Tales of Insecurity

Sometimes moving forward isn't an option, despite your best intentions. You don't reset to get your bearings, but because the rug keeps getting pulled out from under you. You're back to basics, even with all your complexes. How many licks does it take to find your center, before you find a different snack?

Tales of Insecurity Returns on a bi-weekly schedule and a new optimistic view! Everything is going to be better! Hooray! All this hope everywhere. The birds are singing, the bees are chirping, let's all be the best people we can be until we fail again. Transcript available here: https://talesofinsecurity.files.wordpress.com/2018/07/toi-201-starting-over-again-leah-lindsaychen.pdf

Tales of Insecurity is still on hiatus, but will be returning soon. For now, here is a filler episode, getting down to basics. Being alive, what a challenge.

Tales of Insecurity is on a brief hiatus, but in the meantime, here is an interview LiA did in an effort to reach out to the community. Whatever community there is. Is that a meaningful term? Is it something anyone has? LiA doesn't really know what people have.

LiA has been a bit too self-indulgent lately, and realizes she needs an outside perspective on her show. She likes having all this creative control, but completely unchecked, maybe her thoughts are off somewhere where no one can understand them. Consequently, she has outsourced this week's episode to someone else who doesn't exist, who adapted someone else's play, and maybe LiA won't be so immersed in her own navel for once. We can hope.

Do you think about the people around you? Do you worry that you're making too much noise, and that you might accidentally activate your long-term partner's PTSD while you're recording your podcast? This might be a reasonable fear, but maybe you can't practice your accordion because you worry any stranger walking by might experience some slight annoyance. You failed to recycle every bottle! You caused global warming! It's too hard to be alive.

The one advantage that you can't have when you're holding all the cards is you no longer get to say, "That's not fair!" And yet, you still can, as much as you want. Did you know that unarmed schoolchildren are trying to take our guns away? We're all the heroes of our own stories, and heroes have to face adversity. Sometimes, we have to make our own, no matter whether there are bigger problems or not. There are. There are so many problems.

Are you doing okay? Sure, sure. Good to hear. You have to convince yourself all the time, though if you sound like you're trying to convince yourself, that sounds even less convincing than nothing at all. How do you say anything in a way that sounds authentic? How do you find your place in the world without memory? And what about the psycho-sexual development of children? How does that fit into anything? Why would I even bring that up? Why would I ever bring that up.

What if you thought your depression was virtuous, and decided anything that made you happy was destroying a deeper satisfaction you gain from a sense of moral superiority? What if you did that? What if you never enjoyed anything else because you felt an intrinsic loss of your independence any time you did? That's the theme of this week's episode, plus sexy librarians.

Why don't you try solving all your problems? Why even have problems in the first place? It's all about ableism this week, and LiA has the flu. She recorded a podcast anyway, just to prove what willpower can do. All the doctors say it works, and they went to school a long time.

This week, LiA is joined by special guest Michael Abbott to discuss gender dysphoria. Michael Abbott doesn't know anything, and has dumb opinions, and why would anyone revive him just to mock him? What a dumb idea.

You're modern. You are media-savvy and hardened by the drama you've come to depend on to compensate for the lack of direction in your own life. You have a few feelings left though. Humiliation maybe? Guilt? You're still determined to be nice to the people around you, and there must be a feeling in there somewhere. Maybe there's no sound more terrifying than someone else's laughter, maybe you want to care, and that's your problem. Maybe someone cares about you. Wouldn't that be the worst?