Guffanti Brunettes

Emily's might have to give up her Haunted Mansion. Sophia's doctors are not communicating well with her. If your mood is almost entirely dependent on the people around you, does that make you an empath? Follow us @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario

Emily is afraid she will never want to socialize again. Sophia has delayed phase sleep disorder. Would you drink your friend's breast milk? Follow us @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario

Emily is slowly going deaf. Sophia is taking on major Roman Catholic plans for her future. Geese are super scary but also heartbreakingly stupid.Follow us @guffantibrunettes@therealemilywilson@sophiapercario

Emily tore a muscle in her chest and therefore spent the week thinking she was dying. Sophia explains why she took a break from le podcast. Would you s*ck a Big Fat C*ck for 10k if you weren't allowed to tell your partner? follow us @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario

The brunettes are back and LIVE from Quarantayn! Emily tells tales about her quarantine at home thus far. Sophia has a disturbing dream about one of her cats. Suburban mothers are actually offspring of the Devil Himself.Recorded over Instagram Live. Follow @guffantibrunettes to find out when to tune into the next live broadcast@therealemilywilson@sophiapercario

Emily is determined to be a guest on the 3rd Hour of the Today Show, and also detests kids. Chloe has actually already been on the Today Show, and works with kids. Being alone is high key essential to discovering who you are. We cover it all in this one!@guffantibrunettes@therealemilywilson@chloe_troast

Emily divulges about her trip to Paris and London. Stewart details her daily lunch breaks. There's a cooky conductor on the 7 train...@guffantibrunettes@therealemilywilson@stewartandchill

Emily talks about her conflicting reputations in high school. Jamie doesn't mind paying for her date, as long as they get her a private jet home. Ryan Beggs (episode 22) sprinkles in some words of wisdom. Poetry is dead! @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @jamie.linn.watson

Emily recalls the advantages of being a young [and super hot] female postmate. Ryan doesn't like giving his seat up to elderly people on the subway (okay agist vibes?). Also discussed: are threesomes more of a gay couple thing than a straight couple thing?   @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @ryanmbeggs

Emily is joined by the hilarious and endearing Sam Blumenfeld for an episode of vivacious discussion! They hit on how important it is to change after high school, how much of their neuroses they hide from everyone and how there is absolutely no world, like none at all, in which Sam would ever, ever, EVER find Emily attractive! Woohoo!   @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @samblumenfeld15

Emily is joined by spectacular guest host and good friend Liz Demmon. They discuss how astrology is the new religion, millisecond suicidal thoughts are totes normal and boarding school turns you gay. Enjoy! ***The episode gets cut short toward the end, it may totally f*cking catch you off guard and we are so sorry, but you will most likely survive*** @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @edemmon13

Emily just found out she's not 16 anymore. Sophia is scared of her own mania. Celine Dion's life is perfect.   @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario

Emily debates switching to the rhythm method. Sophia turns 24 and talks about her Big Birthday Blans (plans). Nail salon employees MUST stop being bullies. @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario

The morning after his banger surprise party, John joins the Brunettes on the blue couch as Guffanti's first ever guest. Emily is convinced she is getting evicted. Sophia recalls a violent phase in her life. Apparently smoke has been blown up people's asses since the 1700s.   @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario @jawnhiggins

Emily's landlord has found her "disturbing." Sophia is on her way to becoming a practicing psychic. Childhood rage is incomparable to all other forms of rage.   @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario

Emily ponders the wholesomeness of religion. Sophia recalls her extended absence from high school. The first ever Guffanti listener questions are answered.   @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario

Emily explains how drunk words are not necessarily sober thoughts. Sophia recalls her terribly embarrassing pre-braces mouth. Those are about the only two G-rated topics in this filthy, graphic episode. Send us questions @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario

Emily has a supernatural connection with Jennifer Aniston. Sophia has a bad case of Department Store Depression. Who are more nuts in the head, porn stars or YouTubers?   Send us questions @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario

Emily does not like romantic sex. Sophia has Asian genes. Apparently the CIA is f*ckin' stupid.   Send us questions @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario

Emily fell vulnerable to the manipulative staff of Aritzia. Sophia had a 48-hour adventure with an incel. Apparently you actually CAN affirm certain bodily issues away.   Send us questions @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario

Emily is experiencing major identity anxiety. Sophia is having dreams that worms are coming out of her mouth. Apparently it is possible to put the ozone layer in your bloodstream. Send questions @guffantibrunettes @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario  

Emily reflects on her old ways of expressing feminism. Sophia glued somebody's eyelid shut. If you ever wrong Sophia, she will steal your phone and burn photos of you.   @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario @guffantibrunettes

Emily is too cuddly of a sleeper. Sophia will now go by Lady Gaga. All drunk girls compare boobs.   @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario @guffantibrunettes

Emily will never not wear makeup again. Sophia has a full-grown beard. If The Bachelor did a gay season, would it just be Bachelor in Paradise? @therealemilywilson@sophiapercario@guffantibrunettes

Emily likes corn way too much. Sophia tries to hold down her wicked Jack Daniel's hangover. Where is the Middle East?   @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario @guffantibrunettes

Emily discovers her hound dog sense of smell. Sophia is going blind and she knows exactly why. Are you still supposed to pick up your dog's shit if the shit is wet shit?   @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario @guffantibrunettes

Emily is losing all her social skills. Sophia has a chronic rear-ending problem. Stereotypes are sometimes very useful.   @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario @guffantibrunettes

Emily has a paranormal experience in her apartment. Sophia goes to Portugal and finds herself with a very giving gentleman. Sometimes women just need to cry.   @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario @guffantibrunettes

Emily is done with being done with negative energy. Sophia gets bullied by a doctor. Instagram is poisoning all of us.   @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario @guffantibrunettes

Emily has a fear of pooping. Sophia uses affirmations as contraception. If you want a boob job, get a boob job. @therealemilywilson @sophiapercario @guffantibrunettes