Flourishing Friday

The poet Antonio Machado once wrote: "Traveler, there is no way. The way is made by walking it."I've found a great deal of wisdom and inspiration from these 12 words.Think a moment and you can hear the profoundness in their meaning.We all have many ideas. Lots of them are great ideas. No matter our profession or goals, we're constantly creating.Instead of acting and executing on those ideas, we seek people that have been successful doing something similar and attempt to replicate the path they traveled.But in doing so, we're missing the point.There is no "exact" way.The way is made by walking it. That's an important truth to remember because by not doing it our own way, we neglect our own strengths, desires, hopes, and worries.Without considering these things into the equation, we burn out. We lose the energy that drives us forward.So, learn from those that came before us and be inspired by them, but we must discover how to put into practice our own unique talents in particular circumstances in which we live.The way is made by walking it.

Stand up for what you believe in. Don’t take no for an answer if your heart and mind are leading you in a direction that you feel strongly about. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have wanted to do something but everyone around me was super skeptical and screamed at me to not do it. One of the most significant pressures I faced from the outside was when we announced that 3southwest was going to pivot from doing only consulting to building behavioral health software for physicians to use with chronic or terminally ill patients. Almost everyone told us it was too risky and that I was crazy. We had a strong feeling about it then and still do today. We believed it was what we were supposed to do, so we went with it. It’s turning out to be one of the best decisions we’ve made.Sometimes it can be difficult to stand up for what we believe in because that road is often lonely. But nothing good happens in this world unless we have strong leaders that resist the urge to quit. We want our employees, families, and communities to have this same type of determination and conviction. If they want to do something and they feel strongly about it, we want them to have the same courage to stand up and fight for what they believe in.

We’ve all heard this. It’s not a novel idea. Heck, my friend, Mic Johnson (#micology), spends part of every day climbing atop a mountain and screaming to anyone that will listen about this very thing.Sadly, I’m learning that most people don’t take this advice seriously. COVID aside, the last 12 months have been littered with death. I’ve had friends and family die nearly every single month. And they’ve been on the younger side. Suicide, murder, cancer - just a few of the causes.As someone who spent part of their 20s as a funeral director, I have made it a habit to talk to people quite intimately when someone close to them dies. It was never my plan, but I think a combination of working as a mortician, and my genuine curiosity has led me to be “that guy.”What has become crystal clear over the last year is regrets. People talk about how those final days were spent talking about the things that didn’t get done. The trips that didn’t get taken. The businesses that didn’t get started and so on. It seems logical that regret would hang on mistakes. But mistakes don’t hold a candle to the regret of not doing.I’m sharing these stories because I want people to truly understand we have to make the most of our lives and not let anything stand in the way of their goals and dreams.

I love Mandi. She's the most supportive partner anyone could ever have. When I have a problem or when something goes wrong (and trust me, I make a lot go wrong), she has a magical way of showing me it's never as terrible as it seems. She always points out that things happen, and we'll work through it. There isn't a word or words to describe how comforting that is to hear.One of her greatest strengths is how she views the world - tolerance, understanding, and acceptance of what life gives us - no matter the good or bad. She's very quiet, so most people would never know how she interacts with the world. I try to adopt this quality for myself and show others how beneficial it is to go through life this way.The other day we took her car into the dealership for routine maintenance. They called shortly after we dropped it off and told me they found an issue and the cost was significant. My first reaction was panic and down the rabbit hole of “we have to trade it in ASAP or this thing is going to go up in flames. Keep in mind it’s an almost brand new vehicle. She calmly told me to chill and explained that we’d pay for the repairs and that my train of thought was irrational and if I didn’t knock it off, the top of my head was going to come off. We can't let things bother us to the point that we make ourselves sick. There are times there are no easy solutions. We have to deal with those situations the best we can, do the work, take the pressure off ourselves, stay positive, and move on.That's where and when we can enjoy life.

Quickly Learn the Names of People You MeetIt always surprises me when I talk to people who don’t know the names of their neighbors, teammates, or can’t name all of their immediate coworkers.It’s a shame. We should go out of our way to introduce ourselves, especially in a new workplace, neighborhood, or community. My hope is that our employees and athletes will go through life and learn to get to know people who live, work, and play near them. We want people to try and make others who are just starting out feel comfortable in their new environment. We need to get used to learning the names of those around us and make an effort to be kind to everyone. The result is a more comfortable and enjoyable place to live, work, and play. We’re all far happier in that type of an environment.

Sometimes You Don't Have To Say A Single Word To Get In A Lot Of TroubleI doubt there is a person in America who hasn’t had someone smack their lips or roll their eyes at them one time or another. You know the lip smack I’m talking about…that “tsk” people use when they disagree with what you are saying.It is sometimes done unintentionally, and sometimes it is done on purpose. Either way, it’s disrespectful. If you manage people, lead a team, or raise children, start actively pointing out when you see or hear people doing it. Explain to them how disrespectful those types of gestures and behaviors are.We don’t have to speak to be disrespectful. The success of our meetings and parenting depends on people understanding that fact.We can politely and fruitfully disagree, without disrespect. When we respect others, progress is made.

This is a skill that takes a long time to learn. In fact, if you think about it, most people haven’t learned it. In all reality, most people probably haven’t even thought about it.In this fast-paced, dog-eat-dog world, we forget to shut up sometimes. We forget that you are far more likable and respectful when you ask about the thoughts and opinions of others. It’s a simple way to let others know that you are interested in who they are and what they have to say.For example:Me: Did you have a nice weekend?You: Yes, had a great time. My family and I went on an amazing hike. What about you? How was your weekend?This is a polite and easy way to show someone you are interested in their life and wellbeing. We want to avoid talking about me, me, me, and monopolizing the conversation.This easy rule is about letting people know you are interested in them. And guess what… there are actual results when you do so. You gain the respect of others, and they start engaging with and listening to you more actively and more often.There are many ways to show an interest in others, like being an active listener and an unselfish conversationalist.If you are asked a question, ask a question in return. Bottom line is it gets results.

Sometimes we just need to take a step away and take stock of what we’ve accomplished when we are stuck. These three tricks will help you do just that. Thanks to Pamela Slim and her book “Body of Work” for the advice.

Know for whom you are writing to make sure your tone and pace reflect your audience’s expectations.

Welcome to Flourishing Friday - a weekly series brought to you by the good folks at 3southwest and their Co-founder Andrew Nauenburg. Always five minutes or less - tips and tricks to help you help others in your life and your business. Raw and unedited.