Podcast appearances and mentions of John Gottman

It’s the parenting trend everyone’s talking about — and it might be doing more harm than good. “FAFO parenting” (mess around and find out) is being framed as the antidote to gentle parenting. Tougher. Harder. No-nonsense. Let kids face the consequences and toughen up. But here’s the problem: when parenting swings from one extreme to another, kids don’t get stronger — they get disconnected. In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson unpacks where FAFO parenting came from, why it’s exploding across media in the UK, US and Australia, and what it reveals about our cultural moment. Most importantly, he explains why harsh, hands-off “let them learn the hard way” parenting quietly erodes the very thing children need most: security and connection. If you’re feeling burnt out, frustrated, or tempted to go hardline — listen before you do. KEY POINTS FAFO parenting is a backlash against years of gentle, emotion-focused parenting influenced by thinkers like John Gottman. Parenting trends swing like pendulums — but extremes rarely serve children well. “Mess around and find out” often carries an implicit threat and emotional withdrawal. There’s a difference between natural consequences and punitive, emotionally distant parenting. Children need security, predictability, and autonomy support — not harsh detachment. Connection builds resilience. Disconnection breeds defiance or insecurity. You can hold firm boundaries without being cold or cruel. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “FAFO breaks the connection. And connection is the heart of what makes families tick.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child – John Gottman Parenting ADHD Course – happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Pause before you punish. Ask: Am I teaching — or reacting? Use natural consequences wisely. Stay warm and present while holding the boundary. Make rules collaboratively where possible. Autonomy increases buy-in. Separate emotions from behaviour. Validate feelings, guide choices. Protect the relationship first. Correction works best when connection is strong. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Get Psyched, Lindsey connects her (slightly mischievous) love of embarrassment to one of the most influential relationship research programs of all time: the Love Lab led by John Gottman.Inside the famed Love Lab at the University of Washington, couples were observed to uncover what actually predicts long-term relationship success. The biggest predictor? Not grand gestures. Not passion. Not compatibility quizzes.It was how partners responded to bids for connection.Today the gals explore:

It's Lisa Bilyeu here with another episode of Women of Impact and this one is FILLED with science-backed methods that will help you have a stronger, healthier relationship with your partner!  Today we are joined by the world's leading relationship scientists, Dr. John Gottman & Dr. Julie Gottman. Together they have more than 50 years researching couples and relationship health, and they have SOOOO much information to share if you want to build a strong, long-lasting relationship! In this episode, we're diving into: - The signs that all but guarantee your relationship won't last, AND what you can do before it's too late - Why you MUST go deep into the conflict to truly understand why you're fighting - How to fight right and keep it from getting out of control with their “Repair checklist” - Ways you and your partner can come together and find solutions or compromise  - The 5 steps to ACTUALLY heal an emotional injury in your relationship - Why cheating is a symptom of a problem in your relationship, and not the CAUSE of the problems - How contempt in a relationship can lead to physical illness  - And soooo much more!   The Gottmans are dedicated to helping couples repair and strengthen their relationship, and their research has truly been revolutionary and unmatched! From fighting, to cheating, to sex and SOOOO much more, in this episode, you're getting a research-based MASTERCLASS on strengthening relationships.  Be sure to get a copy of “Fight Right” here: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/Fight-Right-Successful-Conflict-Connection/dp/0593579658⁠  Follow The Gottmans: Website: ⁠https://www.gottman.com/⁠ For Couples: ⁠https://gottmanconnect.com/⁠  Order Your Copy of “Fight Right”: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/Fight-Right-Successful-Conflict-Connection/dp/0593579658⁠  Follow Me, Lisa Bilyeu:  Website: https://www.radicalconfidence.com/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisabilyeu  X: https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Lisa Bilyeu here with another episode of Women of Impact and this one is FILLED with science-backed methods that will help you have a stronger, healthier relationship with your partner!  Today we are joined by the world's leading relationship scientists, Dr. John Gottman & Dr. Julie Gottman. Together they have more than 50 years researching couples and relationship health, and they have SOOOO much information to share if you want to build a strong, long-lasting relationship! In this episode, we're diving into: - The signs that all but guarantee your relationship won't last, AND what you can do before it's too late - Why you MUST go deep into the conflict to truly understand why you're fighting - How to fight right and keep it from getting out of control with their “Repair checklist” - Ways you and your partner can come together and find solutions or compromise  - The 5 steps to ACTUALLY heal an emotional injury in your relationship - Why cheating is a symptom of a problem in your relationship, and not the CAUSE of the problems - How contempt in a relationship can lead to physical illness  - And soooo much more!   The Gottmans are dedicated to helping couples repair and strengthen their relationship, and their research has truly been revolutionary and unmatched! From fighting, to cheating, to sex and SOOOO much more, in this episode, you're getting a research-based MASTERCLASS on strengthening relationships.  Be sure to get a copy of “Fight Right” here: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/Fight-Right-Successful-Conflict-Connection/dp/0593579658⁠  Follow The Gottmans: Website: ⁠https://www.gottman.com/⁠ For Couples: ⁠https://gottmanconnect.com/⁠  Order Your Copy of “Fight Right”: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/Fight-Right-Successful-Conflict-Connection/dp/0593579658⁠  Follow Me, Lisa Bilyeu:  Website: https://www.radicalconfidence.com/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lisabilyeu/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisabilyeu  X: https://twitter.com/lisabilyeu  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

John Gottman, en av de mest anerkjente forskerne på relasjoner, har gjennom flere tiår studert hva som skaper og opprettholder sterke bånd mellom mennesker. Hans forskning har gitt innsikt i dynamikken bak varige vennskap, romantiske forhold, samarbeid mellom kollegaer og familierelasjoner. En av de mest sentrale innsiktene fra hans arbeid er betydningen av "bud" i mellommenneskelig interaksjon, samt de fire destruktive kommunikasjonsmønstrene han kaller de "fire apokalyptiske rytterne». Velkommen til en relasjonell episode av SinnSyn.Vil du ha mer psykologi og flere dypdykk i menneskets sjelsliv?Vil du har en praksis for selvutvikling og hjelp til å dykke ned i ditt eget indre liv?Da kan BeBalanced.ai være noe for deg! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Conflictele în relații pot fi constructive sau distructive, diferența vine din cum le abordăm. Gáspár György ne explică de ce certurile sunt inevitabile și cum le putem transforma în oportunități de creștere.Gáspár György este psiholog clinician, psihoterapeut de cuplu și autorul a șase cărți, între care și Când Conflictul Are Sens. Co-fondator al comunității Pagina de Psihologie și al Academiei de Terapie Imago din România, Gáspár folosește metoda Gottman în munca sa și este una dintre cele mai cunoscute voci care promovează sănătatea relațională în spațiul public din România.Acesta este al doilea episod dintr-un sezon dedicat relațiilor, realizat împreună cu Pagina de Psihologie. Astăzi explorăm:Miturile despre conflicte care ne sabotează relațiileGândirea liniară vs. circulară în conversații dificileCei 6 călăreți ai apocalipsei relaționale (critică, defensivitate, dispreț, împietrire, control, beligeranță)Antidoturile pentru fiecare comportament distructivCum să rămâi curios când emoțiile se intensificăDualitatea particulă-undă aplicată în relațiiResurse menționate în conversație:Cartea "Când conflictul are sens" de Gáspár György Cartea "Rising Strong" de Brené BrownCercetările lui John și Julie Gottman despre Știința RelațiilorInstrumente: Carduri de replici pentru conflicte în cuplu - Instrumente: Carduri de replici pentru conflicte părinte-adolescentIntră live alături de noi în înregistrarea episoadelor și primește răspunsuri la ce te interesează cel mai mult. Vino în Comunitatea Membrilor Mind Architect Acest episod este produs și distribuit cu susținerea PPC România. "(00:00) Introducere""(04:17) Mituri despre conflicte""(07:14) John Gottman și Terapia Imago despre conflicte în relații""(08:51) Bagajul emoțional din copilărie și conflictele""(10:06) Conflictul ca mijloc spre o formă mai bună de a fi împreună""(13:33) Perspectivele diferite și sistemul nervos""(15:44) Conflictele ca semn de vitalitate și potențial""(17:04) Emoțiile neexprimate: semn că avem conversații de purtat""(18:51) Lisa Feldman Barrett și bugetul de energie în conversații dificile""(21:16) Cum să rămâi curios când ți se apasă butoane emoționale""(23:34) Permisiunea de a greși și importanța reparării pagubelor""(26:29) Mitul despre a nu te culca supărat""(29:14) După conflict, între reconectare și nevoia de spațiu""(31:06) Strategii similare, nevoi diferite în conflict""(34:34) Exemplu Gáspár: Escaladare și reparare cu un coleg""(38:14) Strategii diferite de reconciliere: vorbim sau îngropăm?""(41:42) Dualitatea particulă-undă aplicată în relații""(44:16) Starea de undă cu energie negativă vs. colapsul în particulă""(47:44) Decizii luate din stare activată: mai bine singur""(54:35) Gândirea liniară vs. circulară în conflicte""(57:10) Subiectivitatea minții: amândoi putem avea dreptate""(01:00:00) Co-creația: cum contribuim fiecare la escaladare""(01:03:52) Exemplu: Cum nu-i dăm partenerului ocazia să contribuie""(01:06:53) Etichetele în relații și cum ne limitează ele""(01:12:07) Ce facem când celălalt minimizează și evită""(01:19:08) Echilibrul între grijă și hiper-responsabilizare""(01:23:37) Cleaning the air: Tensiunea nevorbită erodează relația""(01:29:33) Umorul în conflicte: când ajută și când rănește""(01:34:13) Cei 6 călăreți ai apocalipsei relaționale (Gottman)""(01:35:51) Critica - atacul la persoană""(01:37:41) Disprețul și Defensivitatea""(01:39:51) Împietrirea, Controlul și Beligeranța""(01:43:23) Antidot Critică: exprimarea emoțiilor și nevoilor""(01:46:29) Antidot Defensivitate: asumarea responsabilității""(01:49:32) Asumare autentică vs. Îmi pare rău""(01:54:38) Antidot Dispreț: aprecierea și admirația""(01:56:38) Antidot Împietrire: autoreglare emoțională""(01:58:41) Antidot Control: flexibilitate și pornire lină""(02:03:46) Antidot Beligeranță: ramura de măslin""(02:04:31) Poziționare în conflict copil - celălalt părinte""(02:08:25) Carduri cu replici pentru conflicte"

