Podcasts about DBT

Do you have a teen whose emotions feel huge and explosive—and nothing you say seems to calm things down?Do you find yourself reacting out of fear, walking on eggshells, or second-guessing whether you're doing any of this “right”? In this episode, Colleen O'Grady talks with therapist and author Katie K. May about what's really happening when teens have big, intense emotions—and why common parent responses (like “You're fine” or “Relax”) often backfire. Katie introduces the concept of “fire feelers,” teens who experience emotions as all-consuming, and explains how self-destructive behaviors can become a desperate attempt to shut down emotional pain. You'll learn why validation is the fastest way to lower emotional intensity, how “radical acceptance” helps parents stop fighting reality and start rebuilding connection, and why parents need a plan to regulate their own nervous system so they can respond instead of react—especially when safety is a concern. Guest Bio: Katie K. May Katie K. May is a licensed therapist, author, speaker, and group practice owner. She founded Creative Healing, a multi-location teen support center in the Philadelphia area, and is the author of You're On Fire, It's Fine: Effective Strategies for Parenting Teens with Self-Destructive Behaviors. With lived experience as a teen who turned to self-harm, Katie is one of a select few board-certified DBT clinicians in Pennsylvania. She equips parents and clinicians with practical, trauma-informed tools to decode behavior as survival and create lasting change. Three Takeaways Validation lowers the emotional “fire.” Before problem-solving, teens need to feel seen and understood—validation helps calm the nervous system and opens the door to change. Radical acceptance reduces parental suffering. Accepting “this is where we are” doesn't mean approving—it means stopping the fight with reality so you can respond more effectively. Parents need their own regulation plan. A “stress meter” and a proactive calming strategy help moms manage fear, avoid catastrophic thinking, and stay steady when emotions run high. Learn More at: https://katiekmay.com/ Follow at https://www.instagram.com/katiekmay/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of It's All Your Fault, host Megan Hunter interviews Amanda Smith, LCSW, about her groundbreaking new book on self-compassion and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills for people who have borderline personality disorder traits. The discussion explores how incorporating self-compassion into treatment can enhance recovery and improve outcomes.Understanding Self-Compassion in BPD TreatmentThe conversation delves into how self-compassion serves as a vital but often overlooked component in treating borderline personality disorder traits. Amanda Smith draws on 19 years of clinical experience to explain why traditional confrontational approaches often backfire, while self-compassion can help reduce self-destructive behaviors and improve emotional regulation.Research shows that increased self-compassion correlates with better mental health outcomes, healthier relationships, and reduced anxiety and depression. This episode examines how these findings specifically apply to people working to manage borderline personality disorder traits.Questions We Answer in This EpisodeHow has treatment for borderline personality disorder evolved over the past 20 years?What role does self-compassion play in DBT skills training?How can family members support loved ones who cannot access immediate treatment?When should boundaries and limits be introduced in treatment?How does self-compassion affect recovery outcomes?Key TakeawaysSelf-compassion can serve as a replacement skill for self-destructive behaviorsDBT skills can be learned and practiced by family members to support loved onesTreatment approaches work best when starting with validation before introducing structureRecovery is possible with appropriate evidence-based treatmentEarly intervention, even before age 18, can be beneficial when approached appropriatelyThe episode provides hope and practical guidance for anyone impacted by borderline personality disorder traits, while highlighting the importance of combining clinical skill development with self-compassion practices. Listeners will gain insights into both professional and personal approaches to supporting recovery.Additional ResourcesWatch this episode on YouTube!Expert Publications by Amanda L. SmithThe Self-Compassion Workbook for BPDThe Dialectical Behavior Therapy Wellness Planner: 365 Days of Healthy Living for Your Body, Mind, and SpiritThe Borderline Personality Disorder Wellness Planner for Families: 52 Weeks of Hope, Inspiration, and Mindful Ideas for Greater Peace and HappinessExpert PublicationsSLIC Solutions for Conflict: Setting Limits & Imposing Consequences in 2 1/2 StepsProfessional & Personal DevelopmentAmanda Smith's Family DBT courseHCI's courses:Conflict Influencer® - for co-parents (new classes starting January 2026)Conflict Influencer® - for famlies (new classes starting January 2026)High-Conflict Law Certification - for legal professionalsConnect With UsVisit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.comSubmit questions for Bill and MeganBrowse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formatsFind these show notes and all past episode notes on our websiteImportant NoticeOur discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:46) - Meet Amanda Smith (03:34) - Creating a Life Worth Living (06:03) - Progression Over Time (09:45) - Other Terms (11:54) - Lack of Awareness (13:30) - Addressing with DBT (14:50) - Exceptions and Causes (16:11) - Giving Hope (17:55) - Age Groups (19:51) - When They Can't Get Into Treatment (24:37) - Boundaries and Limits (28:32) - Amanda's New Book (31:57) - Compassion for Self (37:11) - Trying the Opposite (41:59) - The Book (43:32) - Wrap Up

In this episode of "From Borderline to Beautiful," host Rose Skeeters shares a compelling story illustrating the importance of practice and preparation in managing stress and emotions. Rose encourages listeners to reflect on their own approaches to therapy and recovery. She stresses the importance of daily practice, routine, and self-care in building resilience against emotional challenges. By committing to small, consistent actions, individuals can better prepare themselves for moments of stress and emotional upheaval. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to engage in their recovery work daily, fostering a deeper understanding of their emotions and enhancing their ability to cope with life's challenges.Keywordsemotional regulation, therapy, DBT, CBT, self-care, recovery, practice skills, mental health, resilience, personal growthNeed individual support? Schedule a session with Rose here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/individual-sessions/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠To schedule with Jay, click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/22608/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Gift cards now available for purchase here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/gift-card/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠**This episode is colloquial not clinical, using personal anecdotes to support conveying information in an informal, relatable way**

