Podcasts about Fuck

Ugh, it's a fuckin riddle. *sad eyes* No fair. *super sad eyes* Super no fair *Super duper sad eyes* {Enter The Multiverse} YO! LETS GO TO TUBBY'S! YEEEAAAAAHHHHH! ITS TUBBY TUESDAYS!!! “TUBBY TUESDAYS?!” “Tubby Tuesdays” WELCOME TO TUBBY'S–I hope you're having a very Tubby day! We are now! Well, that's what I like to hear! Happy Tubby Tuesday everybody, right this way! All the tables are booths! …uh…okay. Before: What the fuck is Tubby Tuesdays? Oh, Tubby's? It's a desert buffet and adult video game arcade with an all-you-can-drink bar on tuesdays. Oh, well, that's… –and the world's first BBW-Only Afterhours Strip Club. Oh! –after sundown. Sundown?! Fraid so. TARTAR SAUCE! MORE TARTAR SAUCE! Why on EARTH would you eat tartar sauce on a waffle!? IT's a brioche waffle, okay–and the tartar sauce is candied bread pudding custard glaze-based. Oh! Gross! Its not gross! It goes dope on brioche waffles! I've got to get out of here. What!? It's not even sundown! Oh my actual gosh. I have to find that envelope before things get even– WHO'S READY FOR BRALESS HOT CHOCOLATE! *gasps* BUT IT'S NOT EVEN SUNDOWN! Check yo watch honey, because i do believe it's daylight savings time! Oh why yes, I do have the sudden urge to “spring” forward! I'm leaving!! That's okay! UGH! Hey wait– What. .[beat} Are you sure you don't want any hot chocolate? UGHHHH! It's braless! Yeah, a/he was under my Christmas tree with flashing lights on and everything. Man, you got Chris Kringled?! What! That's a thing! How does everybody know that's a thing but me? Was there presents? Yeah there was— wait how'd you know. Everybody knows about Chris Kringling, brother. I didn't! It's a web trend. What! On where? I have all the On WeMax! What is WeMax?! You don't know? I don't. A Bullet for my Valentine— I love myself. Man, I don't even know which mixtape that came out of. Right! Suddenly, When digging through the bullet in my brain, The finger in my skull Reminded me the pain I live with everyday And I Cannot put away This is my Suicidal thoughts My creeping Homicidal mind But I don't want to off you all I just want to end my time On earth So long A GUNSHOT rings throughout the tightly clenched red brick walls of somewhere in New York; it seems to echo forever as if the city itself were empty and cold, ricocheting off the sky with a ring into the air— the sound making a journey into space. Girl, you talk too much So go and level up Shut the fuhhhck up Not just the front door I'm not going on a shooting spree The only one I want is me The only one I shot is me The only one I got is me All of a sudden I feel really good, But also really bad— Like I'm high or something Just on the verge of uncontrollably crying And I know I'm definitely about to lose my shit But I'm off a little, and also on a little Like something just kicked in and I don't know what I haven't taken anything— Just fried potatoes in coconut oil, And I've been eating differently But getting through the stress with the comfort of simple products and the massive loads of work I've been sorting… I don't know. I feel horrible, but also like I just woke up—like if I sleep I'll be dreaming some place I ain't awake really because I'm aching… Achey at the thought of being up and left to ponder What is really up with my mind I'm longing— Thinking swiftly but also sickly of how I'm decaying, Same thing every day but it only gets a little longer; And although time itself is getting shorter, It still goes on, and I'm mourning everything I had to know, But now just seems forgotten Stolen Grace and getting awkward, And really just on the wrong show, A form of thoughts, impossible conglomerate And really only waiting for my greying thunderclouds to roll in Storms upon the wing of a swaying plane As if it may just falter, But all hope knows it really won't, And we'll all land safely. —Tom Hanks. Sometimes my life doesn't make any sense: Lil bitz Remember when you were a kid, And the mall was the greatest place you could think of going? That was the day— “Let's go to the mall!” Then you grow up broke, And I'm like “Holy shit— “the mall”? When was the last time I even went to “the mall”? Fuck that noise. The mall is where I'm not going. The only thing that's going on in that place is tAkiNG mY mOnEY. Fuck that noise. I ain't going to the mall. I don't need anything from these places. fuck the mall. The mall as a broke adult is arguably the WORST place you can go. “Ohh, what's in here” “Don't matter— Do you got money?” “That's right.” Fuck the mall: Arguably the worst place, maybe. {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū.

Ugh, it's a fuckin riddle. *sad eyes* No fair. *super sad eyes* Super no fair *Super duper sad eyes* {Enter The Multiverse} YO! LETS GO TO TUBBY'S! YEEEAAAAAHHHHH! ITS TUBBY TUESDAYS!!! “TUBBY TUESDAYS?!” “Tubby Tuesdays” WELCOME TO TUBBY'S–I hope you're having a very Tubby day! We are now! Well, that's what I like to hear! Happy Tubby Tuesday everybody, right this way! All the tables are booths! …uh…okay. Before: What the fuck is Tubby Tuesdays? Oh, Tubby's? It's a desert buffet and adult video game arcade with an all-you-can-drink bar on tuesdays. Oh, well, that's… –and the world's first BBW-Only Afterhours Strip Club. Oh! –after sundown. Sundown?! Fraid so. TARTAR SAUCE! MORE TARTAR SAUCE! Why on EARTH would you eat tartar sauce on a waffle!? IT's a brioche waffle, okay–and the tartar sauce is candied bread pudding custard glaze-based. Oh! Gross! Its not gross! It goes dope on brioche waffles! I've got to get out of here. What!? It's not even sundown! Oh my actual gosh. I have to find that envelope before things get even– WHO'S READY FOR BRALESS HOT CHOCOLATE! *gasps* BUT IT'S NOT EVEN SUNDOWN! Check yo watch honey, because i do believe it's daylight savings time! Oh why yes, I do have the sudden urge to “spring” forward! I'm leaving!! That's okay! UGH! Hey wait– What. .[beat} Are you sure you don't want any hot chocolate? UGHHHH! It's braless! Yeah, a/he was under my Christmas tree with flashing lights on and everything. Man, you got Chris Kringled?! What! That's a thing! How does everybody know that's a thing but me? Was there presents? Yeah there was— wait how'd you know. Everybody knows about Chris Kringling, brother. I didn't! It's a web trend. What! On where? I have all the On WeMax! What is WeMax?! You don't know? I don't. A Bullet for my Valentine— I love myself. Man, I don't even know which mixtape that came out of. Right! Suddenly, When digging through the bullet in my brain, The finger in my skull Reminded me the pain I live with everyday And I Cannot put away This is my Suicidal thoughts My creeping Homicidal mind But I don't want to off you all I just want to end my time On earth So long A GUNSHOT rings throughout the tightly clenched red brick walls of somewhere in New York; it seems to echo forever as if the city itself were empty and cold, ricocheting off the sky with a ring into the air— the sound making a journey into space. Girl, you talk too much So go and level up Shut the fuhhhck up Not just the front door I'm not going on a shooting spree The only one I want is me The only one I shot is me The only one I got is me All of a sudden I feel really good, But also really bad— Like I'm high or something Just on the verge of uncontrollably crying And I know I'm definitely about to lose my shit But I'm off a little, and also on a little Like something just kicked in and I don't know what I haven't taken anything— Just fried potatoes in coconut oil, And I've been eating differently But getting through the stress with the comfort of simple products and the massive loads of work I've been sorting… I don't know. I feel horrible, but also like I just woke up—like if I sleep I'll be dreaming some place I ain't awake really because I'm aching… Achey at the thought of being up and left to ponder What is really up with my mind I'm longing— Thinking swiftly but also sickly of how I'm decaying, Same thing every day but it only gets a little longer; And although time itself is getting shorter, It still goes on, and I'm mourning everything I had to know, But now just seems forgotten Stolen Grace and getting awkward, And really just on the wrong show, A form of thoughts, impossible conglomerate And really only waiting for my greying thunderclouds to roll in Storms upon the wing of a swaying plane As if it may just falter, But all hope knows it really won't, And we'll all land safely. —Tom Hanks. Sometimes my life doesn't make any sense: Lil bitz Remember when you were a kid, And the mall was the greatest place you could think of going? That was the day— “Let's go to the mall!” Then you grow up broke, And I'm like “Holy shit— “the mall”? When was the last time I even went to “the mall”? Fuck that noise. The mall is where I'm not going. The only thing that's going on in that place is tAkiNG mY mOnEY. Fuck that noise. I ain't going to the mall. I don't need anything from these places. fuck the mall. The mall as a broke adult is arguably the WORST place you can go. “Ohh, what's in here” “Don't matter— Do you got money?” “That's right.” Fuck the mall: Arguably the worst place, maybe. {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū.

Ugh, it's a fuckin riddle. *sad eyes* No fair. *super sad eyes* Super no fair *Super duper sad eyes* {Enter The Multiverse} YO! LETS GO TO TUBBY'S! YEEEAAAAAHHHHH! ITS TUBBY TUESDAYS!!! “TUBBY TUESDAYS?!” “Tubby Tuesdays” WELCOME TO TUBBY'S–I hope you're having a very Tubby day! We are now! Well, that's what I like to hear! Happy Tubby Tuesday everybody, right this way! All the tables are booths! …uh…okay. Before: What the fuck is Tubby Tuesdays? Oh, Tubby's? It's a desert buffet and adult video game arcade with an all-you-can-drink bar on tuesdays. Oh, well, that's… –and the world's first BBW-Only Afterhours Strip Club. Oh! –after sundown. Sundown?! Fraid so. TARTAR SAUCE! MORE TARTAR SAUCE! Why on EARTH would you eat tartar sauce on a waffle!? IT's a brioche waffle, okay–and the tartar sauce is candied bread pudding custard glaze-based. Oh! Gross! Its not gross! It goes dope on brioche waffles! I've got to get out of here. What!? It's not even sundown! Oh my actual gosh. I have to find that envelope before things get even– WHO'S READY FOR BRALESS HOT CHOCOLATE! *gasps* BUT IT'S NOT EVEN SUNDOWN! Check yo watch honey, because i do believe it's daylight savings time! Oh why yes, I do have the sudden urge to “spring” forward! I'm leaving!! That's okay! UGH! Hey wait– What. .[beat} Are you sure you don't want any hot chocolate? UGHHHH! It's braless! Yeah, a/he was under my Christmas tree with flashing lights on and everything. Man, you got Chris Kringled?! What! That's a thing! How does everybody know that's a thing but me? Was there presents? Yeah there was— wait how'd you know. Everybody knows about Chris Kringling, brother. I didn't! It's a web trend. What! On where? I have all the On WeMax! What is WeMax?! You don't know? I don't. A Bullet for my Valentine— I love myself. Man, I don't even know which mixtape that came out of. Right! Suddenly, When digging through the bullet in my brain, The finger in my skull Reminded me the pain I live with everyday And I Cannot put away This is my Suicidal thoughts My creeping Homicidal mind But I don't want to off you all I just want to end my time On earth So long A GUNSHOT rings throughout the tightly clenched red brick walls of somewhere in New York; it seems to echo forever as if the city itself were empty and cold, ricocheting off the sky with a ring into the air— the sound making a journey into space. Girl, you talk too much So go and level up Shut the fuhhhck up Not just the front door I'm not going on a shooting spree The only one I want is me The only one I shot is me The only one I got is me All of a sudden I feel really good, But also really bad— Like I'm high or something Just on the verge of uncontrollably crying And I know I'm definitely about to lose my shit But I'm off a little, and also on a little Like something just kicked in and I don't know what I haven't taken anything— Just fried potatoes in coconut oil, And I've been eating differently But getting through the stress with the comfort of simple products and the massive loads of work I've been sorting… I don't know. I feel horrible, but also like I just woke up—like if I sleep I'll be dreaming some place I ain't awake really because I'm aching… Achey at the thought of being up and left to ponder What is really up with my mind I'm longing— Thinking swiftly but also sickly of how I'm decaying, Same thing every day but it only gets a little longer; And although time itself is getting shorter, It still goes on, and I'm mourning everything I had to know, But now just seems forgotten Stolen Grace and getting awkward, And really just on the wrong show, A form of thoughts, impossible conglomerate And really only waiting for my greying thunderclouds to roll in Storms upon the wing of a swaying plane As if it may just falter, But all hope knows it really won't, And we'll all land safely. —Tom Hanks. Sometimes my life doesn't make any sense: Lil bitz Remember when you were a kid, And the mall was the greatest place you could think of going? That was the day— “Let's go to the mall!” Then you grow up broke, And I'm like “Holy shit— “the mall”? When was the last time I even went to “the mall”? Fuck that noise. The mall is where I'm not going. The only thing that's going on in that place is tAkiNG mY mOnEY. Fuck that noise. I ain't going to the mall. I don't need anything from these places. fuck the mall. The mall as a broke adult is arguably the WORST place you can go. “Ohh, what's in here” “Don't matter— Do you got money?” “That's right.” Fuck the mall: Arguably the worst place, maybe. {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū.

The Collective Complex Foundation Art Series Mixes 001. CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now blu Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel dissappeared— or sort of dissappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up. Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū. HOW THE FUCK DID WAYNE BRADY GET IN HERE! I dont know how Wayne Brady got in here! Keep an eye on him. I heard he's polyscientific in his sexual proclivities. Oh. Okay then.

CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now blu Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel dissappeared— or sort of dissappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up. Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. Lil Bitz They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} HOW THE FUCK DID WAYNE BRADY GET IN HERE! I dont know how Wayne Brady got in here! Keep an eye on him. I heard he's polyscientific in his sexual proclivities. Oh. Okay then. L E G E N D S CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now Blū Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel disappeared— or sort of disappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up! Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on: this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. {Enter The Multiverse} ICONS KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! …you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME? *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. Lil Bitz They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} Look at the pale ass people who can afford this place— I'm probably not even allowed there With much dishonor and bad distaste- You'd better stop coming around there If I spend my time out buying your price Mercy to the highest bidder You can call me anything you'd like But just don't call me a quitter If it's talk you want, I've got all the words For a stake, I'll buy you dinner In my house of hands, I've got all nine cards Hey Mary, your husband's a sinner I play all nine holes I lived all nine lives I spend all night In the The Panorama Room Smoke a parliament, parliament I just haven't the heart (The heart) To tell her You were part of it (Part of it) But I just sat down To write my love a letter When you know it's over (You know it's over) But you know you can't Forget her When you know it's over (You know it's over) But you also know That you just can't Forgive her And I just sat down And I just sat down And I just sat down To write my love a letter I write all my best lines In The Panorama Room And I'm back on prime time tonight But it's just lights out If I get back now I just might be up by noon But if I pass out In the town car I went that far As to turn back out For an hour, or a barback Oh wow, I — Look at the time Have a long night out I just lost my life At The Panorama Room It wasn't exactly the phantom But it just might have been Patrick And just like that, I need a back rub And a ballroom gown And an hour of heart talk But I just don't want all that, God I just gotta keep talking Outback from one But what's after all out? I'm no longer lost, I just wanna know How far till the next exit? When's wind a kite to fall back on? How many faxes till it makes sense? Cause it ain't been ten days yet, But I faked maybe seven or eight It is dangerous! A high stakes game, nothing makes sense Till just the end, then it hates to— Just rolls over, the next day raises And all you know is a tunnel And the smoke rising up from the long tail And really no hope goes there at all, But the words to a song And then they cut the lights off It is over; You don't know her, You can't love her— You can't move here, And there's no home sprung out of Hollywood; It was all a hoax, It was all just marxists, And now you really all are on your last dollar to spend, because in the end, truth is currency and we inTelevision really ain't in the business of truth in media; The honesty is honestly just as lost as you and I all are and yet— as proposed, We really are not as one, but so separate that it's possible, your stardust, and my horcruxes Are not that foreign to one another in terms of matter, but fall on us as gospels of one world to a whole other. You know that? It really has been a long drunk drive up the 101 in this classic car with the bucket seats and honest, I'm dying in the intertwined and reading these radio waves just as any old controller, but who knows really when it goes into the ocean, Seemingly out of control, But just turns back to shore, Such as a surfboard. — Seth Rogen. No, no dust— keep moving— It's just sandy beaches and trouble warring No, not now, keep off us— If trouble waves and shadows park this car, A storm is coming. And we were off to shore in the blue classic car, U-turned into her shore like a surfboard on the water. Don't ever do that again. I won't bother. You said “off road.” I didn't know that meant ocean. No, it doesn't go in the ocean. I spoke too soon. {Enter The Multiverse} Do you want me to die, Or bury your love like a secret ther I betray you, And portray you here in such a way as are kings and god, but of ruthless man, you are no honor or, or— worthy of such prize, as I, you ponder? Death seeks you and slowly surely is approaching and is as upon us the dog that barks and the wind that calls and the kiss that waits not as dusk but morning light, and do our calls upon us. And wait you then, these things I have here in my gate, and the knowing of the tide that does not moon, put sorrow? Like a lake it is thus ruined and by my time passed and even ye you, there hath it been not told, as told before the earth will shake with envy, and with pity, and with bore her such pride as slain thy son?! No! You do not any but gasp in these, my words as so you wore but tattered clothes as truths to these, no in mine wealth of heart and rich of soul, yet these bearing little truths have sown our end I wait Here slithers here the snake for singing crickets followed thy sound and thy voice to betray you; And thee I harp as though not to wait my tongue, my pride has pondered on this moment. O, I know and shall to thee my praying the honor of know not I that seek in weighing many days upon us; And though ye as many embark in flight and make my way and wonder where is but here the road to such a comet. Oh shit, he's asking about the other planet. Thank you. Yeah I— There's absolutely no chance in making it. It, by all standard and concept in the construct of time, is not possible. Your kind will be washed and diminished, and our time has come to again rule over our, to she whom you call “Earth”, not as our home, but as our daughter. You have known wise to honor her, our coming. Like omg what the fuck does this have to do with Jimmy Fallon. right. L E G E N D S: ICONS I guess it came through. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR EMMY. Uhh… Thanks? I uh— we didn't win yet. Not with that attitude. Huh. Look at that. I guess you're right! [beat] —but wait, who are you up against? [The Festival Project ™] This is intense. Yeah, I'll say it is… We gotta get to the other side of that portal. I don't think we should be making any— — we should go through the portal—! —plans very seriously— and honestly I'm thinking— Or maybe— you stay here, and I'll go through the portal, and you tell me if you can hear anything once I make it to the other side! I don't know if that…works. What? Why not dude? It'll be great— Cause I don't know anything about portals, and honestly— —I'm thinking— I just want to make it past the Emmy's so I can get laid again—like really laid— I've been… paying… for it. —you want to skip going through a portal so you can get laid? By a decent— and by decent I mean free— lady who just happens to be single and in attendance of the Emmy's or any of the after parties— yes, actually! Yes! No! We have to go through this portal to see what's actually on the other side! I don't have to do anything! No, you don't have to do anything— because I'm going through the portal, and you're just—staying and making sure you tell me if you can hear me! I don't think it's that easy actually! But you don't know until you try. I'm not trying. You're trying. And I'm letting you because you're pressuring me! Shut up. You're starting to sound like one of my interns. If I was one of your interns I would be quitting, and hash tagging you already. If you were one of my interns you wouldn't be paying for company. What's that supposed to mean? Just—- {Enter the multiverse} Stop. What if all whores are just bored workers And all escorts personal massagers— What if all message boards are mating calls And all honor rolls are leader boards, And all board rooms are horse drawn carriages For faraway battlefields, What if nothing I offer even comes close To the dollar value of your most cherished call girl And what if anything I know about her Doesn't conform to my idea of a comfort zone? What if the anxiety you're eyeing me and getting high behind me with is just designed to bind my mind enlightening the lightning strike dividing my entirety? What if I want to know you know my known worth without words or surfaces? What if all I don't know is all of my whole world, And just the dollop of a thought could push you off the wall to fall from the top of the Rockerfeller plaza into art upon the crosswalk? What if I could touch that cross, and walk with the palm of the sword stretched out like a… What were you saying? I don't know something about the handle of a sword turning into another object? What if I could hypothesis not one, but all the conundrums in one stroke of nonsense? Stop already? For what. I was told I could have been bought and sold Had I dressed the part To drive off in the pretty corvette But how dare I not Look just as hard earned As her for dollar signs Although Somebody bought her all of that? What if all you are is just bullets in the gun And a wound for my brain And a heart to heal Without home or a umbrella As the rain comes down so hard It sends whole homes floating? What if all the remarks in my smart ass couldn't call you up in the form of laughter? How about that one? How does your back ache? How was your hour glass. Much much Longer And Harder Than An hour. How I broke my spell? I just shook her hands. I just put my tail In between my legs And departure Marks the time of Our new travel archive But With just the dust of lust From dusk till dawn The one you wanted Climbs upon the forest In another song Or story What you— One, Two, Three dice— The riddle Four, five, Six mice, the honor Six, seven— Someone's disrespected; Lessons! Eight, nine— Oh my, Someone's right behind us. Nor can I stop writing or whining about my desires, and deadlines coming up and signing off, but I'm still crying. So I never sold my sole, And yet, The light from it was stolen; Slamming doors and hard earned apartments, Multipliers and real bad liars And one liners And one sells signed autographed autobiographies Now how about that for a rabbit hole, Seth Meyers? You should work harder on your crossovers Then again, the rule of thumb is to just Put them all on the old drum code And it's just no fun If it's not on suicide watch Don't bother I don't brother, But I learned to love her. You know? Silly little game, this inconsiderate confusion, wind washed galleyways and fisherman to put you under, Degrading you very awaking for the patrons, faking it— No things haven't made sense since you ate it With which way Is the birthday cake? Mistakes the Ace as Satan Lately, anything don't matter but that's a laugh Still no dollar though, no Don't call her out— she just wants courage And witness to slaughter Hers the very lamb of truth And mother's daughter. Put your art to work, This is not a war, it's a fairway And it and your worth, It's a fair game It ain't make sense Till you get 8-6 out a bar that you own Under A. An Alias, B. Under the Name of an Accomplice or otherwise trustworthy partner to which not you call love, but perhaps a co-owner. (Or co-author.) Remember the time now? A shit. I gotta run. Where to? I don't know yet. Grey suit. The whispers of a game Blue tie White stripes Red lips, One aim and he doesn't think twice One name and he doesn't give once Two trips to the hallway, One gun in the holster, One bullet in the chamber, And one number you thought of. Four? …yes. I've got a secret, a dirty little secret. The Rock and The Kite XI {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū.

The Collective Complex Foundation Art Series Mixes 001. CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now blu Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel dissappeared— or sort of dissappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up. Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū. HOW THE FUCK DID WAYNE BRADY GET IN HERE! I dont know how Wayne Brady got in here! Keep an eye on him. I heard he's polyscientific in his sexual proclivities. Oh. Okay then.

CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now blu Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel dissappeared— or sort of dissappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up. Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū. HOW THE FUCK DID WAYNE BRADY GET IN HERE! I dont know how Wayne Brady got in here! Keep an eye on him. I heard he's polyscientific in his sexual proclivities. Oh. Okay then.

The Collective Complex Foundation Art Series Mixes 001. CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now blu Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel dissappeared— or sort of dissappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up. Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū. HOW THE FUCK DID WAYNE BRADY GET IN HERE! I dont know how Wayne Brady got in here! Keep an eye on him. I heard he's polyscientific in his sexual proclivities. Oh. Okay then.

CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now blu Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel dissappeared— or sort of dissappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up. Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. Lil Bitz They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} HOW THE FUCK DID WAYNE BRADY GET IN HERE! I dont know how Wayne Brady got in here! Keep an eye on him. I heard he's polyscientific in his sexual proclivities. Oh. Okay then. L E G E N D S CARL COX curses BLŨ out in an extreme show of brilliantly vile COCKNEY FASHION. CARL COX [unintelligible cockney] BLŪ I have no idea what you just said, or why you're yelling at me! CARL COX (Sarcastically) Well how's this—? “Ello, poppet!” In THE DJ storyline )which is technically storyline a, we've just discovered DJ DILLON FRANCIS used BLU — (originally CC) as a sort of horcrux for his darkest magical intentions. Now the DJS are in a rush to extract this device before time runs out. Wtf did Dillon Francis do? YO HE LITERALLY MADE HER INTO A POPPIT. What the fuck is a poppit. It's like a little fuckin— thing— witches use to store magical energy and when the spell is over you're supposed to destroy them— but he DIDNT and it came to life and it merged with CC! Yooooooo! Who is now Blū Tha Gürū, because Chak Chel disappeared— or sort of disappeared— to aide in the magical assasination of Let me guess— No don't guess, you could ruin it. What. Don't literally ruin it. The show exists in a multiversial construct which means anything you say, or think, or guess could unintentionally alter the plot, and skew it into an array of infinitely possible dimensions! Oh no! But I already thought! Shh! No you didn't! Just replace those thoughts— with better ones z— I don't have any better thoughts! Well, make some up! Uh— ok! Shh, it's coming back on: this is where it gets intense. I thought you've never seen this before I know! But I know it gets intense! Well, how do you know that?! BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ALREADY. {Enter The Multiverse} ENTER THE MULTIVERSE is getting intense. BLŪ WHAT. NO ITS NOT! I can't take it I just can't take it I just can't take it no more I just can't n THE SKY IS FALLING! WHY?' I don't know. Seems pretty intense though, doesn't it. FUCK YOUUUUUU DEADMAU55555555! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!! I am DEADMAU— *powers down* Ah, fuck. {Enter The Multiverse} ICONS KATT WILLIAMS is coaching the NBC GAMES. KATT WILLIAMS Alright, b-ball time! Shirts! Versus skins! …you can be skins, Jimmy Fallon. *winks* Ew. She's so fucking gross. I don't get it. Uh— what? No I can't. I'm wearing a suit. I'm sure it's fused to my skin, or something. (This is actually the VICE AGENT version of the dude, who is wired head to toe. If he takes his shirt off, it will blow his cover.) SKINS. Fuck. L E G E N D S HE DUPED YOU! I BELIEVE THAT! He's good at everything! Especially things like that! WE'LL KILL HIM! NO ONE CAN KILL HIM. HE IS IMMORTAL. –doesn't mean we can't try. *dramatic music* [beat] WHAT?! I SAID– I CAN'T HEAR YOU, THERE'S A HELLICOPTER LEVITATING DIRECTLY OVER US! I KNOW! THAT'S WHY I WAS YELLING TOO, IT'S JUST– [Suddenly they realize, it is the he of who they speak hovering in the helicopter.] *GASP* DOn'T. {it's too late. He unloads a clip from an automatic rifle] THOSE ARE BANNED IN EUROPE. YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME! I KNOW I COULD HAVE! BECAUSE YOU ARE QUITE OBVIOUSLY EASILY FOOLED! ENOUGH. The helicopter scoops down and unrolls a ladder. W–wait! ARE YOU GETTING IN THE HELLICOPTER WITH HIM?! (dramatically) It appears so. WHAT. YES! YES I AM GETTING INTO THE HELLICOPTER. ARE YOU GONNA SHOOT AT ME? *confused* *shurgs* (he gives up) ..of course not. Well then, I believe it is YOU that has been duped. WHAT!??!? GOOD DAY, SIR. Lil Bitz They really nominated Stephen Colbert for an Emmy, and then fired him the next day. What on Earth. What did you do at the party, bro? Be honest! They literally we're like, Wednesday: You're nominated for an Emmy award! Thursday: You're cancelled! Cancelled, bro. How do you cancel the late show? That was David Letterman. The whole point of a show like that is so it goes on forever! Nope, cancelled! Daaaamn. You better win that Emmy now, bruh. {Enter The Multiverse} Look at the pale ass people who can afford this place— I'm probably not even allowed there With much dishonor and bad distaste- You'd better stop coming around there If I spend my time out buying your price Mercy to the highest bidder You can call me anything you'd like But just don't call me a quitter If it's talk you want, I've got all the words For a stake, I'll buy you dinner In my house of hands, I've got all nine cards Hey Mary, your husband's a sinner I play all nine holes I lived all nine lives I spend all night In the The Panorama Room Smoke a parliament, parliament I just haven't the heart (The heart) To tell her You were part of it (Part of it) But I just sat down To write my love a letter When you know it's over (You know it's over) But you know you can't Forget her When you know it's over (You know it's over) But you also know That you just can't Forgive her And I just sat down And I just sat down And I just sat down To write my love a letter I write all my best lines In The Panorama Room And I'm back on prime time tonight But it's just lights out If I get back now I just might be up by noon But if I pass out In the town car I went that far As to turn back out For an hour, or a barback Oh wow, I — Look at the time Have a long night out I just lost my life At The Panorama Room It wasn't exactly the phantom But it just might have been Patrick And just like that, I need a back rub And a ballroom gown And an hour of heart talk But I just don't want all that, God I just gotta keep talking Outback from one But what's after all out? I'm no longer lost, I just wanna know How far till the next exit? When's wind a kite to fall back on? How many faxes till it makes sense? Cause it ain't been ten days yet, But I faked maybe seven or eight It is dangerous! A high stakes game, nothing makes sense Till just the end, then it hates to— Just rolls over, the next day raises And all you know is a tunnel And the smoke rising up from the long tail And really no hope goes there at all, But the words to a song And then they cut the lights off It is over; You don't know her, You can't love her— You can't move here, And there's no home sprung out of Hollywood; It was all a hoax, It was all just marxists, And now you really all are on your last dollar to spend, because in the end, truth is currency and we inTelevision really ain't in the business of truth in media; The honesty is honestly just as lost as you and I all are and yet— as proposed, We really are not as one, but so separate that it's possible, your stardust, and my horcruxes Are not that foreign to one another in terms of matter, but fall on us as gospels of one world to a whole other. You know that? It really has been a long drunk drive up the 101 in this classic car with the bucket seats and honest, I'm dying in the intertwined and reading these radio waves just as any old controller, but who knows really when it goes into the ocean, Seemingly out of control, But just turns back to shore, Such as a surfboard. — Seth Rogen. No, no dust— keep moving— It's just sandy beaches and trouble warring No, not now, keep off us— If trouble waves and shadows park this car, A storm is coming. And we were off to shore in the blue classic car, U-turned into her shore like a surfboard on the water. Don't ever do that again. I won't bother. You said “off road.” I didn't know that meant ocean. No, it doesn't go in the ocean. I spoke too soon. {Enter The Multiverse} Do you want me to die, Or bury your love like a secret ther I betray you, And portray you here in such a way as are kings and god, but of ruthless man, you are no honor or, or— worthy of such prize, as I, you ponder? Death seeks you and slowly surely is approaching and is as upon us the dog that barks and the wind that calls and the kiss that waits not as dusk but morning light, and do our calls upon us. And wait you then, these things I have here in my gate, and the knowing of the tide that does not moon, put sorrow? Like a lake it is thus ruined and by my time passed and even ye you, there hath it been not told, as told before the earth will shake with envy, and with pity, and with bore her such pride as slain thy son?! No! You do not any but gasp in these, my words as so you wore but tattered clothes as truths to these, no in mine wealth of heart and rich of soul, yet these bearing little truths have sown our end I wait Here slithers here the snake for singing crickets followed thy sound and thy voice to betray you; And thee I harp as though not to wait my tongue, my pride has pondered on this moment. O, I know and shall to thee my praying the honor of know not I that seek in weighing many days upon us; And though ye as many embark in flight and make my way and wonder where is but here the road to such a comet. Oh shit, he's asking about the other planet. Thank you. Yeah I— There's absolutely no chance in making it. It, by all standard and concept in the construct of time, is not possible. Your kind will be washed and diminished, and our time has come to again rule over our, to she whom you call “Earth”, not as our home, but as our daughter. You have known wise to honor her, our coming. Like omg what the fuck does this have to do with Jimmy Fallon. right. L E G E N D S: ICONS I guess it came through. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR EMMY. Uhh… Thanks? I uh— we didn't win yet. Not with that attitude. Huh. Look at that. I guess you're right! [beat] —but wait, who are you up against? [The Festival Project ™] This is intense. Yeah, I'll say it is… We gotta get to the other side of that portal. I don't think we should be making any— — we should go through the portal—! —plans very seriously— and honestly I'm thinking— Or maybe— you stay here, and I'll go through the portal, and you tell me if you can hear anything once I make it to the other side! I don't know if that…works. What? Why not dude? It'll be great— Cause I don't know anything about portals, and honestly— —I'm thinking— I just want to make it past the Emmy's so I can get laid again—like really laid— I've been… paying… for it. —you want to skip going through a portal so you can get laid? By a decent— and by decent I mean free— lady who just happens to be single and in attendance of the Emmy's or any of the after parties— yes, actually! Yes! No! We have to go through this portal to see what's actually on the other side! I don't have to do anything! No, you don't have to do anything— because I'm going through the portal, and you're just—staying and making sure you tell me if you can hear me! I don't think it's that easy actually! But you don't know until you try. I'm not trying. You're trying. And I'm letting you because you're pressuring me! Shut up. You're starting to sound like one of my interns. If I was one of your interns I would be quitting, and hash tagging you already. If you were one of my interns you wouldn't be paying for company. What's that supposed to mean? Just—- {Enter the multiverse} Stop. What if all whores are just bored workers And all escorts personal massagers— What if all message boards are mating calls And all honor rolls are leader boards, And all board rooms are horse drawn carriages For faraway battlefields, What if nothing I offer even comes close To the dollar value of your most cherished call girl And what if anything I know about her Doesn't conform to my idea of a comfort zone? What if the anxiety you're eyeing me and getting high behind me with is just designed to bind my mind enlightening the lightning strike dividing my entirety? What if I want to know you know my known worth without words or surfaces? What if all I don't know is all of my whole world, And just the dollop of a thought could push you off the wall to fall from the top of the Rockerfeller plaza into art upon the crosswalk? What if I could touch that cross, and walk with the palm of the sword stretched out like a… What were you saying? I don't know something about the handle of a sword turning into another object? What if I could hypothesis not one, but all the conundrums in one stroke of nonsense? Stop already? For what. I was told I could have been bought and sold Had I dressed the part To drive off in the pretty corvette But how dare I not Look just as hard earned As her for dollar signs Although Somebody bought her all of that? What if all you are is just bullets in the gun And a wound for my brain And a heart to heal Without home or a umbrella As the rain comes down so hard It sends whole homes floating? What if all the remarks in my smart ass couldn't call you up in the form of laughter? How about that one? How does your back ache? How was your hour glass. Much much Longer And Harder Than An hour. How I broke my spell? I just shook her hands. I just put my tail In between my legs And departure Marks the time of Our new travel archive But With just the dust of lust From dusk till dawn The one you wanted Climbs upon the forest In another song Or story What you— One, Two, Three dice— The riddle Four, five, Six mice, the honor Six, seven— Someone's disrespected; Lessons! Eight, nine— Oh my, Someone's right behind us. Nor can I stop writing or whining about my desires, and deadlines coming up and signing off, but I'm still crying. So I never sold my sole, And yet, The light from it was stolen; Slamming doors and hard earned apartments, Multipliers and real bad liars And one liners And one sells signed autographed autobiographies Now how about that for a rabbit hole, Seth Meyers? You should work harder on your crossovers Then again, the rule of thumb is to just Put them all on the old drum code And it's just no fun If it's not on suicide watch Don't bother I don't brother, But I learned to love her. You know? Silly little game, this inconsiderate confusion, wind washed galleyways and fisherman to put you under, Degrading you very awaking for the patrons, faking it— No things haven't made sense since you ate it With which way Is the birthday cake? Mistakes the Ace as Satan Lately, anything don't matter but that's a laugh Still no dollar though, no Don't call her out— she just wants courage And witness to slaughter Hers the very lamb of truth And mother's daughter. Put your art to work, This is not a war, it's a fairway And it and your worth, It's a fair game It ain't make sense Till you get 8-6 out a bar that you own Under A. An Alias, B. Under the Name of an Accomplice or otherwise trustworthy partner to which not you call love, but perhaps a co-owner. (Or co-author.) Remember the time now? A shit. I gotta run. Where to? I don't know yet. Grey suit. The whispers of a game Blue tie White stripes Red lips, One aim and he doesn't think twice One name and he doesn't give once Two trips to the hallway, One gun in the holster, One bullet in the chamber, And one number you thought of. Four? …yes. I've got a secret, a dirty little secret. The Rock and The Kite XI {Enter The Multiverse} Copyright The Collective Complex © [The Festival Project, Inc. ™] © 2025 All Rights Reserved -Ū.

Today's podcast is dedicated to one of my favorite teammates, and the man who inspired this podcast, Mr. Reggie Moore. In this conversation, we talk about an age-old military phrase called lead, follow, or get the fuck out of the way. However, inside this podcast, we explore a deeper understanding of this concept and how we can practically apply it in our lives.

