have let slide and what we really, really, really want..from the depth of our soul....and to then take action towards said thing(s). We still have no personal planets in Earth. My loves, the issue of general stability is real. We will not have support from the astrology on this until March 30th (when Venus moves into Taurus) and May 2nd (When Mercury moves into Taurus). Grounding is everything this year. Mat, meditation, prayer, time alone, root veggies, nourishing food, decrease in caffeine, lifting heavy things, weighted blankets, hugs, slathered in vetiver and honey, conversations with safe community. All of your tools need to be at the ready and you'll need to stick to basics. This is one of those times when motivation will not serve. It's going to be self-discipline and adulting and understanding the long game. We have equal placements in Fire, Air, and Water and this is a nice harmony....again...in theory...without Earth it still feels chaotic, mutable, and in general unstable....because it is...and if we focus on harnessing all the mutability...we can create incredible outcomes because of it, not in spite. We are in transition. As an individual and as a collective. Focus on what you want. Participate at a pace and in ways you can. All is helpful, just please do not tap out completely. Boundaries, limits, expectations, and hopes continue to sharpen. This week as Saturn moves into Aries for the first time since 1999 we gain focus on self-discipline, ambition, responsibility, and self assertion. And although Saturn doesn't do so well in Pisces (where it's been since 2023), it's considered to be in its fall in Aries. I don't prescribe to binaries and try to stay away from it. In astrology nothing is good or bad...but there can be ease or challenges and this is definitely a challenge. It sets a fire under our collective asses. It has us all focusing on what is best for us as an individual (more equity) but we can see how that can create conflict and challenge if everyone individually is focused on personal centering, yes? To harmonize this, we must embrace intersectionality. Freedom for one, is freedom for none. Justice for one is justice for none. We rise together. We thrive together. Our practices are genuinely meant for this. When we calm and center ourselves, we can earnestly do the same for the collective and the future. Tiny and mighty. It still matters. It always matters. This transit takes us to task in a really good way. We will start stepping up in ways we have not before. Go with it. Embrace it. It's a 3 year process. On top of all of this, we're in the eclipse portal. We just need to be aware of how big all the energetics are right now. On top of no Earth in the chart, a shift from one of our major planets (Saturn) the Universe says it's time for buckets full of energy/magic to be dumped on us as it hits the reset button of astrology (power off/power on) in eclipse season. This eclipse portal begins now, essentially, and closes March 13th. This is the period of time we will be uttering "Plot twist! " "That was not on my bingo card for 2026" or "I did not see that coming." PLEASE REMEMBER these things can be incredible gifts, happy surprises, opportunities, and blessings! It is truly wild times with incredible potential and wonderful Easter eggs tucked in them. Stay curious about what your soul really wants, and stay focused and committed to what you want. Where attention goes, energy flows. Tuesday, February 10th: Day 1 of Supportive Solutions - You'll need a wall space for this workout. I know it can be a tricky prop to require, but again I'm a super fan of this no cost support that can also create resistance. Simple is best and always works. Venus in Pisces. This is a regular transition. Venus continues to move her way through the chart house by house. She stays in a sign an average of 4 weeks at a time. Venus loves to be here! We are here for this romantic, poetic, creative, backstroke through our fantasies and realities. Embrace this. Fuel this. Spend extra time with Aphrodite in this period of time (till March 6th) to expand, grow, and protect all the good things in our lives (friendships, networks, communities, partners....overall connections). They both want our desires to become a reality. This is one of the major Easter eggs of 2026. Wednesday, February 11th: Listen to The Magic Spark. Thursday, February 12th: Connect in The Unicorn Wellness Studio private member group. Friday, February 13th: It's Goddess Day! Time to ask: What does my inner goddess need in order to remember she is sacred, divine, and designed to receive? Today is actual Goddess Day - a Friday on the 13th. This is not bad luck, this is a historical celebration of the female divine, in its origin terms, in honor of the 13 moon cycles, our personal 13 moon cycles. It's truly an anti-patriarchal day. Reclaim it. Celebrate. Embrace creative life force, it's unlimited hope and potential to forever recreate, birth, make new, and begin again. However it calls to you, spend time at your altar, spend time with your vessel/body. Remind yourself of the potential YOU are and can generate and participate in. -Mercury Retroshade begins. We know the drill: ▪️Mercury stations retrograde 3xs a year ▪️The slow down prior to stationing Rx is called the pre-shadow or as I call it Retroshade. ▪️The actual Rx is lighter than the pre or post shadow. ▪️This week and next (Retroshade) is the brochure of the lesson/blessing we are to work with in this cycle. ▪️We will revisit this opportunity again in the Rx (February 26th - March 19th) and post shadow (March 20th - April 3rd). This Retrograde isn't great. I cannot sugar coat it. Mercury is not the best swimmer. Things get mucky, confused, poetic, and sound really great but could just be pretty words and empty promises. It could, at its best, offer feeling to heal things, honest words, the get raw and hit soul truths but will take effort after retrograde to bring to actual fruition. Triple check communications, travel, and finances. As clarifying questions. If you think you should check on something, DO. We will thrive and survive, but know this one isn't set up for ease. Check what house Pisces is in in your natal chart. This is where your themes and focus will be. This is great energy for making and creating. Focus on that. Craft, write, sing, dance, garden, cook....this is the way through. Saturn moves into Aries. Please see Monday. But here's the repeat: Saturn moves into Aries for the first time since 1999. We gain focus on self-discipline, ambition, responsibility, and self assertion. And although Saturn doesn't do so well in Pisces (where it's been since 2023), it's considered to be in its fall in Aries. I don't prescribe to binaries and try to stay away from it in the astrology...nothing is good or bad...but there can be ease or challenges and this is definitely a challenge. It sets a fire under our collective asses. It has us all focusing on what is best for us as an individual (more equity) but we can see how that can create conflict and challenge if everyone individually is focused on personal centering, yes? To harmonize this, we must embrace intersectionality. Freedom for one, is freedom for none. Justice for one is justice for none. We rise together. We thrive together. Our practices are genuinely meant for this. When we calm and center ourselves, we can earnestly do the same for the collective and the future. Tiny and mighty. It still matters. It always matters. This transit takes us to task in a really good way. We will start stepping up in ways we have not before. Go with it. Embrace it. It's a 3 year process. This is one of the major shifts we experienced a toe dip into in 2025 but takes root now, in 2026. Neptune and Saturn are travel partners these days. Delusion, dreams, and what it takes to bring outcomes to fruition is the lesson they are trying to teach the collective. Day 1 of Core Solutions - You'll need a set of yoga blocks for this workout. It's extra core focused and you'll be better supported with a cork set of blocks for stability and resistance. Saturday, February 14th: First day of New Moon Energy. We begin the down turn of energy today. But this is no regular new moon we're headed towards on the 17th. We're in the eclipse portal and the energy may have gotten weirder already, as early as Monday or Tuesday. This is a new moon so it's all about clearing the schedule for restoration, rejuvenation, rest, and meditation. Things will shift. Let them. Whatever is leaving, going, releasing....let it. Welcome in the new, emotional intelligence upgrade. Use your monthly meditation (it's a 3rd eye cleanse), work with any of the Energy Healings; Frequency or Goddesses in your UWS member library. Now is the time for recalibration and healings. Sunday, February 15th: Your weekly mantra. I surrender to the pivot. I embrace the plot twist. I keep my heart and mind focused on what I want, wish, and desire. I allow the upgrades, the reveals, the resets, and the fresh timelines. Our wildest dreams are still possible. We hold the vision. Additional Resources: Explore Mentoring Lite for the Spring/Summer session. We begin March 20th. Schedule an Exploration Call for Mentoring Lite February 28th - March 6th. UnicornWellnessStudio.com Offering 30-min Pilates based workouts in alignment to the astrological season and lunar cycles. Activate 30-day guest access at UnicornWellnessStudio.com Subscribe to Tandy's weekly newsletter Follow and DM on Instagram @tandy_gutierrez Additional episodes you might enjoy: EP 103: 2025 Year of the Snake: A Journey into the Heart of Lilith EP 140: Lilithian Language: Creating Boundaries and Bridges in a Single Breath.