Episode Notes This week on Live Like the World is Dying, we have another re-run episode. Margaret and Smokey talk about ways to go about mental first aid, how to alter responses to trauma for you self and as a community, different paths to resiliency, and why friendship and community are truly the best medicine. Host Info Margaret can be found on twitter @magpiekilljoy or instagram at @margaretkilljoy. Publisher Info This show is published by Strangers in A Tangled Wilderness. We can be found at www.tangledwilderness.org, or on Twitter @TangledWild and Instagram @Tangled_Wilderness. You can support the show on Patreon at www.patreon.com/strangersinatangledwilderness. Transcript LLWD:Smokey on Mental First Aid Margaret 00:15 Hello and welcome to Live Like the World is Dying, your podcast are what feels like the end times. I'm your host, Margaret killjoy. And, this week or month...or let's just go with 'episode'. This episode is going to be all about mental health and mental health first aid and ways to take care of your mental health and ways to help your community and your friends take care of their mental health, and I think you'll like it. But first, this podcast is a proud member of the Channel Zero network of anarchists podcasts. And here's a jingle from another show on the network. Margaret 01:52 Okay, with me today is Smokey. Smokey, could you introduce yourself with your your name, your pronouns, and I guess a little bit about your background about mental health stuff? Smokey 02:04 Sure, I'm Smokey. I live and work in New York City. My pronouns are 'he' and 'him.' For 23 years, I've been working with people managing serious mental illness in an intentional community, I have a degree in psychology, I have taught psychology at the University level, I have been doing social work for a long time, but I've been an anarchist longer. Margaret 02:43 So so the reason I want to have you on is I want to talk about mental health first aid, or I don't know if that's the way it normally gets expressed, but that's the way I see it in my head. Like how are...I guess it's a big question, but I'm interested in exploring ways that we can, as bad things happen that we experience, like some of the best practices we can do in order to not have that cause lasting mental harm to us. Which is a big question. But maybe that's my first question anyway. Smokey 03:12 I mean, the, the truth is bad things will happen to us. It's part of living in the world, and if you are a person that is heavily engaged in the world, meaning, you know, you're involved in politics, or activism, or even just curious about the world, you will probably be exposed on a more regular basis to things that are bad, that can traumatize us. But even if you're not involved in any of those things, you're going to go through life and have really difficult things happen to you. Now, the good news is, that's always been the case for people. We've always done this. And the good news is, we actually know a lot about what goes into resilience. So, how do you bounce back quickly and hopefully thrive after these experiences? I think that is an area that's only now being really examined in depth. But, we have lots of stories and some research to show that actually when bad things happen to us, there is an approach that actually can help catalyst really impressive strength and move...change our life in a really positive direction. We also know that for most people, they have enough reserve of resiliency that....and they can draw upon other resiliency that they're not chronically affected by it, however, and I would argue how our society is kind of structured, we're seeing more and more people that are suffering from very serious chronic effects of, what you said, bad things happening, or what is often traumatic things but it's not just traumatic things that cause chronic problems for us. But, that is the most kind of common understanding so, so while most people with most events will not have a chronic problem, and you can actually really use those problems, those I'm sorry, those events, let's call them traumatic events, those traumatic events they'll really actually improve your thriving, improve your life and your relationship to others in the world. The fact is, currently, it's an ever growing number of people that are having chronic problems. And that's because of the system. Margaret 06:19 Yeah, there's this like, there was an essay a while ago about it, I don't remember it very well, but it's called "We Are Also Very Anxious," and it it was claiming that anxiety is one of the general affects of society today, because of kind of what you're talking about, about systems that set us up to be anxious all the time and handle things in... Smokey 06:42 I think what most people don't understand is, it is consciously, in the sense that it's not that necessarily it's the desire to have the end goal of people being anxious, and people being traumatized, but it is conscious in that we know this will be the collateral outcome of how we set up the systems. That I think is fairly unique and and really kind of pernicious. Margaret 07:17 What are some of the systems that are setting us up to be anxious or traumatized? Smokey 07:23 Well, I'm gonna reverse it a little bit, Margaret. I'm going to talk about what are the things we need to bounce back or have what has been called 'resilience,' and then you and I can explore how our different systems actually make us being able to access that much more difficult. Margaret 07:47 Okay. Oh, that makes sense. Smokey 07:49 The hallmark of resiliency, ironically, is that it's not individual. Margaret 07:57 Okay. Smokey 07:57 In fact, if you look at the research, there are very few, there's going to be a couple, there's gonna be three of them, but very few qualities of an individual psychology or makeup that is a high predictor of resiliency. Margaret 08:20 Okay. Smokey 08:21 And these three are kind of, kind of vague in the sense they're not, they're not terribly dramatic, in a sense. One is, people that tend to score higher on appreciation of humor, tends to be a moderate predictor of resiliency. Margaret 08:46 I like that one. Smokey 08:47 You don't have to be funny yourself. But you can appreciate humor. Seems to be a....and this is tends to be a cross cultural thing. It's pretty low. There are plenty of people that that score very low on that, that also have resiliency. That's the other thing, I'll say that these three personality traits are actually low predictors of resiliency. Margaret 09:13 Compared to the immunity ones that you're gonna talk about? Smokey 09:16 So one is appreciation of humor seems to be one. So, these are intrinsic things that, you know, maybe we got from our family, but but we hold them in ourselves, right? The second one is usually kind of put down as 'education.' And there tends to be a reverse bell curve. If you've had very, very low education, you tend to be more resilient. If you've had extreme professionalization, you know, being a doctor, being a lawyer, well, not even being a lawyer, because that's the only...but many, many years of schooling, PhD things like that, it's not what you study. There's something about... Smokey 10:10 Yeah, or that you didn't. They're almost equal predictors of who gets traumatized. And then the the last one is kind of a 'sense of self' in that it's not an ego strength as we kind of understand it, but it is an understanding of yourself. The people that take the surveys, that they score fairly high....So I give you a survey and say, "What do you think about Smokey on these different attributes?" You give me a survey and say, "Smokey, how would you rate yourself on these different attributes?" Margaret 10:11 It's that you studied. Margaret 10:32 Okay. Smokey 10:59 So, it's suggesting that I have some self-reflexivity about what my strengths and weaknesses are. I can only know that because they're married by these also. Margaret 11:11 Okay. So it's, it's not about you rating yourself high that makes you resilient, it's you rating yourself accurately tohow other people see you. Smokey 11:18 And again, I want to stress that these are fairly low predictors. Now, you'll read a million books, kind of pop like, or the, these other ones. But when you actually look at the research, it's not, you know, it's not that great. So those..however, the ones that are big are things like 'robustness of the social network.' So how many relations and then even more, if you go into depth, 'what are those relationships' and quantity does actually create a certain level of quality, interestingly, especially around things called 'micro-social interactions,' which are these interactions that we don't even think of as relationships, maybe with storepersons, how many of these we have, and then certain in depth, having that combined with a ring of kind of meaningful relationships. And meaningful meaning not necessarily who is most important to me, but how I share and, and share my emotions and my thoughts and things like that. So, there's a lot on that. That is probably the strongest predictor of resilience. Another big predictor of resilience is access to diversity in our social networks. So, having diverse individuals tend to give us more resiliency, and having 'time,' processing time, also gives us more...are high predictors of resiliency, the largest is a 'sense of belonging.' Margaret 13:14 Okay. Smokey 13:15 So that trauma...events that affect our sense of belonging, and this is why children who have very limited opportunities to feel a sense of belonging, which are almost always completely limited, especially for very young children to the family, if that is cut off due to the trauma, or it's already dysfunctional and has nothing to do with the trauma, that sense of belonging, that lack of sense of belonging makes it very difficult to maintain resilience. So. So those are the things that, in a nutshell, we're going to be talking about later about 'How do we improve these?' and 'How do we maximize?' And 'How do we leverage these for Mental Health First Aid?' We can see how things like the internet, social media, capitalism, you know, kind of nation state building, especially as we understand it today, all these kinds of things errode a lot of those things that we would want to see in building resilient people. Margaret 14:28 Right. Smokey 14:28 And, you know, making it more difficult to access those things that we would need. Margaret 14:34 No, that's...this...Okay, yeah, that makes it obvious that the answer to my question of "What are the systems that deny us resiliency?" are just all of this. Yeah, because we're like....most people don't have...there's that really depressing statistic or the series of statistics about the number of friends that adults have in our society, and how it keeps going down every couple of decades. Like, adults just have fewer and fewer friends. And that... Smokey 15:00 The number, the number is the same for children, though too. Margaret 15:05 Is also going down, is what you're saying? Smokey 15:07 Yes. They have more than adults. But compared to earlier times, they have less. So, the trend is not as steep as a trendline. But, but it is still going down. And more importantly, there was a big change with children at one point, and I'm not sure when it historically happened. But, the number of people they interacted with, was much more diverse around age. Margaret 15:39 Oh, interesting. Smokey 15:40 So they had access to more diversity. Margaret 15:43 Yeah, yeah. When you talk about access to diversity, I assume that's diversity in like a lot of different axis, right? I assume that's diversity around like people's like cultural backgrounds, ethnic backgrounds, age. Like, but even like... Smokey 15:56 Modes of thought. Margaret 15:58 Yeah, well, that's is my guess, is that if you're around more people, you have more of an understanding that like, reality is complicated, and like different people see things in different ways. And so therefore, you have a maybe a less rigid idea of what should happen. So, then if something happens outside of that, you're more able to cope, or is this...does... like, because I look at each of these things and I can say why I assume they affect resiliency, but obviously, that's not what you're presenting, you're not presenting how they affect resiliency, merely that they seem to? Smokey 16:34 Yeah, and I don't know, if we know exactly how they affect, and we don't know how they...the effect of them together, you know, social sciences, still pretty primitive. So they, they need to look at single variables, often. But you know, we know with chemistry and biology and ecology, which I think are a little more sophisticated...and physics, which is more sophisticated. The real interesting stuff is in the combinations. Margaret 17:09 Yeah. Okay. Smokey 17:10 So what happens when you have, you know, diversity, but also this diverse and robust social network? Is that really an addition? Or is that a multiplication moment? For resiliency. Margaret 17:23 Right. And then how does that affect like, if that comes at the expense of...well, it probably wouldn't, but if it came at the expense of processing time or something. Smokey 17:33 Exactly. Margaret 17:35 Or, like, you know, okay, I could see how it would balance with education in that, like, I think for a lot of people the access to diversity that they encounter first is like going off to college, right, like meeting people from like, different parts of the world, or whatever. Smokey 17:49 I forgot to mention one other one, but it is, 'meaning.' Meaning is very important. People that score high, or report, meaning deep, kind of core meaning also tend to have higher resiliency. That being said, they...and don't, don't ever confuse resiliency with like, happiness or contentment. It just means that the dysfunction or how far you're knocked off track due to trauma, and we're, we're using trauma in the larger sense of the word, you know, how long it takes you to get back on track, or whether you can even get back on track to where you were prior to the event is what we're talking about. So it's not, this is not a guide to happiness or living a fulfilled life. It's just a guide to avoid the damage. Margaret 19:01 But if we made one that was a specifically a 'How to have a happy life,' I feel like we could sell it and then have a lot of money.Have you considered that? [lauging] Smokey 19:11 Well one could argue whether that's even desirable to have a happy life. That's a whole philosophical thing. That's well beyond my paygrade Margaret 19:22 Yeah, every now and then I have this moment, where I realized I'm in this very melancholy mood, and I'm getting kind of kind of happy about it. And I'm like, "Oh, I'm pretty comfortable with this. This is a nice spot for me." I mean, I also like happiness, too, but you know. Okay, so, this certainly implies that the, the way forward for anyone who's attempting to build resiliency, the sort of holistic solution is building community. Like in terms of as bad stuff happens. Is that... Smokey 19:58 Community that's...and community not being just groups. Okay, so you can, I think, you know, the Internet has become an expert at creating groups. There lots of groups. But community, or communitas or the sense of belonging is more than just a shared interest and a shared knowledge that there's other like-minded people. You'll hear the internet was great for like minded people to get together. But, the early internet was really about people that were sharing and creating meaning together. And I think that was very powerful. That, you know, that seems harder to access on today's Internet, and certainly the large social media platforms are consciously designed to achieve certain modes of experience, which do not lend themselves to that. Margaret 21:06 Right, because it's like the...I don't know the word for this. Smokey 21:10 It's Capitalism. Like, yeah, we're hiding the ball. The ball is Capitalism. Margaret 21:14 Yeah. Smokey 21:14 And how they decided to go with an advertising model as opposed to any other model, and that requires attention. Margaret 21:21 Yeah. Because it seems like when you talk about a robust social network, I mean, you know, theoretically, social network, like social networks, you know, Twitter calls itself a social network, right? And is there anything in the micro social interactions that one has online? Is there value in that? Or do you think that the overall...I mean, okay, because even like looking at... Smokey 21:46 I think there has to be value, I think, yeah, they did. I was reading just today, actually, about research, it was in England, with...this one hospital decided to send postcards to people who had been hospitalized for suicidal attempts. Margaret 22:09 Okay. Smokey 22:10 Most of them ended up in the mental health thing, some of them didn't, because they they left beyond, you know, against medical advice, or whatever. But, anyone that came in presenting with that a month, and then three months later, they sent another postcard just saying, "You know, we're all thinking about you, we're hoping you're all you're doing, alright. We have faith in you," that kind of thing like that, right. Nice postcard, purposely chosen to have a nice scene, sent it out. And they followed up, and they found a significant reduction in further attempts, rehospitalizations of these people, so that's a very, you know, there's no, it's a one way communication, it's not person-to-person, and it had some impact on I would guess one could argue the resiliency of those people from giving into suicidal ideation. Right. Margaret 23:13 Yeah. Smokey 23:14 So I think this is to say that, you know, we'd be...unplugging the internet, you know, that kind of Luddite approach doesn't make sense. There is a value to answer your question to the the internet's micro social interactions. It's just we...it's complicated, because you can't just have micro-social interactions unfortunately, but you need them. Margaret 23:44 Yeah. No, that that's really interesting to me, because yeah, so there's, there is a lot of value that is coming from these things, but then the overall effect is this like, like, for example, even like access to diversity, right? In a lot of ways, theoretically, the Internet gives you access to like everything. But then, instead, it's really designed to create echo chambers in the way that the algorithms and stuff feed people information. And echo chambers of thought is the opposite of diversity, even if the echo chamber of thought is like about diversity. Smokey 24:16 Yeah, I mean, it's set up again, almost as if it were to kind of naturally organically grow, we would probably have just as chaotic and and people would still just be as angry at the Internet, but it probably would develop more resilience in people. Because it wouldn't be stunted by this need to attract attention. The easiest way to do that is through outrage. Easiest way to do that is quickly and fast, so it takes care of your processing time. And relative anonymity is the coin of these kinds of things, you know, that's why bots and things like that, you know, they're not even humans, right? You know, they're just...so all these kinds of things stunt and deform, what could potentially be useful, not a silver bullet, and certainly not necessary to develop resiliency, strong resiliency. You don't need the internet to do that. And there are certain...using the internet, you know, there's going to be certain serious limitations because of the design, how it's designed. Margaret 25:42 Okay, well, so hear me out. If the internet really started coming in latter half of the 20th century, that kind of lines up to when cloaks went out of style.... Smokey 25:54 Absolutely, that's our big problem. And they haven't done any research on cloak and resiliency. Margaret 26:00 I feel that everyone who wears a cloak either has a sense of belonging, or a distinct lack of a sense of belonging. Probably start off with a lack of sense of belonging, but you end up with a sense of belonging So, okay, okay. Smokey 26:15 So I want to say that there's two things that people confuse and a very important. One, is how to prevent chronic effects from traumatic experiences. And then one is how to take care of, if you already have or you you develop a chronic effect of traumatic experiences. Nothing in the psychology literature, sociology literature, anthropology literature, obviously, keeps you from having traumatic experiences. Margaret 26:52 Right. Smokey 26:54 So one is how to prevent it from becoming chronic, and one is how to deal with chronic and they're not the same, they're quite, quite different. So you know, if you already have a chronic traumatic response of some sort, post traumatic stress syndrome, or any of the other related phenomena, you will approach that quite differently than building resilience, which doesn't protect you from having trauma, a traumatic experience. It just allows you to frame it, understand it, maybe if you're lucky, thrive and grow from it. But at worst, get you back on track in not having any chronic problems. Margaret 27:48 Okay, so it seems like there's three things, there's the holistic, building a stronger base of having a community, being more resilient in general. And then there's the like direct first aid to crisis and trauma, and then there's the long term care for the impacts of trauma. Okay, so if so, we've talked a bit about the holistic part of it, you want to talk about the the crisis, the thing to do in the immediate sense as it's happening or whatever? Smokey 28:15 For yourself or for somebody else? Margaret 28:18 Let's start with self. Smokey 28:20 So, self is go out and connect to your social network as much as you can, which is the opposite of what your mind and body is telling you. And that's why I think so much of the quote unquote, "self-care" movement is so wrong. You kind of retreat from your social network, things are too intense, I'm going to retreat from your social network. The research suggests that's the opposite of what you should be doing, you should connect. Now, if you find yourself in an unenviable situation where you don't have a social network, then you need to connect to professionals, because they, they can kind of fill in for that social Network. Therapists, social workers, peer groups, support groups, things like that they can kind of fill in for that. The problem is you don't have that sense of belonging. Well, with support groups, you might. You see this often in AA groups or other support groups. You don't really get that in therapy or or group therapy so much. But that is the first thing and so connect to your group. Obviously on the other side, if you're trying to help your community, your group, you need to actively engage that person who has been traumatized. Margaret 29:33 Yeah, okay. Smokey 29:35 And it's going to be hard. And you need to keep engaging them and engaging them in what? Not distractions: Let's go to a movie, get some ice cream, let's have a good time. And not going into the details of the traumatic experience so much as reconnecting them to the belonging, our friendship, if that. Our political movement, if that. Our religious movement, if that. Whatever that...whatever brought you two together. And that could be you being the community in this person, or could be you as Margaret in this person connecting on that, doubling down on that, and often I see people do things like, "Okay, let's do some self care, or let's, let's do the opposite of whatever the traumatic experience was," if it came from, say oppression, either vicarious or direct through political involvement let's, let's really connect on a non-political kind of way. Margaret 31:19 Ah I see! Smokey 31:21 And I'm saying, "No, you should double down on the politics," reminding them of right what you're doing. Not the trauma necessarily not like, "Oh, remember when you got beaten up, or your, your significant other got arrested or got killed by the police," but it's connecting to meaning, and bringing the community together. Showing the resiliency of the community will vicariously and contagiously affect the individual. And again, doesn't have to be political could be anything. Margaret 32:01 Yeah. Is that? How does that that feels a little bit like the sort of 'get right back on the horse kind of thing.' But then like, in terms of like, socially, rather than, because we 'get back on the horse,' might mean might imply, "Oh, you got beat up at a riot. So go out to the next riot." And that's what you're saying instead is so "Involve you in the fundraising drive for the people who are dealing with this including you," or like... Smokey 32:28 And allowing an expectation that the individual who's been traumatized, might be having a crisis of meaning. And allowing that conversation, to flow and helping that person reconnect to what they found meaningful to start with. So getting right back on the horse again, it's reminding them why they love horses. Margaret 33:02 Yeah. Okay, that makes sense. Okay, I have another question about the the crisis first aid thing, because there's something that, you know, something that you talked to me about a long time ago, when I was working on a lot of like reframing. I was working on coping with trauma. And so maybe this actually relates instead to long term care for trauma. And I, I thought of this as a crisis first aid kind of thing, is I'll use a like, low key example. When I was building my cabin, I'm slightly afraid of heights, not terribly, but slightly. And so I'm on a ladder in the middle of nowhere with no one around and I'm like climbing up the ladder, and I'm nailing in boards. And I found myself saying, "Oh, well, I only have three more boards. And then I'm done. I can get off the ladder. "And then I was like, "No, what I need to do is say, it's actually fine, I am fine. And I can do this," rather than like counting down until I can get off the ladder. And so this is like a way that I've been working on trying to build resiliency, you can apply this to lots of things like if I'm on an airplane, and I'm afraid of flying or something I can, instead of being like, "Five more hours and then we're there. Four more hours and then we're there," instead of being like, "It's actually totally chill that I'm on an airplane. This is fine." And basically like telling myself that to reframe that. Is this....Am I off base with this? Is this tie into this, there's just a different framework? Smokey 34:27 That is what the individual should be trying to do is connect the three different things, keeping it simple. One, is to the community which gives them nourishment. On a plane or on your roof, that's not going to happen. Margaret 34:44 Yeah. Smokey 34:45 Though, actually, to be honest. If you're nervous and you have...go back to your roof example, which I think is a pretty good one. Let's say that you had more than three boards. Let's say it was gonna take you a couple hours to do that. But it's something you're nervous about, connecting to somebody in your social network, whether you, you have your earphones on, and you're just talking to them before or during...after doesn't help. That does one way. Or the other is connecting to what you were doing, which is connecting to kind of reframing or your own internal resilience. I've done something similar like this before. This is not something that is going to need to throw me, it is what's called pocketing the anxiety. Margaret 35:45 Okay. Smokey 35:45 Where you're other-izing it, being like, it's coming from you too, right? being like, "Hey, you could fall. This plane could go down," right? That that's still you, you're generating that. You're not hearing that over to, and you're saying, "Okay, but I'm going to try, you know, give primacy to this other voice in my head. That is saying, "You've got this, it's all right, you've done things like this before."" So that's the second thing. And that's what you were doing. So you could connect to your community, you could connect to kind of a reserve of resiliency. And to do that is allow that one to be pocketed. But be like, "Hey, I want to hear from what this core thing has to say. I want to hear from what the positive person on the front row has to say." You're not arguing with that one. You're just listening. You're changing your, your, what you're attuned to. And then the third one is, if you can, you connect to the meaning. What is the meaning of building the house for you? Where are you going on your flight? And why is it important? Margaret 37:03 Yeah. Okay, Smokey 37:05 And that anxiety and the fact that you're doing it, you want to give again, the primacy to the importance, that "Yeah, I'm really nervous, I'm really freaked out about this, but this thing is so important, or so good for me, or so healthy for me to do this. This must mean it's going to be really important. And I'm connecting to why it's important and focusing on that. So those are the three things that the individual can do. The helping person or community is engagement. The second one is the same, reconnecting to the meaning. Why did you love horses in the first place? Okay, don't have to get back on the horse. But let's not forget horses are awesome. Margaret 37:58 Yeah. Smokey 37:58 And Horseback riding is awesome. Margaret 38:01 Yeah. Smokey 38:01 And you were really good at it before you got thrown. But you know, you don't have to do it now, but let's, let's just let's just share our love of horses for a moment and see how that makes you feel. And then the third one is that kind of drawing upon, instead of drawing upon the individual resilience, which you were doing, like, "Hey, I got this," or the plane, you know, you were, you're hearing from other people, you're drawing upon their individual resilience. "Smokey, tell me about the time you did this thing that was hard." And I tell ya, you're like, "Well, Smokey can fucking do that I can do it. You don't even think...it doesn't even work necessarily consciously. Margaret 38:50 Right. Smokey 38:51 So you could see that what you're doing individually, the helper or the community is doing complementary. Margaret 38:59 Yeah. Smokey 39:00 And now you can see why a lot of self care narrative, a lot of taking a break a lot of burnout narrative, all these things, at best aren't going to help you and at worst, in my opinion, are kind of counterproductive. Margaret 39:17 Well, and that's the, to go to the, you know, working on my roof thing I think about...because I've had some success with this. I've had some success where I....there's certain fears that I have, like, suppressed or something like I've stopped being as afraid of...the fear is no longer a deciding factor in my decision making, because of this kind of reframing this kind of like, yeah, pocketing like...And it's probably always useful to have the like, I don't want to reframe so completely that I just walk around on a roof all the time, without paying attention to what I'm doing, right?Because people do that and then they fall and the reason that there's a reason that roofing is one of the most dangerous jobs in America. So a, I don't know I yeah, I, I appreciate that, that you can do that. And then if it's a thing you're going to keep doing anyway, it becomes easier if you start handling it like, carefully, you know? Smokey 40:17 Well, you don't want to give it too much. So why do we? Why is it natural for us to take anxiety or fear and focus on it? It's somewhat evolutionary, right? It's a threat, right? It's supposed to draw your attention, right? It's supposed to draw your attention. And if you're not careful, it will draw your attention away from other things that are quieter that like that resiliency in the front row you need to call on, because they're not as flashy, right? So I don't think you have to worry about threat....You're right. You don't want to get to the point where you and that's why I say 'pocket it,' as opposed to 'deny it, suppress it, argue with it. demolish it.' I think it's good to have that little, "Beep, beep, beep there's a threat," and then being like, "Okay, but I want to continue to do this. Let's hear from resiliency in the front row. What? What do you have to tell me too?" You have to not...what happens is we go into the weeds of the threat. Oh, so what? "Oh, I fall off and I compound fracture, and I'm way out here in the woods, and no one's going to get me. My phone isn't charged." That's not what the original beep was. Original beep like, "You're high up on a ladder, seems unstable. This seems sketchy," right? Okay. Got that. And then resilience is, "Yeah, you've done lots of sketchy stuff. You've written in the back of a pickup truck. That's sketchy, so seatbelt there, nothing, you know, let me remind you that that you can overcome." And, but by going into the anxiety, going into the fear, you're forcing yourself to justify the thing. And then it becomes more and more elaborate, and it gets crazier and crazier very quickly. You know, all of sudden, you're bleeding out and you're cutting your leg off with a pen knife. It's like, "Wow, how did all this happen?" Margaret 42:38 Yeah, well, and that's actually something that comes up a lot in terms of people interacting with the show and about like preparedness in general. Because in my mind, the point of paying attention to how to deal with forest fire while I live in the woods, is not to then spend all of my time fantasizing and worrying about forest fire. But instead, to compare it to this ladder, if I get this "Beep, beep, the ladder is unstable." I climb down, I stabilize the ladder as best as I can. And then I climb back up and I do the thing. And then when I think about like, with fire, I'm like, "Okay, I have done the work to minimize the risk of fire. And so now I can stop thinking about it." Like, I can listen to the little beep, beep noise and do the thing. And now I can ignore the beep beep because just like literally, when you're backing up a truck and it goes beep, beep, you're like, yeah, no, I know, I'm backing up. Thanks. You know, like, Smokey 43:35 Yeah, it's good to know, it's good to know, you're not going forward. Margaret 43:39 Yeah, no. No, okay. That's interesting. And then the other thing that's really interesting about this, the thing that you're presenting, is it means that in some ways, work that we present as very individual in our society, even in radical society, is actually community based on this idea, like so conquering phobias is something that we help one another do, it seems like, Smokey 44:02 Absolutely. I mean, the best stuff on all this stuff is that people reverse engineering it to make people do dangerous, bad things. The military. Margaret 44:18 Yeah, they're probably pretty good at getting people to conquer phobias. Yep. Smokey 44:21 They have a great sense of belonging. They have a great sense of pulling in internal resilient, group resilient, connecting to meaning even when it's absolutely meaningless what you're doing. It's all the dark side of what we're talking about, but it's quite effective and it literally wins wars. Margaret 44:47 Yeah, that makes sense. Because you have this whole... Smokey 44:50 Literally it changes history. And so, the good news is, we can kind of reclaim that for what I think it was originally purposed to do, which is to protect us from the traumas that we had to go through in our evolutionary existence. So we couldn't afford to have a whole bunch of us chronically disabled. Meaning unable to function, you know, they've just taken it and, and bent it a little bit, and learned very deeply about it, how to how to use it for the things that really cause, you know, physical death and injury. And, and, you know, obviously, they're not perfect, you have a lot of trauma, but not, not as much as you would expect for what they do. And every year they get better and better. Margaret 45:51 Hooray. Smokey 45:53 We have to get on top of our game. Margaret 45:56 Yeah. Smokey 45:57 And get people not to do what they do. I'm not suggesting reading...well maybe reading military, but not...you can't use those tools to make people truly free and resilient. Margaret 46:17 Yeah. Smokey 46:18 In the healthy kind of way. Yeah. Margaret 46:22 Okay, so in our three things, there's the holistic, prepared resiliency thing, then there's the immediate, the bad thing is happening first aid. Should we talk about what to do when the thing has, when you have the like, the injury, the mental injury of the trauma? Smokey 46:42 Like with most injuries, it's rehab, right? Margaret 46:45 Yeah. No, no, you just keep doing the thing, and then hope it fixes itself. [laughs] Smokey 46:53 My approach to most medical oddities that happen as I get older, it's like, "It'll fix itself, this tooth will grow back, right? The pain will go away, right?" Yeah, just like physical rehab, it does require two important aspects for all physical, what we think of when someone says I have to go to rehab, physical rehab, not not alcohol rehab, or psych rehab, is that there's two things that are happening. One, is a understanding, a deep understanding of the injury, often not by the person, but by the physical therapist. Right? That if they know, okay, this is torn meniscus, or this is this and I, okay, so I understand the anatomy, I understand the surgery that happened. Okay. And then the second is, short term, not lifelong therapy, not lifelong this or that. Short term techniques to usually strengthen muscles and other joints and things around the injury. Okay. And that's what, what I would call good recovery after you already have the injury. It's not after you've had the traumatic experience, because traumatic experience doesn't necessarily cause a chronic injury, and we're trying to reduce the number of chronic injuries, but chronic injuries are going to happen. chronic injuries already exist today. A lot of the people we know are walking around with chronic injuries that are impacting their ability to do what they want to do and what in my opinion, we need them to do, because there's so much change that needs to happen. We need everybody as much as possible to be working at their ability. So wherever we can fix injury, we should. So so one is where do I get an understanding of how this injury impacts my life? And I think different cognitive psychology, I think CBT, DBT, these things are very, very good in general. Margaret 49:22 I know what those are, but can you explain. Smokey 49:22 Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. These all come out of cognitive psychology from the 50s. Our techniques, but most therapists use versions of this anyway. So just going to therapy, what it is doing initially, is trying to, like the physical therapist, tell you, "This is the injury you have. This is why it's causing you to limp, or why you have weakness in your arm and wrist. And what we're going to do is we're going to give you some techniques to build up, usually the muscles, or whatever else needs to be built up around it so that you will be able to get more use out of your hand." And that is what we need to do with people that have this chronic injury. So, one, is you need to find out how the injury is impacting. So, I'm drinking more, I'm getting angry more, or I'm having trouble making relationships, or I'm having, and there's a series of, you know, 50 year old techniques to really kind of get down and see, okay, this injury is causing these things, that's how it's impacting me, and I don't want to drink more, or I want to be able to sleep better, or I want to be able to focus, or I want to be able to have meaningful relationship with my partner or my children or whatever, whatever that is, right? And then there are techniques, and they're developing new techniques, all the time, there's like EMDR, which is an eye thing that I don't fully understand. There DBT, dialectical behavioral therapy, has a lot of techniques that you kind of practice in groups. As you know, we have mutual aid cell therapy, MAST, which is also a group where you're sharing techniques to build up these different things and resilience. So, community, and meaning, and all those...reframing all those kinds of things. So, but they shouldn't, despite the length of the injury, how long you've been injured, how long you've been limping, and how much it's affected other parts of your psychic body in a way. These are things that still should be able to be remediated relatively quickly. Smokey 49:31 That's exciting. Yeah. Smokey 50:10 But this is not a lifelong thing. Now, that doesn't mean, if you're traumatized as a child for example, it's sort of like if you've completely shattered your wrist bone, and they've put in pins and things like that, that wrist, may never have the flexibility, it did, the actual wrist bone, you know, the bones in the wrist. But by building muscles, and other things around it, you could then theoretically have full flexibility that you had before, right? But it's not the actual wrist bone, but that that injury is still there. You've built up...Sometimes it's called strength-based approach or model where you're building up other strengths, you have to relieve the impact that that injury, so like, a common thing with with trauma is trust. My trust is very damaged. My ability to trust others, or trust certain environments, or maybe trust myself, right, is completely damaged. So if, if my...and that may never fully heal, that's like my shattered wrist bone. So then, by building up, let's say, I don't trust myself, I did something, really fucked up myself, you know, psychologically, traumatically, but by building up trust in others, and then in the environment, or other things, that can mediate that damage or vice versa. Margaret 53:53 You mean vice versa, like if you? Smokey 53:59 Like, if my problem is a trust of others, or trust with strangers, or trust with friends, you know, I've been betrayed in a really traumatic way by my mother, or my father or uncle or something like that then, you know, building up my friendships to a really strong degree will reduce and eventually eliminate, hopefully erase the impact of that injury on the rest of my life. I'm not doomed to have dysfunctional relationships, lack of sleep, alcoholism or whatever are the symptoms of that traumatic event, that chronic traumatic event. Margaret 54:54 Okay, so my next question is, and it's sort of a leading question, you mentioned MAST earlier and I kind of want to ask, like, do we need specialists for all of this? Do we have people who both generalize and specialize in this kind of thing? Are there ways that, you know, we as a community can, like, get better at most of this stuff while then some of it like, you know, obviously people specialize in and this remains useful? Like... Smokey 55:22 You need. I wouldn't say...You need, you do need specialists, not for their knowledge, per se so much as they're there for people that the injury has gone on so long that the resiliency, all those other things, they don't have a social network, they haven't had time, because the damage happened so early to build up those reserves, that that person in the front row, the front row, the seats are empty. That is, it's really great we live...Now, in other cultures, the specialists were probably shamans, religious people, mentors, things like that, that said, "Okay, my role is to," all therapy is self therapy. That was Carl Rogers, he was quite correct about that. The specialist you're talking about are the kind of stand in for people who don't have people to do that. I would argue all real therapy is probably community therapy. It's relational. So if you have friends, if you have community, if you have a place, or places you find belonging, then theoretically, no, I don't think you need....I think those groups, and I think most specialists would agree to actually, those groups, if they're doing this can actually do a much better job for that individual. They know that individual and there's a natural affinity. And there there are other non specifically therapeutic benefits for engaging in re engaging in these things that have nothing to do with the injury that are just healthy, and good to you. So sort of like taking Ensure, Ensure will keep you alive when you're you've had some surgery, you've had some really bad injury, or if you need saline solution, right? But we're not suggesting people walk around with saline bags. There are better ways to get that, more natural ways to get that. I'm not talking alternative, psychiatric or, you know, take herbs instead of psychiatric medication. But there are better ways to do that. And I think, but I'm glad we have saline. Margaret 58:08 Yeah, Smokey 58:08 I think it saves a lot of people's lives. But, we would never give up the other ways to get nutrients because of other benefits to it. You know, sharing a meal with people is also a really good thing. Margaret 58:21 And then even like from a, you know, the advantages of community, etc. I'm guessing it's not something that's like magically imbued in community. It's like can be something that communities need to actually learn these skills and develop like, I mean, there's a reason that well, you know, I guess I'm reasonably open about this. I used to have like fairly paralyzing panic attacks, and then it started generalizing. And then, you know, a very good cognitive behavioral therapist gave me the tools with which to start addressing that. And that wasn't something I was getting from....I didn't get it from my community in the end, but I got it from a specific person in the community, rather than like, everyone already knows this or something. Smokey 59:03 Well, I think what we're doing right here is, is....I mean, people don't know. So they read....People were trying to help you from your community. Undoubtedly, with the right. intentions, and the right motives, but without the information on what actually works. Margaret 59:27 Yep. Smokey 59:28 And that's all that was happening there. Margaret 59:30 Yeah, totally. Smokey 59:31 So, it's really, you know, as cliche as it sound. It's really about just giving people some basic tools that we already had at one time. Margaret 59:44 Yeah. Smokey 59:45 Forgot, became specialized. So you know, I'm throwing around CBT, DBT, EMDR. None of that people can keep in their head. They will....The audience listening today are not going to remember all those things. And nor do they have to. But they have to know that, you know, reconnecting to the horse, but not telling people to get back on the horse, that kind of tough love kind of thing isn't going to work, but neither is the self care, take a bubble bath... Margaret 1:00:19 Never see a horse again, run from a horse. Smokey 1:00:21 Never see a horse, again, we're not even going to talk about horses, let's go do something else, isn't going to work either. And I think once we...you know, it's not brain science...Though it is. [laughs] It is pretty, you know, these are, and you look at how religions do this, you know, you look at how the military does this, you look at how like, fascists do this, you know, all sorts of groups, communities can do this fairly effectively. And it doesn't cost money. It's not expensive. You don't have to be highly educated or read all the science to be able to do that. And people naturally try, but I think a lot of the self help kind of gets in the way. And some people think they know. "Okay, well, this is what needs to happen, because I saw on Oprah." That kind of thing. " Margaret 1:01:26 Yeah, Well, I mean, actually, that's one of the main takeaways that's coming from me is I've been, I've been thinking a lot about my own mental health first aid on a fairly individual basis, right? You know, even though it was community, that helped me find the means by which to pull myself out of a very bad mental space in that I was in for a lot of years. But I still, in the end was kind of viewing it as, like, "Ah, someone else gave me the tools. And now it's on me." It's like this individual responsibility to take care of myself. And, and so that's like, one of the things that I'm taking as a takeaway from this is learning to be inter-reliant. Smokey 1:02:06 There isn't enough research on it, again, because of our individualistic nature, and probably because of variables. But there's certainly tons of anecdotal evidence, and having done this for a long time talking to people and how the place I work is particularly set up, helping others is a really great way to help yourself. Margaret 1:02:30 Yeah. Smokey 1:02:31 it really works. It's very, I mean, obviously, in the Greeks, you know, you have the 'wounded healer,' kind of concept. Many indigenous traditions have said this much better than the Western. And I believe they have...and they needed to, but they had a much better kind of understanding of these things that we're we're talking about. You know, it. So, where people can...and I've heard this podcast, your podcast too, talking about this ability to be, you know, have self efficacy. But it's more than self efficacy. It's really helping others. Margaret 1:03:22 Yeah. Smokey 1:03:23 And that, that is really powerful. And there's not enough research on that. And I think that's why support groups, I think that's why, you know, AA, despite all its problems, has spread all over the world and has been around for, you know, 75 years, and is not going to go away anytime soon. Despite some obvious problems, is there's that there's that... they hit upon that they they re discovered something that we always kind of knew. Margaret 1:03:59 Yeah. Okay, well, we're coming out of time. We're running out of time. Are there any last thoughts, things that I should have asked you? I mean, there's a ton we can talk about this, and I'll probably try and have you on to talk about more specifics in the near future. But, is there anything anything I'm missing? Smokey 1:04:15 No, I think I think just re emphasizing the end piece that you know, for people that have resources, communities, meaning, social network, you know, that is worth investing your time and your energy into because that's going to build your...if you want to get psychologically strong, that is the easiest and the best investment, Put down the self help book. Call your friend. You know, don't search Google for the symptoms of this, that, or the other thing. Connect to what's important to you. And then lastly, try to help others or help the world in some way. And those are going to be profound and effective ways to build long lasting resilience as an individual. As a community, we should design our communities around that. Margaret 1:05:35 Yeah. All right. Well, that seems like a good thing to end on. Do you have anything that you want to plug like, I don't know books about mutual aid self therapy or anything like that? Smokey 1:05:46 I want to plug community. That's all I want to plug. Margaret 1:05:50 Cool. All right. Well, it's nice talking to you, and I'll talk to you soon. Smokey 1:05:54 Yep. Margaret 1:06:00 Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed this podcast, please tell people about it. Actually, I mean, honestly, if you enjoyed this episode, in particular, like think about it, and think about reaching out to people, and who needs to be reached out to and who you need to reach out to, and how to build stronger communities. But if you want to support this podcast, you can tell people about it. And you can tell the internet about it. And you can tell the algorithms about it. But, you can also tell people about it in person. And you can also support it by supporting the, by supporting Strangers In A Tangled Wilderness, which is the people who produce this podcast. It's an anarchist publishing collective that I'm part of, and you can support it on Patreon at patreon.com/strangersinatangledwilderness. And if you support at pretty much any level, you get access to some stuff, and if you support a $10 you'll get a zine in the mail. And if you support at $20, you'll get your name read at the end of episodes. Like for example, Hoss the dog, and Micahiah, and Chris, and Sam, and Kirk, Eleanor, Jennifer, Staro, Cat J, Chelsea, Dana, David, Nicole, Mikki, Paige, SJ, Shawn, Hunter, Theo, Boise Mutual Aid, Milica, and paparouna. And that's all, and we will talk to you soon, and I don't know, I hope you all are doing as well as you can. This podcast is powered by Pinecast. Try Pinecast for free, forever, no credit card required. If you decide to upgrade, use coupon code r-69f62d for 40% off for 4 months, and support Live Like the World is Dying.