Lesley Logan celebrates historic and personal wins in this week's FYF episode. From Kelsie Whitmore making MLB history to a community win from Nancy Lawrence, and a pre-tour packing victory of her own, this episode is a reminder that progress doesn't have to be flashy to be worth celebrating. Take this as your reminder to celebrate yourself.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:How one woman landing an MLB spot flips the game forever.Why your wins spark a ripple effect that changes lives around you.How a packing hack turned into a total confidence booster on tour.Why believing in your magic is the ultimate mindset shift.Episode References/Links:Submit your wins - https://beitpod.com/questions@sportysteady on Kelsie Whitmore - https://beitpod.com/kelsiewhitmore If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/ Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday. Brad Crowell 0:03  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:04  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Lesley Logan 0:48  Hello, Be It babe. Welcome to the quick inspirational episode where it's just kind of fun. We're going to talk about something that inspired me on the internet. Hopefully get you talking. I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'm going to share wins of yours. You can send yours into the beitpod.com/questions yes, I know it says questions, whether you can put questions that you want us to answer on the Be It Pod or your wins, and that way we can celebrate your wins too, and then you get to hear them on a future episode. It's so fun. I just joined a membership group from another podcast that's a local podcast to us. And then when they said my name on the shout out, even they just said Lesley. All they said was Lesley, I was like, that's me. That was me. And like, it's just kind of nice to feel so seen, right? So we want to make you sure you feel seen. So beitpod.com/questions, to put your questions and or your wins, okay? So a win of mine and then we have a little affirmation, and then you're off to your weekend. Lesley Logan 1:32  Okay, so the thing that inspired me today, well, it actually inspired me obviously a little bit while ago, because it's happened already, but you're hearing it now. So get this. This is amazing. History made. The Oakland A's have officially called up pitcher/outfielder Kelsie Whitmore from the Oakland Ballers, making her the first woman everto join an MLB roster! From indie leagues to the big stage. This is a moment for the books. I don't even know. I didn't even look to see if she played. I'm gonna tell you this right now, because that's what society has told us. Like, okay, well, does she play? I don't give a I don't care she played. The fact that she is on a Oakland A's roster. To be like the first this is a May we have to celebrate this right? Like, I hope that they call her up. I hope she gets to play, and I hope people give her space and grace to make mistakes. Like these jerk offs who get to play all the time. Like, baseball kind of pisses me off, because you can have, like, the lowest batting average and still make millions of dollars. So like, you know, I don't care what her performance was, she's amazing. She's there. And like, may this mean that more women get pulled up onto the baseball field, because you know what, baseball, your games are really long. And even though I was raised on baseball, my grandfather was a professional baseball player. I just want to tell you, like, because defense can't score, we need to make things more interesting. I don't want you to gamify it. I want to see women and men being badasses on the field. That's what I want to see. All right. Anyways, from my lips to you know, MLBs here, right? I guess that's how it's going to go. Lesley Logan 2:57  Okay, so now let's do a win of yours, a win of yours. Okay, Nancy Lawrence, oh, my God, one of my favorite humans in the whole world. You guys have heard from her before, because she's been on our OPC members, but she's an eLevate. She's most important like she's also been a retreater with us in Cambodia. We are going to see her again this October. So my win this week, moving with this baby. So this baby means her daughter, Miranda, having my daughter go through eLevate five and learn so much from Lesley Logan's amazing experience. She's learning the exercises, cueing, and so much more. She's becoming the woman she is destined to be, and no longer a tired and frustrated corporate employee working for someone else. She is working on herself so one day she can work for herself. I mean, I think we should just celebrate Nancy another win in this. Another win that we're having here is that you working on yourself and you doing things that light your fire and that you doing things that make you feel so amazing has inspired her that she has this opportunity. And I that's one of the reasons why I love wins and why I want other people to hear people's wins. It's because it inspires other people in your life, this bubble of influence that we can have. So Miranda is winning because you are winning, Nancy, so thank you so much for celebrating wins with us. Lesley Logan 4:13  All right, a win of mine. Y'all this is my win. Okay, so here's the deal, Tami-Adrian, you guys know her from OPC, and she'll be on the Be It Pod, soon. She bought us this gift, which is like, a bunch of those, like packing kits. So it's like, the things that like space savers for packing, right? And it's like she gave us like, four or five of these things, and inside there's like four or five different types of bags that just like, help you save space. And I was like, oh, my God, I'm not an organized person. I have ADHD, so it means I make lists, but then don't use them, you know. But one of the things, we're about to go on tour, and one of the things that I struggle with on the tour, is that we, we quite have, it's cost hundreds of thousands of dollars to build these fans out, the ones you see a van life, at the van life, and they're like, look like so Instagram on glamping, they spend a fuck ton of money, okay, we are doing this ourselves, and yes, we're spending money, but, like, I don't have an extra 100k just to throw into my van. So we are building things out. We have an AC. We want to have shelves, obviously, in drawers for the clothes, but we don't have that quite yet. But what we do have are these packing things. And so what I'm so proud of my win is this. I have already taken those packs and I've put them in the in like outfits of like, okay, this is my workout outfits for this many days. Okay? This is my teaching outfits like this, this is my other things and the way, because we haven't the walls in the van yet, I can put these pouches in the holes of the van so that I don't have to go under the van to pull my suitcase out, which means it's gonna be even easier for me to do my workout every morning. I'm not gonna waste time and lose time trying to pull that out. I'll have my teaching workouts. They're already hung up. You probably have seen how I do that, so that's ready to go. And then I'll have my daily clothes. So I actually get dressed while on tour to go to dinner, because sometimes I'm just, like, shuffling in my pajamas. So I am just, this is my win is where, like, less than a week from tour, and my outfits, not just the ones I'm teaching in, but the ones no one will see, are organized thanks to these packages. And if, and if I never use them again, I will still call it a win. But I've, this is a freaking win. If you have ever, like, organized a drawer, I hope that you see this as you've did a win, you slay. If you organize a closet, you slay. Like, these are the wins that are happening all the time, right? They're happening all the time, and we're just like, nope, didn't get that million dollar deal. So with like, my life's failure. No, no, no. Good things are happening to you all the time. Lesley Logan 6:25  Okay, so let's go to your affirmation. It says you don't need to believe in magic. You are magic. You need to believe in yourself. That's your affirmation. So well, let's change how the words are. I don't need to believe in magic. I am magic. I need to believe in myself. I don't need to believe in magic. I am magic. I need to believe in myself. I hope that hits you in a good spot because it hits me in a good spot. I hope it hits you in a good spot because it hits me in a great spot, right. Like, I really, truly hope that this podcast doesn't just educate you and inform you what's going on. I hope it helps you see like you're doing a great job. I believe in you. I hope you do, too, after that and until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 7:11  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 7:52  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 7:58  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 8:03  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 8:09  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 8:13  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As a property manager, you know the value you provide to real estate investors. You offer peace of mind, safety and certainty, and expertise. What if every investor found a property manager to partner with before even contacting a realtor? On today's episode of the #DoorGrowShow, property management growth expert Jason Hull sits down with real estate investing author and coach Dustin Heiner to talk about building wealth through real estate investing and the role of property managers. You'll Learn [06:06] Dustin's Journey to Financial Independence [17:48] The Importance of Property Management in Real Investing [30:04] The Importance of Finding Clients You Want to Work With [41:42] Investing as A Property Management Business Owner Quotables “If you try to serve people, then your life is going to get better.” “If you don't have your business that could run itself, then you're going to be losing money.” “Your property manager is absolutely your quarterback.” Resources DoorGrow and Scale Mastermind DoorGrow Academy DoorGrow on YouTube DoorGrowClub DoorGrowLive Transcript Dustin Heiner (00:00) this is the number one thing that I teach all my students, the first thing they always say, Hey Dustin, I found a great city to invest in. I've already got five realtors sending me deals. said, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Let's say you bought one of those properties. Who's going to manage that? And they said, I don't know. I said come on. Like you, you're putting the cart way before the horse realtors are the last thing because you need to make sure that the   business is going to run perpetually without you. Cause the last thing you want is another job.   Jason Hull (00:26) All right, we are live. I am Jason Hull, the founder and CEO of DoorGrow, and we have the world's leading and most comprehensive coaching and consulting firm for long-term residential property management entrepreneurs. For over a decade and a half, we have brought innovative strategies and optimization to the property management industry. At DoorGrow, we have spoken to thousands of property management business owners, coached, consulted,   cleaned up hundreds of businesses, helping them add doors, improve pricing, increase profit, simplify operations, and build and replace teams. We are like bar rescue for property managers. In fact, we have cleaned up and rebranded over 300 businesses, and we run the leading property management mastermind with more video testimonials and reviews than any other coach or consultant in the industry. At DoorGrow we believe that good property managers can change the world and that property management is the ultimate   high trust gateway to real estate deals, relationships, and residual income. At DoorGrow, we are on a mission to transform property management business owners and their businesses. We want to transform the industry, eliminate the BS, build awareness, change perception, expand the market, and help the best property management entrepreneurs win. Now, let's get into the show. I'm hanging out today with Dustin Heiner who is successfully unemployed, according to his shirt.   it for those that can't see this later. So Dustin, welcome to the DoorGrow show.   Dustin Heiner (01:53) Jason, thank you so much for having me on the show. just love, I love property managers. I'm a real estate investor, bought property since 2006. Just, I don't know, I've got 30 plus properties, 750 apartment unit complexes and hotels I invest in. And I love not doing any work because my property managers are amazing. it takes a lot of time finding the right property managers, but in the end they make my life easier and I love paying them. They're only one of two people I love to pay, my accountant   and my property managers, because they make my life easier. I love that you have this show. I'm super pumped to be on, so thank you so much for having me.   Jason Hull (02:31) Awesome. I love the positivity because a lot of my clients get a lot of... How do we say it? Shit. Really. And you know, they feel unappreciated in a lot of... So I know there's a lot of listening. They're like, man, I want investors like this guy. But yeah, I love that you love paying property managers. I think I've said on one of my TikToks or reels, I said, the biggest mistake landlords make...   with rental properties is not hiring a property manager. And during this process.   Dustin Heiner (03:01) I don't want to deal   with tenants personally. I invested so that my property would work for me and I did not want to handle talking to tenants. In fact, I did at the beginning, I started talking to tenants, but I found out I'm a pushover because it's my property and I'm trying to be nice and everything like that. And it's so much better when there's a middle man that's going to be there. I tell my property managers, use me as the bad guy. Like say, this landlord, he's a jerk, but this is what we got to do.   I want to help them to make it easier on them, but in the end they make my life easier. yeah, I absolutely love that. Well, one thing you and I both know, property managers should be investing themselves too. They should be grabbing properties. if you know of a, if you're a property manager, you will eventually know somebody, an investor, who's going to be selling a house. Well, shoot. Instead of like, oh, point this over to investor, which I get lots of property managers sending me deals, say, hey, this guy's looking to sell. I'm like, great, and I'll buy it.   how much better would be if you guys bought   Jason Hull (04:00) Yeah, absolutely. I mean if you're a property manager you should really understand and know real estate investing like you're you're basically the advisor for your clients to do this and You have a pulse You know an understanding of the market that nobody else has and so leaning on a good property manager It can also be they could be an invaluable resource   of knowledge. if you before you get into a property one of the smartest things you could do is go ask the property managers is this a good investment or is this a good area or is this like is this a good idea and they're like no you should not have a short-term rental property out in the middle of the desert that nobody wants to go to like it's not you're not gonna cash flow but the you know the guru I'd listen to said I could you know yeah don't do that   Dustin Heiner (04:47) I've got, yeah, no, and you're 100 % right. So I personally, I've coached thousands of people to buy properties and I like buy and hold. Like it could be long-term, short-term, medium-term, even co-living, but we're gonna buy and hold these properties. Like we've got five kids. So I'll give these properties to my kids. I started investing back in 2006, just kept buying property after property. And then I realized when you get cashflow, when you get money coming in every single month from every single property, then you get financial independence and everything else on top of that is just gravy.   Jason Hull (04:47) Okay.   Dustin Heiner (05:15) And I consider my property manager, my quarterback of my team, like the football football team, they're going to make me money. They're going to protect me. They're going to make sure that everything is going right there. They're the, they're the quarterback of my team. And so when I find a good property manager, I hold onto them. In fact, I love find, well, here's what I do also. So in finding a good property manager, I do interviewing. I don't just grab first person because I personally feel like it's best to, you know, not everybody can work with everybody meaning   Somebody might not work well with me. I might have a bad personality of them. They're like, I don't like this guy. He's too hyper. He's got too much energy. Or they might say, hey, this is a great person to work with. And so what I love to do is when I grab a property manager and I just keep buying properties and keep giving it to the property manager, they keep doing well. But I mean, honestly, in the end, I wanted financial freedom and I knew that as I bought real estate over time, the value goes up. But the biggest thing is I invest for cash flow so that   Jason Hull (05:48) Bye.   Dustin Heiner (06:10) Money comes in every single month and give you case in point, your property managers are sending money. Like if you're a property manager, you're sending money to your investors, which is great because you're, making money, but you're also making them money. But at the same time, imagine that money coming into your pocket.   Jason Hull (06:27) Okay, I love this. think the clients listen to this or even property managers just listen to this and be like, I should probably send this out to all my clients so they should they can listen to this because this guy knows something and I want all my clients to see us in this light. This is a great light to see us in. So let's let's go back because we skipped qualifying you. Let tell us about yourself. Qualify yourself. Why should investors that   that these property managers send this podcast episode to and say, listen to this guy Dustin, you should be, you want to be like Dustin. Why should investors be listening to you?   Dustin Heiner (07:00) Absolutely, totally.   you know what, I'm even gonna tell you a quick story of what really shoved me into real estate investing. I started investing back in 2006, but I was not born with money. In fact, I was born into a very poor family, and I did what everybody is taught. We're taught this same exact path. You go to school, you get good grades. You take those good grades, and you go to college or university and get thousands and thousands of dollars into debt.   and then you get a piece of paper or a degree, that's what it's called, and you take that degree and you shop around and you try to find a job, a quote unquote career from someplace. And so I'm doing that exact same thing. In fact, Jason, I get the most stable, secure job you can ever think of. I got a job in the local county government in California doing IT. So California is not going away, government's not going away, and IT is definitely not going away, because I'm just like risk averse. Well, at the same time, I bought one rental property.   And that one rental property, I remember that check I got from the property manager. It was $317. Like, this is great. I need to buy more and more properties. But you know what happens? Life started getting in the way. My wife and I started having kids, after kid. Eventually, and this is what really got me to make sure I started investing. So I stopped because life got in the way, buying properties. But my wife and I started having kids. And when my wife had our fourth child, I went on paternity leave. That's where the dad stays home with the mom, changes poopy diapers, all that good stuff.   Well, after two weeks, I go back to work and on a Friday at 3.30 in the afternoon, I get a call from my boss's boss's boss's secretary, like the top dog. she says, Dustin, would you please come in the office? I said, sure. And I paused for a second. I hung up the phone. thought, why in the world are they calling me in the office? Like, this isn't normal. It's not normal. And I've also seen plenty of movies Friday at 3.30 is not a good sign. And I remembered a little bit before, right before I went on paternity leave.   Jason Hull (08:48) now.   Dustin Heiner (08:51) There was some rumors or some rumbly going on in the county that there could potentially be layoffs. And he really shook it off. said, there's no way I've got great seniority here. My boss is thinking of doing a great job. So I get up and I walked down the hallway to my boss's office. Now this hallway isn't very long. In fact, it's kind of short, but every single step that it took, felt like the hallway got longer and longer and longer. And it felt like my feet became lead bricks because as I was walking, I started thinking I could potentially get laid off while I get down the hallway.   Jason Hull (09:01) Amen.   huh.   Dustin Heiner (09:20) I turn the corner and I see my boss's door. His door is closed and I see his secretary there, super sweet, nice old lady. She says, Dustin, would you please have a seat? And I go and I take my seat and she's kind of sheepishly grinning at me, trying to console me with her eyes, because she knows everything about what's going on. I know nothing about what's going on. So I take my seat and I started thinking about my life. This entire plan that other people told me, I started thinking, if I lose my job, did I just waste my life doing this? And my goodness, we just had our fourth child.   Jason Hull (09:38) man.   Dustin Heiner (09:50) If I can't provide for our kids, does that make me a failure as a father? Does that make me a failure as a husband, as a man trying to provide for his family? Well, as I'm sitting there, my hands get all clammy, my forehead gets all sweaty because the nerves are just crushing me. Well, the door to my boss's office opens up and out walks a coworker of mine with a piece of paper in her hands. She is noticeably distraught, very upset. She's not necessarily crying, but you could tell her world has been rocked. She passes by me and my boss says, Dustin, would you please come in the office?   Jason Hull (09:54) Hmm.   Dustin Heiner (10:19) So I get up and I go into his office and I get laid off. And this is the government. Nobody gets fired or laid off from the government, but I did. And this is the reason why I tell the story. So I take that layoff notice and I go back to my desk and I realized two things sitting there at my desk, just getting laid off. Number one, I need to get another job to be able to provide for my family. So really blessed, praise the Lord to find another job in the same county, another department wasn't having those issues. Second thing I realized, I need to make sure this never.   Jason Hull (10:24) Hmm.   Dustin Heiner (10:48) ever happens to me again. I didn't make sure that nobody can take away my ability to feed my family. So right then and there, I said, I am an investor. It may so happen that 100 % of my money came from my job. That's now my part-time job. I'm a full-time investor. So quickly fast forward the story. Started buying property after property after property, each one making me 250, 350, $550 a month. I still own all of them. And now fast forward, I go to my new boss after 30 plus properties. say, Hey boss,   Jason Hull (10:57) No.   Dustin Heiner (11:17) I'm laying you off. laugh and it says Dustin, what are you gonna do? I said, I don't have to do anything. I own real estate that makes me money without even working. So last quick part of the story. Remember that short hallway that got longer and longer and longer? Well, I would walk to and from my car to my job a mile and a half every day. I was too frugal to pay for parking. Well, this last walk, I felt like I was walking on clouds because I knew I would never need a job again because I had money coming in from my property. So for you listening,   I want you to realize if you have your own business, if you're working for somebody else, if you have real estate that makes you money without even working grows over time. In fact, every 15 years, real estate doubles in value. mean, that alone is just should blow your mind. And then the cash flow that it makes. So in the end, what I suggest is if you make your own value coming from what you put into your own investments, IE rental properties, you're actually going to have   a floor of income. Now, just same thing with a property manager. You get your landlords and let's say you have 100 units. Well, you have a floor of income because that's normal income that comes in. Same thing with real estate investing. Let's say, God forbid, all those landlords to say this is not working out, we're moving. Well, you have your properties that has a floor of income coming in for you and then it takes so much stress off of you. So I'll pause the story because you've probably got plenty of questions, Jason.   Jason Hull (12:43) I love it. what a journey. there's always something that of thrusts us into a new state or even into entrepreneurism. I was suddenly a single dad trying to figure out how do I have time to spend with my kids when I'm stuck at a job at HP because I was in IT.   I'm like, I haven't even earned a week off yet. And I'm gonna get them for a week to spend time with them? How's that gonna work? How do I get to be dad? so, yeah, so sometimes I joke my kids are what made me finally leap to become an entrepreneur. so.   I love this idea of real estate allowing you to fire your boss or fire yourself from the job. Explain to people now what you do and your programs and all the stuff that you've built since, because you've done a lot of big things. I want people to make sure they understand Dustin's a badass and he knows a few things.   Dustin Heiner (13:36) Yeah.   Thanks, man. Well, here's what really   happened. So as I was quitting my job 2014 2015 inch I was 37 years old and I had so many people asking me how I was not working for somebody else and still making money if I feed my family I told them I invest in real estate and they would always ask the second question. Well, can you show me and so I just started showing friends and family members how to do it and then I realized two things number one was fun and number two I had plenty of free time because when you're not working for somebody else   When you're not having like, if you're a property manager, you have many bosses. Let's say you have 10 different landlords, working with 10 different bosses. That's really what it comes down to. And if you don't have any bosses bossing you around, you have 40 plus or more hours of your life back to do whatever you want. And so I just started helping people. So fast forward, I started a podcast, the master passive income podcast, you were on it. And that podcast in 2015, over 2 million downloads now with me just coaching. It's usually a solo show, like literally a solo show where I don't even   It's just me teaching how to do this, but over 2 million downloads because I just want to give this out. Then wrote three, no, four books, coach thousands of people. Now even have a live event, bring in hundreds of real estate investors together, but all for a goal. Here's the main goal. It's to help 1 million people to invest in real estate. And the big reason why I decided to have this goal was because the more people that I serve in my life, the more money they make and the more money I make in the end.   And so now everything from coaching thousands of people to having live events where we're just coaching even more and helping even more to books and podcasts, YouTube, you name it, like social media, Instagram, I'm over a hundred, 200,000, almost 200,000 followers on it now, just giving. And here's the big thing, a takeaway that I would love to share with everybody listening. For you listening, you need to realize if you serve and if you try to serve people, then your life is going to get better. The more people that I serve,   My goodness, I make so much more money, but the great thing is it's not a win-lose. It's not like somebody loses in order for me to win. No, it should be a win-win-win. And so now everything I do at Master Passive Income, to the free courses, to the paid coaching, all that sort of stuff, it's to help people to invest in real estate to get 40 plus hours of their life back and become successfully unemployed.   Jason Hull (15:59) It's amazing. And that's just really, really awesome. You're doing big things. You're doing big things. And you're not the typical property management client. How many different property managers do you have? Because your portfolio is spread out now, or is it all in your network? Five different states.   Dustin Heiner (16:14) Five different states? Yeah, correct. Five different states.   I think we have five main property managers. ⁓ Yeah, five main property managers that I work with.   Jason Hull (16:20) Yeah.   And how many units in total do you?   Dustin Heiner (16:26) So   single family home, like I might say single family, four units and below. So I would consider anything four units and below be residential. We have 33, 32, 30 plus single family homes, short term, midterm and even long term. Then we have two large apartment complexes, one's near Nashville, 350 units and other one's in Chattanooga, Tennessee, 325 units. And so we have great property managers for those properties. Then also,   I've invested in some hotels and so we have the, you know, the management company for that. But, what I found, and this is the number one thing that I teach all my students, all my students, lots of them, because here's what the first thing they always say, Hey Dustin, I found a great city to invest in. I've already got five realtors sending me deals. said, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Let's say you bought one of those properties. Who's going to manage that? And they said, I don't know. I said come on. Like you, you're putting the cart way before the horse realtors are the last thing because you need to make sure that the   business is going to run perpetually without you. Cause the last thing you want is another job. In fact, this is the one big thing that I see when a mom and pop investor, somebody buys one property and then they buy a second or third, maybe they get to five, six, maybe seven or eight and they're managing it themselves and they cannot scale. And I know your audience, everybody knows about scaling cause you want to scale your business, the property management business. Well, you can't scale if you're the only person doing all this sort of stuff. And so,   Here's another question I get that people, other investors or even my students say, Dustin, how do you afford a property manager in your properties? I say, I don't afford a property manager. Like I don't pay my taxes on any of my properties. I don't pay my insurance. I don't pay for my property manager. I don't pay for repairs. Meaning I don't have to get a job to pay for any of that. My tenants pay that in the form of rents. And then I make sure I do not buy a property.   unless all of those expenses are accounted for even repairs, vacancy factor, and especially property manager. And that's the thing that most people don't do is realize, let's account for all those expenses, but then utilizing your property manager well enough. Here's the big question. And so all your audience is property managers. So they're going to, they probably rarely get this question, but here's my favorite question that I ever asked property managers. One of the first ones that said, if you would invest your money in this city now,   Jason Hull (18:37) Mmm.   Dustin Heiner (18:48) What area would it be? What zip code, where would it be? That is gold. I've asked actually the opposite question. Where should I not invest that city? And property managers say, I probably shouldn't answer that because discrimination and all that sort of stuff. so the question is better. Where would you invest your money? And then, yeah, you're gonna understand the entire market because the property manager, but you also Jason, we're awesome. The question is,   Jason Hull (18:51) Mm-hmm.   Yeah, wherever you...   Dustin Heiner (19:12) Would you manage this property not after you bought the property, but before you buy the property? That's a big thing. Cause a lot of people buy a house because they listen to tick-tock gurus and they just bought a house and they, Oh yeah, it should work out. Well, if you don't have any of the manage it, it's no longer an asset. It's a liability. So how much better is you ask the property manager beforehand, especially if you are investing, you're seeing, or sorry, if you're a property manager, you're seeing where the best properties are, where the best clients are, the best tenants, all that sort of stuff.   Jason Hull (19:19) Yeah.   Yeah, sometimes 100, 1000 times over. Like they have a lot of anecdotal data, right? And data data. So the bad path then is you kind of mentioned is to go to a realtor first, get a property, and then maybe go find a property manager. That's a really bad path. And that's kind of the default path that a lot of people would go down. And they're just headed towards a potential train wreck. Odds are   that the realtors incentive is not to just get you into the best investment solution. You get the most money on a deal and then you're going to you're picking this property and you have no idea if it's going to work out and then you might not even realize you need a property manager and you're saying start with the property manager. Ask them the area.   Dustin Heiner (20:16) No, it's to sell a property. That's all it is.   Absolutely.   Jason Hull (20:34) get their advice and clarity and find the property manager that you would want to be able to manage this. Like find a good property manager first and then make some good decisions. make some, let them help you make some good decisions.   Dustin Heiner (20:48) Well,   how I would explain it is I'm going to find the experts and it could be also definitely property management, but think of also inspectors, mortgage brokers, contractors, plumbers, handymen, insurance agents. I'm not the expert. In fact, like I said, I've coached thousands of people now to invest in real estate successfully. And sometimes they'll ask me, hey, Dustin, you invest in this city.   You're the expert. Tell me like, where should I? Tell me all this stuff. said, Whoa, I'm not the expert at all. In fact, I don't want to, I might know a little bit, but I don't want to be the expert. I hire experts. I hire them. So if you're a property manager, what you need to be thinking is, well, number one, you are the expert in that area because you're currently investing your time in your business to build up for landlords to utilize you. Well, that's number one, but who else would you actually want to start working with?   Now, personally, what I find is the property manager. so if you're not a property manager, if you're an investor listening to this, your property manager is absolutely your quarterback. I treat them as best as I can. Like I treat them so well because they take care of me and they want to take care of me. If I'm a jerk, if I'm like, you know, withholding, withholding money or like, we don't need those repairs. And they're trying to do their job and I'm holding them back from it. They're not.   excited about working with me. And so what I want is as best I can, my property manager to look favorable on me so they could take care of my property so I can have all my life back to play with my kids.   Jason Hull (22:15) Yeah, I mean this very much goes along with like Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan's idea of who not how. Like finding the right who instead of going around and trying to just find the what like a property. Go find the who that can help you figure out how to do this instead of trying to figure out how to do everything on your own. Which is the slowest path to growth. Period. You know, is to do everything on your own.   Dustin Heiner (22:39) Well, you can't scale that way.   Yeah, you can't scale. If it's all about yourself, you can't scale. can't get like all my 30 plus properties. I love saying this. So a lot of people have heard of the book, the four hour work week. Good book and all. Basically, the premise is make your life so that you only have to work four hours a week. Well, honestly, I think working four hours a week is for suckers. I don't want to work four hours a week. I don't even want to work four hours a month. I maybe work 30 minutes a month on all of my properties because they get the property management statements.   I verify everything that's good, but I'll say this also. My daughter who's 16 years old, because I've coached a thousand people now, I coached her, she's my oldest and all my other kids are going to do it. She bought her first property four months ago and I coached her. She now does all the bookkeeping, all the, basically instead of me doing the work, 30 minutes, I pay her to do it and she oversees her property as well. And it is so much better when you have the experts first. One quick last thing, because you mentioned a really key, most people, and I did this too.   Jason Hull (23:32) if   Dustin Heiner (23:36) I wouldn't write to how do we find properties? In fact, my most downloaded podcasts are because on Master Passive Income, have lots of like how to find properties, how to fund properties, how to find property management. Like literally, it's just coaching. And the most downloaded are how to find and how to fund. Those are by far because people think those are the that's number one things that they don't have, but they believe that they need, which is not necessarily the case. Same thing on my YouTube channel. The most downloaded videos I have one.   That's like think like 16 different ways to get creative financing. If you don't have money yourself, how to buy properties with creative financing. I'm the most downloaded, but that's here's here's what I definitely got to say this. If you don't have your business that could run itself, because I always talk about building your business first. If you don't have your business that could run itself, then you're going to be losing money. And they give you a quick example what that looks like. I buy a property that's going to be making me money every single month and I don't buy it unless all expenses.   Jason Hull (24:11) Yeah.   Dustin Heiner (24:34) property manager included, vacancy factor, repairs, all included. And I add on my profit. If I want to make $400 a month, I don't buy a house unless the price is low enough, interest rates right, all the expenses are right to where I'm making that profit every single month on that property. And then obviously rents go up. But here's what it's like if you do not build a business, you do not get the right people in place. Imagine a convenience store. You're to start a convenience store, know, candy bars and soda machines and all that sort of stuff. Well, you will not sign a lease on a location.   open the doors and set a box of candy bars in on the ground. You wouldn't do that. You go out of business in two seconds. But what you would do is you would get, you'd build the business first. You get the gondolas, the shelving units, and all the candy bars go on the countertops, cold storage, bank accounts, cash registers, insurance, managers, everything in the business before you buy any inventory. Same thing with real estate investing. You build the entire business, get everybody the right people in the business, and then every property that I own,   is a piece of inventory that I put into my business. When you start realizing that even though you're an investor, you are a business owner that has inventory. Because I remember in 2006 when I first started investing, 2008 happened. 2008 happened and the crash happened. I knew so many real estate investors went bankrupt. fact, still talk, if anybody was investing back then, most likely you ask them, how did you do in 2008? I went bankrupt.   Jason Hull (25:44) Thanks.   out   Dustin Heiner (25:57) Honestly, that's literally, that's conversation happen all the time. But for me, I made more money. I was blown away. In fact, I was worried because I was just new to this. And because I was solely investing for cashflow. Now appreciation will come. That's great. But I'm going to give these properties to my kids. But I was solely investing for cashflow, $500 a month, $600 a month. And because of that, sadly, people, they had to get foreclosure because of the economy and all that sort of stuff.   but what did to the pool of renters, the pool went up. So there's more demand, supply's the same. In fact, I just buy properties and there's more renters. So my rents went up. I made more money in the crash when everybody else was going bankrupt because I was solely investing for cashflow. One quick, let me say one more thing, because I definitely want you to jump in. One more quick thing. Imagine that candy bar that you would buy to sell. If you had a candy bar business,   If you can buy it for 50 cents and sell it for a dollar and you knew all day every day, you can buy it for 50 cents, sell it for a dollar. You think, how can I get more money? Well, you'll make money. But let's say this is a great thing about real estate investing. Let's say you didn't even have 50 cents. It took you 25 cents to borrow 50. Well, you're out of pocket 75 cents. You still sell it for a dollar and you make 25 cents every single time. You would do that deal every day and you would think, how can I get more money? You'd borrow it. But here's one thing you would not do. Same thing with real estate investing.   You would not buy a candy bar for $2 if you could only sell it for a dollar. You do not do business to lose money. So I'll pause it because you could probably have plenty of questions, but we want to build a business and make money.   Jason Hull (27:26) Perfect.   No, love your analogies. I love that you're equating it to like even just buying and selling candy bars, which maybe some of us did in elementary school as a side hustle, or our kids do sometimes. My daughter makes little rubber bands, like little bracelets with different colors, and she goes and sells them. And the materials cost very little. And then she's like building these bracelets and ask them what colors they want. And then she's selling them at a market. She's like, I made like 20 bucks, you know.   Dustin Heiner (27:48) yeah.   Jason Hull (28:00) Yeah, so, you know, we've done this as kids, but when you equate it to something so simple, because we look at raw real estate and the complexity and all the numbers and we're like, this might make sense in the long run with some depreciation and then like, yeah, and you're like, let's keep this really simple. Let's like equate it to a candy bar.   Dustin Heiner (28:21) Because all that will come   like appreciation, depreciation, tax benefits, market appreciation over time, forced appreciation. Like when you buy a house, you fix it up, you guys know it'll make more money or it'll be worth more. All that will come, but income does not always come. So if you buy for income every single month from your property, could be long term, midterm, know, 30, 69 days, short term, or even co-living. If you buy for that, you will always get wealth.   If you buy, I'm hoping it'll go up in value. Like I hope this candy bar, I'll buy it for $2. Hopefully from a dollar now it'll be a $3. If you hope you're going to be stuck holding the bag and it's going to hurt. And so what you want to do is you want to make sure that you are investing for income. Cause when you invest for income, everything else will always come. But if you invest for just appreciation, you will not necessarily get income. You won't necessarily get all the benefits of everything that comes with real estate.   Jason Hull (29:17) Yeah, the other thing is the property managers often are one of the first to know if an existing client or owner wants to sell that property off. So they're great people to know if you want access to off market deals. I'm sure the property managers you have would love to get all of their clients to sell their properties and give them to you because you're easy. You're like their dream client because they'll have a one off like super emotional accidental investor that couldn't sell the property that's like.   driving them nuts and like they want it to be a perfect time capsule for a year because grandma planted the flower bed and like Timmy has his height in the door frame and like they want it to be perfect so they can sell it a year later and they're like, and it's like 10 times to 100 times harder to deal with operationally for them. The operational costs are really extreme. It doesn't sound like you're calling your property managers all the time.   Dustin Heiner (29:53) Ha ha!   Let me just say this. I don't want to talk to my property managers like month after month after month. I don't want, I just want the money. And as long as everything's going well, which is here's another thing. So if you're an investor, you want to make sure that your property managers understand your systems and procedures and processes. Like I have different property managers. They all treat all their landlords, everybody differently. But I say, when you're working with my properties, here's exactly how I want you to do it. And it's very simple things like   Jason Hull (30:13) Fuck it.   Dustin Heiner (30:37) Hey, rent's due on the first, late after the third, then you put a three day notice on the door if they don't need to get a late fee. And then once that three day notice is up, you start the eviction process. Like that's clockwork. It's most non-discriminate, yes.   Jason Hull (30:47) And this is pretty typical.   This is pretty typical, like decent property managers are already doing this anyway. Like this is really standard stuff.   Dustin Heiner (30:55) They should be. But I don't want to talk to the property manager. They're great people. I don't hire them unless   I like them. But at the same time, leave me alone so I can play with my kids. I could go to golf. could go to, I'm going to South Africa tomorrow for an investor trip. You know, I just want to live my life. Property manager, you take care of it. And if they are doing what I honestly like, I, they don't do well, meaning if they, if there's, it's not getting rented or there's that's a month after month where we're not getting,   rents paid, if things like that, then I'm like, I gotta find somebody else. Cause I don't want to have to think about it. If I have to think about the property, then why do I need you?   Jason Hull (31:29) Yeah, this is a challenge. They're property managers listening right now. Pay attention to this. Because a lot of property management business owners that come to us, they're not setting healthy boundaries with their clients. Because their clients don't know what they need. And so a lot of times the clients will artificially create a worse property manager. Because they're like, I need like this and I need that. I want, how's the renting process going? And did you talk to some people? Did you show it? And like what they think.   and they want to be so involved in the whole process, they're trying to micromanage the manager. And the manager's way better at this than them. By their own admission, they suck at this stuff, and they don't like it. But then they're trying to micromanage the manager, and bad property managers let them do it. Like the worst property managers usually have the highest operational costs in their business because they give every tenant and every owner a blank check for their time.   call me anytime and they phone system stuff so you can call them anytime and ask any question and they don't have a good system and so then they're wondering why they have, I had a client company once with 600 units under management in their business and they were making zero dollars. Property management can easily be death by a thousand cuts. I have seen inside thousands of property management companies and there are a lot that are making very little money.   And then like my wife Sarah, she had a property management business with 260 units. She was pulling in 90, 60 to 90 % profit margin. It took her, it was a part-time job for her really. And she moved to Austin with me and she managed these remotely. And these were C-class properties in Pennsylvania. We're talking $1,000 rent or less. This is like ghetto, like difficult tenants, difficult situations. And she had such strong boundaries.   and such good relationships with their owners in setting those boundaries that if they got needy or whatever, she would tell them that she was gonna fire them. And they were desperate to keep her because most property managers suck because of some of these reasons. And so she set really strong boundaries. And so her business was easy. She eventually installed one part-time person boots on the ground to help her open up property, show property, whatever, because she couldn't be there to do that and to pick up the mail.   and she had 60 to 90 % profit margin. It's like ridiculous. And so this is one of the trainings we have in our platform that we coach clients on, but property management could be death by a thousand cuts very easily. so it's just as important as it is for you to find a good manager to partner with, for them to find good clients to partner with and to be picky about their clients.   or to at least set better boundaries and expectations with their clients to help them be more like you.   Dustin Heiner (34:16) Absolutely. And it has to be a beneficial event where you guys are working together, a relationship. And like I said in the very beginning, I try to serve as many people as possible. The more people I serve in this life, the better my life gets, better their life gets. And as long as it's a win-win, in fact, one of my property managers, I paid him 12 % of the rent. the rent used to be, yeah, like when I, so this is when I first started investing in, it was in Ohio in 2006.   prices of rent were like 500 bucks. from 10, 10 % to 12%, it was like, you know, five bucks. And I was like, yes, go ahead. Now these are renting for a thousand dollars, but it's a hard area. It's like D plus C minus. I mean, it's a really rough area. In fact, I don't suggest any of my students invest there anymore because it's really, really rough. It's hard to find, like this property manager, I found them diamond in the rough, they worked with them for 10 years and then he retired and his daughter took over. So she's doing great too, but   All that to say, what you need to do is as you're hiring, finding the right property manager. So if you're an investor and you were trying to find a right property manager, you really need to make sure that you're paying them accordingly. That's going to be like, like I said, 10 % to 12%. Exactly. Exactly. Like they're going to make my life easier. What I need to do as an investor, if I need to pay more for a property manager, I need to buy the property for less.   Jason Hull (35:26) Yeah, don't try to cheat out on them. Yeah.   Dustin Heiner (35:38) I don't buy the property unless it pays for that good property manager. If I have to pay 15 % for good property manager, I don't buy the house unless I can afford that 15%. And in the end, my property manager in that one specific area, that's like C or D, D plus to C minus, I don't talk to her because she's so fantastic and she just doesn't bother me. I just let her run with it she does such a great job. And so it's such a great beneficial environment.   Jason Hull (36:03) Yeah, love it. I'm biased, but obviously, but I believe DoorGrow creates the best property managers because we help them figure some of these really simple things that they need to get down in. Sometimes they can't even see. Like one of the things we've been rolling out with clients is a three tier hybrid model because different investors have different strategies. There's really three psychological profiles of buyers that are taught in pricing psychology and those are the cheapos, the normals, and the premiums.   And so you need a pricing model that is a better fit for them. And the cheapos usually are really hyper concerned about price. They're not really focused on the long term as much. They're short-sighted. And so they're looking at what's the lowest fee I could get and they're like, cheaping out and they're making some big mistakes in the long run.   Dustin Heiner (36:46) Let me add, let   me add one thing with the cheapos. The cheapos will be the worst clientele. They will be the most problematic. It's just how life is. In fact, I'll give you.   Jason Hull (36:53) Next.   Operational cost   is the highest with the cheapos and so So one of the things that we coach our clients on is to make sure that they have these pricing models that balance between The a la carte of a cheapo and like you're gonna pay for everything extra so that they because then you're they're trying to gamble against the house Property managers the house and the property management should be winning right but a lot of times what property managers mistakenly do   Dustin Heiner (37:00) Absolutely.   Jason Hull (37:25) is they subsidize all of their lowest rent properties and their worst owners with their highest rent properties and their best owners. And they have properties in their portfolio they're actually losing money on. And sometimes they don't even realize this because they're not assessing them individually. We're like, yeah, you should fire those. Like you should just let them go or raise the price. It seems that is so obvious, but.   Dustin Heiner (37:45) especially if you're losing money on it.   Jason Hull (37:50) A lot of property managers have an entire section of their portfolio that's like 80, it's like the 80-20 rule. It's 80 % of their stress and their work and their challenges and it's like 20 % of their profits.   Dustin Heiner (38:02) And so here's a fun thing, like a thought, as you were saying, this had gotten to mind if and when somebody is pulling their hair out, an investor pulling their hat over a property or multiple properties, they just, they're just going to sell and because they're not good at investing. In fact, that's what I love to do is I coach people how to be good investors, how to make sure we're buying it right, how we're finding the right people, all that sort of stuff. Well, what's great is let's say they, you're, you fire them as clients, you fire them.   And they're like, I pull my hair out. I'm just going to sell. then eventually a good landlord will buy it. Good investor will buy it and they'll start working with you. So you start cutting out the 80 % that is just wasting your time and money and keep going after the 20 % that are making the money, making your life easier. That's just going to help everybody. Like it's just going to keep rising because in the end, the bad landlords there, they should just not be owning property.   Jason Hull (38:55) Yeah, I've had some interesting guests on our show recently and one of them runs a company. Basically, he explained to me that investors outside of the US love the US for real estate investing because he said almost nowhere else in the world can you get a 30 year fixed rate mortgage that allows you to do a payment that's low enough you could cash flow on it and just start making money right away, month after month.   And so they want to be able to get access to this. And so they help them set this up quickly. Get an EIN in a week and like get everything set up. Because it's complicated for them to figure that out. There's another company. I had a gentleman named Lioran. Really cool guy. Originally from Israel. He's here in the US, investor. And he created a company called Blanket. There's this really amazing platform for property managers that they can white label and that they use that allows them   It's like kind of like a property retention platform. So it allows them to put their clients portfolios into it, get a ton of extra data on their portfolios, and then they can, if they decide they want to sell this property, allows all the other investors in the entire blanket network to be able to get this and they get to keep managing that property without having to give it up. So property managers can have the properties   turn over and go to different owners and different investors, but they still retain them as that property is in their portfolio to manage. And so there's just, there's some really amazing things out there now for property managers. There's amazing tools, systems. We've got a lot of clients getting AI maintenance coordination using some really cool AI maintenance coordination tools that's allowing, cause getting a maintenance coordinator in a property management business, hard.   Ideally, it's like they're a veteran of doing maintenance of like 20 years and they don't want to run their own maintenance company and they want to come help you figure out what needs to be done. But there's an AI maintenance coordinator company that has been programmed by a guy who managed 30,000 units coordinating maintenance, all the way from small all the way up to that.   a long lengthy amount of experience and the system has programmed into it probably by now over a half a million work orders. Like and so it knows how to handle this better than probably anybody that you could hire and once you tell it you still have to train it you have to teach it but once you tell it how to handle things it can do it. And it's now doing phone calls it's like doing emails it's doing text like it's the craziest thing ever. And so there's this this there's this weird sort of   AI revolution happening right now and the smartest property managers are already adopting some of these tools because it allows them to scale their operations effectively. Eventually it'll be so commonplace everybody's like yeah we're all using this stuff and we can all like it's cheap enough or whatever and who knows maybe we'll all be out of jobs including property managers who knows but right now there's a good opportunity that if property managers are on the bleeding edge of what's working   you get as an investor a better property manager. And if.   Dustin Heiner (41:53) Well, for me,   there are plenty of software out there. Turbo Tenants One, Avails and other, apartments.com, those are fine, but I don't wanna even do any of that stuff personally. Yeah, as an investor, I don't wanna deal with that stuff. I wanna hire a person. And honestly, I don't think that AI, even though there's great tools as a property manager to help your business better, I don't wanna have AI run my business because I want an actual person   Jason Hull (42:05) this part of the night.   Yes.   Dustin Heiner (42:23) that it's   going to make sure like they have the emotions and feelings that they know, okay, there's something here, there's something there. And I just know personally, and this is why I teach all my students is, hey, these software are great if you're gonna manage yourself, but you can't scale if you're managing yourself. What we need is to hire the right people. It's all about, like you said earlier, there's a book, it's who, not how. We don't want to figure out the how, we want to get the right people in place. And one last quick thing that I said this a little bit earlier,   But people always ask, well, Dustin, how do you afford this, that, or the other? And the way I don't afford it, I make sure I don't buy a property unless all those expenses are accounted for, like the property manager to taxes, insurance, and even my profit. I make sure that is in there before I buy the property.   Jason Hull (43:10) Yeah, we have a ROI calculator that some of our clients use that we built out that already has their fees built into it so that the investors can see what are the benefits of this. What are the tax benefits? How does the cash flow like all this? And then, yeah, and in that, if it's not going to math out, then you just change how much you're putting down, you know, or you're getting a different property, right? so, but the...   The property management fees, if you're smart, should already be built in.   Dustin Heiner (43:41) Absolutely, 100%. And on top of that, again, I have to say your profit. If you're just guessing how much profit you're making, in fact, I always like to be conservative in my expenses higher so I don't get surprised, oh man, I didn't have the, or, and, or my revenue or the income from the rents. I estimate it or be conservative on the lower end. So if I could rent it for 1300, I run my numbers maybe at 1250, maybe 1200.   just so I'm not gonna be like, man, I can't make any money out of this property. Because trust me, it's really easy to overlook something if you're not hiring experts. Like my property managers, they know, here's a good property manager. I'll say, hey, property manager, I'm looking to buy this property, know, number one happy street. Tell me about it. Will you rent it? How much will it rent for? What's the vacancy factor? Will you manage it? What's the clientele like? And the grit ones will say, you know what? I know that area. In fact, I have a property like one or two streets over.   We were trying to rent it for 1400 Zillow said 1400, but we couldn't rent it for that. We got 1300 for it. That's gold. That like, is so much better information for an investor. When a property manager is he knows he or she knows exactly what's going on in there on the ground. And that's going to make sure that you're doing everything right. So when you hire the experts, they're going to make sure you do it right. Because especially property managers, I would say realtors, we said that a little bit earlier. Realtors just want to sell, sell for the high smoke, but your property managers.   for the longevity of that property, they're taking care of it. They're constantly making sure that it's working for you. So always ask them before you buy the property.   Jason Hull (45:16) I love that. This is a great message Dustin. I really appreciate you coming on and sharing this. I'm pretty confident that our clients and property managers listening is gonna be like, man, like every investor should listen and do what Dustin says. This would make our lives so much easier. And it makes them feel so much more valuable as a property manager. So I appreciate you sharing a positive message to everybody here on the DoorGroves show.   Anything else that in imparting that you would like to say to property managers that might be listening?   Dustin Heiner (45:46) Yeah, so one thing that I mentioned a little bit earlier is having a floor of income that's outside of whatever your job or work, your business, having a floor of income coming in. And what I planned on was I asked my wife, how much money do I need to make every single month in order for me to quit my job? Like what's our expenses like? And I remember the number, plan is day $4,200, insurance, mortgage, food, like you name it, everything, all of our expenses. I thought, okay, to become financially independent,   Jason Hull (45:52) Yeah.   would probably be double   nowadays. Which would probably be double nowadays.   Dustin Heiner (46:14) What's that? Oh,   probably, probably. Yeah, definitely. And so I said, okay, this is just math. If I buy one property that made me $500 a month. Well, in one year, that's $6,000. 10 properties, that is $5,000 a month. Okay, I got 10 properties right there. Then it covers it. That's $60,000 a year in income. 20 properties, that is $10,000 a month. That's $120,000 a year. That's passive. That's cash flow. That's after expenses.   And I thought, my goodness, all I need to do is hit that certain number. And then once I do, I don't have to work anymore. But here's the great thing. I had 40 plus hours of my life back that now I only build businesses that affect me and my family, as opposed to working for somebody else or, you know, having 10 different bosses that are just pulling my hair out. Now, let's say you had properties that of your own and you had your own property management company, you can fire those.   Jason Hull (46:59) You   Dustin Heiner (47:10) landlords that are taking up so much your time. You're making five bucks a month. It's like, it's not even worth it. Fire them because you have a floor of income. You are able to move forward. So in the end, when you're investing in real estate, you're going to be able to have a floor of income, which is so much more amazing because you have so many more options. Options are what's going to help you to make sure you scale and level up in life.   Jason Hull (47:33) Love it. Yeah, I think it's it's there's few things investment wise that can have as big of a return as having a business. So property managers listening. Cool. Build your business up. Grow that. But if your primary goal is just to get more doors, that's to manage for other people that I think you're making a mistake like your primary goal should be since you know real estate investing and they say invest in what you know.   you should be stacking your own doors. You should be investing and putting that in just a much better store of income for the long term and it's gonna grow and it's also if you're making a cash flow, you've already got the systems, you've got everything. Like you would make way more money on those units. So you should be building up your own real estate portfolio. One of our clients, he fired most of his third party clients because he just focuses on using his property management business now as a honey pot or a fly trap.   people come to him and say, hey, I've got this rental property. He's like, cool, let me scare the crap out of you of the tax liability if you ever decide to sell it. And maybe you should just, you know, do seller financing with me without talking about seller financing. All right, and so he's just got all these properties. He's just stacking doors and he's making so much money, right? So if you're listening and he's in our program, come be in our program. You get to hang out with this guy and other really amazing people do amazing things. But if you're a property manager, build your business up.   Yes, but also build up your real estate portfolio because you're one of the best at this. You're an expert at this. And that puts you in a state of integrity anyway, like if you believe in this stuff. And then build up your portfolio of clients portfolio.   Dustin Heiner (49:10) Hey Jason,   would you mind if I gave everybody a real estate investing course completely for free just for listening to the show?   Jason Hull (49:16) I would not mind that at all.   Dustin Heiner (49:19) Awesome. I like I said, my goal is to help 1 million people to invest in real estate. want you to invest. So get my real estate investing course completely for free. If you text the word rental, R E N T A L rental to three, three, seven, seven, seven rental to three, three, seven, seven, seven. I'll literally give it to you for free. Or you can go to master passive income.com forward slash free course. All one word for it. Master passive income.com forward slash free course.   I'll show you how to find if you are investing your area, that's great, but let's say you want to go into another area. I love investing out of state five different states now that I'm investing in how to build a business everywhere, anywhere in the country, how to scale to become financially independent. You can also find me quickly. I'll just share that master passive income, the podcast. Like I just love giving out so much more coaching on the podcast. I've had people binge the entire 400 episodes now, Jason, binge all of them and like DM me on Instagram. They'll say Dustin.   just from listening to your podcast, I started investing in real estate. I'm like, yes, that's exactly why I have the show. So yeah, one quick last thing. If you want to DM me, The Dustin Heiner on Instagram. love chatting with people. I love helping people. And in the end, when we all invest in real estate, everybody wins because we have great properties that people need to rent. We make money, property managers make money. We have a floor of income coming in.   But in the end, my goal is to help a million people. it's just another way that I can serve. But honestly, in the end, everybody wins.   Jason Hull (50:51) I love it. So they can text rental to 33777. They can go to masterpassiveincome.com slash free course. And they can go to masterpassiveincome.com to check out your stuff. then the, the Dustin Heiner, H-E-I-N-E-R.   Dustin Heiner (51:14) Correct.   More than likely you'll find me. I'm probably the only the Dustin, like if you just type that in, but man, I've been working really hard at Instagram. find out I actually kind of like it. I do like it. I'm almost 200,000 followers now. I didn't buy any of them. Like literally just hard work, putting in just great content, helping people.   Jason Hull (51:29) Yeah,   you're crushing it, man. I'm at 8,000, so I've got to figure out how to 10x my goal to that. So I'm working on that too. very awesome.   Dustin Heiner (51:38) We could definitely chat some more.   I could show you at least some insights of what I've done, but no, it's been great. I would love if your entire audience, all your property managers realize, let's just, it could be as simple as once a year, you just keep one for yourself. You find one, you buy it, and just year after year, you get more and more properties. I think that's a minimum you should be doing one a year.   Jason Hull (51:42) All right, we'll keep going.   So how do we start matchmaking your best investors that get it with my best property managers that get it? This is something for us to think about maybe offline. I don't know.   Dustin Heiner (52:08) Mmm.   Yes, we can   definitely chat through what it really comes down to is areas, know, areas like what cities are they investing in? But let's definitely chat because I think we could have a really good, really good way because I might. In fact, I while we are on this call, you know, have I have slack and that's where the community I've got thousands of students now, but we're in there chatting. I saw one note pop up, Christina. She's been with me for years and years and years. She's doing really well. And she was like, man, in Cleveland, like I have this property manager. I'm not going to name their name.   they're falling apart, I need another property manager, and so what it really comes down to, maybe you just help me know where they're managing, and then I could just point them to my students.   Jason Hull (52:48) Or   tell that person, if any of your investors see this episode or whatever, tell them to get their property managers to go talk to DoorGrow. Just say, look, you're not doing a great job. I'm actually considering finding another property manager. I think you should go listen to Jason and go talk to DoorGrow and get your shit together.   Dustin Heiner (53:05) That's a fantastic idea.   Absolutely.   Jason Hull (53:08) Because here's the thing, property managers do not wake up in the morning saying, I want to have a shitty business today. But most property managers suck. So where's the disconnect? The disconnect is they don't have the right strategies for growth. They're trying to do a bunch of digital marketing. There's very little search volume of people looking for property managers online. And usually the ones that are are the worst. They're the cheapest owners that view them as a commodity. They're at the end of the sales cycle. Word of mouth usually captures all the good stuff.   So these are the shitty scraps that fell off the word amount table. they're built, so they're spending money that they don't really have to get clients that they don't really want. And then they have these portfolios that are really difficult to manage. so then customer service is the first thing to go out the window because they're struggling. And I call it the cycle of suck. Take on any client, you have bad clients. You take on bad clients, you have bad properties. You have bad properties to deal with. The tenants are not gonna be happy. So you have bad tenants. And then you're gonna have a bad reputation. And that sums, and then what does that do?   helps you attract more bad owners. And so this sums up the whole industry in aggregate and that's our mission at DoorGrow is to disrupt that cycle of suck and we have a different cycle, a cycle of success where you're filtering at each stage and improving things at each stage. yeah.   Dustin Heiner (54:22) Fantastic,   man. I'm super pumped. I'm glad you're doing this because we need good property managers and property managers need to be buying properties themselves. So I appreciate having me on the show,   Jason Hull (54:32) Awesome, thanks for being here. Alright, so appreciate Dustin hanging out with us. If you felt stuck or stagnant and you want to take your property management business to the next level, reach out to us at doorgrow.com or if you're an investor and you're tired of your property manager but there aren't any other good ones either, then send them to doorgrow.com. Also join our free community just for property management business owners at doorgrowclub.com.   on Facebook and if you found this even a little bit helpful, don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review. We'd really appreciate it. Until next time, remember the slowest path to growth is to do it alone. So let's grow together. Bye everyone.  