If you keep falling off your weight loss goals, it's probably not because you lack discipline. It's because you're trying to follow rules that were never meant to last. In this episode, we're talking about weight loss boundaries, the kind that help you stop quitting on your goals and actually follow through. We're creating clear standards for how you treat yourself and how you handle your health and your life. We cover: Why rules keep failing you and what to do instead The boundaries you need with yourself to build trust around food How to set boundaries with other people without guilt or drama What to do when you mess up so you don't spiral or start over If you're ready to start treating yourself like someone who can achieve her goals, this episode is for you. Don't forget to:  SIGN UP FOR A FREE WEIGHTLOSS STRATEGY SESSION by clicking here  GRAB YOUR FREE GET STARTED GUIDE (& 7 day planner) by clicking here  BUY YOUR READY TO LOSE PLANNER HERE: click to buy Get daily mindset and weightloss tips by following me on instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/readytolosecoach/

Staying Creative in Difficult Times: How to Keep Your Spark When the World Feels Heavy How can you protect your energy, stay creative, and build meaningful collaborations without burning out? In this episode of Your Creative Mind, I talk with author and activist Kitty Stryker, who has spent over a decade shaping conversations around consent culture, sustainable activism, and healthy creative practices. You'll learn how to set boundaries that honor your work, pace yourself so your creativity stays strong, and choose your battles with intention. Kitty also shares practical strategies for balancing art and activism, collaborating with respect, and finding joy even when the world feels heavy. If you're a writer, artist, or changemaker seeking ways to sustain your creativity, this conversation offers tools and inspiration to help you live with more curiosity, confidence, and compassion. https://thornapplepress.com  https://kittystryker.com/  http://medium.com/@kittystryker  https://trash-panda-periodical.ghost.io/  https://bsky.app/profile/kittystryker.bsky.social  https://www.facebook.com/officiallykittystryker  https://thornapplepress.ca/books/love-rebels/ This week's card Connect with Izolda Get exclusive content and bonus podcast episodes when you join my Patreon. Website: https://IzoldaT.com BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/izoldat.bsky.social. Book Your Discovery Call: https://calendly.com/izoldat/discovery-call New Play Exchange: https://newplayexchange.org/users/90481/izolda-trakhtenberg Submit a Play to the Your Creative Table Read Podcast Series  https://crossroads.consulting/  This episode is brought to you by Brain.fm. I love and use brain.fm! It combines music and neuroscience to help me focus, meditate, and even sleep! Because you listen to this show, you can get a free trial and 20% off with this exclusive coupon code: innovativemindset. (affiliate link) URL: https://brain.fm/innovativemindset It's also brought to you by my podcast host, Podbean! I love how simple Podbean is to use. If you've been thinking of starting your own podcast, Podbean is the way to go!** Listen on These Channels Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | Podbean | MyTuner | iHeart Radio | TuneIn | Deezer | Overcast | PodChaser | Listen Notes | Player FM | Podcast Addict | Podcast Republic | **Affiliate Link  

Wonder Woman is almost certainly one of the most enduring characters in all of pop culture. She's certainly the most famous female superhero of all time. But we would argue… The post e408. Wonder Woman: Boundaries, Bondage, and Breakthroughs appeared first on The VoxPopcast.

If you've been feeling like you need someone to flip on a light switch in a dark room right about now, this episode is for you. And listen, I get it—February can be rough. All that January enthusiasm starts to fade, the Midwest winter is doing its thing (where did the sun go?), and suddenly that phone in your hand feels less like a tool and more like a stain you can't get out of your clothes (or out of your hand). So today, I'm offering what we all need: a little bit of hope. This is a cozy solo cast that's a deep dive into what I'm learning in real-time about habits and what they reinforce. The truth: I've been doom-scrolling between client sessions like it's my job, and my nervous system has some thoughts about that. We're talking about: How to gently take inventory of what you're consuming (media, food, habits, all of it) The homework my therapist gave me that changed how I show up in every relationship What you're actually responsible for (hint: it's less than you think) Why knowing your philosophy matters—whether you're a therapist, a parent, or just a human trying to navigate this wild world Plus, I'm giving you a sneak peek at two incredible interviews coming up this month with Cat Greenleaf (host of the Soberness podcast) and the one and only Ashlyn Thompson from the Parent Empowerment Network. If you need someone who makes heavy topics feel like a warm hug, Ashlyn is your person. She's basically the Ted Lasso of emotional work. KEY TAKEAWAYS "The things you repeat are what you reinforce." —James Clear, Atomic Habits This quote is the backbone of the episode. What are you repeating? Is it serving you? If not, what's one small shift you can make? You can't function for the responsibilities of your life if your nervous system is constantly firing. If you're feeling less Cinderella-with-birds-making-your-bed and more like you need to hide under the covers, it might be time to look at what you're consuming. Boundaries aren't just for other people—they're for what you let into your own mind and body. This is the work. What's yours to own? What's not? Getting clear on that changes everything. QUOTES THAT HIT "When you turn on a light in a dark space, the darkness isn't gone. But the darkness can't deny the light." "I wasn't clear on what I was actually responsible for. If I was responsible for their breakthroughs, then was I also responsible for what they didn't understand?" "Happiness can also look like having a lollipop for breakfast, lunch, and dinner—and then that creates a whole other issue." COMING UP THIS MONTH Cat Greenleaf from the Soberness podcast—talking celebrity sobriety, digital content, and constantly evolving Ashlyn Thompson from the Parent Empowerment Network—bringing the heart-centered wisdom with humor and warmth YOUR HOMEWORK (IF YOU WANT IT) Grab a journal, go for a walk, or just sit with these questions: What am I repeating? What is that reinforcing for me? Do I like what I'm reinforcing? If not, what's one subtle adjustment I can make? And if you need a place to process all of this? The Treasured Journal was made for exactly these moments. It's got prompts, sentence stems, and space for you to dig a little deeper with a little more safety and context. Link's in the show notes. THINGS THAT WILL MAKE MY WHOLE WEEK Rate and review the podcast wherever you're listening—it helps more people find this cozy corner of the internet Subscribe so you never miss an episode (we've got some good ones coming up!) Share this episode with someone who needs a little bit of hope right now Your time and attention mean everything to me. Thank you for being here. Now go have an incredible day. You've got this. —Danielle   RESOURCES MENTIONED Atomic Habits by James Clear Wrestling a Walrus for Little People with Big Feelings (my children's book!) The Treasured Journal (for all your processing needs) CONNECT WITH DANIELLE (links) Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0VFZulonTvaa2HIPyJa4Tq?si=JyAzazfISPWyg6I11hAylg Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-cut-your-own-bangs/id1427579922 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DontCutYourOwnBangs Website: https://danielleireland.com/ Children's Book: https://danielleireland.com/wrestling-a-walrus The Treasured Journal: https://danielleireland.com/journal Substack: https://danielleireland.substack.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dontcutyourownbangs/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/danielleireland.LCSW TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dontcutyourownbangspod?_t=ZP-8yFHmVNPKtq&_r=1  

