Catalogue

Recorded in separate places and spliced together like Frankenstein's monster, this episode sees the boys shave their gardens and mow their pubes. Yes, lawnmowers are the order of the day, so if your lawn is looking a bit tufty, get this in your ears.

If you're a fan of extention leads... you'll want to get plugged into this! This episode was recorded a few months back, before the UK lockdown.

Recorded long before the UK went into lockdown, Tim and Simon talk torches and get far more mileage out of it than they should. Enjoy.

Tim and Simon consider how many resources Kevin McAllister would have needed. A few of those resources feature on these pages! This was recorded before we weren't allowed to see anyone.

Tim and Simon find themselves in isolation at the same time due to the coronovirus outbreak. Not a usual Catalogue, more of a chat over Skype, with added alcohol. But don't worry, it's still very daft.

Tim and Simon recorded a bunch of Catalogues in preparation for now being allowed to get together again anytime soon... This is the first and it's all about alarms. Have 29 minutes of escapism. Stay safe.

Get ready for Catalogue to climb to new heights as the men from Shropshire talk ladders. Get serious gains and bulk out your ear muscles with 22 minutes of pure comedy bronze from your pocket... if you have one.

Tim and Simon would like to invite you into their shed of delights. Feel free to poke the bike, but whatever you do, don't poke the wasp nest! You can lose weight by listening to this. That's a lie.

Tim and Simon conclude The Tool Saga. That's the description.

Tim and Simon race towards the end of the tools section, talking scars, steam and serial killers. This'll spark your pants into action!

Planers, mitre saws and plunge routers. Tim and Simon both rent and have never had to decorate. It really shows. This episode has nothing to do with decorating.

Tim and Simon were a bit too late to the party with their Christmas. So please find enclosed a Christmas Special, which isn’t that Christmassy! They felt they had to talk toys on the run up to Christmas so picked up a Smyths Toys Superstore catalogue and went for it!

Tim and Simon talk tools, Tom Selleck and Robot Wars. They also reference a ghost in the film Three Men and a Baby: "Ghost" visible at 36 seconds: https://youtu.be/LPEvJrs-1yM

Tim and Simon discuss spanners, glue guns and multimeters. Can they turn Tim into Batman with the help of the tools page of their Argos Catalogue from 1999? No. No they can't.

The boys from Salop reach a quarter of century's worth of Catalogue and discover their favourite item of the catalogue so far! Give it a listen and don't forget to tell a friend.

Tim and Simon find themselves exploring more things that go in your car. Along the way they discuss car mats, Bobby Charlton and blueberry Jaffa Cakes. It'll all make sense when you listen!

You may have heard him on radio, you may have seen on the internet but now you can hear Tom Campbell doing something you've never heard before:.. Reading an Argos catalogue from 1999. Expect road rage, broken kettles and eggs. See videos that Tom does over at Cultaholic.com

As promised in Episode 21, Tim and Simon record this episode at Crewe Railway Station. Expect trains, commuters and PA announcements… oh and they have the Catalogue with them!

Tim and Simon talk all things lights, combination locks and spokey dokeys. By the way, your combination is 9683. They're on to you.

Tim and Simon reach page 76 of their Argos catalogue adventure and talk BMXs, stunt pegs and bruised nads. Stick your helmet on, you'll need it.

What Tim and Simon know about fishing could be written as a comprehensive guide to not fishing. They use all their tangent tangling powers to keep this one going.

Tim and Simon tee off talking about their favourite sport involving a golf ball. Also Tim's hopes of a spin off candle based podcast gain momentum.

Putting them firmly out of their comfort zone, Tim and Simon are confronted with the world of golf. They talk computer games, cheese grating and soggy heads. What’s your Solid Snake technique?

Tim and Simon are not so snooker loopy, but they do love a good 90s game show, so expect much chat about Bullseye and Big Break. Pick a type of weather and a body part, and prepare to make some noise!

Page 64 of the Argos Catalogue holds delights and tangents aplenty as Tim and Simon discover basketballs and rollerblades, while holding a real Space Jam DVD. Prepare to get pucking silly, ya cheeky pucker.

Navigating their way further into the sport equipment, Tim and Simon discover cricket gloves, five-a-side goals and Tim Henman. You'll also learn how to cook a pot noodle properly.

Prepare to be reminded of some of foulest smells of your childhood as Tim and Simon talk goalkeeper gloves, shin pads and bootbags. Never shake a goalkeepers hand without sniffing it first.

Tim and Simon reach page 54 of their Argos catalogue adventure talking school bags, badgers and bananas. You've come for the podcast, but you'll stay for the storm flaps.

The Shropshire lads complete the exercise equipment section of their Argos catalogue adventure. Along the way they choose their favourite bench, perform crap magic and bring Mario Kart to the real world.

Tim and Simon discuss rowing machines and punch bags with illustrator, cartoonist, podcaster, penmaker and Catalogue artwork provider, Dan Berry; who also happens to be Simon's brother. Find more about Dan at thingsbydan.co.uk

Tim and Simon reach page 47 of their Argos Catalogue adventure. They discuss building muscles, losing weight and boy band branded condoms.

Tim and Simon immerse themselves in the sweaty world of exercise. Simon explains his short shorts and Tim discovers a pet he could actually get along with, all with a backdrop of 1999’s finest devil’s peaches.

Tim and Simon see off the travel section with a bang… Hear about Simon’s passion for ironing, Tim’s dislike of cats and the new Olympic sport of freezer diving! Caution: May contain pork style chinese steaks.

Tim and Simon flip to page 35 and talk about currency convertors, personal CD players and a Game Boy!  These game boys love a Game Boy.

The Shropshire lads squeeze themselves into a princess castle tent. Expect deep discussions about heads, horses and Hodors! And beware the magpies.

Tim and Simon work their way through one and a bit pages of the catalogue. They keep your hot things hot, your Carlsberg cold, and completely rename the humble chair.

Tim and Simon dig deep into the world of camping and dredge up bitter memories of kid's TV.

Tim and Simon work their way through pages 8 to 25 sharing stories about misused toilets, undercooked sausages and includes the line "I barbequed my own hand".

Tim and Simon take their first steps into the Argos no.26 Spring/Summer 1999 catalogue, and peruse the contents.