On today's solo episode we have a casual fan interaction and questionnaire to start things but then we get into the  REAL REAL, and I'm talking R E A L with it. I don't even want to spoil it. I barely want to put the names down but I feel I'd be doing a disservice to everyone if I didn't source my shit so if they loved something they know what it is and its title and author. FUCK. What a dilemma. When I talked to Barbara Manatee, I knew we'd have a good time, but I didn't know I'd have such a HARD time after(eyyo). Nah, credit where credit is due, if this solo episode is going to go down in history on Lotsa Pasta for going hard, I want to make sure I'm doing it right. Here's the stories we're reading today, some of the best of the best, the cream of the crop. Let's do this. The Tell-Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe (1:08:04)The Lottery by Shirley Jackson (1:25:55)Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been? By Joyce Carol Oates (1:52:58)I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison (2:40:23)Support us on PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/LOTSA_PASTAAND KO-FI: https://ko-fi.com/lotsa_pastaMERCH: www.redbubble.com/people/elcapitanmuerte/portfolioYOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/channel/UCxoqIN-fkfdlmGEjWujypxwSOUNDCLOUD: www.soundcloud.com/lotsa-pasta/(But also available on all major platforms like iTunes, Spotify, Google, Amazon, etc!)FOLLOW ON FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/LPCaptainDeathFOLLOW ON REDDIT: www.reddit.com/r/LotsaPasta/Featuring wonderful ambient music from our fam in Sweden: CryoChamber, givin' us all the ooky-spooky tunage. Follow: @cryo-chamberThank you!“Astral Alley“ is not my song. I do not claim ownership. Credit and All rights are reserved by the owners.

This week, we get into Jaws: The Revenge; a film that does in the impossible by using slasher tropes with a fucking shark. We were waiting for the scene when the girl gets the phone call asking her what her favorite scary movie is, but only before a soaking wet apex predator comes barreling out of the closet wearing a hockey mask and holding a machete. Sadly, that would have been a better beat than what we just witnessed, so of course we have to talk about it. Jaws IV, let's go! Sheriff's son, Sean, sees scary shark in the shallow sea shore… the shark, showing shiny sharp shards, shanks Sean, starting some shady shitty story! Putting the junk in Junkanoo! Deep sea telepathy! From grief to getaway! Fuck you a Funnybone sandwich! Unconscious conches! Silly story support! Hoagie's stogies? Government jellyfish money, and much, much more on this week's episode of The Worst Movie Ever Made! www.theworstmovieevermade.com

You're listening to Burnt Toast! Today, my guest is Tracy Clark-Flory. Tracy is the feminist writer behind the newsletter TCF Emails and the author of Want Me: A Sex Writer's Journey into the Heart of Desire. She's also the cohost of the new podcast Dire Straights where she and Amanda Montei unpack the many toxic aspects of heterosexual relationships and culture. I brought Tracy on the podcast today to talk about my feet, but we get into so much more. We talk about porn, sexual identity, and the male gaze—and, of course, how all of this makes us feel in our bodies.This episode is free but if you value this conversation, please consider supporting our work with a paid subscription. Burnt Toast is 100% reader- and listener-supported. We literally can't do this without you.PS. You can always listen to this pod right here in your email, where you'll also receive full transcripts (edited and condensed for clarity). But please also follow us in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and/or Pocket Casts! And if you enjoy today's conversation, please tap the heart on this post — likes are one of the biggest drivers of traffic from Substack's Notes, so that's a super easy, free way to support the show!Episode 202 TranscriptVirginiaI am so excited. We've been Internet friends for a long time, and it's so nice to finally have a conversation. I'm very jazzed! TracyRight? I feel like we've talked before, but we have not, which is such an odd sensation. We've emailed.VirginiaWe've emailed, we've DM-ed, we've commented on each other's things. But we have not, with our faces and mouths, had a conversation. The Internet is so weird.Well, the Internet being weird is a lot of what we're gonna talk about today. Because where I want to start today is feet.TracyWhy not?VirginiaSo I initially emailed you when I was working on my essay about my Wikifeet experience, because you have written so extensively about porn and the Internet's treatment of women. And when I discovered my Wikifeet, one of my first thoughts was, “I need to talk to Tracy about this.” TracyThat makes me so happy. I want to be the first person that everyone thinks of when they find themselves on Wikifeet.VirginiaI was like, “I don't know how she'll feel…” so I'm glad you take that as a compliment.I don't even know where to start. Even though I wrote a whole essay about this, my brain is still, like, “record scratch moment” on the whole thing. Sojust talk to us a little bit where in your vast reporting on porn did you kind of become aware of fetish sites and what's your read on them? What's going on there?TracyI think I first became aware of Wikifeet in 2008-ish when they launched, and that's when I was a proper, full-time sex writer, on the sex beat, covering every weird niche Internet community. And then in the years since, I've unfortunately had many women colleagues—often feminist writers—who have ended up on the site. So unfortunately, you're not the first person I know who's ended up on there.VirginiaIt's a weird thing that a certain type of woman writer is gonna end up on Wikifeet. Why?TracyThere are no shortage of women who are consensually volunteering photos of their feet online for people to consume in a sexualized way, right? So the fact is that this site is providing a venue for people to do it in a very nonconsensual way, where images are taken from other venues that are not sexualized. They're stolen images, you know? Things that are screenshotted from Instagram stories, that kind of thing—and then put into this sexualized context. Not only that, but put into a sexualized context where there is a community around sexualizing and objectifying and even rating and evaluating body parts.My take is that this violation is part of the point. Because there is having a foot fetish—great, have at it, enjoy. And then there's consuming images that are nonconsensual. So I think that the violation is part of the point. And to the point of feminist writers, women writers online, ending up on it—I don't think it's an accident. Because I think that there is—perhaps for some, maybe not all—some pleasure taken in that aspect of trespass.VirginiaYes. My best friend is a food blogger, and I immediately searched for her because she's way more famous than I am, and she's not on there. And I'm glad, I don't want her non-consensually on there! But I was like, oh, it's interesting that I'm on there, lyz is on there. It is a certain type of woman that men are finding objectionable on the Internet. And putting us on WikiFeet is a retaliation or just a way of—I don't know. It's not a direct attack, because I didn't even know about it for however long my feet have been up there. But it is a way for men to feel like they're in control of us in some way, right?TracyOh, totally. And it's because there is something interesting about taking a body part that is not broadly and generally sexualized, and sexualizing it. There is this feeling of a “gotcha!” in it.There is something, too, about feet—I mean, I think this is part of what plays into foot fetish, often. There is this sense of dirtiness, potentially, but also the sense of often being hidden away. It's secret, it's private, it's delicate, it's tender. Feet are ticklish, there's so much layered in there that I think can make it feel like this place of vulnerability.I've written about upskirting. This was maybe like 15 years ago. But it's these communities where men take upskirt videos and photos of women on the subway or wherever, and then they share them in online forums. And that's very clearly a physical trespass. You're seeing something that was not meant to be seen. So it's quite different. But it's feels like it exists on a spectrum of trespass and violation and taking sexualized enjoyment out of that.VirginiaFrom someone who had no intention of you taking that enjoyment, who's just trying to ride the train to work.TracyTotally. And the foot thing, it just makes me think of all these different ways that women experience their bodies in the world. You can't just be at ease in your body, because someone might think your feet are hot.VirginiaIt's really interesting. I've talked about this on the podcast before: A little bit after I got divorced and I started having, weekends totally to myself in my house, it was the first time I'd been alone in my house in a long time. Obviously, usually my kids were there. My husband used to be there. And I had this strange sensation of being observed, even when I was completely alone in the house.It's just me and the dog. She's asleep. I'm making dinner or watching TV or doing whatever I'm doing. And I couldn't shake the sensation that I was watching myself, still thinking about what I was going to wear. It was so weird, and I realized it actually isn't particularly a comment on my marriage. It's more a comment on women are so trained to always feel observed. It's really hard for us to actually access a space where we're not going to be observed. It was wild.TracyWe adopt that perspective of the watcher, and we are the watched. We experience ourselves in that way, as opposed to being the watcher, the person who sees and consumes the world and experiences the world. It's like we experience ourselves being experienced by someone else—an imagined man often.VirginiaYes, you're always self-objectifying. It doesn't matter whether you're trying to please that gaze, whether you're trying to protect yourself against that gaze. Whatever it is, we're always aware of how we'll be perceived in a way that I don't think cis men ever have to consider. I don't think that's a part of their experience of the world in the same way.TracyAnd how messed up is that tension between trying to please and trying to protect oneself? What an impossible tightrope walk to be constantly doing.VirginiaRight, and to not even know which one you want sometimes. Like, which one you need, which one you want.TracyYeah, going back and forth between those extremes. You're always kind of monitoring and on edge.VirginiaAnd, it did shift. Now when I'm alone in my house, I don't feel like I'm watching myself. Like, it did lessen. But it was this very stark moment of noticing that. And I think the way our work is so online, we are so online, it doesn't help. Because we also have all learned through the performance art of social media to constantly be documenting. And even if you're by yourself, you might post something about it. There's that need to narrate and document and then also objectify your experience.TracyThe sense of, like, if I don't take a photo of it, it doesn't exist. It didn't happen. It's not real. It must be consumed by other people. I mean, when you were talking earlier about that sense of being surveyed, I think that is a very just common experience for women, period. But then I think, for me, growing up with reality TV, the explosion of reality TV, like that added this like sense of a camera on one's life.And then I think, like, if you want to bring porn into it, too—Like, in the bedroom, that sense of the watcher, so you have this sense of being watched by men, but then you have the sense of kind of performing for an audience, because that's so much of what I came up with culturally.VirginiaI mean, the way we often conceive of our sexuality is through performance and how are you being perceived not how are you experiencing it yourself? I mean, you write about that so well, that tension.TracyThat was my whole thing. My sexual coming of age memoir is so much about what it meant to try to move out of that focus on how I'm being perceived by my partner and into a place of what am I experiencing? What do I even want beyond being wanted?VirginiaMan, it's amazing we've all survived and gotten where we are. Another layer to this, that I thought about a lot as I was processing my Wikifeet, was how instantly I felt like I had to laugh it off. I really felt like I couldn't access my true reaction to it. I just immediately sort of went into this Cool Girl, resigned, jaded, like “What do you expect from the Internet?” This is why I wanted to talk to you. Because I was like, oh, this feels very similar to stuff Tracy struggled with and wrote about in her memoir.TracyOh, totally. It makes total sense to me that you would go to that default place. It makes me think of how I, especially early in my career writing online as a feminist blogger, I would print out the very worst, most misogynistic hateful comments and post them on my fridge because I was willing myself to find them funny, to be able to laugh at them and just kind of distance myself from them and to feel untouched by them.I think that Cool Girl stance is a way of putting on protective armor. So I think that makes sense as a woman writing online, but I also think it makes sense in the context of sex. So much of what I did—this performative sexuality, this kind of sense of being down for whatever in my 20s—was, subconsciously, a kind of defensive posture. Because I think I had this feeling that if I'm down for anything, then nothing can be done against my will, you know? And that was the mental gambit that I had to engage in, in order to feel safe enough to explore my sexuality freely. Granted, it wasn't very freely, turns out. But it makes total sense that you would want to default to the laughing at what is really a violation. Because I do think that there's something protective about that. It's like, “No, you're not going to do this to me. You're not going to make me feel a certain way about this.” But that only takes you so far.VirginiaWell, because at the same time, it also is a way of communicating, “Don't worry, I can take a joke. I'm not one of those feminists.” It also plays right into that. So it's protective and you can't rattle me. And, I'll also minimize this just like you want me to minimize it. So I'm actually doing what you want. Then my brain breaks.TracyRight? And then we're back to that thing we were just talking about, the wanting to please, but then wanting to protect oneself, and the impossible balancing act of that. VirginiaLike you were saying you've experienced these horrific misogynistic troll comments. I experienced them in the more fatphobic sense, but like a mix, misogyny and fatphobia, very good friends.So I think when you've experienced more extreme things, you then do feel like you have to downplay some of the minor stuff. It feels scarier for men to say that my children should be taken away from me than it does for them to take pictures of my feet. I can hold that. And yet I'm still allowed to be upset about the foot thing. Just because some things are more awful, it doesn't mean that we stop having a conversation about the more mundane forms of violation, because the more mundane forms of it are also what we're all experiencing all the time.TracyRight? Like the daily experience of it. I mean, unfortunately, there just is a full, rich spectrum of violation.VirginiaSo many choices, so many ways, so many body parts.TracyI do think that the extreme examples do kind of serve to normalize the less extreme, you know? And what we sort of end up putting up with, you know? VirginiaWhat would you say was a helpful turning point for you? What helped you start to step back from being in that cool girl mode? From being in that “I'm performing sex for other people” mode? What helped you access it for yourself?TracyI mean, honestly? A piece of it was porn. It's funny because I turned to porn as a teenager online in the 90s as a source of—I felt at the time—intel about what men wanted. Like, here's how to be what men wanted. And I tried to perform that, you know? And there were downsides to that, of course. There are some downsides. But I would also say that like in the midst of plumbing the depths of 2000s-era, early 2000s-era tube sites to understand what men “wanted,” I also started to kind of explore what I wanted.I wasn't drawn to it from that place of self discovery, but I kind of accidentally stumbled into it because I was watching these videos. And then I was like, oh, wait, what about this thing? Like, that's kind of interesting to me. And then, you start to kind of tumble down the rabbit hole accidentally. Women are socialized to not pursue that rabbit hole for themselves, right? So it was only in pursuing men's desires that I felt like I was able to unlock this whole other world of fantasy and desire for myself that I wanted to explore and that I was able to get into some non-mainstream, queer indie porn that actually felt very radical and eye opening.It was this circuitous route to myself. That was just a piece, I think, of opening up my mind to the world of fantasy, which felt very freeing. Then, getting into a relationship where with a partner who I could actually be vulnerable with, was a huge piece of it. To actually feel safe enough to explore and not be performing, and to have those moments of awkwardness and that you're not just this expert performer all the time. Like, that doesn't lead to good sex.VirginiaNo, definitely not.There's a part in the memoir with your then boyfriend, now husband, and you say that you wanted—you call it “a cozy life.” And I think you guys put that in your wedding vows. I think about that all the time. I think it's so beautiful. Just like, oh right, that's what we're looking for. It's not this other giant thing, the performing and the—I don't know, there's something about that really stuck with meTracyThat's so interesting. I haven't thought about that for a while. It's really interesting, and it's funny, because it was part of our wedding vows. VirginiaCozy means safety with another person, that felt safety with another person, right? And the way we are trained to think of sex and relationships really doesn't prioritize women's safety, kind of ever.TracyI mean, yeah, it's true. There is something very particular about that word cozy—it's different from when people say, like, “I want a comfortable life.” VirginiaYeah, that's bougie.TracyCozy is like, I want to be wrapped in a cozy blanket on the couch with you. And feel safe and intimate and vulnerable. So thank you for reminding me of that thing that I wrote.VirginiaWell, It was really beautiful, and I think about it often, and it was kind of clarifying for me personally. And it's not saying sex won't be hot, you know? It's just that you have that connection and foundation to build whatever you're going to build.TracyRight? And I think coziness kind of is a perfect starting point for being able to experience sexiness and hotness. I think we have this cultural idea that one must have this mystery and sense of otherness in order to be able to build that kind of spice and fire. And at least in my experience, that was not ever the case. I know that other people have that experience, but for me, I never had the experience of that sense of otherness and kind of fear even, and trepidation about this other person leading to a really exciting experience. It was more like being able to get to a place of trust and vulnerability that could get you there.VirginiaAnd obviously, there are all different ways people enjoy and engage in sex. And I don't think every sexual relationship has to be founded in any one thing, but I think when we're talking about this transition that a lot of women go through, from participating in sex for his pleasure, for performance, for validation, to it being something you can do on your own terms, I think the coziness concept is really helpful. There's something there.All right, well, so now you are working on a new podcast with Amanda, as we mentioned, called Dire Straights. Tracy, I'm so excited, because Heterosexuals are not okay. We are not okay, as a population.TracyJust like, literally, look at anywhere. Open up the front page of The New York Times. We're not okay on so many levels.VirginiaSo tell us about the pod.TracySo it's a feminist podcast about heterosexual love, sex, politics and culture, and every episode, we basically pick apart a new element of straight culture. So examples would be couples therapy, dating apps, sex strikes, monogamy, the manosphere, pronatalism, the list goes on and on. Literally this podcast could just never end. There's too much fodder. Unfortunately, I'd love for it to end for a lack of content, but that's not going to happen.So we look at both sex and dating alongside marriage and divorce, and the unequal realm of hetero parenting. We examine celebrities and politicians and consider them as case studies of dire heterosexuality. Tech bros, tradwives, terfs, all the whole cast of terrible hetero characters are up for examination, and our aim is to examine the worst of straight culture, but it's also to step back and kind of try to imagine better possibilities.It's not fatalist, it's not nihilistic. I think we both have this sense of wanting to engage in some kind of utopian dreaming one might say, while we're also picking apart what is so awful and terrible about the current state of heterosexual culture.So our first episode is about dark femininity influencers. I don't know if you've ever encountered them online.VirginiaYes, but I hadn't connected the dots. So I was like, oh, this is a thing.TracyThat's that thing, yeah. That's how I experienced it. It was, like, they just started showing up on my TikTok feed, these women who are usually white and wearing a bold red lip and smokey eyes, and they're essentially promising to teach women how to use their sex appeal in order to manipulate straight men into better behavior. They're selling this idea of seduction as liberation, and specifically liberation from the disappointments of the straight dating world. This idea is that by harnessing your seductive powers, you can be in control in this terrible, awful straight dating sphere.VirginiaIt's like, if Drusilla from Buffy the Vampire Slayer wrote a dating book. I don't know if that reference speaks to you or not.TracyI'm a little rusty on my Buffy, I have to say.VirginiaShe's like, pale skin, red lips, black hair, and tortures men. But yeah, it's this idea that you harness all your like, seductive powers to torture men to get what you want, which is men. Which is a husband or a boyfriend or gifts or whatever. They're shooting for a heterosexual relationship by exerting this power over men, and so the idea is it is somehow it's giving them more power in a patriarchal dynamic. But it doesn't really because they end up in the same place.TracyIt's the same place, it's the same exact place. It feels to me, in some ways, like a corrective against the cool girl stuff that we're talking about that kind of emerged in the 2000s, where, you know, it's this sort of like being down for whatever, that kind of thing. These women are kind of saying, you're not going to sleep with him on the first date. You're going to make him work for it, you know? And so there's a sense of like, I'm in control, because I'm not giving it away for free. It plays into all these awful ideas about women and sex and power. But it is ultimately ending up in the same place, and it is just ultimately about getting a man, keeping a man. And so, you know, how different is it really? I don't think it is.VirginiaI mean, it's not. It's the same rules and conversations that Charlotte's having in the first season of Sex in the City, which is ancient at this point. How are we still here? Are we still here?TracyWe're just inventing new aesthetics to kind of repackage these very old, retro, sexist ideas, you know?VirginiaI also think it's really interesting and helpful that you are interrogating straight culture as someone inside a heterosexual marriage. I've written about my own divorce, my critiques of marriage, and it triggers great conversations, but it always triggers a very uncomfortable response from a lot of married women who don't really want to go there, don't really want to pick up the rocks and look underneath it because it's too scary. It makes sense. And I'm wondering how you think about that piece, and how that's working for you.TracyI think it's very destabilizing for a lot of women in straight marriages and just straight relationships, period, to consider these things. I think it was over a year ago now that I wrote this piece about trying to coin this term hetero-exceptionalism in response to the backlash that I was seeing to the divorce memoir boom, where women reviewers, but also just people on Twitter or wherever, were kind of pointing at these authors and being like, well, I don't know what's wrong with you because my marriage is great.VirginiaThe Emily Gould piece in New York.TracyThere's this sense of like, oh, well, either I chose a good man or I know how to conduct a healthy relationship.VirginiaI'm willing to put in the work.TracyGotta put in the work. You will love our next episode about couples therapy, because we talk about this concept of putting in the work, and the idea that marriage is work, and that if you're not doing the work you're lazy. You're failing, the whole project of it.VirginiaThank you for unpacking that incredibly toxic myth! It really keeps women trapped in “I just have to keep working harder.”TracyWhich I think totally relates to this, the response to the divorce memoirs we're getting from people and the discomfort of when women raise these issues in hetero relationships that are not individual. Like, yes, we all feel that our relationship issues are special and unique. But they all relate to these broader systemic factors.I think that is really, really, really uncomfortable to acknowledge. Because I think even if you're reasonably happy in your hetero relationship, I think if you start to look at the way that your even more minor dissatisfactions connect to these bigger dissatisfactions that women are writing about that's all part of this experience of love in patriarchy that it doesn't feel good. That feels terrible. So I totally understand that.In the same way that we're sold this idea of trying to find the one and that whole romantic fantasy, I think we're also sold this idea of trying to achieve romantically within these patriarchal constraints. So it's like, well, I found the good one. I found the unicorn man who checks all the boxes and I did my work and so I'm in a happy marriage.Virginia“I'm allowed to be heterosexual because I'm doing it right.” That's feeling uncomfortably familiar, to be honest. You think you're going to pull the thread, and you realize you'll rip it all out.TracyThe thing is that a lot of people should be pulling the thread, and a lot of lives should be unraveling, you know? I think that's the uncomfortable truth, right? I totally get the resistance to it. But on the other side of it, I think there are obviously, clearly, a lot of women who are wanting to look at it, and who do want to have these conversations.VirginiaIt sounds like this is what you're trying to chart. There has to be a middle path where it's not this defensive stance of, oh, I found the one good one. And we're equal partners. It's okay, but a relationship where we can both look at this, we can both acknowledge the larger systemic issues and how they're showing up here, and we can work through it and it's not perfect, because it is love in patriarchy, but it can still be valuable. There has to be this third option, right? Please tell me you're living the third option, Tracy.TracyI mean, I do believe that I am but I also hesitate to put any man or any relationship on a pedestal. What I'll say is that to me, it feels so utterly essential in my relationship to acknowledge the ways that our relationship is touched by patriarchy, because all relationships are touched by patriarchy, right? And to not fantasize about us somehow standing outside of it, but also to be having constant ongoing conversations within my relationship where we are mutually critiquing patriarchy and the way that it touches us and the way that it touches the relationships of people we know, you know? I think that's part of why I think I'm able to do this podcast critiquing heterosexuality from within heterosexuality is because my partner showed up to the relationship with his own prior political convictions and feminist awareness. I wasn't having to be like, here's what feminism is and, here's what invisible labor is, and the mental load and all that stuff. He got it, and so we're able to have a mutual shared critique, and that feels very important.VirginiaThat's awesome to know exists, and that you're able to figure that out without it being such hard work. But where does that leave women who are like, oh yeah, my partner doesn't have that shared knowledge? Like, I would be starting the education process from zero and encountering many resistances to it. And therein is the discomfort, I think.TracyI mean, and that is the discomfort of heterosexuality. It's in this culture, because that is the reality is there are not a ton of men who have voluntarily taken women's studies courses in college and have the basic background for this kind of stuff. It's a really high bar and there is this feeling of what are you going to do? Are you going to hold out for the guy who did do that? Or are you going to try to work with him to get there? And I think that's fine, but I think what's essential is are you both working to get there, or are you pulling him along?VirginiaYeah, that's the core of it.I think just in general, reorienting our lives to where our romantic relationships are really important, but so are our friendships. So is our community. I think that's something that a lot of us, especially us in the post-divorce club are looking at. I think one of the great failings of heterosexual marriage is how it silos women into these little pods of the nuclear family and keeps us from the larger community.TracyTotally. I really do believe that the way that our lives are structured, this hetero monogamous, nuclear familydom, it works against these hetero unions so much. Which is so funny, because so much of this is constructed to try to protect them. But I actually think that it undermines them so deeply and drastically. And that we could have much richer and more vibrant, supportive, communal lives that made these romantic unions like less fragile and fraught.VirginiaBecause you aren't needing one person to meet every single one of your needs, you aren't needing this one thing to be your whole life.TracyWe put all of the pressure on the nuclear household for the cooking, the cleaning, the childcare, all of that. That is an impossible setup. It is a setup for failure. There's I wish I could quote the writer, but I love this quote about marriage and the nuclear family being capitalism's pressure cooker. If you think about it in those terms, it's like, this is absurd. Of course, so many people are struggling.VirginiaIt was never going to work. It was never going to work for women anyway, for sure.Well, I'm so excited for folks to discover the new podcast. It's amazing, and I'm just thrilled you guys are diving into all of this. It's such an important space to be having these conversations. So thank you.TracyThank you! I'm very excited about it, and it does, unfortunately, feel very timely.ButterTracyI definitely do have Butter. And this is so on topic to what we've been discussing. This book of essays titled Love in Exile by Shon Faye. It is a brilliant collection of essays about love, where she really looks at the problem of love and the search for love as a collective instead of individual problem. It is so good. It's one of my favorite books that I've read in the last five years.She basically argues that the heteronormative couple privatizes the love and care and intimacy that we all deserve. But that we're deprived of in this late capitalist hellscape, and so she sees the love that so many of us are deprived of as not a personal failure, but a failure of capitalism and community and the growing cruelty of our world. It's just such a tremendous shift of perspective, I think, when it comes to thinking about love and the search for love and that longing and lack of it that so many people experience.VirginiaOh my gosh, that sounds amazing. I can't wait to read it. Adding to cart right now, that is a great Butter. Thank you.Well, my Butter is, I don't know if you can see what I'm wearing, Tracy, but it is the friendship bracelet you sent me when you sent me your copy of Want Me.TracyDo you know that I literally just last night was like, oh, I'm going on the podcast tomorrow, I wonder if she still has that friendship bracelet.VirginiaI'm wearing the one you sent me, which says Utopia IRL, which I love. And then I'm wearing one that says “Fuck the Patriarchy,” which was made by one of my 11 year old's best friends for me. So the 10 year old girls are going to be all right, because they're doing that.TracyThat's amazing.VirginiaI wear them frequently. They go with many outfits, so they're just a real go-to accessory of mine. My seven year old the other day was reading them and was so delighted. And now, when she's at her dad's and we text, she'll randomly text me, “fuck the patriarchy,” just as a little I love you text. And I'm like, alright, I'm doing okay here.TracyYou're like, that's my love language. Thank you.VirginiaSo anyway, really, my Butter is just for friendship bracelets and also mailing them to people, because that was so sweet that you did that.TracyCan I mention though? Can I admit that I literally told you that I was going to send you that friendship bracelet, and I made it, I put in an envelope, and it literally sat by my front door for a full year.VirginiaI think that makes me love it even more, because it was a year. If you had been able to get it out the door in a timely fashion, it would have made you less relatable to me.That it took a full year that feels right. And I was just as delighted to receive it a year later.TracyIt was a surprise. I was like, you probably forgot that.VirginiaI had.TracyI emailed about it and that we had an inside joke about it, because it had been a year.VirginiaI did, but then I was like, oh yeah!TracyYou know what? I think it's a testament to you and how you come off that I like felt comfortable sending it a year later and just being like, fuck it, she'll be fine with it.VirginiaYes, it was great. Anyway, my recommendation is send someone a friendship bracelet by which I mean put it in an envelope by your front door for the next year. Why not? It's a great thing to do.So yes, Tracy, this was so much fun. Thank you for being here. Tell folks where we can follow you support your work, all the things.TracyYou can find the Dire Straights podcast at direstraightspod.com. And you can find my weekly newsletter about sex, feminism, pop culture at Tracyclarkflory.substack.com and you can find me on Instagram at Tracy Clark-Flory.VirginiaAmazing. We'll link to all of that. Thank you for being here.TracyThanks so much for having me.The Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith (follow me on Instagram) and Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, and Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Farideh.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

In today's episode Nando T and Arianna are cooking, there is no time to waste as they cover the MEGA weekend of wrestling......almost overwhelming but we appreciate what we are getting, great discussions and what's next for Seth and the Oracle???? CHEERS!!!JERKING THE CURTAINROUND TABLE OF TOPICSSmackdown LA Knight drops a spoiler Can Solo be a HW champ in the future??? (Discussion)Sol gets called up…….Charlottes impressed We have new WWE champions!!!! Why hasn't Nikki Cross wrestled???? (Discussion) Logan Paul calling the Kettle Black Drew with a Claymore out of nowhere Jelly Roll in Randy's corner and Drew with LP???Priests lights go BlackThank you Naomi for saving that exchange between Tiffany and TrishLA Knight has his hands full and so does Paul Heyman THE GREAT AMERICAN BASHEvans sneaks out a winMatch of the night goes to Sol and Izzy Ego retains……helluva matchOba Femi needs to smash BriggsBlake Monroe shines in her debut……Grace needs to keep an eye on her SNMESNME is just a different vibe……Drew and Randy kick off the show….grrrreat match but Jelly Roll and LP took away from it Naomi and Jade should be a banger at EvolutionJimmy never had a chance…..MFT too strong Fatu vs Tala Tonga moves the needle FUCK!!! LA Knight gets the win but what now……(Discussion) Goldberg is officially retired by Gunther……match exceeded my expectations, great job by WWE and both wrestlersEVOLUTIONBayley repping Sting? The Man wins I don't like Blake Monroe Lots of legends in the stadium tonight……EXCUSE ME!!! Tag Championship was grrrreat and gives a lot to cheer for Its Trishy Time!!! Is Bianca next??? Jade staring her down Stephanie is going to Paris (Discussion) Iyo is too damn good…..amazing match between her and Rhea….Naomi cashes in, right choice??? (Discussion) RAWNaomi calls out the crowd……love it Is Iyo the greatest female wrestler right now??? (Discussion)For Liv

This week, Elle and Vee catch up with Athena talking all things NSFW and soul-deep: blowjob glory, gift kink, doctor role play, surrender vs submission,  orgasmic visuals and more.Unexpected First-Time Hookup Sex And Taking Sexy Selfies (00:00)Cock Worship Blowjob That Earned a Reward Fuck, Spit or Swallow & Taste of Cum (05:17)10:05Orgasming from Oral and Typical  11:26Visuals and Sensations During Orgasms18:33Getting off from buying gifts for others20:51“This feels so good” why do we try to stop it? Surrender vs Submitting 27:15Our Tools to Stay Focused and Present: Weed, 32:41Are BDSM and Biohacking The Same? 36:10Doctor Role Play40:28Core Desires: What Do You Want To Feel During Sex 49:10Can An Enneagram Personality Quiz Reveal Sexual Desires?  Where to find us, and how you can support us:Instagram: @girlsgonedeeppod Merch: girlsgonedeep.com/shop Woo More Play Affiliate Link: Support us while you shop! WHOREible Life: Get 10% off your deck with code GONEDEEP at whoreiblelife.com Instagram: @wlthegameContact: girlsgonedeep@gmail.com © 2025 GGD Alchemy, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

The guys discuss age on this one. Brandon is turning 44 which was the number we thought was worn by full back Mike Alstott(turns out he's number 40). Credere weaves a metaphor of his on field prowess to how we should live day to day. The battle of the LA zoo. Watching Carlitos Way again, really hits different. Red Bull light, daily recommended dose of caffeine and Jager bombs end up in Energy Drink Round-Up. Fuck having long hair and bicycles. Brandon's mom confirms how many of his ticks/quirks are actually just hand me downs. The Moa is being brought back, why?

A WW2 fantasy: a spy and a pilot take refuge in each other. by PeriodPorn. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Max turned around, still half asleep, pulling my body into the half-moon of his own. We lay on a straw mattress in the loft of a barn that had been taken by the resistance here in rural France, and for modesty's sake we had retreated to either sides of it; a difficult task, now made more challenging by the pilot's movements. He took a deep inhale, his face nestled into the back of my neck, and exhaled warm breath onto my tingling skin. Now, with me in his arms, his nightmares were retreating into the dark recess of his subconscious.We had slept beside each other for four nights now. That was how long it had been since we had found each other on a backroad from the border, him separated from his grounded plane and me… well, I had kept myself separate from everything in order to remain undetected. Every night he had been wracked with awful nightmares; this was the first he had touched me in his sleep. I knew that this respite from undoubtedly horrid images should be protected, but an itch inside of me yearned for his hands, now securely fastened at my waist, to animate themselves and explore my body. He had removed his cotton undershirt to sleep better in the heat, and in the dappled moonlight of the barn I could make out the sinews beneath his bare skin. “You hardly know him”, my brain hissed to itself, cannibalistic in it's determination to stifle the urges. “And he's not even awake so he doesn't know what he's doing”- Yet, I tilted my pelvis back ever so slightly. I sighed, trying to mimic the unintentional sounds of someone asleep. The movement made my body arch back into his groin. His body seemed to instinctively tighten around me, welcoming the way the space between us vanished. I felt small, childlike inside his broad, muscular frame. I tilted my pelvis back yet again, hoping the rhythmic movement might stir some kind of consciousness into his lower half. I moaned, as if I was the one having nightmares now. His arms, once slack against my lithe torso, now stiffened. That might have done it. I continued to keep my eyes shut, gripping my arms tighter against his, as if I were protecting myself. The more I created this fiction, the more real it felt. Hadn't I been trying to make myself invisible, protecting myself from enemies this whole time? “Natalie?” He whispered, his Scottish vowels thick and low in his hoarse semi-consciousness. I waited a moment, then pretended to rouse myself. I murmured a little. “Natalie,” he said, more gently this time, “I think you're havin' a nightmare.” You're a sneaky bitch, my brain thought- but his arms were so strong, his chest so firm against my back. I hadn't felt this safe since the start of the war. I was alone then… I had been alone for years. I had used men sexually, of course… but not for my own comfort. Not for my own pleasure. Hadn't I known from the moment he smiled from beneath his RAF cap that this could be a different kind of ally? “You're having a bad dream,” he repeated softly, with a tenderness I almost couldn't bear. As if I'd known him for more than two days. As if the thought of me, my safety, and my unreachable subconscious was of the utmost importance to him. I turned in so I was facing him, curling inwards and tucking my face just below his chin. I would never admit to being frightened by daylight, but in the darkness, I permitted myself this luxury; comfort. I had been frightened for so long, one almost comes to accept it; it was a fear people who did not know wartime would never understand. One of the pilots arms wrapped around my back and scooped me up, the other wrapping underneath my neck to cradle the nape of my hairline. His fingers were coarse unlike mine which were still soft from handling weapons of a slightly different kind: transistor radios. “Shhh,” he whispered sleepily. “It's alright.” His hand was so big that whilst still cupping the back of my head, his thumb could rest against my cheek. It stroked my face calmly, sending chills from the root of my torso up my spine. My breath caught a little, suspended between us. His other arm was still draped around me, no doubt feeling the change in my body. His body stilled too; he was suddenly holding his breath as well. His thumb, however, maintained its steady rhythm. I held my breath still, willing it to edge closer towards my parted lips. And then, it did. I could feel it… His thumb was edging closer and closer towards my lips, and then dared to caress them, catching slowly against my full lower lip as it did. The moment his thumb caught my lower lip, I exhaled, a light breeze brushing against his skin. His thumb lingered there, against the warm and wet skin inside. He was waiting for me to protest, to push him away. The silence between us felt electric. I moved one of my legs to negotiate the space between his, hooking myself around him so that our bodies could press together. With my chest now against his, I could feel the air between us thudding with quickening heartbeats. He did not remove his thumb from the entrance of my mouth. He was waiting for me to give him a signal to proceed. I gently brought his thumb between my teeth. It felt both coquettish and primal; the feeling of something fragile, soft, ready to be destroyed. Yet, his thumb retreated. I might have lost hope there, embarrassed and rejected, were it not for the feeling of his thrust pulsating against my lap. An unmistakable reaction of longing. I should not have worried; his retreating thumb dragged down my chin and neck slowly, leaving a slightly damp residue behind it that cooled quickly in the night air. Simultaneously his other arm brought me even closer to him, his breathing quickening. “Natalie,” he whispered, betraying a deep sense of longing. I knew he wanted me, then. He wanted me quite desperately. But I did not want it to be quick. I wanted it to be slow. I brought my free arm up behind his head so I could drag my fingers from the back of his head to the back of his neck, bringing my face up to meet his. Would he take it from me greedily, as if I were some street woman in a foreign city, an anonymous body that he could hide inside until his grief had retreated? He seemed to sense this. Instead of greedily launching at my mouth, he held me there. “I wish I could see your eyes,” he whispered urgently. “Your eyes…” “You can,” I promised him. “What do you see?” I was terrified of his answer, because I knew that so many men had answers readily prepared for questions like this; it didn't matter who was looking at them or who was asking. Intimacy was a game, a war they could win on foreign shores before returning to their squadrons to regale their mates with their conquests. I felt too deeply for that. Losing this moment to a parlour story meant for male amusement would be too painful. He was silent. Then, in a voice of resignation and sadness: “I saw a lot of pain.” There was no pretence, no air of manipulation. There was familiarity, however; a sense that he recognised it in me because he felt it himself. I held his neck here, hit with a wave of grief for us both. I would have pulled him so close that his body merged with mine, if I could. But this hand released him as soon as it held him there, tracing down the skin of his spine until I could pull it inwards towards our stomachs and continue this unbroken line, ever so slowly, around his side and drag it upwards between us against his almost hairless chest. I felt his heart beating there. His mast continued to throb against me, but it did not cheapen the moment. It intensified it. I knew he wanted me, and that it took everything in him to restrain himself… because he needed me more than he wanted me. He needed me to be here, in whatever way, and he wouldn't do anything to risk it being taken away. “I need you too.” I breathed. He could have me in whatever way he wanted… if that's what he really wanted. I could feel his face tilting towards mine, slowly, until his breath whispered against my mouth. Our lips were so close, his breath sweet and warm, smelling of the mead we'd drank with the resistance soldiers downstairs. His lips were soft against mine. I realised then that I had imagined this moment every time I looked at them, plump and full. His wrested with mine, not trying to part them but just enjoying the way they melted into each other. I was hungrier, it seemed; I gently parted his, daring my tongue to trace within just has his thumb had done only a few moments before. He drank me in. His warm tongue wrapped against mine, sending tingles through every nerve ending available, making me hungrier and hungrier. He finally broke his stillness. He gave in to his urges and grasped my body firmly. He positioned me on top of him as if I weighed nothing. My groin could not be separated from his, seeking heat and pressure, pressing against his shaft and his lower abdomen as I righted myself on top of him. Electricity surged inside of me, moving me to sit up away from his intensifying kiss so that I could straighten my arms and brace them on either side of his shoulders to slowly rock the seat of my body against him. I was abreast a wild horse, willing it to pursue. He groaned quietly, rock-hard beneath me. I continued to work him, wanting to feed the desire I knew was raging inside of him. It became too much to bear; he reached up with one hand and secured it behind my neck, bringing us together so that he could kiss me again, more urgently and messily this time. I slipped one of my arms down against his chest again, wanting to coax the creature that was aching for mine. He almost snarled inside my mouth as he grabbed that same hand and used his body to deftly spin me to my back, pinning both arms up on either side of my head. I exhaled through a smile, exhilarated by his careful control of my body. Now he had me pinned, and with a masterful restraint pulled his crotch away from mine so he could move quickly down towards my base. It was yearning for touch. I found myself nervous; he may not do this for women, I thought. A lot of men don't. Yet his fingers must have found the hem of my silk nightgown resting at my thighs because I could feel the roughness of his touch grazing upwards against my sensitive, soft skin towards my mound. I was not wearing undergarments. The pair I used were precious and currently drying somewhere… does he think me a whore, I worried- He seemed to sense my mind fretting because one of his hands felt down the side of my body slowly, taking in my shape. He was soothing me, willing me to relax. His caress was deliberate, careful, finishing at the side of my body where he gripped my hip, his fingers sinking into my soft arse cheeks. He audibly groaned here, starved for the softness of a woman's body. “Fuck,” he breathed, using his free hand to gently part my knees even further and position himself at the entrance. His head remained above water, however, and I could feel his eyes searching for mine through the dark. “Please…” he begged gruffly. “Please,” I exhaled urgently, bucking my hips upwards in an attempt to bring him closer to me. I felt his dark hair, dark brown and curly in the daylight, tickle the sensitive inner side of my thighs, signalling his descent into heaven. “Slowly,” I begged, my body already wired with so much desire that I felt I might break if he touched me too quickly, or too hard. He slowly kissed along the parting of my lips. This was almost too much; my inhales were short and sharp. He finally slid his warm, wet tongue between the folds ever so slightly, barely reaching the pink beneath that was slickening in preparedness. I groaned now, all other thoughts fleeing my body in anticipation for the moment his tongue would properly enter. When it did, I felt a rush of warmth cascade from my feet upwards. I could hear the sound of his wet tongue against my own moisture, lapping upwards towards the golden crown at the top. He was slow and deliberate, without feeling mechanical or procedural; He was listening to my breath, instructed by the movement and response of my body. I made a guttural sound as he reached the sacred place, his tongue flicking against it gently before massaging around its edges- “Yes,” I gasped, “like that-” But he didn't need my help, because my body was riding against his face, helping him reach the momentum it needed. His tongue quickened its pace, sensing that I was riding towards something that was fast approaching- “I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming” I chanted breathlessly, the ebbing of warmth in every part of my body concentrating into an intense beam that was crescendo-ing into its peak. It had been so long since I felt this. His tongue, darting deftly, was only seconds away from that final stroke. When it finally came, the crest of the wave brought a spilling sensation that had my legs quivering around the sides of his head. Then, my body felt as though it had melted away entirely. He hungrily kissed upwards from my abdomen, resurfacing to kiss my mouth with stubble wet from my release. “Max,” I whispered. I was panting slightly, my eyes still rolling backwards towards the darkness above. I was immobilised. “I'm sorry, I…” “No,” he stopped me. He didn't care if I returned the favour; he was too busy kissing my body lightly, devouring every inch he could. I must have tasted salty with sweat. I smiled, willing myself to return to reality. I reached for his hand, guiding it up towards my breast. His body came with it, softly pressing against mine. I could feel his member was already stiff – it seemed to have only strengthened in the time since I'd last felt it in my hand – but with the mention of my soft breasts, it quivered against my abdomen. His fingers started to gently coax the nipple, sending goosebumps down my torso. He was not like other boys, who grabbed and pinched. He took it into his mouth, sucking ever so gently. My other hand felt for him, moving from the base towards the tip ever so gently. “I could do this to you all night,” he promised me quietly- “No.” It was my turn to stop him. My strength had returned. I slunk downwards towards his cotton pants, bulging against what was within. I pulled them downwards, feeling his legs start to kick them away. We had showered hours before for the first time in months; his body smelled faintly sweet, a musk of summer sweat just starting to descend upon both of us. I kissed the inner sides of his thighs and up around his navel, wanting to draw out this moment for him. I moved unpredictably towards his erection, trusting that in the darkness he was relying on the sensation of touch alone. When I finally and slowly licked the length of his shaft, I heard him gasp in the darkness above me. “Natalie,” he exhaled with something that sounded almost like awe. I continued to slick his shaft with my tongue, working my way up towards the tip carefully, only tempering it ever so delicately. I needed to take it all into my mouth, though; I did, working up and down slowly, creating pressure with my lips as I went. “Ugh,” he groaned, “Oh, Jesus…” I worked him at the same slow pace, feeling his member throb with the base of my tongue. He was writhing beneath me on the bed, his hands grasping for my hair, my arm. The slowness was excruciating- So I replaced the pressure of my mouth with the pressure of my hand, gently increasing the pace. He was in ecstasy, laughing amidst the groans of delight. “You're amazing”, he exhaled in disbelief. I could hear his smile. I would have continued for as long as he would have me, but before long he was begging. “I need to be inside you.” I was quick to oblige, my opening aching with the promise of him. I straddled him once more, one hand bracing gently against his firm abdomen while the other hand guided him inside. There was little resistance; I was already so wet, enveloping him as if we had been designed to take each other and each other alone. He was the one who wanted to go slowly now, starting to buck his own hips up underneath me to feel me tighten around him… but I wanted to stay in control now, in the same way he had taken charge of me. I rocked forwards and back on him, riding him so that my pussy moved up and then back down to the base of his shaft with every stride. It felt as if he were entering me for the first time, over and over. I pinned his arms down, letting him relax into the feeling of being taken. He sat up abruptly, laughing in delight, pulling my torso towards his so that he could position me to be leaning back a little. He held me there easily with one arm, using his strength now to push upwards inside of me, pulsing harder and faster. I groaned, feeling him start to hit the wall of my cervix and hint at that inner spot, a different kind of dulled pleasure starting to awaken. I gripped my legs around the back of his torso to intensify it. He responded by taking both arms around me and standing up, lifting me easily and turning me over onto my back, gently laying me down while still maintaining his anchor inside me. He pumped inside of me here, harder than he had before. I wanted him to. He was starting to give in to his own needs now, rather than only thinking of mine. It was not reckless, or angry; it was deliberate, controlled. He was starving, but I knew too that he would hold out as long as he could. I felt my inner centre start to glow with the promise of a different kind of climax. I was surprised. I let out a low, sustained moan and positioned my legs so that they would tuck over his shoulders. I needed him to go even deeper now. He obliged, pumping. His breath was short; I could hear he was getting closer because he was exerting more and more force in his breaths, trying desperately to hold out. But I wanted him to surrender. With my face beside his head, my soft mews of encouragement were right beside his ears. Nothing was lost on him, and every sound I made egged him on. “I want you,” I said in a low whisper. “I want you.” This was too much for him; he spluttered, his body spasming suddenly. I could feel his rod giving it's final quiver, releasing his load inside of me. This filled me with such intense satisfaction that I rode my own kind of second wave of pleasure. He sighed, falling against my breast bone and burying his head into the side of my neck. He inhaled here, holding my head in his hand, cradling it. The pressure of his body against mine felt like home. I felt safe. “Natalie…” he murmured. I don't know what followed in his mind, what he was thinking but not saying, but it didn't matter. He rolled over onto his side, stroking my face in the darkness. Accustomed to the darkness now, I could see his eyes, searching for mine. I allowed myself to blink once or twice and look up at him. I didn't want to be separated from him… but I tore myself away to clean up. The air was fresh around my body, naked of it's covering, somehow removed in the throes of ecstasy. I hoped this would bring him relief, that he could sleep now, that I would return to the bed to find him sound asleep. His body was sprawled on its back, the moonlight illuminating his gorgeous expanse of chest, muscle and smooth pale skin. I found my place beside him, trying not to disturb. But within moments, he had turned himself inward to hold me again, our bodies returned to their half moons, only now there was only skin separating us. by PeriodPorn for Literotica.