GET FREE HANDOUT to accompany this episode HERE:Resentment from unequal decisions? One person dominating finances, parenting, or chores? In this episode, Sharla and Robert explain how to create a "system of governance" in your marriage—drawing from John Gottman's "accepting influence" and Stan Tatkin's shared leadership—to end power struggles, restore parity, and protect your “couple bubble.”Hear real couple stories, our own early parenting struggles, a list of 10 key principles to start your governance system, and a deep dive on "guardrails"—in-moment reminders that interrupt harmful patterns before they escalate.This is how you lead each other without chaos or hurt.Key TakeawaysGovernance isn't control—it's a shared constitution for decisions, influence, and implementing principles.Accepting influence (Gottman) means blending strengths—couples who do this are far more likely to thrive.Build principles like "We shield each other from harm" that you both defend selfishly.Guardrails: In-moment reminders (e.g., "Remember our agreement?") interrupt harmful autopilot behaviors before fights escalate.No system = power struggles and resentment; good governance + guardrails = allies and a strong bubble.ResourcesThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman – Gold standard for influence and conflict.Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin – Deep dive on shared leadership.In Each Other's Care by Stan Tatkin – Modern habits for governance.Up Next WeekKeeping each other safe through partner soothingIf this helped you spot a power imbalance, follow, comment, and share! Put each other first this week. ❤️Get in TouchWebsite: MasterYourMarriage.usInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/masteryourmarriageFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/MasterYourMarriage/

 This week on The Worth Loving Podcast, we're diving into a topic that so many people struggle with but rarely talk about honestly: the difference between emotional intimacy and physical intimacy, and which one actually creates deeper, healthier, more secure bonds.In this warm, trauma‑informed episode, Keana breaks down how emotional intimacy develops, why physical intimacy can feel bonding even when the relationship isn't emotionally safe, and how your past experiences shape the way you connect. We explore what real intimacy looks like, why pacing matters, and how to build relationships that feel steady instead of chaotic.This episode is grounded in research from leading psychologists like Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. John Gottman, and attachment theory scholars all woven into a relatable, compassionate conversation that helps you understand your patterns without shame.✨ What You'll Learn in This Episode1. What Emotional Intimacy Really IsHow emotional intimacy develops slowly through trust, safety, and vulnerabilityWhy emotional responsiveness is the strongest predictor of long‑term relationship successHow trauma histories impact your ability to open up2. What Physical Intimacy Actually DoesWhy physical closeness can feel bonding even when the relationship isn't healthyHow oxytocin and nervous system responses create emotional confusionWhy physical intimacy can become a shortcut to closeness3. Which One Builds Stronger BondsWhy emotional intimacy is the foundation of secure relationshipsHow physical intimacy enhances connection only when emotional intimacy is presentWhat research reveals about long‑term relationship stability4. Why We Often Prioritize Physical Intimacy FirstCultural conditioningFear of vulnerabilityTrauma responses and attachment patternsWhy physical intimacy can feel easier than emotional intimacy5. How to Build Emotional Intimacy FirstPractical, trauma‑informed steps for creating emotional safetyHow to pace connection in a way that honors your nervous systemWhat mutual emotional intimacy looks like in real time6. Red Flags & Green FlagsSigns that emotional intimacy is missingSigns that emotional safety is presentHow to recognize when a relationship is grounded vs. unstable

In this week's episode of the All About Marriage series, Larry sits down with therapist Teresa Haskins to have an honest and compassionate conversation about life after an affair. This is a tender and potentially challenging topic, and Teresa encourages listeners to care for themselves as they engage with it.They explore the two primary types of affairs, emotional and physical. Emotional affairs often involve secrecy, deep emotional attachment, and misplaced vulnerability, even if there is no physical intimacy. Physical affairs can take many forms, from one-night encounters to workplace dynamics or patterns connected to addiction. In both cases, the betrayal and secrecy are often the most painful parts to heal from.The conversation addresses what can lead to an affair, including unmet emotional needs, a desire for validation or excitement, poor communication, or personal struggles within the betrayer. Teresa emphasizes that infidelity is not always the result of something lacking in the marriage; sometimes it reflects unresolved issues within the individual.Larry and Teresa also discuss how affairs are discovered. Confession offers the best opportunity for rebuilding trust, while being caught can compound the trauma. From there, healing begins with what Teresa calls the “atonement stage”—a season of humility, transparency, accountability, and patience. Rebuilding trust requires consistent openness and often takes one to two years, sometimes longer.They highlight the importance of involving a trained third party early in the process to help both spouses navigate difficult conversations, avoid further harm, and move toward restoration in a healthy way.Recommended resources from this episode include Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass and What Makes Love Last? by John Gottman.If you or your spouse are navigating betrayal, you do not have to do it alone. Care to Change can provide the structure and support needed to begin healing and rebuilding trust.

Are you passive-aggressive when you argue? Do you slam cabinet doors instead of communicating? Is arguing a positive thing? Do you know what the Gottman Theory bird test is? Today on the One Life Radio Podcast Dr. DeWone Bennett and Bernadette Fiaschetti discuss six ways to navigate an argument better, and so much more! Dr. Bennett has over eighteen years of extensive training and experience working with children, adolescents, and adults.  He holds two master's degrees and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology.  Dr. DeWone is a Licensed Professional Counselor and author of the book series “The Playbook Series.” He also lights up the stage as a keynote speaker and corporate mental health and wellness trainer.Dr. Bennett has a diverse range of training and certifications as a Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (TF-CBT) EMDR and Gottman method as a couple's therapist. As well as a National Certified Counselor and Counseling Supervisor and a corporate EAP counselor and trainer.  Over the past 15 years he has focused his interest in personal development, on those struggling with emotional trauma, relationship issues, resiliency, and work-life balance. As the owner of a group private practice in the North Dallas area, Dr. Bennett continues to provide life-altering behavioral health services and consultations. You can find and learn more about Dr. DeWone Bennett on dbennettcounseling.com.Here are more episodes with DeWone Bennett:“Things I'm Seeing In My Practice” ‘Work Anxiety' - Ep. 3111Can Valentine's Day Expectations Harm Your Relationship? ep. 3081The Best and Worst Ways to Break Up #2093The Psychology of Tattoos #2073Managing Stress #2049What are we Swiping For? #3070The Bird Test Theory, You Tube, Dr. John Gottman

"Couples often ignore each other's emotional needs out of mindlessness, not malice." - Dr. John Gottman   Summary Let's take an honest look at how communication breaks down in busy marriages and what you can do to stop it. Most couples don't ignore each other out of malice, but out of exhaustion, distraction, and rushed daily life. In this episode, we unpack why communication is essential for growth and connection, and how unspoken assumptions quickly lead to misunderstandings. Drawing on Dr. John Gottman's research, we break down the Four Horsemen of Communication -  criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling, and explain how they quietly damage relationships. More importantly, we share practical antidotes to each one, along with simple habits and conversations you can start using right away to communicate more clearly, stay emotionally connected, and protect your marriage from drifting apart.   Key Takeaways Communication shapes your marriage every day. It's not the big conversations alone that matter, but the daily responses, tone, and small interactions. You cannot grow closer without communicating, and mind-reading is not a real skill, no matter how much we wish it were. Unspoken assumptions damage connection.  When couples don't communicate, they fill in the gaps with guesses, and those guesses are often wrong. What feels obvious to you may not be obvious to your spouse. If left unchecked, the Four Horsemen quietly erode relationships.  Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling are strong predictors of marital breakdown, but couples can recognize them early and recover when they're willing to change patterns. Most conflict starts inside us, not with our spouse.  Many reactions come from fear, stress, or unresolved issues rather than our spouse's actions. Growth begins when we take ownership and speak from vulnerability instead of blame. Engaging imperfectly is better than withdrawing.  Respect, appreciation, and choosing to stay engaged, even awkwardly, protect connection. Healthy communication requires effort, humility, and the daily choice to turn toward each other.   Couple Discussion Questions Which of the Four Horsemen are threatening our relationship right now?  How would you rate our communication on a scale of 1-10?  What can we do to improve this? Resources Guide to Communication: https://messyfamilyproject.org/guide/communication/ Explanation of the Four Horsemen: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/  

