MFLF Podcast

I am certainly not the Queen of meal prep but I share a few different things that have helped me along the way.  I hope you find them helpful as well. As always, feel free to get in touch with me anytime with any questions, comments or feedback you may have. I have a list of topics to discuss in the coming months but welcome more.  If you'd like me to touch on something, let me know. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com

I get so many questions about how I live with mental illness.  During this episode, I speak about hospital stays (what happens), what it was like being diagnosed with depression, living with anxiety and some of the things that I do to stay well. I refer to some different services that are available in Australia.  Their details are here. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ https://www.lifeline.org.au/ https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/ https://www.panda.org.au/ As always, feel free to get in touch with me anytime with any questions, comments or feedback you may have. I have a list of topics to discuss in the coming months but welcome more.  If you'd like me to touch on something, let me know. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com

During this episode I chat about quick fixes, magic pills and potions that seem too good to be  true and how to protect yourself from disappointment and losing your money. I've referred to the ACCC (Australian Competition and Consumer Commission) during this Podcast.  You can find more information about weight loss scams here https://www.accc.gov.au/media-release/watch-out-for-weight-loss-scams and I've also made reference to the TGA (Therapeutic Goods Administration) which you can find more out about here  https://www.tga.gov.au/weight-loss-beware-buying-unregulated-products-online Like I say during this Podcast, you may be desperate to get results but you're not dumb.  Do your research and protect yourself. As always, feel free to get in touch with me anytime with any questions, comments or feedback you may have. I have a list of topics to discuss in the coming months but welcome more.  If you'd like me to touch on something, let me know. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com  

I used the 'ask me a question' function on Instagram and compiled the most frequently asked ones and ta da!  Got this Podcast.   As always, feel free to get in touch with me anytime with any questions, comments or feedback you may have. I have a list of topics to discuss in the coming months but welcome more.  If you'd like me to touch on something, let me know. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com    

My first Podcast in a few months.  I talk about why. As always, feel free to get in touch with me anytime with any questions, comments or feedback you may have. I have a list of topics to discuss in the coming months but welcome more.  If you'd like me to touch on something, let me know. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com

Today I chat about clothing AND the Nike Mannequin debacle.   I mention a few plus size clothing companies in this Podcast - here are the links to them :) https://bekeanehealthyandfit.com.au/ Active wear that goes up to a size 38. https://www.lisaslacies.com.au/ Plus size lingerie. https://www.bigtimeclothing.com.au/ A shop that goes up to a size 50 in everything they stock.  This was my God send when I was at my biggest.  As always, feel free to get in touch with me anytime with any questions, comments or feedback you may have. I have a list of topics to discuss in the coming months but welcome more.  If you'd like me to touch on something, let me know. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com    

Today I chat about measurements.  There are so many other ways that you can measure your progress rather than just using a scale.  I share a few of them with you during this Podcast.  I hope you get some new ideas! As always, feel free to get in touch with me anytime with any questions, comments or feedback you may have. I have a list of topics to discuss in the coming months but welcome more.  If you'd like me to touch on something, let me know. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com

During this episode I chat about mental health.  I touch on lots of topics that could be triggering - suicide, self harm, TMS, ECT etc... if you feel that this episode may upset you, please don't listen to it. Please make sure you contact someone to talk if this episode has triggered you.   If you're in Australia, you can call Beyond blue on 1300 224 636 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. If you'd like to donate to my Beyond blue fundrasier, click on this link here https://runmelbourne2019.everydayhero.com/au/stephanie-payne I am so excited to be able to help raise money for them.  They do such an incredible job and as I run my 10kms, I will be thinking of so many people.  Mental illness has taken so many people I love away from me.  Beyond blue can help ensure people know they are not alone and always have someone to call.  As always, feel free to get in touch with me anytime with any questions, comments or feedback you may have. I have a list of topics to discuss in the coming months but welcome more.  If you'd like me to touch on something, let me know. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com

During this episode I chat about my experience when it has come to how my relationships have changed as I have been losing weight.  This ended up tying back into self worth. This was a really hard topic to speak about.  I haven't spoken about some of these situations for quite some time and before publishing, I asked 2 people to listen to this for me to make sure I wasn't too much of a Debbie Downer.  I hope some of what I have shared can help others.   As always, feel free to get in touch with me anytime with any questions, comments or feedback you may have. I have a list of topics to discuss in the coming months but welcome more.  If you'd like me to touch on something, let me know. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com

The last few weeks have been a challenge for me and it was only once I started speaking about them did I understand why they have been so tough.  I've found it hard to ignore the voice of self doubt and negativity.  You know that voice that comes in and tells you that you can't do something?  Well, that's been hanging around a lot lately.  And I only worked out once I started talking why that is - it's because I've had so many opportunities come my way recently that I've never dealt with before.  So the voice I normally hear (the one that says I can) has been a little quiet of late because I'm in unfamiliar territory.   As always, feel free to get in touch with me anytime with any questions, comments or feedback you may have. I have a list of topics to discuss in the coming months but welcome more.  If you'd like me to touch on something, let me know. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com

