The Mating Grounds Podcast

If you're a big fan of The Mating Grounds, the best place for you to go is The Art Of Charm and listen to Jordan's archived podcast episodes. 

Tucker Max, Nils Parker, and Charlie Hoehn talk about the end of the beginning for Joe and what he needs to do moving forward to improve his life, including how to find a good therapist. 

On this episode of Helping Joe, Nils and Charlie help Joe develop more empathy for the women he is seeing, explain to him why Tinder is not the best place for to spend his time finding dates, and give him examples of how to test and execute good ideas at his job.  This episode was sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order.     

This week on Helping Joe, Nils and Charlie talk with Joe about his health, why his energy is so low and what to do to get better. They also talk about gratitude & gratefulness (Joe doesn't have any) and the first week of his new job. This episode was sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order.     

In this episode, Nils and Charlie talk with Joe about his new job and the improvements he made (with Charlie's help) to his interviews that resulted in job offers. 

This week on Helping Joe, Charlie and Nils continue to help Joe on his job hunt and go over five of his recent interviews, including what he did right and wrong and how to make big improvements in talking to potential future employers. They also talk about common interview questions and having good body language. Towards the end of this episode they talk about the end of his last medium term relationship.  This episode was sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order.       

This is a special holiday episode of Helping Joe. The guys celebrate Festivus, a festival for the rest of us, with the Airing Of Grievances. In this episode, Joe goes through a list of grievances he has with Tucker, Nils, and Charlie over the past year. It's his turn to flip the script on them.  This episode was sponsored by Criquet Shirts, a high quality clothing company that designs simple, comfortable, old-school polo shirts made from 100% organic cotton. They hooked Joe up with their polo shirts which are now the best shirts he owns. Go to criquetshirts.com and use the promo code MATE to get 20% off your order.

This week on Helping Joe, everyone is frustrated with Joe’s continued list making and inaction. Joe went on a few interviews but his lack of effort is still woefully inadequate, and Tucker has finally had enough. Charlie & Nils regroup and help Joe get over his irrational thoughts and fears about getting a new job. This episode was sponsored by Criquet Shirts, a high quality clothing company that designs simple, comfortable, old-school polo shirts made from 100% organic cotton. They hooked Joe up with their polo shirts which are now the best shirts he owns. Go to criquetshirts.com and use the promo code MATE to get 20% off your order. This episode was also sponsored by Thrive Market, is a membership-based online shopping club that is making healthy living easy and affordable for everyone. For less than $5 a month, Thrive Market members can buy the best-selling healthy foods and products, always 25-50% off. Go to thrivemarket.com/mate for 1 month free membership + 20% off your first purchase.

In this episode of Helping Joe, Tucker and Nils help Joe get less dumb and talk about job interviews he did last week. But before they can go into their critiques and advice on how to interview better, they first wipe out his ideas about sales (which jobs involve sales) and his larger black & white views (provincial ideas) that are wrong. This episode was sponsored by Criquet Shirts, a high quality clothing company that designs simple, comfortable, old-school polo shirts made from 100% organic cotton. They hooked Joe up with their polo shirts which are now the best shirts he owns. Go to criquetshirts.com and use the promo code MATE to get 20% off your order. This episode was also sponsored by Thrive Market, is a membership-based online shopping club that is making healthy living easy and affordable for everyone. For less than $5 a month, Thrive Market members can buy the best-selling healthy foods and products, always 25-50% off. Go to thrivemarket.com/mate for 1 month free membership + 20% off your first purchase.

Tucker, Nils, and Charlie spend 2+ hours (Ep. 41 is Part 2) digging into Joe’s emotional issues and work habits. In this part, they show him why making 1,000+ pages of lists is a way to avoid action and how he can end his unproductive habits, go on job interviews (just like dates), find a good job, and live a better life.  This episode was sponsored by Criquet Shirts, a high quality clothing company that designs simple, comfortable, old-school polo shirts made from 100% organic cotton. They hooked Joe up with their polo shirts which are now the best shirts he owns. Go to criquetshirts.com and use the promo code MATE to get 20% off your order.