Elisabeth Abouelkheir (Missy) shares practical insights on navigating conflict within marriage, emphasizing that the purpose of marriage is sanctification rather than mere happiness. Drawing from her 32 years of marriage experience, she explains why conflict is inevitable due to individual differences and how it can be productive when handled with respect. Missy discusses Dr. John Gottman's "Four Horsemen"—criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling—and how these behaviors predict marital outcomes. She offers guidance on creating plans for respectful communication, using I-statements, and managing emotions to prevent escalation. She highlights the importance of vulnerability, appreciation, and taking responsibility while addressing feelings without blame. Through real-life scenarios and audience interaction, Missy underscores the need for couples to build understanding, avoid hurtful patterns, and seek reconciliation. The talk concludes with practical strategies to improve conflict resolution and strengthen marital unity in the Orthodox Christian context. Subscribe to us on YouTube https://youtube.com/stpaulhouston Like us on Facebook https://facebook.com/saintpaulhouston Follow us on SoundCloud https://soundcloud.com/stpaulhouston Follow us on Instagram https://instagram.com/stpaulhouston Visit our website for schedules and to join the mailing list https://stpaulhouston.org

Hey friends- keeping it real here: I have caught the sickness my kids had last week and my voice is barely holding on. But, I didn't want to leave you hanging because consistency matters to me. I went back into the archives and pulled this specific conversation because, I believe it is the one message we all need to hear right now. If you are feeling stuck, frustrated, or like you're constantly battling your spouse, this is for you. Hopefully, I'll be back next week, fully rested and ready to roll!Episode Summary: Are you exhausted from arguing in circles? We're stripping away pride to talk about the one ingredient thriving marriages have: Humility. True humility isn't thinking less of yourself; it's thinking of yourself less.We explore why ego kills intimacy, how to "accept influence," and why being "right" makes you lonely. I share a vulnerable story from my own reconciliation where a coach asked the toughest question: "What was your part in this?" In This Episode:Strength vs. Weakness: Why admitting you're wrong is a power move.The "Let Them" Theory: Stop controlling your partner's thoughts.Accepting Influence: Deferring to each other's strengths.The "My Part" Challenge: Owning your role in conflict.Argue with Humility: Using "I" statements and validating without agreeing.The 5-Finger Apology: Kill resentment before it takes root.

New Year, New Intentions: Doing More of What You LoveHappy New Year, everyone! It's the beginning of 2026, and as we look ahead, I have a big question for you: What is it that you really love to do that you just haven't been doing enough of lately? In this episode, I'm inviting you to join me on a mission to bring more joy, simplicity, and open space into your life. We talk about why we often fill our calendars until there's no room left for ourselves, and why I've started scheduling everything from my naps to walks with my husband and dog.We also dive deep into the habits that build happy, lasting relationships. I share some powerful research from John Gottman about celebrating wins and expressing gratitude , and I tackle a phrase I hear way too often: "I don't want to be a nurse or a purse." I'll tell you exactly why that mindset might be the very thing keeping you single and how to shift toward a more generous, giving heart.In this episode, we'll explore:The Blessing of Simplicity: How I'm using AI to simplify my kitchen and my life.Breaking the "Nurse or Purse" Habit: Why this phrase is a total turnoff to quality men and how to actually handle financial and health expectations.Mastering the Closeness Loop: Learning the difference between reacting and truly responding with empathy.The Art of the "Lasso": Tips for women on being easy to schedule with and for men on developing patience.Secure Attachment: How to practice warmth and reliability so your partner feels safe with you.Whether you're a "Golden Bachelor" or re-entering the dating scene after a gray divorce, let's make this the year you move from "me" to "we" by being the healthiest, happiest version of yourself.#CupidsCoach #JulieFerman #NewYearIntentions #DatingAdvice #RelationshipGoals #GottmanMethod #DatingAfter50 #TransformMeToWe

Aujourd'hui, j'explore avec vous une question souvent posée mais rarement approfondie : y a-t-il vraiment un secret des couples qui durent ? À travers mes expériences de médiatrice, de négociatrice et mes lectures sur les relations (notamment le livre « Fight Right » de Julie et John Gottman) je vous partage mes observations sur ce qui fait qu'un couple reste vivant, et sur ce qui, parfois, l'endort doucement.Je raconte comment, bien au-delà des apparences, de nombreux couples deviennent au fil du temps plus des colocataires que des partenaires. On évoque ce moment où la routine prend le dessus, où les conversations deviennent logistiques, et où peu à peu, le lien s'étiole si l'on n'y prend pas garde. J'aborde les différentes dynamiques relationnelles, la gestion des conflits, l'importance de la réparation du lien, et ce fameux ratio d'interactions positives à maintenir.Je vous propose aussi deux exercices concrets pour sortir de l'immobilisme et nourrir une vraie dynamique dans votre couple : des questions pour vous inviter à l'auto-réflexion et un exercice tiré de la PNL pour ressentir où vous en êtes et où vous aimeriez aller ensemble.Pour moi, il n'y a pas de recette magique, seulement le courage d'évoluer, parfois de traverser l'inconfort, et de continuer à se rencontrer vraiment. Un couple qui dure, ce n'est pas un couple sans tensions, mais un couple capable de se transformer ensemble.J'espère que cet épisode vous inspirera et vous guidera, où que vous en soyez dans votre parcours relationnel. Bonne écoute !

What if one of the best-performing investments over the last few decades wasn't stocks, real estate, or gold — but LEGO? It sounds absurd, yet when researchers tracked the resale value of LEGO sets, they found returns that beat many traditional investments. We begin by looking at which sets gain value, why they do, and what makes some toys unexpectedly valuable. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0275531921001604 Life rarely goes according to plan. Careers shift, relationships change, health issues arise, and unexpected events force us to adapt — often before we feel ready. Since change is unavoidable, the real question becomes: how do you respond when life throws you off course? Maya Shankar joins me with powerful insights on navigating uncertainty and finding meaning when plans fall apart. Maya is a cognitive scientist, former senior advisor in the Obama White House, Senior Director of Behavioral Economics at Google, host of A Slight Change of Plans, and author of The Other Side of Change: Who We Become When Life Makes Other Plans (https://amzn.to/4qAad5U) Time is one of the few constants in life — yet our experience of it is anything but constant. Why does time seem to fly on vacation but crawl in traffic? Why do many people feel that time speeds up as they get older? And what is time, really? Sten Odenwald helps untangle these questions. He's a longtime astronomer, Director of NASA's STEM Resource Development Project, and author of The Essential Book of Time (https://amzn.to/3N6qNfm). And finally, legendary relationship researcher John Gottman says long-term relationships don't succeed because of romance, passion, or even communication skills alone. Instead, they hinge on just two essential qualities — and without them, relationships are likely doomed. Listen to find out what they are. https://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Highlighting the fact that humans spend 30% of their waking hours in conversation, McKay Christensen explores the often overlooked reality that talking is a skill rather than a mere natural instinct. He argues that like running or computer coding, conversation can be practiced, improved, and mastered to produce deeper influence and success. McKay uses Alison Brooks' "TALK" (Topics, Asking, Levity, Kindness) to show how conversation shapes our world. He also explores Brené Brown's focus on connection, Dr. Wendy Levinson's link between talk and malpractice claims, and John Gottman's marriage "bids." From NASA's planning to Terry Gross' questions, join McKay here today to learn why kindness drives success better than aptitude, and discover the mechanics of social interaction.Main Themes:Communication is a disciplined skill that can be refined through intentional practice and feedback.High-quality conversation can be a matter of life, death, or legal liability in high-stakes environments.Preparing a few small topics beforehand reduces anxiety and allows for more authentic engagement.Long-term relationship success depends on recognizing and responding to small "bids" for connection.Curious follow-up questions are the strongest predictors of trust and likability.Lightness and self-deprecating humor foster a safe dialogue environment and team resilience.Authentic kindness is a more powerful predictor of professional success than technical aptitude.Top 10 Quotes:"Conversation is at the heart of human experience.""Like running, computer coding, or speaking a second language, it can be practiced, improved, and mastered.""They had a better practice because they had better conversation skills.""Preparation frees your mind to listen and engage more authentically in the conversation.""Preparation doesn't make the conversation mechanical. It allows the human connection to flourish.""Asking demonstrates curiosity and attention. It signals, 'I hear you; I want to understand.'""Conversation is a rhythm, not a Q&A session.""Positive kindness heavily correlates to predicting a salesperson's success, even more than aptitude."Show Links:Open Your Eyes with McKay Christensen

¿Sabías que el 90% de cómo terminará una discusión se define en los primeros 3 minutos?

