Married to a Narcissist- Am I Crazy!?

I ended up getting my first dose of the Pfizer vaccine yesterday. So far, the only side effect I’ve noticed is a sore arm with a light bruise where the shot was given. Things are also going well at work. I’m feeling very positive about things. ☺️ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

I am feeling so much better than I did this morning, so I wanted to give you all a positive update. ☺️ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

Overall, my trip to go see my husband went really well and we got along great. However, this week back at work has been a little bit rough so far. Hopefully this low will make the better times better. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

Hey everybody! Thank you for your patience in waiting for new episodes. I’m back! In this episode, I start with an update on my marriage. I then go into my struggles with mental health and finding a balance when it comes to medication, as well as my battle with COVID-19. I hope you find my words helpful.

This is a short, guided meditation to walk you through the DBT skill of radical acceptance. Enjoy! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

My narc and I are doing really well lately! He hasn’t been drinking, which I think has really helped. I took an international flight to see him last month, which was very anxiety-provoking, but I’m glad I did it! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

So, my narcissistic husband and I have officially been married for one year. There have definitely been ups and downs, and the future is very uncertain, but I have been keeping up with therapy and DBT skills and i’m feeling very happy and hopeful overall. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

I apologize for having been out for a while. My plan is to start a new season with specific skills that I’m learning as a focal point for each episode. I hope this will help my wonderful listeners. I’m always welcome to your feedback.

Well, of course, there is trouble in paradise again

It had now been almost two months since lockdown and quarantine measures started taking place where I live. I have greatly reduced the dosages of my stimulant, anti-anxiety, antidepressant, and insomnia medications while still managing to stay happy, healthy, and productive. My husband and I are getting along really well and... it looks like his visa to immigrate to the USA might get approved soon! Is this too good to be true? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

In this episode, I share the progress I have made through online counseling and guidance from a good psychiatrist. My husband and I have been getting along surprisingly well... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

Well, one would think that my decreased work load and restrictions keeping me from getting too far out of my comfort zone would make it easy to get off my stimulant medications. Think again

So, as I’m sure many of you predicted, things went a bit downhill as far as the headlines of my marriage goes. My husband asked for money yesterday. In exchange, I asked for the truth. People with narcissistic tendencies don’t like to tell the truth if it doesn’t portray their ideal image of themselves. This is how it played out and how I am learning to cope better. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

Yay - I most likely do NOT have the COVID-19 virus, so I’m finally venturing out into the living room

It’s been almost six full days since I headed home from the airport, and, so far, I’m showing no signs of having caught the virus.

With all of this craziness going on due to COVID-19, I had to purchase a new flight to come home sooner than I’d planned. I barely made it out of the country before the airport sit down! On a different note, things went surprisingly well with my narcissistic husband... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

So, I have some issues of my own going on. I’m in the process of finding a new psychiatrist and trying to get my medication situation figured out. That being said, I’m actually feeling pretty optimistic about my upcoming trip to go see my husband. Here’s where I’m at now. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

I’m feeling pretty frustrated with myself. At this point, I don’t even know why I’m still with my husband. Maybe the fear of being alone has finally hit me. Maybe I feel too damaged for a healthy relationship. There is no justifiable reason that comes to mind, though. Sigh... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

My husband has been especially distant lately, and his stonewalling has been studying earlier and earlier every weekend. Do I still love him? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

I’m getting tired of being ignored every weekend and feeling like the last thing on my narcissist’s list of priorities. Sigh... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

I woke up late this morning, and was feeling pretty depressed and unmotivated. When I got stuck in traffic and realized I was going to be late for work - again! - I felt like just calling in sick to work, but I sucked it up and went in. I’m so glad I did! The DBT skill “opposite action” has been sooo helpful, as has “building mastery.” I hope these skills can help you too! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

This episode is a brief update/follow-up to yesterday’s episode. This is how things played out. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

I was recently listening to a speech about shame given by the author Brené Brown. It serves a powerful reminder of the catastrophic a sex I was soon as well as ways to overcome this harmful emotion. In this episode, I talk about one way it has came into play in my toxic relationship with my narcissist. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

Ugh, so he’s gotten under my skin again!