In this week's episode of The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast, Kate is joined by Dr Judith Mohring, an internationally respected consultant organisational psychiatrist, coach, therapist and trainer with over 25 years' experience working across clinical, leadership and organisational settings.Judith brings a deeply compassionate and clinically grounded perspective to understanding ADHD in women, particularly through the lens of hormones, emotional regulation, stress and life stages.Drawing on her work training clinicians, leaders and organisations, and her passion for psychoeducation, this conversation gently challenges the idea that ADHD is static or one-size-fits-all.My new book, The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit, is now available, grab your copy here!Key Takeaways:What it really means for neurodivergence to be diverseThe role hormonal changes (including perimenopause, PMDD and postmenopause depression) play in emotional overwhelm for womenThe impact of falling progesterone during perimenopause on ADHD symptoms, anxiety and emotional regulationWhy emotional regulation can feel more difficult during periods of stress, ageing or major life transitionsThe value of ADHD psychoeducation and neurodiversity education in helping women understand their brains and advocate for mental health supportHow greater understanding of neurobiology can reshape the way we approach self-careThe practical role of DBT for ADHD, including mindfulness and emotion regulation tools, in everyday lifeHow building an ecosystem of ADHD lifestyle tools (including mindfulness, sleep, movement and community) can support long-term wellbeingWhy raising ADHD awareness and education is essential for compassionate, effective careThis is a validating and empowering episode that invites you to see your ADHD not as something to fix, but as something to understand — with flexibility, curiosity, and kindness.Timestamps: 10:33: Empowering Women with ADHD: Advocacy and Support14:40: Understanding ADHD and Emotional Regulation23:08: The Ecosystem of Neurodiversity28:03: Transitioning from Medication to Holistic Wellbeing35:44: The Power of Journaling and Externalising ThoughtsJoin the More Yourself Community - the doors are now open!More Yourself is a compassionate space for late-diagnosed ADHD women...