One of the fastest ways intimacy erodes in marriage is through assumption.We assume our spouse knows what we need.We assume they understand how we feel.We assume love means they should just “get it.”But marriage doesn't work on mind-reading as we have talked about before, it works on communication.When we assume things, we stop asking questions. And when we stop asking questions, we stop truly knowing our spouse. Over time, those assumptions turn into unmet expectations, and unmet expectations almost always lead to frustration, resentment, or emotional distance.Dr. John Gottman, one of the leading marriage researchers, talks about “bids for connection” the small moments where one spouse reaches out for attention, affection, or understanding. When those bids are ignored, often because of assumptions, couples slowly drift apart. Assumptions also damage sexual intimacy. When one spouse assumes rejection, disinterest, or “now's not a good time,” desire goes unspoken. Silence replaces vulnerability. And eventually, intimacy feels awkward or distant, not because love is gone, but because communication is.In this episode, Nick and Amy talk about how making assumptions or assuming things in marriage can crate a lot of disconnect and conflict.Healthy marriages don't assume. They ask.They clarify.They check in.They choose conversation over silence.Because love isn't proven by how well you guess, it's proven by how well you listen.If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HEREFollow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.*This episode was recorded and published a few years ago and we released it again.Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Episode Description: Kick off 2026 by decluttering your mind and marriage! In this episode, we explore how cluttered beliefs create misery in relationships and share 14 destructive marriage myths backed by research from experts like John Gottman, Murray Bowen, David Schnarch, and Carol Dweck. Learn healthier alternatives to foster deeper connection, reduce resentment, and build a fulfilling partnership. Perfect for couples seeking healthy relationship tips, toxic belief deconstruction, and marriage advice grounded in science.Keywords: toxic marriage beliefs, declutter your marriage, healthy relationship tips 2026, Gottman marriage research, Bowen family systems theory, Schnarch intimacy advice, Harvard happiness study relationships.The 14 Destructive Beliefs & Healthier Alternatives"My spouse should make me happy / complete me." Faulty due to external locus of control leading to lower satisfaction (Australian Study). Alternative: "My spouse is a companion in my happiness—I am responsible for my own emotional well-being.""If they really loved me, they'd know what I need without me saying it." Mind-reading expectations cause conflict (Mind-Reading Study; ResearchGate PDF). Alternative: "Love includes clear, kind communication about my needs and feelings.""A happy marriage means we never fight or have conflict." Gottman's research shows 69% of issues are perpetual (Gottman Institute). Alternative: "Conflict is an opportunity to understand each other better and grow closer through repair.""My partner should change to fix our problems." Satisfaction driven by perceptions, not partner change (PNAS Study). Alternative: "I can only change myself. Leading by example often invites positive shifts in my partner.""Disparate sexual desires mean we're incompatible." Normal in all relationships per Schnarch's "sexual crucible" (Crucible Institute; Psychology Today). Alternative: "Differences in desire are normal and offer growth opportunities.""Keeping score of who does more is fair and necessary." Breeds resentment; generosity boosts satisfaction (

Want to know how to stop arguing and fighting with your wife? Dr John Gottman says the common signs that mean your relationship is at high risk of ending are defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism or contempt. In this episode, I talk about the subtle ways in which both men and women shame each other when we're getting reactive and how to change this detrimental habit.In our coaching, we help men get a powerful new mindset that empowers you to give, love and connect more deeply because you're finally doing that within yourself first. This mindset allows empathy, trust and connection to happen because you're confident in who you're being. We teach skills and knowledge that nobody ever teaches men when we're younger. Skills and knowledge that make you feel confident and in control even when chaos is going on around you. It's amazing what you can achieve when you make yourself a priority. Most men don't.   They are too busy taking care of everyone else.  Too busy minding the store and making the money.   They are focused on the "outside game" of winning life. But their "inside game" of confidence and clarity is suffering badly. You can only improve your inside game with other men. We would love to help you become more calm, more strong emotionally and more confident and happy in who you are as a man. Come and join us, either through 1-on-1 coaching with my colleague Dan Dore or me, or in our group coaching program with other amazing men who are travelling the same path as you right now in our Men's Live Coaching Roundtable. There's an amazing tribe of guys in this group with us, supporting and helping each other through this process of growth and self realization. https://goodguys2greatmen.com/goodguys2greatmen-live-coaching-roundtable/ If you're facing possible divorce, we have an online course which is specifically for you - Defuse the Divorce Bomb: https://mojopolis.thinkific.com/courses/HDDB-preview?ref=a53950 What if this next year everything changed for you? That's what we want for you brother, We love teaching men these tools - how to be better, how to know who you are, what you stand for, what you want and how to CREATE it in your life through our Masculine Confidence coaching programs. Dan and I are here to guide you on this mission.https://goodguys2greatmen.com/mens-relationship-coaching/ Steve's book Straight Talk Tools for the Desperate Husband will help you to lead yourself and your relationship back to good health. Understand why your partner acts the way she does toward you and learn how to lead your life in the direction you want it to go. You CAN have the relationship you want, fulfilling all your desires while maintaining love and respect.https://goodguys2greatmen.com/straight-talk-tools-for-the-desperate-husband/ We also have a free e-book to help men learn how to lose their fear and be more bold in their marriage to create the love and connection they want. Get The Hard to Swallow Truth About Saving Your Marriage: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/ If you want to learn more about how to take a bigger step toward being a clear-headed, confident man of action, then find out more here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/mens-relationship-coaching/ We would be thrilled to help you get there - our first discovery call is always free and always gives you a BIG boost of confidence. You WILL become a clearer, stronger, more confident man only through other men. Your woman cannot take you there - and she doesn't WANT to...trust us on that. Sign up to receive our email newsletters for lots more free tips and advice here: https://archive.aweber.com/stevemain Subscribe to be notified whenever we upload a new video: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC13h36xaBvyTPVAES4-4rXw?sub_confirmation=1 You can watch all our videos here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/video-library/ Or read our blog articles here: https://goodguys2greatmen.com/blog/Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/goodguys2greatmen-podcast--4650431/support.

What if the secret to a stronger relationship is breaking the "rules" everyone says you should follow?In this paradigm-shifting conversation, renowned therapist Stephanie Yates-Anyabwile reveals why sleeping apart, living separately, and other unconventional choices might actually deepen your connection. Learn why preventative relationship work matters more than crisis management, how to navigate family resistance to unconventional choices, and why giving your partner "the benefit of the doubt" could transform your relationship.If you LOVED this episode, you'll also love the conversations we had with Julie and John Gottman about the science of lasting love and what makes relationships truly thrive.Check out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount Codes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

-----WHERE TO FOLLOW US----- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/bestbookbits/?sub_confirmation=1 Website: https://bestbookbits.com Audio: https://bestbookbits.podbean.com/ Strengthen your relationship one conversation at a time. In this video, we break down Eight Dates by world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman, revealing the 8 essential conversations every couple must have for long-term love, trust, and emotional connection. Whether you're dating, engaged, or married, this book provides practical, science-backed tools to build deeper intimacy and better communication. This summary highlights the core principles, big ideas, and relationship-changing exercises from the book. ⭐ What You'll Learn: The 8 must-have relationship conversations How to communicate your needs in a healthy way How to build trust, manage conflict & strengthen intimacy Why emotional connection is the foundation of lasting love Action steps you can apply right away If you found this summary helpful, don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe for more book summaries and personal development content!

Blended families bring together different histories, values, and emotional wounds into one household. While this journey can be complex, unity and respect are possible when families practice empathy, realistic expectations, and intentional habits. In this episode, Keana explores the challenges blended families face—conflicting parenting styles, loyalty binds, grief, and co-parenting dynamics—and offers practical strategies to build trust, connection, and healing.Drawing on research from psychologists like Anne Brennan Malec and relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, Keana shares how emotional intimacy serves as the glue that holds blended families together. You'll learn how respect, clarity, understanding, and empathy can transform family dynamics, and discover exercises designed to foster communication, gratitude, and trust.The episode also features the song Be There by Emory Rose, a powerful reminder that love means showing up with consistency and support.

What does it take to turn decades of clinical experience into a movement that reshapes therapy around the world? Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman joins Michael Fulwiler to share her personal and professional journey behind co-founding The Gottman Institute and co-developing the Gottman Method.Julie recounts the pivotal decisions that led her from private practice to co-creating a global clinical training business with her husband, Dr. John Gottman. She also opens up about growing up in a family shaped by generational trauma, navigating early challenges in the mental health field, and why she's always gravitated toward serving clients in deep pain.Tune in to learn how Julie balanced a mission-driven mindset with the realities of running a business, and why therapists should protect their values even as their practices grow.In the conversation, they discuss:Building a sustainable private practice rooted in serviceHow the Gottman Method evolved from research to widely taught clinical frameworkWhat every therapist needs to remember when navigating visibility and legacyConnect with the guest:The Gottman Institute on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gottmaninstitute/ The Gottman Institute on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-gottman-institute/ Visit The Gottman Institute website: https://www.gottman.com/ Connect with Michael and Heard:Michael's LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelfulwiler/ Newsletter: https://www.joinheard.com/newsletter Book a free consult: joinheard.com/consult Jump into the conversation:(00:00) Welcome to Heard Business School(00:25) Meet Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman(01:26) How generational trauma shaped Julie's early life(03:51) Childhood suicide attempt that changed her path(05:05) Visiting concentration camps and reclaiming Jewish identity(06:52) Creating a crisis hotline during the Vietnam War(13:09) Polio, pain, and finding empathy through suffering(15:21) Living in India and feeding street children(17:21) Journey from Kathmandu to grad school in 36 hours(22:15) Meeting John Gottman and instant recognition(28:41) Launching the Gottman Institute from a dining table(31:09) Developing the Gottman Method(35:53) Working 40 clinical hours while building a business(42:51) Upholding standards for the Gottman Referral Network(47:16) Facing constant sexism while building a global brand(52:39) Rapid-fire questions on legacy, joy, and hopeThis episode is to be used for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, business, or tax advice. Each person should consult their own attorney, business advisor, or tax advisor with respect to matters referenced in this episode.