Welcome to Day 1 of Heart Renewal: Letting Love In Again, where the arc is Release—softly letting go of what past love left behind so you can feel lighter now. In today's episode, you'll explore the question: "What am I ready to release from past love so I can feel lighter now?" and learn why the nervous system can keep old heartbreak, disappointment, or uncertainty "stored" as tension, overthinking, or emotional guarding. You'll be guided through a calming breath practice and a gentle visualization to set down emotional weight without denying what you've been through. Leave this meditation feeling more open, more grounded, and more available for love—starting with the love you offer yourself. ABOUT THIS WEEK'S SERIES Welcome to Heart Renewal: Letting Love In Again—a 7-day meditation series designed to help you gently reopen your heart with both tenderness and wisdom. Whether you're seeking a relationship or you're in one and love feels distant, this week will guide you to release what you've been carrying, calm your nervous system, rebuild emotional safety, and create the inner conditions where love can return—without forcing it. Each day follows a simple arc—Release, Safety, Desire, Boundaries, Receiving, Repair, and Choose Again—with breathwork, visualization, and reflective prompts to help you soften protective patterns, trust yourself again, and feel more open to giving and receiving love in real life.   This is day 1 of a 7-day meditation series, "Heart Renewal: Letting Love In Again,"  episodes 3358-3364. THIS WEEK'S CHALLENGE - LOVE IN PRACTICE QUEST: Each day, do one small "letting love in" action— release something heavy, soften your body, express an honest desire, set a gentle boundary, receive without deflecting, make a repair, or choose again. Track it with 7 checkmarks and notice how quickly your heart starts to feel safer, steadier, and more open. THIS WEEK'S MEDITATION JOURNEY  Day 1:  Renewal Visualization Day 2:  Affirmation: "I release what's heavy." Day 3:  Let Go Breath: inhale 4, exhale 8 (or 4/6), do for 8 rounds Day 4:  Apana mudra for purification Day 5:  Fourth chakra for love and gratitude Day 6:  Love Flow meditation, combining the week's techniques Day 7:  Weekly review meditation and closure SHARE YOUR MEDITATION JOURNEY WITH YOUR FELLOW MEDITATORS Let's connect and inspire each other! Please share a little about how meditation has helped you by reaching out to me at Mary@SipandOm.com or better yet -- direct message me on https://www.instagram.com/sip.and.om. We'd love to hear about your meditation ritual!  WAYS TO SUPPORT THE DAILY MEDITATION PODCAST SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode. Consistency is the KEY to a successful meditation ritual. SHARE the podcast with someone who could use a little extra support. I'd be honored if you left me a podcast review. If you do, please email me at Mary@sipandom.com and let me know a little about yourself and how meditation has helped you. I'd love to share your journey to inspire fellow meditators on the podcast! All meditations are created by Mary Meckley and are her original content. Please request permission to use any of Mary's content by sending an email to Mary@sipandom.com. FOR DAILY EXTRA SUPPORT OUTSIDE THE PODCAST Each day's meditation techniques are shared at: sip.and.om Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sip.and.om/ sip and om Facebook https://www.facebook.com/SipandOm/ SIP AND OM MEDITATION APP Looking for a little more support? If you're ready for a more in-depth meditation experience, allow Mary to guide you in daily 30-minute guided meditations on the Sip and Om meditation app. Give it a whirl for 7-days free! Receive access to 3,000+ 30-minute guided meditations customized around a weekly theme to help you manage emotions. Receive a Clarity Journal and a Slow Down Guide customized for each weekly theme.  2-Week's Free Access on iOS https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/sip-and-om/id1216664612?platform=iphone&preserveScrollPosition=true#platform/iphone All meditations are created by Mary Meckley and are her original content. Please request permission to use any of Mary's content by sending an email to Mary@sipandom.com.Let go of repetitive negative thoughts. Music composed by Christopher Lloyd Clark licensed by RoyaltyFreeMusic.com, and also by musician Greg Keller.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses pregnancy and fertility loss, breast and brain cancer, caregiving stress, grief, blackout drinking, relapse, and substance use.What if relief isn't in the glass but in the space you reclaim? Mary maps the messy middle—moderation rules, peer pressure, the “pitcher plant,” and the night she couldn't care for her sister because she was too sick to stand. Revisiting her 2017 episode with Annie, she joins Coach Hayley to redefine success: presence over performance, rituals without alcohol, and permission to say “I don't drink today.” Along this long road to quitting drinking, Mary learns that forgiveness ends the shame spiral—and that peace shows up when she stops chasing the first sip. In this episode, Coach Hayley and Mary catch up on: Revisiting Mary's first TNM episode (2017) and what changed Miscarriages, breast cancer, and pandemic drift—why moderation unraveled The “pitcher plant,” blackout shame, and the caregiving wake-up call Surrogacy, motherhood, and choosing presence at bedtime Keeping the ritual without the alcohol: mocktails, adaptogens, THC microdosing Self-forgiveness > perfection; “not today” over “never again” Why relief feels like mental space, not a glass Walking the long road to quitting drinking without perfectionism …and more topics Episode links: nakedmindpath.com Related Episodes: EP 35: Naked Life Story: Mary - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-35-naked-life-story-mary/ Making the Breast Cancer and Alcohol Connection - Tabbin's Naked Life - E713 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-713-naked-life-story-tabbin-a/ Brian Accidentally Stopped Drinking - Brian's Naked Life (Part 2) - E639 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-639-naked-life-story-annie-graces-husband-part-2/Does this mean I can never drink alcohol again? - Reader's Question - E576 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-576-readers-question-does-this-mean-i-can-never-drink-alcohol-again/ Ready to take the next step on your journey?  Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Stop running on "optimization mode" and reclaim your restorative power. In this session, we shift the metric of success from how much you produce to how well you rest. If you've been carrying the weight of digital noise and the pressure to always be "on," this 10-minute deep dive is your sanctuary.This meditation is Part 1 of our Vitality and Boundaries series. We explore the mind-body connection through 4-count restorative breathing, visualization of your inner energy, and affirmations designed to honor your unique capacity rather than just your output.

If you want to join us in The 8 to 4 Principal Group Coaching Intensive, click HERE to learn more. Does being a great principal mean being available all day, every day? In this episode, Barb challenges the traditional “open door policy” and the idea of people over paperwork and shares a more sustainable way to lead. Because when you're constantly available, the work doesn't disappear… it just follows you home. You'll learn how focus blocks, visibility, and clear boundaries actually make you more supportive, not less,  while protecting your time, energy, and family life. If you're tired of staying late and wondering why the work never ends, this conversation will help you lead with intention instead of urgency.Sign up for The 8 to 4 Principal Group Coaching Intensive on February 7th and you will get a free one-on-one coaching session.

Entitlement, Jealousy & Why Boundaries Matter: GloRilla's Sister Goes to TMZ #fullbreakdown

In this episode of Horror Hill, psychological unease seeps in through the cracks of the everyday. What begins as ordinary companionship curdles into something unsettling, as unseen forces—both external and deeply personal—begin to assert themselves. Boundaries blur. Tensions surface. And the sense of safety people take for granted proves far more fragile than it appears. To watch the podcast on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://bit.ly/ChillingEntertainmentYT⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever you're listening or by using this link: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/HorrorHillPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you like the show, telling a friend about it would be amazing! You can text, email, Tweet, or send this link to a friend: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/HorrorHillPodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Through his decades of work in the brewing industry, many spent in R&D and quality at Sierra Nevada, Tom Nielsen has played a critical role in getting craft beer a seat at the broader brewing table. While industry advocacy groups were once dominated by macro brewers pursuing their own narrow goals, Nielsen (and a cohort of craft contemporaries) helped change the bigger conversation, connect ingredient producers and processors with brewer end users, and usher in a new golden age for hops flavor and aroma as well as malting-barley quality. Now Nielsen is tackling a new challenge—scaling down while maintaining the same rigorous approach to quality—as he builds the brewing program for the forthcoming Emberside Brewery in his home state of New Jersey. In this episode, Nielsen discusses: the development of the innovation process at Sierra Nevada perfecting Pale Ale and how the brewery prioritized R&D factors that improve packaged beer stability evaluating quality in crystal malts testing malt quality and consistency with equipment such as the farinator moving beyond visual inspection for barley and hops improving malt flavor with new (and old) barley varieties advances in pelletizing that retain more hop punch blending science, sensory, and a bit of art to achieve great beer And more. G&D Chillers G&D now offers their Elite 290 Micro-series with 5H chillers—bringing even more flexibility to their propane-powered lineup. In fact, they're building one right now for Red Clover Ale Co in partnership with Efficiency Vermont. It runs on a Natural Refrigerant with near-zero Global Warming Potential—projected to deliver around 10% more efficiency than A2L refrigerant systems. That's smart sustainability backed by proven engineering and trusted performance. With 24/7 support and remote monitoring, your cold side stays dialed in—day or night. Explore the Elite 290 Micro-series and more at gdchillers.com Berkeley Yeast Berkeley Yeast just launched Dry Tropics London! Our best-selling liquid yeast strain, now with all the ease-of-use benefits of dry yeast. Dry Tropics London delivers the soft, pillowy mouthfeel and juicy character you'd expect from a top-tier London Ale strain, but with a serious upgrade: a burst of thiols that unleash vibrant, layered notes of grapefruit and passion fruit. A lot of brewers love the clean passion fruit you get from Tropics, but they don't want every IPA to be a tropical-fruit bomb. At the dry yeast price point, you can pitch and ditch without breaking the bank. Or, you can co-pitch with your house strain to adjust the intensity of the notes. And with nationwide free shipping, there's never been a better time to try Dry Tropics. Order now at berkeleyyeast.com and experience the ease and impact of Dry Tropics London Yeast. PakTech This episode is sponsored by PakTech—delivering craft-beer multipacking you can trust. Our handles are made from 100 percent recycled plastic and are fully recyclable, helping breweries close the loop and advance the circular economy. With a minimalist design, durable functionality you can rely on, and custom color matching, our carriers help brands stand out while staying sustainable. Trusted by craft brewers nationwide, we offer a smarter, sustainable way to carry your beer. To learn more, visit paktech-opi.com. Indie Hops Strata Cryo The multilayered wonders of Indie Hops Strata are now easier than ever for brewers to tap into. Introducing Strata Cryo, in collaboration with Yakima Chief Hops. Whether brewing up a single-hop Strata IPA to wow customers with the depth of flavor this variety delivers or modernizing your flagship IPA to continue setting the highest standards, Strata T99, Strata CGX, Strata HyperBoost, and now Strata Cryo provide the tools for you to create your unique masterpiece. Indie Hops Strata. Life is short. Let's make it flavorful! Midea 50/50 Flex The Midea 50/50 flex is the industry's first dual compartment three-way convertible freezer. The 50/50 Flex is designed to flex with your life. It can convert to all fridge, all freezer, or half and half with just the touch of a button. Plus, with reversible doors and adjustable storage compartments, you can stay organized no matter your food-storage needs. The 50/50 Flex is also designed to maintain a stable temperature even in non-climate-controlled spaces. So it's perfect for your garage, man cave, or wherever you need a little more space. Maybe use all 20 cubic feet as a beer fridge! Check out Midea.com/us/ for more information on how to take your beer storage to the next level. Old Orchard If your brewery is using fruit juice concentrates, purees, and blends, then why not source everything from a one-stop shop? Old Orchard might be best-known for flavored blends, but if you need 100% purees or concentrates, then Old Orchard can likely help—even with options not listed on their website. Let Old Orchard know what you need at oldorchard.com/brewer. Brightly Software Brightly Software, a Siemens company, partners with organizations at every stage of their asset lifecycle journey. Brightly is a complete asset-management and operations software that enhances organizational sustainability, compliance, and efficiency through data-driven decision making. Streamline maintenance, simplify capital planning, and optimize resources with solutions uniquely designed to support long-term goals. Learn more at brightlysoftware.com. 2026 Brewers Retreat Tickets are on sale now for the annual Craft Beer & Brewing Brewers Retreat August 23–26 in the hop country of Yakima Valley, Washington. There's nothing like this fantasy homebrew-camp experience, as you brew in small groups led by some of the most inspiring brewers in the world—folks such as Vinnie and Natalie of Russian River, Ben from Breakside, Henry and Adriana of Monkish, Kelsey from North Park, Whitney from Grand Fir, Sean from Lawson's Finest, and more. This year we'll be brewing under the bines at Bale Breaker, and it's sure to be an unforgettable experience. Tickets are on sale now and going fast at brewersretreat.com.