Tucker is back on the podcast this week, and he is angry. He, Charlie, and Nils dig into Joe's emotional issues and work habits. There is a big reason why he doesn't get anything done, and they help him realize that he has this anchor holding him down which he is emotionally attached to. Joe also goes on a date with a girl who has heard the podcast.  This episode was sponsored by Criquet Shirts, a high quality clothing company that designs simple, comfortable, old-school polo shirts made from 100% organic cotton. They hooked Joe up with their polo shirts which are now the best shirts he owns. Go to criquetshirts.com and use the promo code MATE to get 20% off your order. This episode was also sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order. 

This week on Helping Joe, Nils and Charlie continue to help Joe fix his faulty mental models. They talk about miserable people from the Midwest (Joe's from Ohio), pursuing a job that makes you happy, and the book Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by their friend Kamal Ravikant.  They also go through another list of companies Joe wants to work for, but he still didn't get this right.  This episode was sponsored by Peter Manning NYC, the best designed clothes for men 5'8'' and under. Use the discount code "Mate20" to get 20% off your order. 

In this episode of Helping Joe, Charlie and Nils dive back into Joe’s list of companies he thinks that he could work for. He used the Target part of Charlie's Land A Job You Love course to do this. They tell him how to fix his messed up mindset, including how to measure his own economic value to companies that are hiring, so he can get out of his own way and land a great job. They end the episode talking about a new girl that he met at improv. This episode was sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order.   

This week on Helping Joe, Nils and Charlie talk about Joe's latest speed dating adventure and Charlie hilariously reads Joe's very bro journal entry from that night. Later they review what Joe wrote about his last relationship and how to apply those lessons to his future mating efforts. They also go over his mindset practice and his list of target companies to work at.  This episode was sponsored by Peter Manning NYC, the best designed clothes for men 5'8'' and under. Use the discount code "Mate20" to get 20% off your order. 

In this episode of Helping Joe, Charlie and Nils put a hold on the career stuff to go back to Joe's dating issues and dig deeper into his messed up mindset and beliefs. They give him advice on changing his mindset and taking control of his thoughts so he doesn't get so down on himself and can live a better life. They also talk about life contentedness, female friendships, takeaways after a relationship ends, and why it's important to write things down.  This episode was sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order. 

This week on Helping Joe, Nils and Charlie go over Joe’s personal website that he made on Strikingly and they dig deeper into his career issues, why he holds on to the memory of old jobs, what skills he wants to be known for and build a career from, and which jobs might be great for him to do. Charlie gives Joe more exercises from his Land A Job You Love course. They also get updates from him on his dating and social activities over the last few weeks. This episode was sponsored by Peter Manning NYC, the best designed clothes for men 5'8'' and under. Use the discount code "Mate20" to get 20% off your order. 

In this episode of Helping Joe, Charlie and Nils break down Joe’s work history up to now, and not only find the beginnings of his story, but also find out things they never knew about him because he doesn’t talk about them at all. They talk about how to ask for testimonials and LinkedIn reviews, which website is best to use to show off your work and what you’ve done, and how early jobs are important to build upon and shouldn’t be diminished.  This episode was sponsored by Athletic Greens, the best whole foods green supplement out there. Go to athleticgreens.com/mate to get 50% off your first order. 

Tucker and Charlie begin this episode of Helping Joe by talking with Joe about a college girl he had been dating who suddenly ended the relationship when he was honest with her about his mating goals. They talk about what happened and how to handle a situation like this in the future. After that they dive back into Joe’s career issues where they help him recognize his fantasies and delusions and give him a reality check so he can move forward in his life. Charlie takes a more active role in this by giving Joe some homework from his Land A Job You Love course. This episode was sponsored by Peter Manning NYC, the best designed clothes for men 5'8'' and under. Use the discount code "Mate20" to get 20% off your order.   

This week is the first episode in the new direction of the Helping Joe podcast where Tucker, Nils, and Charlie help Joe get his life together by finding and building skills and a career.  In this episode Tucker & Nils map out Joe's end goal and what success looks like for him. They try to figure out what Joe really wants, what he likes to do, and what skills he has right now that he can work with.  Also, they bring up the difference between internal (intellectual) work and external (physical) work and which one Joe should explore work if he wants to be successful. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 23 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller talk about how to put everything in the book together to create a specifc mating plan for your life and then to go take action. When you inevitably screw up or fail, come back to the book, reread the chapters, adjust your plan or actions, and keep going. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 22 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller talk about how to look at sex as a means to an end, not an end in itself. It is just another part, the most intense part, of courtship or mating.  They also go over why penis size isn't as important as you think. Women care about many other traits first, which they explain here.  And because Mate did not include a lot about sex, they point you to the right resources to learn what you need to know about sex.       