You Recovered From Your Eating Disorder, So Why Are You Still Anxious?This is a solo episode that hits different.I'm addressing something I'm hearing from clients constantly: "I've stopped restricting. I'm eating freely. I haven't binged or purged in months. I'm doing all the work, Victoria, but I'm still having panic attacks. I'm still depressed. Sometimes I'm more anxious now than when I had the eating disorder. Have I done something wrong?"The answer is no. You've actually uncovered what was there all along.This episode is for you if:• You're recovered (or nearly recovered) but still struggling with anxiety, depression, panic, or shutdown• You feel like recovery was supposed to fix everything, but you're still a mess• You're wondering if you failed at recovery or if something's wrong with you• The eating disorder was actually numbing what's underneath• You're grieving the loss of your coping mechanism• You want to know what the fuck to do about itIn this episode, we cover:✨ Why recovery can actually make anxiety and depression feel worse✨ The eating disorder as a coping mechanism — what it was really managing✨ The window of tolerance and nervous system dysregulation explained✨ Why your nervous system is swinging between panic and shutdown✨ Hyper arousal vs hypo arousal — and which bank you're hitting✨ How trauma and childhood overwhelm shaped your window of tolerance✨ Why the eating disorder communicated what you couldn't say✨ You are NOT a victim to your nervous system — you can manage it✨ Up-regulation tools for when you're flat, numb, and depressed✨ Down-regulation tools for when you're panicking, anxious, and overwhelmed✨ The STOP skill from DBT — interrupt the automatic response✨ Natural reframes to stop the shame spiral✨ How to widen your window of tolerance intentionally and slowly✨ It's not about avoiding the banks — it's about your relationship to them✨ Practicing at your edge consistently until it expands✨ Using fear foods as nervous system expansion work✨ Why this is the real recovery work nobody talks aboutPowerful quotes from the episode:

Endorsed by the world's most respected experts in psychology, spirituality, wellness, and dating, Kailen Rosenberg is redefining what it means to create and sustain, love in the modern world. Since 1994, Kailen has been helping individuals and couples heal from the inside out. A certified Master Life, Love, and Relationship Coach with specialized training in trauma, love addiction, DBT, and spiritual psychology, she's guided thousands toward emotional health, authentic connection, and purpose-driven lives. Kailen is the author of Real Love, Right Now (Simon & Schuster), and the founder of The Love Architects®, the world's first holistic love design and love life management firm for elite and successful singles.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Marsha Linehan finds the core principles of DBT in a Buddhist monastery, challenges the psychoanalytic establishment, and returns to the hospital where her journey started.CME: Take the CME Post-Test for this EpisodePublished On: 01/12/2026Duration: 16 minutes, 50 secondsChris Aiken, MD and Kellie Newsome, PMHNP have disclosed no relevant financial or other interests in any commercial companies pertaining to this educational activity.

What does a Wyoming girl do every time she visits the family farm?Beth Hlabse joins us for this edition of Storytellers and a glimpse of the grandeur, quiet, and beauty of her childhood home.Send us a text. We can't respond directly, but we're excited to hear what's on your mind!Click here to register for the DBT group from Jan. 20 - March 24, 2026 (MN & WI residents only)Support the showThank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Follow us on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

Kate and Michelle answer listener questions about how to regulate emotions instead of suppressing them, managing anxiety about work, what to do when a provider violates your trust, and the impact chronic pain can have on relationships.Support the showWant to get 15% off of ALL Guilford Press titles? Use this link (code is DBTME at checkout): https://www.guilford.com/dbtmeIf you want to sign up for Kate's free DBT peer support group, you can sign up here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dbt-discussion-group-tickets-518237601617Check out our Etsy shop for DBT-inspired items and our journaling workbook (only $7.50!): https://www.etsy.com/shop/dbtandmeOur book, "DBT for Everyone" is available! Order your copy on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Dbt-Everyone-Pitfalls-Possibilities-Better/dp/1839975881/Consider providing ongoing support to the podcast by becoming a patron at https://www.patreon.com/dbtandmeYou can join our facebook community here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dbtandmepodcastCheck out our other podcast, The Couch and The Chair, on Apple Podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-couch-and-the-chair/id1554159244) or on Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/3MZ8aZPoRKxGmLtFcR4S4O)If you need support/have questions, email us at dbtandmepodcast@gmail.com

In this clinically grounded episode of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh is joined by Kina Wolfenstein, LCSW, therapist, educator, and certified trainer in Coherence Therapy, for a deep dive into a lesser-known but incredibly powerful trauma modality.Together, they explore what coherence therapy is, how it differs from more familiar approaches like EMDR, CBT, and IFS, and why it can be especially effective for birth trauma, medical trauma, and complex attachment wounds.Kina explains how coherence therapy views symptoms not as pathology, but as coherent responses rooted in emotional learnings and how true healing happens through memory reconsolidation, an innate brain process that allows those learnings to be updated at the root.This episode speaks directly to survivors who say, “I understand why I feel this way, but nothing changes,” and to clinicians looking for more precise, bottom-up tools for trauma healing.In this episode, we discuss:✨ What coherence therapy is and why so few people have heard of it

Comments or feedback? Send us a text! In this episode, we are joined by Dr. Jesse Finkelstein to discuss Real Skills for Real Life, co-authored with Dr. Shireen Rizvi. The book offers a practical, accessible introduction to Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), translating a well-established clinical framework into skills that can be applied in everyday life.Rather than focusing on diagnoses, Real Skills for Real Life centers on universal human experiences—stress, emotional overwhelm, relationship challenges, and loss—and presents DBT as a compassionate, skills-based approach to navigating them. The conversation broadly explores how DBT balances acceptance and change, why a skills-focused lens can reduce shame, and how evidence-based psychological tools can be used outside the therapy room.This episode is relevant for clinicians, students, and general listeners interested in grounded, practical approaches to emotion regulation, relationships, and resilience in an increasingly complex world.Jesse Finkelstein, PsyDDr. Jesse Finkelstein is a licensed clinical psychologist and DBT trainer based in New York City. He earned his PsyD from Rutgers University, where he received extensive training in DBT under the mentorship of Dr. Rizvi. He has since built a clinical practice specializing in emotion regulation, anxiety, and interpersonal effectiveness.Dr. Finkelstein is known for his engaging teaching style and his ability to translate complex psychological concepts into clear, practical guidance for both clinicians and the general public. In addition to his clinical work, he provides DBT training and consultation and is committed to making evidence-based skills approachable, flexible, and relevant to everyday life.Shireen L. Rizvi, PhD, ABPPDr. Shireen Rizvi is a licensed clinical psychologist, Professor of Clinical Psychology at Rutgers University, and an internationally recognized expert in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. She trained under Dr. Marsha Linehan at the University of Washington and later founded the Rutgers DBT Clinic, where she has played a central role in training clinicians and advancing the dissemination of evidence-based care.Dr. Rizvi's research and clinical work focus on emotion regulation, trauma, and the application of DBT across diverse clinical and real-world contexts. She is board certified in Behavioral and Cognitive Psychology and is the author of numerous peer-reviewed publications and books, including Chain Analysis in Dialectical Behavior Therapy. She is widely respected for bridging rigorous clinical science with compassionate, accessible teaching.Website: https://www.shireenrizvi.comRutgers University Profile / Rutgers DBT Clinic: https://psych.rutgers.edu/academics/clinical-psychology/clinical-faculty/shireen-l-rizviTwitter (X): https://twitter.com/ShireenRizviLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shireen-rizvi-phd/Jesse Finkelstein, PsyDWebsite: https://www.drfinkelstein.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjessefinkelstein/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessefinkelstein/

"But a Samaritan traveler who came upon him was moved with compassion at the sight."~ Luke 10:33How can I better support my loved one who suffers with mental illness?What is the Church's place in caring for those with mental illnesses?Is it possible to choose my responses instead of just reacting?In episode 90, Kenna & Pat welcome Beth Hlabse, program director of the Fiat Program on Faith and Mental Health at the University of Notre Dame, for an honest conversation about loving and supporting people with mental illness. Drawing on personal stories, professional expertise, and Catholic teaching, the episode explores the complexities of mental health through the lens of accompaniment, compassion, and community. Beth shares practical wisdom for churches and families, highlighting the importance of seeing the gifts and goodness of every person beyond their diagnosis, setting healthy boundaries, and moving from reactive to responsive support. Listeners are invited to reflect on their own biases and discomfort, discovering pathways to deeper empathy, hope, and belonging—especially in faith communities. Whether you're walking this journey yourself or supporting someone you love, this episode offers encouragement and tangible steps toward stronger, more healing connections.Beth Hlabse is the program director for the Fiat Program on Faith and Mental Health at the McGrath Institute for Church Life at the University of Notre Dame. As a mental health counselor, Beth has provided therapeutic care for adolescents and adults with histories of trauma and adverse child experiences. Beth graduated from the University of Notre Dame in 2011 and she obtained her masters in clinical mental health counseling from Divine Mercy University. Beth and her husband Pete live in South Bend, Indiana.Episode 90 Show NotesReflection QuestionsChapters:0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards18:40: Acknowledging my past to inform my future29:00: Loving others in the midst of mental illness42:07: Isolation: a cause and effect of mental illness54:03: Healthy boundaries in relationship with others with mental illness59:01: Challenge By ChoiceSend us a text. We can't respond directly, but we're excited to hear what's on your mind!Click here to register for the DBT group from Jan. 20 - March 24, 2026 (MN & WI residents only)Support the showThank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Follow us on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

What is eldest daughter syndrome? While it's not a clinical term it can be defined as an informal, non-clinical term used to describe a common pattern of emotional and behavioral experiences often reported by oldest daughters in families. It is not a medical or DSM diagnosis, but a social and psychological concept. It typically refers to the experience of taking on excessive responsibility, caregiving, or emotional labor at a young age, sometimes at the expense of one's own needs. Kayleigh is here to talk about her experience having 6 siblings and often being the caretaker to the oldest three that she grew up with. Thank you Kayleigh for joining us on the pod! Send us a text message to be anonymously read and responded to! Support the showYou can find Sara on Instagram @borderlinefromhell. You can also find the podcast on IG @boldbeautifulborderline Corey Evans is the artist for the music featured. He can be found HERE Talon Abbott created the cover art. He. can be found HERE Leave us a voicemail about your thoughts or questions on the show at boldbeautifulborderline.comIf you like the show we would love if you could rate, subscribe and support us on Patreon. Patreon info here: https://www.patreon.com/boldbeautifulborderline?fan_landing=true Purchase Sara's Exploring Your Borderline Strengths Journal at https://www.amazon.com/Exploring-Your-Borderline-Strengths-Amundson/dp/B0C522Y7QT/ref=sr_1_1?crid=IGQBWJRE3CFX&keywords=exploring+your+borderline+strengths&qid=1685383771&sprefix=exploring+your+bor%2Caps%2C164&sr=8-1 For mental health supports: National Suicide Pr...

As we step into the new year with new goals and intentions, consider the day by day choices, as well as practicing DBT skills.

Read the full transcript here. How can we distinguish “real CBT” from supportive talk - does it include homework, clear goals, or a manualized plan? When therapy “doesn't work,” is it the modality, the match, or weak training? Are common factors enough once symptoms disrupt daily life? Why does fragmented care push patients to choose meds or therapy by luck of first contact? When are meds a useful boost versus a detour from solving life problems? What's distinct about DBT—skills, validation, and balancing change with acceptance? How does radical acceptance cut suffering without excusing harm? Which skills travel across diagnoses? How do we prevent therapist burnout and drift from the model? If we want durable gains, should we favor therapies that teach skills we keep after treatment ends? Shireen Rizvi is a licensed clinical psychologist, board certified in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). She obtained her BA from Wesleyan University and her MS and PhD from the University of Washington. Links: Shireen's Videos Shireen's Books Staff Spencer Greenberg — Host + Director Ryan Kessler — Producer + Technical Lead WeAmplify — Transcriptionists Igor Scaldini — Marketing Consultant Music Broke for Free Josh Woodward Lee Rosevere Quiet Music for Tiny Robots wowamusic zapsplat.com Affiliates Clearer Thinking GuidedTrack Mind Ease Positly UpLift [Read more]

Kate and Michelle answer listener questions about what to do when you feel like you're at your breaking point, helping teens understand opposite action, managing obsessive thinking, feeling like no one cares, telling others no, resisting googling medical symptoms, disagreeing on values with a romantic partner, and practicing non-judgmentalness. Support the showWant to get 15% off of ALL Guildford Press titles? Use this link (code is DBTME at checkout): https://www.guilford.com/dbtmeIf you want to sign up for Kate's free DBT peer support group, you can sign up here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dbt-discussion-group-tickets-518237601617Check out our Etsy shop for DBT-inspired items and our journaling workbook (only $7.50!): https://www.etsy.com/shop/dbtandmeOur book, "DBT for Everyone" is available! Order your copy on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/Dbt-Everyone-Pitfalls-Possibilities-Better/dp/1839975881/Consider providing ongoing support to the podcast by becoming a patron at https://www.patreon.com/dbtandmeYou can join our facebook community here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dbtandmepodcastCheck out our other podcast, The Couch and The Chair, on Apple Podcasts (https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-couch-and-the-chair/id1554159244) or on Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/3MZ8aZPoRKxGmLtFcR4S4O)If you need support/have questions, email us at dbtandmepodcast@gmail.com

From investing through the modern data stack era (DBT, Fivetran, and the analytics explosion) to now investing at the frontier of AI infrastructure and applications at Amplify Partners, Sarah Catanzaro has spent years at the intersection of data, compute, and intelligence—watching categories emerge, merge, and occasionally disappoint. We caught up with Sarah live at NeurIPS 2025 to dig into the state of AI startups heading into 2026: why $100M+ seed rounds with no near-term roadmap are now the norm (and why that terrifies her), what the DBT-Fivetran merger really signals about the modern data stack (spoiler: it's not dead, just ready for IPO), how frontier labs are using DBT and Fivetran to manage training data and agent analytics at scale, why data catalogs failed as standalone products but might succeed as metadata services for agents, the consumerization of AI and why personalization (memory, continual learning, K-factor) is the 2026 unlock for retention and growth, why she thinks RL environments are a fad and real-world logs beat synthetic clones every time, and her thesis for the most exciting AI startups: companies that marry hard research problems (RAG, rule-following, continual learning) with killer applications that were simply impossible before. We discuss: The DBT-Fivetran merger: not the death of the modern data stack, but a path to IPO scale (targeting $600M+ combined revenue) and a signal that both companies were already winning their categories How frontier labs use data infrastructure: DBT and Fivetran for training data curation, agent analytics, and managing increasingly complex interactions—plus the rise of transactional databases (RocksDB) and efficient data loading (Vortex) for GPU-bound workloads Why data catalogs failed: built for humans when they should have been built for machines, focused on discoverability when the real opportunity was governance, and ultimately subsumed as features inside Snowflake, DBT, and Fivetran The $100M+ seed phenomenon: raising massive rounds at billion-dollar valuations with no 6-month roadmap, seven-day decision windows, and founders optimizing for signal ("we're a unicorn") over partnership or dilution discipline Why world models are overhyped but underspecified: three competing definitions, unclear generalization across use cases (video games ≠ robotics ≠ autonomous driving), and a research problem masquerading as a product category The 2026 theme: consumerization of AI via personalization—memory management, continual learning, and solving retention/churn by making products learn skills, preferences, and adapt as the world changes (not just storing facts in cursor rules) Why RL environments are a fad: labs are paying 7–8 figures for synthetic clones when real-world logs, traces, and user activity (à la Cursor) are richer, cheaper, and more generalizable Sarah's investment thesis: research-driven applications that solve hard technical problems (RAG for Harvey, rule-following for Sierra, continual learning for the next killer app) and unlock experiences that were impossible before Infrastructure bets: memory, continual learning, stateful inference, and the systems challenges of loading/unloading personalized weights at scale Why K-factor and growth fundamentals matter again: AI felt magical in 2023–2024, but as the magic fades, retention and virality are back—and most AI founders have never heard of K-factor — Sarah Catanzaro X: https://x.com/sarahcat21 Amplify Partners: https://amplifypartners.com/ Where to find Latent Space X: https://x.com/latentspacepod Substack: https://www.latent.space/ Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Sarah Catanzaro's Journey from Data to AI 00:01:02 The DBT-Fivetran Merger: Not the End of the Modern Data Stack 00:05:26 Data Catalogs and What Went Wrong 00:08:16 Data Infrastructure at AI Labs: Surprising Insights 00:10:13 The Crazy Funding Environment of 2024-2025 00:17:18 World Models: Hype, Confusion, and Market Potential 00:18:59 Memory Management and Continual Learning: The Next Frontier 00:23:27 Agent Environments: Just a Fad? 00:25:48 The Perfect AI Startup: Research Meets Application 00:28:02 Closing Thoughts and Where to Find Sarah