February honesty hits different. The motivation buzz fades, real life crowds in, and the question sharpens: are we building lives that actually fit? We ditch quick fixes for sturdy rules—starting with our favorite: never miss twice. Miss a day, reset the next. It's the cure for all-or-nothing thinking and the backbone of habits that last.We dig into the quiet power of privacy (not secrecy), better boundaries, and fewer explanations—and how that creates space for a true “year of impact.” From kinder no's and protected relationships to midlife glow-ups that go deeper than skincare (though yes, chemical peels and “don't cut bangs” still make an appearance), this episode is about moving from performance to alignment.Books, therapy, and responsibility thread it all together. Fiction as soul care. Clarity over buzzwords. Owning harm, apologizing when possible, and living honestly when life won't wrap things up neatly.If you're craving sustainable habits, better boundaries, and a midlife reframe that actually works, this one's for you.

In this episode, Torri and Daffnee get honest about boundaries.  They talk about why boundaries feel so hard to set, especially for women, parents, and overachievers, and why so many of us confuse boundaries with being cold, selfish, or difficult. From friendships and family dynamics to work, parenting, and emotional labor, this conversation breaks down how boundaries actually create healthier relationships, not distance. They also dive into guilt. Why it shows up the moment we say no. Why we feel responsible for other people's reactions. And how learning to tolerate that discomfort is often the biggest growth edge. If you've ever said yes when you meant no, over explained yourself, or felt exhausted from constantly managing everyone else's feelings, this episode is for you. Recommended LINKS: Better with Daffnee podcast homepage: https://www.daffneecohen.com/podcast/ Connect on Instagram: @Daffnee Learn more and get tons of freebies at: daffneecohen.com  

To start off the year, I wanted to explore a topic that often gets swept under the rug. Mental well-being, or the lack of it, in farming communities has reached epedemic levels. Farmers in Europe face a nasty mix of chronic overwork and poor recovery, high uncertainty and low control in their work, and heavy admin/compliance pressure, often while working in social isolation with a culture that can discourage help-seeking. Those pressures stack and reinforce each other (less sleep and more stress lead to worse decisions, more conflict and injuries, tighter finances, and even less time off) driving burnout, anxiety/depression, and in some contexts elevated suicide risk. The stress factors for farmers are only increasing too, as weather variance, economic pressure, bureaucratic stress, and social factors mount. For this reason my hope in this panel session is to shed some light on mental health, and some ways to avoid burnout in the upcoming season from a number of different perspectives. 

In this episode of Perpetual mOetion, Dr. mOe Anderson welcomes Dr. Melanie Gray, PhD-prepared nurse educator, trauma-informed leadership strategist, and confidence coach for professionals to discuss the critical importance of setting boundaries and reclaiming personal energy. Dr. Gray shares her journey from nursing to coaching, highlighting how the pandemic exacerbated issues of burnout and stress among high-achieving individuals. She emphasizes that many people underestimate the long-term effects of stress and the necessity of self-care, particularly for women who often feel pressured to say 'yes' to everything. The conversation delves into the societal expectations placed on women, the fear of rejection associated with saying 'no', and the importance of prioritizing one's own needs to avoid burnout. Dr. Gray introduces her framework, "STOP", which encourages listeners to scan their bodies for signs of stress, tell themselves the truth about their situation, prioritize self-care, and be willing to transform their lives. The discussion also touches on the impact of hormonal changes during menopause and how they can complicate feelings of exhaustion. Ultimately, Dr. Gray urges listeners to recognize their value and treat themselves as the gifts they are, advocating for a shift in mindset that allows for healthier boundaries and a more balanced life. Takeaways 1. Burnout is a choice; it's about behaviors. 2. You are as loved as the last time you said yes. 3. You must prioritize yourself on your calendar. 4. You can start saying no in small ways. 5. Experience is the best teacher, but it doesn't have to be your own. Boundaries and Burnout: A Conversation with Dr. Melanie Gray Sound bites "We do because we are afraid of rejection." "It's not about the title, it's how you manage." "Burnout is a choice; they do not have to be burned out." Chapters 00:00   Introduction to Dr. Melanie Gray 00:45   The Journey to Understanding Burnout 04:16   The Power of Saying No 10:59   Practical Steps to Set Boundaries 15:14   The STOP IT Framework for Self-Care 18:48   Navigating Hormonal Changes and Burnout 23:45   Final Thoughts on Self-Worth and Energy Management Connect with Dr. Gray and learn more about reclaiming your energy at https://mailchi.mp/dff940f321fa/trauma-informed-care   Would you like to be a guest on this podcast? Join Podmatch and get access to this show and 1000's of other podcast hosts looking for guests to interview. https://www.joinpodmatch.com/perpetualmoetionwdrmoeanderson  Learn more about Dr. mOe's services and books on her website at www.drmOeAnderson.com.  Follow her on social media!  @drmOeanderson Elevate your public speaking skills with 1x1 or online Public Speaking Coaching (https://drmoeanderson.com/coaching/) Feature your business on this award-winning podcast or book Dr. mOe for a speaking engagement! Contact her today! info@drmoeanderson.com Please support this indie, woman-owned, small business providing free educational and inspirational content. Use one of these secure, fee-free ways to support the production and distribution of this award-winning show:  1. Buy Me a Coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/drmoeandu 2. CashApp: $drmoeanderson 3. Venmo: @drmoeanderson  

We're back, Thrivesters - and this episode is your line in the sand.As we step into the Year of the Fire Horse, the energy around us is undeniable: momentum, movement, transformation, and bold possibility. But here's the truth most people miss-powerful energy without boundaries =burnout.Today we're talking about how to ride the energy of this year, not be dragged by it.We're talking about agency - your ability to choose how you show up, what you tolerate, and what you're no longer available for. Because growth without grounding isn't growth. It's chaos.And the tool that makes all of this possible?Boundaries.In this episode, we cover:

Luxa https://linktr.ee/LuxaStrata hosts a panel of magic practitioners to discuss navigating issues related to mental health in one's magical practice. Questions the panel will address: how do we define and delineate boundaries in our magical work and interpersonal lives? Is there intersection between how you protect yourself from potentially unhelpful magical forces and potentially unhelpful people? What are some experiences in this area others might find useful to hear about? How do we define psychic self defense? How do we practice it? What are some experiences or tips we'd share?Luxa also shares an update about The Green Mushroom Project https://greenmushroomproject.com/ and Void House- creating consent centered magical spaces for conducting group work both in person and online, investigating the magical and alchemical properties of consent, and providing consent education to magically inclined people. Thanks for listening to the Lux Occult Podcast! Support the show by helping Luxa buy books and curtail other costs, as well as taking a bibliomancy break by giving on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/luxoccult . Or, Buy Me a Coffee.com is an option for a one time donation: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/luxoccultpod?new=1 We would love to hear from you! Please send your thoughts, questions, suggestions or arcane revelations to luxoccultpod@gmail.com or message on Instagram @luxoccultpod https://www.instagram.com/luxoccultpod/ and on BlueSky https://bsky.app/profile/luxastrata919.bsky.socialCheck out the Lux Occult YouTube Channel:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCn8n4oQIH1uo08NhMvjjlBMerch! https://www.etsy.com/shop/IlluminIndustriesCheck out The Consent Academy https://www.consent.academy/Find Luxa's work published in Serpents of Circe: A Manual to Magical Resilience edited by Laura Tempest Zakroff and Ron Padrón https://revelore.press/product/serpents-of-circe-a-manual-to-magical-resilience/Referenced in today's episode:Weird Web Radio, hosted by Lonnie Scott https://weirdwebradio.com/Weird Web Radio Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cw/weirdwebradioWeird Web Radio Episode 101- Luxa Strata- Consent, Chaos Magic, Experiments and The Self https://open.spotify.com/episode/4t431wA9D1uNnM2SAUa2ci?si=rDyF_nAUR3qOYJ5LWhcB5ATelempath https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TelempathSix Ways by Aidan Wachter https://www.aidanwachter.com/six-waysUnfuck Your Boundaries: Build Better Relationships Through Consent, Communication, and Expressing Your Needs by Dr. Faith G. Harper https://microcosmpublishing.com/catalog/books/8188“Let's Call Jonah Hill's Alleged Text Messages What They Are: Misogynistic” by Raven Smith. Vogue.com July 11, 2023 https://www.vogue.com/article/jonah-hill-text-messages-toxic-masculinityBoundaries vs Rules. Simple Psychology.com https://www.simplypsychology.org/boundaries-vs-rules.htmlThe Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence by Gavin de Becker, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gift_of_FearJohannes Heinrich Schultz, problematic creator of Autogenics Training https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Johannes_Heinrich_Schultz50 Common Cognitive Distortions: A giant list of ubiquitous cognitive distortions by Alice Boyes Ph.D https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201301/50-common-cognitive-distortionsHow to recognize and tame your cognitive distortions by Peter Grinspoon, MD https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/how-to-recognize-and-tame-your-cognitive-distortions-20220504273820 Uses for Self-Compassion: Self-compassion can lead to better choices and feeling better by Alice Boyes Ph.D https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-practice/201206/20-uses-for-self-compassionLux Occult is produced by Luxa Strata. All Rights Reserved. 2026.