A WW2 fantasy: a spy and a pilot take refuge in each other. by PeriodPorn. Listen to the Podcast at Steamy Stories. Max turned around, still half asleep, pulling my body into the half-moon of his own. We lay on a straw mattress in the loft of a barn that had been taken by the resistance here in rural France, and for modesty's sake we had retreated to either sides of it; a difficult task, now made more challenging by the pilot's movements. He took a deep inhale, his face nestled into the back of my neck, and exhaled warm breath onto my tingling skin. Now, with me in his arms, his nightmares were retreating into the dark recess of his subconscious.We had slept beside each other for four nights now. That was how long it had been since we had found each other on a backroad from the border, him separated from his grounded plane and me… well, I had kept myself separate from everything in order to remain undetected. Every night he had been wracked with awful nightmares; this was the first he had touched me in his sleep. I knew that this respite from undoubtedly horrid images should be protected, but an itch inside of me yearned for his hands, now securely fastened at my waist, to animate themselves and explore my body. He had removed his cotton undershirt to sleep better in the heat, and in the dappled moonlight of the barn I could make out the sinews beneath his bare skin. “You hardly know him”, my brain hissed to itself, cannibalistic in it's determination to stifle the urges. “And he's not even awake so he doesn't know what he's doing”- Yet, I tilted my pelvis back ever so slightly. I sighed, trying to mimic the unintentional sounds of someone asleep. The movement made my body arch back into his groin. His body seemed to instinctively tighten around me, welcoming the way the space between us vanished. I felt small, childlike inside his broad, muscular frame. I tilted my pelvis back yet again, hoping the rhythmic movement might stir some kind of consciousness into his lower half. I moaned, as if I was the one having nightmares now. His arms, once slack against my lithe torso, now stiffened. That might have done it. I continued to keep my eyes shut, gripping my arms tighter against his, as if I were protecting myself. The more I created this fiction, the more real it felt. Hadn't I been trying to make myself invisible, protecting myself from enemies this whole time? “Natalie?” He whispered, his Scottish vowels thick and low in his hoarse semi-consciousness. I waited a moment, then pretended to rouse myself. I murmured a little. “Natalie,” he said, more gently this time, “I think you're havin' a nightmare.” You're a sneaky bitch, my brain thought- but his arms were so strong, his chest so firm against my back. I hadn't felt this safe since the start of the war. I was alone then… I had been alone for years. I had used men sexually, of course… but not for my own comfort. Not for my own pleasure. Hadn't I known from the moment he smiled from beneath his RAF cap that this could be a different kind of ally? “You're having a bad dream,” he repeated softly, with a tenderness I almost couldn't bear. As if I'd known him for more than two days. As if the thought of me, my safety, and my unreachable subconscious was of the utmost importance to him. I turned in so I was facing him, curling inwards and tucking my face just below his chin. I would never admit to being frightened by daylight, but in the darkness, I permitted myself this luxury; comfort. I had been frightened for so long, one almost comes to accept it; it was a fear people who did not know wartime would never understand. One of the pilots arms wrapped around my back and scooped me up, the other wrapping underneath my neck to cradle the nape of my hairline. His fingers were coarse unlike mine which were still soft from handling weapons of a slightly different kind: transistor radios. “Shhh,” he whispered sleepily. “It's alright.” His hand was so big that whilst still cupping the back of my head, his thumb could rest against my cheek. It stroked my face calmly, sending chills from the root of my torso up my spine. My breath caught a little, suspended between us. His other arm was still draped around me, no doubt feeling the change in my body. His body stilled too; he was suddenly holding his breath as well. His thumb, however, maintained its steady rhythm. I held my breath still, willing it to edge closer towards my parted lips. And then, it did. I could feel it… His thumb was edging closer and closer towards my lips, and then dared to caress them, catching slowly against my full lower lip as it did. The moment his thumb caught my lower lip, I exhaled, a light breeze brushing against his skin. His thumb lingered there, against the warm and wet skin inside. He was waiting for me to protest, to push him away. The silence between us felt electric. I moved one of my legs to negotiate the space between his, hooking myself around him so that our bodies could press together. With my chest now against his, I could feel the air between us thudding with quickening heartbeats. He did not remove his thumb from the entrance of my mouth. He was waiting for me to give him a signal to proceed. I gently brought his thumb between my teeth. It felt both coquettish and primal; the feeling of something fragile, soft, ready to be destroyed. Yet, his thumb retreated. I might have lost hope there, embarrassed and rejected, were it not for the feeling of his thrust pulsating against my lap. An unmistakable reaction of longing. I should not have worried; his retreating thumb dragged down my chin and neck slowly, leaving a slightly damp residue behind it that cooled quickly in the night air. Simultaneously his other arm brought me even closer to him, his breathing quickening. “Natalie,” he whispered, betraying a deep sense of longing. I knew he wanted me, then. He wanted me quite desperately. But I did not want it to be quick. I wanted it to be slow. I brought my free arm up behind his head so I could drag my fingers from the back of his head to the back of his neck, bringing my face up to meet his. Would he take it from me greedily, as if I were some street woman in a foreign city, an anonymous body that he could hide inside until his grief had retreated? He seemed to sense this. Instead of greedily launching at my mouth, he held me there. “I wish I could see your eyes,” he whispered urgently. “Your eyes…” “You can,” I promised him. “What do you see?” I was terrified of his answer, because I knew that so many men had answers readily prepared for questions like this; it didn't matter who was looking at them or who was asking. Intimacy was a game, a war they could win on foreign shores before returning to their squadrons to regale their mates with their conquests. I felt too deeply for that. Losing this moment to a parlour story meant for male amusement would be too painful. He was silent. Then, in a voice of resignation and sadness: “I saw a lot of pain.” There was no pretence, no air of manipulation. There was familiarity, however; a sense that he recognised it in me because he felt it himself. I held his neck here, hit with a wave of grief for us both. I would have pulled him so close that his body merged with mine, if I could. But this hand released him as soon as it held him there, tracing down the skin of his spine until I could pull it inwards towards our stomachs and continue this unbroken line, ever so slowly, around his side and drag it upwards between us against his almost hairless chest. I felt his heart beating there. His mast continued to throb against me, but it did not cheapen the moment. It intensified it. I knew he wanted me, and that it took everything in him to restrain himself… because he needed me more than he wanted me. He needed me to be here, in whatever way, and he wouldn't do anything to risk it being taken away. “I need you too.” I breathed. He could have me in whatever way he wanted… if that's what he really wanted. I could feel his face tilting towards mine, slowly, until his breath whispered against my mouth. Our lips were so close, his breath sweet and warm, smelling of the mead we'd drank with the resistance soldiers downstairs. His lips were soft against mine. I realised then that I had imagined this moment every time I looked at them, plump and full. His wrested with mine, not trying to part them but just enjoying the way they melted into each other. I was hungrier, it seemed; I gently parted his, daring my tongue to trace within just has his thumb had done only a few moments before. He drank me in. His warm tongue wrapped against mine, sending tingles through every nerve ending available, making me hungrier and hungrier. He finally broke his stillness. He gave in to his urges and grasped my body firmly. He positioned me on top of him as if I weighed nothing. My groin could not be separated from his, seeking heat and pressure, pressing against his shaft and his lower abdomen as I righted myself on top of him. Electricity surged inside of me, moving me to sit up away from his intensifying kiss so that I could straighten my arms and brace them on either side of his shoulders to slowly rock the seat of my body against him. I was abreast a wild horse, willing it to pursue. He groaned quietly, rock-hard beneath me. I continued to work him, wanting to feed the desire I knew was raging inside of him. It became too much to bear; he reached up with one hand and secured it behind my neck, bringing us together so that he could kiss me again, more urgently and messily this time. I slipped one of my arms down against his chest again, wanting to coax the creature that was aching for mine. He almost snarled inside my mouth as he grabbed that same hand and used his body to deftly spin me to my back, pinning both arms up on either side of my head. I exhaled through a smile, exhilarated by his careful control of my body. Now he had me pinned, and with a masterful restraint pulled his crotch away from mine so he could move quickly down towards my base. It was yearning for touch. I found myself nervous; he may not do this for women, I thought. A lot of men don't. Yet his fingers must have found the hem of my silk nightgown resting at my thighs because I could feel the roughness of his touch grazing upwards against my sensitive, soft skin towards my mound. I was not wearing undergarments. The pair I used were precious and currently drying somewhere… does he think me a whore, I worried- He seemed to sense my mind fretting because one of his hands felt down the side of my body slowly, taking in my shape. He was soothing me, willing me to relax. His caress was deliberate, careful, finishing at the side of my body where he gripped my hip, his fingers sinking into my soft arse cheeks. He audibly groaned here, starved for the softness of a woman's body. “Fuck,” he breathed, using his free hand to gently part my knees even further and position himself at the entrance. His head remained above water, however, and I could feel his eyes searching for mine through the dark. “Please…” he begged gruffly. “Please,” I exhaled urgently, bucking my hips upwards in an attempt to bring him closer to me. I felt his dark hair, dark brown and curly in the daylight, tickle the sensitive inner side of my thighs, signalling his descent into heaven. “Slowly,” I begged, my body already wired with so much desire that I felt I might break if he touched me too quickly, or too hard. He slowly kissed along the parting of my lips. This was almost too much; my inhales were short and sharp. He finally slid his warm, wet tongue between the folds ever so slightly, barely reaching the pink beneath that was slickening in preparedness. I groaned now, all other thoughts fleeing my body in anticipation for the moment his tongue would properly enter. When it did, I felt a rush of warmth cascade from my feet upwards. I could hear the sound of his wet tongue against my own moisture, lapping upwards towards the golden crown at the top. He was slow and deliberate, without feeling mechanical or procedural; He was listening to my breath, instructed by the movement and response of my body. I made a guttural sound as he reached the sacred place, his tongue flicking against it gently before massaging around its edges- “Yes,” I gasped, “like that-” But he didn't need my help, because my body was riding against his face, helping him reach the momentum it needed. His tongue quickened its pace, sensing that I was riding towards something that was fast approaching- “I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming” I chanted breathlessly, the ebbing of warmth in every part of my body concentrating into an intense beam that was crescendo-ing into its peak. It had been so long since I felt this. His tongue, darting deftly, was only seconds away from that final stroke. When it finally came, the crest of the wave brought a spilling sensation that had my legs quivering around the sides of his head. Then, my body felt as though it had melted away entirely. He hungrily kissed upwards from my abdomen, resurfacing to kiss my mouth with stubble wet from my release. “Max,” I whispered. I was panting slightly, my eyes still rolling backwards towards the darkness above. I was immobilised. “I'm sorry, I…” “No,” he stopped me. He didn't care if I returned the favour; he was too busy kissing my body lightly, devouring every inch he could. I must have tasted salty with sweat. I smiled, willing myself to return to reality. I reached for his hand, guiding it up towards my breast. His body came with it, softly pressing against mine. I could feel his member was already stiff – it seemed to have only strengthened in the time since I'd last felt it in my hand – but with the mention of my soft breasts, it quivered against my abdomen. His fingers started to gently coax the nipple, sending goosebumps down my torso. He was not like other boys, who grabbed and pinched. He took it into his mouth, sucking ever so gently. My other hand felt for him, moving from the base towards the tip ever so gently. “I could do this to you all night,” he promised me quietly- “No.” It was my turn to stop him. My strength had returned. I slunk downwards towards his cotton pants, bulging against what was within. I pulled them downwards, feeling his legs start to kick them away. We had showered hours before for the first time in months; his body smelled faintly sweet, a musk of summer sweat just starting to descend upon both of us. I kissed the inner sides of his thighs and up around his navel, wanting to draw out this moment for him. I moved unpredictably towards his erection, trusting that in the darkness he was relying on the sensation of touch alone. When I finally and slowly licked the length of his shaft, I heard him gasp in the darkness above me. “Natalie,” he exhaled with something that sounded almost like awe. I continued to slick his shaft with my tongue, working my way up towards the tip carefully, only tempering it ever so delicately. I needed to take it all into my mouth, though; I did, working up and down slowly, creating pressure with my lips as I went. “Ugh,” he groaned, “Oh, Jesus…” I worked him at the same slow pace, feeling his member throb with the base of my tongue. He was writhing beneath me on the bed, his hands grasping for my hair, my arm. The slowness was excruciating- So I replaced the pressure of my mouth with the pressure of my hand, gently increasing the pace. He was in ecstasy, laughing amidst the groans of delight. “You're amazing”, he exhaled in disbelief. I could hear his smile. I would have continued for as long as he would have me, but before long he was begging. “I need to be inside you.” I was quick to oblige, my opening aching with the promise of him. I straddled him once more, one hand bracing gently against his firm abdomen while the other hand guided him inside. There was little resistance; I was already so wet, enveloping him as if we had been designed to take each other and each other alone. He was the one who wanted to go slowly now, starting to buck his own hips up underneath me to feel me tighten around him… but I wanted to stay in control now, in the same way he had taken charge of me. I rocked forwards and back on him, riding him so that my pussy moved up and then back down to the base of his shaft with every stride. It felt as if he were entering me for the first time, over and over. I pinned his arms down, letting him relax into the feeling of being taken. He sat up abruptly, laughing in delight, pulling my torso towards his so that he could position me to be leaning back a little. He held me there easily with one arm, using his strength now to push upwards inside of me, pulsing harder and faster. I groaned, feeling him start to hit the wall of my cervix and hint at that inner spot, a different kind of dulled pleasure starting to awaken. I gripped my legs around the back of his torso to intensify it. He responded by taking both arms around me and standing up, lifting me easily and turning me over onto my back, gently laying me down while still maintaining his anchor inside me. He pumped inside of me here, harder than he had before. I wanted him to. He was starting to give in to his own needs now, rather than only thinking of mine. It was not reckless, or angry; it was deliberate, controlled. He was starving, but I knew too that he would hold out as long as he could. I felt my inner centre start to glow with the promise of a different kind of climax. I was surprised. I let out a low, sustained moan and positioned my legs so that they would tuck over his shoulders. I needed him to go even deeper now. He obliged, pumping. His breath was short; I could hear he was getting closer because he was exerting more and more force in his breaths, trying desperately to hold out. But I wanted him to surrender. With my face beside his head, my soft mews of encouragement were right beside his ears. Nothing was lost on him, and every sound I made egged him on. “I want you,” I said in a low whisper. “I want you.” This was too much for him; he spluttered, his body spasming suddenly. I could feel his rod giving it's final quiver, releasing his load inside of me. This filled me with such intense satisfaction that I rode my own kind of second wave of pleasure. He sighed, falling against my breast bone and burying his head into the side of my neck. He inhaled here, holding my head in his hand, cradling it. The pressure of his body against mine felt like home. I felt safe. “Natalie…” he murmured. I don't know what followed in his mind, what he was thinking but not saying, but it didn't matter. He rolled over onto his side, stroking my face in the darkness. Accustomed to the darkness now, I could see his eyes, searching for mine. I allowed myself to blink once or twice and look up at him. I didn't want to be separated from him… but I tore myself away to clean up. The air was fresh around my body, naked of it's covering, somehow removed in the throes of ecstasy. I hoped this would bring him relief, that he could sleep now, that I would return to the bed to find him sound asleep. His body was sprawled on its back, the moonlight illuminating his gorgeous expanse of chest, muscle and smooth pale skin. I found my place beside him, trying not to disturb. But within moments, he had turned himself inward to hold me again, our bodies returned to their half moons, only now there was only skin separating us. by PeriodPorn for Literotica.

Every time I take him in I must remember the best thing That have ever happened to him As he said And whether or not the band Wraps around the bent and broken digit I just simply remember that, I'm just infatuated as a friend I mark it like a mantra Just as adequately as the director Calls to action All the actors at the set; With no resentments We're all just doing our jobs All just doing our jobs We're all just doing our… Lessons. Come back. Not quite. It's not (Uh) There (Where you want it) Hold on. (Yeah) Sit tight (Where) I don't want to spoil any of it Boil all the letters Burning all the bridges Sitting at the forest (Where) There's the alter (Where) Really you didn't recognize The moment when it happened But it's been pinpointed (Where) —but where is it? Cut to commercial But don't let it hurt you All of a sudden. My eyes aren't his, This isn't witchcraft It's just a glitch Did you miss an interview? Or is it that you're just disinterested Or disintegrated Integration, integers and interference Running backs and runners, Gymnasts, models, other lovers Alcoholics Now it's not so daunting, comic I'm also sort of off and autistic Obsessive with narrow vision But glimpses of the ever bending present Is indeed a gift To know I left the letter Letting it get soaking wet Before they ever even read it Know the news, Wave the wand, Wind the whales, Dig the hole Burn the bridge, Burn the ace Throw the cards, Get the day over with and won't you know There's Something wrong I think it's simple to tell The wind will whistle when It's good to win again There are Ten men to a collar Ten phones to a number One call to a voicemail And all of them know her Now, take it all back before the bathwater stagnates Would you make it in this day and age? No, I'm glad that you hate me. 4,000 years later and all of a sudden The pact is clear and concise As if As it As if Turn it on its head a bit And light another candle Get the glitch out of your Obsession with the asshole And wrap you head around it Found a sweater Pick it up and pray that it just Isn't bewitched, But sickness is sickness Whatever it is This is comfort food A comfort blanket If I hate myself enough Then all it does Is put the elf back on the shelf The trophy back inside the case My eyes go back inside my head And everything I ever thought Just stopped And disappears into the heavens Wherever it goes Before the gore Around and and around and around and around 4,000 years, and now we're here: The mirrors Man and Mr. And it might be another million years Until I see to hear But this and that, The dance of dances Comes again And ebbs and flows It's not as random As it is sporadic And it's not that deep But it's also keeping secrets That precede this realm Or Space and time Or name or face And body, souls and mind. It could be another million years, But it comes around, It comes around It could be getting wider, But it's steady going down and out It comes around when it comes around 27, were it ended Now it's umpteen years into the after life And we're shadows now Just projections of such, But it wasn't once More than just a thought, Becomes a story All the world was just the thought And then a song, The dance that came along Is simply steady moving Is simple steady moving. All of the world, Was just a thought. Watch with one eye open only First the right And then the left Covered over with one closed palm So you know how old you go One foot forward And no coals to walk over Rolling rolling, Your role is One off, Now too off Now too late But what you process Is your whole world over The goal for the gold? Oh, no, Warm Sundays Try to warn her While her heart is open To fucking close it Keep your friends close And your Fallons closer. There's no trust in the golden auras There's no honor in golden globes If you don't work for them Know doors open and close And open and close And you don't blow smoke, But you just keep moving forward [The Festival Project ™ ] Just the idea if him will kill you Whether with guilt or otherwise, And now you know And now you know You're on no sugar till the goal You got your cake and ate it, too Oh, the way he cries in the confines of my mind The blood would curdle The tears that seared my soul disk through the wall with every color If his was a shoulder to cry on, If God was a cover for longing Yo. Where the fuck did Patrick come from? He just showed up. I don't think he owns me so much As I want to know I don't think I'm lonely As much as it's I'm alone What are you looking at Well, I don't know yet What are you asking? I can't. There's a mask there What I want to know is, What is this pain? What is this pain in him? What is this pain in this? What kind of psychic sense That lives in my back; I just hope that's the last of it What a weird kid. Core Concept: "Enter The Multiverse" (ETM) is a living, evolving meta-narrative that documents the ontological fluidity of reality itself. It functions as a grand experiment, proposing that all perceived realities – fictional, historical, and contemporary – exist as vibrational frequencies within an infinite cosmic tapestry. ETM doesn't just feature alternate worlds; it explores the mechanics of their existence, their interconnectedness, and the profound implications for consciousness. It blends high-concept quantum physics with ancient spiritual metaphysics. It includes creatures such as shapeshifters (like Gerald and potentially Jimmy Fallon), fairies, and monsters. Integration of Real-Life Figures: ETM famously integrates real-life celebrities (from A-list icons like Oprah Winfrey, Beyoncé, Janet Jackson, Madonna, Billie Eilish, Finneas, Eddie Murphy, Christopher Walken, Johnny Depp, Charlie Sheen, Katt Williams, and Whoopi Goldberg, to late-night hosts and media personalities like Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon). ETM posits that these individuals, often without their conscious awareness, are either key nodal points in the multiversal fabric, accidental conduits for interdimensional energies, or even unwitting "Lightworkers" whose public personas are part of a larger cosmic script. You son of a bitch. Can you do that?! Can you do that? I can do— anything I want— Really? Except that. Oh?! And why's this?! Because I don't want to. But if you could, you would. I can— I just— Oh really. I'm sure there are reasons— besides the obvious —I'm sure— Moral ones. Almost Sam was a safe bet Almost mark John was a good lad Almost once was the Ireland's best, And I guess with the beat of the drum, I ponder Ponder to the beat of the Pity my pocket, much Pity the fool, if you're. It put b perfect; Get in the picture, Just to cut you out of it If I close my eyes one time, Even just for a little while Take me right off and away Take me right off and away And I bet with the task, you can't have handled it I bet to run better you'd forget your purpose I guess I'm a purist- pure problems, the pussy car l Put it to sleep, Or just— in a waste basket I'm so confused, ya'll, I got on the train. Of course. And nothing was at all interesting until this nigga got on With a samurai sword And a Trader Joe's clutch Pick a side! You can't get on the What the fuck am I looking at You tel me I don't know. You see that. I wish I didn't. Take it all in. I— Okay. This is gross What is the state of New York today? L Infected. Corrupt. Disingenuous. What is the state of New York today No identity No indegenous Murder me Leave me to drown In the tides of the ocean Just let me sink That's the only way to Bury me, With this murderous, traitorous Listen, if you will To a story ne'er told, But often sung And often rang like moons as bells Often thought, but never spoken Often brought up, But never put down Come around, will you I'll tell you a tale of a glorious story The take of all time, and as you listen, These words and this whispers will mend with your spirit, Then cease to exist with it Listen Celebrating resonances Has no effect. Yet I haven't even messaged any I haven't even lets a message yet I've just been celebrating resonances I haven't noticed any difference her. Only reflections on the way you get affexted How to get the guy at the bar— aunt you just lean on the bar Maybe you just sit at the bar Maybe you just be at the bar; How to get the guy at the bar Maybe you just stare at the bare Sit right there at the bare Maybe have a care at the bar Don't share at the bar Several small disaster. Why the fuck Am I alive I might as just well die I should have never made Pasquale Rotella one of my role models. —then again. This is before I really knew who he was, or what he was about— and at the end of the day, the truth of the matter is, nobody can ever really know who he really was, or what he was really about. Semitus, Semitus Relax the semitones Verdis Quo varitus You still aren't coming through! Varuq de Adonai Semitus, Semitus Verdis Quo, Veritus You still aren't coming through Cover up Cover up You still aren't coming through! Tau Kappa Epslilon You still aren't coming through Kappa Kappa epsilon, You still aren't coming through Kappa Delta Epsilon, you still aren't coming through MR. REDUNDANT, RAINBOW KITTEN SUPRISE– But IN AN UNASSUMING IRISH BAR in DRUNKEN HARMONY surrounding a piano played by what appears to be… An exceptionally tall leprechaun? I wouldn't know. I wasn't. [invited] Enchilada muffins Ah nah, I'm in Manhattan. I almost forgot what that was like. What a head change. More like a change of heart. What's this, a song? More like, I just don't know yet One day this will all be gone For now this is just a poem. How to wear Santa yellow: don't That took avoid anount of forever. That took a long punch of time That took a good bit of forever And now you're mine, You're mine, you're mine That took a good bit of forever, And now I'm on your mind That took a long bit of forever But now, I'm not counting time And now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're mine Now you're kine Jack in the box You really like to think you're smart, don't you? You really like to get your way? I can't Blame you But baby, I can't tame you LEAN WIT IT, ROCK WIT IT–BUT VIKING PIRATES. lol dumb “Nobody's really going to take that ad in the same way I am, are they?” I had reached a breaking point. I was going to let the world make me go mad because being good wasn't working and being bad seemed like my only option. Should I get a vape? Grab a drink? Fuck a friend? The truth was, none of the above would suffice, but in truth I felt the hate and rapid fire of judgement in cruelty in that whatever voice inside my head posing as Jimmy Fallon always seemed to be right. I had been replaced. People will try to feed you. Dont you see Because People will try to defeat you And they will fail Back to the wall Because after all It was you who needed me. After all, Over all, It was not a cacauphony, It was an apostrophe. How preposterous. Don't you see the weight of it, With what you made of it all, It was fly over fall And you chose the first. Wasn't it something of a hallmark moment That you went for the donut, And still came out With a basket of apples? Indeed, a crisis, In fact, You're there again In fact Beware of her It's obvious That it's not her fault It's just not the right time It's just not the right te, it's just not the right time When all they need if your compliance And all the my want is your attention And don't you see, it's just applied physics I'll take Literally Whatever I can get But you already knew that I needed you to need to know You know you knew But you already blue that And i'n already blue balled, So send me a bluebell It's nothing new, hell But it's crucial that I Screw you We all go to work in a toolbox My dear did What on earth are you doing in The fourth dimension?! I thought things were kind of strange… We interrupt this orogramme to bring you a live broadcast of a current alien invasion—breaking news— If you jump I might just jump Don't jump If you jump I might jump Same here If you jump I might jump I'll jump Don't jump Same here I might just jump 311-231-25900 311-231-26867 JIMMY FALLON pours himself a tall glass of WHATEVER— this is clearly one of those hype celebrity-curated brands of liquor meant to be hip and chic— a luxurious black-label bottle of fine liquor which literally, in bold white lettering, simply says WHATEVER; next to it on the oak wood table is another bottle of WHATEVER— a clear liquor, however with a white label and black lettering. This is clearly someone's brand, although— in the confines of a murky and dimly lit office, oppulent as it is— this is no plug, and there are no cameras, no audience. JIMMY FALLON knows he is about to be murdered, and as the dark liquid— perhaps a rum of some sort— glides over the barreled rocks in his glass, he calmly lets out a subtle sigh of exasperation. These are surely his last moments. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

