That's Messed Up

Is torture the only way to grow Christina Aguilera's listener base? What were the weirdest forms of punishment in the ancient world? Does itchy butthole count as torture? (Yes. Yes it does.)

AKA: You felt it, you dealt it! Learn the causes and effects of fecal incontinence, find out what famous actor famously pooped while filming a famous film, and listen to us tell funny poop stories. You're welcome.

Carnival and theme park rides are perfectly safe. Except when they aren't. Find out which rides are most dangerous--and the best reason yet to stay the hell out of New Jersey.

Learn the bad things that can go down when you get inked up, plus fun stuff like the oldest tattooed dude and the certified worst tattoo ever.

Bask with us in the horrifying miracle of human reproduction, and you'll see why every woman who has ever had a baby is a bona fide badass.

What's more important, hand washing or anesthesia? If you're an ancient surgeon, the answer is neither! Here's a brief, horrifying history of surgery.

AKA Close Encounters of the Turd Kind: Find out what it smells like in space, what to do if you get stuck out there with no suit, how people poop in space and how Xaria survived a real life alien abduction!

AKA The brainwashed seamen of Lube Ron Hubbard! Find out what's so messed up about Scientology and, more importantly, why Leah Remini should be Mer's best friend.

What's so bad about North Korea? EVERYTHING! From prison camps to starvation to completely nonsensical basketball rules, this place is off-the-charts cray.

Move over, Mowgli and Nell. This is the real deal we're talking about and it is ::B R U T A L::. Find out why sometimes it's better to be raised by animals than by your biological parents.

How many people are secretly hoarders? What do they hoard--and why? IS XARIA A HOARDER? (Probably yes.)

What happens to a human body at the bottom of the ocean? Can Xaria and Bryan tell the difference between real monsters and photoshopped ones? (Answer: Sometimes, but not always.)

From mucus to breast milk to tears, humans make all kinds of crazy substances! If you like gross stuff, this episode is for you.

What do porn stars and professional wolfers have in common? How can drinking too much water kill you? How much does professional eating pay? (Hint: Not enough.)

Just how powerful are nuclear weapons? And how exactly do they work? Also, what happens to the body during radiation poisoning? (Hint: Nothing good.)

How did slavery get started? How many Africans were brought to the US before the civil war? Is Bryan, as a straight, cis, white man to blame for all the world's problems? (TLDL: Yes.)