If you're co-parenting after separation or divorce, you've probably realized something no one really prepares you for: The relationship doesn't end… it just changes shape. And suddenly, every text about pickup times, school forms, or “did you send the sweatshirt back?” feels emotionally loaded. Not because you're arguing about sweatshirts—but because separation brings grief, fear, anger, and unfinished emotional business into everyday communication. In this episode of the No Guilt Mom Podcast, I'm joined by Gabriella Pomare, family lawyer, award-winning author of The Collaborative Co-Parent, and co-parenting advocate. We talk about what actually works when communication breaks down—especially if your ex is difficult, high-conflict, or completely uncooperative. Because co-parenting isn't about being friends. It's about structure, boundaries, and emotional safety for your kids—without you carrying the entire emotional load. What You'll Learn in This Episode 1) Why communication falls apart after separation (even when you both love your kids) Gabriella describes separation as a “nervous system earthquake.” When you're grieving the life you thought you'd have, messages don't land neutrally anymore. Even something as small as “you're running late” can feel like criticism, control, or a power struggle. 2) The difference between “moving on” and actually healing You can look fine on the outside—working, dating, functioning—and still feel your body spike the moment your ex's name shows up on your phone. Healing is when you can respond instead of react, stop trying to win, and read a neutral message without creating a high-conflict story in your head. 3) What collaborative co-parenting really means (and what it doesn't) Collaborative co-parenting doesn't mean you're best friends or agree on everything. It means consistently making decisions through a child-centered lens, with clear systems that reduce emotional volatility—especially in high-conflict situations. Often, that looks less emotional and more business-like. 4) Boundaries that actually work—and how to handle it when they're crossed Boundaries aren't rules you force on your ex. They're commitments you make to yourself. Gabriella explains how to stop engaging with emotional bait, rehashing the past, and escalating conversations—without creating more conflict. 5) A practical tool for high-conflict co-parenting: communication apps If your ex sends long, hostile messages or constantly pulls you into conflict, Gabriella recommends using a co-parenting app like OurFamilyWizard to: keep communication child-focused reduce harassment and message flooding create clear boundaries and documentation shift communication from emotional to logistical 6) The 4 pillars of co-parent communication Gabriella's framework for reducing conflict: Listen → Pause → Reflect → Respond The hardest part? The pause. Because when emotions are high, the instinct is to respond quickly and win. The pause is what breaks the cycle. 7) What kids need most to feel safe across two homes Kids don't need perfect parents. They need predictability, stability, and emotional safety. When kids know what's happening, who's picking them up, and that they're not responsible for adult emotions, they feel more secure—even across two households. Quick Favor (It Helps More Moms Find This Parenting Support) If this episode helped you feel less alone, would you take 30 seconds to leave a review for the No Guilt Mom Podcast? Reviews help other overwhelmed moms find this parenting support when they need it most. Resources Mentioned Our Family Wizard co-parenting app Gabriella Pomare's book: The Collaborative Co-Parent Join the No Guilt Mom Circle Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ever notice how easy it is to curate a friend group that looks and thinks just like you? We're flipping that script. I share how a single question about my guest list sparked a full rethink of community, why Jesus' meals are the model for modern friendship, and how widening the table reshaped my heart more than any book, retreat, or productivity hack ever could.We unpack the shift from distant charity to real proximity—the kind that invites the widow, the single parent, the awkward talker, and the person with fewer resources into our actual routines. I talk candidly about the social cost of diversity, the temptation to protect “the vibe,” and the moment I realized people aren't projects; they're image-bearers worthy of attention, not just an invite. Expect practical language for humility, how to treat triggers as teachers, and simple ways to calm your nervous system so you can stay present without fixing, rescuing, or controlling.If you've been waiting for the perfect life-stage match before investing in friendship, it might be idealism keeping you lonely. Boundaries still matter, but love asks for a bigger table—one that looks less curated and more like the kingdom. You'll leave with grounded questions to audit your circle, steps to invite difference into your week, and fresh courage to trade comfort for connection. Click here to Book a coaching with Jenna --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Silence is one of the most misunderstood skills in leadership, communication, and life. Many people rush to fill quiet moments with explanations, reactions, or noise because silence forces awareness. It removes the ability to perform, defend, or control how others perceive us. This episode explores why silence feels so uncomfortable and why that discomfort is often a signal that something important is happening internally.The conversation breaks down how silence functions as a power move in high-pressure moments, not because it dominates a room, but because it regulates the nervous system. Troy shares how learning to pause instead of react creates clarity, steadiness, and intentional communication. The episode explores how silence can either trigger fear and old emotional patterns or become a stabilizing force, allowing you to respond with precision instead of impulse.Personal stories are woven throughout, including experiences with conflict, rejection, grief, and preparing for defining moments like public speaking and delivering a TEDx talk. These moments highlight how silence carries different emotional weight depending on context, and how the body often reacts to pressure as if every moment carries the same level of threat. The episode connects this to fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses, and explains how silence can help interrupt those patterns before they escalate.The episode also explores how silence builds trust and presence in professional settings. Speaking less, pausing longer, and choosing restraint often signal confidence and credibility more than volume or speed. Listeners will hear how silence can shift power dynamics in business, leadership, and relationships, while also demanding emotional discipline, self-control, and a willingness to sit with discomfort.Ultimately, this episode is about mastering silence as a form of self-leadership. It is not about withholding communication or avoiding hard moments. It is about knowing when silence serves you, when it sharpens your message, and when it allows you to own a situation without forcing it. Silence works, but it comes with a cost, and this episode challenges listeners to decide whether they are willing to develop the discipline required to use it well.

Do you feel like the world is draining your battery faster than you can recharge it? In the depth of winter, it is easy to feel exposed to stress, negativity, and burnout.Welcome to Part 2 of the Winter Radiance Series on Calming Anxiety.While Part 1 was about rekindling your inner spark, today is about building a sanctuary around it. In this 10-minute guided meditation, we move from "surviving" the winter to "protecting" your peace. You will learn how to observe the chaos of the world without letting it freeze your spirit.In this session, we will cover:The "Golden Light" Breathwork: A technique to physically push out the cold, grey stress of the day.The Log Cabin Visualization: A powerful mental exercise to create a "glass wall" between you and external expectations.Affirmations for Boundaries: Learning to say "no" without guilt.My 3 Caring Tips for a Happier Life: This episode also includes three practical tools you can use immediately after listening:The One-Minute Wait: A simple rule to stop over-committing your energy.Visual Unplugging: How to reduce "visual noise" to rest your brain.The Warm Drink Anchor: A somatic hack to ground yourself instantly in social situations.“You cannot pour from an empty cup. Today, we stop apologizing for our boundaries.”Next Up: Join us tomorrow for the finale, Part 3: Awakening New Energy, where we prepare to bloom as we look toward Spring.Support the Podcast: If this session brought you warmth, please leave a review or follow the show. It helps other souls find this sanctuary.Break the Cycle of Anxiety Today Are you ready to stop the spiral? Join me in the Anxiety Circuit Breaker course, specifically designed to help you regain control and find your calm in just minutes. You can access the full course and take the first step toward a quieter mind by visiting calminganxiety.fm.