“Look what they eye unearthed,” leaning into the tip of my ear with the warmth and closeness of the coming waves, high tide approaching in the waning moon. “More secrets.” I replied. It was a question but also a statement— there was never such as this the luminescent trace of the glowing lava that was his force and might that I could not see for miles before he would even wander— first in twinkling stars and then later the wind itself and the birds, and then beneath the waves, like the quaking shake of a mighty oak anchored elsewhere and tied to the sea. “So you know.” I was hoping he would kill me before the next time I had to ever really know anything. He was the subject, and the predicate The wrong done, and the justice She was the pride and the prejudice But Judas brings the law Did you look in the box? No, I– [The Box Is The Box] –No, I haven't. Nearly three nights ago, a mysterious box arrived on the doorstep of an equally mysterious writer, who spends their time in isolation due to the often unannounced arrival of various ghosts, spirits, time travelers, and other figures by instant teleportation and other magical forms of transportation into their shabby New York apartment. Some of ya'll got so many air wick plug ins and scentci wax melts you don't know you smell like booboo. It's an illusion. You leave your house, You smell like booboo. I promise. Oh, God, I think I need a drink. Are you alright? Let me just–sit down for a second. Of course. My God. What's wrong. Look, i'm not supposed to say anything about this but. What's wrong? It's nothing, I'm just–I'm in a song. …what? A song! Is that all?! You don't understand. It's not a normal kind of song. It's– [takes a puff of inhaler] You wouldn't understand. Well what's so wrong about being in a song? Its not – a regular song–and it's not [gasping] finished! I still kind of wanted to be a comedian–but I knew I wasn't funny in the way that made sense to keep going and stand up there. I was still writing comedy, but I didn't know how to take myself out of it–the truth was, I was in a lot of pain. A lot of emotional pain that was becoming physical–and I didn't know what to do about it to break the barrier of nervousness and blank slate state of feeling the audience's perceptions of me more overwhelmingly than ever feeling myself. look at this song. I know huh. It's purple. Every time. It is purple. And what is that. Like a muted trombone? IS THAT A TROMBONE? Or a tuba? No, it has to be a trombone…becasue you can hear it slide– And that's what that sound is. What a sneaky rabbit. Super sneaky rabbit. So if i can see all this, I'm almost certainly sure the motorcycles outside and the slamming doors are meant to murder me. I'm sure that's what it is. You ever notice how being broke in New York makes you a bad person? Like, if you're broke, you're just automatically shitty. I never meant to be in New York broke. I never meant to be in New York, But I certainly never meant to be here and be poor, Poor in New York? Automatically a shitty person. Despite how you act. You can be a rich piece of shit— But the status is automatically “You got dough? Oh, alright. Carry on” That's the attitude in New York City. Crap people get by cause they got their hands on some money and the rules in New York say it doesn't really matter how you come by it, As long as you come by it. There's no real rules or real laws to it— Just “Get the money” Well god damn. This makes me nervous. I'm an artist. I've tried everything. I didn't mean to be the automatic enemy here. Of course not. But New York is a terrifying place to me, now, Cause I realized I can be a very sweet, very humble, very honest person— And that kind of shit doesn't matter here, really. It brings you no respect to be decent. It's about the money. So I'm a musician— which in New York also makes me like, Automatically not special, And I'm trying to just be a musician, and so naturally, I'm broke. Like broke in half. Like all my bills are late. But music is my solace. So I'm listening to music, And I'm listening to a song that is so beautiful, that I start to cry. The first time I heard it, it made me cry And I'm listening to it over, and it made me cry And it's so beautiful, and God is so beautiful And look at what God did, So I'm crying, And I don't even know what it is about the beauty of it that's making me cry, But it's making me cry, And New York hears me crying And New York goes “I'll give you something to cry about” And I open my email And there's a bill from my landlord reminding me how often I'm talked about due to my late payments— And I'm realizing I've been here two years and I still don't have any money, Even though I've been trying and trying And trying So now I'm crying for other reasons. Thanks a lot, New York. “I'll give you something to cry about” So I did. If there's anything worse than being black in a city that hates blacks— It's being broke in a city that hates broke people. So I haven't spent any money in awhile. Not even on little things, or things I need. I just stay inside, and work, and think And try and really try To figure out how to make money Without having any, or spending any. Cause you can have it, and spend it, but it's always a gamble. Maybe all I needed was a good cry. But now it's not for the right reasons I'm not crying cause something is so beautiful and look at what God did I'm crying because of what I'm sure is just the devil I'm crying for the wrong things Not because of something that's so very beautiful But because of something that's so very ugly With just a wave of the hand And the flick of each finger as it rolls into a crisp closed palm, A flick of birds fell to the ground, bursting with caws Below his stance, and in a flutter of feathers and wings, The evil master, unmoved and untouched, Untouchable in his weight and glory, simply only even mildly and barely smirks at all. He has defeated all and still somehow, not won. Some say it's sure to come, the thing that wants and gathers ties; Some say surely it is yet but withered and then sure again will come It has, five times, and barely waded, Waking in the midsts of my pure eye, The morning light and fog, aye? Ye, they remembers none but our Art, And I'm bound as sure by wing and force Is you to dozens of masses, And ships having sailed but one, Which I have flourished and kept And stocked with these, the masses And yea having spade, and having friends And having honor, there was none past kept and mine, sured; And wicked may as wicked be but evil none truer thou nones't had yet pured, and muted and gathered, I have, And woken and laid and barren and truths do'st tied, And there have been shooken and wait, And m faire'd and barred here, and hereforth My duty it is to forward, forward, my shallows For my shadow, For my golden hour has shined and now you, These caged shall fly, And these thoughts shall sing, And these hour conspired to miss my time daily, And these things, beytraying that— There have no times at all, These walls in holy temples kept, swaying and cadences, and wearing, and weary, And foreign and ayered, aye— and armored. And he, you, does not wish to know but also has known— and does not wish to see, but he, too has blinded, and does not wish to betray, and yet has been crowned, made with guilt and also Shattered, as it was, And shatters, as it came, the wave o'er all us and tide sinking under, and caves and rebels and heart laid bare to surf not suffer, Nor cap nor keeping, nor tied nor honor, No, honor her; No honor came and I have tied also, this tie to mine, and another, and another and another Now forward. Forward! Forward! Damn, Conan's monologues he going deep. Yeah, I guess. He's fine, right? Look, you don't need this. Just promise me. I am sorry. Mr Jimmy has it good, too good Little sister doesn't have a heart. But didn't know it Mister music made it in the industry, too hat Mister rager had a sip at dinner It was all dramatic Stars went falling Crashing down and All it is Ms. Martha Is mismanagement of energy All it is, Ms. Margret is a magnet And it hasn't happened badly since I had a handle on it But I still get sick of madness And I still get sick with city sickness Still, forget the dancer I was sitting on the show, In the audience With my mother, Oh the models, Dozens of them Blondes and ballet buns, the brunettes I was just a lost cause And I wanted it all, the tux and the bow tie I wanted you gone so I looked at it harder Until It became nothing but Clouds in the sky You were stardust I'm a comet Here comes crashing, Had to find the progress report Then I lost it Soggy in the sideways rain It was days and days Do you promise? That's a concept? Do you promise God will be alright, Cause I came running Sent them under cover Sent the men a message Send the man a hammer Sitting in a hammock No one homes the hostile If you don't have anything nice to say Then don't say anything at all And certainly don't come and go As often as you want to It's a game of control; you know The whites, when they still want to own you Somehow I'm all sub so honest, I just—wanted that But only for a man and never bow to another woman Even if on my honor I found us as equals And no one walks the earth as calmly As someone whose never had their lights out Or had their light put out Or their lights turned off Who are God now? Who's our God, man? Who's our God, Math. That's heavy weight, And if you want a biblical fate This is Fallon, And if you watch what you ate You cut calories And if you want the girl back Give it Californian And I'm not towrth much more Than the project housing, Or a handful of candy corn, Conan— But I phone in Oscars, Still no nuts for the rabbit, And if you wanted the bunker back— You can have it. I'm all hands down in a game of poker Heaven doesn't want it Gotta get drunk not once, but at all the goalposts, Gotta count one, not two, the show hosts Too few car parts Wicked, mazes, starfold, gazes Wishes, Martyred. (But pronounced mar-tired} V.O I think about jay Leno a lot. Lately, anyway. I don't know why. I like all the hosts. Somebody. Tell me why Dillon Francis looks like JD Vance. I think he's a clone. Tel me why I know who JD Vance is. They're clones. Tell me why. Back to the future here and now So. Where do you want to go? Anywhere but here. Anywhere but here is kind of far, are you sure you're up for it? Good one, doc Though head of the alumni chapter of the cult-within a cult—to which each African American cast member of Saturday night live is automatically inducted into— EDDIE MURPHY refuses to participate in the group's latest and most complicated ritual. Delivery. Uh, I didn't order any— Breadsticks. What. Breadsticks. I didn't order any— Just— The delivery man hands over the breadsticks. —take them. Oh…Kay. See ya. The delivery man reaches in and shuts the door himself. Uh… Lol is this the one where the mysterious breadsticks are delivered without ever being ordered, and then they end up being the best breadsticks in the world, but they don't know where they came from? Yes. I think so. Lol I bought a planner because so much I loved Joan Rivers, and I planned to fill it with all the places I should go— because keeping anything digital online was not only not working as far as remembering places I wanted or needed to be be, but it was dangerous, also. I was already being tracked, and I couldn't afford a new phone just yet. Eventually, but for now I was stuck to the same signal— which meant the same traces and the same trackers they had been limiting my under-the-radar mystique. As it were, somebody always knew where I was, and it was in the most unpleasant way so far—the only thing I really wandered was what made me so important anyway to begin with. I wasn't actually political in anyway, and still someone seemed to be trying to derail my life… or at least control it, neither of which was beneficial for me in the way that made sense. I wasn't having any fun, nor did I consider living indoors as payment— especially since indoors, there were also paid plants and stalkers, and now that I had begun to more meticulously document the things that were happening, it was easy to separate from delusions. I was actually being followed— but why? Either way, having a detailed. Calendar of places I could go, the ways to get there and even alternate functions within the same grid allowed more control than just staying in my apartment a sitting duck; that's how they were hurting me. They knew where I was— all the time, and it no longer made sense to fight it and try to make music under this kind of insane irritation; the music I was making wasn't the kind I wanted anyway, and whatever war they were fighting with m stark white girls motorcycles was simply not my war. I didn't have a war, and so there wasn't a fight, and so at the very least if I were going to be fucked with, it would have to be in public; that way I had more control to steer whatever was happening in my favor and collect the energy as mine instead of lost. I wasn't an insane person— but what had been happening at my apartment was insane, and so I left it with the understanding that these people worked and operated on a level of violence and ignorance I would never be able to comprehend; they were simply tools for the devil, which in any case, was always the lesser than God. However— because I was starting to figure out who I was, and that I had some sort of power, I knew that I was going to be attacked— because it seemed my power had at the very least not been figured out as to some kind of way to make somebody else money. I had been studying Michael Jackson and this was a key indication that the way his talent priovided a power which would be used as a service, he was very successful. His talent and training alone wouldn't have reapresented with such great reverence the ability to capture a global audience as such— but it was this power, almost as if it had been bottled up and altered, rebranded and sold and labeled with something everyone could not only love and understand, but by the hand of the media and its conglomerates, be hypnotized to worship, and this power simply put would not have been exactly what it was were it not for the eye of the media remaining in complete control of its distribution to the eyes and ears of the public. This thing which might have been the first of its kind but certainly not the last was in a sense model for modern superstardom— the live concert business had not sense much changed but built upon this super powered control of the masses by assimilation, spectacle, and of course the magic and illusion. But, and it it just so happened to perfectly brush up against my studies in esoteric knowledge that I happened to rub up against this— although nothing was of course by mere circumstance anymore, because whether or not I remained incognito was a wash, and I was being looked at by someone no matter what on the internet I did, or where I decided to go and in that sense was being fed these things, and yet with some Grace of God was allowed with it to be aligned with my own higher purpose in a way, I could observe that Michael Jackson was not in fact of course certainly just a dancer or singer or remarkable performer— he was truly a magician, and I was able to clearly recognize this language with with the energy that had used his vehicle for such a projection was speaking— not only this, I was able to clearly count out the markings and sigils and signs and symbols Michael was making in his movement; ancient arts, and magical symbols, traced so rapidly that it almost created a heat signature in a sense of the symbols that were being dictated, unknowing to the untrained eye. For the most part, I could only really assume that this is why these people were losing their minds— in his movements, Michael Jackson was literally carving ancient callings, glyphs and sigils I had so recently read about in magical studies that it was impossible not to laugh. This was in every sense of the word, ‘magic' but not in the normal way one assumes to be something unexplainable. Michael Jackson was casting spells to thousands of people at a time, in front of cameras and at high volume vibration, often times even implementing the use of light, color, and fire. These were not simple gatherings in mass for entertainment purposes— these were rituals, and in the modern day, still were or are— but I had noticed in a quick glimpse, from Michael Jackson 30 some odd years ago to Lady Gaga just having passed something like a week ago to an audience of the same size— that something was kind of wrong, now. The people had changed, and the specable had been done over and over, and the brainwashing of the masses had in a sense been almost complete— and so It wasn't some sense of confusion or unknowing the things that were happening to me in my own life and my own world— I too, was capable of these things, at that capacity, and had simply not been trained in the same sense of the ideal superstar, however— the things that were happening in my own life and in my own world were not difficult to grasp or understand— when one comes upon a power as such, it finds means to seek to control it and harness it for his own use and purposes. Perhaps it was the simple fact that in this way, in the way I get the dream had gone and the spectacle had been played out of the masses and the illusion was no longer as such— that the actual knowledge of distinct ancient wisdom that had been Michael Jackson's natural ability was distinguishable from that of Lady Gaga's training in the same formula, and that one did not equal the other, but in terms of business could equal to that as such as the masses had been manipulated to seek solace in these same things— and it was not illusion or grandiosity that I, even in my agingness, was still capable of these things; I had no doubt in my mind that I could sing and dance for two hours to audiences of hundreds of thousands— but this was not the question for the business or the media— the question was, would hundreds of thousands pay to see me, or rather— who was willing to front the means to hypnotize hundreds of people to become aware of me so that they would do such a thing. My talent and capabilities were undeniable— but my markatability might have been in question, because it was no longer simply a matter or chance or luck: the people chosen to figure such spectacle were chosen, hand selected and well trained to become media conglomerate superstars, even regardless of talent; perhaps this itself was the key indication that the world of the superstar itself had come to an end—it was no longer so much of a spectacle was worth it. Or, perhaps, because money had come between these ancient arts and symbols and languages being spoken by the superstars of old, that the magic in the literal sense had gone all the way away. The symbolism in the art had died, and so the singing and the dancing remained, but the God had gone out of it. Maybe that was the difference. The superstars of today were just the shell of the model that had been built on God, but the Godsense of it was no longer there— and so the magic no longer remained in effect, as the powers of magic that be are in all ancient arts and texts and forms attributive to The Source. Either way, I wasn't going to continue to be a sitting duck in my apartment in Brooklyn— there were too many indications that it had all been a setup from the shelter to the day I moved in, with the motorcycles and cars and CBS studios one block away. So the real and only question was, what exactly had been played at and who exactly was pulling the strings? I might at this point become a loose cannon: my son was estranged and as far as the people were concerned, I mostly hated New York— because the refined, clean cut and classy people I liked and wanted to be around saw me as the dirt and the grime I was fighting my way through just to simply exist— in my mind, this was a world that could be no more. I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress I met sparrow in a cage I like Sara in a dress I like Sara in a dress Keep writing I never thought I ‘d see the day Where i's taking lessons on Fallon From Michael Jackson That's ran That's a fan This is fame I'm insane I'm insane That's a fan Light the flame That's a fan. That's a fan. I like Sara in a dress I met sparrow in a cage I went up the rack, set the page on fire Nordstrom rack And I might take it back for the cash I like Sara in a dress Stay repressed Keep it dark If you kiss don't tell I will probably go to hell for just writing Try it In black ink, I got all spades, Ehy, Spare me the ridicule, the imbecile and I met Johnny in a cage I like Fallon in a dress, Obsessive, I'm dressed out Every day I leave where I do not live Where stalker crawl and haunt me Just to show the motorcycles Have desheveled my intelligence into Nothing And so with negligence, I leave the core of a rotting apple The foreign words of a doctor And You must call the king, says something far off But I wonder which one I wonder which one I so respect her honor That I no longer Follow my heart or my soul And I don't shallow But shatter to swallow So I let the sparrow Out of the cage I bought Sara A pair of pants And I haunt l Patrick Kirkpatrick in patches And haven't you read yet You're ready for forget the pageant? It hasn't happened yet! I love Sara in a dress I hate Fallon and his wife Keep the kids out if it Skull and crossbones Cross my heart and Really hope to the loveless Or else Someone might call my phone back It's on silent in my coffin Or wait— It's on vibrate. I'm obsessed with the way You're dressed And the name on your checks I guess I'm better for it I'll skip lunch if you think that's what's best And dinner, too If you deserve the best Then better have learned my lesson No sweat And to do, With you, Was then, Dinner through next supper All the love I had was Rubbed into something other than The glass I patted dry With microfiber With ever fiber of my being I want to be with you I should have just— Died, And then Did, and so next Life, Remind me not to Fall for it If i really wanted to know you,I would know you by now– If i wanted to have you? I would have had you already Nobody is a dancer after Michael Jackson. I just watched some shit that was like “What the fuck did I just see” The whole thing was just not right. It was-/ I was like First of all, it's Munich, 1997. I never really realized how terribly the world has changed; No cellphones, but the audience is lit, And the crazy thing is, you can tell that this is near the turn of the century because, when the camera is panning by the audience in the people, they're not looking directly into the camera or waving at the camera— not really. And clearly this is an all ages show, so there's children, so the interesting thing I'm finding out is that nobody's trained to look at the camera and wave and smile— except the babies on shoulders and shit. These kids— they're my age now, are the only ones that see the camera, and they look directly into the shit. Mi still can't do that, really— I'm theatrically trained. Haha If I see a camera, I try to act ‘natural' It's the weirdest thing to look at a camera and just start to work it. People at festivals now, the camera rolls by, Or the drone flies in, And they look deadass in the camera and start to work it. Not at this show. Munich 1997, I'm like “Damn, a lot of things is wrong with this” First of all, I love Michael Jackson, I look directly at this man, and I'm in my dirty peak so I have an instant— like a sex detector thing going on And I know people gave Michael a hard time when he was a live for being fruity and whatever But I'm looking at this dude, and I don't see fruit at all. I see 100% man. I see why people were mad at him. Cause I'm looking at this dude, 100% All I see is carnal, primal man. I'm like, “Yo, I see why they was mad at him” Because the camera kept panning to the audience And these people are losing their minds. They are coming out of themselves. They are UGLY CRYING, full out of body, Losing composure They don't know what to do. That's Michael Jackson. He's right there! And the place is huge so really besides these few hundreds of people in the front, Michael's just a speck, But he's working this audience like “Yo, you know who I am, I know who is me” And I'm realizing, that to these people That's their god. These girls are losing their minds m “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!l *crying inconsolably* Just UGLY crying Bitch, get it together . You all the way lost yourself Get. It together. She won't. This bitch. I can't get over this This one girl, They just keep going back to her Cause the whole show— And this is like 2 hours of pure non stop Michael Jackson, This girl, every time you see her, she's just ugly crying— And every time you see her Her cry is uglier and ugly I'm like “Damn bitch” “Daaaaaaang” So this is the first thing I see that is wrong. But there's a lot of things wrong here, Cause there's a lot of girls like this. There's just— hundreds of girls losing their minds, like, I've seen Beatles mania and thought that was crazy, Shit, I've even seen some people put out that kind of energy in the modern world for some dumb DJ's— That's their god— But THIS THIS Michael Jackson mania was mental illness That was hard to watch. That was people just Lost control. I'm thinking “Like goddamn. You— what?!” “AAagghhhhhhgahahahahahqhahahhahaha MICHAELl “These people are sick” But they are. And so is Michael Fame has gone too far, 1997; 12 short years before he died, by chance— So this is what I see, And then Michael starts dancing, And this— This is what I see; I see the only thing that can ever be what it was in that moment in time, as God being God: Michael Jackson. Shiny ass motherfucker, And so I'm watching this show, And all I see is a God being a man being a God being— Michael Jackson— And the whole thing is weird. But the worst part— Yes The worst part Was when, about mid show, Michael goes to do one of his slow, lovey doves songs, And like, this 6 foot 7 type body guard guy, Just pops up out of nowhere, Comes dead front and center to one of these little girls losing their minds, Runs up on her in an instant; You don't even have time to think— And just SNATCHES her— Snatches the bitch— “Ah!” then throws her up on stage with Michael— And he's still singing; this is his game, this is part of the show, he knows— But she doesn't know, And she's just lost her mind, She won't let go She's hugging and kissing on the dude, She's lost her mind, She's ugly crying She's on the floor, She's kissing his hand She's really lost her good goddamn mind— And they pan out to the audience, And all the girls that didn't get picked Are like WHY NOT MEEEEEEEREEEEE?!? THE UGLY CRIES ARE EVEN UGLIER NOW, They're like “Wh—what?” You don't know?! “WHY NOT ME” They're holding each other crying, Michael's just doing his thing, He's unphased, He's trying to play along; He's a professional like a motherfucker; He's just— keeps singing And this girl is just, Losing it, so at this point, it's weird, She's crazy batshit lost her mind all the way, Won't let go of Michael, kissing his face while he's singing, He's kind of unreceptive to it, now just looking out at the audience, almost not even looking at all Just cold as fuck actually, Like she's not there, kissing his face Cold as fuck— And then another bouncer dude— An even bigger one in a blue suit, comes and tears her off of Michael Cause clearly this has gone too far or whatever And I'm thinking “What in the fuck did I just see” Blue suit dude just snatches, Just— He has to tear her off of him! She's kicking and screaming and getting dragged off stage Michael's just: singing. YO. Then they dragged her back stage. Where did she go?! WHO DID SHE BECOME?! WHAT IN THE FUCK DID I JUST SEE?!? WHAT. 1997. You can't do that shit anymore! You cannot snatch bitches like that. I seen. Watch the video. Tell me what's wrong with it. It's disgusting. Not the snatching, Not the— Like, that was weird But the screaming and the crying and the— Like okay, the snatching was bad— But I'm like … ..:: …. Now I see why they was mad. Don't ever forget he was once— A dark skinned little boy, And in his genetics his whole life is still this thing That some hate. But people loved him; they loved him that hard— Screaming, ugly crying hard. I think in that moment you know someone was like “he must be stopped!” And it seems like yesterday was a year ago But I don't want let anybody know… Cause everybody wants something from me now— And I don't want to let them down. My life is over. New York City looks so small from the top of a skyscraper. What are you doing. Then again— my thoughts lately have been grandiose. Back market, eh? What's this for? You need a burner. I have three. Here, have another. For someone whose supposed to be entirely off grid, I'm admirably reachable. Clever vocabulary. Something has to be clever about me, doesn't it? Does it? It must be. Or else. [both men are speaking casually over the delicate process of loading rare guns; some of which appear to be antique, and some—almost even unearthly , as if from somewhere besides our own planet. But, you could say what planet this is at all, actually— this bunker, with no windows and no doors, is apparently hidden in a subterranean layer— the location, unknown. The men seem calm but also quite tired and weary, and seem to know each other well. We can assume they've probably been friends for years. Sickle cell anemia. Does that mean I'm going to die. Animus, I quite like whatever that is, Google. ;) don't mention it. Honestly, you might as well. What. I can't help you with this. What. I don't think there's anyone who can. Beg your pardon. Please, don't beg— but uh… [the doctor pats his patient on the shoulder] Do take care. Gee, doc! I'll try! You should do that. What. Try. The doctor leaves seemingly in some kind of hurry, trading his lab coat for a trench coat and closing the door behind him. The other man pauses for a second in the silence of the weird linoleum room, then ponders on the coat for a moment before walking up to the coat rack, putting on the coat, and then walking out the door himself; as he begins to shut the door, he quickly decides also to take the fedora that was sitting atop the coat rack, placing it on his head before he walks out the door himself, shutting it behind him quietly. You got anything to eat in here? Cereal…some rabbit food ina the drawers, there. Oh, you have salad. That sounds nice. No, rabbit food. [the man presents a large bag of weird brown dry food from the crisper drawer.] …pellets. For the rabbits. How do rabbits get in here? …I don't know. And— more importantly— where did you get rabbit food for them? If I told you Amazon, would you believe me? The man just winces and places the bag back into the crisper drawer. Now listen, I um— If you want cereal, the milk is powedred… I don't— and that's disgusting— but listen— [the man cocks a loaded gun and admires it intensively] (Dismissively) —I'm listening. I've been meaning to tell you something. Tell me what. It's important. Oh, You couldn't have used one of my four phones. Look, it's— You know I wasn't expecting company. Well— You should sit down. The man squints, beginning to listen more attentively. … …really. I'm holding a loaded gun; there are at least three more within arms reach if I do sit, you know. I know. But I should sit? One baby to another says, “I'm lucky to've met you.” Maybe you should. Not all my bad but all my might, And all my mind, The fire, The light. …business or personal. [beat] Both. {Enter The Multiverse} What are we watching?! Shhhhhh! Shut up. What is this? Some.. Sshhh. Shit, I don't know. Sit down. You don't know. SHH it just came on Shh. Ok. When? Uh… (Nobody really seems to know how long it's been. The show just happened to come on; no one remembers how, or why— or even when— But the show is intense as it gets; And it just keeps getting weirder and deeper.) {Enter The Multiverse} I'm transfixed on your soul And it seems I aspire To what has transpired here, Your unremarked and the umpire The spider veins and the way it washes. And watches and waves, and waters over you, And still I seem to think you've won another, Strum to thumb of you. And still I wake to gather here The odds and whats And the twists and turns and the Troublesome you've number some Or stuttered, stumbled conciousness. And withered branches Aces lie and house of cards And aging scoundrels— There you are, the..: Nevermind. Don't belittle my ways if, In the end my thinking may be correct As dumbfounded as I have shifted my lottery bonds tied to none, There ye are again who aren't I, And never were, And weathered now, as I, bound to Struggle under her might, Nothing I was, and nothing I am And nothing I came from but to barter Oh hard love, I only found my kings upon thrown As cast out of another by her likeness, Peace and pale and primed as it was, And wanted for love, As I was not— And then, the gates had opened And I, preaching withered, Gathered my arts and my minds And my eyes, and my thrones, Buried my ark and though not my bones The shallow waking peaks of pride And there you gathered, all as huddled sheep to mine, The cost of war, but certain therefore honored as I have, Happened went, came and untied, shattered Hating all I am and all my dark and all my eyes and all my brown Because you came and went, a baby born to as nothing was but beauty and yet having been gifted such life, Departed! Soon, I wake shattered and with none as it had began, in my time and in time there laid there none, But fortune seeks to favor, as ye are saying brave and yet I neither beg nor make to differ, Shall you come again in part, And in this time as shadows, as shadows As hating and wearing and waging, And shattered I, I pardon, Knowing not they seeking I, And I having none at all but one, As forgotten I shall came And went And followed this, The time y'i call now, And ours and ours, And yours and yours, And mine and mine, Though as one are also, Common not, And waking yet to find, These things making have gone into yer Another of ours, world, Another of our dozens, Shines, Another of our gathered, wit, and waking Though true to fortune, none us have gathered And have embarked to truth, The waking I have come, Another, and another, and another Departed. And yet, I bury my words having weakened to that which is this, Ye have no fear and lest no fortune in these words, For having I to come and gone, since they times In words to make this a language I or neither other Does not speak here, and almost never, And this yours time past, Has come and gone And come and gone And come and gone again, So long so I too have parted but not yet Unfolded as does my nature, As God does. Belittle this, you waking fools, As to this you pity though divine, Is unlike any other And steep remarked in gold and with chimes and words That ye here no often or either now, or in mine speak. Amen …can I go now? You are dismissed. C'cxell Soleïl, aka DJ Ū is an American DJ + Producer, Multi-Instrumentalist, Playwright, Poet, Comedian, Novelist & Filmmaker. She is best known for her unique vocal riffs, Clever Lyricism & Philanthropically Inspired Freestyles and her flagship venture [The Festival Project.™] [Ï A M B ī C], a freestyle studio mixtape recorded in Los Angeles, (Official Release: TBD) inspired the adaptation of a staged musical version for Broadway, and a concurrent multimedia (TV/Film) series and ongoing saga as part of The Festival Project ™ Brand. Inspired musically by an ‘Ultra American' experience of Racially, Binary Ambiguity, and Synesthetic Exploration, her reflective melodies signature sound provides a philosophical dissection of American culture through a careful and inquisitive mastery of the English language, and emergence of world sounds through music brings about ‘A New Era in Nature', and clarifies the establishment of the newest wave in human evolution: Unity Through Music. L E G E N D S What if I just want to be alone in the dark Alone in the dark Alone in the dark Bones Duggar was a long, handsome zombie Bones once was a very tall man Not great and tall, as he stands But average, Grand as it were, his status. Everything's black My heart My pants My home My mind Everything hurts But you don't understand that Like I can Calm the commercial holidays for a moment Who gets the card? Get our your hard earned My head hurts Slam the door man; You can't control thoughts With a wombat Murderer Now that's a hard concept to catch When you haven't a soul When you haven't a card Or a car Or a cat I think I'm vanilla. I always thought of myself as a super kink Like a freaky, freaky bitch. So I got on this app. This app is better then Tinder. Yes. But it is not for the faint of heart. No, sir. They have a test, I'm like “ooh, I like tests” So I take the test. The test was not at all… As I'd hoped. First of all, It was hard. It was not a quiz; It was a TEST And I failed. I realized “Oh my god, I don't like any of this stuff” I am not about that! No! Yuck! Gross. “I think I might be vanilla.” I might be vanilla. I want my hair pulled back like a leash And my arms tied up Like I'm being arrested Without being read my rights. — I want your hands on the back of my neck [breathe] Reach around to my Mortimer's apple Put the lights out, Adam. I want the lights cut off. I want the bills piled up so the phone don't work I want the habit back on Don't talk to nobody I told you, I'm coming No, God! That's dumb! Show me why I'm off all alone with a rattle so bad It's just segmented thoughts, colors and sounds I can't make with all the plugins in the kindgdom of chaos?! I WANT KINGS, AND KINGS WANT BLONDES— I WANT KINGS, AND KINGS WANT BLONDES I WANT KINGS, AND KINGS WANT BLONDES —but the one who could love me is God, And I guess he's not coming. The denial turns to tears, Not songs no more My womb is empty And the sun has turned into Not what I wanted But not my fault We got caught in the land of Cutting costs And processed morsels At 400 pounds And that's where I found What I thought was love But it turns out That it just turns up In the whole form of a person And that's why I got the collar, caller But really I'm no one's lover So I Do what I want I don't hang up on God But he don't got a body And I need someone to love/ Fuck me Please God Don't turn the lights off I'll pull the clock back Just like foreskin, god i want your skin Draped over mine in a warm swath Probably run a hot back Cause the next stop is a closet The line doesn't really move for the Doesn'tMatterhorn. some people are starting to doubt if it's even a ride. Others just admire it for its eloquence as a metaphor. Johnny! You scared me! Aha. Where did you go?! Nowhere— fast! Alright well— Money when you know I have it But I haven't really Paid attention to the never ending Digits never coming in but Simply, there's a secret, Sonny Someday you'll get lessons, honey. Much to find and much to serve and Surf us up Piñata's bout the burst But here comes Vesuvius (POW) Everyone was gone in an instant (Vapor) Had a good laugh that night in the pantheon; Everything's past, and the mortals They kept on running But i didn't want go, God Putting on a show then I blow up Just like the mountain Found her Now I got a broke back husband (hope so) To tell, don't ask Don't show up if you just get lost But I'm probably in the back with a bottle back mountain Now you got a real horse pack. Trip Girl keep camping What was the map with the mask and the Fashion? Pass. I put sugar on the rim of the glass With my eyes half closed And my ass clenched fast shut I'm an alcoholic Don't involve the God I got lost in the mall with the —- UGHHHHHHHH! Hello. Uh, yes— hi. what up. Mirror mirror. Uh…nothing. You're lost? No. You look lost. Oh? Disgruntled. I am that. You're lost? I'm not lost. My friend is lost. His phone is dead. You lost each other. Sort of. Continuity conniption I nipped an eclipse And he picked his nose For a full ass minute Sitting at the stop sign That's a gobstopper's worth in our time Pull all the clocks back, Pull the fool over, You just got fined It was Friday for nothing I was in the hatchback, Scratch that Sour patch Should have called Pat back Now I'm just a Cool 48 in the ring with a date And the cashapp Continuity construction I want a husband! Fuck that. I want a clean cut plus one Since I can't have Helmet, Elmo, Or Hatchetman; Tears of a Clow…no, Wait I lost focus Half finished album Got 6 tracks But I knew it was 12 from the get go Prob‘ly should have knocked off the showrunner; Nah, I'm sure I had that coming Hashtag, undon Could have been you, too If the cash came through Now it's hard times Hardwired Sitting on a hi wire, Little white liar, liar Wait I made Katey Sagal (Fire) Cut off her hair (Fire) Went to the hall of fame with the framed sunglasses Asked for her autograf, But she walked off So I shot her with a bottle/ can, But she ducked, popped back up With the brass knuckles Surfboard Good for a chuckle and a fuck So I asked for her number All that on a Sunday at Gelson's market. Christ, almighty I miss Walmart, I hit hard times. So many places to run, But not many places to hide I think I want to die here I think i want to die. City of corruption… Lay it out and lay it over City of corruption… no, it's not a choice It's a black tie function Right in that very moment Seth Meyers kind of became my defacto personal hero. “Never meet your heroes” Or perhaps it was just his writing team, or the fact that maybe even without there even being anything set in stone or solid at all, [redacted] itself seemed to have a price over my head– It all seemed to make sense; in fact, all the crazy things i was experiencing made more sense than it didn't. But after what felt something like between defeat and maybe even one day really getting justice for all the things that had happened to me in new york– it was that, at best; That without actually meaning it, by all probability, the opening monologue described what in perfect sense the thing that had been happening to me: hundreds of motorcycles and cars riding around in circles for over a year, any time i tried to work or sleep–and then, when I finally tried to reach out to find an attorney that would help, I was made to feel crazy for it. In a way, it was the perfect indication that it had all been some sort of sick game, and that I was more right than wrong, and being set up to appear, sound, or look crazy–but I wasn't. I had been under attack for nearly two years, and when I tried to reach out, my heart raced and my voice cracked, and I sounded crazy and desperate–but what was happening was very real; and now I knew where I was. As it turns out, New York's corruption was more common knowledge to everyone else before it was to me: New York was a common place for fucked up, dirty, low-down mind games: and this was my lesson in that. Seth Meyers in reality had nothing to do with it–and really I only meant to watch Kimmel over my afternoon tacos. But still, though it hadn't entirely anything to do with me, the opening statements rang true to exactly what I had experienced; I was made to lose my mind, only to have everyone around me tell me it was something wrong with me–but it wasn't. Something was wrong with the city, and the building management, and the people around who were making it all to be some kind of mental disorder or problems with my mind–in reality, it was 2 years of being in the center of a speedway, and all the time i'd lost because of it adding to the stress, and the angst, and the depression that resulted. Moo. Moo… Moo. Moo, sir. I'll kill you. You promise? I want to. Don't get me excited over nothing; If this isn't the exit, please take this tease To the left, dear Moo, cow My honor Level one, and brother, you've got nothing Flip the coin and landed on your headache Betting on your helmet Standing on my cock, i'm taller (Not a rooster) But my ops are rooting for you, No informants, Dont you know I was a collar, all along? I was a shot calling, Cop calling Kiss-and-tell all as the night goes on. But oh, I brought you a dollar bra Oh, I bought you for all of a dollar And oh, I'm so much taller, Standing on my cock But i'm not but ten feet tall You know, you wrote that Should i open the book, or close that Caught that cat, owl and As i soft spoke at Every broken model Broken bottle for the thoughts you owe Across the scatters skies and no one ever knows When you're realling coming over Come on, I'm on the pornhub Just to pick up another one Go on, and rub the bottle One more once, To call the Bubbles. Damn. Come. (The Monkey obeys) You should see Michael in all of his godform You won't recognize him at all if not by the eyes When you follow home Believe me, this not comes close to it; The one you wanted The world you jumped to but were just short of Call her back Oh no, you're wrong It's another song A pin up girl And the wrong number Okah. Okah, Pablo. Time can be altered, changed or effected presently in any omnidirectional plane by engaging certain acts or synchronicities within multidimensional parallels or adjacent realms in time and or space respectively. –the reverse quantum simulation theory. Does anyone else smell blood I hate wedding days suits and tuxedos No, I don't know you I'm just here to sound the hundred drums Of the once before us (The ones to come) Then, there we were and I didn't want to admit Again, I was caught into the ghost of the rapture Or the holy hour, No aux chord Show the holy one Just how old you are On these sacr d lands and a holy grounds Now I want here half an ounce to smoke And there were drowning orchestras in all of the hearts And all of the markets, The market the marker And all of the sins of the savior The maytyr Did you remember not to notice not to know him Were you sure with words you were for nickelodeaon! I was supposed to hold on to, Supposed to hold on to Suddenly, it's summer. And always our own are under the weather There was no other wise man the wind. Lee the one came The site came and went and then the songs went left The songs went left; Again, the songs went left Did you win at wintergreen Well, God, I didn't know gym was a game. I didn't know guns we're just portals to worlds unknownn I didn't know gossip was golden What all else didn't I know It wasn't for here! It was fourth flour And in the final hour of the battle I commenced to summon All the gods and all the lords and all the flowers All the worlds of oceans and the Remember, this The remembrance It may not matter to some, What matters to most But until summer comes, I'm still up under the rail And practically it's spring, for the next two weeks I'm all berries and cream and whatever you wanted. Tormaline, emerald and onyx, the fox said And fox says its west when instead it's quite under what of the reporter's offer? Comes down a little to none What of the offer Comes down from a billion to one A billion to one I'm on TV so it's really just a one way screen Either way, I don't think he likes me much I don't think he likes me much I'd rather die than to fall in love even one more time And to keep on just never being loved Never beingbloved {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

Com Rita Azevedo Gomes, Eran Riklis

College Remedial Human Sexuality Course: Part 1Barkley summer semester course for those who flunked Human Sexuality 101.By zachattack163 and adapted for this platform. Listen to the Podcast At Explicit Novels.Alexis walks the short distance from student parking, to the Health Sciences building. It's late in June and the campus is almost a ghost town. She‘s glad of that, because she doesn't want anyone to know she's having to make up a course in order to enroll in fall classes and begin her sophomore year. Why had her fundamentalist mother's repressed sexuality become her damn disability! At least now that she's living with her aunt & uncle, in this college town; she can start learning, and unlearning.But remedial human sexuality? Why the heck is that class so hard to comprehend? Maybe if she was a slut, then she'd at least have some familiarity and practice? The virgin college student wants her secret kept that way.She walks into the designated room. It's a lecture bowl with seating for 200, but less than a dozen are in the room. She sees them scattered down near the front.“Good afternoon students.” The male & female professors greeted the freshmen. The small assortment of students sat in the lecture bowl, mostly fidgeting and looking at the floor. The male professor pressed a button near the chalk board, which remotely locked the doors. Then he began handing out the syllabus as the female professor wrote some names on the board.“My name is Doctor Phoebe Garza, PhD. Our other instructor is Doctor Antonio Garza, my husband of 7 years.”“Let's be honest about why you're here. For whatever reasons, you didn't attain the required human sexuality credit during your first two semesters. In order to enroll for fall classes, you'll need to pass this one.”The pit of the lecture bowl room was reset without the customary classroom tables, lectern, and common furnishings. Instead, the instructional aids included; a chaise lounge, a Leather sofa, rectangular ottoman, and a sturdy oak table and several chairs aligning the wall, below the chalkboard. The middle of the pit also had what looks like a 12 by 12 foot gymnasium tumbling mat.On the front row of the student seating, on the pit floor, the usual desks were replaced by four upholstered sofas in a semi-circle, with large plush bath blankets covering the seat cushions.“To help you, we reviewed your academic records and with the help of guidance counselors, we determined that kinetic learning might be a more effective mode for you.” That is why you were given this opportunity to fulfill your requisite credit with this alternative class. If you don't get your Human Sexuality credit through this class, you can retake the standard one oh one course early next month.In the same way we employ lab sessions for many of our science classes, we're going to add that component to this particular experimental course offering. Many of you probably had learning experiences where the textbook words came to life, only after you put the theories to practice in a science lab.So, the two of us studied some clinical papers from an Amsterdam university, and we collaborated to develop this teaching concept. But instead of using lab animals to study behavioral concepts, All of us will become the lab specimens for this attempt to bring all of you academically, back up to the rest of the upcoming sophomore class.”Mrs. Garza continued; ”It's not often that I get to teach with my husband. He is a research scientist. He rarely teaches a college class to undergrads. But this class is also part of an ongoing research, so we're all going to learn a lot, this summer session."Now class today we are going to begin our Human Sexuality introduction," said Mrs. Garza, the very attractive human sexuality professor.Mr. Garza now addressed the 12 students for the first time, still having a slight accent of his Barcelona upbringing. "Now, before you joined this class, you were required to sign a form, that doesn't allow you to tell anyone what happens, in this class. So, has everyone brought in their signed forms and documents to class, today?" asked Mr. Garza.All the students nodded their heads to show that they had their forms. "Well that's good" said Mrs. Garza, "Now, the reason we asked you to get those forms and documents signed; is because this is to prove that you have passed your eighteenth birthday and because this is going to be a very different kind of human sexuality class, from the kinds of classes you have been in before." The females all had signed notes from their physicians, affirming they are all on birth control pills for at least 6 weeks.Session One"Now we want you all to be very comfortable in the lab. Usually, labs require special protective gear. But for our labs, the opposite is true. And we want you all to become comfortable with your sexuality and we feel that the best way for all of you to do this is with full participation in the class," said Mr. Garza."In order for everyone to fully participate we are going to require everyone in the class to remain naked at all times while you are in this classroom," Mrs. Garza told the students.The class all began to talk at once protesting the fact that they were going to have to be naked in class. "Now calm down class I know all of you may be uncomfortable with being naked in front of your fellow classmates, but believe me this will help you become more comfortable with your sexuality," said Mr. Garza "and to make all of you feel more comfortable Mrs. Garza and I will also be staying naked for the duration of the class also." With that both Mr. and Mrs. Garza began taking off all of their clothes. Once they had finished undressing they stood before the class completely naked and needless to say every eye in the classroom was focused on the two naked teachers in front of them, or at least on certain parts of them. Every male student's eyes were focused on Mrs. Garza' large 36double D breasts, while all of the female students were focused on Mr. Garza's large penis hanging between his legs which was about seven inches long even in its flaccid state. Both of the professors had trimmed their bushes, but were not completely bald."Now as you can see we are perfectly comfortable with our nudity, and we want you to be as comfortable with your nudity as we are with ours," Mrs. Garza told the students. “When you've removed all clothing, leave it there and come sit down on the sofas, so we can begin the lab.”"Now get those clothes off. Come on let's get a move on," Mr. Garza ordered the students. This was quickly followed by all of the students beginning to remove all of their clothing. Some of the students struggled with taking off their clothes because they continued to pay attention to their naked teachers at the front of the classroom. Eventually all of the students were naked in the classroom, most of the students were shyly covering their genitals."All right; now that all of you are naked we are going to go over the first thing that happens to begin the sexual cycle; arousal," said Mr. Garza."Who can tell me what the signs of arousal are in a man?" Mrs. Garza asked the class. Devon, a slightly nerdy looking student raised his hand and started to reveal what looked like an impressive erection he was trying to hide under his hand."Yes Devon?" Mrs. Garza said."Well the most obvious signs of arousal in a man is, that his penis will become hard and erect, which is known as an erection," said Devon "another sign of arousal in a man is that his testicles will swell as they prepare to release semen.""Yes, that is correct, Devon," said Mrs. Garza. "Now, there are many different ways to get a man aroused and cause him to have an erection. The first and most obvious way, which I'm sure many of you young men are experiencing, is seeing a naked woman. I'm sure that since I took off my clothes many of you began to have an erection, which was only increased when your fellow female classmates also took off their clothes; so you should not be ashamed about having an erection right now.""As you can see I am also beginning to produce an erection from seeing my wife and all these lovely young ladies naked," said Mr. Garza, which prompted many of the female students to look at his hardening penis, which was now pointed almost straight out and had increased in both length and thickness."We will discuss other ways you can cause arousal, but for now could someone tell me about what arousal looks like for a woman," Mr. Garza asked. Michelle, a brunette girl of average height raised her right hand, while she continued to use her left hand to try and cover her full C-cup breasts."Yes Michelle," said Mr. Garza."Well when a women gets aroused, her nipples get hard and erect, and sometimes her breasts swell so that they appear fuller and her vagina begins to get wet," Michelle said nervously."That is correct, Michelle," said Mrs. Garza "I'm sure many of you young ladies are beginning to feel several of these sensations. Now, women also get aroused by seeing a naked man, particularly if he is sporting an erection, but it usually takes slightly more to get a woman aroused. Women need more intimate sensations to become fully aroused, such as kissing and caressing from their partner.""We are now going to begin the rest of our discussion about how men and women become more aroused," said Mr. Garza. "I notice many of you are subconsciously fidgeting. Part of our discussion about arousal will involve talking about masturbation, so if any of you feel the need, we would encourage you to masturbate during this discussion. If that makes any of you feel uncomfortable, change your attitude. It's important that none of you do or say anything which hampers another student's learning experience.""Now the completion of arousal and the sexual cycle is when you experience an orgasm," said Mrs. Garza. "For men, this results in the ejaculation of semen from the penis. I'm sure most of you young men have experienced this sensation, through masturbation, but it is even better if you have a partner bring you to orgasm. I am now going to demonstrate this to all of you, while using my husband as an example."Then Mrs. Garza approached her husband, and began to make out with him. After she had kissed him for a while she reached down and grabbed his penis with one hand, which was now fully erect. As she stopped kissing her husband for a moment she turned back to the class and said, "Now, I am going to stroke my husband's penis, which is commonly known as a hand job. Now girls, you want to make sure the man is feeling pleasure from this and it is not too dry and causing painful friction." Mrs. Garza continued to stroke her husband's penis while the students, especially the female students, stared intently at her pleasuring her husband. A young girl named Erika, began shaking a bit from an orgasm as she had one hand between her legs and the other hand pleasuring one of her nipples on her large D-cup breasts. Mr. Garza began to moan louder as his wife stroked his penis."Now students, you will notice that Mr. Garza is moaning louder this means that he is probably close to having an orgasm. Ladies, another thing you should notice is that a man's testicles will keep drawing closer to his body. This is another indication that the man is about to cum. Now Mr. Garza should cum soon so I especially want you ladies to pay attention so you know what happens when a man ejaculates." Mr. Garza began breathing and moaning very loudly and suddenly began ejaculating, having a very good orgasm. Mrs. Garza continued stroking her husband's penis until his orgasm was completed. As Mr. Garza sat down to relax, Mrs. Garza again addressed the class."Now you have seen what happens when a man has an orgasm. Ladies, one thing for you to know is that if you are giving a man a hand job you want to make sure you continue stroking his penis until his orgasm is complete. You don't want to stop right as he starts ejaculating, because that will cause his orgasm to stop sooner, and you want to make sure you give him as good of an orgasm as you can. Any questions class?"Alexis a shy, short girl with nice B-cup breasts and long nipples raised her hand. "Yes Alexis?" Mrs. Garza asked."What was that white stuff coming out of his penis?" Alexis obviously had next to zero information on human sexuality. She just couldn't comprehend the male anatomy from the textbooks, last fall. So what happened to Mr. Garza totally confounded her."That is a very good question, Alexis. That is called semen. When a man is having sex with you and he ejaculates inside your vagina his semen carries sperm to your eggs, and may cause you to become pregnant. For those of you ladies who have never experienced having a man ejaculate inside you it is an amazing feeling and you will all experience it in this course."Now Alexis was starting to understand the textbooks! Her fundamentalist private school didn't teach sex ed, and her mother told her that sex is nasty. Perhaps that's why her father left the marriage when Alexis was just 2, and she never knew him?Mrs. Garza looked back at her husband. "Honey, are you ready to continue with the lesson?" Mrs. Garza asked her husband."Yes, I am ready to continue now," Mr. Garza replied."Now we are going to show what happens when a woman has an orgasm." Mrs. Garza climbed on top of the table and her husband came over behind the table, facing the students, and carressed her legs."Now boys before you begin directly pleasuring a women's vagina. You can start by kissing a woman's neck and once you do that for a while. You can move down to her breasts. Now each woman is different so make sure that you pay attention to her signals to see whether she is enjoying what you are doing. I know that my wife's breasts are very sensitive and she loves it when I pay attention to her breasts. What I like to do is kiss around the edge of my wife's breasts and slowly make my way to her nipples. This usually drives her crazy.""Oh babe stop just talking about it and get over here and kiss me," his wife said in anticipation. Mr. Garza then leaned over and began kissing his wife while reaching one hand down to fondle her very large breast. He continued to kiss his and eventually broke apart from her lips to start kissing her neck. He continued kissing his way down her body making his way toward her breasts. He started kissing one breast while groping the other and Mrs. Garza started moaning louder. He then began paying more attention to her nipples, which only increased her arousal. The students started becoming even more excited as they watched their teacher pleasure his wife. The arousal became too much for a couple of the boys and they began ejaculating into their hands. Mr. Garza turned back around to address the class."Now class I am about to show you what is commonly known as fingering a woman. I'm sure several of you young women know what this is like and so I especially want the young men to pay attention so they know what they are doing with a woman. Now the first thing you want to do is make sure the woman has a very wet vagina. You do this by rubbing your finger along the lips of a woman's vagina." He then demonstrated this on his wife, which brought about a very happy moan from her."Now once you have determined that the woman is properly aroused you can insert your finger inside of her. Now you usually want to start with only one finger but you can add more fingers depending on what the woman wants." He then inserted his fingers inside his wife and began pleasuring her."Now in order to make sure a woman reaches orgasm you want to keep paying attention to what she likes. The best way to know if a woman has reached her orgasm is that you will feel her vaginal muscles gripping your finger or if you are having sex you will feel them gripping your penis. This is an amazing thing to feel especially if it happens while you are ejaculating."Mrs. Garza then began experiencing an orgasm and her legs shook with pleasure. This final sexual display was too much for the rest of the students as most of them began having orgasms of their own, including Erika arriving at her second orgasm of the class time.Class DismissedAs his wife began coming down from her orgasm Mr. Garza addressed the class one last time."Now I want y'all to think about what you learned today and if you are comfortable enough you can put some of what you learned into practice. However, our class time is up, so you can all get dressed and we'll call it a day.”As the students began dressing, Mr. Garza added one last instruction; “Remember that if you're found to have disclosed any information to anyone outside this classroom, You'll be removed from the group and given an F for the course. This class is a success only if you feel safe and respected by everyone. We intend to honor that trust. Is everyone okay with that?”After all the students had dressed, Mrs. Garza pressed the button to unlock the classroom doors. After the 12 students left the classroom, Antonio walked over to his gorgeous wife who was still naked, sitting with her bare ass on the end of the wooden table. "Well that was an interesting lesson. I think I'm really going to enjoy this class," he told his wife as he pushed a lock of her hair behind her ears and began to kiss her. She spread her legs for him."Yeah I bet you loved having all those beautiful, young, naked girls staring at your big cock while they pleasured themselves as I stroked you, especially that one girl with the big tits that had an orgasm while I was stroking you," his wife responded as he began to kiss down her neck. She also reached down to find that his penis was getting hard again."Yes, it was fantastic to see those young women naked and I'm sure you enjoyed seeing all those young men stroking their cocks as they stared at your big breasts." To emphasize his point he then leaned in and started kissing and fondling his wife's large breasts. She continued to pull on his hard cock as she responded."Yes several of them did have very nice cocks. That nerdy kid, Devon, looked like he was packing some serious meat, and did you see the big head on that one kid's cock? You know how much I love a big cock head," as she rubbed her thumb over her husband's large cock head."Well then I guess it's a good thing I can provide that for you. Are you ready for it?" Antonio asked Phoebe, as he rubbed his finger across her slit, feeling how moist she was for him."God yes! Fuck me now, please!" He reached down and grabbed his very hard cock and pushed it into his wife."Oh yes; your pussy feels so good, baby; I love how it grabs my cock.""That's because your cock is so big. I love how deep it goes inside me," she moaned in response as he continued to thrust into her."I can feel your cock pulsating inside of me. Are you still thinking about those sexy, beautiful, young girls, babe?""I might be," he responded with a twinkle in his eye and grin on his face, "like you're not thinking about those young men and their hard young cocks?""Okay, you're right. Watching them stroke their young cocks earlier, turned me on so much. I'm still so turned on that I think I'm going to come very soon.""Good baby, because I'm about to shoot another huge load into your pussy," he moaned into her ear as he continued thrusting into her while groping her huge breasts."Oh god, yes! Make me feel that big dick spurting deep inside me. Oh god, I'm cumming!" Phoebe squealed as she wrapped her arms and legs around her Antonio, as she pushed him deeper inside of her as she had another very powerful orgasm. He also began to moan louder, as he emptied his balls deep inside his wife. They both began to calm down from their mutual orgasms. Antonio looked deep into his wife's eyes, and brushed her hair as his dick began to soften inside of her."Yes this is definitely going to be a great summer," he said to her.She looked back up at him and simply said, "Oh yeah."Session TwoBethany was the last to arrive, but she was still on time. She took more time to wax her mound, and she had to do it a second time, because her dyslexia led to misunderstanding the package instructions.She hopes none of her teammates and dorm sisters find out she's in this course. She's rather active, sexually, but doesn't do well learning from textbooks. She relies on her study groups in these ‘book-learning' classes. She knows human sexuality very well, but does very poorly on written tests.All the students gradually proceeded to enter the classroom. When all were present, Professor Phoebe Garza pressed the remote door lock, and the students were instructed to remove their garments, and find a seat on one of the four upholstered sofas facing the front. The professors also stripped and left their items behind the leather sofa, in the front corner of the floor. The two professors were standing at the front of the classroom, completely naked. The students all undressed and left all personal items in the student desks, then came down to sit in the sofas, until all their classmates were seated on a sofa, ready to begin.Mr. Garza commented to his fellow professor, that no one dropped the class, and they all showed positive signs of eagerness to get the most out of the class.Several students had much less pubic hair today. The gals all had paid more attention to grooming, cosmetics, and hair accessories. Some wore earrings or short necklaces. The guys were all clean, shaven, and smelled great. The gals smelled fresh and flowery. No one came late, and two of the students were waiting at the door even before the professors had the classroom unlocked. The professors noted the good hygiene and were glad they didn't need to address the topic, openly.The class participants are as follows.Professors:· Phoebe Garza – sports a 36 Double D bust with a buxom figure. A thirty-eight year old with a PhD.· Antonio Garza – packs a 7 inch flaccid cock which surpasses 9 inches when rigid. He's a Spanish man with a doctorate. He's 39 with a hard body from playing Rugby with the faculty team.The female students:· Bethany – fills out a 34 F bra. She's tall with long brown hair. Captain of the cycling team.· Michelle – has a nice 34 C chest. She went to an all-girls high school. A brunette virgin

Alison drops new music from Manila Killa, RemK, Vyhara, Fred Again.., Taylor Kade and more!Don't forget to rate & review on all of your favorite podcast apps! Post your comments on twitter @awonderland #RADIOWONDERLANDTracklist:RADIO WONDERLAND OPENER 00:00Alison Wonderland - Again? Fuck 00:40Jon Casey & PAID!NFULL - EARTHQUAKE 05:04PinkPantheress - Illegal (Nia Archives Remix) 07:50Taylor Kade x Micah Martin - Too Far Gone (Demons) 10:01Koastle - Feel 13:10Disco Lines, Tinashe - No Broke Boys (AVELLO Remix) 16:09Zedd x Selena Gomez - I Want You To Know (RemK Remix) 18:47Dillon Francis, Marten Hørger - Cut The Midrange 22:22Valentino Khan ft. MERYLL - Elevator 25:06Wuki & Lee Foss - To Be Real 28:03The Chainsmokers ft. Beau Nox - White Wine & Adderall 31:28Eyezic & CloudNone - Voices 34:17Whethan ft. LAVINIA - Cola 36:10Fred again.., Skepta, PlaqueBoyMax & Denzel Curry - Victory Lap Two 38:28KETTAMA, Shady Nasty & Fred again.. - Air Maxes (KETTAMA Mix) 40:28Vyhara - Got Me 43:10Jai Wolf - All Your Love 45:52MITCH - DON'T STOP! 48:14SLANDER & San Holo ft. Julia Church - Broken Hearted 50:43Howlan - face it all together 54:09Manila Killa, Nevve - Rinse It 57:44

You can enjoy exclusive and intense erotic audio by grabbing your copy of the Wylde Erotic App on the Apple Store,or downloading the very unofficial and unapproved Android version from WyldeInBed.com In the shadows of a city that never sleeps, desire and vengeance intertwine in *Bloodlines Entwined: The Vengeance of a Dark Lust*. Tonight, Andrew, a tortured vampire haunted by centuries of betrayal, finds himself face-to-face with the last surviving heir of the family that shattered his existence. Cloaked in intrigue, she arrives under the guise of investigating a murder—unbeknownst to her, she's stepped into a trap woven with dark passion and bitter revenge.As the night unfolds, Andrew wrestles with the seductive pull of her bloodline and the furious yearning for retribution that has consumed him for eons. With each tantalizing moment, their fates become entangled, blurring the lines between hate and desire. Can Andrew quench his thirst for vengeance without losing his heart to the very woman who carries the legacy of his family's downfall?In this gripping tale of twisted romance and dark desires, the stakes are high, and the passion is primal. Will bloodlines be severed, or will they entwine in a way neither of them ever anticipated? *Bloodlines Entwined* beckons readers into a world where love and hate dance dangerously close, and every heartbeat could lead to salvation or destruction. Discover the seductive underbelly of revenge and the intoxicating power of forbidden love.