In this episode I chat about children in regard to overeating, self-esteem, bullying, clothing sizes and confidence.   I speak about what it was like when I was a child and what I remember about being bigger.  It wasn't easy for me when I was growing up but it has certainly shaped the way that I've dealt with my children and how I work with their insecurities. I've shared different things that have helped me help my kids over the last few years.  I hope that some of my suggestions are able to assist.  Like any pieces of advice, take what you think will work for you.   As always, feel free to get in touch with me anytime with any questions, comments or feedback you may have. I have a list of topics to discuss in the coming months but welcome more.  If you'd like me to touch on something, let me know. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com

Please excuse when I say this is episode 3 as it's clearly not!  It's 6!  It's the third episode I recorded though but decided to upload what I had recorded in different orders to what I recorded them in! In this episode I chat about weight loss surgery.  And I may say a few things that people don't agree with but I am sharing my lived experience and my personal opinion on this topic. I always get asked if I have had it.  Yes, I have but in saying that, it didn't work as well as I had hoped it would and whilst I still have my band, it does not restrict the amount of food that I can eat.  It doesn't really serve a purpose at all at this point as I need to have it repaired again.   People ask me if I regret my decision to have weight loss surgery given the fact it didn't work as well as I'd hoped it would.  No, not at all.  If it were not for my lap band, I'd be dead.  I went from being 175kg in March 2008 to being 243kg in August 2010.  That's a massive 68kg in just under 2 years.  If I'd gone another 2 years at that rate, I'd be 311kg - if I didn't die before hand which I really believed I would have. As always, feel free to get in touch with me anytime with any questions, comments or feedback you may have :) I have a list of topics to discuss in the coming months but welcome more.  If you'd like me to touch on something, let me know :)  Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com    

I do drop a few swear words in this episode!  You have been warned! In this episode I chat about bullying which is quite a hard topic for me to discuss as it brings up so many raw emotions.  To this day, I am bullied because of my weight.  It's not easy going for a walk wondering if I am going to be subjected to some asshole shouting stuff at me.  I'm used to it but I shouldn't have to be but as you'll hear in this Podcast, it's happened my whole entire life.  Here's a letter I wrote to my bully in Febrarury 2018.  And whilst I have forgiven her and her minions for the way they treated me, I don't think I'll ever be able to get over what they did to me. Dear bully,You and your group of minions have been on my mind a lot lately.  I know it's been over 20 years since I saw you but there's not a day that goes past when I don't think of you and what your crew put me through.  Whether that be because of an article I read about the long term impacts of bullying or because I see the hurt in the eyes of my daughter when she comes home from school after being ostracized by a group of 9 year old 'mean girls', you seem to enter my mind more often than I would like.  I'm hoping that after I've written this letter that stops.Although this letter is to you, I am also addressing your sheep.  The ones that weren't brave enough to stand up to you when you treated others like shit.  For obvious reasons, I won't name and shame but you're either A). reading this feeling really proud that you've managed to stay under my skin for so long, B). reading this and feeling remorseful and resentful and are ashamed of the things you're doing or C). not reading as you've moved on with your life and you probably wouldn't even remember my name.  My guess is it's 'C' as you would't remember my name as you never called me by my name - you always referred to me as 'fatty boom ba' or 'fat bitch'.I actually spoke about you today to my best friend.  We were discussing the impacts of bullying and this is where your name came up.  I googled your name to find out what you're up to these days.  I find it interesting that you didn't become the successful television actress that you aspired to be but ended up behind the camera instead.  I find it interesting that you have written articles about a topic that I feel very strongly about - marriage equality.  I like to think that we have one thing in common that we want everyone to belong and treated as an equal.  I read your article with interest and I'm impressed with your use of vocabulary.  This was not a skill I knew you had given the fact that you only used a few words to describe me - ones that many mastered in Kindergarten and didn't feel the need to use so frequently as you did once they became an adolescent.  Through my stalking skills, I have discovered that you research social and cultural norms in our society (past and present) and have written some captivating pieces full of long words like the ones that are scattered amongst the pages of my University text books (the ones that I am too afraid to admit I don't know the meaning of so I quickly google them to ensure no one identifies my flaws) and I see you've won prizes for your achievements and dedication.  You should be proud.  I found a photo of you.  You haven't changed a bit.  Whilst I don't want to sound like a bully and therefore a hypocrite, I do want to make mention that your nostrils are still rather large.  I remember how they would flare open to the point where I would wonder how many sultanas I could fit up them.  It's amazing the things that went through my mind when you were centimeters away from my face reminding me of how fat and worthless I was and this is why I had no friends.  I want you to know that you put me through hell.  I want you to know how hard it was for me to come to school every day.  I want you to know that I have a permanent indent around my stomach from where I used to wear a belt in order to try and make a waste.  I would tighten it so hard that my skin would be itchy, red and blistery at the end of the day but at least when I put my hands on my waist, it would look as though I wasn't as fat as I was  I want you to know that I wouldn't eat my lunch because of you.  I thought this would make me skinnier.  I tried the whole vomiting thing as well but that wasn't for me. I wanted you to know that when I think about the time you locked me off the bus because if I was let on I would 'pop the tyres', I can feel my eyes sting when I try to hold back the tears.  If that wasn't bad enough, I can still remember the time when you asked the class to sing 'I feel the earth move under my feet' through the little bus windows as I headed to the office to call my mother to pick me up.  I failed the assignment that we were supposed to do as I never saw the play we were supposed to review.  In fact, it wasn't long after that I left that school.  I've been bullied before but what you subjected me to was disgusting.  I don't even have words for it.  It was torture . You seemed to tap away at me bit by bit until I broke.  Perhaps if I'd broken sooner you wouldn't have kept going but because I was advised to ignore you or not to react to you as this is the only way it would stop.  I didn't react to you and I did ignore you but you were relentless.  You just kept on going and going and going.  And how I wish I had my time again where I would just tell you to shut the fuck up and just stop but I can't do that as the time has passed so I need to find a way of moving on and this is where this letter comes into play.You and your friends are part of the reason I am who I am today.  You are the reason why I stick up for myself when someone is nasty to me or makes an unnecessary comment about my weight because I should have done it when I had the chance.  You are the reason I need to have at least 10 come backs stored up in my mind just in case some smart ass shouts something to me from their car window as I walk down the street because your constant taunts and bullying silenced me and I didn't know what to say.  You are the reason I turn Carole King off when I hear her song on the radio because I only hear your voice when it comes on the radio.  You're also one of the reasons I'm too scared to go to a school reunion.  You are the reason I'll never stand by and let someone do what you did to me.  As hard as it is for me to say this and even though I've deleted and rewritten this sentence a good twenty times, I forgive you for the way you treated me and I'm hoping that I can also forget.  One thing I've learnt about bullies over my time is that they bully others because of their own insecurities.  Now that I'm older and wiser, I can only guess what yours were and I'm sorry for whatever you were going through at the time that made you feel as though you could treat me the way you did.  From what I found out about you today, it seems as though you were able to turn around whatever was eating at you as a teenager into something good and I hope that has made you into a better person.  I don't wish you any harm nor would I ever wish what you did to me on you but I do believe in karma and when your karma comes, I hope you think of me just like I have thought of you.Stephanie. You can find what I wrote to Mx here https://www.dropbox.com/sh/qtdbb3vryjhsv0s/AABhVp554D4Z1uAUrisOb7G2a?dl=0 Which then spiraled into something crazy.  It wasn't long before I ended up on Wikipedia which just blew me away https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephanie_Payne Here is the link for the Butterfly Foundation https://thebutterflyfoundation.org.au/ You'll find information for Beyond Blue here https://www.beyondblue.org.au/ Information on Lifeline can be found here https://www.lifeline.org.au/ I welcome your questions, comments and feedback :) feel free to get in touch with me at any stage. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com  