In this heartfelt episode of the Music and Therapy Podcast, relationship coach Keana W. Mitchell explores the essential role of emotional intimacy in healthy relationships. Building on last week's episode, The Power of Apology and Forgiveness in Love, Keana explains how emotional safety, vulnerability, and trust are the foundation of lasting connection and how the absence of emotional intimacy can lead to loneliness, conflict, and emotional withdrawal.You'll learn what emotional intimacy truly means, why it's not a luxury but a necessity, and how to recognize when it's missing. Keana shares research by Dr. Sue Johnson and Dr. John Gottman, highlighting how emotional intimacy erodes when couples stop turning toward each other and ignore bids for connection.This episode also includes five Gottman-inspired healing exercises and two homework assignments designed to help you stop conflict and start connecting whether you're in a relationship or doing the inner work solo.

This week we're discussing The Truth We Don't Want to Face.  When betrayal, ongoing conflict, or a child's escalating behavior keeps reopening old wounds, it's easy to reduce people to their worst moments. That mindset feels protective, yet it shrinks our capacity for peace, models bitterness to our kids, and keeps us tethered to pain. Marissa Lee, author and single parent, joins Robert and Elizabeth to unpack how learning to separate a person's worth from their actions helps us heal, set clearer boundaries, and stay grounded in dignity—ours and theirs. Today, we cover three main points: Contempt dehumanizes. What contempt looks like, how it spreads in our homes and culture, and why it leaves relationships stuck. Compassion expands our capacity. How extending dignity to others softens the shame within us and frees our energy for what matters. Practical ways to see worth. Simple, repeatable steps to move from judgment to curiosity, from reactivity to agency, including naming our feelings, resetting expectations, and choosing actions that align with our values. Seeing someone's humanity isn't excusing harm—it's refusing to let contempt define you. Curiosity builds bridges; ask "why" before deciding "who" someone is. Your children feel how you speak about the other parent, and honoring their other parent protects your child's sense of self. Boundaries require agency—state what you will do and follow through. Resources Mentioned In This Episode The Gottman Institute – Research from Dr. John Gottman on how contempt is one of the strongest predictors of relationship breakdown. Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff – A book exploring how self-compassion can heal shame and foster emotional resilience. Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend – A guide to setting healthy limits that protect your peace and relationships. Dr. Becky at Good Inside – A parenting resource offering practical tools for setting structure, building connection, and guiding kids through emotional growth. We want to answer any Solo Parent questions you may have. Submit your listener questions HERE. Full Show Notes  Learn more about Solo Parent Follow us on Instagram  

In this episode of Asking For A Friend with TalkDoc, co-hosts Dr. Pamela Kreiser, Meredith Edwards Nagel, and Teighlor Polendo delve into the dynamics of introducing a new partner to your family during the holidays. From deciding if your relationship is ready to tackling family traditions and expectations, this episode covers the practical steps and research-backed strategies to ensure the introduction goes smoothly. Learn how to prepare both your partner and your family, manage emotional climates, and debrief effectively post-visit to strengthen your relationship. Grab your cocoa and fluffy socks and tune in for essential tips on creating a supportive and harmonious holiday season. Music by epidemic sound. SHOW NOTES: Experts :  Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Brene Brown Resources :  Plamondon, A., & Lachance‐Grzela, M. (2018). What if they are right? Network approval, expectations, and relationship maintenance behaviors. Personal Relationships, 25(2), 190–204. https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2018-18967-001 DePaulo, B. (2022, December 23). The thrill of going to holiday parties alone. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-single/202212/the-thrill-of-going-to-holiday-parties-alone Psychology Today: Should You Meet Your Partner's Family? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meet-catch-and-keep/201312/should-you-meet-your-partners-family

“All couples fight. In fact, how they fight in the first three minutes predicts with 96% accuracy not only how the rest of the conversation will go, but how the rest of the relationship will go six years down the road,” says relationship expert Dr. Julie Gottman. Dr. Julie and John Gottman are founders of the Gottman Institute and the Love Lab where they study how to sustain love and health in relationships. They join Chris to discuss why more people now than ever are deciding to go solo, what a healthy end to a conflict looks like, and the 52 questions you should ask your partner before getting married.This episode is part of a series of bonus videos from "How to Be a Better Human." You can watch the extended video companion on the TED YouTube Channel and the extended interview on the TED Audio Collective YouTube Channel.WatchJulie and John answer listeners' questions: https://youtu.be/nJ4RtT0T_BAExtended interview with Chris: https://youtu.be/CxW0JRAw8bkFollowHost: Chris Duffy (Instagram: @chrisiduffy | https://chrisduffycomedy.com/)Guest: Dr. Julie and John GottmanLinksHumor Me by Chris Duffy (https://t.ted.com/ZGuYfcL)https://www.gottman.com/Instagram: @thegottmaninstituteYouTube: @TheGottmanInstituteLinkedin: @the-gottman-instituteTikTok: @thegottmaninstituteFollow TED! X: https://www.twitter.com/TEDTalksInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/tedFacebook: https://facebook.com/TEDLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/ted-conferencesTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tedtoks Podcasts: https://www.ted.com/podcastsFor the full text transcript, visit go.ted.com/BHTranscriptsInterested in learning more about upcoming TED events? Follow these links:TEDNext: ted.com/futureyou Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One of the latest relationship tests to go viral is the “bird theory,” racking up millions of views on social media. It’s based on a theory developed by couples researcher John Gottman about the importance of engaging with partners when looking for a connection. John Yang speaks with licensed clinical psychologist Alexandra Solomon to learn more about the test and what it reveals. PBS News is supported by - https://www.pbs.org/newshour/about/funders. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy

One of the latest relationship tests to go viral is the “bird theory,” racking up millions of views on social media. It’s based on a theory developed by couples researcher John Gottman about the importance of engaging with partners when looking for a connection. John Yang speaks with licensed clinical psychologist Alexandra Solomon to learn more about the test and what it reveals. PBS News is supported by - https://www.pbs.org/newshour/about/funders. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy

You're the parent, or stepparent, who wants less conflict and more connection. But a child's resistance, sarcasm, isolation, or hurtful words, such as: “you're not my dad,” can derail plans and result in hurtful interactions. We've been there.In part 2 of this mini-series, you'll discover how to respond well in tough moments of pushback by using John Gottman's 5 steps of Emotion Coaching. You'll hear us role-play around real-life pushback when a child is competing for a parent's love, making accusations and threats, and behaving oppositionally toward a stepparent.We'll offer a better way to manage those moments with words that help kids feel seen, heard, and understood.  We'll also show you the best approach for addressing poor behavior and setting boundaries. The plan is simple: notice the emotion, treat it as an opportunity, listen and validate, help label feelings, then set limits while exploring solutions. Practice this, and you'll be surprised at how you can lower the tension, build relational safety, and strengthen your connection with a struggling child. When pushback hits, it is possible to move away from reacting in ways that don't help and instead, create an atmosphere of mutual trust, respect,  and real connection in your home.You'll Discover:The 5 Emotion Coaching steps from John Gottman (with wording you can steal) and why each step matters. How to decode what's going on underneath pushback and respond in a way that helps your child move through pain, loss, anger, sadness, and confusion. When and how to set behavioral boundaries so that kids are more open to receiving and responding well. A simple script for stepparents to defuse “You're not my dad/mom” moments while building mutual respect and understanding. When and how to engage in problem-solving with your child and foster real buy-in, confidence, and trust.Resources from this Episode:Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child by Dr. John GottmanEpisode 222. Step-by-Step Guide: Facing Painful Pushback Without Making Things Worse [Part 1]Episode 194.  Powerful Tips for Effectively Connecting with Your Angry or Distant Child [with Dr. Amy J.L. Baker]Episode 195.  Connecting with Kim's HARD Child - Facing the Challenges of Parental AlienationEpisode 210.  Is Your Child Pulling Away?  Here's How to Respond with Wisdom and LoveEpisode 211. 8 Warning Signs Your Ex is Manipulating Your Child's Heart and MindEpisode 92.  At a loss and feeling defeated because the kids stubbornly refuse to blend?Episode 132. How do loss and grief impact blended family integration?Episode 189. Bringing Hope to the Realities of Grief:  A Path to Understanding and Healing [with Krista St-Germain]Ready for some extra support?   Schedule your free coaching call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

