Mark Twain Speaks Podcast

As a schoolboy, Mark Twain was taught that Captain Cook was brutally murdered by the savages in the Sandwich Islands. When he travelled there he learned the truth. 

Mark Twain was lost in a snowstorm in the Nevada Territory. Seemingly, he and his friends were near death. They swore to give up drinking, smoking and gambling if they survived. 

Andrew Carnegie loved Mark Twain. Twain is the only one who dared make fun of Carnegie in public. Mr Twain will also request that you not put hot coffee between your legs.

 Mark Twain reveals two things -- Suzy was his favorite child. Also, the true editor of Huckleberry Finn was his wife Livy. 

In this episode, Mark Twain discusses gun ownership in comparison to how it was during his time.

 In Mark Twain's time, plantation owners and congressmen were often the same people. In this podcast, Mr Twain also compares lawyers and plumbers. The plumbers come out on top.

During the slavery era, Westerners often felt morally superior to the Southern slave owners. But as Mark Twain witnessed, the abuse of the Chinese in San Francisco was equally horrendous. 

Mark Twain praises America's railroads for their kindness as they return the remains of people they kill -- in complimentary baskets. They provide jobs for high-priced lawyers and basket makers.

Mark Twain starts off by celebrating the 4th of July but loses focus. He wants to make our jury system great again by using Congressmen as jurors. 

Social media didn't exist in Twain's time. He had to find other ways to create his fame in New York City. This podcast will reveal how Mark Twain became famous for giving away 3,000 tickets to his lecture on the Hawaiian Islands.  

An elderly British woman needed to see her doctor. The waiting room was filled with Portuguese immigrants. Mark Twain explains her frustration and why she voted for Brexit. 

When Mark Twain was 15, he gave up smoking in an effort to impress the girls in Hannibal. It was torture.  It was a glorious day when he went back to the joys of smoking. . .

Things that we don't earn, mean the most to us. Mark Twain's honorary degree from Oxford cost him nothing but meant everything. 

When Mark Twain fell in love with Olivia Langdon, he looked for ways to spend time wooing her. A fall from a buggy gave him that opportunity... 

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it." Mark Twain was the bad child, Henry was the good child. Our mother blamed me for almost everything -- and most of the time she was right. 

The first voice that Mark Twain heard was that of his mother, Jane. She was always an ally of the helpless. The lessons he learned of compassion, kindness and bravery he would carry throughout his long life. 

In this podcast, Mark Twain discusses the Jews. He corrects a mistake he made in the Harpers Monthly. Mark Twain expounds on the Jews' service to G-d AND country. 

Mark Twain considered Helen Keller to be one of the most remarkable of all Americans -- male or female. In 1906, Twain read a letter written by Helen at a fundraising event in New York City. In this podcast, Mark Twain will read the letter. 

Mark Twain storyteller Don McNeill will attempt to talk about children. He will fail and end up talking about Lying! Please forgive him!

International Women's Day was celebrated on March the 8th. Mark Twain feels compelled to comment on this important event. 

Mark Twain interpreter Don McNeill is a proud member of Toastmasters. Mr. Twain learned the art of public speaking without the Toastmaster's experience. How was he able to accomplish this? This podcast will answer that question.

I hate work even when another person does it. I've felt this way since childhood. Today -- it's my task to find ways to relieve the incredible stress placed on college coaches. They often are forced to accept millions for just watching the efforts of unpaid athletes. Imagine the horror!

In North Carolina -- there has been a controversy surrounding a Confederate Statue known as Silent Sam. This offensive pile of chiselled stone has been removed. Perhaps we should look elsewhere on campus for the last vestiges of the plantation system. Let's consider the athletic department; where those who do all the work are forbidden any opportunity to be compensated.

The “N” word. Did that get your attention? Someone said that I use that offensive word more than 200 times in Huckleberry Finn. I have chosen not to use it for my listeners today. I will continue to paint the picture of slavery – as I saw if from the perspective of a child growing up in Hannibal, Missouri. I will also talk about the slaver trader – a person hated by all fair-minded members of my community. Kindly listen with an open mind – and heart. Mark Twain.

In my time – nobody talked about racism and slavery as me. That is, no white person. While I can never claim the experience that Booker T. Washington had as a former slave – I feel that my story has value. I grew up in slave country. My father owned and “borrowed” slaves from nearby farmers. Kindly listen as I relate the story about my dear Mother. She taught me that slavery was wrong and I never forgot that lesson.

I have reached the 7th tiered summit. This did not occur overnight. It’s my great pleasure to tell my listeners how much wisdom I have accumulated and to share it. I need to thank everyone for praising me on reaching this milestone. I invite you to light up a cigar and listen.

Everyone who knows me – know that I would rather teach morals than to have them myself. If my listeners will listen carefully to 3 carefully selected stories – they have an opportunity to lead morally, correct lives. Kindly share what you have learned with your loved ones. Mark Twain

When introductions are necessary – I prefer to them myself: that way I can get in all the facts. I will share with listeners some favorite intros. Feel free to use them at your own events. At my advanced age – I prefer never to be introduced again. Mark Twain

I’m told that I must introduce myself, so here goes. My name is Don McNeill and I am a Mark Twain scholar and interpreter. We have no recordings of Mr. Twain’s voice – so the word “impersonator” cannot be used. That being said – allow me to give a brief background on myself that hopefully explains why you might choose to listen to me and hopefully attend one of my live Mark Twain Speaks performances.

Mark Twain tells stories from his boyhood and how a measles epidemic almost killed him when he was younger. Mark Twain assures that we will get through this latest crisis with the help of doctors and nurses.

Patti Williams of Raleigh, NC shares some of your experiences growing up in segregated Birmingham, AL. 

As a schoolboy, Mark Twain was taught that Captain Cook was brutally murdered by the savages in the Sandwich Islands. When he travelled there he learned the truth.

Mark Twain was lost in a snowstorm in the Nevada Territory. Seemingly, he and his friends were near death. They swore to give up drinking, smoking and gambling if they survived. 

Andrew Carnegie loved Mark Twain. Twain is the only one who dared make fun of Carnegie in public. Mr Twain will also request that you not put hot coffee between your legs.

 Mark Twain reveals two things — Suzy was his favorite child. Also, the true editor of Huckleberry Finn was his wife Livy. 

In this episode, Mark Twain discusses gun ownership in comparison to how it was during his time.

 In Mark Twain’s time, plantation owners and congressmen were often the same people. In this podcast, Mr Twain also compares lawyers and plumbers. The plumbers come out on top.

During the slavery era, Westerners often felt morally superior to the Southern slave owners. But as Mark Twain witnessed, the abuse of the Chinese in San Francisco was equally horrendous. 

Somethings never change. In Mark Twain’s time, families fought over the possessions of the dear departed. And so it is today.

Mark Twain praises America’s railroads for their kindness as they return the remains of people they kill — in complimentary baskets. They provide jobs for high-priced lawyers and basket makers.