When do you know that you're meant to marry someone? How much do you ever really know?? Mike & Alicia Hernon of the Messy Family Project share the story of their friendship, dating, and discernment with loads of wisdom for anyone at any stage of their vocation journey.Send us a text. We can't respond directly, but we're excited to hear what's on your mind!Click here to register for the DBT group from Jan. 20 - March 24, 2026 (MN & WI residents only)Support the showThank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Follow us on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

What changes when an eating disorder has been part of someone's life for 10, 20, 30, even 40+ years? In this conversation, I'm joined again by my friend and longtime collaborator Jaren Soloff, RD, IBCLC, the founder of Whole Women Nutrition. Together, we talk about why nutrition work looks different in long-term eating disorders, and why the starting point is almost always the same: safety. Jaren shares how decades of reinforcement can make symptoms look “functional” on the surface, while the eating disorder quietly shapes identity, routines, and self-worth. We explore the common pattern of minimizing, the fear that can spike when restriction loosens, and the tender reality that for many people, the eating disorder has served as protection, especially in the context of criticism, attachment wounds, body-based judgment, and the impossible standards placed on women across the lifespan. We also get practical. Jaren walks through what it can look like to make food feel safer through small, doable steps, including DBT-informed tools, sensory supports, and intentionally planned “after-meal” structure that helps the nervous system ride out discomfort without snapping back to restriction. If breakfast feels impossible, or discomfort after eating feels like a dealbreaker, this episode offers compassionate, concrete ways to build tolerance and trust, slowly and steadily. Finally, we talk about the midlife reality so many people face: body changes through perimenopause and menopause, and the way those changes can collide with long-standing eating disorder beliefs. Jaren explains why metabolism may shift with long-term restriction and aging, how loss of lean muscle mass can affect energy needs and health, and why increased fat storage in midlife can be an adaptive, protective process for bone health. We also name the risks of GLP-1 medications for people with eating disorders, including concerns about appetite suppression and the potential for additional lean muscle loss, especially for women in perimenopause and menopause. If you have felt “broken” because your body doesn't respond the way it once did, or if you've carried an eating disorder for decades and wonder whether change is still possible, this conversation offers a grounded, compassionate path forward. You deserve care that moves at your pace, and support that treats safety as the foundation, not an afterthought. In this episode, we cover We discuss why long-term eating disorders require a different nutrition framework, how safety often sits at the center of recovery work, and why minimizing can keep patterns in place even when someone appears to be “functioning.” We talk about learning to tolerate discomfort after eating, building self-soothing skills, and using DBT-informed, sensory-based strategies to create new neural pathways. We explore perimenopause and menopause, including changes in estrogen, lean muscle mass, metabolism, and body fat distribution, and we name how ageism and sexism shape body fear in midlife. We also discuss GLP-1 medications and why they can be especially risky in the context of eating disorders. About Jaren Soloff, RD, IBCLC Jaren Soloff is a registered dietitian and international board-certified lactation consultant. She is the founder of Whole Women Nutrition, where she provides nutrition counseling and lactation support for adolescent girls and adult women, and supports families in raising competent, intuitive eaters. Jaren brings both professional experience and the wisdom of her own recovery journey to her work, with a steady emphasis on compassion, collaboration, and safety. Related Episodes Orthorexia, Quasi-Recovery, & Lifelong Eating Disorder Struggles with Dr. Lara Zibarras @drlarazib on Apple & Spotify. Navigating a Long-Term Eating Disorder on Apple & Spotify. Why Eating Disorder Recovery Feels Unsafe: Facing Ambivalence in Long-Term Struggles on Apple & Spotify. Pregnancy, Postpartum, and Eating Disorder Recovery With Jaren Soloff, RD on Apple and Spotify. Connect with Jaren Website: WholeWomenNutrition.com Instagram: @wholewomennutrition

This episode breaks down the major misconceptions about ADHD treatment and clarifies what decades of research, major clinical guidelines, and leading experts actually recommend. Ryan and Mike explain why weekly talk therapy is not an evidence-based treatment for ADHD, why parent training and environmental structure are consistently shown to improve outcomes, and how parents can make informed decisions without getting pulled into common myths.Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube{{chapters}}[00:00:00] Start[00:02:21] What clinical guidelines actually recommend[00:05:27] Dr. Barkley's research on effective ADHD treatments[00:09:11] Evidence on CBT, DBT, and play therapy[00:19:21] Why office-based therapy doesn't translate to real-world behavior[00:22:29] Rumination and how talk-heavy approaches can backfire[00:31:19] Treatments with the strongest evidence (medication, parent training)⁠⁠⁠Citations:1. AAP Guideline (Parent Training + Medication as First-Line)Wolraich, M. L., et al. (2019). Clinical practice guideline for ADHD in children and adolescents. Pediatrics, 144(4), e20192528.2. AACAP Treatment Parameter (Medication + Behavioral)Pliszka, S. R., & AACAP Work Group. (2007). Practice parameter for ADHD. JAACAP, 46(7), 894–921.3. Barkley: ADHD as Performance DisorderBarkley, R. A. (2012). Executive functions. Guilford Press.Barkley, R. A. (2015). ADHD: Handbook for diagnosis and treatment (4th ed.). Guilford Press.4. CBT Evidence (Adolescents/Adults, Not Young Children)Safren, S. A., et al. (2010). CBT vs relaxation for adults with ADHD. JAMA, 304(8), 875–880.Solanto, M. V. (2011). CBT for adult ADHD. Guilford Press.Langberg, J. M., et al. (2008). Organization skills intervention for adolescents. JCCP, 76(6), 967–982.5. DBT-Informed (Pilot Trials, Emotion Dysregulation)Murray, D. W., et al. (2022). DBT skills group for adolescents with ADHD. J Attention Disorders, 26(11), 1421–1430.6. Play Therapy (Insufficient Evidence)Hassan, R. A., & Shaker, N. S. (2014). CBPT for ADHD symptoms. Int J Psychology & Behavioral Sciences, 4(6), 221–229.7. EF Skills: Experience-Based, Not Language-BasedBarkley, R. A. (2012). Executive functions. Guilford Press.8. Rumination and ADHDOstojic, D., et al. (2021). Mind wandering and rumination in youth with ADHD. J Abnormal Child Psychology, 49, 1203–1216.Seymour, K. E., et al. (2014). Emotion regulation mediates ADHD-depression relationship. J Abnormal Child Psychology, 42, 611–621.9. Time Blindness/Temporal ProcessingToplak, M. E., & Tannock, R. (2005). Time perception deficits in ADHD. J Abnormal Child Psychology, 33(5), 639–654.Barkley, R. A., et al. (2008). ADHD in adults: What the science says. Guilford Press.10. Parent Behavior Training (Evidence-Based)Chronis, A. M., et al. (2006). Evidence-based treatments for children with ADHD. Clinical Psychology Review, 26(4), 486–502.Evans, S. W., et al. (2014). Evidence-based treatments for ADHD. JCCAP, 43(4), 527–551.11. Medication as First-LineFaraone, S. V., et al. (2021). Stimulant effectiveness and safety. World Psychiatry, 20(3), 314–329.Swanson, J. M., et al. (2017). MTA study long-term outcomes. JAACAP, 56(3), 228–240.

“Where there is no vision, the people perish."~ Proverbs 29:18Why do my spouse and I fight over such trivial things?How can we be more connected in our marriage?How do we create a vision of hope for our family?In episode 89 of This Whole Life, hosts Kenna & Pat Millea welcome Mike & Alicia Hernon, founders of the Messy Family Project. Together, they dive deep into the importance of building a shared vision for marriage and family, exploring the transformative power of intentionality in daily life. The Hernons share candid stories from parenting ten children and offer insights into their Family Board Meeting — a practical tool for couples to step back from the daily grind and realign on what truly matters. From handling sibling conflict to fostering lifelong bonds within the family, the conversation balances vulnerability, laughter, and actionable wisdom. Listeners will learn how vision shapes family culture, hear guidance for spouses who bristle against setting a family vision, and find inspiration to move beyond survival mode toward thriving family life. Tune in for heartfelt advice, hope, and encouragement from two couples passionate about faith and family.Mike & Alicia Hernon are co-founders of the Messy Family Project, a ministry dedicated to empowering moms and dads to embrace their sacred calling. Before launching the ministry, Mike was Vice President of Advancement at Franciscan University and host of Franciscan University Presents on EWTN. He holds both a Bachelor's degree in Theology and a Master's in Business Administration. Alicia has a degree in Education and is the founder of Mary Seat of Wisdom Classical Community.Parents of ten children and grandparents to eight, the Hernons have made their home in Steubenville, OH for the past 30 years.Episode 89 Show NotesChapters:0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards12:42: Setting a vision for your family23:31: Hopes for the future to impact the present32:26: The Family Board Meeting43:50: What if one spouse doesn't want to do a Family Board Meeting?55:12: Challenge By ChoiceReflection Questions:What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?Do you have a vision for your family? Can you and your spouse both articulate that vision to your children & others?What daily issues are most likely to get you stuck in the urgent instead of the important?Send us a text. We can't respond directly, but we're excited to hear what's on your mind!Click here to register for the DBT group from Jan. 20 - March 24, 2026 (MN & WI residents only)Support the showThank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Follow us on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE GUIDE TO LIVING ALCOHOL-FREE HERE Megan sits down with special guest, Nisha Patel, LPC, the founder of The Nishe — a counseling and coaching practice rooted in helping people heal, grow, and design lives aligned with their values.Long before she became a therapist, she knew she wanted to help others. As a child, she would often say she'd grow up to be a teacher — and in so many ways, she did… just not in the way she originally imagined.After getting sober at just 24 years old, Nisha gained the clarity that changed the course of her life. She left behind a marketing career and pursued her true calling, earning her master's degree in Clinical Mental Health and becoming a Licensed Professional Counselor over a decade ago.In this episode, we talk about:✨ How sobriety creates clarity and opens doors to purpose✨ Navigating identity shifts after quitting drinking✨ Career changes and major life transitions✨ What it means to design a life around your values✨ Moving beyond survival and into a life that feels meaningful and groundedNisha began her clinical work as a DBT therapist and has since expanded her approach to include hypnotherapy, brainspotting, and Life Design & Transition Coaching. Nisha's coaching supports not only individuals in recovery, but also those navigating major life transitions — including career changes, identity shifts, and seasons of reinvention. Her work helps clients anchor into their core values while stepping into new chapters with clarity, intention, and confidence.Through counseling, coaching, workshops, and speaking, Nisha blends evidence-based therapy with creativity and compassion to help people move beyond survival and into lives that feel meaningful, grounded, and fully lived.FOLLOW NISHA ON INSTAGRAMBALI RETREAT 2026 USE CODE: GLOW200 FOR $200 OFFJoin the Sobriety Accelerator 90-Day Program $500 OFF with code: DRYJAN

In this in-depth and hope-filled episode of Mental Health: Hope and Recovery, hosts Helen Sneed and Valerie Milburn welcome DBT expert Penny Kruger, LCSW-S, for a powerful conversation about Dialectical Behavior Therapy and why it continues to change lives. Building on their previous DBT episode, Helen and Valerie explore how DBT works in real-world clinical settings, why it is more than just a therapy model, and how it provides practical, life-saving skills for people struggling with intense emotions, impulsive behaviors, and chronic despair. With over 30 years of clinical experience, Penny shares her knowledge and insight on DBT treatment, why validation and transparency matter, and how people can stay engaged in treatment even when they feel demoralized or ready to quit. The episode closes with a guided mindfulness and opposite action exercise led by Valerie. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN What Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is and why it works The core goals of DBT: balancing acceptance and change How DBT helps manage emotional dysregulation and impulsive behaviors What “life worth living” means in DBT Why DBT skills are action-oriented and practical Why validation and transparency are central to healing How DBT fosters long-term hope and recovery Find us on Facebook RESOURCES AND LINKS Crisis Support:  Call or text 988 (U.S.) for immediate mental health help or dial 911. Building a Life Worth Living by Marsha Linehan Available at  https://mentalhealthhopeandrecovery.com Listen/Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Audible Find Helen and Valerie here : Mental Health Hope and Recovery Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rhiannon Theurer, LMFT has just published The Neurodivergence Skills Workbook for Teens: DBT Tools To Help You Deal with Sensory Sensitivity, Manage Emotional Overwhelm and Thrive. Rhiannon Theurer is a  neurodivergent therapist in private practice who works with neurodivergent teens and adults. She can be found at rhiannon@rhiannontheurer.com Rhiannon Theurer talks in her book and in this interview about  how the skills taught in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) can be so helpful for neurodivergence teens who may for a variety of reasons experience the world in a more intense and nonvalidating manner.  

SummaryIn this episode of The Sober Gay Guy Podcast, host TJ shares a heartfelt check-in as the holiday season approaches. He reflects on personal challenges, including health issues and the emotional toll of recent tragic events. TJ discusses the importance of mental health, coping strategies for the holiday season, and the necessity of joy and connection. He emphasizes practical tips for maintaining well-being, such as movement, self-care, and reaching out to loved ones. The episode concludes with a message of encouragement and support for listeners during difficult times.Sour candy is used as a grounding technique to manage acute anxiety or panic attacks by providing an intense sensory distraction that pulls focus to the present moment. The intense, sharp taste of the candy triggers a strong physiological response that momentarily overrides overwhelming feelings of fear and anxiety, a method often incorporated into dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). Sensory Distraction: The brain is forced to focus intensely on the unexpected and powerful sour sensation, disrupting the cycle of anxious thoughts and rumination.Grounding: By demanding attention to taste, smell, and texture, the candy helps anchor the individual in the "here and now," which can stop a panic spiral.Physical Response: The jolt of flavor can activate the vagus nerve and cause physical reactions like salivation or changes in facial expression, which may signal the body to calm down and regain a sense of control. Sober Gay Guy theme music by: Adam Moyer

Join Dr. David Puder and renowned psychodynamic expert Dr. Frank Yeomans in this Q&A episode on countertransference, transference, and projective identification in psychotherapy. Drawing from object relations theory and Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP), Dr. Yeomans illustrates these concepts with real clinical examples. Explore how therapists can harness countertransference to deepen empathy, how this differs from DBT, the challenges of training, and the limitations of AI in therapy.  By listening to this episode, you can earn 1.75 Psychiatry CME Credits. Link to blog Link to YouTube video

Every parent has bad days, but some of those bad days become great stories over time.Especially when there's a literal fork in the road.Send us a text. We can't respond directly, but we're excited to hear what's on your mind!Click here to register for the DBT group from Jan. 20 - March 24, 2026 (MN & WI residents only)Support the showThank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Follow us on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

In this episode the hosts dive into a $4.5M, 12‑bed Los Angeles drug and alcohol rehab facility deal with $4M revenue and $1M SDE, unpacking utilization trends, regulatory risks (MSO/CPOM), and why it might not be a compelling acquisition as‑is.Business Listing – https://www.bizbuysell.com/business-opportunity/drug-and-alcohol-rehabilitation-facilities/2447669/Welcome to Acquisitions Anonymous – the #1 podcast for small business M&A. Every week, we break down businesses for sale and talk about buying, operating, and growing them.