In this special episode of Helping Joe, Tucker and Charlie talk with Joe about changing the direction of this podcast series. They go over Joe’s recent successes (ex. Joe made a female friend) and his increased emotional health and happiness over the last 6 months. And because he is now dating multiple women, they have to set a new goal for him or fix another important part of his life.

In Part 2 of Episode 30, Joe talks about the dates he had last week and updates Tucker and Nils on the three women he has been seeing. They give him advice on how to directly and maturely end a short romantic relationship and why he needs to give the women he is dating more respect as adults that can make their own decisions. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 21 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller explain what a date actually is, what the most important parts of a first date are, and why the checklist details don't matter that much.    They also go over what makes a great date place, spending money, and displaying your strengths. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 20 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller talk about the #1 question that they get from guys ("How do I talk to girls?" or "What do I say to her?"), and why it's not the most important thing to focus on.  Your traits and proofs (see past episodes) are fundamental to your mating success. Talking to women is just a way to reveal or signal those attractive traits and proofs.  They go over the different levels of communication and how to be a great conversationalist in this episode. 

This week on Helping Joe, Joe talks about what he thinks are his 5 biggest issues and patterns on this podcast and in his life. Tucker and Nils tell him what the best, most fundamental thing he can do right now to work with all of these at the same time. They also give him new goals to work on each week alongside dating women. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect. In Part 19 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller explain why for most guys volunteering is a better activity to meet women than going to bars and clubs. Make your mating life an extension of your social life.  They also go over more ways to meet women that fit your personality. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect. In Part 18 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller explain that when you improve your mate value and have more options, you need to develop your mate preferences. Which women do you want? They go over the 3 stages of choice in the human mating world and how men and women have different options and bargaining power at each stage.

This week in Part 2 of Episode 29, Joe talks about an interaction he had with two cute girls who wanted to take a picture with him. Tucker & Nils try to figure out why he was afraid and how to get over his fear of women and social anxiety. They also talk about how he doesn't need to be great or even try that hard to meet women and go out on dates. And they end with Joe's fixation on "trying to look cool" and how that screws him up in a lot of ways. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect. In Part 17 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller explain what a mating market is and how to adjust your mating market to meet a lot more women. In short, it's the supply & demand of dating.  They go over the different levels of picking a mating market from your country down to your neighborhood and even your job, giving many specific examples. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect. In Part 16 of The Mate Preview, Tucker & Dr. Miller explain how being romantic is not what you think (you don't need rose petals and candles) and how to pull it off by showing women your interest and intentions the right way.  

This week in Part 1 of Episode 29, Joe talks about 3 dates he went on, including the worst date he’s had in Austin and one that started poorly but ended wonderfully. Tucker and Nils talk to Joe about how to save a bad date, give him diet and sleep advice, and continue to dig into his emotional issues and how they relate to his dates. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect. In Part 15 of The Mate Preview, Tucker and Dr. Miller explain how men evolved to show off to women and what most guys don't understand about how women look at your aesthetics and cleanliness. They then go over the attractive skills you can build and how to invest in good style without getting into awful fads.

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 14 of The Mate Preview, Tucker and Dr. Miller, explain how women don't care about how much money you have, but they do care about what your financial resources signal about the attractive traits you have. And it's not about what you have. It's how you use it. For example, fun experiences are more attractive to most women than expensive material goods. "Most women would rather have an interesting, fun, kind husband with a middle-class income than a dull, disconnected, workaholic millionaire husband." - Tucker

In Part 2, Joe talks about another bedroom issue he had with a different woman. Charlie & Nils tell him what can do to avoid this in the future, the two emotional needs women have as clothes start to come off, and why life is easier and more fulfilling when you see women as good friends first. 

In this Q&A, Tucker, Nils, and Dr. Miller explain how to learn more about a potential long-term girlfriend (or anyone really). They give many ideas for how to force people to show you who they really are so that you can decide if you want to move forward in that relationship or not. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 13 of The Mate Preview, Tucker and Dr. Miller explain why women in general are more attracted to your prestige in a group than they are to your fame, money, or an alpha male attitude. That is what most guys get wrong about social status. Having good social skills not only makes you more attractive to women, but also introduces you to more women. They also go over short-term and long-term ways to improve your social proof and how to be an introvert but still have good social skills. For more on social proof, listen to our previous podcast episodes.

