Relationship Dish

We are on a much needed break between seasons 4 and 5.   We leave you with a 5 min reminder tip to stay open and vulnerable in your relationship with your loved one and with the important people in your life.

We are on a much needed break between seasons 4 and 5.   We leave you with a 5 min reminder tip to stay open and vulnerable in your relationship with your loved one and with the important people in your life.

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about narcissism.    Iona gets a rude awakening about how she’s behaved in her relationship and this starts a conversation about people with narcissistic tendencies.   Pam weighs in on her experiences and together they dive into some interesting and enlightening literature on the subject.

Listen in this week for part 2 of our interview with therapist Alistair Moes, as he shares his knowledge about men, their feelings and their relationships. Alistair has run anger management workshops for both men and women for over 25 years  and has much to teach us about men and their feelings.

Listen in this week for part 1 of an interview where the therapists talk with Alistair- a therapist and colleague who’s worked for years specifically with men and their anger issues. Learn how the men in his practice have learned to deal with their anger and their needs in relationships and where their issues originally stemmed from. If you’ve struggled with anger in your life, don’t miss parts 1 and 2 of this fascinating interview.

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about The Withdrawer. Behind every good pursuer is a good distancer. Iona is married to one and Pam is one, so its a charged topic. Learn how they each cope in their own marriages and learn what it is that the withdrawer is truly feeling underneath the cool exterior. It'll surprise you how much is under there. Also, learn what the distancer really longs for and how the pursuer can give it to them, if they don't retreat into withdrawal. Understand your stance in the cycle so you can get what you need from your partner and from your relationship.

We would like to wish you a very Happy Valentines Day from us at Relationship Dish. Love the one you're with, and most importantly love yourself to help love others more. Iona and Pam

This week the therapists dish and dive about the pursuer position in the cycle. Iona is a pursuer and Pam is married to one, so there is plenty of fodder to go around! Learn what the pursuer really needs, feels and longs for and how their stance can sabotage themselves and their partner. The more I pursue, the more you withdraw!   Learn how to break out of this conflict, voice what you need and get what you need from your partner.

Listen in this week as Iona and Pam dish and dive about growing apart from their partners. It can happen to the best of us but how do we know if it’s just a phase or something more permanent? Pam and Iona weigh in on their own experiences and learn how to tell the difference and how to stop the disconnection dead in its tracks.

As a special treat to celebrate our recent 100th episode, this week the therapists interview Eric, Pam’s husband, to find out what impact the podcast has had on him, the relationship and Pam. We learn what’s changed for Eric as a result of his partner’s podcast journey and how their relationship has grown over the past 2 years. We also hear what’s remained the same and what Eric’s learned about himself through the eyes of the podcast. Finally, listeners get to hear from the other side!

Listener pick! Just in time for cold and flu season... Listen in this week as the therapists discuss hypochondria. Ever worry if the headache you have is really a tumour? Or if the cough you have is more nefarious than you think? Many of us, of course,  wonder from time to time, but to obsess constantly about these long shots is the pain of hypochondria.    Pam and Iona discuss how it has personally touched their lives and the lives of those they care about. Learn what it is and how to manage it if you suffer and how to help someone you love get through it! It can be a tricky one to treat, but, there is help and recovery as you’ll find out.

Listen in this week as the therapists dish about healthy guilt. Is that a thing? You betcha! Sometimes feeling healthy guilt is really useful. Pam and Iona dish about their healthy guilt and the fallout they’ve experienced of not truly feeling it. Dive into the literature about healthy guilt and learn its vital role in our lives, if we’ll accept it!

Happy new year! What better way to start 2020 than with learning how to regulate your emotions so that you can maintain your relationships!  Listen in as the therapists dish about their own struggles with discharging emotions in their relationships and the damage it’s done.   Then learn what the literature says about the window of tolerance and  how to keep ourselves within it so we can stay true to our own emotions while keeping the connection with our partners. A juggling act and a fine balance! 

Happy New Year and Happy Holidays, Here is a replay of one of our favourite episodes, Falling in Love. Sometimes we have to do away with the image we create  of our partner, so we can meet and fall in love with who this person really is. They learn that this is not a selfish thing, that another person is not out on this earth to fill all of our fantasies, but rather to be loved for who they truly are. Listen in and decide if you’re willing to fall in love with the actual person you’re with,  instead of the fantasy of what this person can offer you. 

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, Here is a replay of one of our favourite episodes. The Critic. This week the therapists dish and dive about that critical voice in their heads, their inner critics. They look at where they come from and  how we can learn to manage them so they don’t take over our lives. Listen in and learn how to beat those negative voices! 

This week the therapists continue their interview with a couple who are beating the odds! Typically divorce rates for second marriages are even higher than for firsts. But not for this couple!  Listen in and learn how they've persevered against toxic ex partners, blended families and outside responsibilities to keep and nurture the love they found with each other the second time around.  Our final in a special 2 part episode.

