monster club ™ podcast

we're back with some more halloween witch magic: 2 forgotten halloween specials that were pretty decent. incredible synths! talking cloud people! levar burton! the smiths without morrissey!

this episode is brought to you by: benadryl. stay weird with benadryl. christopher lee, peter cushing, and telly savalas star in a rip off of "the thing" set on a train! we are talking about a legitimately fun movie for once! we also get off track a bit and talk about sandwiches.

check, one, one two. we finally are releasing our live commentary episode about the 1987 e.t. rip-off titled "nukie". it's also known as "n.u.k.i.e.", but the acronym is never explained. we manage to also discuss divination and fredric jameson. there is also a special guest cameo by one of the hosts of the late late capitalism show.

after a hiatus due to laziness in the editing room, we return with two movies you might have actually heard of before. they are two sci fi fantasy epics that tried really hard to be the next star wars and failed. we also manage to briefly discuss pringles and poochinski. it's a long episode, folks! also, check out krom's tree care & landscaping in davisburg michigan! we have no affiliation with them, but they seem cool. each to his fate.

happy garbage day! it's our second non-canonical holiday sleeze fest, and this time we are doing killer santa movies. our first film is set in a sorority and features bad british accents. our second film is a revenge story with one of the greatest lead performances in cinematic history by the lovely eric freeman. we also make time to discuss typical festive topics like garrotes.

don't watch thankskilling. like seriously don't. it's actually awful. it's so bad that we actually prefer a zero-budget movie where the evil rooster doesn't even appear onscreen. one of our podcasters who made it through several pasolini movies could not stomach thankskilling. you can listen to this episode, i guess, but seriously do not watch thankskilling.

we get into the spooky season by discussing these 2 non-classic 70's children's specials that are both basically footloose. the first one is about surviving the grinch's hippy drug antics, and the second one is about a witch who wants the classic movie monsters to unionize and be feminists. these specials aren't particularly good, but they aren't boring.

after a break, we are back with a roar (and a ribbit). after a long discussion about dragon's den, we take apart a movie where lions seriously injured something like 70 people. we also talk about a very confusing movie about sam elliott getting attacked by animals that are mostly not frogs despite being titled 'frogs.'

it's the denise richards double feature special! it's also our one-year anniversary! we have special guests like billy pilgrim from slaughterhouse five, not mazzy star, and a pterodactyl!

cigars! sex! quack-fu! it's our episode where we talk about possibly the most important movie ever made (not a joke): the george lucas produced marvel abomination about a woman who wants to **** a duck. it might have been a huge box office bomb, but it is largely responsible for all of the toxic media/disney supremacy today. we also take the opportunity to mention "the pest" starring john leguizamo a lot. special thanks to our guest host this episode!

vampires! german expressionism! willem dafoe! udo kier! werner herzog! isabelle adjani! klaus kinski! (ugh) we talk about 3 nosferatu movies to celebrate the original's 100th birthday. vaguely related topics we also discuss include canceling 80% of the population and the oldest you can be when dying young. our special guest for this episode is a theremin that shows up in the last few minutes of the episode. the intro music this week uses samples from the vampire movie "the reflecting skin," which is never actually mentioned in this episode.

crack open a fresh container of spinal fluid! in this double feature episode, we discuss films where frankenstein is a kaiju and bela lugosi plays an ape man. we also cover other important topics like elvis (is he still among us?).

it's herman melville's classic but produced by the asylum! they are the folks who did classics like atlantic rim, independents day, titanic 2, and the sharknado franchise. we mostly just talk about barry bostwick (brad from rocky horror) for an hour and intermittently ask how much we actually know about submarines. also, sorry melville, but whales are mammals. dumbass.

sound the alarms! we discuss everybody's favorite michael crichton adaptation congo for our first episode of 2022! it's a movie about tim curry looking for diamonds with the help of a nintendo power glove wielding gorilla who might be an alcoholic! this episode is benefited by guest stars ernie hudson (ghostbusters) and dylan walsh (nip/tuck), as well as a special ghost cameo for the end. this episode also has two original music sequences inspired by claire denis' beau travail for some reason. and lots of talk about indiana jones. enjoy!

it's our holiday extravaganza featuring a special intro by emilie de ravin! we discuss "santa's slay," "krampus," "gingerdead man," and "santa jaws." we cancel everyone involved with these movies throughout the episode! other topics of discussion include: dutch angles, american apparel, donkeys, and the grinch having covid. also, in the spirit of the season, one of the hosts reports from a cold porch with varying audio quality and sounds of people doing dishes. happy holidays!

the "kaiju or barnyard animal" contest winner joins us to watch norwegian med students face off against nazi zombies. it's a movie with outhouse sex, so we give a lot of sex advice in this episode. the closing credits music is tchaikovsky sung by the band glitter penis.

pretty self explanatory: we talk about a movie featuring murderous tomates. our episode opens with a remix of the movie's song "puberty love" sung by the drummer of soundgarden. we also talk about how much we love the late christopher plummer. unfortunately we never talk about susan sontag's "notes on "camp.""

this episode is a tailspin. the first 40 minutes is mostly unedited rambling about things like our origins, the careers of star trek alumni, fievel goes west, godzilla, and titane. the second half dives into other things like the movie "things" (1989). it might be the worst thing we have ever watched despite being a masterclass in haptic cinema. happy halloween!

no it's not the mgmt song, it's a movie from taiwan that was edited into a movie for hong kong by the infamous godfrey ho. it's the story about a giant snake that helps people cheat at grass skiing! this episode also features a willy wonka-esque like game, a kaiju interview, and some synth music by azul y negro that was used in the movie (no infringement intended).

a $100 paid guest intro by famous clockwork orange guy malcolm mcdowell! tons of extra guest stars! sexy nastaasja kinski! weird cat sex gunk! rants about hating richard gere! all of this is featured in this extra long episode about paul schrader's fun convoluted erotic masterpiece cat people. no animals were harmed in the making of this episode.

evil clowns! stupid cops! fantastical kinks! mikhail bakhtin? it's another typical episode of monster club except this time the movie is good. the three hosts for this week discuss killer klowns from outer space (1988) directed by stephen chiodo. it's craa(a)z(z)y!

in this episode delayed by 2 weeks (due to a curse), the ghost of marlon brando is summoned to introduce his 90s movie about killer animal-human-hybrid people. things get scary! things get furry! this week's three hosts (one with two names, one with no name, and another named scooby) want to give special thanks to virgil katz for providing his seance services! thank you dr. katz!

this week's three killer hosts go squatching (they watch the 2005 film "sasquatch hunters" directed by fred temper). though inter-species voyeurism is brought up, this episode is a lot less dirty than the last one (a discussion of georges bataille's book on eroticism did not make the final cut). big features of this episode include two guest cameos, two new copyright free transition sequences, and some major discoveries.

in our premiere episode, the hosts peter, bjorn, and john discuss a 1994 softcore film called "dinosaur island" produced by roger corman. it's a 40 minute bumble through a film you probably will never see because the dvd was a limited edition. topics of discussion include virgin sacrifice, bisexual lighting, and the orgiastic fantasies of joe pesci.