Kyley and Eva sit down to talk about what has been happening in North America around ICE, immigration enforcement, and the wave of fear, grief, rage, confusion, and moral distress many people are carrying in their bodies right now. They explore what happens when institutions dehumanize people, how fear spreads through communities, and why numbness can start to feel like a survival strategy. At the same time, they reflect on the quiet, often unglamorous work of staying human: letting grief be present, allowing anger without letting it harden into hatred, and remembering that compassion does not require self-destruction.This is a conversation for anyone who feels torn between caring deeply and needing to protect their own mental and emotional health. What we cover 

Furniture flipping looks dreamy from the outside: paint, pretty pieces, a tidy before-and-after, but Jen Talley pulls back the curtain on what actually makes it sustainable. This conversation sits in the quiet middle between passion and burnout: learning when to say yes, when to say no, and why boundaries are just as creative as brushstrokes. Jen shares how her business evolved from late-night hobby energy to an intentional, values-led rhythm; choosing better pieces, protecting her time, letting simplicity sell, and honoring the very human reasons this work matters. It's grounded, honest, and deeply reassuring for anyone trying to turn “I love this” into “this actually works.”Jen Talley is a furniture artist known for her timeless, perfectly imperfect approach and a business built on intention over hustle. Her work blends classic design, thoughtful boundaries, and a deep belief that furniture, and creativity, can hold real meaning.Connect with Jen:IG FacebookYouTubeCreative Finds:Melange Paints - Jen's discount code mentioned: JEN10Golden Brush Awards 2025 - Public voting opening February 13In this episode, we discuss:When no becomes the most important business skill you can learnHow intention, boundaries, and simplicity create longevityWhy furniture doesn't need more – it needs better (and simpler)The human stories behind the pieces we make and sellWelcome to Brush & Banter—the podcast where creativity meets real-life hustle. Brought to you by Zibra, we go beyond perfect brushstrokes to explore the messy, magical, and meaningful side of being an artist. We're here to bring you conversations with working artists, practical tips to grow your creative business, and a built-in painting companion for your next project. Brush & Banter is co-hosted by Brie Hansen, President of Zibra; Annie Bolding, Founder of It's a Disco Day Designs; and Lauren Cooper, Founder of Rosemont Lane Design Studio. Connect with Zibra: Website Instagram TikTok Facebook YouTube Blog

In episode 313, Kelly shares a hard lesson from a time he tried to “help” a client by booking a series of account management meetings he was not going to attend. The introductions were easy because the trust and credibility were already built, and the prospects said yes because of Kelly's relationship with them. But once the client missed one meeting, then another, Kelly realized the damage was landing on his name, not theirs. Instead of doing business development, he found himself apologizing, rescheduling, and working to repair relationships that took years to earn.The core message is simple and sharp: if you are not accountable for the outcome, you should not be booking the meeting. Kelly breaks down exactly what went wrong and how quickly credibility can be spent when you put yourself in the middle of a process you do not control. He closes with clear principles to protect your reputation: only book what you are willing to own, control the first impression, treat your network like equity, remove yourself as the middleman, and ensure accountability before opening doors.Key Takeaways:If your name is on the meeting, you are accountable for the outcome whether you attend or not.Credibility is currency in business development and every introduction spends a little of it.Never book meetings you cannot personally control or confidently stand behind.Acting as the middleman without authority puts all the risk on you and none of the control.First impressions set the tone for the entire relationship so be present to guide them.Good intentions do not protect your reputation. Boundaries do.Relationships built over years can be damaged quickly by missed expectations.Accountability must exist before opportunity or you are gambling with trust.Your network is equity, not loose change. Treat every intro like it costs something.Protecting your reputation is more important than trying to help or say yes to everything.This episode of The Business Development Podcast is proudly supported by our 2026 Title Sponsor, Hypervac Technologies, North America's leading manufacturer of industrial vacuum and hydro excavation trucks. If you are looking for world class equipment built for performance, reliability, and the toughest job sites, check them out at www.hypervac.com and see why so many companies trust Hypervac to power their operations.Got a wild, funny, unbelievable, or unforgettable story from your time at work? Submit your story to I Used To Work There and you might be featured on the show. Email us at hr@IUsedToWorkThere.com and we'll send you the quick intake form and recording options. We review every submission and would love to hear yours.If you want to connect more directly, ask questions, and grow alongside other driven leaders, join The Catalyst Club. It's Kelly Kennedy's private leadership and business development community built for leaders by leaders, with live sessions,...

We were never designed to do life in a vacuum. In this kickoff to our Family pillar series, Pastor Andy explores the radical reality of Acts 2:42—a community so devoted to one another that it changed history. We often view family through the lens of our past experiences—some beautiful, some broken. But Kingdom family isn't about finding a perfect environment; it's about taking personal responsibility to create one. In this message, we confront the modern barriers to connection (technology, busyness, and walls masquerading as boundaries) and issue a challenge: move from being a consumer of community to a cultivator of it. Revival is sustained in family. Are you ready to show up? Chapter Markers: 00:00 - Introduction: New Series & The Family Pillar 03:52 - The Blueprint: Acts 2:42 and "Devotion" 07:05 - The Goal: Becoming the Most Attractive Family on Earth 10:00 - Acknowledging the Baggage: Family of Origin & Trauma 16:00 - The Power of Diversity: Why We Need Differences 18:43 - The Shift: Taking Personal Responsibility 21:41 - Barrier #1: Technology & Isolation 23:19 - Barrier #2: Walls vs. Boundaries 26:52 - The Solution: Vulnerability & Being Known 30:33 - The Challenge: Find Your 2-to-4 33:37 - Ministry Time: Healing Family Wounds  

Text us your feedback or questions - we'd love to hear from you.Okay, you spotted the victim habit. Now what? If you listened to episode 66 and thought, "that is me,” this is your next step.If you have been in divorce stress, family conflict, or a rough life season, it is so easy to slip into patterns that keep you stuck, right? Not because you're weak. Because your brain is trying to protect you. But protection and progress are not the same thing.In this episode, I walk you through the ways you can disrupt the victim habits that are holding you back. These shifts in your thinking help you get your footing back (yes!), change the pattern, and start moving forward again…. without having to overhaul your whole life overnight.Want to get out of your own way? We talk about:How to spot the moment you are sliding into an old patternThe small changes that create momentum… fastWhy your environment and your inner circle matter more than people realizeWhat to do when you know better but still keep doing the same thingA mindset shift that helps you stop beating yourself up and start taking actionRESOURCESMEDIATION STARTER GUIDE: https://mailchi.mp/2939c428981d/mediation-resourcesKELLY'S BOOK: Victim Is Not Your Name https://a.co/d/e4VguRkAMEN CLINICS: (Dr. Daniel Amen): https://www.amenclinics.comBOOK MENTIONED: Resilient, Rick Hanson PhD https://a.co/d/05blH36PLEGAL & MEDIATION HELP: https://saperelawfirm.comINSTAGRAM: https://instagram.com/saperelawfirmFACEBOOK: https://facebook.com/saperelawfirm