Message us here!Holiday gatherings promise connection, but so many of us walk in bracing for old patterns: the comment that lands like a dart, the sibling rivalry that never grew up, the invisible work of keeping the peace. In this episode, I delve into  why this season can feel so raw and how to survive it when your family reunions don't resemble a Hallmark card.I also talk about this year's surge in anxiety and grief, the rise in estrangement, and the isolation that lingers after the holiday lights come down in January. This time might be stressful under normal circumstances, but it's a whole other thing when you have dysfunctional or even "toxic" family.If you're stuck in old unhealthy patterns with your family, you might not realize how much holding onto a "healing fantasy" is keeping you trapped. I unpack the concept of a “healing fantasy,” that deep, often hidden wish that a parent will finally see you, a sibling will get help, or conflict will stop for good. Then I suggest some practical tools from DBT that will get you focused on what really matters to you this holiday season.Support the showIf you're navigating someone's mental health or emotional issues, join KulaMind, our community and support platform. In KulaMind, we'll help you set healthy boundaries, advocate for yourself, and support your loved one. Follow @kulamind on Instagram for podcast updates and science-backed insights on staying sane while loving someone emotionally explosive. For more info about this podcast, check out: www.alittlehelpforourfriends.com

Arkadiy Volkov is a Registered Psychotherapist and the founder of Feel Your Way Therapy, a private practice in Toronto specializing in trauma-informed care. After a decade-long career as a lawyer, Arkadiy made a personal and professional transformation, shifting into psychotherapy to help people heal from anxiety, trauma, and relationship challenges.At Feel Your Way Therapy, Arkadiy leads a team of therapists who work with individuals, couples, children, and families using approaches such as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), EMDR, CBT, DBT, and somatic-based practices. His work is rooted in attachment theory and the belief that healing happens through safe, attuned connection.Arkadiy is especially passionate about helping people move beyond protective strategies like emotional shutdown or perfectionism, and into deeper self-acceptance and secure connection.In This EpisodeArkadiy's websiteArkadiy on IGBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.You can learn more about what I do here:The Trauma Therapist Newsletter: celebrates the people and voices in the mental health profession. And it's free! Check it out here: https://bit.ly/4jGBeSa———If you'd like to support The Trauma Therapist Podcast and the work I do you can do that here with a monthly donation of $5, $7, or $10: Donate to The Trauma Therapist Podcast.Click here to join my email list and receive podcast updates and other news.Thank you to our Sponsors:Incogni - Use code [traumatherapist] and get 60% off annual plans: https://incogni.com/traumatherapistJane App - use code GUY1MO at https://jane.app/book_a_demoJourney Clinical - visit https://join.journeyclinical/trauma for 1 month off your membershipTherapy Wisdom - https://therapywisdom.com/jan/

Forrest is joined by psychiatrist Dr. Blaise Aguirre to discuss Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). They explore how extreme emotional sensitivity can lead to despair, self-hatred, suicidality, and an intense fear of abandonment, and how DBT can teach the skills needed to regulate those feelings. They discuss the nature of self-hatred, how to change the stories you've told about yourself, and how their insight and empathy can make people with BPD some of his favorite clients to work with. About our Guest: Dr. Blaise Aguirre is the medical director of 3East at McLean Hospital, a residential DBT program for adolescents and young adults, and is an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He's also the co-author of a number of books including DBT for Dummies, and the author of I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You. Key Topics:  0:00: Introduction 4:05: Common features of BPD 15:16: Skill-building versus narrative work in therapy 22:10: What DBT looks like in practice 27:02: DBT skills: mindfulness, dialectic thinking, and opposite action 33:43: How to shift self-hatred 49:22: Stigmatization of BPD 53:25: BPD versus CPTSD 58:52: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.  Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"If you find that you have wandered away from the shelter of God, lead your heart back to Him quietly and simply."~ St. Francis de SalesWhat is wrong with me that I feel so overwhelmed sometimes?Why do I freeze up and struggle to process stress?How can I get back to my authentic self and respond instead of react?In Episode 88 of This Whole Life, Pat & Kenna dive deep into the concept of the “Window of Tolerance” — a foundational model for understanding emotional regulation and navigating stress. Blending faith and mental health insights, they explore how our window of tolerance shapes daily reactions, especially during times of stress or change. Kenna breaks down Dr. Dan Siegel's model, describing the differences between living within and outside our window, and offering practical strategies for getting back to our authentic self. The hosts share personal stories about family, parenting, and marriage, making the science relatable for listeners. They discuss how to expand your window, respond with compassion (to self and others), and why reflecting on your patterns is a game-changer. Perfect for anyone feeling overwhelmed and seeking practical, soul-nourishing ways to regain balance, this episode is both insightful and encouraging.Episode 88 Show NotesChapters:0:00: Introduction and Highs & Hards12:38: What is the Window of Tolerance?22:55: The place of authentic choices & actions30:36: Getting back in my Window of Tolerance38:22: Growing in resilience & expanding my Window52:56: Challenge By ChoiceReflection Questions:What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?What do you think of the Window of Tolerance model? How do you see it in your life?What pushes you out of your Window? How do you know when you're above or below the Window of Tolerance?How do you get back in your Window when you find yourself outside it?What does God have to say about the moments when you're overwhelmed and outside of your Window of Tolerance?Send us a text. We can't respond directly, but we're excited to hear what's on your mind!Click here to register for the DBT group from Jan. 20 - March 24, 2026 (MN & WI residents only)Support the showThank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Follow us on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

You know that moment where your kid says or does something, your nervous system spikes, and every parenting thing you've ever learned disappears from your brain… Today we're talking about the huge gap between what we know about calm parenting and what actually comes out when we're tired, stressed, and triggered.I'm joined by Dr. Alissa Jerud—clinical psychologist, DBT expert, and author of Emotion-Savvy Parenting. Dr. Jerud blends gold-standard, evidence-based tools with respectful parenting so you can stop white-knuckling your reactions and start leading with grounded emotional skill.In this episode, we're diving into:The “knowing vs. doing” gap in motherhoodWhy even the most trained parents lose access to their tools under stress—and what shifts when you stop trying to control your child and start regulating yourself.The ART framework: Accept, Regulate, Tolerate How to accept emotions without judgment, understand the real “ingredients” behind your reactions, and work with triggers, thoughts, and vulnerabilities so you're less likely to snap.What to do when anger hijacks your system How to feel anger without exploding, use distress-tolerance skills to dial it down, and choose actions that align with the parent you want to be.This conversation is for you if you've ever thought, “I should know better by now,” but your reactions aren't matching the mom you want to be. You'll walk away with language, lenses, and practical tools you can use in real time… even on the messy days.Pick up Dr Jerud's book Emotion-Savvy Parenting here.