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 12 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain that just developing attractive traits is not enough. You must also signal (show, not tell) to women that you have these traits.   They go over signals that are visual (what you look like, what you wear, etc.) and behavioral (your activities, what you say & do, etc.) and how to signal your attractive traits. For more on the signaling theory, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 

In Part 1, Joe goes on two dates in one night and makes a big mistake in how he set these up. Charlie & Nils give him advice on giving himself the space and time to have better dates and when it’s okay to cancel dates. They also talk about bad advice Joe read from a guy who “hacked” online dating. “Don’t put a ticking clock on things that don’t need one.” – Nils Parker

In this Q&A Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain the many possible things going on when men who are not successful with women at all say that they have "high standards" when looking for women to date. What's most likely is that these guys are either very young or afraid to get rejected and fail. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 11 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how women don't want only assholes or just nice guys, but they do want men who are tough and assertive to the world but kind and caring to them; a tender defender.   They go over how to improve and display both agreeable and assertiveness. For more on the tender defender, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 10 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how willpower is the key to being an effective man, which ultimately is what women want (listen to The Mate Preview, Pt. 6: What Women Want) They go over how to build willpower, including the first key mindset that you need to adopt, the 5 steps to setting & accomplishing goals, and the multiple ways to display your willpower to women. For more on the willpower trait, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 

This week on Helping Joe, Joe has a breakthrough with the best date he has ever been on. Charlie & Tucker break down why and how this date went so well. Joe also unknowingly blows off another woman who wanted to have sex with him. Tucker & Charlie share similar funny personal stories. And they end the podcast talking with Joe about how to deal with toxic, judgmental people in his life. 

The answer to this question may seem obvious (and part of it is obvious), but Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain the deeper emotional issues going on with this guy, the many problems with his mindset, and ways to avoid this pessimism. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 9 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain the 6 types of intelligence and why women care about them. They also go over a few ways you can improve and display your intelligence to women.  For more on the intelligence trait and how to display your intelligence, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.    In Part 8 of The Mate Preview, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain why women care about your mental health (happiness, openness, and playfulness). It is a way for women to see that you are not a threat and that your brain is effective. They go over what you can do today to become more brain healthy and display that to women.  For more on the mental health trait, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 

In this episode of Helping Joe, Joe gives updates on the women that he went out with over the last two weeks. Charlie & Tucker give him high level and specific advice on how to avoid social isolation (find a tribe) and where best to spend his money. They also dive deeper into Joe’s emotional issues and tools he can use to solve these problems so he can better connect with women and friends.  This episode is sponsored by Land A Job You Love, a course from our own Charlie Hoehn.  

In this Q&A, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils explain how there is no checklist of skills that a real man should have. In general, women care much more about your personality traits and behaviors than any specific skill. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 7, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils go over why your health is so important to women and why it's not just about looking good. If you have a good body and are in shape, it signals you have deeper underlying traits of effectiveness. (Remember, women care about effectiveness in men, see The Mate Preview, Pt.6) They also explain how you don't need to be a bodybuilder or an athlete. In fact, you don't need even need to work out that much. They tell you empirically what most women are actually attracted to in terms of body shape and the most effectives things you can do today to become more healthy. For more on the physical health trait, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 

In this preview series, we go over each chapter in our upcoming book, Mate: Become the Man Women Want, explaining key takeaways and what to expect.  In Part 6, Tucker, Dr. Miller, and Nils go over what women want on a deep biological level and why they evolved to want these things in men. Dr. Miller is one of the world's leading experts on female mate choice. To sum up all the research, women evolved to want effective men. For more on understanding what women want, listen to our previous podcast episodes. 

This week on Helping Joe, Charlie Hoehn and Nils Parker give Joe feedback on OkCupid (see the blog notes) and Tinder after Joe gets frustrated with interactions on the dating app. They also dive into his sleep habits and ask him what a perfect day looks like. Joe does not have a specific answer. They explain why this is a big problem in his life and with his mating goals.  “Right now, you have no fucking clue where you are going... You are letting life happen to you and wandering around as a result. This exercise if it does nothing else will give you a destination to point yourself to and work towards.” - Nils Parker This episode is sponsored by Land A Job You Love, a course from our own Charlie Hoehn.