This episode features a pre-recorded live webinar from SDC.com, the leading global platform for ethically non-monogamous dating and education. In Date Smart, Play Safe: Boundaries That Turn You On, Eve Hall breaks down how to communicate desires, boundaries, and safer-sex practices with confidence, respect, and sexual ease. Created for individuals and couples in the lifestyle, this interactive session reframes safety as sexy, consent as arousal, and communication as foreplay, offering practical tools for trust, connection, and better sex. Clear communication of yeses and nos without killing desire Making boundaries feel confident, sexy, and empowering Handling rejection respectfully in dating and lifestyle spaces STI education, including oral transmission risks Why consent, clarity, and curiosity increase attraction Discussing fantasies, kinks, and porn without pressure Safer sex strategies for ethically non-monogamous relationships Topics Covered Sexual boundaries and consent Safer sex vs. “safe sex” STI awareness and testing Ethical non-monogamy communication Fantasies, kinks, and desire-based conversations Rejection, respect, and community culture Body confidence and sexual empowerment Episode MentionedMen's Sexual Health, Nocturnal Erections & Heart Health Guest: Dr. Elliot Justin Eve speaks with Dr. Elliot Justin about the link between erectile function and cardiovascular health, introducing smart ring technology that tracks nocturnal erections, a key indicator of overall health. Fewer than three nightly erections may signal increased cardiovascular risk. How to Connect with Eve & Please Me Websitehttps://pleaseme.online Social Media & Contacthttps://pleaseme.online/contacts Substack Newsletterhttps://pleaseme.substack.com Patreon – Ad-Free Episodes & Bonus Contenthttps://patreon.com/PleaseMePodcast Be a Guest on Please Mehttps://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/beaguestonpleasemepodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join Dr. Aziz live for a 3-day VIRTUAL event: Not Nice LIVE > Go here for details and tickets. Most people don't struggle to speak up because they lack communication skills. They struggle because crossing that line feels dangerous. In this episode, Dr. Aziz Gazipura explores why you may still feel stuck in passivity or half-assertiveness, even if you've spent years working on yourself. You understand the ideas. You know you “should” speak up. And yet, when the moment arrives, something pulls you back. Rather than offering scripts or techniques, Dr. Aziz focuses on the real breakdown point: the guilt and fear that surface just before honesty. He examines how indirectness becomes a form of self-protection, why “gentle” assertiveness often fails to create real change, and how unspoken rules about being good, kind, or acceptable quietly limit your life. This episode isn't about becoming aggressive or finding better words. It's about recognizing the internal code that says, “If I'm really honest, I'll lose everything,” and understanding why that belief continues to run your behavior unless it's directly confronted. If you already know a lot about assertiveness but haven't been able to live it consistently, this conversation names the threshold you may have been standing at for years—and what it actually takes to cross it. --------------------------------- Many people reach a point where they realize something important: being “nice” isn't working anymore. For years—sometimes decades—they believed that staying flexible, not rocking the boat, and avoiding discomfort was the right way to live. They told themselves they were being considerate, kind, easygoing. They avoided pressuring people, avoided conflict, avoided making anyone uncomfortable. And then slowly, quietly, the cost became undeniable. Resentment started to build. Anxiety didn't go away. Relationships felt draining or unsatisfying. Opportunities were missed. A subtle but persistent sense of frustration crept in—often accompanied by the feeling, “I'm not really being me.” So they arrive at an insight that feels like progress: I need to speak up for myself. And that insight is progress. But it's not the breakthrough. Because knowing that you should speak up does not automatically mean that you can—or that when you do, it will actually work. Why “Just Speak Up” Usually Fails Many people assume assertiveness is a simple behavioral skill. Learn the right words. Use the right tone. Say the thing. But assertiveness isn't primarily about what you say. It's about the inner stance you're coming from when you say it. This is where things break down. Often, people move from passivity into what looks like assertiveness on the surface—but internally, they're still trying not to upset anyone. They soften their message. They hint. They explain excessively. They bring things up indirectly, hoping the other person will “get it” without them having to actually claim what they want. So they say something like: “I just wanted to mention that you said you were going to do X, and then it didn't happen… but it's okay, I handled it.” Technically, they spoke up. Emotionally, they didn't. Nothing meaningful changes—and then comes the conclusion: “See? Speaking up doesn't work.” So they retreat back into silence, often with more resentment than before. The Passive → Gentle → Stuck Cycle This is one of the most common cycles I see: First, passivity. Then, a tentative attempt to speak up. Then, disappointment when nothing changes. Then, withdrawal. Over time, resentment accumulates—not just toward the other person, but toward yourself. Because deep down, you know you didn't fully say what was true. What's most painful isn't that the other person didn't change. It's that real contact never happened. You weren't fully there. The Real Barrier Isn't the Situation People usually have a long list of reasons why they can't be more direct: “It's my boss.” “It's my parent.” “It's my partner.” “That would be mean.” “That would be selfish.” “You can't say that in this situation.” These reasons feel convincing because they're emotionally charged. But they all point away from the real issue. The real issue isn't the circumstance. The real issue is that you're operating within a very narrow internal permission structure—one designed to protect you from something that feels catastrophic. What Are You Actually Afraid Of? Imagine being fully honest in a situation where you usually hold back. Not cruel. Not attacking. Just clear. Naming the pattern. Naming the impact. Naming what does and doesn't work for you. Most people feel immediate discomfort just imagining this. Tightness in the chest. A sinking feeling. An urge to pull back. That discomfort usually isn't about politeness. It's about fear and guilt. And underneath those emotions is a deeper belief: If I'm truly myself, I will lose everything. Lose love. Lose approval. Lose safety. Lose belonging. So your nervous system learned a rule long ago: Don't be too real. That rule doesn't disappear just because you intellectually understand assertiveness. The “Hidden Code” Running Your Life Everyone who struggles to speak up is running unconscious lines of code. They sound like: “If I ask for something, I'm selfish.” “If I make someone uncomfortable, I'm bad.” “If I say no, I'll hurt them.” “If I'm direct, I'll be rejected.” What's striking is that most people don't consciously agree with these beliefs. When you say them out loud, they sound extreme—even absurd. And yet, they quietly govern behavior. You don't need more confidence tips until you start identifying these rules. Because as long as they remain unexamined, they run the show. Why Avoidance Keeps the Fear Alive Avoidance feels safe in the short term. In the long term, it guarantees that the fear never resolves. Just like a phobia, the fear only weakens when you approach what you've been avoiding—in a structured, supported way. As long as you keep telling yourself, “I'll say it later,” or “It's not worth it,” or “They won't change anyway,” the old code stays intact. And life quietly shrinks. What Actually Creates Change Change doesn't come from more information. It comes from: Becoming conscious of the rules you're living by Questioning whether they're actually true Taking real interpersonal risks—consistently This isn't about being aggressive. It's about being real. And yes—at first, the right thing often feels wrong. Assertiveness can feel selfish. Honesty can feel dangerous. Boundaries can feel cruel. Those feelings are not signs you're doing something wrong. They're signs you're upgrading old code. A Simple Place to Start Instead of trying to “be more assertive,” start here: Notice one situation where you hold back. Notice what you feel when you imagine being direct. Ask yourself: What rule am I following right now? Just seeing it begins to loosen its grip. From there, real change becomes possible. Final Thought Knowing how to speak up isn't enough because the problem was never a lack of knowledge. The problem is fear of losing connection by being yourself. And the truth—one that must be experienced, not just understood—is this: You don't lose everything by being real. You lose everything by never being you. Until we speak again, have the courage to be who you are— and know, on a deep level, that you're awesome.

Kay Rawlins didn't just follow a calling, she helped transform a city. In this episode, Allison sits down with Kay Rawlins, co-founder of Orlando City and Orlando Pride and Senior Vice President & Club Ambassador, to unpack what it really takes to build something from the ground up, earn community buy-in, and lead with confidence in rooms that underestimate you.Kay shares her unconventional path from dropping out at 17, to owning preschools, to launching a professional soccer club that became a Central Florida institution. They talk about building “the plane while flying it,” guerrilla marketing and community advocates, why women must be over-prepared (for now), and how finding your tribe can carry you through the hardest seasons. Plus: Kay's mentorship philosophy, the power of boundaries, and the simple shift that changes how we check in on people.Connect with Kay Rawlins on LinkedIn 

Joe Pappalardo profiles Captain Will Scott, a stoic tactician who utilized undercover operations and deliberate force, contextualizing the Rangers as agents of political change during 1886-87 enforcing barbed wire boundaries against open-range traditions amidst economic shifts and severe weather.DALLAS 1920

Submit your question and we'll answer it in a future episode!Join our Patreon Community!https://www.patreon.com/badassbreastfeedingpodcastThis week's episode is brought to you by Simple Wishes. Simple Wishes offers hands-free pumping and nursing bras as well as a wide range of nursing clothing. Owned by badass breastfeeding moms in California. Use code BADASS for 50% off at www.simplewishes.com.Today's episode is brought to you by Original Sprout. Original Sprout carries safe and effective styling, body and hair care products that are safe for babies and great for adults. Use code BADASS26 at www.originalsprout.com for 25% off of your purchase.Toddler breastfeeding. Two listener questions for today's episode about toddlerbreastfeeding. There's so much to consider when breastfeeding a toddler, and it'sall good stuff. Listen today as Dianne and Abby discuss boundaries, nutrition andmany more aspects of breastfeeding a toddler.If you are a new listener, we would love to hear from you.  Please consider leavingus a review on iTunes or sending us an email with your suggestions and commentsto badassbreastfeedingpodcast@gmail.com. You can also add your email to ourlist and have episodes sent right to your inbox!Things we talked about:Where this episode came from [6:49]Nursing aversion [10:46]Boundaries [14:06]Nutrition [21:11]Abby quotes herself (from her blog) [26:40]Breastfeeding when pregnant and tandem nursing [34:18]Links to information we discussed or episodes you should check out!https://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com/episode/nursing-aversion-with-melissa-morns/https://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com/episode/how-breastmilk-changes-with-your-child/Set up your consultation with Diannehttps://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.com/consultations/Check out Dianne's blog here:https://diannecassidyconsulting.com/milklytheblog/Follow our Podcast:https://badassbreastfeedingpodcast.comHere is how you can connect with Dianne and Abby:AbbyTheuring ,https://www.thebadassbreastfeeder.comDianne Cassidy @diannecassidyibclc, http://www.diannecassidyconsulting.comMusic we use:Music: Levels of Greatness from We Used to Paint Stars in the Sky (2012)courtesy of Scott Holmes at freemusicarchive.org/music/ScottHolmes