When Listening Becomes Healing: The Practice of Radical Listening  Professor Christian van Nieuwerburgh (PhD) is a leading academic, consultant, and executive coach whose work bridges the worlds of coaching, positive psychology, and human connection. He serves as Professor of Coaching and Positive Psychology at the Centre for Positive Health Sciences at RCSI University of Medicine and Health Sciences in Ireland and as a Strategic Partner for the Instructional Coaching Group in the United States. He is a certified executive coach through both the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (Master Practitioner) and the International Coaching Federation (Professional Certified Coach). Christian is widely published in the fields of coaching and positive psychology. His many books include Coaching in Education: Getting Better Results for Students, Educators and Parents, An Introduction to Coaching Skills: A Practical Guide, and Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection, with Robert Biswas-Diener.  In this episode, host Shay Beider and Dr. van Nieuwerburgh explore the transformative ideas in his new book, Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection. Christian shares that listening is both a skill and an art and describes the importance of setting a positive intention before engaging with others. He outlines six core listening skills: the internal skills of noticing, quieting, and accepting, and the external skills of acknowledging, questioning, and interjecting. Throughout the conversation, Christian and Shay discuss how listening itself can be a powerful intervention—especially in healthcare settings, where being seen, valued, and heard can promote healing. Drawing from personal experience, Christian highlights the role of compassion and presence in true connection. The duo also explore barriers to communication and how simple acts of acknowledgment—what John Gottman calls turning toward bids—can build stronger bonds. This episode invites us to approach each conversation as an opportunity for connection, compassion, and shared humanity. Listen to the complete episode by clicking the player above. Transcripts for this episode are available at: https://www.integrativetouch.org/conversations-on-healing  Show Notes: Learn more about Dr. Christian van Nieuwerburgh Read his latest book "Radical Listening" here Read "Coaching in Education" here Look into "An introduction to Coaching Skills" here This podcast was created by Integrative Touch (InTouch), which is changing healthcare through human connectivity. A leader in the field of integrative medicine, InTouch exists to alleviate pain and isolation for anyone affected by illness, disability or trauma. This includes kids and adults with cancers, genetic conditions, autism, cerebral palsy, traumatic stress, and other serious health issues. The founder, Shay Beider, pioneered a new therapy called Integrative Touch™Therapy that supports healing from trauma and serious illness. The organization provides proven integrative medicine therapies, education and support that fill critical healthcare gaps. Their success is driven by deep compassion, community and integrity.  Each year, InTouch reaches thousands of people at the Integrative Touch Healing Center, both in person and through Telehealth. Thanks to the incredible support of volunteers and contributors, InTouch created a unique scholarship model called Heal it Forward that brings services to people in need at little or no cost to them. To learn more or donate to Heal it Forward, please visit IntegrativeTouch.org  

In this episode, we'll talk about how marriage isn't just destroyed by the big blowups—but more often by the small, everyday moments when we ignore each other's bids for connection, and how learning to “turn toward” instead of “turn away” can change everything.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --Many couples believe that divorce comes from big, explosive issues—infidelity, money problems, or major betrayals. But according to renowned marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman, it's often not the big things that break a marriage. It's the small, everyday moments—missed chances to connect—that slowly build up into bitterness and resentment over time.What Is a “Bid” for Connection?Gottman calls these small moments “bids.” A bid is any attempt from one partner to get attention, affection, affirmation, or support from the other. Bids can be loud or quiet, obvious or subtle.Examples:“How do I look?” (Translation: Can I have your attention?)“Getting the kids to bed is hard.” (Translation: Can I have your help?)A spouse sitting down next to you on the couch. (Translation: Can I be near you?)Whether you notice these bids and how you respond to them will shape the health of your marriage—far more than you might think.The 3 Ways to Respond to a BidEvery time your spouse makes a bid for connection, you have three ways to respond. Over time, your pattern of responses becomes the emotional climate of your relationship.1. Turning TowardThis is the healthy response. When you turn toward a bid, you engage with your partner's attempt to connect. It could be as simple as answering their question, offering a smile, or stopping what you're doing to give them your attention.Example:Spouse: “Look at this funny video.”Turning Toward: “Haha! That's great. Show me another.”What it does: Builds trust, intimacy, and love. Each “turning toward” moment is like a small deposit in the bank account of your marriage.Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”Kind responses create peace and connection.2. Turning AwayThis is the neutral-to-negative response. You ignore the bid, act distracted, or give a half-hearted answer.Example:Spouse: “Can we talk after dinner?”Turning Away: “Uh-huh…” (while scrolling your phone)What it does: Over time, this makes your partner feel invisible or unimportant. They may stop reaching out altogether.Philippians 2:4 – “Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”Marriage thrives when both spouses make each other a priority.3. Turning AgainstThis is the harmful response. You react with sarcasm, criticism, or irritation. It not only ignores the bid, but...

If the harshest voice in your life is your own, you're not alone. In this video I map John Gottman's “Four Horsemen” (criticism, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling) onto our inner dialogue to explain how self-abuse forms—and why it's so hard to escape.Then I show you how to rebuild the relationship with yourself using two levers: high commitment (taking “give up on me” off the table) and realistic standards (dropping the inhuman bar). Expect practical reframes, not platitudes—and a path out that's hard, honest, and doable.If you've been withdrawing, sabotaging, or fantasizing about disappearing, this is your sign to try again—with better tools and a fairer contract with yourself.Get my ⁠5-day guide to reclaiming your time and energy despite mental health struggles⁠.Get Practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered weekly⁠⁠⁠.⁠2 Unique ways to work with me⁠⁠Dramatically improve your sleep in 2 steps⁠⁠ with my Sleep Workbook.⁠⁠⁠My book: For When Everything is Burning⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Connect with me on TikTok⁠⁠Connect on Instagram⁠⁠Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.But I do care.

Get instant access to our “Master Your Marriage Communication Guide” filled with proven strategies to strengthen your relationship and build the marriage you've always wanted. Click here: https://masteryourmarriage.us/free-guideEpisode Summary:"Defense is the first act of war." We are re-releasing our most popular episode this year, and for a good reason! Defensiveness is something we all struggle with! In this episode of Master Your Marriage, we delve into the concept of defensiveness in relationships, exploring its corrosive effects on intimacy and personal growth. We discuss the Four Horsemen of relationship dynamics identified by Dr. John Gottman, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and accountability in overcoming defensiveness. The conversation highlights how defensiveness can lead to self-deception and hinder true connection with partners. Learn practical strategies for recognizing and addressing defensiveness, and how to advocate for personal responsibility as a pathway to growth and improved relationships.TakeawaysDefensiveness is a common but corrosive behavior in relationships.Marriage serves as a platform for personal growth and self-awareness.The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse include defensiveness, which predicts relationship instability.Intimacy requires vulnerability and the willingness to confront uncomfortable truths.Self-deception often stems from the ego's need to protect its narrative.Taking responsibility is crucial for overcoming defensiveness.Effective communication involves asking for understanding rather than becoming defensive.Changing oneself can positively impact the dynamics of a relationship.Defensiveness can destroy intimacy and connection with partners.Recognizing and addressing defensiveness is essential for relationship health.Connect with Us:Email: masteryourmarriage@gmail.com – Reach out for coaching, share wins, or pitch episode ideas.Instagram: @masteryourmarriage – Daily tips, behind-the-scenes reels, and a healthy dose of Snow-family humor.Reviews Matter! If this episode sparked an aha moment, drop a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and send it to a friend who could use a vision upgrade.

Companion Guide Alert!Enhance your listening experience with our brand-new Assumptions That Destroy Communication Workbook, designed to accompany this episode! This guide will help you transform your communication skills. Grab it now for just $4 at: https://stan.store/masteryourmarriage/p/assumptions-that-destroy-communication-workbookEpisode SummaryIn this episode of 'Master Your Marriage,' we explore the science of repair in relationships. We discuss how repair is essential for mending ruptures and maintaining a strong connection. Our conversation delves into research by experts like Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Ed Tronick, highlighting the importance of repair in building resilience and trust. You'll learn practical strategies for effective repair, making your relationships more resilient and harmonious.TakeawaysRepair is essential for mending ruptures in relationships.Effective repair builds resilience and trust.Dr. John Gottman's research highlights repair as a key predictor of relationship success.Dr. Ed Tronick's work shows the cycle of harmony, disharmony, and repair.Repair can be any action or statement that prevents negativity from escalating.Successful repair prevents negativity from spiraling out of control.Repair keeps us from getting flooded and stressed.Repair is a necessary ingredient in every successful relationship.Repair strategies can be customized to each unique relationship.The cycle of harmony, disharmony, and repair is normal and necessary.Connect with Us:Email: masteryourmarriage@gmail.com – Reach out for coaching, share wins, or pitch episode ideas.Instagram: @masteryourmarriage – Daily tips, behind-the-scenes reels, and a healthy dose of Snow-family humor.Reviews Matter! If this episode sparked an aha moment, drop a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify and send it to a friend who could use a vision upgrade.