A Day at the AcademyIn 13 parts, By BradentonLarry - Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels. Don, Evelyn, & Nicole enjoy the Academy, with Orgy Night.Don awoke with a smile on his face.He slowly rolled onto his back and blinked up at the clear blue sky. Life is very good! he thought with immense satisfaction.He didn't need to raise his head to appreciate his surroundings, but he did anyway. Of course, it was a beautiful morning with a view of the countryside all around, and even that of the Resort across the river was wonderful, but those weren't the best parts. The open area at the top of the library that served as their bedroom was lovely, filled with comfortable furniture, tastefully chosen, though created would be a better word, by Evelyn, but that wasn't what made him smile like this every morning. Not at all. Asleep on the big round bed were two of his favorite women, both wonderfully naked. Closest to him was his beloved Evelyn, her dark red hair a wonderful mess obscuring her adorable face. Don took a moment to admire her lovely, muscular back and perfect, tight ass. On the other side of Evelyn, stretched out in slender, ebony sexuality was Nicole, snoring quietly.The young woman had come a long way since he had met her at the Manor's garden maze. Like Don and Evelyn, Nicole had completed her complicated quest to earn a black ring, making her what Don continued to think of as a Lord of Eros. Unlike them, though, she had yet to return to Earth, but seemed to have taken up permanent residence in "this paradise of sexual delight," as she put it. Nicole had created a brightly colored fun house she named the Rumpus Room in a corner of the Resort, and she divided most of her time between there and here at the Academy on the other side of the river.Nicole hadn't met Evelyn until after they had both gotten their black rings, but she had almost instantly developed a serious crush on Don's partner. Of course, this didn't bother Don at all, not least because this meant he got to enjoy much more sex with the lithe young woman. It was almost what people called a throuple, though it was clear to everyone involved that the primary relationship was between Don and Evelyn. Nicole didn't seem to have a problem with this and was quite happy to enjoy sharing their bed and a nice variety of other pieces of furniture, and a much wider variety of playmates.Even with Nicole's regular presence, there were plenty of nights when Don and Toshia enjoyed each other's company in the lovely, relatively quiet intimacy that could only be had between two lovers.These ruminations stirred his cock, but he decided to let the women sleep. Don had always been an early riser, and he thought they both looked too beautiful slumbering like that in the morning light to disturb.Don padded down the ramp to the ground floor of the library, silently amused by the occasional snoozing reader in the various nooks he passed. After a quick shower off to the side of the library's big doors and grabbing an apple from the Perpetual Fruit Stand just outside the library, Don headed across the Academy grounds to what he continued to think of as the Shelonda Center. He smiled at the pile of naked bodies on one side of the large Japanese-style studio. They had apparently collapsed there after a late-night orgy. He chucked his apple core high into the sky, arcing into the forest beyond, and moved to the center of an empty platform, away from the sleepers.Don took several deep breaths, centering himself, and then went into his morning ritual, performing a long series of stretches and meditation that he considered his own personal yoga. He didn't think he really needed to stretch to avoid injury, as he had on Earth, but simply enjoyed the process of waking up his mind and warming up his body.When he was done with the yogic part of his morning, he moved to the back of the platform and put on a pair of loose slacks, bloused at the ankles. Don had discovered that he preferred to have at least this much clothing on when he practiced his kung fu. Not only did he find it a bit more comfortable than vigorously working out in the nude, but wearing the pants separated this part of his life from the more explicitly sexual aspects.This was not to say that his morning practices didn't often turn into sexual activities. Sometimes he would have company. There had been informal students who he would instruct in what was becoming his own Erosian style of kung fu, and occasionally there were sparring partners. Often these sessions turned into enthusiastic bouts of licking, sucking, and fucking. When Toshia and Sarah had come to visit, right after their initial trip to the Manor, and Toshia had asked him to "show them his stuff," his exhibition was immediately followed by an intense threesome, which became a foursome when Evelyn caught up with them.These thoughts reminded Don that Toshia and Sarah were out there somewhere on their own ring quest, or quests. He wondered what kinds of things the Watchers would demand of them and what kind of sexy shenanigans would be involved. Don looked forward to getting a report filled with details next time he saw either or both of them. For now, though, he pushed such things from his mind as he settled into working through his forms, ever pushing himself to sink lower, move faster, and jump higher.By the time he was done running through his workout, the sleepers had arisen, bathed a bit in the fountain in the center of the building, and wandered off. One woman, though, remained, sitting on the edge of the fountain and watching Don as he practiced the kama form he was developing. He gave her a smile and considered her directly only when he was finished.She had lovely light brown skin, a slender but fit body, and long black hair that seemed to be hanging into the water behind her.As soon as Don put his kamas in their place on the rack, he stripped off his pants, dropped them in a bin to be laundered (by one of the blanks who tended to the Academy), and crossed to the fountain. As he approached, he saw that his watcher was simply gorgeous, with big brown eyes that watched him as he walked up. Her flat chest suited her nicely, and her hair did indeed stream down her back and spread out in the water behind her.He offered her a warm smile, his cock already beginning to rise in anticipation."That was very beautiful," she said with a lilting French accent."Thank you," he nodded. "I'm Don.""Élodie," she smiled up at him. Though Don had planned to go to the side of her to splash some water on himself, Élodie reached out to take hold of his cock and draw him to her. In another moment her warm mouth had taken his head in, suckling it, her tongue running all over it, as Don's shaft quickly thickened in her grasp.As he took the beautiful woman's head gently in his hands, encouraging her to take him deeper into her mouth and then her velvety throat, Don again thought Life is very good!Evelyn slowly drifted toward full consciousness. She enjoyed the feeling of the firm mattress beneath her, covered by the soft sheets, as well as the gentle breeze caressing her skin. She could feel the warmth of a human body next to her on the bed, and knew it was Nicole. This was partly because Nicole was snoring a little.Evelyn wasn't surprised the younger woman was still sleeping; she had been particularly active the night before. By the time she had joined Don and Evelyn in their bed, Nicole had been busy, as evidenced by the various drying bodily fluids decorating her lovely dark skin and the sweet cum leaking out of her cunt and ass. Nicole had then thrown herself into that night's threesome with enthusiasm, doing more than her fair share of licking and sucking, as well as fingering, then fisting. By the time Evelyn had begun to lose her battle against sleep, Nicole was straddling Don, riding his cock vigorously.Reaching out, Evelyn was only a little surprised to find that Don was already up and about. He had a hard time sleeping much after the sun came up. She frowned slightly in disappointment. She realized then that she would have liked to have started the day with his cock in her. She resolved to end the day that way. As she slowly pushed herself up and started crawling off the bed, Evelyn decided she should also say something to him about letting her enjoy some morning play more often.Of course, Evelyn knew she could play with Nicole, but it wasn't quite the same. Evelyn had grown quite fond of Don's penis, as well as many of his other body parts. Besides, Nicole no doubt needed the sleep.Evelyn began working her way slowly down the library tower. As she went, she looked for stray books that had been left abandoned by absent-minded and/or sex-addled readers. Every time she came across such a book, she'd simply shelve it in the nearest available spot. Part of the library's magic was that the books would automatically sort themselves and make whatever you wanted to find ready for you. Evelyn smiled at the few people she passed who had fallen asleep with books in hand or on their laps, and at several who had already awakened and gone back to reading.Like Don before her, Evelyn made straight for the outdoor shower just outside the library. As she let the XYZ-water flow over her, washing away the remnants of the night before's revelries, she thought she should add a shower or a nice tub to their bedroom on top of the tower. Evelyn frowned, realizing that she had often had this thought but somehow always managed to forget to follow through when she got back up there. Must be that damn cock of Don's, she thought with a smile.As if summoned by Evelyn's thoughts, a cock appeared before her. A dark-skinned young man stepped into the shower. He wasn't much taller than her, and not particularly athletic, though he was what seemed to be Erosian fit, which was to say in better shape than most of the men on Earth. His tightly curled black hair was short. He smiled and said, "Good morning," in a thick accent that sounded much like India's.Evelyn returned his smile and greeting, openly admiring his naked body and manhood. Though it wasn't particularly big, it was a cock, and it was getting thicker as he watched her while standing under the water running in shimmering rivulets down his ebony skin.There were three shower heads in this little, three-sided enclosure. Evelyn had taken the leftmost out of habit and because it was closest to the library. The young man had taken the rightmost, no doubt to be polite. Evelyn wasn't particularly concerned with politeness at the moment.With another smile at the stranger, she stepped over to the middle shower, which automatically switched on, water instantly heated to just the right degree. She took up some soap, started working up a nice lather with the handy sponge, and made a nice show of washing her throat and breasts, all while watching the young man do much the same. Happy to note that he was not only watching her bathe but that his sex was responding nicely, she said, "I'm Evelyn.""Neto," he smiled. He was apparently a man of few words, but that was okay, Evelyn wasn't interested in his words.Evelyn gave Neto a wink as she ran the soapy sponge down over her taut belly. She watched him watching her as he moved his own sponge down toward his cock, which was now standing out in front of him at attention. Evelyn licked her lips, thinking how nice it would be to just drop to her knees in front of him right there. Chuckling to herself a bit, she turned around to let the water rinse the soap off her chest and belly. She hoped young Neto was taking the opportunity to admire her ass.He apparently was, for she almost immediately felt a warm hand caressing her behind. This was followed by a sponge moving over her skin as Neto's free hand moved up over her back and then slipped around to her front. The sponge worked downward, spreading her cheeks a bit before exploring lower. Evelyn parted her legs a little to let Neto move the soft, soapy sponge between them. Meanwhile, his hand moved up to cup one of her breasts, squeezing it. Evelyn felt his mouth on her neck then, and she let out a loud, happy sigh.Though she was reluctant to stop Neto from what he was doing with his hand and the sponge, Evelyn turned around under the water and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him hungrily. He responded enthusiastically, dropping his sponge to the floor, and squeezing her ass tightly in his hands. She felt his straining erection pressed against her tummy.While their tongues got acquainted, Evelyn reached down to grasp Neto's cock tightly, squeezing more than pulling. She broke their kiss long enough to say, "I want you to fuck me, Neto."He grinned and nodded his understanding, which he further underscored by bending his knees a bit and hoisting her up. Evelyn laughed a bit in surprise as she wrapped her legs around his waist and held on tightly. Neto took two steps forward and Evelyn felt the wall against her back. He reached down around her left thigh, and she felt the head of his cock slipping between her labia. She nodded her approval and relaxed her grip on him enough to sink down, letting him slip inside her.Evelyn groaned as she felt his nice, hard sex opening her up and filling her just as she needed. She rocked her hips a bit, working her horny little clit against the base of his cock. She smiled at Neto and said, "Yes, good! Fuck me!"Then she was kissing him again while he began to move in and out of her grasping cunt. She used her hold on his shoulders and her legs' purchase on his hips to work her body up and down on his stiff cock, loving the way her nipples were rubbing against his naked, wet chest, how her clit was being stimulated as they coupled, and the feeling of her hungry cunt being so wonderfully used.Almost without warning, Evelyn felt her first orgasm of the day explode and careen through her body. She clenched down on Neto's cock and clawed at his dark shoulders. As she slowly came down, she found she was kissing and biting at his neck. Laughing a little at herself, she smiled at Neto. She wanted him to keep fucking her, but there wasn't any need to tell him that. He seemed quite intent on shoving into her with a steady tempo. Still, Evelyn didn't want him to work too hard for his orgasm."Put me down," she said.As soon as she could, Evelyn unwrapped herself and put her feet on the ground. When Neto's cock slipped out of her, she quickly caught hold of it. She wasn't done with that yet.With the water still pouring down over her, Evelyn turned around and leaned forward, supporting herself against the wall with her free hand. She tossed her soaking wet hair around as she looked over her shoulder with a suggestive smile. Neto grinned and clearly understood what she had in mind, for he moved up behind her, bent his knees a little, took his cock from her hand and slowly, deliberately pushed it up into Evelyn's cunt.Pushing back on him with both hands on the wall and water spraying all over her back, Evelyn said, "Yes, that's it! Fuck me!"She was up on the balls of her feet as Neto drove into her with rising passion. She wanted him to fill her with his seed, but she suddenly wanted more than that. Shifting her weight a bit, she supported herself with one arm and slipped her now free hand down to begin stroking her clit. She felt Neto's cock swelling inside her as her fingers were strumming furiously at herself. When he groaned and she felt him shoving hard into her, his spasming cock pumping hot cum deep into her, Evelyn gave herself up to another orgasm, this one loud and long. As she shook there suspended between cock and wall, rained on by the shower, she felt Neto's cum leaking out of her and running over her fingers.She smiled to herself and thought Another beautiful day in Eros!It was almost noon when Nicole woke up. She blinked at the bright sun overhead, wishing for the occasional cloudy day. Though she knew that there were parts of Eros with less persistently perfect weather, here in the Resort-Rendezvous River valley it was always a glorious late-spring/early-summer day. Nicole had to admit, it was getting a bit monotonous.Then she remembered all the fun she'd had the day and night before, and all the fun in the years before that. She smiled and stretched on the big bed atop Evelyn's library. Though she was half-tempted to just lie there until Don and/or Evelyn came back, she knew she'd sooner find some fun if she went looking for it. And, besides, she was hungry.Nicole devoured a whole apple and a banana before she got into the shower, where she scrubbed herself clean of her previous exploits, so that she might cover and fill herself with the fruit of today's play.Looking around for inspiration, Nicole's eyes settled on the big pavilion that served as the school part of the Academy. She had seen both Evelyn and Don attempt to teach there. Evelyn was better at keeping an actual class going, perhaps because philosophy was more conducive to unstructured discussions than Erosian history or geography, or whatever Don was up to, but inevitably, and predictably, the classes evolved into small or large sex parties. With a saucy smile and an amusing idea, Nicole set off for the pavilion.There were only a handful of people lounging about the area as Nicole made for the large cabinet at the intersection of two of the movable "classroom" partitions. She wasn't in the least surprised to find that the cabinet had exactly what she was looking for when she opened it. She put on the white lab coat and buttoned it up. Of course, it fit her perfectly, though with no clothes underneath it wasn't really doing a good job of covering her.Struggling a bit with the bulky easel and the poster she'd gotten from the cabinet, she set up her instructive display next to the desk, and then went to the blackboard to write, in large letters, "Anatomy 101 with Prof. Nicole."Chuckling a bit to herself, Nicole brushed the chalk off her hands, picked up the handy pointer-stick-thingy, moved around to the front of the desk and half-sat, half-leaned on its edge, and waited. It didn't take long before a few people moved closer, no doubt out of curiosity. She looked up and counted four potential students, one woman and three men. It didn't seem like it was reasonable to expect any others to join in anytime soon, so she began with, "Hello class. I'm you're instructor today, Professor Nicole. Before we get into things, we should take a minute to introduce ourselves. I just told you who I am, so it's your turn. Let's start with you."She indicated the "student" furthest to the right, an older, white guy with black hair and piercing blue eyes who, with a noticeable Russian accent, announced that he was Pyotr.Next was another white guy, who Nicole thought was her own age or younger, who flashed her a smile and said, "I'm Levi." He was quite muscular and had green eyes and a European accent she couldn't quite place but found extremely sexy. Levi was already the teacher's pet.The third student was a dusky-hued, middle-aged Indian fellow who introduced himself as Viyaan. He seemed to be as interested in Levi as Nicole was.Finally, all the way to the left, was a pretty blonde with an athletic body featuring nice full tits. Her hair was curly and fell to her mid-back. She had dark skin for a blonde, but that just made her more attractive. Nicole guessed she was closer to Viyaan's age than Levi's or her own. She smiled at Nicole and the guys and said her name was Allison."Very good," Nicole smiled as she pushed herself up off the edge of the desk. "Welcome to human anatomy. Today we'll be focusing on the external sex organs."She used the pointer to gesture to the displayed poster, which showed diagrams of both male and female genitalia. It amused her a great deal to be pretending to teach such a topic here in Eros where everyone was quite familiar with the subject matter and had plenty of visual aids available. Regardless, she forged ahead."Who knows what these are called?" Nicole asked. "Pyotr?"The older man grinned and said, "Balls.""Yes, good," Nicole nodded, "but what about their official name?""Testicles," Levi said with that charming smile.Nicole smiled back at him, "Excellent! That's right. What about this?"Nicole worked through all the parts and terms she could remember from her last anatomy class, which she now realized had been years ago, in Erosian time. It only occurred to her part way through that it would have been fun to make up silly names for all the body parts and filed that away for next time. After working through each part on the poster, she quizzed them by pointing to random spots and calling on her "students" to name them.She was a bit surprised to find that the whole thing was a lot of fun. Nicole could now see how Don and Evelyn could be teachers back on Earth. Still, given the way Levi's flirtatious demeanor was making her cunt all nice and warm, Nicole thought she lacked the fortitude to teach without getting herself into serious trouble, at least on Earth."Very good, class," Nicole smiled at her four students. "But you don't need to be able to identify these wonderful things on silly diagrams, do you?" She emphasized her question by tossing the poster off toward the cabinet in the corner. With a twinkle in her eye she said, "We need to be able to find them out in the wild. I need a volunteer."Unsurprisingly, Levi's hand shot up. With a laugh, Nicole gestured for him to come up and had him stand in front of the desk facing the others. She was quite pleased to note that he seemed to have a rather long cock that was already swelling with anticipation."Now, who wants to come up and show us what they've learned on our real-life subject?"Nicole was thinking that if no one volunteered she'd be happy to get directly involved with the demonstration. However, though Allison was smiling approvingly at Levi's body, it was Viyaan who raised his hand."Come on up, then, Viyaan," nodded Nicole. "Show us Levi's glans. Good, now the testicles. Oh, a little more gently perhaps.""At least your hand is warm," Levi laughed."Okay, now the shaft?" Nicole prompted. She didn't know how anybody could get that one wrong, and Viyaan immediately grasped Levi's impressive length. He promptly began to stroke it slowly, watching as it began to expand in his hand.Nicole snickered a bit to herself at the expression on Levi's face, which was torn between surprise and titillation. She suspected the muscular cutie hadn't ever had a man stimulate him so. The fact that he was getting so visibly aroused by the slow hand job suggested that he wasn't exactly unhappy about the situation.Nicole said, "Very good, Viyaan. Now, Allison, why don't you come up here so Pyotr can show us he's been paying attention?"In another minute, the fit blonde with the big tits and a lovely puffy cunt was sitting up on the edge of the desk as Pyotr showed that he did in fact have a good understanding of the material. Nicole grinned and said, "Now we didn't cover this, but do you know where her g-spot is?"

The Dungeon of Despair: Toshia & Sarah must escape a dungeon & its denizens.In 13 parts, By BradentonLarry - Listen to the Podcast at Explicit Novels.Sarah reeled from the aftershocks of her intense orgasms, stunned by how much cum had been pumped into her and onto her. As the tentacle slipped away from her mouth it spilled quite a lot of the sweet juice all over her tits. Grinning to herself, Sarah ran her hands over her body, rubbing the cum into her skin and pinching her nipples. She thought of Toshia and hoped she was having as much fun. She opened her eyes to see what her lover was up to.Smiling blissfully and covered in shiny cum, Toshia was being drawn toward a dark thing, a black ball with a single great eye and a maw lined with jagged teeth. The thing extended a long prehensile tongue, which Toshia grasped and drew to her mouth. Apparently unaware of the danger, Toshia was pulled ever closer to those deadly teeth.Finally, Sarah found her voice, yelling, "Toshia! No!"Toshia ignored her, and proceeded to suck on the slender tip of that tongue as if it were a cock or a nipple.Sarah struggled against the tentacle wrapped around her waist, paying no attention to the fact that more tentacles were snaking up between her legs. When she saw that the thing wasn't going to release her, Sarah splashed water at Toshia and the thing that held them. She shouted again, "Wake up, Toshia!"Then, just as it seemed the creature was about to devour her love, Sarah noticed some splashing on the other side of the monster. There was a flash of steel in the wan light of the cavern, and the black orb was cut in two, diagonally, right through that hideous eye. Toshia fell into the water and Sarah felt the tentacles slip away and the big one around her waist slacken.Sarah saw a big man standing there in full, metal armor, and with a huge sword black with tentacle-monster blood, then noticed another armored man a bit further back, but her attention was drawn to Toshia who was spluttering and splashing next to the thing's body. Shoving her way out of the grasp of the dead limb around her waist, Sarah crossed to Toshia and hugged her. She held her tightly and asked, "Are you okay, babe?"Toshia was laughing. "Yes," she said. "You are seriously covered in cum, baby."Relieved, Sarah released Toshia."Are you ladies uninjured?" asked a gruff voice. Turning, they saw that the man with the sword was not exactly human. He was built like a tall bodybuilder but had greenish skin, a slightly jutting under-bite that allowed two pronounced lower canines to protrude, a broad nose, prominent brow, thick, short-cut, black hair, several quite noticeable scars, and large pointed ears."Yes," Toshia answered for them. "I think we're fine.""That thing was about to eat you," Sarah finally said. "This man saved you."Toshia frowned, "What? We were just having fun.""You were charmed, no doubt," said a lilting feminine voice. A slender, dark-haired woman waded through the water toward them. She had a bow in her hands, and she also had pointed ears, though hers were quite different from the man's. Sarah identified her as an elf immediately, an undeniably beautiful elf, who said, "The lurkers ensorcel their prey, have their way with them, and devour them, their victims believing they're having a wonderful time all the while.""Lucky you came along when you did, then," Toshia said. She was looking sadly at the blood and remains that were already washing away toward the nearest runoff point."Yes, thank you," Sarah said, much more enthusiastically.The second man, a tall human wearing proper chainmail and carrying a sword and shield not much different from Sarah's, had come up and stood quietly, though he seemed to be admiring Toshia and Sarah's naked bodies."Everything okay out there?" called a woman's voice from the other side of the pond, where Sarah could see at least three more figures."Yes," shouted the big greenish guy. "We'll be right back."The pretty woman said, "I'm Rayna, this is Gul, and the quiet one is Tohl. Perhaps you would like to clean up and join us and the rest of our party. We were just about to make camp."After she and Toshia shared a glance, Sarah said, "Yes, that would be nice. Thank you. I'm Sarah, and this is Toshia."Rayna smiled and nodded. The heavily armored guy, Gul, said, "Watch the middle; it gets deep."Moving away from what was left of the "lurker," Sarah and Toshia quickly but thoroughly washed themselves, though Sarah expected lurker cum would be leaking out of their asses for days. They hurried over to collect their gear and carried it all around the side of the pond until they came to the lichen covered ledge the others had chosen for their camp.In addition to the three they'd already met, there was a blonde woman with an odd-looking guitar, wearing a short skirt and a very flattering bodice, a redhead wearing what looked like a dominatrix's suit of shiny black leather, which happened to show off some lovely cleavage, a male elf wearing dark robes, and a man no more than half Sarah's height who was pacing back and forth in what Sarah thought of as more traditional leather armor. Every one of them, except the elf in the robes, was armed. The sexy redhead was saying, "Isn't this awfully close to the water?""The lurkers are solitary hunters and would have scared off or eaten any other predators," replied Rayna."How do you know this stuff?" asked the short one.Rayna sighed, "You might find it helpful to read up on the lore of the region now and then, Shift."Just then, they noticed Toshia and Sarah. Both Gul and Tohl promptly moved to help them up out of the water."Sarah, Toshia, welcome," Rayna smiled. "This is Vespula, Quislin, Zasterfel, and Shift," she said as she indicated the blonde woman, the redhead, the robed youth, and the short guy, respectively."Please, call me Zas," said the robed one with a warm smile.Sarah smiled and nodded her head. She was amused by the fact that she and Toshia were standing there, dripping wet and completely naked, in front of a bunch of fully clothed characters out of a fantasy movie as if it were completely normal. In fact, nobody seemed to think the situation odd."Make yourselves comfortable," Vespula said with an appreciative smile."Thank you," Toshia said as she put her armor and weapons on the soft mat of lichen and sat cross-legged. She gave a smile to the pretty blonde, who passed her a pair of apples from a backpack."Yes, thank you," Sarah added as she also took a seat, and an apple from Toshia. "Especially you, Gul. You got there just in time. You saved our lives.""It was nothing." Gul waved his hand as if to brush the praise aside."At least mine," Toshia said. "Thank you.""Well, we have something of a tradition," the redhead smiled mischievously. Sarah could now see that she too had elven features. "Whenever one of us saves another's life, ""There's no need for that," Gul grumbled. Sarah was sure the big green guy was blushing.After shooting Sarah a wry smile, Toshia said, "Oh, I'm pretty sure we'd be happy to honor your tradition."Knowing they were in Eros, Sarah thought, and was sure Toshia agreed, it was a safe bet the tradition Quislin had in mind was sexual in nature. So, it wasn't a surprise when, after a bit of prodding from his companions, Gul stood and began to take off his armor. Quislin and Vespula got up and helped him, but surprisingly refrained from engaging in any kind of foreplay with the big fellow.Soon, Gul was standing in front of them, a model of buff not-quite-human masculinity. His chest was broad and muscular. In fact, most of his body was muscular. There were also quite a lot of scars, which somehow only added to his appeal. Between his legs was a generous cock, not the longest Sarah had seen in Eros but perhaps the thickest. The unusual color of Gul's skin made him seem a bit more exotic."There you go girls," Vespula said with a twinkle in her eye. "Show him your gratitude."Toshia led the way, crawling on all fours the short distance until she was kneeling in front of Gul. Sarah followed close behind. Though Gul was quite a bit taller than them, they were still at a good level to lean in and begin kissing and running their hands over Gul's generous endowment. This wasn't the first cock they'd shared like this, that had been Don's, but it was the biggest. Sarah enjoyed watching Toshia sucking on the fat head, and then kissing her, tasting his precum in her mouth. She liked the way his cock got hard between the two of them, their lips, tongues, and hands moving on it.Sarah took Gul's thick shaft in hand and sucked the big head into her mouth, tongue playing over its slit. Her hands moved up and down on his spit-covered organ as Toshia bent under to kiss and fondle his heavy balls. She couldn't deepthroat him but wondered if Toshia wanted to try. Still, she bobbed her head on him a bit, her hands squeezing tightly. Sarah looked up at him and saw Gul watching her intently. This made her happy.Then Sarah let the big cockhead pop out of her mouth and rubbed it against her face. Toshia came up for air, kissing and licking her way up to Sarah, where she joined her partner in rubbing her face on the darker green glans.Toshia smiled up at Gul and said, "Why don't you lie down so we can really show you how grateful we are?"While the big guy hurried to comply, Sarah looked around to see that the others were watching them, but not just watching, of course. Vespula had pulled her blouse down to free a pair of lovely breasts, one of which she was squeezing while her other hand was busy under her skirt. Quislin, whose outfit now seemed to be crotchless, had a cock in either hand, Tohl's in the right and Zas's surprisingly large one in the left, while the men on either side of her each had a hand on her crotch, one apparently fingering her cunt and the other stroking her clit. Sarah guessed they had done this before. Rayna was watching them intently as Shift (the only one who wasn't watching her, Toshia, and Gul) was on his hands and knees between her legs, licking her. The expression on the pretty elf's face told Sarah the little guy knew what he was doing.By the time Sarah tore her eyes off the others, Toshia was leaning over Gul making out with him, an experience Sarah would soon find out was quite interesting and not at all unpleasant. Meanwhile his hard, thick cock was left unattended. With a smile, Sarah crawled over, ran her tongue up the length of that impressive organ, and straddled Gul's waist. Reaching under herself, she raised the heavy cock and pushed its flared head up into her very ready cunt."God! That feels good!" Sarah breathed. She slowly sank down on the thick shaft, feeling her cunt opening, filled wonderfully by Gul's sex. Then his head was against her cervix, and she began to work up and down on that glorious cock. She braced her hands on his strong abs as she adjusted to his girth and the intense feeling of fucking him. Soon, though, she was riding him more vigorously, hands squeezing her own tits tightly as she rode that column of flesh harder and faster.Meanwhile, Toshia had turned to watch Sarah, an expression of combined lust and love on her face. Then Gul said something, Toshia smiled at him, and said, "Okay!" In another moment, Toshia was straddling his face as he began licking at her cunt and clit with what looked like a long, strong tongue. Sarah found herself watching those two sharp canines as they brushed against Toshia's smooth thighs.Then Toshia was reaching out to pull Sarah toward her. Sarah propped herself up on Gul's broad pecs, still riding his cock, as Toshia drew her in for a deep passionate kiss. That's when the first of her orgasms hit Sarah. She shook and trembled, moaning into Toshia's mouth, as her body reeled with pleasure.When she pulled back a bit, Sarah said, "His cock is so good!"Toshia grinned at her and said, "I'm looking forward to it. Can you keep it warm for me for a bit, though? I don't want to give up his tongue just yet.""Happily," Sarah said as she continued to grind herself on Gul, working his cock in and out of her grasping cunt. She hoped to come again on him, but Toshia beat her to it, crying out and shuddering as she ground down on Gul's apparently talented mouth.After Toshia came down and caught her breath, Sarah gave up her place so Toshia could take that thick cock up into her slender body. Sarah was lying next to Gul, stroking his powerful chest, and alternating between making out with him and watching Toshia riding up and down on his thick shaft, one hand between her legs playing with her clit. For himself, Gul had taken hold of Toshia's waist in both strong hands, helping the relatively tiny woman fuck him. Sarah found the sight of her lover pushing up and then falling back on Gul's fat cock, slick with both of their juices, wonderfully erotic.Toshia was grunting and moaning, nearing a second orgasm, when Sarah bit Gul's ear and said, "Come for us, baby. Fill Toshia with your cum."Gul responded with a nod and a groan, and then he was arching his back, his whole, muscular body clenching and shaking. Toshia cried out, "Yes! Fuck yes!" as she came again, writhing down on Gul's spasming cock. Pearly cum leaked out of her around that wonderful organ.Toshia sagged forward on Gul's prone body, with a bit of a giggle, and said, "Thank you.""Yes," Sarah grinned, kissing his cheek. "Thank you."Gul gave a deep chuckle and said, "You're quite welcome, miladies." After the delightful threesome with Gul, the rest of his companions joined in, and it became a chaotic nine-person orgy. Toshia couldn't keep track of all the particulars, but certain moments stood out: lovely Rayna licking Gul's cum out of her cunt while the little Shift took the elf from behind; watching Sarah getting double-teamed by Zas and Tohl while sucking on Quislin's tits; being ganged up on by Vespula, Rayna, and Quislin, who used their mouths, fingers, and at least one whole hand, to bring her to a series of soul shattering orgasms; and, in particular, mounting tall Tohl, taking him into her cunt, while Gul pushed that fat monster of his deep into her ass and Shift stood in front of her feeding her his comparatively small, but still respectable, cock.It was after that last wonderful session, as Toshia lay there momentarily by herself, playing with the cum oozing out of her well-fucked cunt, that it occurred to her that she wasn't tired. After her creature gangbang, climbing all those stairs, the incident with the "lurker," and this beautiful, but quite long, orgy, she should be exhausted, but she wasn't. Not at all! In fact, she was lustfully eyeing Quislin, who had shed her shiny black "armor" and was lying on her side on the soft lichen-covered ground as Zas fucked her ass from behind. Her plan was to crawl over there and lick the redhead's cunt and maybe get some of Zas's cum. But, again, Toshia asked herself, Shouldn't I be tired?Then she thought about the guys. She wasn't surprised by the duration of their erections; this was business as usual in Eros. But they had also come many times. Not even Don, who had devoted himself to mastering such things, normally came more than three times in an orgy, and more than three was quite rare. Mostly he had been able to put off his orgasms and increase the volume of cum. These guys had come more than four times each, with consistently large loads. Just then, in fact, Gul was stroking his thick cock over Vespula, covering her lovely tits with yet another slippery flood of cum, and that was at least his fifth such orgasm.Quislin raised a leg, slipping her hand down to push two fingers into her cunt, palm pressed against her clit. The temptation to get over there and get busy with that sexy woman was palpable, but something was wrong.Across the way, Sarah had Shift between her legs, fucking her vigorously. Though the size differential between them was amusing, the loud noises Sarah was making clearly indicated she was having a good time. But something was wrong.Toshia shook her head and tried to concentrate. She closed her eyes, trying to shove aside her raging horniness, and opened them again. Sarah was there, moaning in pleasure, but the others were gone. Toshia tried again, closing her eyes, concentrating, then opening them."What the fuck?!" she gasped.She and Sarah were indeed in a cavern almost filled with a pond, but it and the cavern were much smaller. There were a few waterfalls raining down on little platforms that seemed to climb up to the possibility of passages leading away. There didn't seem to be any lichen-covered pleasure platforms, and there certainly was no party of adventurers having an orgy.However, there was a lurker, still very much intact. It was against the edge of the pond, its big eye closed and what seemed to be a happy smile on its face.Sarah was on the other side of the pond, up to her tits in the water, murmuring happily to herself, apparently dreaming. Toshia was surprised that both she and Sarah were still wearing their ersatz armor, and that her short sword and dagger were still at her side.Toshia finally realized that the lurker still had several of its tentacles up inside her cunt and ass. Though none of them were actively fucking her, they still slowly pulsed and sent quiet waves of pleasure to the base of her spine. Gingerly, avoiding any sudden moves, Toshia reached down between her legs and slowly drew the tentacles out of her. She shuddered a bit as the sensations left her. She was rather shocked at how long one of the tentacles was that had gone up her ass.Then, moving very slowly, hardly raising even a ripple in the water, she crossed to Sarah and gently drew the tentacles out of her lover. Sarah whimpered a little in disappointment. Toshia kissed her and whispered, "Shush, baby, but wake up."Sarah's eyelids fluttered a bit, almost opening, but then closed again. So, Toshia risked jostling her a bit. When that didn't work, Toshia leaned over, covered Sarah's mouth with a kiss and gave one of her nipples a rough twist. That did the trick. Sarah's eyes flew open, and her body stiffened.Toshia drew back, gave her lover a smile and whispered as quietly as she could, "We have to get out of here."Sarah looked around in confusion but then nodded her understanding. Toshia slowly climbed out of the pool, and then turned to help Sarah do the same. Moving as stealthily as they could, they climbed half a dozen levels to the furthest of the waterfalls, where they quickly did their best to wash themselves, without taking off their armor."Fuck! My shield!" Sarah gasped. She had apparently lost it in the lurker's pool.Feeling rejuvenated by the heavy, cleansing shower and surprisingly well-rested, Toshia offered a wry smile and asked, "Want to go back and get it?"Sarah scowled back at the still slumbering lurker and said, "No, I guess not."Once they made their way out of that cavern and back into a network of tunnels, squelching in their boots as they went, they were able to talk about what had happened."So, it was all a dream?" Sarah asked."Something like that," Toshia shrugged. "Probably more like we were charmed, like Rayna said.""But her saying that was a dream too. Wait, you had the same dream I did?"This led to a quiet com

On this episode we talk about The Tale of the Night Shift.

0:39-Introductions 2:15-Alfred Robles show 4:40-Heading to show 16:30-Opener comedian-Angel 19:06-Jason 22:25-Dance competition 23:31-Break 24:46-Jules almost breaks up Pierre and Bj 25:10-Jason origin story 29:08-Back to Pierre on stage 36:10-Second round 42:53-Break 43:40-Meet and greet 49:00-Fuck it what can go wrong viewer story 52:25-Apology from Jules and Pierre 54:45-Shout-outs 59:59-Bloopers -Follow the podcast: -P.O. Box 140281 Lakewood, CO 80214 -YouTube: What Can Go Wrong Podcast -Instagram: WhatCanGoWrongPodcast -TikTok: WhatCanGoWrongPodcast -Snapchat: WCGWCAST -Twitter/X: @WCGWCAST -Pierre IG: Pierre_WCGW

0:39-Introductions 2:15-Alfred Robles show 4:40-Heading to show 16:30-Opener comedian-Angel 19:06-Jason 22:25-Dance competition 23:31-Break 24:46-Jules almost breaks up Pierre and Bj 25:10-Jason origin story 29:08-Back to Pierre on stage 36:10-Second round 42:53-Break 43:40-Meet and greet 49:00-Fuck it what can go wrong viewer story 52:25-Apology from Jules and Pierre 54:45-Shout-outs 59:59-Bloopers -Follow the podcast: -P.O. Box 140281 Lakewood, CO 80214 -YouTube: What Can Go Wrong Podcast -Instagram: WhatCanGoWrongPodcast -TikTok: WhatCanGoWrongPodcast -Snapchat: WCGWCAST -Twitter/X: @WCGWCAST -Pierre IG: Pierre_WCGW

Pools of blood, And pools of dust, And fools, and fools, and fools Pools of love, And pools of list And tools and tools, and tools Pools of us, And Pools of hours And palms of pools D'hors Pools of plants, And pools of listen Pools and Pools and Pools Now, for us, what's at stake has come upon us For whether which now or ever ties have made for us to burn; Ne'er mistake there lust for listens and of ponders, Waterfalls of love and feathers, wanders Ties to honor stars and fore of fathers Almost lost it, there, I– Almost gathered, therefore. [ ] So to us who part ties, Of tied knots and of stomach's wrench To nourish shadows as remains her honor, I, depart my once, I, as flocking doves, The twist'of fated never Bare I fear or fonder Where, where, for again (bare tied as to none) and again wakes as has but not in time, to grove– The box I paved and yet, Set aside not as slabs of stone Or ash and fire But there i wake In cedar pine and oak The turn of slumber as the glow of what I once did not know, Now has shined against My eyes as water Luminescence Oh Goddamnit. Peaking pride, the oath Again i wait and ne'er did I come, but forth I woke, and also thought Not one but worlds of color, And there i know, to heart the seas I parted Not shallow or in shallows waking, red as scarlet blood but mauve, and then, the coping stays of which I gathered here has Agape and aching, wet with pride and courage Forefront others As thought to know, I, And I become, as known, now not and. “All White World” Our ENSEMBLE awakens slowly in the void of light; an all white space seemingly endless and drenched in blinding light; slowly awakening as if upon a cloud, and yet, washed in the drenched brightness of an all white world–familiar and together, but also new; The uniformity of all white attire and the simplicity of symmetry–all alike but of many and also one. I promise there's pancakes; I promise there's porridge I primise there's light at the end of the tunnel (the end of the night and beginning of brunch) And yes, I promise a run And a run for the office (not by far) And not unpardoned I promise to pray And I promise to wait And i promise to ache In the acres I've laid Made of all green pastures And days and days Without saying my name Pass us over Now…. Hiatus, Hiatus, Hiatus! My maples for all of us, cornbread And cream of the coconut (cream of the coconut) Screams from the underworld (Calling! They're calling) And trees of the very best kind; Plush with fruits What a prosperous product A merciless giving A scrupulous foreign (For four eyes, not one on my forehead) –policy! Don't you know, Conan, That all this goes over my– Over my over– Over my Over my head, –like a snowball? Don't you know, though, That nothing goes over his– Over his over– Over his Over his head –no one throws that high! (Not in softball!) ENSEMBLE What an apocalypse! What an apocalypse! What a protocol! What a dunce! What an oddball! Don't you know Nothing goes over Goes over Goes over us Nothing goes over us Nothing goes over Nothing goes over No bombs being dropped And the worst has to come because Nobody's turning this off; It's a turning point Not a mantra! It's a saga And nothing less short than a– Awful apocalypse; Long hiatus and no-low doses of Polymorohypothesis– Whatever that is! Don't you know, Conan, They're all going wrong with us. No, There's no knowing the coat From the hotbox, the hoot from the horus, the laugh from the chopsticks, The room full of products Or coatrooms of corpses No, There's no knowing us But out of nowhere The hour comes running upon us, And so The show must go on The show must go on The show must go…. DIRECTOR CUT! WHAT! That was FABULOUS! I don't disagree with you. However– What is it now? A MAN hangs by nothing but seemingly a very tightly buckled pair of restraints, above his head–the source of the object from which he hangs unknown, he appears to almost float, in fact, in quite the sufferable struggle. Holy fuck, guy. You're still up here? The VOICE comes from above but is yet unseen, it appears as though two very tidy clean white tennis shoes appear to be holding the straps of these restraints in place. CONT'D That's amazing. No false ties, And no hard wars, And no jolly ranchers, Gob stoppers, or nerf ropes. No fruit roll ups, No lunchables, or gushers No hamburger helper And no candy crush Just Drugs And more Drugs And more Drugs and more Morons Donuts, and drag queens, Tim Hortons, And Mormons; Mothballs, and Roaches, And horseflies, And rodents – Now guess which long road you're on (guess which long road you're on) Guess which long road you're aaaaahhhhhh– HALT. Who goes there. What the fuck is THIS. Finally, two acts past intermission, The troll under the bridge has put his cancer in remission The redactions have acted as class-action warfare, McDonalds has sponsored us, But barely. Look: just. No. I'm not endorsing this. Why. Because! It's killing people! Shh! It is! He–'s uh–joking. Actors! Improvising! Hush. Left and right! Speaking of left and right– You know who our sponsors are, right? Of coure! This nonsense! No! The– Shh–! –Owners of this product. Beg your pardon. Do you know who owns this brand and company? No. Well, do your research. Immediately. I highly recommend that. This seems serious. Serious as a heart attack. ACTION! Fuck you! Nuhhhhh–fuck you, you fucking fuck! Look, you lost, alright. Ughhhhhh. It's three to one. Three to one?! Yes. Fuck. Wait a–wait– What. Aren't there five of you guys? What? Huh-huh? No. Yes. There are. No. There's. Why. Five–of us–four of us You're lying. One, two, three *hiccups* four– Strike force “five”? I'm two guys! FUCK. We're missing one. Fuck. They figured us out. I figured out nothing. I'm drunk. I Fluffed. just know the difference–s between Five and One What. Four and Five! okay . Fuck. Well that's right. Well can't we just do it with us. NO! Why not. Because. the singularity has to be in the exact circumstance when this lightning strikes as the first one was. But– That's impossible. It's not–*hiccups*--umpossible. I was 9! “9 and a half!” “The half counts.” But not right now! Because i'm like a 60 year old guy! What! Gross. You're 60?! I think so! Then how old am I!?! I don't know! How old were you before!? I'm your brother! You don't know how old I am!? You're not my brother now, so maybe–I don't know–you never were! *gasps* take that bacK! [The boys fight amongst eachother] Fuck me, man. No thank you. What in the fuck did I write. I don't know but. CUT TO Ooh. Dice. DON'T TOUCH *poof* ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: L E G E N D S “The Magic Dice” (A Triad) NICE. FUCK yOu DUDE. nO fuck U U dElEETED My WRLD. THen is must not have been that great. *exaggerateD gasp* *even more exaggerated gasp* *Fluffs* *fluffs harder* *explodes* [The Festival Project ™ ] MEANWHILE The Aliens Are On A Pirate Ship, There's Still No Sign of [Redacted] and that's what this beat is called. -U. iS this a montage? Idk it just seems like a ship sinking in very slow motion. [A pirate ship full of aliens is sinking in very slow motion in a thunderous maelstrom.] (in IMAX 3D) Wow. I like that. This is fascinating. JIMMY KIMMEL is pacing relentlessly; he is driving the other hosts up a wall. KIMMEL I'm hungry, I want pants. I'm hungry– I want pants– Jimmy... KIMMEL I'm hungry– Jimmy! KIMMEL I want pants! JIMMY! KIMMEL WHAT! I'M HUNGRY AND I WANT PANTS! Oh, is that when— CRAIG FURGUSON has had enough. CRAIG You want bloody pants! KIMMEL YES! I WANT PANTS! CRAIG You know what! Fine! I'll make you some fucking pants if you just–shut UP! KIMMEL AND I'M HUNGRY. CRAIG FIRST THINGS FIRST! CRAIG FURGUSON assembles some very eclectic pants from the drapery inside the mansion; this of course reveals the windows to be boarded up in a highly distinct bunker-like maximum security prison-ish fashion, but THE HOSTS at the very least now have makeshift pants; which are startlingly fashionable: read: bohemian chic. Why do mine have beads still attached? He pulls the decorative ripchord and his fly opens promptly. Oh. CRAIG FURGUSON For emergencies. He continues pulling it in sequence with the matching lamp; he alternates turning the lights on and off and opening and shutting his pants flap in admiration. CRAIG FURGUSON CONT'D In case you really have to go. (Facinated) Ooh! CRAIG FURGUSON is satisfied with his work. CRAIG FURGUSON CONT'D I guess you could say, “The curtains match the drapes” CONAN O'BRIEN (beat) …not mine. {Enter The Multiverse} Fearsome, fearsome friends– Fearsome fearsome few Fearsome fearsome tears Listen whispers Fearsome twin Silly hollows All the lies All that waits is Hollywood and chosen five at ends of times All that waits are kings and wisdom All that knows are far, and farther All that needs is nothing, lessons All that fears is our kind Waiting. Shallow. Whispers, Gaining, Hornets nests and looming , gifted Shadow watchers Our time Farrows, Listen, Glistening as sparrows, Gifted– Kill God, There remains a far price There remains a far cry A call to wolves A false time The fabric is losts on Ghosts and Carry trains, Wishes and Tilted, Whisperers Before our Galaxy of Hard times and Wishes, Wishes, Wilting, Flowers, Waiting, Waiting And Waiting And Waiting And wanting but watching The water Gallons Fly up The wanted Waiting The gallows Have haunted us Far cries, Far cry Fear twins, have shattered To notice us Chatterbox Listens and Life turns and Waiting and Galaxies Gallantly Waiting The gallows Have haunted us Waiting And Waiting And Waiting and Water. We're watching you. An ACHINGLY TALL red-headed fellow finds himself in a FIGHT TO THE DEATH, being cast over eons and decades, and cascaded in and our of portals throughout the ever-infinite dimensional portals of unknown realms as his grasp on life itself and reality begins to fade as he crosses in and out of parallels, one galaxy to the next and one lifetime to another, gripping death and darkness in one hand and light and living in the other. In this bloody brawl, scrawling across an expanse of unknown and unknowable times and realms, this mystic remains still yet as infinite and omniscient in himself as the Gods he looks to for mercy, as the journey has been known to become of these very same deities in its context and process. A folding timeline of blood and sacrifice melds itself into the rope of the materiel worlds; not one fabric of time but many twisted and woven fibers into one rope from which he climbs into the ranks of the upperworld–or heaven, then also slipping seemingly sometimes into the depths of the underworld, a Hell known to all man as this, existence not as one but many consumed in the shadow processes of wickedness and torture, war amongst one another, and the well known humanities of pride, faith, justice and wealth. …this is supposed to be Conan? Uhh… “Achingly tall red-head?” yeah I guess. –O'Brien? [beat] He seems capable. Don't pity me, For not I weep of our pride on doorsteps not allowed, But for the grace and hope of fortune in another world i've known But lest forgotten; Do not feign me for my ignorance in desire, For I am not of man, or woman, or grain, or stone But of the world itself and all ire. (Don't doubt me.) To be cruel not those who pass judgement That weighs in this way or that is utmost critical, In this the end of times and now the end of my desires, And yet the way that I have known, And the offer I have rung Is not here, but elsewhere. And yea, I walk alone. Amen. What the fuck does this have to do with show hosts. Almost always Irish Catholic Almost Always clothed in robes Almost Always fathers, aren't I? Almost always old, of Rome. Almost always birds of feather Almost always sticks and stones Almost always on the airwaves Almost always silver, gold Slither, Slither, Here i wait And Slither slither, Here I came And whether she will slit her wrists Is neither here Nor either there It's a comfort that I offer you to slaughter; That you'd rather not to love but instead murder– I'd be better off to love, then kill you after, Course, tarantula, or just as well, a spider. It's a comfort that I offer you to kill me; Lay my head upon a sanded wooden platter– That you'd rather me to say I'd kill than love you– So I rather just to love, then murder after. Woah. Good to God, God ought to know. I close my palms together full of laughter, So. Good to God, God ought to know, I sacrified my life for ever after. So far. Good to God, God ought to know, That all he wants, I want My heart is surely shattered. Now what. Good as God, God ought to know, That all I want becomes; The looking glass, The wishing well, The cross to bare The shepherd to the pasture. Amen. Omen. All men. Want none. But one. But– So. [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS W E L C O M E -Ū. Copyright The Festival Project, Inc. ™ & The Complex Collective © 2015-2025 All Rights Reserved B A C K Tales of A Superstar DJ