Guest Bio: Steph Thurling is the Executive Director of Christian Parenting and host of The Christian Parenting Podcast as well as a speaker and the co-author of Raising Prayerful Kids. Steph has her master's in youth, family, and culture from Fuller Theological Seminary and has a background in youth and children's ministry. She loves helping families grow closer to each other and to God through meaningful experiences and conversations. Steph lives in Minnesota with her husband and three amazing and hilarious kids.   Show Summary: Parenting and mentoring children comes with countless decisions—but how do you know when to say yes, when to say no, and how to hold loving boundaries that truly matter? Steph Thurling discovered the power of healthy boundaries through a difficult postpartum season and the ever-changing phases of motherhood. In this God Hears Her conversation, Elisa Morgan sits down with Steph to explore what it looks like to set wise, grace-filled boundaries, raise children who love Jesus, and keep the long view in mind through every season of parenting.  Notes and Quotes:  “You learn that you have to say no to things and that some things might be good for another family, but they might not be good for you.” —Steph Thurling  “I learned that He will see me through it and that nothing is permanent. There are seasons for everything. There are seasons that will be easy and there will be seasons that will be hard, but no matter what, He is walking through it with us and will hold our hand and will light our path. We can rely on Him for provision.” —Steph Thurling  “There is good community out there. God puts people in your life to get you through.” —Steph Thurling  “My ultimate goal in my parenting is that my kids will know, love, follow, and share Jesus. That's the best thing we could want for our kids. So, it's really important that while we focus on the good things for our kids, we keep the best thing in mind.” —Steph Thurling  “He is writing their story and I'm not. We have to trust Him with that even if it might look hard for a while.” —Steph Thurling Verses:   Related Episodes:  GHH Ep 89 – Parenting in a Toxic Culture with Dr. Meg Meeker: https://godhearsher.org/podcast/parenting-in-a-toxic-culture/ GHH Ep 133 – Helping Your Children Know Jesus with Sara Cowan Johnson: https://godhearsher.org/podcast/helping-your-children-know-jesus/ GHH Ep 182 – Raising Teens with Amy Betters-Midtvedt: https://godhearsher.org/podcast/raising-teens/  Links:  The Christian Parenting Website: https://www.christianparenting.org/ God Hears Her website: https://go.odb.org/ghh191  Subscribe to the God Hears Her YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@GodHearsHerODBM Episode 215 Bible Study PDF: https://xvetrm.files.cmp.optimizely.com/download/assets/GHH+Podcast_EP215_Proof+2.pdf/e108db7cf60c11f08ab3028702ece562 

I get my blood work done every 90 days and I swear it's the ultimate tip for health in the short term and in the long term and just feeling your best on he daily. So, today I'm going to try to convince you to do the same. Because there is a huge difference between being "not sick" and being truly healthy and if you aren't getting your bloodwork done at least once a year, you really don't know what's going on. Most people only get blood work done when something is wrong. When they feel bad. When they are exhausted. When a symptom won't go away. When a doctor orders it because something already happened. Instead of doing it reactively, we are talking about doing it proactively. How can you know what your body needs? What supplements or adjustments to your lifestyle… it's almost impossible without bloodwork. It tells you how your hormones are functioning. How inflamed your body is. How well you are absorbing nutrients. How your cholesterol is trending. How stressed your nervous system is. How your metabolism is working. How your immune system is functioning. Today's episode is about why doing blood work every 90 days can completely change your relationship with your health, how the top longevity experts think about tracking biomarkers, how it helps you personalize supplements and lifestyle instead of guessing, and how it allows you to catch problems early before they become a real problem.  Let's go! Your blood work is your internal dashboard. It's crazy that most people are driving their body blind!! I do full blood work every 90 days and I swear by it.  I'm going to break it all down today. Every 90 days I sit down with my functional medicine doctor, Dr. Singler, and we go through everything. We look at what's trending up. What's trending down. What needs support. What needs to be addressed. We adjust supplements. We talk about lifestyle changes. We sometimes talk about peptides. We look at stress markers like cortisol. We look at hormones. We look at inflammation. We look at cholesterol. We look at nutrient deficiencies. It's not just "do you have a disease." It's "what is your body asking for." And that quarterly check-in has become one of the most powerful forms of self-care I do. Today's episode is about why doing blood work every 90 days can completely change your relationship with your health, how the top longevity experts think about tracking biomarkers, how it helps you personalize supplements and lifestyle instead of guessing, and how it allows you to catch problems early before they become diagnoses. Because knowledge is power. And when it comes to your health, awareness is leverage. ***Why the Best Health and Longevity Experts Obsess Over Biomarkers When you listen to people like Peter Attia, Andrew Huberman, and leaders in longevity medicine, one theme is constant. You can't manage what you don't measure. They talk constantly about biomarkers. Blood markers. Hormones. Cholesterol. Glucose. Inflammation. Nutrients. Stress markers. Not because numbers are the goal. Because trends tell the truth. You don't need to wait until something is "out of range" to take action. You can see patterns forming. You can see directions your health is moving. You can intervene early. Longevity is not built by reacting to disease. Longevity is built by managing risk decades before disease shows up. Blood work lets you see inside the body instead of guessing from the outside. Energy, mood, sleep, weight, anxiety, motivation, focus, hormones, immune function… all of it leaves fingerprints in your labs. *** Why Every 90 Days Is a Sweet Spot Doing blood work every 90 days creates a rhythm. It's long enough for meaningful changes to occur. It's short enough to catch problems early. It's frequent enough to personalize your approach. This cadence allows you to: • See how supplements are actually working • Know if lifestyle changes are helping • Track hormones as they shift • Monitor cholesterol trends • Watch inflammation markers • Identify deficiencies before symptoms • See how stress is impacting your body It turns health into an ongoing relationship instead of a once-a-year appointment. Rather than living on autopilot, it becomes a quarterly check-in. "How is my body actually doing?" "What does it need right now?" "What needs to change?" ***The Power of Baselines One of the most underrated benefits of regular blood work is baselines. When you know what your normal looks like, everything changes. If something shifts, you see it faster. If you get sick, you have something to compare to. If symptoms show up, you're not starting from zero. Your baseline becomes your personal health fingerprint. This is especially powerful with hormones, thyroid, cholesterol, inflammatory markers, glucose, and nutrient levels. Medicine is often built around population averages. But health is personal. Your optimal range is not always the same as "normal." Blood work every 90 days teaches you your body. ***Personalization Instead of Guessing Most people take supplements blindly. They try what's trending. What a friend is taking. What TikTok says. What an ad promises. Blood work removes guessing. You stop throwing things at your body and hoping. You start making informed decisions. When I review labs with my doctor, we are not just looking for problems. We are optimizing. We adjust supplements based on what my body is actually showing. We talk about hormones. We talk about stress. We talk about sleep. We talk about hydration. We talk about inflammation. We talk about recovery. If cortisol is elevated, the conversation shifts to lifestyle, nervous system, sleep, slowing down, hydration, sauna, recovery. If something is low, we talk about absorption, nutrition, and targeted support. It becomes a dialogue with your body instead of a guessing game. ***Emotional Health Lives in the Labs Too This is not just physical. Your labs often reflect your emotional and mental load. Stress hormones. Inflammation. Blood sugar instability. Nutrient depletion. Your body keeps the receipts. Blood work gives you objective data to support lifestyle changes. Sometimes the answer is not another supplement. Sometimes it's rest. Sleep. Boundaries. Sunlight. Movement. Slowing down. It's incredibly empowering to see that connection clearly. It turns self-care into strategy, not indulgence. ***How I Do It and How You Could Do It The way I do it is higher touch and more expensive. I use a mobile blood draw that comes to my house. Then I schedule a long call with my functional medicine doctor to go through everything. We take our time. We look at the full picture. We build a plan. But you do not have to do it that way. You can ask your doctor to order labs. You can go to a clinic and make an appointment so you're not waiting forever. You can get a basic panel and build from there. You can even upload your results into ChatGPT and use it as an educational tool to help you understand what the markers mean and what questions to ask your doctor. This doesn't have to be complicated. It just has to be consistent. ***Why This Is One of the Best Investments You Can Make We spend money on convenience. On clothes. On food. On homes. On trips. On businesses. But nothing affects the quality of your life more than the quality of your health. Energy. Mood. Confidence. Focus. Longevity. Relationships. Joy. Blood work every 90 days is not an expense. It is intelligence. It is prevention. It is personalization. It is early detection. It is self-leadership. It is saying, "I care about how long I live and how well I live." ***Most people wait for symptoms to tell them something is wrong. But by the time symptoms show up, your body has usually been whispering for a long time. Blood work lets you hear the whispers. It lets you see trends before problems. Adjust before crashes. Support before burnout. Correct before disease. For me, doing blood work every 90 days has become a quarterly health check-in with myself. How am I really doing? What does my body need? What needs to change? What needs support? It keeps me connected to my health instead of disconnected from it. And I truly believe this is one of the most powerful forms of preventative self-care anyone can adopt. So if you take anything from this episode, let it be this. Don't wait for something to go wrong.  Start tracking your health while things are going right. There's nothing more important or worth spending your time and money on!