Music Sucks and I Want to Die

Jake and Matt spend an hour and some tax talking about one of the most influential jazz (??) record labels to ever exist and why they're just so damn cool. Wait they like music?

Matt and Jake bring on a special guest (Michael Conklin) to talk about his life and the life in general of a gigging horn player and how it contrasts to being a rhythm section player. Somehow they end up on a discussion of the entire music industry and its lack of money. How they get there no one actually knows.

Matt and Jake take another stab at reviewing the current top Billboard album. In doing so they find out that the album is REALLY BAD! Who would've thought? But perhaps there's more to Morgan Wallen's Dangerous than meets the eye.

Should you go to music school? Pursue a career in music? Do you want to end up doing a terrible podcast that no one listens to? Well you're in the right place I guess. Jake and Matt provide advice for the young budding musician.

Matt and Jake sail the tumultuous seas of the music industry and its relation to piracy throughout the years. They definitely have never done it themselves. WEIGH ANCHORRRRRRRRRRRR!

Jake and Matt talk about covers. The worst ones ever and ones that make you feel GOOOOOOD

Jake and Matt discuss the songs that are terrible beyond all reason yet still enjoy because they're stupid. Be warned, you will think less of them (if that's possible) after listening to this episode.

Jake and Matt take a good hard look at 2 popular albums released this year, and in general the dumpster fire that 2020 has become. Bring a Prozac

Matt and Jake discuss how to talk about melody in theoretical terms and also why not to. In doing so they give examples from what they consider to be some of the greatest melodies of all time and try to nail down exactly what makes each of them tick.

In this episode, Matt and Jake attempt to make esoteric music theory relating to jazz not be boring as all hell. They tackle George Russell's Lydian Chromatic Concept, Henry Threadgill's intervallic improvisation, and more. Bring some coffee.

In this episode, Jake and Matt talk about the all-important mental health topic: burnout. This episode features Greg Smith, a badass pianist who burnt out so hard he moved across the country and switched careers. They all discuss why.

Jake and Matt review 3 songs, one good, one bad, and one ugly. One of the most positive episodes you'll find on this podcast.

In this episode, Matt and Jake interview Cindy O'Connor, a film/tv composer/orchestrator. They talk about what it's like getting your start in the industry, current practices, unions, and all sorts of miscellaneous other topics, like Pat Benatar

In the second of the lightning round series, Matt and Jake tackle several topics ranging from horn players being divas to Van Halen's legacy to Yugioh... wait what?

Jake and Matt each pick a band that they think could be considered the worst of all time. Obviously an extremely scientific episode.

Matt and Jake tackle Adam Neely's video, "Music Theory and White Supremacy." They discuss what's good about the video, what doesn't quite work, and why Adam Neely always just comes across as a condescending douchebag at all times of every day.

Matt and Jake continue their discussion on vocalists, but this time a professional vocalist comes in to tell them how stupid they are.

Jake and Matt review three albums, one retro, one modern, and one RANDOM! Modern salsa, weird rockabilly punk, and hard bop abound.

Jake and Matt discuss a very hot topic: why vocalists are the worst thing ever. In their defense, they try to be as balanced as possible for as long as possible before they degrade into an endless rant about their shitty vocalist experiences.

In the second of the series, Matt and Jake discuss 2 artists/groups they like and talk about why, with example clips.

Do you hate the Beatles? Do you think Captain Beefheart made the best rock album of all time? You're fucking stupid, but listen to this episode anyway. Matt and Jake discuss Piero Scaruffi, everyone's favorite controversial music critic.

Jake and Matt tackle the difficult task of how to evaluate music. They also discuss what makes music so unique as an art form.

In this new series, Jake and Matt review 3 songs, 1 good, you get the rest. Also guest appearance by Uli Behringer that will make you cringe beyond belief.

Special guest David Salonen (sound engineer, guitarist, bassist) comes on to argue with Matt and Jake about who's worse at shows: sound guys or musicians. We'll let you determine the outcome.

Matt and Jake discuss the best and worst covers of all time, and what makes them so. Prepare for pain.

Jake and Matt talk about the current global pandemic... of shitty pop albums. Oh and COVID-19 I guess

Jake and Matt tackle various music topics. While drinking enough malt liquor to get them through it all. You'll probably need it to.

The 2 Live Crew: are they good? Ahead of their time? Visionaries? Or the fucking worst rap group of all time? Jake and Matt will try to decide. Warning: this episode contains insanely stupid and disgusting lyrics.

Matt and Jake have a guest come on to talk about jazz and its role in society today. After this episode you may understand why no one actually listens to it.

Jake and Matt discuss what they believe to be the artists who fucked up the most, in perhaps some interesting ways.

Jake and Matt review 3 albums in the first of this new series. This episode features Wilco, Joni Mitchell, and Deicide. What a combo.

Special guest Terry Monstrosity joins Jake and Matt to discuss his new album Subdued Exclamation and the Seatlte rap scene in general.

Jake and Matt talk about the evolution of the ways music's been listened to since the dawn of mankind. You may think this episode will be boring, but you're right!

Jam Sessions suck. Matt and Jake explain why. Fuck life.

EP 4 - Classical Music (ft. Joe Kaufman) by If you don't want to kill yourself, you're not listening.

In this first of a recurring series, Jake and Matt talk about music they don't hate and why they don't hate it, temporarily reprieving them of the desire to kill themselves... for now. Artists mentioned: Morphine, The Clash, Juan Luis Guerra, Andrew Hill

In episode 2, Matt and Jake talk about the history and anatomy of the ever-important album, the primary format for recorded music since forever (until now of course because it's fucking dying a horrible death).

Episode 1 - Life as a Gigging Musician. In the first episode ever, Jake and Matt go over the basics of life as a working musician. Mostly the things that suck.