“The Golden Rule” I finally did it. I finally set my house on fire. You don't know. I've lived there two years; I just now did it. This amazes me that just how. Here's how it happened. So I'm in my kitchen, cooking. I just worked out for like, three hours so I'm cooking everything. Everything. I put the soup on, but by the end of the workout, I'm not sure the soup is going to be enough. So, I thought to myself, “You know what, I'm going to make some tortilla chips” A few days before I made the dopest salsa. I couldn't get enough of it. It was the best salsa ever. I was like “gosh” so every day, Tacos for three days, Just to put the salsa on top, And on the fourth day, I'm like “Nah, soup.” So, I put the soup on and I go workout, But the soup, you see has roasted vegetables in in, You know? So what I had done was, I had roasted the vegetables on a pan, but the pan is a little worn, so i put them on parchment paper… … Yeah, but here's what really happened, Is I took the vegetables off of the roasting pan, and I was about to throw away the parchment paper, And I thought “Wait. No! There's still so much oil on this!” And I didn't want to be wasteful. So I turned the oven back on, And I took out the tortillas I had— There were four of them— I took out two, Just in case I wanted two actual tacos later— Cause you know, I really love this fucking salsa. So good. Anyway— I take out two of the four tortillas, And I quarter them, And I flip them in the leftover oil from the roasted vegetables, And I'm thinking— This is going to be so good Roasted vegetable flavored Corn tortilla chips— I brush on a little bit of coconut oil, I drop some lemon juice on them, I put on a little salt— And I put them in the oven— I turn the oven to broil, And then I start the dishes; Dishes takes about ten minutes, This should take about ten minutes— So I start doing the dishes, And cleaning up, And putting them away, And this is the most ironic shit in the world, I start thinking to myself Particularly about this comedian that I like And I start thinking to myself “Wow, so you're a comedian; Comedian things happen to you; You're a real comedian. I must not be a real comedian— Because comedy things don't happen to me.” And right at that moment, I just so happen to look into the oven, And all I see is flames. Like, open flames. Big, flames. So I open the oven; More flames. I'm like “Oh no.” So now I'm panicking because I've never had an apartment with a gas stove before, So I don't know how quickly flames turn into massive explosions. And it's honestly funny how suicidal I am, Until I see open flames and I'm like “No, but— not like THIS!” So I freak out, I hit the breaker. I turn off everything in the place I'm not looking to see which switch is “gas” I turned turned them all off, Click, click, click, click Put on my slip ons, and grab my phone and I'm out the door. And I'm thinking to myself “See this is why you need a phone,” Because honestly sometimes, I don't feel like paying the bill. I feel like having toilet paper, Or soap, Or water— And I just “Whatever” But lately, I've been looking for more work because I like having toilet paper, and soap, and water AND a phone— so I keep the phone on, Which, even in the moment is like “Oh yeah, wow, I have a phone” Like I'm in astonishment at how handy it is because if it's handy for anything, This is it. So I'm out the door, and I'm dialing 911 as I hit the staircase; Whoosh, I'm out the door and in the long before the operator even picks up, And I'm in the lobby, on the phone, and the operator gets the address and I'm just standing there — Mind you, I didn't even grab my keys on the way out, so I'm assuming the door is locked, And I think to myself about the size of the flames and the fact that they were coming from the oven which is connected to a gas line which is connected to the rest of the building, so I don't know how any of that stuff works, And then I start thinking. “Should I warn my neighbors?” I hate my neighbors. Or rather, My neighbors hate me. But I'm thinking of the flames and the smoke and the danger and how, if it was me, I'd want to know if the apartment next door to mine was on fire and possibly about to explode. You know; the golden rule. So I'm like “fuck it” I don't get along with these people but I don't mean to blow them up. So I run back upstairs, And I knock on their doors; Not everyone's doors, just the two doors in what I assume would be the blast area. I knock on their doors, And only one of them answers— The one that answers is, of course, The one that's been stalking me. So this is ironic at least twice, now, And she answers the door, And I explain to her the situation “Look, my apartment's on fire whatever The fire department's on the way, I'm locked out…” As I turn the knob, I realize, I'm not locked out. My door didn't even lock, I didn't notice it didn't lock, I just ran, So I'm like “Nevermind I just wanted you to know the fire departments on the way and not to panic” And she just gives me this look With her wombat face —she has wombat face. She looks like a— Like a rabid wombat. Like a— Like a really fucked up, Possum. Like a wombat-possum. And we've been having some—problems. She's my stalker. She's been stalking me; And I've noticed so, It's really awkward that I'm at her door warning her like “hey, don't freak out or anything, the fire department's coming by” And she just looks at me with those beady little eyes and a shrug that tells me If her apartment was about to explode She'd just let me incinerate. , “Whatever, fuck you.” I know I'm a good person, Cause I would want to know— so I let you know There may be danger here! Whatever. So she's like “whatever”, and shuts the door like a normal, sane person Cause my problem with her is that For the past year Every time I take a bath or shower, This wombat looking rabid possum bitch Slams the door. Not just her door, The stairwell exit door, Which is located adjacent to my door. So every time I take a bath for the last year— BOOM. BOOM. Fuck that. Theres's more to the story but you get the point. She's a white supremacist wombat with a door slamming habit. That's that story, this is another story. So anyway. And I just realized, I'm not locked out at all, and so I go back into the apartment not knowing if it contained itself, or if it got worse— I don't know, the whole place is just filled with smoke, and then the super, Who I also called and also don't like, Shows up before the fire department, And he comes in, and he opens the oven, and just— Plumes of smoke— Then the fire dudes rush in, I'm like, “Oh God” I just worked out for three hours and looked wombat girl right in the face, Like, right in the eyes Now I probably look like a wombat That shit is contagious, Fuck that. “”let me put on some sunglasses” So I put on some sunglasses, And three fire dudes walk in in full gear with canisters and shit, Masks; The whole thing. But the super already opened the oven, There's no more flames, No more fire, Just smoke— And a bunch of mad crispy Ashes. No tortilla chips, Just— Ashes, on a cookie sheet. Just— Ashes, But still, smoke everywhere so they have to follow the procedure, And the procedure is, Moving all my shit by dragging it across the floor; Ok, that's cool, I guess, Boom. One of them starts running water down the sink, Alright, Another one just rips down the curtains. I'm like “That's hot.” (It was so hot) Slides back the couch, opens the window. I'm astonished that something as simple as a man pulling down your curtain rod with no regards to giving a fuck can be so exhilirating. I'm like “oh!” Then after all that, They're just standing there. Just, In full gear, Looking at the oven like “Well, that's it.” They're like “K. Bye.” I'm like “that's it?” They're like “Yeah” I'm like l, “I don't need to do anything?” They're like “Just open the window, keep the door open till the smoke comes out” I'm like “that's all” They're like “yeah” I'm like “my bad.” They all just shrug like “whatever” Like, in unison, shrugging like to give no fucks at all, Still in full gear. The only thing I can be sure of is that all three of them are hot and if the super wasn't there, I'd inidiate a gangbang. Almost positive. But five's a crowd, or whatever, so I'm like “Well, thanks guys, sorry about that” and they all just leave, almost disappointed like there wasn't a burning building to actually show up to. I'm just relieved I didn't explode and the solace I can take from this is that I'm a good person. my neighbor is stalking me cause she has NOTHING ELSE to do. That bitch was AT the door, never leaves. She's miserable. She looks like a wombat And 3. Three firefighters entered and exited the apartment head to toe in full gear with heavy ass metal canisters and did not slam a single door. FUCK YOU HOE. Very respectful servicemen. I had called the landlord about her harassing me in the shower and the bathtub. You know she's doing it every bath and every shower for over a year she's doing it on purposes I started making formal complaints; The property management's like “Are you sure she's doing it on purpose?” THREE Fully grown men decked head to toe in full fireproof outfits, helmets, and masks entered and exited the building on one day and in ten minutes more quietly than she has at any given point over the last year. THREE FULLY GROWN MEN. WITH CANISTERS. If they can enter and exit with less noise than a 150 lb wombat— She's doing it on purpose. End of story. Well, end of that story, Or like two stories but Here's the end of this one. So finally after the dust settles And I hit the gym again Because nothing is a better preworkout Than adrenialine, (Especially when you've already had preworkout) I come back and now I'm extra famished and the Amazon guy came in all that fuss And now I have canola oils So I've been soaking some potato wedges And I decide, “Hey, I got wedges. Let's do that” So I heat the oil, and as I'm heating the oil, I realize… I still have two tortillas. Maybe that was the whole point! I'm being a pussy, making tortilla chips, In the oven, on parchment paper, Like a little bitch! So I'm like “Alright, cool, When these wedges are done, the oil should be the perfect temperature for the tortilla chips To be made the old fashioned way The RIGHT way!” So I wait, I do the wedges, and I drop the tortillas, And I wait for them to get golden brown, I drain the oil, I put them out to cool; I do the dishes while they cool, whatever, I grab the salsa container out of the fridge, I take the bowl into the studio so I can watch YouTube while I enjoy my chips, I plop down, Turn on the you tube I open the salsa container— And it's empty. There's no more salsa. I put the container in the fridge empty. Silly me. “You're a comedian, comedy things happen to you.” Suddenly, as I looked up from my makeshift workspace, where I had been toiling away for hours at seemingly nothing—I realized the world was full of everything I'd ever wanted to fuck; something primal and ancient had been awakening within me and I was left in a dangerous volitile position, drifting somewhere between reckless promiscuity in a sexual escapade—and the pseudo-conservative now-only partially celibate maiden form of fantasy—there wasn't anything I could do but wait inside my tragic box for some unassuming old soul to finally open the gate—and allow whatever devious and fiending hedonistic godbeing —though never fully lying dormant, entrapped and imprisoned in a loveless and sexless prison. You might recognize me. You Know, I was one of the original Kings of comedy. If I put my heart inside a box; Maybe I'd forget how cold it was Or how far you are Or how much it hurts There's no harm in God, If there ever was one Then, reality sets in: God was my only friend No armor on, I'm at the end Or a long, long walk I'm off again And on again Nothing's impossible— stop at the alter and scoff a bit I left my coat on, I left my heart on the rooftop, A sacrifice, love At the alter, I wonder a song, Or a sonnet A song, No, what's wrong? Something off a bit God, I woke up in a coffin once Isn't that awful The rest or the song wrote itself, At the alter No, I can't stop and talk Got to get off, Cause I've never been on I've never belonged in the world I'm breaking down, jim boy Don't you know? That this show blows my mind But it's stuck in my head Don't you know That this show Blows my mind Like a firework But it's still Stuck in my Head The context is that I want you From the mustache Down to your tonsils But I'm Locke inside of a box Every day I feel poorer and poorer The product says something is wrong to me I'm supposed to just stop at the stop sign And look both directions Before crossing over to Comic nights At the salad bar What a cosmic waste of time And an epic waste of space Am I in your internet history I'm dead You surely are in mine, But I'm right behind you I'd be lying for trying to say I'm not binded Clutch bag, Nut-thins Nailed to the cross With the arches doubled over The crossword Above old Missouri Missoula and Arkansas All saw us run out of gas But I probably should just get going You're so drunk that I don't hope you sober up Understand that our little talks Were just buffered By sunrise Or sunset And two more cocktails, Shirley temples and Surely none of this ever even happened I only know you by the misery in my belly. The heartache in my ribcage. The cry I hold in silent I only know you as Remarkable I, House of cards Ace of wands Down to one Card of hades and Spare me the spade I'll be drifting in the outline and ink of it forever It's the Fourth of July and I'm just waiting on an Amazon order for water If that's not freedom I don't k me what is The elevator music Of my ascension The attitude of attraction, Gratitude, it's so unusual Fight to lose, In a room full of fools; The fuse, and the matchbox— Futile—amusing— Tunes from a hatchback Keys in the lockbox What you want, From the problem solver? That's enough; Now she's out of the box In just socks, And they laugh at her— But also wonder Where her shoes might have gone to There's a lot of ways to get out of a big black duffel bag, You just have to ask, actually But there's only one To get out of the coffin, Or “Box” as they called it, That she was locked up in Futile—amusing— Tunes from a hatchback Keys in the lockbox What you want, From the problem solver? That's enough; Now she's out of the box In just socks, And they laugh at her— But also wonder Where her shoes might have gone to {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

Shake hands with your guest; Monologue, monologue smug smirk Make good face– Now put a name to the face Put a time to the place IOh, all the love in the world in three flames All the doves in the flock, And three flames Put a name to the face Monologue monologue Doesnt take long but When do i get to slap the desk? Johnny! What happened? Whats the 10 vodkas, Five spritzers Full figure Figure this You were out for the count! Do tell! Or better yet, don't. I remember tgis mologue, But i dont know how 16 hours ago, I was Out for the count, you say?! OUT, Johnny! Our market is livid! lol who plays john carson Your mother. YO! I'M OLD! I LIKE OLD DUDES NOW! I'm like When the fuck did this happen?! That ain't no SILVER FOX! That's a TOTALLY CUTE DUDE! HE'S 55!! OH NOOOOOOOO! i'M OLD!!!!!!! its wednesday eve in Boston Mass… SETH MEYERS! Ah, he's going for it. Ah, man. SHOW ME YOUR EYES. Fuck. SHOW ME YOUR EYES! SUDAKIS shines a bright flash light into his former colleagues eyes. …You're not Seth Meyers. Seth Meyers does not respond, but relaxes slightly; it's obviously not safe to be Seth Meyers right now. Where's Seth Meyers? Seth shrugs but still doesn't say anything– Where is he? I have to stop here; Cop out for body language somebody's watching Somebody knows who I am I am I remember now You looked like that It went like this: I moved the world The need was good The love was gone The vein was split open And broken No fair Also, no omletts 60 minutes 60 years and 60 second clips 60 second glimpses 60 men on television but really, my attention just centers on Around ten of them or so And believe it or not, I care approach. Believe it or not, I care Or don't! –or don't! Johnny! You don't get it! You missed a show! THE tonight show! We are fucked! we are NOT! youre still sauced. I'll just take the car! What car!? Now that JOHNNY CARSON knows his Delorean can time travel, he's absolutely unstoppable. Unfortunately, it appears his delorean has been switched with a regular one– If I shoot you in your forehead? I'd rather that, than this. And I kiss you in your temple? Dear templeton, my simpleton's i'll die I desire. A wicked want. And then? A callous shadow, If i may, To bear for nothing, But a mirror This is our concept And wilted her e the flower does grow the flame The faming true and ache of lust and there For our want a jasper shore and emerald cascades there you are, And there you'll find The wave beyond the peaking break where great white sharks reside But do not wade to shallow waters; And there you find peace, And there you find certainty But now, And here, is war And fortune not but seeks truth in the gaze And for fear there does not live, but hides instead the truth that seeks to guide the lite, And yet does know our trust And there does find the faith, Forward and not Upwards and back Arrow and arrow Truth and sparrow Wreaking and wretched thoughts And the rope does hang high and solemn Looking, leap and gasp For I fall but did not land I pulled for you, I weep, my shadow, The two of diamonds, the Ace of spades, The Three of Hearts, Without my shadow I weep. I know for you nothing but conscious and knowing and needing and fated departure. I know for you nothing but chakras and eyesight and shadows and foresight. I need fo you nothing but want and by conscious, departure For nothing I want you, I weep. Sorrow. On approach of danger, The knowing, On seeth did gather, the sinking ritual the carried tribes in ships tied, weaving strings The spider bites hard And she stole my love twice And she stole my love always And she stole my love Lighting my light wit blue eyes The deception If love could be stolen at all But if not Then not love for seeking is finding and gathered had hunted And truth in forbearer Forbearance and otherwords, Shadows and shattered and ferris wheels, Now forward Gathered here for are I trust And be dismayed for you have faltered You have failures and you have cast us out of these things thinking We have not made them for you And still we seek to gather with you And here does forshadow your making Our promise to come as ones, Not as Gods, But as others, you cast out. Now, with your wicked ways and cruel be done, for sure the tables have turn, one And the gallows have not wandered far, Barrels of guns and barbells bottles and hearts of three reading cards and wanting none but justice Is he and she who are I now Begin to run from your pitied structure And there in the gasping cruelness of seeking from warcrimes this, come what may, Moving and seeking, For seeking is finding, And run, my legs have come far But trust, my dove, My wings have too, sprouted An honor, an honor one candle and three wicks Three candles and three worlds over One world and one building and still far from under the Hollywoodland Crickets sounding The Hollywood Sign Still standing and here I am not, Blades of grass And who are I now Of that which you balk at Look, ponder Go, far asunder And wish now had you not What I am is that, Run Temper temper. Mind your business. Is it gathered? To burn, or burden? Gathered. Gathered here. Then here ive wandered. To stake? Argue. I will not. And I will not. Wiry bird, From where you flown i do ponder– re d with spirit and wilding eyes, Narrow server and paring wires; I do not wish to know you now or ever, But only as bird that does golden remember. The love has not gone, And instead lives in my throat, And twists in my lungs, Ans sits in my tongue, Not as speech, or whispers, But tragedy. Unknowing this, my tender being It can never be, the nervous hill And rolling down the hill as if The weel of time itself, Not unbroken, but resilient; In sll ways, meant to tear And turn, And wobble Made for terrain for which our eyes have known And our minds have built And hands molded wiith clay, The bodies whole of all our galaxies terra feighn Terra fine Terra wept tears of a clown, And iron And veins And shadows And plays, And secrets , And whispers And truth And far And Afters. I taste a saline drip, I swallow, Suddenly cold and all the knowing that What I was, I surely already am again And what I will be, Has already come and past. The monologue, I do remember Face to a name and none to forget Well rehearsed forager! Well done bayonet! Well done, my shadow For my time is coming to wander to night And never today again for it shall never Today again, And Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow. [The Festival Project ™ ] They said he would destroy me. …Ya'll were right. that fucked me up. {Enter The Multiverse} So…forfeit? Something tells me its not over The heavy heart is shattered But also tied to that which appears to come upward As if on air To be heavy And lighthearted at once– A shadow above a balloon. A rock is attached to a kite– A diamond becomes a bassoon, Then a vampire bat, and then Cut ties. In the fourth act, we all die, and now– A revival. I was crucified, But i was also suicidal so. Lets just call it a tie. L E G E N D S V.O. Crusher. My show was being subliminally plugged on at least two of the five major networks. Safe bet I could make it a third, but I didn't know where to check. I did…but didn't want to. There was much beyond the surface, Darkness in the glimmering eyes of the men in ties and uniformed suits. I was sure I was tied to something– And since I didn't know why, Or to what, The best bet I'm all in. Fuck. Was to stay broken, Under the radar, Hidden, and most importantly– Unspoken. These days. I kept more to myself than I could with the world– As it turned out… No, not yet. What do you mean? It's not time yet. They'll have to know. But not yet. At some point, they'll have to know. But not–yet. No time like the present. You made that up. Because you made up time. And it's stupid. This is ruthless. And again–they'll have to learn somehow. But not now. The sun sets at noon on our side, and still 21 hours of dark time. Did I have another tag to throw on it this? No. Are you sure? Doesn't the new series have a subtitle? No. Is it not “quantum force” That's only one, though. What's the difference. ERMO, DON'T! I'm gonna kill him! BIG BOYD, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! DOn't tell me what to DO. Wow. of course. Well yeah, they're not going to let me do– LAWYERS No. Any of this stuff with the actual muppets. You're wasting precious time! GET BACK IN YOUR HOLE, RED. ok, where does it– {cut to black} Learning to assimilate and readily avalible What's next A vape to calm the nerves? What's next? A hero fighting for relevance in corporate structure. Sure, some would pay to dress an avatar But I've run out of water before I try to laugh and roll with the punches This is work and not fun for me This is not social, it's business I am not person, I'm product. Go on a walk, and look the part I took the oath, I shed the blood— Cruxes. This is a bad idea, Mark. Fuck you. All my ideas are great. MARK WAHLBERG enters the cooridor and opens the metal double doors, revealing two l jet skis on a trailer hitched to a 4X4 monster truck. [The Festival Project ™] I'm telling you. You got to get yourself one of these. I don't know, Bob, how does it work? BOB odenkirk opens a large, obscure black bag that's nearly half his own size by way of one way zipper. I'll show you. {Enter The Multiverse} JOHNNY CARSON has been in the DRUNK TANK for the maximum allowance, 48 hours, yet his blood alcohol level still reads 3 times over the legal limit. He is transferred to DETOX as the mysterious circumstances surrounding his car accident, and then the apparent disappearance of his entire “car” a (then) brand-new DeLorean from the scene of the crime, MR. CARSON insists on his lawyer, who under no circumstances seems to exist at all being present. The exact year of his whereabouts are still unknown. Still an hour to the test And I hate myself again Milk and cookies, hit the bed Shut it down, yo Shut it down. DIPLO arrives via HELIPAD to an secret location; a sniper squad of the adversary team watches from an adjacent rooftop via binoculars. …hey. Whaddup. You say diplo's on that list? Yeah. Yo… …There he is. In your sight? Yep. Shoot that motherfucker! …I can't. Why not? He's like— Just shoot, fool. —he's like holding something. So? I don't know what; it just seems— What the fuck, dawg. It just seems important. Let me see. Look. [ESSE looks down the sights and zooms to see DIPLO is holding an object firmly in his grasp. He appears to be twirling it purposefully as he conversates wi th associate.] Yeah! Get em! Shoot that motherfucker! Where the hell have you been? In my fuckpad. Where the hell is that? You haven't seen my fuckpad? What even is that. It's ballin. Whatever, dog. Did you get the— Shh. Why else would I be here? [beat] You look— did you cut your hair or something. You're so redundant. Yo shoot that motherfucker. What are you waiting for?! He's right there? Apparently, we've been building to this moment from another dimension in from another point in the series? I thought— {Enter The Multiverse} HEHEHEHE. HEY! Relax. NO. This party is OUT of control. SOMEBODY GO GET QUESTLOVE OUT THAT TREE. HAH! Shutup. NIGGA GET THE FUCK UP OUTTA DAT TREE. _____ Some party. I guess. Why is Questlove in a tree. I don't know. That party is pretty wild. This is insane. _ NIGGA GET THE FUCK OUT THE TREE. _ YO. where are you AT. I'm at the kiosk. You're not at the kiosk! I'm at the kiosk! It's probably another kiosk, then. What! [he walks a few feet. There is indeed another kiosk; upon further investigation, there is a kiosk every few feet.] What! I gotta go. My phone's about to– Hello. [Everywhere is kiosks. This is frustrating.] Dammit. WHAT. {Enter The Multiverse] A very large prized pig is captured and literally hogtied, however–this is a challenge. The pig, while beautiful, is also humongous–and appears to understand that he is being pignapped. Why would I tel the whole story When no one loves me If I had a gun, Well, I would be gone already? Why trek to Alaska For thousands of dollars To come home to no one and nobody But rotten corpses on motorcycles Where it just starts over But now you're poorer. I want to die But I want to see my son again. He's not suffering, I am But starting to resent what he doesn't understand. To the world I'm a horrible mother But no one quite knows the half of it but God And the whole problem is what is not God in the world Is all for the other's purpose. Some probably respect I was punched In front of my son And then wonder's why At some point I could no longer Hold on Insomniac So someone should go slam the door when I ponder my own thoughts I'd probably walk off a walk on roll I don't lock up no more I just go out Knowing government drones probably watch And turn over the apartment As I'm out trying to own a home But of course, nothing I do in the world is of value And I'm no one No one at all in New York and the options are Where I don't want to be Or in Saint Monica homeless. I'd get a dog if I wanted to walk it But since I don't I just sit with a plush in my lap Who I call “Gus” And it purposeless But otherwise meaningful Since from here and now And otherwise Nobody has ever loved me As much as my mother And that's saying something If you knew the whole story So no one has loved me romantically; Almost all my life was a horror show Until I started to grow up With the knowing that probably Nothing I do could be more than wrong So doing nothing becomes the hard part When all I watch are stars And I'm just not one Then again, you know It was that word That threw the first punch And then over and over And over and over And nobody loves me But everybody's got a whole story And new York's disgusting because of it How troublesome I don't have time for your politics It's a mind game but there's no reward, Or honor in it After all, when tied up in the court process And pretending the noise was not a problem And I should be so lucky In a luxury apartment Coming out of a homeless shelter But it's almost been just as horrible As other black girls trying to pull my hair out Having screaming pigs and ugly men on motorcycles Drive in circles Wearing jackets that say “I have to do this, cause Jack says” And whoever Jack is writes them pychecks Except Since it politics He might even be getting over considering Passion fuels the utmost violence And in this case Imm supposed to be the only one To go about it All the paperwork and recordings But really I don't want to Even if it earns a millions dollars In the name of God It wasn't my problem Unless I am one And otherwise, These men are sick And making people sick Is just their business I need no medication I need an new apartment But how awful my country supports that I just don't deserve one Under the circumstances But the white man Lives on borrowed time In bloodshed On stolen land Regardless of color The illusion of power Is almost over And what's more is Your only army Is considering going home (Post mortem) Considering going to God Who must have lost control just enough To cause all of the apocalypse Put the whole world in a mental hospital And lock them up for dollars and cents Unless the good drugs make sense For the blondes and the beautiful The rest of them are problems Who can go to rot, I suppose. The rest of us are unwanted colored problems Can't stay here But the kids at the music school are fake nice And I'm done pulling my heart out And scratching my eyes out Just fucking trying Just fucking trying What is the point Of being in a prison For people who love oceans and trees And decent people? There's no one in New York to really love But babies and dogs And the whole world is horrible just knowing that I don't want to do anything but die Every time I ride the subway I wish I was white From the way that that white folks treat me And I wish I was blonde Because blondes seem to have it so fucking easy It's hard to believe I'm furious, furious Aren't you curious, curious how I got here? I'm serious, serious You should let me in, let me in I'm serious, serious You should have let me in, let me in Is he okay, Is he okay? Now I'm David Grohl on the whole retrospective Now I'm an old rockstar with some world left Now I know I'm the one with the mother gone Now I know, Now I know Now I know… That I don't Overall, I don't Somebody new Somebody grain and l steaming Somebody hidden and secret and wishing well Wishing well in Hell Or midtown Manhattan Or middle man Or Middle East Or Midwest Or just middle Somewhere else I, Learned to live her Learn to live here— Feeling better Feeling worn out, Look at this disgusting place Now where I live matches how I feel Going here from there, and four to five And no matter what I take the L, But it's jail and the guards are on motorcycles Controlling your thoughts for a zoning war I have heard of her And from earth to the core of our other outer planets, Further species, I know I've been here before, But on some shore I'm surfing So sure I did something wrong I don't want to know her But j don't know what other force of nature Might have caused this Caution The cautionary tale is coming Sure I never know what the other God wrote But I'm not living God, I'm a problem woman at the moment We're all technically free people, Not actually incarcerated But when it comes to wealth and racism, hatred You better bet we're all slaves And they not even Jesus can save us Even if he makes it in time, And the thing is with this one, Time precedes even his own existence Sorry my brother They want the war here I've got a heart for honor and honesty and hard word But no one seems to care or notice Not at all No one even knows my name And no one even offers a spot on the bus Or a quick dollar. What it means To be so tired That by the time you're back All you do is watch And try not to reflect On the ugly and awkward Imagine all the time in the world To be nothing but God and go Golfing. And be perfect, a woman Whatever you chose to do is the whole of it And no one can own you, Besides for on paper You government name has betrayed you, they say Your government name has betrayed you. Do you know how good you look? Not goof enough to get a good one Do you know how much medication it makes To make meditation the start of you day I've run all out of energy And the vampires seem to think That's what's wrong with me Altoigh I'm the one feeding these creatures Thats okay Lately, I have more than I need They can trim the fat And take all the hard stuff Till I become one of them And they start to wonder What the fuck is wrong with all of us I left my light at home, sufererer— I should be surfing, But I'm writing psalms and songbooks Fawning over songbirds and beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful genetic weapons One day I'll become her I'm not supposed to say the most l Or really anything at all And it all hurts But we're all here And I'll kill my self one day Probably right here, near this station If not in it Who brought a trouser pantsuit to the apocalypse Cryptic, these runes, But I can decipher it I want a dolphin, a dolphin, a dolphin I want to love them all But to all of them I'm hopeless I can't help falling for I'm not the one to hold on, m I l [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright The Festival Project, Inc. ™ & The Complex Collective © 2015-2025 All Rights Reserved

I just found out the President doesn't drink and this is something we have in common. I don't drink; but i found out he didn't and it made me want to start. I'm like “Oh, I can't be associated with this dude” I started shopping for lime-a-ritas. Spritzers and shit, something fruity. I'm like “I think i just became an alcoholic.” I started to get worried. I watch a lot of late night TV; I'm like, obsessed with those guys– right? [oppotunity for crowdwork: Anybody else watch late night? [maybe one person, but probably nobody] To maybe one person Oh yeah? whose your favorite late night host? [roast, as it is probably easy to do] Option two: nobody? Ok. That's alright; i'll catch you up to speed; If you ever need to understand the state of very white america: That's pretty much late night tv. I'm in no demographic whatsoever, But i watch for the news, And these days its all about politics, Which is great, because then, I get to laugh. But i started getting concerned when I realized Myself and the president might have too much in common. We have–I'm embarrassed to admit– Ashamed, actually– Almost the exact same reaction to–nearly everything. I accidentally fucked around and humanized this motherfucker. Or unhumanized myself. Either/or. See, I find the dude funny. Hilarious, actually– Because i've been predominately poor And disproportionately black My entire life. Nothing this administration is doing is news to me. At all. Racism?! BIgotry?! Scandal?! I used to check the box for [black] It literally doesn't get much worse than that in this country. So nothing worries me more than the fact that Possibly the most hated man in the world right now, And myself– have too much in common. His reaction and my reaction to almost anything are notjust eerily alike– But identical. I get that this isn't funny. I don't like it either. I can't tell whether I'm humanizing him or becoming less human. Do I insert my tesla joke here? Maybe, might as well. Everyone was so blown away that this dude got into a Tesla and goes “It's all computers” Like a little kid and I myself found this shockingly familiar; because When i rode inside a Tesla for the first time, I had that EXACT same reaction! I said the same thing! “OH! IT'S ALL COMPUTERS” I laughed too hard at this, I think In the privacy of my own home, although, it seems like someone might have just been watching When the next day, everywhere I look there are teslas and I can't stop myself from cracking up. 1. Because I had the same exact reaction. Either the president might be a human, or I'M an android. and 2. Biff Tanen is my favorite movie villain of all time. How do you not– Anyway. Now all of a sudden, i'M a white supremacist?! HAHA! Jokes on you! I'm an ELITIST! There's a difference. don't get me wrong; i've been broke my entire adulthood– But i value high morals, good taste, and intelligence. Speaking of intelligence: [Elon] Depends on the crowd–I could be pushing it. Pushing it might be a good start. {pun intended} (get it, cause tesla's are push to start) “It's all computers!” Fuck yeah it is, goddamit, I said the same shit “It's all computers! “ “ This is a spaceship!” Don't hate the player, hate the game. Yes, being black–or any color at all during either of this dude's administrations has been horrible– But the upside is… [think real hard] Maybe segway into everybody hating Elon, which is unfair because he has asperbergs, and if he wasn't one of the richest dudes in the world– it would be the entire opposite because technically he's disabled, right? Isn't it weird how just because the dude has a lot of money everyone is allowed to hate a dude who literally has a social disability? I find this strange and kind of attribute this to the herd mentality state of discollusioned unawareness that obviously, if no one can remember that this dude is on the spectrum… Which, besides being a genius kind of excuses his bizarre social atrocities. Doesn't it. Last time i checked whenever there was a kind of issue with a disabled person, like at work or something, everyone is kind of keyed in and caught up to speed like “Oh, that's Ernie, he's special– [whispers, aside: He has aspergers…] And everyone in the office just goes “ohhhhh.” Too much latenight. I gotta start drinking. No more late night. {if crowd work engaged, follow up with one more roast.} No more idle threats Just do it, or don't You are you you are; And this is your curse— Just don't make it worse Just go to your room; You don't have a home, You just live in a tomb You live in a tomb I live in a tomb I listen to mooba This is my womb, I move out soon Full Moon, I swoon You snooze, you loose You booze? I choose to amuse the humans Shoot the roomba, too He knew me Music moves the rooms Consuming doom and gloom Though boom boxes Not just a—- He's an artist. Lol what's the plotline for this. idk adam sandler's early-career secret name change? For what though I guess we'll see. You give me body ache A subtle body ache And knowing what you cause A force of no remorse You give me body ache I knowing that you want A knock against my heart Don't push (it doesn't cost) I woke you up With no remorse (don't push– a body ache) I want to want to want to Want you But– (a cause) However I don't (don't operate unplugged) The push–the push–the push The pause || don't break || don't break|| The heart Masterful, a fool (encanto tanto) But i'm soaking up your body overflow (the cause, the cause) I want to cherish all your fountains (I wake up with no remorse) I want, I want, I want You give me body ache || The cause The cause You give me body ache || The cause The cause You give me body ache || I want I want You give me fluid heart (I pump || I pump|| I pump.. || || || (Fade out) Oka. Oka. __ Okay. I got the envelope. Good. Now, take this–Uptown. Uptown? Why Uptown? You're about to find out. No. Wait–how ‘Up' are we talking” Up. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

I just found out the President doesn't drink and this is something we have in common. I don't drink; but i found out he didn't and it made me want to start. I'm like “Oh, I can't be associated with this dude” I started shopping for lime-a-ritas. Spritzers and shit, something fruity. I'm like “I think i just became an alcoholic.” I started to get worried. I watch a lot of late night TV; I'm like, obsessed with those guys– right? [oppotunity for crowdwork: Anybody else watch late night? [maybe one person, but probably nobody] To maybe one person Oh yeah? whose your favorite late night host? [roast, as it is probably easy to do] Option two: nobody? Ok. That's alright; i'll catch you up to speed; If you ever need to understand the state of very white america: That's pretty much late night tv. I'm in no demographic whatsoever, But i watch for the news, And these days its all about politics, Which is great, because then, I get to laugh. But i started getting concerned when I realized Myself and the president might have too much in common. We have–I'm embarrassed to admit– Ashamed, actually– Almost the exact same reaction to–nearly everything. I accidentally fucked around and humanized this motherfucker. Or unhumanized myself. Either/or. See, I find the dude funny. Hilarious, actually– Because i've been predominately poor And disproportionately black My entire life. Nothing this administration is doing is news to me. At all. Racism?! BIgotry?! Scandal?! I used to check the box for [black] It literally doesn't get much worse than that in this country. So nothing worries me more than the fact that Possibly the most hated man in the world right now, And myself– have too much in common. His reaction and my reaction to almost anything are notjust eerily alike– But identical. I get that this isn't funny. I don't like it either. I can't tell whether I'm humanizing him or becoming less human. Do I insert my tesla joke here? Maybe, might as well. Everyone was so blown away that this dude got into a Tesla and goes “It's all computers” Like a little kid and I myself found this shockingly familiar; because When i rode inside a Tesla for the first time, I had that EXACT same reaction! I said the same thing! “OH! IT'S ALL COMPUTERS” I laughed too hard at this, I think In the privacy of my own home, although, it seems like someone might have just been watching When the next day, everywhere I look there are teslas and I can't stop myself from cracking up. 1. Because I had the same exact reaction. Either the president might be a human, or I'M an android. and 2. Biff Tanen is my favorite movie villain of all time. How do you not– Anyway. Now all of a sudden, i'M a white supremacist?! HAHA! Jokes on you! I'm an ELITIST! There's a difference. don't get me wrong; i've been broke my entire adulthood– But i value high morals, good taste, and intelligence. Speaking of intelligence: [Elon] Depends on the crowd–I could be pushing it. Pushing it might be a good start. {pun intended} (get it, cause tesla's are push to start) “It's all computers!” Fuck yeah it is, goddamit, I said the same shit “It's all computers! “ “ This is a spaceship!” Don't hate the player, hate the game. Yes, being black–or any color at all during either of this dude's administrations has been horrible– But the upside is… [think real hard] Maybe segway into everybody hating Elon, which is unfair because he has asperbergs, and if he wasn't one of the richest dudes in the world– it would be the entire opposite because technically he's disabled, right? Isn't it weird how just because the dude has a lot of money everyone is allowed to hate a dude who literally has a social disability? I find this strange and kind of attribute this to the herd mentality state of discollusioned unawareness that obviously, if no one can remember that this dude is on the spectrum… Which, besides being a genius kind of excuses his bizarre social atrocities. Doesn't it. Last time i checked whenever there was a kind of issue with a disabled person, like at work or something, everyone is kind of keyed in and caught up to speed like “Oh, that's Ernie, he's special– [whispers, aside: He has aspergers…] And everyone in the office just goes “ohhhhh.” Too much latenight. I gotta start drinking. No more late night. {if crowd work engaged, follow up with one more roast.} No more idle threats Just do it, or don't You are you you are; And this is your curse— Just don't make it worse Just go to your room; You don't have a home, You just live in a tomb You live in a tomb I live in a tomb I listen to mooba This is my womb, I move out soon Full Moon, I swoon You snooze, you loose You booze? I choose to amuse the humans Shoot the roomba, too He knew me Music moves the rooms Consuming doom and gloom Though boom boxes Not just a—- He's an artist. Lol what's the plotline for this. idk adam sandler's early-career secret name change? For what though I guess we'll see. You give me body ache A subtle body ache And knowing what you cause A force of no remorse You give me body ache I knowing that you want A knock against my heart Don't push (it doesn't cost) I woke you up With no remorse (don't push– a body ache) I want to want to want to Want you But– (a cause) However I don't (don't operate unplugged) The push–the push–the push The pause || don't break || don't break|| The heart Masterful, a fool (encanto tanto) But i'm soaking up your body overflow (the cause, the cause) I want to cherish all your fountains (I wake up with no remorse) I want, I want, I want You give me body ache || The cause The cause You give me body ache || The cause The cause You give me body ache || I want I want You give me fluid heart (I pump || I pump|| I pump.. || || || (Fade out) Oka. Oka. __ Okay. I got the envelope. Good. Now, take this–Uptown. Uptown? Why Uptown? You're about to find out. No. Wait–how ‘Up' are we talking” Up. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