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, OR— BRAND NEW: we've included a fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I speak with Shireen Rizvi, PhD and Jesse Finkelstein, PsyD, about their book Real Skills for Real Life: A DBT Guide to Navigating Stress, Emotions, and Relationships. We discuss what Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is, how it can help both ourselves and our kids with big feelings, and get into some of the skills it teaches including distress tolerance, check the facts, and mindfulness.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this post? Share it with them!We talk about:* 6:00 What is DBT?* 11:00 The importance of validation* 13:00 How do parents manage their own big feelings?* 16:00 How do you support a kid with big feelings, and where is the place for problem solving?* 23:00 Managing the urge to fix things for our kids!* 26:00 What is distress tolerance?* 28:50 “Check the facts” is a foundational skill* 34:00 Mindfulness is a foundation of DBT* 36:45 How the skills taught through DBT are universalResources mentioned in this episode:* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Real Skills for Real Life: A DBT Guide to Navigating Stress, Emotions, and Relationships by Shireen Rizvi and Jesse Finkelstein * Shireen Rizvi's website * Jesse Finkelstein's websites axiscbt and therahive Connect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram* Facebook Group* YouTube* Website* Join us on Substack* Newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session callxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the spring for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HEREPodcast transcript:Sarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today we have two guests who co-authored a book called Real Skills for Real Life: A DBT Guide to Navigating Stress, Emotions, and Relationships.And you may be wondering why we're talking about that on a parenting podcast. This was a really great conversation with Shireen Rizvi and Jesse Finkelstein, the co-authors of the book, about all of the skills of DBT, which is a modality of therapy. We talked about the skills they teach in DBT and how we can apply them to parenting.They talk about how emotional dysregulation is the cause of so much of the pain and suffering in our lives. And I think as a parent, you will recognize that either your own emotional dysregulation or your child's is often where a lot of issues and conflict come from.So what they've really provided in this book—and given us a window into in this conversation—is how we can apply some of those skills toward helping ourselves and helping our children with big feelings, a.k.a. emotional dysregulation. It was a really wonderful conversation, and their book is wonderful too. We'll put a link to it in the show notes and encourage you to check it out.There are things you can listen to in this podcast today and then walk away and use right away. One note: you'll notice that a lot of what they talk about really overlaps with the things we teach and practice inside of Peaceful Parenting.If this episode is helpful for you, please share it with a friend. Screenshot it and send it to someone who could use some more skill-building around big emotions—whether they're our own big emotions or our child's. Sharing with a friend or word of mouth is a wonderful way for us to reach more people and more families and help them learn about peaceful parenting.It is a slow process, but I really believe it is the way we change the world. Let's meet Shireen and Jesse.Hi, Jesse. Hi, Shireen. Welcome to the podcast.Jesse: Thank you so much for having us.Sarah: Yeah. I'm so excited about your book, which I understand is out now—Real Skills for Real Life: A DBT Guide to Navigating Stress, Emotions, and Relationships. First of all, I love the format of your book. It's super easy to read and easy to use. I already thought about tearing out the pages with the flow charts, which are such great references—really helpful for anyone who has emotions. Basically anyone who has feelings.Jesse: Oh, yes.Sarah: Yeah. I thought they were great, and I think this is going to be a helpful conversation for parents. You've written from a DBT framework. Can you explain what DBT is and maybe how it's different from CBT? A lot of people have heard more about cognitive behavior therapy than dialectical behavior therapy.Shireen: Sure. I would first say that DBT—Dialectical Behavior Therapy—is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy. So they're in the same category. Sometimes we hear therapists say, “I do DBT, but I don't do CBT,” and from my perspective, that's not really possible, because the essence of dialectical behavior therapy is CBT. CBT focuses on how our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions all go together, and how changing any one of those affects the others.That's really the core of DBT—the foundation of CBT. But what happened was the person who developed DBT, Marsha Linehan—she was actually my grad school advisor at the University of Washington—developed this treatment because she was finding that standard CBT was not working as well as she wanted it to for a particular population. The group she was working with were women, primarily, who had significant problems with emotion regulation and were chronically suicidal or self-injuring.With that group, she found they needed a lot more validation—validation that things were really rough, that it was hard to change what was going on, that they needed support and comfort. But if she leaned too much on validation, patients got frustrated that there wasn't enough change happening.So what she added to standard CBT was first a focus on validation and acceptance, and then what she refers to as the dialectical piece: balancing between change and acceptance. The idea is: You're doing the best you can—and you need to do better.Jesse: Mm-hmm.Shireen: And even though DBT was developed for that very severe group that needed a lot of treatment, one of the aspects of DBT is skills training—teaching people skills to manage their emotions, regulate distress, engage interpersonally in a more effective way.Those skills became so popular that people started using them with everyone they were treating, not just people who engaged in chronic suicidal behavior.Sarah: Very cool. And I think the population you're referring to is people who might be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I bring that up only because I work with parents, not kids, and parents report to me what their children are like. I've had many parents worry, “Do you think my child has borderline personality disorder?” because they've heard of it and associate it with extreme sensitivity and big feelings.A lot of that is just typical of someone who's 13 or 14, right? Or of a sensitive child—not diagnosable or something you'd necessarily find in the DSM. I've heard it so many times. I say, “No, I don't think your child has borderline personality disorder. I think they're just really sensitive and haven't learned how to manage their big feelings yet. And that's something you can help them with.”With that similar level of emotional intensity—in a preteen or early teen who's still developing the brain structures that make self-regulation possible—how can we use DBT skills? What are a couple of ideas you might recommend when you have a 13-year-old who feels like life is ruined because the jeans they wanted to wear are soaking wet in the wash? And I'm not making fun—at 13, belonging is tied to how you look, what jeans you're wearing, how your hair is. It feels very real.So how might we use the skills you write about for that kind of situation?Jesse: Well, Sarah, I actually think you just practiced one of the skills: validation. When someone feels like their day is ruined because of their jeans, often a parent will say, “Get over it. It's not a big deal.” And now, in addition to fear or anxiety, there's a layer of shame or resentment. So the emotion amplifies and becomes even harder to get out of.Validation is a skill we talk about where you recognize the kernel of truth—how this experience makes sense. “The jeans you're wearing are clearly important to you. This is about connection. I understand why you feel this way.” That simple act of communicating that someone's thoughts and feelings make sense can be very powerful.Alongside that—back to what Shireen was saying—there are two tracks. One is the skills you help your teen practice. The other is the skills you practice yourself to be effective. In that moment, your teen might be dysregulated. What is the parent's emotion? Their urge? What skills can they practice to be effective?Sarah: I love that you already went to the next question I was going to ask, which is: when that kid is screaming, “You don't understand, I can't go to school because of the jeans,” what can parents do for themselves using the skills you describe?Shireen: I often think of the oxygen-mask analogy: put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. That was certainly true for me when I had fussy infants—how do you manage that stress when you are already heightened?What do you need to do to regulate yourself so you can be effective in the moment? Sometimes that's literally taking a time-out—leaving the room for a minute. The kid comes after you about the jeans, and you say, “Hold on, I need a minute.” You sequester yourself in the bathroom. You do paced breathing—a DBT skill that helps regulate your nervous system. You do that for a minute, get centered, and then return to the situation.If you're not regulated and your child is dysregulated, you'll ping-pong off each other and it becomes messier and messier. But if you can regulate yourself and approach calmly, the whole interaction changes.Sarah: It's so interesting because people who've been listening to my podcast or know my work will think, “Oh yeah, these are the things Sarah talks about all the time.” Our first principle of peaceful parenting is parental self-regulation. It doesn't mean you never get upset, but you recognize it and have strategies to get back to calm.And I always say, if you forget everything else I teach about dealing with upset kids, just remember empathy—which is another way of saying validation. I tell parents: you don't have to agree to empathize. Especially with situations like the jeans.I love the crossover between the skills parents are practicing in my community and what you've written about. And again: those flow charts! I'm going to mark up my book with Post-its for all the exercises.One of the things you talk about in the book is problem solving. As parents, we can find ourselves in these intense situations. I'll give an example: a client's daughter, at 11 p.m., was spiraling about needing a particular pair of boots for her Halloween costume, and they wouldn't arrive in time. No matter what the mom said, the daughter spiraled.This is a two-part question: If you've validated and they're still really upset, how do you support a kid who is deep in those intense feelings? And when is the place for teaching problem solving—especially when there is a real logistical problem to solve?Jesse: I'm going to say the annoying therapist thing: it depends. If we think about how emotions impact our thinking on a scale from 0 to 10, it's very hard to engage in wise-minded problem solving when someone is at an 8, 9, or 10. At that point, the urge is to act on crisis behaviors—yell, fight, ruminate.So engaging your child in problem solving when they're at a 9 isn't effective.Often, I suggest parents model and coach distress-tolerance skills. Shireen mentioned paced breathing. Maybe distraction. Anything to lower the emotional volume.Once we're in the six-ish range? Now we can problem solve. DBT has a very prescribed step-by-step process.But it's really hard if someone is so dysregulated. That's often where parents and kids end up in conflict: parent wants to solve; kid is at a 9 and can't even see straight.Sarah: Right. So walk us through what that might look like using the boots example. Play the parent for a moment.Jesse: Of course. I'd potentially do a couple of things. I might say, “Okay, let's do a little ‘tipping the temperature' together.” I'd bring out two bowls of ice and say, “We'll bend over, hold our breath for 30 seconds…”Shireen: And put your face in the bowl of ice water. You left out that part.Jesse: Crucial part of the step.Sarah: You just look at the ice water?Jesse: No, you submerge your face. And something happens—it's magical. There's actually a profound physiological effect: lowering blood pressure, calming the sympathetic nervous system.I highlight for parents: do this with your child, not didactically. Make it collaborative.And then: validate, validate, validate. Validation is not approval. It's not saying the reaction is right. It's simply communicating that their distress makes sense. Validation is incredibly regulating.Then you check in: “Do you feel like we can access Wise Mind?” If yes: “Great. Let's bring out a problem-solving worksheet—maybe from Real Skills for Real Life or the DBT manual. Let's walk through it step by step.”Sarah: And if you have a kid screaming, “Get that ice water away from me, that has nothing to do with the boots!”—is there anything to add beyond taking a break?Shireen: I'd say this probably comes up a lot for you, Sarah. As parents—especially high-functioning, maybe perfectionistic types (I put myself in that category)—if my kid is upset, I feel so many urges to fix it right away. Sometimes that's helpful, but often it's not. They either don't want to be fixed, or they're too dysregulated, or fixing isn't actually their goal—they just want to tell you how upset they are.I have to practice acceptance: “My kid is upset right now. That's it.” I remind myself: kids being upset is part of life. It's important for them to learn they can be upset and the world doesn't fall apart.If they're willing to do skills alongside you, great. But there will be times where you say, “I accept that you're upset. I'm sorry you feel this way. It sounds terrible. Let's reconnect in an hour.” And wait for the storm to pass.Sarah: Wait for the storm to pass.Jesse: I'll say—I haven't been a therapist that long, and I've been having this conversation with my own parents. Yesterday I called my mom about something stressful, and she said, “Jesse, do you want validation or problem solving right now?”Shireen: Love it.Jesse: I thought, “You taught her well.” I was like: okay, therapy works. And even having that prompt—“What would you like right now? Problem solving? Validation? Do you want me to just sit with you?”—that's so useful.Sarah: Yeah. I have to remind myself of that with my daughter, especially when the solution seems obvious to me but she's too upset to take it in. Just sitting there is the hardest thing in the world.And you've both anticipated my next question. A big part of your book is distress tolerance—one of the four areas. Can you talk about what distress tolerance is specifically? And as you mentioned, Shireen, it is excruciating when your kid is in pain or upset.I learned from my friend Ned Johnson—his wonderful book The Self-Driven Child—that there's something called the “righting instinct.” When your child falls over, you have the instinct to right them—pick them up, dust them off, stand them up. That instinct kicks in whenever they're distressed. And I think it's important for them to learn skills so we don't do that every time.Give us some thoughts about that.Shireen: Well, again, I think distress tolerance is so important for parents and for kids. The way we define it in DBT is: distress tolerance is learning how to tolerate stressful, difficult, complicated situations without doing anything to make it worse. That's the critical part, because distress tolerance is not about solving problems. It's about getting through without making things worse.So in the context of an interaction with your kid, “not making it worse” might mean biting your tongue and not lashing out, not arguing, not rolling your eyes, or whatever it is. And then tolerating the stress of the moment.As parents, we absolutely need this probably a thousand times a day. “How do I tolerate the distress of this moment with my kid?” And then kids, as humans, need to learn distress tolerance too—how to tolerate a difficult situation without doing anything to make it worse.If we swoop in too quickly to solve the problem for them—as you said, if we move in too quickly to right them—they don't learn that they can get through it themselves. They don't learn that they can right themselves.And I think there's been a lot written about generations and how parenting has affected different generations. We want our kids to learn how to problem solve, but also how to manage stress and difficulty in effective ways.Sarah: I think you're probably referring to the “helicopter parents,” how people are always talking about helicopter parents who are trying to remove any obstacles or remove the distress, basically.I think the answer isn't that we just say, “Okay, well, you're distressed, deal with it,” but that we're there with them emotionally while they're learning. We're next to them, right? With that co-regulation piece, while they're learning that they can handle those big feelings.Shireen: Yes. Yeah. Yeah.Sarah: I thought it might be fun, before we close out, to do a deep dive on maybe one or two of the skills you have in the book. I was thinking about maybe “Check the Facts.” It would be a cool one to do a deep dive on. You have so many awesome skills and I encourage anyone to pick up your book. “Check the Facts” is one of the emotion regulation skills.Do you mind going over when you would use Check the Facts, what it is, and how to use it?Jesse: Not at all. Check the Facts is, in many ways, a foundational skill, because it's so easy for us to get lost in our interpretation of a situation. So the classic example is: you're walking down the street and you wave to a friend, and they don't wave back. And I don't know about you, but it's easy for me to go to, “Oh, they must be mad at me.”Sarah: Right, yeah.Jesse: And all of a sudden, I'm spinning out, thinking about all the things I could have done to hurt their feelings, and yada yada yada. Then I'm feeling lots of upset, and I may have the urge to apologize, etc.What we're doing with Check the Facts is returning our attention back to the facts themselves—the things we can take in with our senses. We're observing and describing, which are two foundational mindfulness skills in DBT. And then from that, we ask ourselves: “Does the emotion I'm feeling—the intensity and duration of that emotion—fit the facts as I'm experiencing them?”So in many ways, this is one of those cognitive interventions. DBT rests on all these cognitive-behavioral principles; it's part of that broader umbrella. Here we're asking: “Do the facts as I see them align with my emotional experience?”From there, we ask: if yes, then there are certain options or skills we can practice—for instance, we can change the problem. If no, that begs the question: “Should I act opposite to this emotion urge that I have?”So it's a very grounding, centering type of skill. Shireen, is there anything I'm missing?Shireen: No. I would just give a parenting example that happens for me a lot. My kid has a test the next day. He says he knows everything. He doesn't open the book or want to review the study guide. And I start to think things like, “Oh my gosh, he has no grit. He's going to fail this test. He's not going to do well in high school. He's not going to get into a good college. But most importantly, he doesn't care. And what does that say about him? And what does it say about me as a parent?”I hope people listening can relate to these sorts of thoughts and I'm not alone.Sarah: A hundred percent. I've heard people say those exact things.Shireen: And even though I practice these skills all the time, I'm also human and a mother. So where Check the Facts can be useful there is first just recognizing: “Okay, what thoughts am I having in response to this behavior?” The facts of the situation are: my kid said he doesn't need to study anymore. And then look at all these thoughts that came into my mind.First, just recognizing: here was the event, and here's what my mind did. That, in and of itself, is a useful experience. You can say, “Wow, look at what I'm doing in my mind that's creating so much of a problem.”Then I can also think: “What does this make me feel when I have all these thoughts?” I feel fear. I feel sad. I feel shame about not being a good parent. And those all cause me to have more thoughts and urges to do things that aren't super effective—like trying to bully him into studying, all of these things.Then the skill can be: “Okay, are these thoughts exaggerated? Are they based in fact? Are they useful?” I can analyze each of these thoughts.I might think, “Well, he has a history of not studying and doing fine,” is one thing. Another thought: “Me trying to push him to study is not going to be effective or helpful.” Another: “There are natural consequences. If he doesn't do well because he didn't study, that's an important lesson for him to learn.”So I can start to change my interpretations based on the facts of the actual situation as opposed to my exaggerated interpretations. And then see: what does that do to my emotions? And when I have more realistic, fact-based thoughts, does that lead me to have a better response than I would if I followed through on all my exaggerated thinking?Does that make sense?Sarah: Yeah, totally makes sense. Are there any DBT skills that are helpful in helping you recognize when you need to use a skill—if that makes sense? Because sometimes I think parents might spiral, like in the example you're talking about, but they might not even realize they're spiraling. Sometimes parents will say, “I don't even know until it's too late that I've had this big moment of emotional dysregulation.”Jesse: I think there's a very strong reason why mindfulness is the foundation of DBT—for exactly the reason you've just described. For a lot of us, we end up engaging in behaviors that are ineffective, that are not in line with our values or goals, and it feels like it's just happening to us.So having a mindfulness practice—and I want to highlight that doesn't necessarily mean a formal meditation practice—but developing the skill of noticing, of being increasingly conscious of what you're feeling, your urges, your thoughts, your behaviors. So that when you notice that you are drifting, that you're engaging in an ineffective behavior, you can then apply a skill. We can't change what we're not aware of.Sarah: I love that. It's so hard with all the distractions we have and all of the things that are pulling us this way and that, and the busyness. So just slowing down and starting to notice more what we're feeling and thinking.Shireen: There's a skill that we teach that's in the category of mindfulness called Wise Mind. I don't have to get into all the particulars of that, but Wise Mind is when you're in a place where you feel wise and centered and perhaps a little bit calmer.So one question people can ask themselves is: “Am I in a place of Wise Mind right now?” And if not, that's the cue. Usually, when we answer that we're not, it's because we're in a state of Emotion Mind, where our emotions are in control of us.First, recognizing what state of mind you're in can be really helpful. You can use that as a cue: “I'm not in Wise Mind. I need to do something more skillful here to get there,” or, “I need to give myself some time before I act.”Sarah: I love that. So helpful. Before we wrap up, was there anything you wish I'd asked you that you think would be really helpful for parents and kids?Shireen: I just want to reiterate something you said earlier, which is: yes, this treatment was developed for folks with borderline personality disorder. That is often a diagnosis people run screaming from or are very nervous about. People might hesitate to think that these skills could be useful for them if they don't identify as having borderline personality disorder.But I think what you're highlighting, Sarah—and we so appreciate you having us on and talking about these skills—is that we consider these skills universal. Really anybody can benefit.I've done training and teaching in DBT for 25 years, and I teach clinicians in many different places how to do DBT treatment with patients. But inevitably, what happens is that the clinicians themselves say, “Oh, I really need these skills in my everyday life.”So that's what we want to highlight, and why we wrote this book: to take these skills from a treatment designed for a really severe population and break it down so anybody can see, “Oh, this would be useful for me in my everyday life, and I want to learn more.”Sarah: Totally. Yeah. I love it. And I think it's a continuum, right? From feeling like emotions are overwhelming and challenging, and being really emotionally sensitive. There are lots of people who are on that more emotionally sensitive side of things, and these are really helpful skills for them.Jesse: Yeah. And to add on that, I wouldn't want anyone—and I don't think any of us here are suggesting this—it's such a stigmatized diagnosis. I have yet to meet someone who's choosing suffering. Many of us are trying to find relief from a lot of pain, and we may do so through really ineffective means.So with BPD, in my mind, sometimes it's an unfortunate name for a diagnosis. Many folks may have the opinion that it means they're intrinsically broken, or there's something wrong with their personality. Really, it's a constellation of behaviors that there are treatments for.So I want anyone listening not to feel helpless or hopeless in having this diagnosis or experience.Shireen: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.Sarah: Thank you so much. The question I ask all my guests—I'll ask Shireen first and then Jesse—is: if you could go back in time, if you had a time machine, if you could go back to your younger parent self, what advice would you give yourself?Shireen: Oof. I think about this a lot, actually, because I feel like I did suffer a lot when my kids were babies. They were super colicky. I didn't sleep at all. I was also trying to work. I was very stressed. I wish that at that time I could have taken in what other people were telling me, which is: “This will pass.” Right? “This too shall pass,” which is something we say to ourselves as DBT therapists a lot. Time changes. Change is inevitable. Everything changes.In those dark parenting moments, you get stuck in thoughts of, “This is never going to change. It's always going to be this way. I can't tolerate this.” Instead, shifting to recognize: “Change is going to happen whether I like it or not. Just hang in there.”Sarah: I love that. My mother-in-law told me when I had my first child: “When things are bad, don't worry, they'll get better. And also, when things are good, don't worry, they'll get worse.”Shireen: Yes, it's true. And we need both the ups and the downs so we can actually understand, “Oh, this is why I like this, and this is why I don't like this.” It's part of life.Sarah: Yeah. Thank you. And Jesse, if you do ever have children, what would you want to remember to tell yourself?Jesse: I think I would want to remember to tell myself—and I don't think I'm going to say anything really new here—that perfection is a myth. I think parents often feel like they need to be some kind of superhuman. But we all feel. And when we do feel, and when we feel strongly, the goal isn't to shame ourselves for having that experience. It's to simply understand it.That's what I would want to communicate to myself, and what I hope to communicate to the parents I work with.Sarah: Love that. Best place to go to find out more about you all and what you do? We'll put a link to your book in the show notes, but any other socials or websites you want to point people to?Shireen: My website is shireenrizvi.com, where you can find a number of resources, including a link to the book and a link to our YouTube channel, which has skills videos—animated skills videos that teach some of these skills in five minutes or less. So that's another resource for people.Sarah: Great. What about you, Jesse?Jesse: I have a website called axiscbt.com. I'm also a co-founder of a psychoeducation skills course called Farrah Hive, and we actually have a parenting course based on DBT skills—that's thefarrahhive.com. And on Instagram, @talk_is_good.Sarah: Great. Thank you so much. Really appreciate your time today.Jesse: Thank you, Sarah.Sarah: Thank you. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

KeywordsBPD, holidays, perspective taking, family relationships, emotional health, recovery, interpersonal skills, DBT, self-awareness, acceptanceSummaryIn this episode of 'From Borderline to Beautiful', Rose Skeeters discusses the challenges faced by individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) during the holiday season. She emphasizes the importance of perspective taking in building healthier family relationships and offers practical strategies to manage expectations and foster connection. Through personal anecdotes and research insights, Rose encourages listeners to embrace willingness and acceptance as they navigate their relationships, especially during emotionally charged times like the holidays.Chapters00:00 Navigating the Holiday Season with BPD07:00 Understanding Perspective Taking15:12 Building Healthy Relationships Through Perspective18:00 Embracing Willingness and AcceptanceNeed individual support? Schedule a session with Rose here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/individual-sessions/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠To schedule with Jay, click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/22608/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Gift cards now available for purchase here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/gift-card/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠**This episode is colloquial not clinical, using personal anecdotes to support conveying information in an informal, relatable way**

Content Warning: This episode discusses suicide, self-harm, and mental health. Please listen with care.  What if your teen's big emotions weren't the problem, but your response was? Kate Mason sits down with licensed therapist and author Katie K. May, a leading expert in teen self-harm, DBT, and emotional regulation. Together, they explore the often-quiet struggles parents face when their teenager is overwhelmed by big, burning feelings, what Katie calls being “on fire.” Drawing from her personal journey and professional experience, Katie explains why some kids feel more intensely, how parents unintentionally fuel the flames, and the radical shift needed to connect with and support teens through emotional storms.  Listen For3:36 Why do teens self-harm and what does it achieve?7:26 How did Katie K. May overcome self-harm and trauma?12:57 What is radical acceptance in parenting?20:32 Why does fixing your teen often backfire?30:15 Can stable teens still engage in self-destructive behavior? Leave a rating/review for this podcast with one click   Connect with guest: Katie K. MayLinkedIn | TikTok | Instagram | Instagram | Facebook  Contact Kate: Email | Website | Kate's Book on Amazon | LinkedIn | Facebook | X 

In this week's interview episode, I sit down with licensed therapist Katie May to discuss one of parenthood's hardest challenges: supporting teens through self-destructive behaviors and overwhelming emotions. Katie, founder of Creative Healing Teen Support Centers and author of "You're On Fire, It's Fine," shares proven DBT strategies that actually work. We dive deep into mood-dependent behavior, validation techniques, and why your nervous system regulation matters more than you think. If you're watching your teen struggle with anxiety, self-harm, or suicidal thoughts and feel helpless about how to help without making things worse, this conversation will leave you feeling seen, empowered, and genuinely hopeful about what's possible. For more show notes and info go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-630-help-for-the-self-destructive-teen-with-katie-may/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

People have different ways of approaching the holidays and holy days.Even people who are sacramentally vowed to one another.And sometimes that's really tricky - but pretty funny in retrospect.Send us a text. We can't respond directly, but we're excited to hear what's on your mind!Click here to register for the DBT group from Jan. 20 - March 24, 2026 (MN & WI residents only)Support the showThank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Follow us on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