This week the therapists interview a couple who are beating the odds! Typically divorce rates for second marriages are even higher than for firsts. But not for this couple!  Listen in and learn how they've persevered against toxic ex partners, blended families and outside responsibilities to keep and nurture the love they found with each other the second time around. 

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about adult growth and development. Why is it that so many adults believe that once you’re of drinking age, that you’re done developing? Adults must continue to grow and mature until death or else stagnation ensues! Learn how to grow and mature in your adult years so you can have the best possible relationships with self and others!

Listen in this week as the therapists conclude their conversation with the single ladies. Learn from them how to have a happy and full filling life, with or without a partner and understand how they find joy and meaning in their day to day lives.

Listen in this week as the therapists talk with two single women about their lives and loves. Learn how they thrive in a “couples’ world” and understand where and how they find meaning in their lives. What relationships matter most to them? What fulfills them? What teaches them about themselves? Part 2 will continue next week. Don’t miss it! 

This week the therapists dish and dive about the low level forces that can compete with intimacy. They look at their own relationship struggles and learn how things like pride, the search  for objective truth and power struggling can arm wrestle with the intimacy you share with your partner. Learn how to spot and conquer these forces before they damage your relationship. 

This week the therapists dish and dive about Seasonal Affective Disorder aka SAD.  With the fall time change upon us, many of us struggle with having less daylight hours. Pam and Iona weigh in on the issue of seasonal depression and come up with some great preventative measures to keep you from feeling down during the darkest months of the year.

This week the therapists dish and dive about getting blindsided; when the universe throws you a curveball.   Iona weighs in on her recent experience of being knocked off her feet with unexpected bad news and realizes how excessive worry does not protect her or control any further reverberations. Pam weighs in on some of the curveballs that life’s thrown at her, and looks at how she’s navigated through without actually dealing with her feelings. They dive into the literature about how to deal with the unexpected in a healthier and more productive manner. Life throws us curveballs, learn how to deal!

This week the therapists weigh in on their relationships with their mothers....cue scary music! They wonder how they’re like them, different from them and how they’ve been generally influenced by their mothers.  They then dive into the literature on the mother daughter relationship to determine if they are destined and predisposed to become their mothers, or if they can live and mother as they choose. 

Listen in this week as the therapists answer a listener’s question: How do you know when to leave a relationship? Pam and Iona discuss the reasons for having left or stayed in their own relationships through the years, then dive into some literature that can help guide the decision whether to stay or to go.

This week, as a special thanksgiving episode, the therapists dish and dive about loneliness. Pam and Iona discuss the difference between being alone and being lonely and reminisce about times in their lives when they’ve felt lonely. They dive into the literature and learn that there’s a difference between being  alone and feeling lonely. They’re not the same! Listen in and learn.

This week Pam and Iona weigh in on dreams. Listen in as they share some of the more exciting, reoccurring  and cryptic dreams they’ve had over the years. Then they dive into the literature about dreams and share some of the most interesting psychological ways to interpret dreams. Do dreams really come from the unconscious, bringing with them valuable insight into our psyches, or are they just random, meaningless movies we get to watch while we sleep? Listen in and learn! 

This week the therapists dish and dive about couples counselling. Both of them have attended and benefitted from couples counselling over the years but also understand that sadly, it can be quite stigmatized in our society. They dive into the literature and understand why it’s been such a stigma, both socially and culturally, and offer some ideas to help you get over these obstacles so that you can have your best and most loving relationship.

This week the therapists dish and dive about some of  the impulses they have and what they do with them. It seems that  both therapists have some pretty dark impulses in their relationships and aren’t always sure how to proceed. As they dive into the literature, they learn why these  impulses are both useful and informative. Learn how to work with your impulses in a safe and productive way.

This week the therapists dish on the kindness of strangers as they remember the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. Within the darkness that unfolded, there were many stories of human connection, vulnerability and love. One particular story is the Gander, Newfoundland story in which a small town opened their hearts, resources  and wallets to almost 7,000 stranded passengers from around the world. Listen  in and learn why those acts of kindness have both emotional and physical benefits for us all and what can get in the way. Love even when it’s foolish to do so.

It’s back to school time and this week the therapists dish and dive about the anxiety they experience around this time of year. Why, even as adults, do we experience back to school jitters and anxiety? Well, the literature shows that we’re not alone. Listen in and learn how you can ride through the early days of September with less anxiety and more joy! 

This week the therapists look at how and why we get more stuck in our negative emotions and experiences than in our positive ones. Pam and Iona both have a tendency toward negative bias- recalling and ruminating about negative experiences more so than the joyful ones. Through their dive into the literature, they learn why this is adaptive yet shortsighted and unbalanced. Listen in and learn how you can have a more joyful life. 

Listen in this week as the therapists wonder if therapy is helpful after all. They discuss the different types of therapy models out there and determine just how useful each one is. Listen in so you can make informed choices about your own therapy! 

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about over functioning.   Pam and Iona both learned to over function to control and distract themselves from chaotic situations in their lives. They discuss the price of over functioning and the toll it can take on your life.   Learn how to recognize over functioning as a coping mechanism in your own life before you burn out! 

This week the therapists dish and dive about jealousy. Iona’s had an episode of feeling very jealous, which catches her off guard. Pam weighs in on how those ugly feelings have raised their head repeatedly throughout her relationship as well. Listen in as they dive into the literature about the function of jealousy and learn how to reign in that wild beast. 

This week the therapists finish their discussion about trauma with a dive into the literature about trauma. We learn about the different types of trauma, how it develops and how to treat it. Not all trauma is created equal and the more you know, the more you can do to manage, move past and even grow from the trauma in your own life.

This week the therapists dish extensively about their own experience with trauma and the ongoing impact these traumas have had on their lives. There is no dive this week folks, just juicy dishing! Stay tuned for next week’s dive into the trauma literature. Season 4 is here, and it's going to be great! Iona and Pam

Season 4 is here, and it's going to be great! Join us on a new season where we Dish and Dive on topics sure to peak your interest. Iona and Pam

Hi listeners, we're still on our break between season 3 and 4 but in the meantime we're going to leave you with a quick appetizer today.  Try treating your partner as you would treat your client, and see your relationship as something alive and ongoing.  We will be back next week to launch season 4 on July 24th with new exciting episodes that are sure to give you the dish you are looking for in your relationship. Iona & Pam, Relationship Dish

Here is a quick little 1 minute Appetizer for you about The balance and courage to stand alone. We're taking a 2 week break while preparing to launch season 4 and will return July 24th with new exciting episodes that are sure to give you the dish you are looking for in your relationship. Iona & Pam, Relationship Dish

This week the therapists weigh in on the issue of addiction, in its many forms. Listen in as they discuss their own addictions and the addictions of their family members and friends. Dive into the literature with them as they navigate through the various diagnostic and treatment models to find the right one for you. 

This week the therapists dish and dive about affairs and infidelity. Listen in as they dish about their own experiences with infidelity and affairs (spoiler alert, it’s not pretty) and the impact they’ve had on their lives. Learn from the literature how to deal with it, get past it or get out of it if it happens to you!   

This week the therapists dish and dive about that critical voice in their heads, their inner critics. They look at where they come from and  how we can learn to manage them so they don’t take over our lives. Listen in and learn how to beat those negative voices! 

It’s Fathers Day and This week the therapists dish and dive about fathers! They look at the fathers of their own children and compare them to their own fathers, they dive about the importance of fathers and how a good relationship with father actually helps kids thrive all throughout life.    

This week the therapists dish and dive about enmeshment. They wonder if they are at times, enmeshed with their partners. Listen in as they dish about their own issues and explain what enmeshment  is and how to deal with it so it doesn’t run your life! 

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about seeing themselves in their partners.   They realize that many things that trigger them about their partners are the very things that trigger them about themselves. Being in a relationship is like standing in front of a mirror 24/7 and when that mirror feels like one of those “fun house” mirrors, well,  it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

Listen in this week as the therapists conclude their interview with two women who are pros at making their marriage work. Learn about what’s challenged them over the years and how they’ve learned to overcome these challenges and continue to grow together. They are inspirational to us. Learn from the masters!

Listen in this week as the therapists offer yet  another side dish! This time, they interview two women who, despite big obstacles, have managed to create and maintain an incredibly happy and healthy relationship.  Listen in to part 1 and find out which obstacles they faced and how they navigated them together. They are truly masters at their relationship and have much to teach us all. Next week we will conclude the interview with part 2. 

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about the difference between shame and guilt. Both therapists recall events from their family of origin when guilt bled into shame. Instead of feeling guilty for a bad behaviour, they ended up feeling shamed for who they were. Learn the differences between guilt and shame so you can more easily and cleanly heal and repair in your own life. 

Listen in this week as the therapists dish and dive about the deals they make with the devil. It turns out they tell themselves some pretty interesting stories about the things they have to do to feel safe and to keep horrible things from happening to them and theirs! Who knew they had such power! Anyone else seek guarantees that nothing bad will befall them? What  are you willing to do to ensure it? Listen in and learn about the deals we’ve made in exchange for control! 

The therapists continue to dish and dive in this two part series about depression. They continue discussing how depression has impacted their own lives and the lives of their family and friends. They then dive into the literature and share the most current research into treatment options for this painful and often misdiagnosed mental illness. There is hope! Treatment saves lives! Listen to part 1 here