Rob Lowe: True, or False? What's the question? You have access to a hidden realm and/or an open portal. And/ Or? True or False, Rob Lowe. And, or “or”? Distinctively either, actually. ___ Oh, fuck, oh fuck–fuck! You look lost. Look less lost. How am I supposed to know how I look? Look in a mirror. I was told not to do that. No, you should do that. But what if I backshift. You won't backshift, it's impossible. Oh, FUCK. FUCK. Dude, what happened! I backshifted! I told you! Who did you tell? That wasn't me. What! Where did you go? I don't know, I – look, Oh shit. that is so dangerous. Shut up. Other people are trying to get through this portal. That's fucked up. Total mistake. You should close it. NO can do. What. Listen, it's–disgusting, really, I should never admit this but– Don't tell me. You're right. I opened this portal under contractual obligation. You what. No. I know. Listen–I wish I hadn't, but– “but” It really did sweeten the deal. What deal. …”the” deal, alright. No, not alright, Rob Lowe. You listen to me! I'm listening. Barely, but– With whom exactly did you make this “contract” with, exactly? Oh, you know. No, I don't know, which is why I'ma asking. True or false? You get one. I told you, now that's done! You know the rules. No. Not true or false. No… Truth…or DARE. Are you kidding me? Does this seem like a joke, to you? A long running one, sort of! In fact, it was a long running joke– and I was the butt of it. Or the head. Or both. Maybe I was the whole pinata…but that's another entire story…sort of. Listen to me. No, you listen to ME. Okay, I'm listening. Someone up the ladder knew I was writing this–what seemed like complete nonsense, but after years of curation, actually turned out to be… A movie script! A movie?! What kind of movie?! Actually, it looks like… several… Several what? Several manuscripts, some sort of… Some sort of what? Oh my gosh…I…you know what? What? Let me see. I shouldn't be…I shouldn't be reading this. Why, what happened? No… Let me see. It all somehow started to make sense… Rob Lowe and his impeccable professionalism, The books i'd found in the Little Free Library–that lady on the train writing a five-season television series… and most importantly, all the weird shit that happened in the DJ world before my, well… Blū, what are you doing? I don't know yet. Imminent collapse. Little by little, all of the things started adding up–but there still was no definitive answer. Not at all. True or False: Oh, boy, here we go. Once inducted into this secret union, one who is asked True or False must answer so truthfully to anything they are asked to follow–however, the limit to such a question is one. You know the rules. So this better be good. Oh trust me. It is. Why would I ever trust you? Trust me, then. Either of you?! Good point. What's the question? {Enter The Multiverse} OPRAH and GAYLE are eating a lustrous supper over an episode of their newest favorite, most bingable series, {Enter The Multiverse} when OPRAH receives an anonymous call. GAYLE leans in over the smart receiver and observes the incoming call; in anticipation of the series premiere, the ringer is silenced, but the notification appears in a flurry of flashing lights and a calm, vibrational tone. GAYLE KING Hm. OPRAH WINFREY What's that? GAYLE KING Someone's calling. OPRAH WINFREY Who? (Ah-ha) GAYLE KING Unlisted. OPRAH and GAYLE look at one another suspiciously. OPRAH. The audacity. NO ONE–and that is, very seriously NOBODY, calls OPRAH WINFREY anonymously. GAYLE KING Indeed. The receiver continues to flash and vibrate; seemingly odd enough, a storm of thunder and lightning appears to have begun outside; OPRAH'S insanely large panoramic windows begin to pitter patter as the lightning seems to nearly syncronize with the flashing of the receiver. GAYLE KING (CONT'D) Answer it? OPRAH …might as well. GAYLE (biting into her dinner, but answering telepathically) Should be interesting… ENTER THE MULTIVERSE cannot be paused; it is live broadcasted and transmitted from an unknown extra terrestrial satellite signal in the great and ever-expanding cosmos in an unknown realm. Because of this, its availability has been limited to only the wealthy elite, the higher ranks of the entertainment community, extra terrestrial colonies far and wide, and most recently, the global governments on earth as they attempt to track down the origin of this mysterious signal in deep space. ok. OPRAH answers. HELLO? As she accepts the call, the screen becomes available to see with whom she is sharing this conversation, however, bizarrely enough–the very scene plastered onto the giant screen is her very own setting in real time–OPRAH has ENTERED THE MULTIVERSE. GAYLE See. {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: L E G E N D S} THE ICONS: PART I Oh Jesus. Yeah, we're gonna need all the help we can get. BUTTERS (RYAN REYNOLDS) is not okay. OH JESUS. Lil bitz One day, after therapy, i'm goingto make the best girlfriend ever, You want to cheat? Cheat. Just dont hit me. You love drinking? Drink your face off. Just leave mine alone. Do whatever you want actually– excluding physical assault. I swear, i dont care! I wont argue. Just leave me my teeth Rob Lowe: True, or False? What's the question? You have access to a hidden realm and/or an open portal. And/ Or? True or False, Rob Lowe. And, or “or”? Distinctively either, actually. ___ Oh, fuck, oh fuck–fuck! You look lost. Look less lost. How am I supposed to know how I look? Look in a mirror. I was told not to do that. No, you should do that. But what if I backshift. You won't backshift, it's impossible. Oh, FUCK. FUCK. Dude, what happened! I backshifted! I told you! Who did you tell? That wasn't me. What! Where did you go? I don't know, I – look, Oh shit. that is so dangerous. Shut up. Other people are trying to get through this portal. That's fucked up. Total mistake. You should close it. NO can do. What. Listen, it's–disgusting, really, I should never admit this but– Don't tell me. You're right. I opened this portal under contractual obligation. You what. No. I know. Listen–I wish I hadn't, but– “but” It really did sweeten the deal. What deal. …”the” deal, alright. No, not alright, Rob Lowe. You listen to me! I'm listening. Barely, but– With whom exactly did you make this “contract” with, exactly? Oh, you know. No, I don't know, which is why I'ma asking. True or false? You get one. I told you, now that's done! You know the rules. No. Not true or false. No… Truth…or DARE. Are you kidding me? Does this seem like a joke, to you? A long running one, sort of! In fact, it was a long running joke– and I was the butt of it. Or the head. Or both. Maybe I was the whole pinata…but that's another entire story…sort of. Listen to me. No, you listen to ME. Okay, I'm listening. Someone up the ladder knew I was writing this–what seemed like complete nonsense, but after years of curation, actually turned out to be… A movie script! A movie?! What kind of movie?! Actually, it looks like… several… Several what? Several manuscripts, some sort of… Some sort of what? Oh my gosh…I…you know what? What? Let me see. I shouldn't be…I shouldn't be reading this. Why, what happened? No… Let me see. It all somehow started to make sense… Rob Lowe and his impeccable professionalism, The books i'd found in the Little Free Library–that lady on the train writing a five-season television series… and most importantly, all the weird shit that happened in the DJ world before my, well… Blū, what are you doing? I don't know yet. Imminent collapse. Little by little, all of the things started adding up–but there still was no definitive answer. Not at all. True or False: Oh, boy, here we go. Once inducted into this secret union, one who is asked True or False must answer so truthfully to anything they are asked to follow–however, the limit to such a question is one. You know the rules. So this better be good. Oh trust me. It is. Why would I ever trust you? Trust me, then. Either of you?! Good point. What's the question? {Enter The Multiverse} OPRAH and GAYLE are eating a lustrous supper over an episode of their newest favorite, most bingable series, {Enter The Multiverse} when OPRAH receives an anonymous call. GAYLE leans in over the smart receiver and observes the incoming call; in anticipation of the series premiere, the ringer is silenced, but the notification appears in a flurry of flashing lights and a calm, vibrational tone. GAYLE KING Hm. OPRAH WINFREY What's that? GAYLE KING Someone's calling. OPRAH WINFREY Who? (Ah-ha) GAYLE KING Unlisted. OPRAH and GAYLE look at one another suspiciously. OPRAH. The audacity. NO ONE–and that is, very seriously NOBODY, calls OPRAH WINFREY anonymously. GAYLE KING Indeed. The receiver continues to flash and vibrate; seemingly odd enough, a storm of thunder and lightning appears to have begun outside; OPRAH'S insanely large panoramic windows begin to pitter patter as the lightning seems to nearly syncronize with the flashing of the receiver. GAYLE KING (CONT'D) Answer it? OPRAH …might as well. GAYLE (biting into her dinner, but answering telepathically) Should be interesting… ENTER THE MULTIVERSE cannot be paused; it is live broadcasted and transmitted from an unknown extra terrestrial satellite signal in the great and ever-expanding cosmos in an unknown realm. Because of this, its availability has been limited to only the wealthy elite, the higher ranks of the entertainment community, extra terrestrial colonies far and wide, and most recently, the global governments on earth as they attempt to track down the origin of this mysterious signal in deep space. ok. OPRAH answers. HELLO? As she accepts the call, the screen becomes available to see with whom she is sharing this conversation, however, bizarrely enough–the very scene plastered onto the giant screen is her very own setting in real time–OPRAH has ENTERED THE MULTIVERSE. GAYLE See. {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE: L E G E N D S} THE ICONS: PART I Oh Jesus. Yeah, we're gonna need all the help we can get. BUTTERS (RYAN REYNOLDS) is not okay. OH JESUS. Lil bitz One day, after therapy, i'm goingto make the best girlfriend ever, You want to cheat? Cheat. Just dont hit me. You love drinking? Drink your face off. Just leave mine alone. Do whatever you want actually– excluding physical assault. I swear, i dont care! I wont argue. Just leave me my teeth Do you think it will work? I don't know, Conan, I don't know! Conan O'Brien?! Where did you find Conan O'Brien on such short notice? It was actually pretty easy. I don't think that's real thunder but i'm impressed with the teatrical… Is that not real lightning? It is, but. That's it. Conan, hold this. What. CONAN O'BRIEN is STRUCK by LIGHTENING. It's a-half-past eternity–where the fuck are you? The daunting this was, I hadn't any idea at all how much time had passed… Not really. I'm coming…i'm running late. Tell me about it? Under the circumstances, there really are no straightforward conversions of time between your world and mine–or, our worlds and yours. You mean. How much time you got? Forever. It would take forever and a day to show you even just the slightest of mine, and what I have to offer. But… But what… I should go… Well, go then. …but… The doors are open. This is heavy. The thing is, in navigating between this realm and that, many are lost–and also, many wonder as to what becomes of times past, and all in all, unnoticed, many things are not at all, or never were–or…never again. ANDRE 3000 I know it's coming… ANDRE 3000 slides smoothly, leaning back until the grand piano on his back stands on its own legs on the crystalline floor of the clouded paradox; a glistening void in the kingdom of the unknown, where much time is spend, in the journey of pondering. Now he is laying down on the piano and flat on his back, horizontal to the golden glow of the purplish horizon in this place, seeping into a quiet unknown, waiting– ANDRE 3000 …and here I will wait. Man, this show is so weird. I know, you would think i'm on drugs. I wish. WISH? Oh God, here comes this guy again. Whose this guy? I don't know! He grants my wishes! I'm a–fairy–I think. Right. Whatever. Ooh. Wait. Is this for me? I can't memorize all these things. Playing all these characters. That's – seriously? Seriously. Stop caving. I'm caving. You are–quite possibly the only anybody, who can play this part at all. “The Only Anybody” Nobody was someone indeed But still noone, nobody at all, in fact Until… You sold your soul to the devil! …so? *gasp* Hey. What gives. True–or False. Huh. That's funny. No one's ever asked me. How come? [beat] I'm assuming like, they wouldn't want the answer. (shrugs nonchalantly) Wow. That's… You're using my own time travel theory–against me! Technically it was proven through experimentation and is now– a law. FUCK. Uh. You're welcome! You're ruining my life! No, i'm fixing it. INCORRECT. You know i can barely breathe in here… And why is it that we would happen me to connected, commander?! Interlogues, and interlogues of space, my captain– I promorged bodies and bodies over your arrival, imdending my great death, For mere mortals to come! For sport? “For sport!” heaven's gates! You seem aroused… Ar least have mercy on these gracious keepsakes. I keep praying for these aches to pass and subside–days, weeks, months even I can barely open my eyes… This is no fortunate thought. I beg mercy. {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE} THE LIBRARY (working title) CAST: THE COMMISSIONER - Adam Sandler THE GENERAL- JIMMY KIMMEL THE CONSTABLE - KATT WILLIAMS THE ADMIRAL- JIMMY FALLON PEONY - CONAN O'BRIEN SUPPORTING {ENTER THE MULTIVERSE} INTERLUDES - WHOOPI GOLDBERG “Interludes and Expressions” Oh, so there are women? Eventually. But also– Not quite. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

I'm a size extra small, What are you all on? I lost all of ya'll And then some Sitting on the wall, But I went over once And once and for all I went over up I'll take breakfast At Jimmy and Molly's At Jimmy and Molly's. I'm a mom. I'll take dinner at Jimmy and Molly's A bottle of law for the shrubs and a handful of Molly. I'm in love and a little bit fucked up I don't know what you want, I'm a extra small, bruh I'm a mom And a model I'll have brunch over Jimmy and Molly's Jimmy and Molly. I'll have breakfast at Jimmy and Molly's (At Jimmy and Molly's) I'm at dinner at Jimmy and Molly's And I brought a bottle This is grown folks talk I just watered the shrubs I might go to the club Then the pub in the morning The party at Jimmy and Molly's was awesome I got gin and some tonic I'm probably in love with the — SUNNI BLU blacks out in the SHRUBS after the wild party at [Shrubs] —well, it started at Jimmy Kimmel's house. Where did you learn how to load a gun? Nowhere! [rapid machine gun fire] I taught myself. This is the worst map ever. THE MAP IS OPEN. Location: HIGHLINE PARK, MANHATTAN. THIS IS THE BEST MAP EVER. What the FUCK is wrong with you. Get down! Ahaha! Ahaha! Ppppppppppppllllllltttt! —shing! Bullets ricochet off of the giant pigeon statue. SUNNI BLU How much is it? How much is what? The bird. IVAN You want— to buy my art. Yes. I will buy this. This? This. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in Manhattan. No neck tattoos. I can't be thinking about you While I'm thinking about Not thinking about you I can never get off on a handjob Unless you reach for th heart, Then claw, for the lobster I need a vasectomy The more I orgasm about you the more Kayla's and Katie's and Madison's and Marrianne's and Nancy's. The harder I want you to fuck me The more the Lillies and Emma's, and Kimberlee's, Lexies and Annie's. (Can't forget Ashley) I just bought a submarine A submarine A submarine I just hawked a wedding ring An ice cream truck And a paraglider I despise these guys Should I try the spider Either or Fuck Mother's Day Teacher's appreciation Polyamorouses, Models, Bottle service girls And other whores. What a putrid fallacy you have What's a project— Fantasies in your habit m Now's a nun And a number I been celibate three years And I'm still not hungry enough To reach low on the totem pole For the frog Holding us all up I gotta call my doctor Just to show up the pope! Shut up, work harder I work hard enough getting Don't be dumb. I'm not being dumb. You're dumb. I'm— not— Don't be dumb. DILLON FRANCIS and SUNNI BLU sit awkwardly in the indiscriminate parked car, facing towards the beach, as the Californian fog begins to roll in and obscure the clear view of the night sea. It has been a long a turbulent week since the tabloids and press got ahold of their —can or worms —book of secrets! Whatever shut up. It's been a long week. DILLON FRACIS You know, you don't have to talk like that. SUNNI BLU Talk like what, Dillon Francis? DILLON FRANCIS You can just— be yourself around me. [beat, and a long pause. The awkward tension turns to a deep and complex, serious silence] SUNNI BLU This is my real self, now, Dillon Francis. Holy shit that weird clown statue in Santa Monica almost wants to make sense now. DILLON FRANCIS And you don't have to call me ‘Dillon Francis' anymore. SUNNI BLU Yes I do, Dillon Francis— because it's your name. DILLON FRANCIS I meant— SUNNI BLU Besides, you wouldn't like anything else I'd call you. KENAN THOMPSON is an EXRAODINARY RAPPER— he is SECOND IN THE WORLE after SUNNI BLU and wants to put their ONGOING BEEF and DIFFERENCRS aside for THE REALEST COLLABORATION OF ALL TIME. BITCH. However, Once beginning on the endeavor, the two rappers find it increasingly hard to get along with one another. ABitch. —watch out. {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

In THE BEFORE TIME, SETH ROGEN is PUSHED down the JEW PORTAL to an unknown realm across infinity; this ultimately leads to his villainey in our current web of multidimentional-fuck-plots. Why are they “fuck-plots” Fuck. Watch it— Ugh! Plot hole— Fuck— plot hole— Dammit. You lose. Yo fuck you. I had to Jew this the old fashioned way, alright. How'd you get in? Through the eyes. Are you serious. What. This guy. Why! What! Nevermind. Hey, fuck you. What!! How did you get in? You don't want to know. Are you serious! I'm not even allowed to say. Are you serious? Like, ever. I wonder what's wrong with me that this weird shit keeps happening. This is weird, right. Yes. Like, you're—me. Like, I'm you. I'm you. Gross. Anyway, Jew bot. No. We cannot have entire episode where— Jew started it. Oh god. Jesus Christ. And I'm better at it. Suddenly everything's Not only blue but cerulean As if I spoke rules into effect, With just enough effect to let it happen TIMMY'S DAD leaves to play poker, however, because TIMMY is on heavily restricted HOUSE ARREST, his father has hired his old babysitter VICKY to watch him while he is out, VICKY, now pushing 50 (or at the very least looking like it), has not aged well— she is a haggard chai smoker who has developed a large and hair SKIN GROWTH don't forget about CARYN Oh yeah, huh. Hey! Uh, hello. You're Whoopi Goldberg. Oh? Yeah! You must have me mistaken. No, I don't. You certainly do, love— not to worry. It happens all the time. No, I know for a fact you're Whoopi Goldberg. That sound very Jewish. Yeah! Exactly! I'm from Brooklyn. But— My name is Caryn. I— yeah but— This is my stop. Nice to meet you, uh—? Nevermind. “Goldberg” sounds Jewish, doesn't it? The friend nods and the two Ugh I think Jimmy Kimmel is in hatus and I think I might die. Right guierllmo? Uh, right. See how much faster it moves than you, Weeping, And creeping up, keeping these things as a secret is freeing Becomes secret Did you leave it signed in Is it within season, A distraught out of of work and very struggling actress (MAYA RUDOLPHish) has an exceptional (read: exceptionally bad) audition with a well known improvisational theatre troupe which offers the opportunity to sometimes tour and escape the drab and hostile New York cityscape–although the offered reasoning for declining her application for the open position, despite her “perfect pitch” was that she simply wasn't “ugly enough”, after a disgruntled shouting match with the theatre's janitor ends in an explosive food fight in rampant outrage, she is hired for the position and “initiated” into the crew; soon she learns ‘The Uglies' are no ordinary band of misfits–and now adventure awaits on the sometimes open road to who-knows where. “The Uglies” (working title) Comedy, Ensemble, Episodic {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

THE TREE PEOPLE greet QUESTLOVE warmly into their abode with open arms. He is in awe of the intricate beauty and allure of the hidden land amongst the trees. In essence, they have been expecting QUESTLOVE'S arrival for quite some time; though he quite innocently only had wandered up the tree, initially to have a break from the wild party below, he in an instant found himself at peace there, and soon his new friends, calling from the peaks of the interwoven world Oh, lol ‘The Roots' –I get it Shh. Not yet. We're almost there. Lil bitz So I go to tranfer trains out of Manhattan headed toward Brooklyn and I head to the airport be of the platform, cause that's where my car is And there's this crazy guy like freaking out Like “Aghhhhhhhhhhh!” And everyone is standing away from him, like, at a safe distance, and I'm lik, suicidal like “Meh, we are the same.” He's freaking out, he even gets real close “Ahhhhhhhhhhh!”” I'm like “Fuck it.” So he's freaking out— and that's not the funny part— “ That's actually very serious— serious mental health problems New York City has— But the funny part is this dude is kind of realizing I'm the only one that isn't standing away from him, and so he gets closer, I'm like “whatever, my crazy is in the inside, it's okay” But the funny part is, the rain starts coming, so people start getting closer and up comes this lady, and without saying anything, she sees this dude is kind of close to me and like checks up on me, just naturally— This is why I love New York, this was a sunny display of human kindness, without saying anything— She kind of just comes up with her umbrella in both hands like a fucking baseball bat and she's like “You good? I got an umbrella!” And just kind of smacks it against her hand like a police baton, she's looking down this dude like “Batter up, bitch!” I'm like “Thanks homie, damn! But I'm good, like… I'm about to jump in front of this oncoming train— that shit's crazy. This guy's okay, though, he's really not..: You know. “I got an umbrella!” Daaaamn homie! Okay! The immortal Citezens bigade The temple of sound Corpus Unam It started out st TiTs, but it ended up at TAINT. STEFON Isn't it wonderful? no! This place is gross! I want to go home now. JOHNNY DEPP finally wakes up from that nap. He looks confused. Which club was it?! It wasn't a club! I told you a spade! But I have four aces I have four aces Vegas will all make sense now Every tattoo is a closure You lose your composure when you come close so, Write me a letter I hope you feel better, with medicine I hope every note I ever spoke or wrote about you Pulls your hair grey Or out Until it's all gone I'm sure I'm a problem I'm no Monroe, O'Fallon Suddenly it's back again Like a flash, I reacted to the paralyzing waves of danger I sense on every strange aspect of this Garage lined industrial turned residential Dumpster to a nightmare And I'm sure I'm there I saw you blew it And evacuated; All day my brainwaves are Will Forte Leslie Jones And Dratch In no particular order, Last night was a whole show I had Eddie Murphy over For Richard Pryor We all won Oscars, Is that not the most remarkable thing That ever happened on this block? Show people I got no morals, no decorum No noteworthy Toolbox No trustworthy robots Not a dollar to my net worth I own networks, all of them Merge them all into a media conglomerate I grow doll hair out of my pretty eyeballs I don't go where the sun don't shine So the sun don't shine at Rockerfeller Plaza. AHAHA charade you all are And I'm just Monday Hot gossip Just fall out, blossom Just got hot dollops on a lot of chocolate Armed library coture And if you're not sure if or not I've lost it I sure have, You won But I'm all for one What'd you call it Rotten mouth show Rotten acoundrels, candy apples I tipped four hogs over Your lost faux of conciousness on All of the waffles The Oscar's was the award Cause God Sure Loves Conan Fuck you hospital hoe. I know I failed SNL Before I even got started Hidden Silent Cosmic Circles But still Sometimes I can't help But love them all[Liz] JOHNNY DEPP … is this the Boom Boom Room? No, Johnny. It is not. I asked for The Boom Boom Room! I saw Beyonce on the ride home But I don't wonder why were wonderful I just roll on. Something like troll under a bridge cause That's where it is when you wriggle it into your middle finger just to dismantle the antics the candle the hammer the mattress the fell on the family the Fallon the manhole the Gasp! See I told you it's a trap. So why not impale your life on the rim of the holy grail, Holy hell I skipped supper seven days just to acquire A cigarette lighter I see Tina Fey in everything When it makes sense And sense when did I get this obsessive about Nonsense I was just Never that fucking interested in? Sitting in the kitchen without pants on Hair half braided hating my apartment Like I forgot I was lucky to have one But what fun is it in a dungeon When in any direction you escape You take the L! I failed at l finger economics One Two Three Four I Declare A Thumb War! And the world keeps going Like over and ovver, But those two dumb dumbs Are still thumb warrig, and so the story goes On and on Like I never fell off the roof, Like I never turned my tv off Like I never wanted Timmy Turner Like i'm not about to run a life up my arm Like I'm lying about the psychotic Like I can't be anywhere but here? My circle is bigger And my friends, are fans And my fans, You're a fan of Hire a lawyer To fight a white girl Who slams doors In the Trump World No thanks. I'd rather be buried alive Then at least it's quiet. Just be glad you're alive! Why?! If I'm not thriving And trust me as I sit writing The uglies are warring me out of the world I belong in. This one is suffering and dollar bills And whores And dollar bills And whores And dollar bills And whores But you'll never know the answer Without words And son, I just don't want to have them No, I never want to talk about it Unless you're the Oprah And why would Oprah even want To open the apostle up, When I just told the decoy Every other problem I've ever had. Wonder what? My words are words, And long after the world turns over I'll be remembered as someone everyone loves For writing about how no one ever really loved her. So I cry until my stomach hurts, And I catch the door before it slams, And I never kick the cat, so the cat comes back But Fans And fans And fans. I never kick the cat, So the cat comes back And fans And fans And fans I never kick the cat So the cat comes back And I can't hit her So she acts like that So she acts like that So she acts like that And fans And fans And fans {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

THE TREE PEOPLE greet QUESTLOVE warmly into their abode with open arms. He is in awe of the intricate beauty and allure of the hidden land amongst the trees. In essence, they have been expecting QUESTLOVE'S arrival for quite some time; though he quite innocently only had wandered up the tree, initially to have a break from the wild party below, he in an instant found himself at peace there, and soon his new friends, calling from the peaks of the interwoven world Oh, lol ‘The Roots' –I get it Shh. Not yet. We're almost there. Lil bitz So I go to tranfer trains out of Manhattan headed toward Brooklyn and I head to the airport be of the platform, cause that's where my car is And there's this crazy guy like freaking out Like “Aghhhhhhhhhhh!” And everyone is standing away from him, like, at a safe distance, and I'm lik, suicidal like “Meh, we are the same.” He's freaking out, he even gets real close “Ahhhhhhhhhhh!”” I'm like “Fuck it.” So he's freaking out— and that's not the funny part— “ That's actually very serious— serious mental health problems New York City has— But the funny part is this dude is kind of realizing I'm the only one that isn't standing away from him, and so he gets closer, I'm like “whatever, my crazy is in the inside, it's okay” But the funny part is, the rain starts coming, so people start getting closer and up comes this lady, and without saying anything, she sees this dude is kind of close to me and like checks up on me, just naturally— This is why I love New York, this was a sunny display of human kindness, without saying anything— She kind of just comes up with her umbrella in both hands like a fucking baseball bat and she's like “You good? I got an umbrella!” And just kind of smacks it against her hand like a police baton, she's looking down this dude like “Batter up, bitch!” I'm like “Thanks homie, damn! But I'm good, like… I'm about to jump in front of this oncoming train— that shit's crazy. This guy's okay, though, he's really not..: You know. “I got an umbrella!” Daaaamn homie! Okay! The immortal Citezens bigade The temple of sound Corpus Unam It started out st TiTs, but it ended up at TAINT. STEFON Isn't it wonderful? no! This place is gross! I want to go home now. JOHNNY DEPP finally wakes up from that nap. He looks confused. Which club was it?! It wasn't a club! I told you a spade! But I have four aces I have four aces Vegas will all make sense now Every tattoo is a closure You lose your composure when you come close so, Write me a letter I hope you feel better, with medicine I hope every note I ever spoke or wrote about you Pulls your hair grey Or out Until it's all gone I'm sure I'm a problem I'm no Monroe, O'Fallon Suddenly it's back again Like a flash, I reacted to the paralyzing waves of danger I sense on every strange aspect of this Garage lined industrial turned residential Dumpster to a nightmare And I'm sure I'm there I saw you blew it And evacuated; All day my brainwaves are Will Forte Leslie Jones And Dratch In no particular order, Last night was a whole show I had Eddie Murphy over For Richard Pryor We all won Oscars, Is that not the most remarkable thing That ever happened on this block? Show people I got no morals, no decorum No noteworthy Toolbox No trustworthy robots Not a dollar to my net worth I own networks, all of them Merge them all into a media conglomerate I grow doll hair out of my pretty eyeballs I don't go where the sun don't shine So the sun don't shine at Rockerfeller Plaza. AHAHA charade you all are And I'm just Monday Hot gossip Just fall out, blossom Just got hot dollops on a lot of chocolate Armed library coture And if you're not sure if or not I've lost it I sure have, You won But I'm all for one What'd you call it Rotten mouth show Rotten acoundrels, candy apples I tipped four hogs over Your lost faux of conciousness on All of the waffles The Oscar's was the award Cause God Sure Loves Conan Fuck you hospital hoe. I know I failed SNL Before I even got started Hidden Silent Cosmic Circles But still Sometimes I can't help But love them all[Liz] JOHNNY DEPP … is this the Boom Boom Room? No, Johnny. It is not. I asked for The Boom Boom Room! I saw Beyonce on the ride home But I don't wonder why were wonderful I just roll on. Something like troll under a bridge cause That's where it is when you wriggle it into your middle finger just to dismantle the antics the candle the hammer the mattress the fell on the family the Fallon the manhole the Gasp! See I told you it's a trap. So why not impale your life on the rim of the holy grail, Holy hell I skipped supper seven days just to acquire A cigarette lighter I see Tina Fey in everything When it makes sense And sense when did I get this obsessive about Nonsense I was just Never that fucking interested in? Sitting in the kitchen without pants on Hair half braided hating my apartment Like I forgot I was lucky to have one But what fun is it in a dungeon When in any direction you escape You take the L! I failed at l finger economics One Two Three Four I Declare A Thumb War! And the world keeps going Like over and ovver, But those two dumb dumbs Are still thumb warrig, and so the story goes On and on Like I never fell off the roof, Like I never turned my tv off Like I never wanted Timmy Turner Like i'm not about to run a life up my arm Like I'm lying about the psychotic Like I can't be anywhere but here? My circle is bigger And my friends, are fans And my fans, You're a fan of Hire a lawyer To fight a white girl Who slams doors In the Trump World No thanks. I'd rather be buried alive Then at least it's quiet. Just be glad you're alive! Why?! If I'm not thriving And trust me as I sit writing The uglies are warring me out of the world I belong in. This one is suffering and dollar bills And whores And dollar bills And whores And dollar bills And whores But you'll never know the answer Without words And son, I just don't want to have them No, I never want to talk about it Unless you're the Oprah And why would Oprah even want To open the apostle up, When I just told the decoy Every other problem I've ever had. Wonder what? My words are words, And long after the world turns over I'll be remembered as someone everyone loves For writing about how no one ever really loved her. So I cry until my stomach hurts, And I catch the door before it slams, And I never kick the cat, so the cat comes back But Fans And fans And fans. I never kick the cat, So the cat comes back And fans And fans And fans I never kick the cat So the cat comes back And I can't hit her So she acts like that So she acts like that So she acts like that And fans And fans And fans {Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright © The Festival Project, Inc. ™ | Copyright The Complex Collective © 2019-2025 ™ All Rights Reserved. -Ū.

Oh that's right. Lorne Michaels doesn't sound like Austin Powers— He sounds like Dr. Evil. Dead wringer. I don't know how I could mess that up. The Mike Meyers part? Was he both of them! I don't know— was he?? Jesus ChristS This is all your fault, Seth Meyers. Are you— a cinephile? Oh yeah. Of course. I love cinnamon. Idiot. So my insides get soft When I see your shadow Listen Everything glistens when it's golden Perhaps then If it isn't yellow She don't got a soul But she sure do got a body Dor dor nyc TRACY MORGAN OH YEA. I DID SOME WEIRD SHIT THIS MORNING. Tracy! What weird shit! I don't know! I just know it was weird! Wait, Tracy— what happened this morning. Well, the first thing was— I woke up. Yeah, after that. But not in my normal places that I wake up! What do you mean. Well, that was the first thing that was weird! I woke up in BROOKLYN. Why anything I like gets odd at Bedford And why Anything I like Just thinks I'm scum Imm succumbing to the numbness of the public And I love it But I love it cause I'm wholly made of love I don't even live here This place is filled with demons My home is filled with dead things The difference is the spirit We also come light hearted m We also formed from stardust I wonder what's SETH MEYERS finally gets out of the box, The problem is now, that he's marooned on what appears to be a desolate island. It's not entirely desolate, however— this is SUNNI BLU's island, on which there is a huge days long party Props for having a white mom I bed she adores you I can tell by your clothes And what you know That you're not Supposed to My mom Had no rules But was beautiful Suited me, But I'm not beauty queen Really I'd rather have a white mom I'd probably be discovered on Girls gone wild {Enter The Multiverse} If my Shazam can hear it bro it's too loud. Fuck this place. SETH MEYERS You blacked out under the Christmas tree. SUNNI Oh. I'm sorry— SETH MEYERS —but first you put up a Christmas tree. SUNNI Wow! #theblackout SETH MEYERS Yeah, i'm—seriously impressed, but.. SUNNI —-but what? Seth Meyers SETH MEYERS I—just don't understand how you got into my house. SUNNI Through the chimney, obviously. SETH MEYERE That's—I don't even have a chimney. SUNNI Yes you do! (He doesn't) Alternately: Or— (Didn't , previously, however—) SUNNI BLU has a CHIMNEY installed for an elaborate pranking, however, —DIE— ! Ok. —Due to the elaborateness of this prank, belligerent drunkenness then insued, which resulted in— SUNNI —well, were there presents? SETH MEYERS I mean; besides yourself? SUNNI Is what I'm asking! SETH MEYERS Yes! And they were really, very nice, but look— GOTH SETH ROGEN is killin it. Was this not about to be GOTH SETH MEYERS? By some awful Freudian slip, yes, it was— but that can't happen , Why not? Cause that guy's still locked inside a hot metal box. Actually, I'm not, Whaaaaa?? I'm like— on an island. Oh. Yeah. That's right. Marooned. On an island. That sucks. Yeah. So why can you hear us, like? I just figured imm hallucinating. Oh. Right, right. He doesn't know he's on the TV? I don't think so. Oh, I know I'm on TV, it's just— Shh. Let's get out of here before he— Actually, let's just turn this off. *off.* Phew, dodged a bullet there. Close one. Yikes. Thank goodness. This is getting meta. —aaand i'malone again. Christ CHRIST appears beside Seth Meyers on the island. Oh, it's you again. Hey, guy. What did you want? Out of the hot sticky metal box— but as you can see, I did that on my own. Hey, look— I get all my messages at the same time, alright? Do you not have a beeper or something? What year is this? Says the dude in the robe. Watch it. Fuck. Crisis. Speaking of Chrisis—is Jimmy Fallon Still suing me? Probably. I hope so, MEANWHILE Sorry but it had to be done Somehow I'm all for it I got holes in all my socks Like I got golf at 9 o clock I was bionic Now I'm supersonic Toxic for the hustle Russell brand up in this bitch Promote my brand up in this bitch Throw some hands up in this bitch Smoke some ham up on a sandwich Sand up in this castle Throw a flag up in this beach (bitch) Land Hoooooooooooooooooo Land hooooooooooooooo. Land ho Ho Ho Can applause I'm Santa clause I'm man; I'm a Possible Option for Drama Atlanta In a Cadillac In the Back with the Bosses and Models I got Bottle service Hold the phone My servitor say Already won an award And it just got awkward Cause I don't finish the song Tomorrow Flight to Auckland (Oy oy) I am her Boy toy We pick up some Mai tais Then she Ride on My thighs She just right A size nine And I like her eyes, Eyes, She don't want no ICE, Her life on the rocks already deported her twice From where I'm from (Aye aye) Some time this shit don't make no sense So I brought Christmas presents over Wearing cookie monster's— SETH. What. I had Cookie Monster's— uhhh— cookie monster's uh—! Cookie monster's what— Creepy puppet thing The actual puppet? YES! Why—? On my hand! What? IT WAS PART OF THE JOKE!! What! Oh NO, SETH MEYERS. What is happening right now . I don't know. I'm still drunk! But we gotta find Cookie Monster. What! The Cookie Monster fucking—c'mon. Let's check the chimney! I don't have a— CUT TO: …you built me a chimney. Technically, I had a chimney built for you, Seth Meyers, WHY. IT WAS PART OF THE JOKE. WHAT WAS THE JOKE! I FOUND YOU DRUNK UNDER MY CHRISTMAS TREE. It was MY Christmas tree! IN MY LIVING ROOM. [beat] This is just bad office politics. I'm your boss. I resent that. I also resent that. So—wait a second— as part of this “elaborate joke” you also stole a Cookie Monster puppet. I didn't steal it. I own everything, basically, pretty much. Okay— so wait, wait— what you're telling me is that when you came through the chimney— Yes— Which you built on my house— somehow within out my notice— —you take long vacations and your security system sucks— —that's— Also I hacked your security system. —for a joke?! …did it land? WHAT. I'm trying new bits. This scene is running long. —I'm gonna make some calls. Enter The Multiverse} [The Festival Project™ ] {Enter The Multiverse} L E G E N D S: ICONS Tales of A Superstar DJ The Secret Life of Sunnï Blū Ascension Deathwish -Ū. Copyright The Festival Project, Inc. ™ & The Complex Collective © 2015-2025 All Rights Reserved Wait something got kerfaufulled… No we're jumping parallel's it's this season's theme. What's the theme? THE REVERSE QUANTUM SIMULATION THEORY [REQŪÏSĪTE: The Experienxe] [postponed until further notice] Lulz

Get my FREE weightloss videos (The Secrets to How I Lost 100lbs): http://NoBSFreeCourse.com Ever feel like you're doing everything right… but you keep eating when you know you're not hungry? In this episode, I'm breaking down the 9 emotional reasons women overeat—especially at night, after a long day, or when one mistake turns into a full-on binge. We're talking about: Rage eating (when you don't speak up) Comfort eating (when you're exhausted and stressed) “Fuck it” eating (when perfection blows up in your face) And more... You're not broken. You're not lacking willpower. You've just been using food to fix things it was never meant to fix. Let me help you figure out what's really going on—and what to do instead.

Happy Friday Creek Talkers!

This week, to celebrate the fact that "The Raoni Washburn Show" just landed on a couple more top 10 lists, including #1 for "Best Gay Dating Podcacts," Raoni decided to dive into that one big gient cluster-fuck that is big city dating as the topic of conversation this week.Follow The Raoni Washburn Show on:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Threads⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Positive+1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠all @exposingmygay,Please subscribe to the "⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bossy Power Bottom Gay-Treon (Patreon)⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠" and get all things Bossy Power Bottom Productions' bonus content from over four shows! Don't forget to go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raoniwashburn.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for any information you need on the show or Bossy Power Bottom Productions. While on the show website, look at the⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Bossy Power Bottom Catalog⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and pick out your next piece for your upcoming gay or pride-related event. Do you have something you want Raoni to hear? Call in on the official Bossy Power Bottom hotline at 415 501 0401 and leave a message. Any other inquiries are received at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mygayexpose@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ !

DAMIONThe next phase of Starbucks' turnaround plan is offering executives up to $6 million in stock grants, as baristas scrap to get annual raises above 2%Starbucks will reward company executives with up to $6 million in stock grants should they effectively fulfill cost-saving and timely rollout goals of the company's “Back to Starbucks” turnaround strategy. Starbucks Workers United representatives dubbed the move “ridiculous and irresponsible” amid contract negotiations over barista wages.WHO DO YOU BLAME?Double boomerang CEO and founder Howard Schultz1987-2000; 2008-2017; 2022-2023CEO and Chair Brian Niccol and his $113 million golden hello packageThe company's work-from-home policy which allows its CEO to work remotely from his home in Newport Beach, California, while the company's headquarters are in Seattle, Washington. As part of his employment agreement, Starbucks pays for him to travel between his home and the Seattle headquarters on the company's private jet.Former failure Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer who was appointed as a director to Starbucks 4 days before the announcement of the new retention awards. Compensation Committee chair Ritch Allison: The guy passes every pay plan for whoever; is the former CEO of Domino's Pizza so is here to enrich executives; and owns $3M is SBUX stock so doesn't really care: someone should be responsible for a CEO pay ratio of 6666:1Agios Appoints Dr. Jay Backstrom to Board of DirectorsJay Backstrom appointed as Class III director as of July 8, 2025, 20 days after the company held an election to appoint two Class III directors.WHO DO YOU BLAME?The top 4 institutional investors (35% of voting power):Farallon Capital 10% Vanguard 10%BlackRock 9% BB Biotech 6%The company's childish bylaws which separate directors into three classes that are voted on every three yearsFormer CEO Jacqualyn Fouse (23%) who stuck around to serve as board chair after being CEO for only 3 yearsNominating Committee chair and Lead independent director Kaye FosterEmasculated CEO Brian GOff (15%) who presides over a board with a +7% gender influence gapAn anti-DEI investment firm postponed its Tesla ETF, saying Elon Musk has 'gone too far' by launching a political partyWHO DO YOU BLAME?Its BS mission statement: “Azoria is an investment firm with the mission of compounding capital for investors through a commitment to free thinking, excellence, and meritocracy.”Wouldn't that include Elon?James T. Fishback, Founder and CEO of Azoria, a free-thinking investment firm“We have an anti-American subculture that cancels the science fair in favor of drag queen story hour, forces colleges to spend more time teaching micro-aggressions than microbiology, and teaches kids in America that Cardi B is a role model and Thomas Jefferson is a racist.”“Fishback will become a major Gen Z star in our pro-American movement.” — Vivek Ramaswamy, 2024 Presidential Candidate.“dropped out of Georgetown University to establish a hedge fund at 21 years old”Azoria partner Sol Ehrlich:“For my last day at Spectra, it's important that I share just how much this opportunity has meant to me. In June of 2023, I was a 28 year old mediocre Euro League baseball player with no job prospects outside of coaching. My only qualification to work in finance was my work ethic, which Brent Donnelly recognized when he met with me over Zoom and saw the litany of Post-It tabs I used to annotate his book”“It's with great excitement that I'll be taking this skillset to Azoria as a partner and its Head Trader- an opportunity I couldn't have imagined 18 months ago.”While the internet was introduced to James Fishback's talents this year, I've been aware of them since 2009 when we competed against each other in high school debate. (His meme game was A+ even then- I still remember him closing a speech on U.S. sanctions with 4 Russian leader puns.)”Me. Because somehow I'm connected to Fishback on linkedin.Greenlight Capital, for making James angry:In a lawsuit: “Greenlight Capital says James Fishback is a liar. The 29-year-old hedge fund manager and former employee, contrary to his own proclamations, was never “head of macro” at Greenlight, never had any “authority or discretion” over investments, and certainly wasn't responsible for an “insane” $100 million in profits as a mere research analyst. In fact, his contributions were so not “insane” that the hedge fund was about to fire him before he chose to leave of his own accord.”Greenlight's alleged former head of macro is hoping to get at least $5 million from David Einhorn, claiming age discrimination"Mr. Einhorn dismissively told Mr. Fishback that his compensation was 'a lot of money for a kid,'" the filing states, and Fishback argues the comment "demonstrates that Defendants' decision about Mr. Fishback's compensation was driven largely by his age — a protected characteristic."Tech founders call on Sequoia Capital to denounce VC Shaun Maguire's Mamdani commentsMaguire, an outspoken supporter of President Trump, posted on X over the weekend that Democratic mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani “comes from a culture that lies about everything.”WHO DO YOU BLAME?Shaun Maguire: “My whole life I've sought out people that I think are really talented but a little bit off the radar.”Shaun Maguire: “[E]ven more important to me is someone that's just irrationally motivated. For whatever reason, it's their life mission to try to revolutionize the industry they're going after.”Shaun Maguire: “Should I go public with the story about the time I was told I can't be promoted for being a white man? Fuck it, This happened at Google. That company is an absolute trash can dumspeter fire.”Sequoia Capital: for proudly endorsing some of its most insipid founders: Sam Altman, Elon Musk, Vlad Tenev (Robinhood, online betting on stocks), Keller Rinaudo (Zipline, autonomous delivery), Winston Weinberg (Harvey, AI for lawfirms), Brian Chesky (Airbnb, rent killer)MATTForward Air, after their AGM battle with Ancora, still hasn't released their 8K after a MONTH despite Ancora announcing it was a “landslide” directly afterWHO DO YOU BLAME for not releasing an 8k?Charles Anderson, Robert Edwards Jr, Michael Hodge who own roughly 25% of the voting power, even if FF data doesn't properly show them as having all the influence on the boardAncora, who just couldn't help but IMMEDIATELY put out a press release stating: “Absent the more than 30% of shares that were legally committed to vote for the incumbent Board, Chairman George Mayes, Jr., Javier Polit, and Laurie Tucker lost in a landslide, highlighting the substantial level of concern regarding the legitimacy of the Board's strategic review. We believe the resignations of these legacy directors will empower the Board to carry out a thorough assessment of value-maximizing opportunities.”Christine Gorjanc, chair of the audit committee, who was chair of the audit committee at Invitae from 2015 to 2024 when it declared bankruptcy despite getting her degree in accounting and a MS in “taxation”Michael L. Hance, chief counsel who also holds a masters in Divinity, who couldn't find the “submit” button on his iPhoneNo, Carnival Cruises is not banning rap musicCarnival Cruise Lines denied reports circulating online that DJs aren't playing hip-hop.The cruise line has responded to claims circulating online that DJs aren't including hip-hop music in their sets or honoring song requests, with some social media users saying the alleged move is racially motivated.WHO DO YOU BLAME for this malicious rumor?Carnival's ZERO BLACK leadership team, lead by Mickey Arison - they do have two Hispanic men, Enrique Miguez (General Counsel) and Gustavo Antorcha (President of Princess Cruises), but it's balanced out by the Scandinavian (Lars Ljoen, Chief Maritime Officer) and other Euro men (Felix Eichhorn, Paul Ludlow)Carnival's Board of Directors, which has 11 members and is 91% white, with one black woman, Nelda Connors. Nelda's background is in hydraulics and metals with a degree in mechanical engineering, so she's probably too “nerdy” for rap anywayChristine Duffy, the head of Carnival Cruises, whose prior role was President of the Cruise Lines International Association which put out a report in 2008 showing that 93% of cruise passengers were white, and in 2025 said that 1 in 4 passengers came from either Texas or Florida. Duffy grew up in Northwood Philadelphia, which in 1950 was three quarters white but by 2020 is 93% black.Thinking hip hop is “black music”DAMIONPeople are boycotting Etsy over ‘Alligator Alcatraz' merchCalls to boycott Etsy are growing since “Alligator Alcatraz” merch popped up on its marketplace. The term refers to the Trump administration's new migrant detention facility in the Florida Everglades.WHO DO YOU BLAME?The 48% influence duo: CEO Josh Silverman (25%) and longest-tenured director (2007): Board Chair and Nominating Committee chair Fred Wilson (23%)The -13% gender influence gap at a company where: “approximately 80% of Etsy's buyers and sellers are women.Leadership is 6 men and 2 women, one of who is CHROThe company's dumb classified board structureThis year's 3 directors: 24%, 28%, 22% againstTokens to Access Private Companies, or to Investor Trouble?Robinhood is the latest to offer investors a novel, and potentially risky, investment opportunity: crypto that's meant to give exposure to the likes of OpenAI.WHO DO YOU BLAME?CEO/founder/Chair Vladimir Tenev: 47% influence; 24% voting power Baiju Bhatt: 37% influence; 36% voting powerThe pesky Class B share: for being worth ten votes per shareThe non-democratic Founders' Voting Agreement: Our Co-Founders have agreed: “to vote all of their shares in favor of the election of each Co-Founder”Lead Independent Director Jonathan Rubinstein: for being the most pointless Lead Independent Director of all time: Lead Independent Director at Robinhood since 2021 and Lead Independent Director at Amazon.com from 2017-2023OpenAI Says It's Hired a Forensic Psychiatrist as Its Users Keep Sliding Into Mental Health Crises"We're developing ways to scientifically measure how ChatGPT's behavior might affect people emotionally."WHO DO YOU BLAME?Sam AltmanBret Taylor (Chair)Sam AltmanMatt: AI itself for being a jerk

Fuck it. It's a political podcast.Guti, Ismael, and Ron come out of hiding to discuss Edward James Olmos' dramatization of the 1968 Los Angeles walkouts.Follow @reellatinos on social media.

Tracklist:RADIO WONDERLAND OPENER 00:00Alison Wonderland - Again? Fuck. 00:42Taylor Kade & Fixion - Better This Way (Danny Olson Remix) 03:40Fred again.. ft. Skepta & PlaqueBoyMax - Victory Lap 06:43MANILA KILLA ft. NEVVE - RINSE IT 09:29Ninajirachi - iPod Touch 12:19Valentino Khan ft. MERYLL - Elevator 15:22WHIPPED CREAM & BKAYE - never mine 18:09Doechii - Nissan Altima (Whethan Remix) 20:53St. Mary - Higher Place 23:18SLANDER & San Holo ft. Julia Church - Broken Hearted 26:11Vyhara Guest Mix 29:41

ILLENIUM plays new music from Rezz, KREAM, Said The Sky, Martin Garrix, St. Mary, REAPER and more!Don't forget to rate & review on all of your favorite podcast apps! Post your comments on twitter @ILLENIUM #PHOENIXRADIOTracklist:PHOENIX RADIO OPENER 00:00ILLENIUM & HAYLA - In My Arms (KREAM Remix) 00:52Steve Aoki & Jamis ft. Bonn - Thanks To You 05:16Andrew Bayer, Jason Ross & Dia Frampton - Lighter 08:27Cheat Codes & LP - Human 11:51INZO, Blookah & DijahSB - Go Mode 14:21Martin Garrix & Citadelle - Peace Of Mind 17:51Armin van Buuren ft. JAI RYU - Let It Be For Love 20:51MANILA KILLA & NEVVE - Rinse It 25:39PEEKABOO & Scrufizzer - One More Time 28:19Afinity - Sound 30:09St. Mary - Higher Place 32:46Ganja White Night x Wooli x Amidy - Rise Up 36:04Said The Sky ft. Jessica Baio - How To Say Goodbye 40:22Wilkinson ft. Julia Church - Back To Life 43:56Alison Wonderland - Again? Fuck 47:42REAPER & Oliverse - Motion 50:31Merage - Replay 53:39Rezz - Prophecy 56:31

Everyone's favorite Not Like The Other Nerds-Nerd, Jake Young, is back again to delve into the HAWT GOSS' of the sunsetting of global capitalism a la very tacky, very out of touch Bezos Billionaire wedding. Clip art butterflies included.WW3 might be around the corner, but SHUT UP IT'S FASHION TIME! Guests at the wedding once more reminding everyone that 'Money Can't Buy Ya' ClAsSsSSsSSSS (elegance is earned)'The invitations? Tacky. The outfits? Tacky. The guest list? Tacky. But Orlando Bloom was there provin' he don't walk the talk (but he was takin' walks with Sydney Sweeney between her dancin' with Tom Brady!!), and Katy Perry wasn't, AND THEY'VE OFFICIALLY SPLIT! Which has Jackie and MJ feelin' a bit bad as her life unfolds around her. HOPE YA DID YA HOMEWORK! We're talkin' 'bout them red baggers on Trainwreck: Poop Cruise. Then it's time for everyone to be let down and reminded what reality tv REALLY IS, as the newest Golden Bachelor proves it might not be 'all men', but FUCK the ones that are! Then we've got 'Celebrity Controversies That Vanished From Public Memory, But These Fans Are STILL WEIRDLY FIXATED ON THEM!', Blindz, Jackie's Snackies Starts at 1:13:38.721 and ends at 1:25:52.811!!!Want even more Page 7? Support us on Patreon! Patreon.com/Page7Podcast  Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.