In this episode I chat about consistency which is what I believe to be one of the three components that have helped me remain successful on my health and fitness journey.   I read an excerpt from a book called Mindset by Dr Carol S Dwerk.  You can find that book here.  If you have any other resources that are worth sharing, please let me know.  I am happy to share them in later Podcasts and on my social media so that others may also benefit from them. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com

In this episode I chat about exercise - how I started, how I keep going, why I do it and what sort of exercises I enjoy doing.   As promised in my Podcast, you can find a list of exercises here.  I hope you find it helpful!  If you can think of any that I have missed that you think I should add, let me know and I'll put them up! My PT Yannick is going to be joining me for a Podcast at a later date.  He is incredible.  Full of amazing ideas and suggestions.  Feel free to check out his Facebook page here.  His company is called MYFIT personal training and he comes highly recommended not just by me but by his other clients. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com

In this episode I chat about food.  I speak about my own personal struggles with food and eating emotionally, how I first started 'clean eating' and the sorts of things I've done to be able to maintain my current lifestyle.  I have picked the photo above as it makes me annoyed at how excited I was to have so many free Big Mac vouchers!  I was wrapped!  This is certainly a throw back as there is no way I'd do that now!  I was around 210kg in that photo.  How things have changed.   A review written about the book that I have recommended in this episode (food - the good girls drug: how to stop using food to control your feelings written by Sunny Sea Gold) can be found here.  If you have any other resources that you think others may find useful by all means get in touch and let me know and I'll share them. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward and you can email me at stephmflf@gmail.com

Welcome to my Podcast. This first episode is all about me.  I thought it was important to give a back story as to who I am, where I've come from and touch on some of the things that has made me into the person who I am today.   I touch on different topics that I plan on covering over the next few weeks and just introduce myself to those of you who don't already know me. Follow me on Instagram @movingforwardlookingforward or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/movingforwardlookingforward