Mental Health: Hope and Recovery Episode Title: Dialectical Behavior Therapy – The Journey from Pain to Purpose Episode 60 | Duration 45:00 Episode Date: November 26, 2025 Hosts: Helen Sneed and Valerie Milburn EPISODE OVERVIEW Named one of the top 100 scientific inventions, Dialectical Behavior Therapy has successfully guided and supported into recovery hundreds of thousands battling mental illness.  DBT teaches an entire system of dealing with psychiatric disorders and building a life worth living. One of its most effective components is the development of scores of powerful skills to be used daily to overcome the onslaught of uncontrollable emotional dysregulation. Its methods are behavior-oriented and emphasize taking action. Helen and Valerie also share personal stories as they explore how DBT has shaped their own recovery journeys—and why its principles continue to offer hope to millions around the world. WHAT YOU'LL LEARN The history and development of DBT by Marsha Linehan The four core components of DBT, with real-life examples How DBT supports recovery from severe mental illness Ways to apply DBT skills to everyday challenges Personal stories of resilience and transformation from Helen and Valerie MEMORABLE QUOTES “DBT is not just a treatment; it's a way of life that can transform how we relate to ourselves and others.” — Helen “To get better, we must accept where we are and also strive for change. That's the essence of dialectics.” — Valerie TOOLS AND TAKEAWAYS Mindfulness: Skills for grounding and staying present Distress Tolerance: Techniques for getting through crisis moments safely Emotion Regulation: Strategies to manage overwhelming feelings Interpersonal Effectiveness: Skills for improving communication and relationships RESOURCES AND LINKS Book: Building a Life Worth Living by Marsha Linehan Website: mentalhealthhopeandrecovery.com Listen on: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Audible | Pandora Transcript: Available at mentalhealthhopeandrecovery.com Crisis Support: Call or text 988 (U.S.) for immediate help CONNECT WITH US Website: https://mentalhealthhopeandrecovery.com Listen/Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Audible Join the Conversation: How has DBT impacted your life or recovery journey? Share your stories with Helen and Valerie at https://mentalhealthhopeandrecovery.com DISCLAIMER This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The hosts are not licensed mental health professionals. They are your peers. If you are in crisis, please call or text 988 (U.S.) or contact your local emergency services. EPISODE TIMESTAMPS 00:00 — Intro / Welcome 1:20 — What Is DBT? 3:15 — Marsha Linehan and the Creation of DBT 5:00 — The Core Dialectic: Acceptance + Change 7:00 — Linehan's Public Disclosure & DBT Structure 8:50 — CBT vs DBT Comparison 10:00 — Goals of CBT vs Goals of DBT 11:30 — Introduction to DBT Skill Areas 12:15 — Overview of the Four DBT Skills Modules 15:00 — Interpersonal Effectiveness 18:50 — Distress Tolerance Overview 20:00 — Radical Acceptance & When to Use Distress Tolerance 22:10 — DBT for People Without Mental Illness 23:15 — Valerie's Two Lifelong DBT Skills 26:45 — Helen's Story: DBT Became the Lifeline 32:30 — How DBT Helped Helen Save Her Own Life 36:30 — Closing Reflections 39:00 — Mindfulness Exercise   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the VSC Podcast, host Olivia Oropeza introduces a new program that VSC has launched in partnership with Orlando Ballet. This initiative uses the power of movement and dance to promote healing, empowerment and reconnection for survivors of violence, abuse and trauma. Guests interviewed include Co-creators Brandi Godbee and Shane Bland and Emotions in Motion participant Renzo. Brandi Godbee, Lead Therapist/Clinical Manager at Victim Service Center, Co-creator of Emotions in Motion - Brandi is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Qualified Supervisor. Education: Master's degree with Honors in Mental Health Counseling from Rollins College and a Bachelor's degree in English. Trained in EMDR & DBT.Shane Bland, Head of Community Enrichment at Orlando Ballet and Co-creator of Emotions in Motions - As head of Orlando Ballet's Community Enrichment Division, Shane is a dynamic theater artist with an accomplished career spanning Broadway, national tours, regional theater, television, choreography, and directing. His Broadway credits include Bombay Dreams, Show Boat (Harold Prince), and Disney's The Lion King. In Orlando, Shane has starred in Ain't Misbehavin', Cabaret (as the Emcee at Orlando Shakes), and Beauty and the Beast (as The Beast at the Garden Theatre). His choreography credits include Frozen Jr., Matilda (Broadway World Nominee), and Hairspray. Shane also serves as an adjudicator for the Applause Awards, supporting young performers across the region.Below are hotlines we recommend:VSC Helpline: (407) 500-4325National Sexual Assault Helpline (RAINN): 1-800-656-4673Florida Abuse Hotline: 1-800-962-2873 OR visit ⁠⁠⁠myflfamilies.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to report online.Victim Service Center of Central Florida, Inc.2111 East Michigan Street, Suite 210Orlando, Florida 32806Marketing@VictimServiceCenter.org⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

"So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God."~ 1 Corinthians 10:31Is it really possible to stay sane around the holidays?What if I have real baggage from past holidays & celebrations?How do I hold onto my values when the routine is thrown out the window?In episode 87 of This Whole Life, Pat and Kenna dive into the highs, hards, and heartfelt moments that come with holidays and celebrations. Together, they explore personal and family traditions, sharing how their values influence everything from birthdays and wedding anniversaries to Easter and Christmas. The discussion goes far beyond surface-level festivities, unpacking how expectations, family dynamics, and even past baggage shape our experience of these moments. You'll hear practical wisdom about communicating needs, honoring boundaries, and keeping faith at the center of every celebration—even in the midst of chaos. Whether it's prioritizing family, embracing compromise, or creating meaningful new traditions, this episode is full of relatable stories, smiles, and actionable strategies for navigating the busiest—and sometimes hardest—times of the year with both sanity and sanctity.Episode 87 Show NotesChapters:0:00: Intro & Blind Top 1015:57: Highs & Hards22:39: Principles of sane celebrations & holidays35:56: Concrete approaches to sane celebrations (The Millea Way)50:48: Challenge By ChoiceReflection Questions:What is one specific thing that stuck with you from this conversation?What are some of your favorite holiday traditions? Which holidays are most difficult for you?When have you compromised with others about a holiday or celebration? What was that experience like for you?When have you held onto your most central values during a celebration? When have you sacrificed a higher value for the sake of a lower value?How can you identify and communicate your hopes and fears of an upcoming holiday with a loved one? What do you hope they understand about you?Send us a text. We can't respond directly, but we're excited to hear what's on your mind!Click here to register for the DBT group from Jan. 20 - March 24, 2026 (MN & WI residents only)Support the showThank you for listening, and a very special thank you to our community of supporters! Visit us online at thiswholelifepodcast.com, and send us an email with your thoughts, questions, or ideas.Follow us on Instagram & FacebookInterested in more faith-filled mental health resources? Check out the Martin Center for IntegrationMusic: "You're Not Alone" by Marie Miller. Used with permission.

Our Featured Guest for today's call: Heather McKenzie, LCMHCSHeather McKenzie came through Online Course School as a beta student back in the fall of 2021. Online Course School is a live, eight-week experience that takes your online course from a simple idea all the way through the development stages so that you are ready to record. Heather created a course specifically focused on anxiety that can be found at Dial Down Anxiety. Like most of us who create an online course, she faced a common struggle about how to handle marketing time and costs to promote her course. Join us to hear the coaching call!McKenzie Counseling You'll Learn:How to handle logistical challenges in the online presentation of your courseWhy Heather's course is an eight-week course to help people understand anxiety and DBT emotion regulation skillsHow marketing options for an online course can be overwhelming for most people How to pinpoint your own superpowers in teaching and the style that works best for youHow to structure the content levels for promoting your course in six-month blocks:Start with webinars, both free and paid.Offer a downloadable guide or cheat sheet.Use a core blog post as a stand-alone feature that blows people away.Tips from Melvin about content levels:Offering too many things can confuse people, so stick with one core webinar.Less is more!Be thoughtful about using the words “webinar” and “workshop” so as not to intimidate people.Link your blog post videos to YouTube to drive more traffic back to your webinar.Consider that high-quality offerings through webinars, guides, and blog posts help to establish your authority as an expert and give people value that keeps them returning.How podcasting can help with future promotion by giving a call-to-action to your webinarWhy you need to take notes during the first offering of your course with beta students to know what content resonates the most; that content can be used for future free webinarsIn summary, five tools to market an online course that have evergreen potential:Webinar (start with live ones and then transition to evergreen ones)Downloadable guides or cheat sheetsCore blog postSelect podcast episodesMini-podcast Resources:Learn more at sellingthecouch.com/alma and get 2 months FREE–an exclusive offer for STC listeners. Want to launch your online course?Join our Free 90-Minute Workshop happening on December 10th: Will AI Make My Course Irrelevant? Save your spot at sellingthecouch.com/aiwebinarCheck out our new membership site that's launching in January! Find out more and join the interest list for Haven.

Dr. Kenneth Levy discusses how every therapist should at least be aware of multiple treatments for Borderline Personality Disorder, DBT, TFP, and so on. They don't need to practice them all, but they should know about them.

In this snack-sized conversation, Ophira Eisenberg talks with author and newly certified parenting coach Kerri Smith-Maher about how years of teaching writing, her daughter's struggles, her own sobriety journey, and a crash course in perimenopause all pushed her toward parent coaching. Kerri explains how a psychologist friend steered her away from graduate school and toward certification at the Jai Institute, where she dove into nervous system science, attachment theory, and the iceberg model of behavior. She shares why Dr. Becky Kennedy's Good Inside is her go-to recommendation, how a family DBT course helped them decode behavior “under the surface,” and why the real breakthrough in her house came when she learned to regulate herself instead of rushing to fix her daughter's reactions. Kerri also describes how Tara Brach's Radical Acceptance finally taught her to “pause” by practicing it during calm moments—helped along by an iPhone alarm labeled “pause” three times a day. The episode ends with Kerri revealing that her best creative work happens only after caffeine, dog-walking, and a strict morning writing window, a habit she built during her daughter's three-morning-a-week nursery school era.

539. Dissociation is a normal human experience, but when it's outside of normal limits, it can be dysregulating. In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson and Alexandra Mejia look at the signs of structural dissociation, the importance of building a baseline of coping skills, and the need for trauma-informed, integrated therapy (like DBT and somatic work) for long-term healing.Learn more about Sasha at her practice, MindfulInsightsMHC.Find a transcript here. Savvy Psychologist is hosted by Dr. Monica Johnson. Have a mental health question? Email us at psychologist@quickanddirtytips.com or leave a voicemail at 929-256-2191. Find Savvy Psychologist on Facebook and Twitter, or subscribe to the newsletter for more psychology tips.Savvy Psychologist is a part of Quick and Dirty Tips.Links: https://quickanddirtytips.com/savvy-psychologisthttps://www.facebook.com/savvypsychologisthttps://twitter.com/qdtsavvypsychhttps://www.kindmindpsych.com/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Difficult conversations don't get easier by avoiding them—but they can get better when you prepare for them by getting curious. On this episode of The Radical Candor Podcast, Kim talks with Jeff Wetzler, author of ASK, about how staying curious helps us understand what others are really thinking and feeling. Jeff walks us through the curiosity curve and explains how to move into greater curiosity to reduce misunderstandings, deepen trust, and make space for more honest, helpful conversations—at work and at home. If you've ever faced a moment where you weren't sure how to start, what to say, or how someone might react, this episode offers simple tools to help you connect with care and communicate with greater clarity. Get all of the show notes at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠RadicalCandor.com⁠ Episode Links:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Transcript⁠ ⁠Jeff Wetzler ⁠Book | Ask ⁠Article | The Right Way To Prepare for High Stakes Conversations ⁠Jason Rosoff : Get Curious Not Furious | YouTube Connect: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bluesky⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Chapters: (00:00) Preparing for High Stakes Conversations  Jeff and Kim chat about why curiosity is essential for high stakes conversations (03:17) The Curiosity Arc Jeff introduces the sections of the Arc (12:34) The Curiosity Check Checking in to see where you are and where you want to be (18:16) How to Move Along the Arc Jeff explains head, heart, and hand-based ways to move along the Arc (27:06) Letting Go The importance of exhaling and letting go of the agenda in leadership (31:34) Dialectical Behavioural Therapy Kim & Jeff discuss the use of DBT  (32:43) Checking Someone Else's Curiosity Level Jeff explains how to help others get curious  (37:56) Curiosity and Candor Kim explores why curiosity is essential to candor (41:54) Conclusion Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many of us move through life repeating the same painful relationship patterns—feeling unsafe, unseen, or disconnected, even when we're trying our hardest to "do everything right." Invisible wounds from early experiences quietly shape the ways we love, cope, and relate as adults. Instead of recognizing these patterns as natural adaptations, we often turn the blame inward, not realizing that our attachment styles and protective behaviors are rooted in the body and nervous system as much as the mind. Real healing isn't about forcing change or consuming endless self-help advice—it's about reshaping your internal sense of safety on a deeply felt, embodied level. In this episode, we explore how secure, nourishing relationships begin with understanding the implicit memories, sensations, and patterns that live inside us. Learn how to meet old wounds with compassion, honor the protective parts that once kept you safe, and gently build new internal anchors of stability and trust. Using tools like the Wheel of Attachment and the practice of "finding your anchors," this episode offers both a clear roadmap and grounded encouragement for anyone ready to move beyond survival mode and experience connection that feels authentic, spacious, and truly supportive. Jessica Baum is a licensed psychotherapist, certified addiction specialist, and Imago couples therapist with advanced training in EMDR, CBT, DBT, and experiential therapy. She founded the Relationship Institute of Palm Beach and leads a global coaching company supporting clients worldwide. Passionate about trauma, attachment, and interpersonal neurobiology, Jessica helps individuals and couples heal and reconnect. Her bestselling book, Anxiously Attached, has made her a respected voice in nurturing secure, fulfilling relationships.   Episode Highlights 05:55 How early experiences shape our sense of safety. 07:48 Implicit memories and relationship patterns. 11:09 The importance of somatic (body-based) memory. 13:14 Reconnecting with the body for healing. 18:42 Understanding and honoring protective behaviors. 21:40 Building trust in healthier relationship dynamics. 25:00 The essential role of anchors in healing. 26:06 Why healing requires relationships, not willpower. 31:43 Finding and cultivating emotional anchors. 35:05 The Wheel of Attachment: A nuanced approach. 37:45 Earning security through supportive experiences. 40:31 Moving toward fulfillment: Real connection and support.   Your Check List of Actions to Take Slow down and take mindful pauses to help connect with your body and increase present-moment awareness. Notice physical sensations during interactions, especially in moments of emotional intensity, to access implicit memories and attachment wounds. Practice developing interoception—your ability to sense internal bodily states—to better understand your emotional responses in relationships. Identify and honor your protective patterns ("protectors") rather than judging them; acknowledge they were there to support you. Seek out safe "anchors" or individuals who can offer emotional co-regulation and support your healing process. Use the "Wheel of Attachment" framework to explore how your early relational dynamics show up in current relationships. If you lack supportive anchors, resource from memories of secure figures (e.g., a teacher, grandparent) or pursue professional support. Engage in relationships and healing spaces where vulnerability, witnessing, and somatic attunement are encouraged, facilitating earned secure attachment over time.   Mentioned Safe: An Attachment-Informed Guide to Building More Secure Relationships Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love SAFE (Interview and freebies link) Nurturing the Heart (Dr. Bonnie Badenoch's website) Conscious Relationship Group (Facebook group) (link) Relationship Institute of Palm Beach ERP 342: How Love Transforms Our Nervous System — An Interview With Jessica Baum ERP 276: Understanding The Need For Both Self-Regulation And Co-Regulation In Relationship – An interview With Deb Dana ERP 261: How To Strengthen Your Relationship From A Polyvagal Perspective – An Interview with Dr. Stephen Porges ERP 423: How To Transcend Trauma (And The Effects Experience In Relationship) — An Interview With Dr. Frank Anderson 12 Relationship Principles to Strengthen Your Love (free guide)   Connect with Jessica Baum Websites: beselffull.com Facebook: facebook.com/consciousrelationshipgroup YouTube: youtube.com/@jessicabaumlmhc Instagram: instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc  

Can emotional regulation be taught like reading or math? What happens when technology starts offering comfort instead of therapy? How can modalities like DBT evolve without losing their integrity in […] The post Real Skills for Real Life: DBT, AI, and the Future of Emotional Support with Shireen L. Rizvi, PhD and Jesse Finkelstein, PsyD | POP 1297 appeared first on How to Start, Grow, and Scale a Private Practice | Practice of the Practice.

When emotions clash with reason, clarity feels impossible. In this episode, AJ and Johnny sit down with psychologists Dr. Shireen Rizvi and Dr. Jesse Finkelstein — coauthors of Real Skills for Real Life — to explore how Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) turns emotional chaos into calm, actionable wisdom. They break down DBT's balance of change and acceptance, show how to identify “skills deficits” behind recurring struggles, and reveal why mindfulness and emotional awareness are the foundation of resilience. You'll learn how to use DBT's practical frameworks — including the Wise Mind and DEAR MAN skills — to strengthen communication, build emotional regulation, and handle difficult conversations without losing self-respect. Whether you're negotiating at work, managing conflict, or simply trying to understand yourself better, this conversation gives you a playbook for thinking clearly and acting with intention — even under pressure. What to Listen For[00:01:00] What DBT adds to traditional CBT — and why it works[00:02:28] The balance between change and acceptance in personal growth[00:05:06] Reframing emotional struggles as “skills deficits”[00:07:02] Breaking emotional loops and rewriting your story[00:10:28] Understanding “Wise Mind” — integrating logic and emotion[00:16:33] How emotion is data — not distraction[00:20:12] Using mindfulness to expand your perspective and reduce suffering[00:26:42] Building confidence through mastery and self-compassion[00:31:28] DBT frameworks for clarity in high-stakes conversations[00:33:46] Using DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST to communicate effectively[00:49:22] How self-respect, values, and truth create lasting confidence A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially.  Visit the ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. If you've put off organizing your finances, Monarch is for you. Use code CHARM at ⁠⁠monarch.com⁠⁠ in your browser for half off your first year.  Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠makeheadway.com/CHARM ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TODAY to get started  Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: Real Skills for Real Life: A DBT Guide to Navigating Stress, Emotions, and Relationships Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices