CHRAUMA

This is it folks -- the finale of season 1! In today's episode Choi and Sam share key takeaways for listeners consolidating all topics to date. After our journey together navigating past traumas from the church and from AAPI culture we wanted to reflect and highlight the main messages we hope you guys take with you. A big thanks to everyone who tuned in this season, let us know what you think!

Regardless of what church he joins Choi knows that he's going to run into some friction and turbulence along the way and in this week's episode our dynamic duo discuss how Choi would do church differently this time around knowing what he knows now. After a long season of self discovery and self awareness will he be able to turn his chrauma and scars into wisdom and action?

Last episode we talked about the stigma around church hopping and how to balance finding a church that works for you while not being overly consumeristic about the process. Today we discuss Choi's personal framework that he'll be using as he looks to find a new church and community to join.

Even though church has always been a huge part of our lives we're never really taught how to look for a church or what that process looks like. Choi and Sam discuss church hopping culture and what it would look like for Choi to find his way back to a church.

Worship has always been a part of the Christian experience but why do we do it and how does it differ from other music that we listen to? Choi and Sam discuss worship culture and how praise is just another form of self-expression.

Feeling ashamed of yourself might be one of the shittiest feelings in the world. Shame is something we can all relate to and have battled with at one point and in today's episode Sam and Choi discuss shame culture, which has unfortunately become a foundation of the AAPI and church experience, and what you can do to start overcoming it.

In this episode Choi and Sam do a deep dive into the concept of authentic identity and the struggle that many people face in Christian and AAPI cultures when it comes to finding your inner voice and true authentic self. Choi shares the story of his identity crisis and the ongoing journey he's on in discovering who he really is vs. who he or others think he should be.

Growing up in the church, and even afterwards as a young adult, Choi felt like there was this unwritten rule or promise that you'd find your identity and true fulfillment by being a devout Christian and dedicated church go-er. This false assumption coupled with the collectivism that is core to most AAPI cultures produced an environment that really stifled and muted his inner exploration and voice. In this episode Sam and Choi kick this topic off by sharing what that experience was like and some good starting places for getting connected with your authentic inner self as they continue their journey into self-discovery, identity, and true fulfillment.

Pastors tend to be held on a very high pedestal and are treated like members of Jesus' spiritual Avengers when in reality they're human AF like you and me. Choi used to give way too much power and influence away to these figures which ultimately did more harm than good and shares with us his experience and take on the sub-culture surrounding pastors. Sam shares his experience as a pastor providing perspective and context to what it's like to be in those shoes -- a look behind the curtain in a space that's typically very guarded and opaque.

Episode 1 focuses on Choi's early upbringing and his not so glamorous experience with the church--a community and institution that's been a huge part of his life since day 1. This episode gets real about how his church and christian experience wasn't as positive as advertised and how there are some serious scar tissues that deserve to be acknowledged, validated, and explored.