Are you wondering if you are dating a narcissist or other type of toxic person? In this episode, I talk about one of the red flags commonly seen with this type of toxic person. I also give you all an update regarding how things are going between my narcissist and me. I hope you find this episode helpful, and I thank you so much for your support! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

Narcissists, especially the covert types, will take advantage of your empathy and try to guilt-trip you are make you feel sorry for them to get what they want. Don’t give in! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

In this episode, I share my daily journal entry, as well as the structure I have found most beneficial. Enjoy! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

Narcissists- especially the covert type - know how to push your buttons and drive you crazy. Gaslighting is a surprisingly effective manipulation tactic. Social media gives toxic people another tool to manipulate you. Trust your instincts! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

I’ve been trying to wean myself off Adderall for about a week now. Things were going well until I had a mini-breakdown last night. I was crying and looking for detox centers. Here’s how I’m feeling today... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

So, my husband usually gets drunk and ignores me in Sundays. I’m happy to say that this was not the case yesterday! (I’ll also let you ask know how my Adderall taper-down is going.) --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

I just finished my first appointment with a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders and addiction. I am super excited about taking this new step! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

So I was able to regulate my emotions, apologize to my mom, and get things done today despite reducing my Adderall dosage. Things are looking up!

Yesterday, my therapist mentioned the fact that many people get into relationships with a person who does not treat them well because they feel that they don’t deserve any better. I did not think that was the case with me, but after having a difficult day and letting my emotions get the best of me, I am reconsidering my initial opinion... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

I’m currently struggling to reduce my dependence on my medication. I tried before, but I felt even more dependent on my narcissist. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

One of the red flags that may indicate that you are dating a covert narcissist is the pity play. Learn more about this strategy narcissist use to manipulate a more empathetic partner. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

I was feeling a bit nostalgic last night thinking about some of my good memories of times I’ve spent with my husband... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

I think I’m starting to see signs that I’m ready to move on... or at least we’ll --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

While listening to an audiobook told from the point of view of a therapist, I suddenly realized one of the key reasons why I may be staying with my narcissist. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

Hey, I’m just feeling kind of down about myself and nervous, so I guess I’m stalling before going into the bar by myself

So I slept with somebody else last night.

So I woke up feeling super grumpy and tired, and I was not at all looking forward to the day. I was running late for work because I didn’t hear my alarm, and let me anxiety get the best of me. However, I practiced some breathing exercises shortly before arriving at work, and I think the emotional regulation skills that I have been practicing - thanks to my “DBT Coach” app are starting to help. Yay!

After being hurt and disrespected on so many occasions, and practically discarded on a weekly basis, my husband’s inability to change his hurtful behavior - or even validate my pain - has me considering cheating. Nooooo!!! (I also briefly talk about how my ADHD diagnosis affects our relationship dynamic.). Happy Humpday!

I decided to share the first audio message I sent to my old counselor. I well keep you all posted on my progress!

So my husband apologized first thing this morning, which is very rare for him. I was so happy going to dance practice for the first time in many months not feeling heartbroken. Of course, he tried to pick a fight as I was leaving. However, this time I didn’t let him get to me. And this episode, I also talk about some of my own personal theories behind some of my husbands maladaptive behaviors as well as some strategies and tools that have been helpful in my healing. I hope that you are find them just as helpful. Everybody deserves to be happy.

I started off the day on Friday feeling really grumpy and negative about myself, so I decided to use some of the tools and skills I have been studying. Wow! It made such a positive impact on my day! I hope they can help you as well.

So, tonight my husband decided to randomly start texting me insults and saying he wants me to cancel his visa petition. I don’t feel like my emotions are out of control this time. Well I finally be able to move on? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support

According to my research and personal experience, and relationships with narcissists are often full of ups and downs. I have heard that the abs become less frequent over time, and the downs become more frequent and intense over time. However, so far, in my relationship, Press the ups and downs have been quite consistent and predictable. This is a typical or Thursday my relationship..

Good evening everyone! I just wanted to touch base with you all and give you an update on how I’m feeling now after having practiced some of the skills that I have learned on my own through DBT workbook’s and an app based on dialectical behavioral therapy. I hope this provides some hope for any of you struggling with your emotions.

So, my husband ignored me for most of the weekend and chose to drink instead of talking to me. For some reason this seem to be mutually exclusive for him

I’m getting so tired of being ignored every Sunday. I don’t know if I can continue to go on like this anymore.

Hello everyone! And it’s the episode I really get deep. I share a lot of very personal information about my past and current struggles with mental health. I also share information regarding tools and coping mechanisms that I am currently using. I will continue to publish episodes to keep you all updated on my progress. Thank you so much for listening! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/selfdiscovery/support