I've been writing diary entries for 13 years detailing academia, existential crises, failed relationships and seemingly eternal crushes as a way to immortalise memories I wanted to keep forever and work through muddled emotions. I wanted to share some of these entries along with advice and lessons I've learnt from the experiences I've had so far so you don't make the same mistakes as I have or so we can commiserate and laugh together!
The final episode of season 1! Specs Lessons host Maz speaks about the importance of female friendships, the opinions and gossip garnered and their development or dissolution over the years. References: Valentines Day https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine%27s_Day_(2010_film) Shock Value https://open.spotify.com/album/4BxB8U8QgpR4UCvJ0moj8Z Duke of Edinburgh Award https://www.dofe.org/ People mentioned: Aysha - A close friend from church Holly & Alina - childhood best friend clique Cameron (ep. 1) - first "boyfriend"? Tia - childhood best friend Florence - Grand Frenemy the 1st
Episode 3/3 of the coercive control relationship series. Maz discusses the messy aftermath, forcibly trying the out of sight out of mind approach and dating casually again. People mentioned: Tia - my best friend Ola - my ex-boyfriend Richard, Antonia (ep.2) and Courtney - secondary school friends Uncle Mark - an older guy I went to University with that I dated briefly Louise - a summer work colleague from University Moses/Teacher - my OG Tinder 'superlike' the I dated for a while Harry - my first Tinder match I met up with Julianne - a 'friend' Ameera - a friend from University References: Malmaison https://www.malmaison.com/locations/london/ The Gibson http://www.thegibsonbar.london/ Sbtv Summer Cookout https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBpz20aKwMk&ab_channel=SBTV%3AMusic Saatchi Gallery https://www.saatchigallery.com/ Music: Crew - GoldLink ft. Brent Faiyaz & Shy Glizzy https://open.spotify.com/album/5nltbdv58POHGL7YHfNEOz
Part 2 of 3 of the decline of a fairy-tale 'friends with benefits' situationship turned full blown relationship. I discuss in depth different elements of emotionally abusive intimate relationships with elements of coercive control and explore the psyche of narcissistic sociopaths. The constant push pull of me trying desperately to regain focus and normality in my final year of University whilst my then ex-boyfriend was more interested in trying to slowly discourage and gaslight me back into his control. Domestic Abuse information and advice: Refuge https://www.refuge.org.uk National Domestic Abuse Helpline https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk Freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline - 0808 2000 247 Women's Aid UK https://www.womensaid.org.uk Musical References: Young Thug - JEFFREY https://open.spotify.com/album/7EpUpNUkkEGnaCvkcn1j4H Missy Elliott - Supa Dupa Fly https://open.spotify.com/album/6UkdyvPElK6JDkyeRClbI2 Migos - Culture https://open.spotify.com/album/2AvupjUeMnSffKEV05x222 Cardi B - Gangtsa Bitch Music Vol. 2 https://open.spotify.com/album/47IM97GbpNyDREWlr2HtNM Etta Bond - #Bad4Me https://open.spotify.com/album/76N74IIAic4X7LThS0ADKQ Bob Marley: Deep Cuts Playlist https://music.apple.com/us/playlist/bob-marley-deep-cuts/pl.168393eab99e45ffad5bd19e4b750c09 RayBLK - Havisham https://rayblk.bandcamp.com/releases Durt https://open.spotify.com/album/1P29D0CPo7YeQnUUL13SEh People Mentioned: Ola - my second ex-boyfriend mentioned in episode 7 TJ - one night stand cum rebound Eric - my first ex-boyfriend mentioned in episodes 1,3 & 6 Shaneece - a mutual friend of Eric who we met at college Tia - childhood best friend Julianne - a 'friend' from college Binky and Kelly - University housemates Lenka - University colleague who I met whilst working in the library
Desperation calls for drastic measures. After the breakup of a serious relationship, the loneliness drove me to try to rebound only for feelings to get caught but was it mutual? How to tear yourself away from a situationship that no longer serves you.
What is a real healthy relationship meant to feel like? This second part of the context episode shows the other more positive side of dating is still full of ups and downs but undoubtedly the joy outweighs any of the bad
A context episode spanning from ages 16-18. I discuss breaking into the confusing world of dating with different expectations and a lack of communication.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, what's the link between self esteem and representation? Is male attraction the most important indication of physical attractiveness? Episode 4 explores self esteem and inadvertently coming into womanhood through snapshots from age 12 until 16.
Episode 3 explores the teenage rite of rebellion - strain hunting. Weed tourism, the good, the bad and the difficulty of quitting once the fun is over. I share my unpopular opinion about weed culture and the lessons I learned from my own dabbling that I wish I knew before I started.
Have you ever done something you said you'd never ever do in your whole entire life? This week we discuss coercion in different eras and how to teach yourself to begin to identify manipulation, take charge of your own sexuality and have new experiences because YOU want to.
Did you like him a lot or was it true love? A deep dive into the plethora of unfulfilled crushes and how I used to deal with them, from a little black book of crushes, a 2 year long one sided love story and an ultimate friendzone crush. Has anything really changed? Including excerpts from 2007-2014
A brief overview on your host, the background of Specs Lessons and the point of this whole thing!