Intro: Broccoli in colder climates, garden updates6:00: Post-religious right, post-Charlie Kirk right.10:10: Boldness and the generational attraction.14:17: Alisa Childers, Derek Webb and those that didn't deconstruct.19:07: Okay, one traumatizing youth group game.21:28: Back to Childers and changing her ministry because of Charlie Kirk.23:50: Picking up off last week's end on 1 Timothy.28:56: A true religion, Dave Rueben, and desires to be more into religion.30:01: Is there a place for LGBT to worship in a church after they come to church before they're convicted but after choosing to follow the Lord?34:59: A real danger in optics and protecting kids for the good, true and beautiful.38:27: A question that needs to be answered. Do you encourage a divorce or legal separation?39:13: Biological bewilderment. And an example from recent African history.43:00: Why the solution of multiple wives would not apply to today's culture.45:09: Going for walks and stockpiling quality time. John Gottman's observations of couples (4 Horseman) and the primary indicator for whether a marriage will last.50:00: Don't just “date your wife.”58:01: Show Close Too Busy to Flush Telegram GroupSend us a PostcardCanavoxPique Tea - Referral Link (it's super-delicious and healthy)Ledger Hardware Wallet - Referral Link (store your crypto securely!)Wealthfront Referral Link

What if true financial freedom isn't about chasing more, but about choosing better? In this episode of Seek Go Create, host Tim Winders sits down with Dr. Nicholas Michels—former pro basketball player, faith-filled leader, and author of "Rich by Choice." From a childhood shaken by sudden loss to building wealth rooted in faith and values, Dr. Michels shares his journey and the power of aligning money with what matters most. Discover how purpose, clarity, and intentional choices can change your life and legacy. If you're ready to rethink money and leadership, this conversation is for you."Align your money with what's most important—true happiness comes from that." - Dr. Nicholas Michels Access all show and episode resources HEREAbout Our Guest:Dr. Nicholas Michels is an elite wealth strategist, author of the book Rich by Choice, and a former professional basketball player. From growing up in a trailer park to turning down an $8 million deal to preserve his core values, Dr. Michels brings a unique, purpose-driven perspective to financial leadership. He is a trusted advisor who helps families build wealth with clarity and peace, not pressure. Driven by his deep faith and commitment to integrity, he's passionate about empowering others to achieve not just financial abundance, but true richness in all areas of life.Reasons to Listen: Uncover the true meaning of financial freedom—Dr. Nicholas Michels shares why aligning your money with your values leads to happiness, drawing from his own dramatic life story and professional experience.Gain actionable strategies to build wealth with peace, not pressure—Learn practical tips and family-tested exercises to achieve “richness” in both finances and life, including how Dr. Michels and his wife overcame money challenges together.Get a behind-the-scenes look at leading with faith and purpose—Hear how faith, resilience, and intentional choices helped Dr. Michels rise from hardship to success, and why financial clarity is a vital form of leadership everyone should embrace.Episode Resources & Action Steps:Resources Mentioned in This EpisodeBook: "Rich by Choice" by Dr. Nicholas Michels: Dr. Michels' book focuses on aligning money with personal values, creating wealth with purpose, and finding true happiness through intentional financial choices. (Free gift and additional resources available)Website: RichByChoiceBook.com: The official website for Dr. Michels' book, offering free chapters, compounding resources, and options for further learning and connecting with Dr. Michels.Marriage and Money Devotionals/Books (John Gottman's resources mentioned): Dr. Michels referenced using marriage devotionals and John Gottman's books to foster better communication and connection around finances with his spouse.Action Steps for ListenersCreate a Family Vision Statement: Sit down with your partner or family and write out detailed visions for your life—including financial goals, experiences, and the values you want to prioritize. Share and discuss to align on a common vision.Intentionally Schedule Financial Check-ins: Set regular times to communicate about money with open-ended, honest questions. Use resources or devotionals (such as those by John Gottman) to guide your conversations and strengthen the partnership.Download and Apply the Compounding Resource: Visit

Amy and Kat continue to unpack Dr. John Gottman’s famous ‘Four Horsemen of the apocalypse’ for relationships which has helped him be able to predict the failure or success of a relationship with a 90% accuracy rate. Week 2 is Defensiveness. It is that quick “it’s not me, it’s you” response that shows up when we think we are being criticized. Amy and Kat talk about how defensiveness sneaks in when we are stressed or protecting our ego (especially for Amy!!), and why it makes conflict worse instead of solving it. They share real-life examples, explain how even a hint of criticism can trigger us, and walk through the antidote of taking responsibility for your part. You will hear tips for pausing, owning your piece, and keeping conversations from turning into blame games. This episode will help you stay connected and turn tense moments into opportunities for understanding. Watch us on Youtube HERE! Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077 Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com HOSTS: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburenSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Arguments that spiral out of control often leave behind words no one meant and wounds that take time to heal. Escalation may feel like “getting it all out,” but according to our guest today, it is actually poison to a marriage. Dr. Kevin Downing, founder of Turning Point Counseling in Southern California, has spent decades helping couples, pastors, and families find healthier ways to connect. His insights on escalation, self-control, and parenting bring both biblical grounding and practical tools. Why Escalation Is “Pure Poison” That Often Leads to Divorce Research from Dr. John Gottman revealed that the type of conflict in marriage can predict divorce. The number one predictor? Escalation. When escalation takes over, brain scans show that the logical, rational side of the brain shuts down. That's why conversations in anger lead to slammed doors, reckless words, or ultimatums. With half the brain offline, no real problem-solving can happen. We often think that the “truth” does comes out during these heated moments of escalation, and sometimes spouses even push each other to the brink in an attempt to "get the truth out." But the reality is, this isn't so. The words spoken at the peak of anger are not reliable and usually bring regret. As Dr. Downing explained, escalation is pure poison for marriage. The Fruit of the Spirit in Your Marriage Scripture gives a different path. Galatians 5 teaches that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. Self-control means more than biting one's tongue; it is the Spirit's power to respond with gentleness when provoked. It is choosing a soft answer when the flesh screams for retaliation. This is what keeps hearts tender and marriages safe. Practical Tools for De-Escalation Dr. Downing offered practical tools couples can use immediately: Use “I” language. Instead of “You're losing it,” say, “I need a few minutes to calm down. I promise to return.” Pause at night. Words like, “I love you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm sure we can work this out” create security before sleep. Reassure often. A 10-second “wedding-vow refresh” can melt deep insecurity: “You're my one and only—for better or worse, for life.” Don't debate history. Replace “I remember it better than you” with “We have different recollections.” Then drop it. Offer a new experience. Arguments rarely change minds, but kindness does. Just as a restaurant replaces a meal instead of defending reviews, a spouse can create change by responding with love instead of debate. How to Be on the Same Page about Parenting Conflict in parenting can be just as destructive if spouses are not aligned. But, Dr. Downing emphasized that parenting plans should not be created in the heat of a crisis. An argument is not the time to create a parenting plan, just like the middle of a storm is not the time to create a rain plan. You want to do these things outside of the state of chaos. Instead, couples should sit down calmly after the crisis is done and start with the big picture. What goals do you have for your children? You may ask yourselves: Do we want our children to be God-loving? Self-supporting? Respectful? Loving toward siblings and connected to church? Agreeing on these goals allows a united front in daily decisions. One of the greatest gifts for children is seeing parents present a unified approach. Correcting a spouse in front of the kids undermines authority and invites manipulation. Behind closed doors, differences can be discussed and resolved without giving children the leverage to divide. The Two-Minute Timeout Dr. Downing also shared a simple, powerful discipline tool for parenting: the two-minute timeout. When a child disobeys, responds disrespectfully, or hits a sibling, the consequence is two minutes with two questions: Why were you in timeout? Will this behavior happen again today or tonight? To establish safety and connection, younger children are also given a hug afterward. This short, consistent approach helps children take ownership while keeping parents calm. It prevents long punishments that discourage, as well as shouting matches that model escalation. In fact, the timeout often benefits the parent just as much—allowing emotions to cool so rational thinking returns. By the time children reach their teens, the drill is so familiar that a simple question—“Do you need a timeout?”—is usually enough to prompt self-correction. Final Thoughts Every couple disagrees sometimes, and every parent has those chaotic moments—but they don't have to end in distance or regret. Escalation will always push hearts apart, but Spirit-led self-control and kindness can draw them close again. The beautiful truth is that transformation doesn't always come through big, complicated steps. Often it's the small, intentional choices—pausing before speaking, offering reassurance instead of accusation, giving a child two minutes to reset—that shift the entire atmosphere of a home. Each moment of choosing gentleness over escalation is an invitation for God's presence to flood your marriage and your family. You can do this. God bless you!   With love, The Delight Your Marriage Team PS - For more information on Dr. Kevin Downing and his work, please visit turningpointcounseling.org PPS - Interested in some free resources? Check out delightyourmarriage.com/downing for a downloadable bundle including resources mentioned in today's podcast. PPPS - Did you get a chance to check out the Midlife Summit? They are doing an encore presentation this weekend and it is not too late to catch it! Come check out Belah and other coaches as they share insight on hormones, intimacy, and all things midlife. Click here for more info. PPPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate: "When we did talk it would often end with blaming each other and an argument.  I believed that if my wife could just be more affectionate and loving our marriage would be much better.  I quickly realized in the first few weeks of MR, that when I take the lead to make her feel safe, cherished, and heard, she responds by being kinder and more loving towards me."

This is the start of a 4 part series of Amy and Kat unpacking Dr. John Gottman’s famous ‘Four Horsemen of the apocalypse’ for relationships which has helped him be able to predict the failure or success of a relationship with a 90% accuracy rate. Part 1 is Criticism, the one that often shows up first and sets the tone for conflict. Amy has her own issues with getting defensive and even gets her boyfriend on the phone to confirm. Kat explains why criticism is different from a simple complaint, how it sneaks in through exaggeration, “should” statements, jokes, and tone, and why it can actually be a clumsy bid for connection. You’ll learn Gottman’s antidote, the Gentle Start-Up, with clear “I feel / I need” examples to help you express concerns without blame. Whether you’re married, dating, or navigating family and friendships, this episode will help you spot criticism early and swap it for communication that keeps relationships strong. Feeling of the Day: Angry (and Kat has every right to be!) Listen next week for: Defensiveness (Part 2 of How Relationships Begin to End: The Four Horseman) Watch us on Youtube HERE! Call and leave a voicemail: 877-207-2077 Email: heythere@feelingthingspodcast.com HOSTS: Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy Kat Van Buren // threecordstherapy.com // @KatVanburenSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!Have you heard of the so-called “1000 Mile Rule”? It's a trend spreading online that suggests if you're more than a thousand miles away from your spouse, you can cheat guilt-free. Sounds shocking, right? In this video, Kimberly Beam Holmes, CEO of Marriage Helper, explains why this idea is destructive and why you should avoid it at all costs.For over 30 years, Marriage Helper has worked with more than 25,000 couples, helping them restore their marriages and rebuild lasting commitment. In this episode, Kimberly breaks down:✅ What the “1000 Mile Rule” actually is and where it came from ✅ Why ideas like this weaken trust and commitment in marriage ✅ The truth about monogamy and long-lasting love, backed by experts like Dr. Helen Fisher and Dr. John Gottman ✅ How to build stronger connection and intimacy with your spouse instead of looking outside your marriageAt Marriage Helper, we know what makes marriages thrive—and it's not free passes, open marriages, or outside flings. True love and fulfillment come from creating safety, commitment, and passion with your spouse.

Do you avoid conflict—or use it to grow your influence? In this episode, AJ and Johnny share a science-backed framework for conflict resolution that transforms tense moments into opportunities for trust and leadership. Drawing on John Gottman's research on relationships and Google's Project Aristotle findings on high-performing teams, they reveal why conflict isn't a problem to eliminate—it's a chance to deepen respect and build long-term influence. You'll learn a step-by-step system to handle everyday workplace and relationship conflicts without burning bridges: lead with value, accept responsibility, show empathy, and present solutions that create buy-in. With stories from clients like Marcus, a consultant at BCG, AJ and Johnny show how mastering conflict resolution can make you the person others turn to when stakes are high. If you've ever felt conflict-averse, this episode gives you practical tools to stay calm, confident, and in control. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why avoiding conflict costs you influence [00:00:56] How conflict avoidance limits your “career chessboard” moves [00:01:27] The science of conflict: shifting from “me vs. you” to “us vs. the problem” [00:02:43] The High-Value Conflict Framework explained [00:03:28] Step 1: Lead with value to disarm defensiveness [00:03:54] Step 2: Accept responsibility without weakness [00:06:23] Step 3: Use empathy and “we” language to build trust [00:07:26] Step 4: Present options, not ultimatums [00:09:18] Why well-resolved conflicts create stronger bonds [00:11:03] Client story: how Marcus became the go-to conflict solver [00:11:29] Why mastering conflict is the ticket to influence A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠  The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially.  Visit the ⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at ⁠makeheadway.com/CHARM ⁠and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at ⁠SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM⁠ TODAY to get started  Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Ash is joined by Arielle Ford, love alchemist and best-selling author, for a heartfelt conversation about love, intimacy, and what it takes to create thriving relationships. Arielle shares her view of love as an art form, reminding us that each person is the artist of their own experiences. She reads a moving poem that frames love as a choice and daily practice, rooted in forgiveness, commitment, and truth-telling. Together, they explore the challenges of modern relationships, from choosing generous partners to navigating the decline of intimacy in today's culture, and the importance of building emotional and physical safety. The conversation highlights Wabi Sabi Love, the practice of finding beauty in imperfections and embracing quirks with creativity instead of expecting change. With insights from relationship experts like John Gottman and Harville Hendrix, Arielle and Ash discuss early warning signs of unhealthy dynamics, the need for value alignment, and why compromise, not efficiency is the foundation of lasting connection. They also explore how communication, truth-telling, and a willingness to forgive are essential for sustaining long-term love. Listeners are introduced to practices like “feelingizations” and reminded of the Harvard study proving that love and friendship not money or fame are the strongest predictors of happiness and longevity. The episode closes with a spotlight on Arielle's new novel, The Love Thief, a romantic spiritual thriller that brings her wisdom on love to life in a fast-paced, engaging story. In This Episode, You'll Learn: Why love is both an art form and a daily practice. The role of forgiveness, truth, and commitment in lasting relationships. How to recognize deal breakers and red flags early on. The beauty of Wabi Sabi Love and embracing imperfections. Why communication and compromise matter more than efficiency. Insights from experts on warning signs of relationship struggles. How love and friendship not money are key to a fulfilling life.   Visit shopify.com/youturn and only pay $1 for your first month's trial. Connect with Arielle Ford Order The Love Thief Book here: https://www.arielleford.com/the-love-thief/ Website: https://www.arielleford.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/arielleford_author/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ArielleFordFanPage/   Connect with Ash: https://www.instagram.com/ashleystahl/ Want to become a professional speaker and skyrocket your personal brand?  Ashley's team at Wise Whisper Agency offers a done-with-you method to get your signature talk written and booked and it's helped more than 100 clients onto the TEDx stage! Head over to WiseWhisperAgency.com/speak

Ever wonder why some relationships thrive through challenges while others crumble? In this spotlight episode, leading relationship researchers share the exact patterns that predict relationship success, revealing why conflict isn't the problem—it's how we navigate it that matters.Learn practical tools from the Gottmans' decades of research, discover how self-awareness shapes stronger connections with Yung Pueblo, and explore science-backed strategies for deepening friendships with expert Danielle Bayard Jackson.Episode TranscriptYou can find Julie & John Gottman at: Website | Instagram | Listen to Our Full-Length Convo with The GottmansYou can find Yung Pueblo at: Website | Instagram | Listen to Our Full-Length Convo with YungYou can find Danielle at: Better Female Friendships | Instagram | Listen to Our Full-Length Convo with DanielleCheck out our offerings & partners: Join My New Writing Project: Awake at the WheelVisit Our Sponsor Page For Great Resources & Discount CodesCheck out our offerings & partners: Beam Dream Powder: Visit https://shopbeam.com/GOODLIFE and use code GOODLIFE to get our exclusive discount of up to 40% off. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

From sustaining a marriage to making new friends, forming connections requires courage. This hour, TED speakers guide us through being brave during the most difficult moments in relationships. Guests include writer and podcaster Kelly Corrigan, journalist Allison Gilbert and clinical psychologists Julie and John Gottman. Original broadcast date: November 1, 2024TED Radio Hour+ subscribers now get access to bonus episodes, with more ideas from TED speakers and a behind the scenes look with our producers. A Plus subscription also lets you listen to regular episodes (like this one!) without sponsors. Sign-up at: plus.npr.org/tedLearn more about sponsor message choices: podcastchoices.com/adchoicesNPR Privacy Policy

Most people dread small talk. But in this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ and Johnny explain why it's not about the weather, jobs, or generic questions—it's about emotional connection. Discover the science of “emotional bids,” a concept from Dr. John Gottman that unlocks deeper conversations and lasting influence. AJ shares a real story of using this skill at a high-stakes networking event, while Johnny shows how emotional validation can turn awkward exchanges into moments that matter. Whether you're meeting new people, trying to stand out in a crowd, or just want to feel more socially confident, this three-step framework will change the way you communicate forever. What to Listen For: [00:00:00] Why most people hate small talk—and why they're wrong [00:02:20] The hidden purpose of small talk: emotional diagnostics [00:03:37] How memory and conversation are tied to heightened states [00:05:25] AJ's breakthrough moment at a high-profile DC event [00:07:16] Emotional bids explained with real-world examples [00:09:35] The 3 types of responses to emotional bids [00:10:39] Why validation increases trust and influence [00:11:35] Johnny's "tin can" metaphor for relationship-building [00:13:36] Client story: From frozen out to followed up [00:14:39] The 3-step formula to transform small talk into deep talk A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don't miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: ⁠HowardFalco.com⁠ Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices