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In this episode of the Man Therapy podcast, Dan and Kyle discuss various themes surrounding fantasy football, holiday family dynamics, and the challenges of maintaining relationships amidst the busyness of life. They reflect on the importance of communication, personal growth, and the value of couples counseling in navigating relationship struggles. The conversation also touches on the pressures of holiday traditions and the significance of prioritizing the couple's relationship while managing parenting responsibilities. Takeaways: Fantasy football can be frustrating and full of unwritten rules. Family gatherings during the holidays can highlight the importance of good relationships. Christmas presents can create unnecessary stress and pressure. The busyness of parenting can lead to neglecting the couple's relationship. It's important to prioritize the relationship between parents amidst family activities. Couples counseling can provide valuable insights for improving relationships. Personal growth is essential for maintaining healthy relationships. Communication is key in addressing relationship challenges. Recognizing and supporting each other's struggles can strengthen bonds. Commitment to the relationship is crucial, even during tough times. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Do you feel more like adversaries than allies with your partner? Do you feel more like opponents than teammates? If you answered yes you're going to appreciate this episode as I discuss this pattern, what causes it, what it feels like, and how to fix it.
Drag Race winner Yvie Oddly (season 11) and co-host Ryan Mitchell (HIGHKEY!) join Nicole to overshare.Yvie discusses her reaction to Ariana Grande naming her a favorite, her thoughts on the internet's response to her season of Drag Race, the details of her open relationship, and getting stretched out by a didgeridoo. Ryan shares his history of dating terrible men, getting cheated on 7 times, and the time he followed a stranger to a hotel for a hookup that could've been a murder. They all discuss the craziest things a hookup has said while they were inside you, the hottest kind of dirty talk, and whether the Simpsons are Black. We had a wild time. Tune in!For more Yvie and Ryan, check out their podcast, HIGHKEY! Available on YouTube as well.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:Aura Frame: Exclusive $35 off Carver Mat at https://on.auraframes.com/DATEME. Promo Code DATEMEQuince: Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them with Quince. Go to Quince.com/dateme for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too.Planned Parenthood: Donate to support Planned Parenthood now at PlannedParenthood.org/DefendFollow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
• Holiday food, fellowship, and Hollerbach's holiday events • Krampus vs. St. Nick wrestling and stoner-Santa jokes • Photos with St. Nicholas, gifts for kids, German décor, holiday market, and Haribo talk • Colette Fehr joins the Friday Free Show • Thanksgiving camping recap and Giant Recreation World promos • RV rentals, luxury setups, and modern RV color trends • Jokes about Tom's ancestry, DNA-test surprises, and secret-family discoveries • Emotional impact of unexpected biological relatives • Promotion of Colette's book *The Cost of Quiet* and her packed launch schedule • Challenges of book promotion, media spots, and hosting two podcasts • Love Thy Neighbor podcast rankings and availability • Book themes: expressing needs, avoiding self-abandonment, changing harsh self-talk • Everyone—including therapists—struggles with self-doubt • Colette's appearance on a hostile debate podcast and the misogyny she witnessed • Troll backlash toward her and OnlyFans creators on that show • Silver lining: landing a Godmothers bookstore event • Reality of non-celebrity book promotion and publisher expectations • Idea for a behind-the-scenes radio-era book • Inspiration for her book: 14 years of therapy work and personal divorce • Traditional publishing gatekeeping and landing a Penguin Random House deal • Traditional vs. self-publishing and the benefits of a major publisher • Visiting the PRH building and joking about real penguins • Upcoming podcast with her husband and his anxiety about it • Couples therapy experience, communication work, and opposites-attract dynamics • Remote recording setup (Winter Park vs. Dubai) • Normalizing messy but functional marriages • Critique of "too perfect" self-help gurus and Liver King deception • Scandals rarely ending creators' careers • Ethics and the choice not to scam audiences • Persona amplification online: wrestlers, radio hosts, trolls • Perez Hilton's shift away from aggressive trolling • January 29 book-launch event details and book-purchase ticketing • Purpose of the book: helping people communicate, not chasing fame • Complaints about Tracy's gift-bag photo incident • Introduction of metal band Ousted and marijuana-card sponsors • New Tom & Dan merch announcements • Kids listening to the show and Elf on the Shelf traditions • Increasingly elaborate elf setups and AI-generated elf videos • Debate about AI "magic" vs. childhood imagination • Ethical concerns about realistic Santa/elf AI footage • Parents' fear of lying, trust issues, and when kids learn the truth • Commercial AI services selling holiday overlays • Escalation worry: parents overextending the magic • News about Frosty voice actor Jackie Vernon having secret families • How secret families form, motives behind them, and emotional fallout • DNA tests revealing hidden relatives and identity crises • Debate on whether someone with two families can be a "good dad" • Childhood memories of sneaking out and risky teen behavior • Modern over-monitoring vs. allowing independence • Phones as anxiety amplifiers, GPS glitches, and negative alerts • Desire for unplugged family vacations • Tromp family shared-delusion case and folie à plusieurs explanation • Emotional contagion, fear contagion, cult-like dynamics • Transition to therapy topics: clients falling for therapists and transference • Therapists maintaining strict boundaries and ethical rules • Reasons for firing clients and confidentiality limits in couples therapy • Misconception that couples therapy is about "winning" • Etiquette of seeing clients in public and HIPAA challenges • Therapists declining gifts and the feelings that creates • Colette wrapping up, promoting her book, and plans to return • Show reminders about next Thursday's episode and upcoming BDM show ### • Social Media: https://tomanddan.com | https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive | https://facebook.com/amediocretime | https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive• Where to Find the Show: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/• Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 | https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s | https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/• Exclusive Content: https://tomanddan.com/registration• Merch: https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/
Dive into Italy's most terrifying true-crime mystery as we uncover the Monster of Florence—decades of murders, conspiracies, botched investigations, and unanswered questions in a case that still haunts Italy today. Sponsor: shopify.com/casual - start your $1 per month trial period today Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Disclaimer: We are not professionals. This podcast is opinioned based and from life experience. This is for entertainment purposes only. Opinions helped by our guests may not reflect our own. But we love a good conversation.In this 2 Be Better Podcast episode, Chris and Peaches walk you through a full list of cheating apps for 2025, from “news” and calculator clones to secret chat apps, vaults, and full blown spyware designed to hide affairs. They break down how apps like disguised news feeds, private messengers, secret calculators, vault stock, private message boxes, and hidden photo folders actually work, including fake icons, decoy vaults, self destructing chats, and notifications that look like harmless news alerts. They also cover spying tools like Spynger, GPS spoofers, keyloggers, and screen recorders marketed as “catch a cheating spouse” apps, and talk bluntly about how dangerous this tech is when it gets into the hands of controlling or abusive partners. From there, the conversation shifts to what all of this really means for trust, infidelity, and emotional safety in relationships. You will hear hard truth on online cheating, porn as a form of infidelity, anxiety and BPD spirals, and why if you are tempted to install a spy app on your partner's phone, the real issue is that the relationship is already broken. Chris and Peaches give you a clear framework for when to leave instead of snooping, how to own your insecurity and start healing, and how to protect your kids from the dark side of smartphones with things like kid safe phones and simple tools like AirTags instead of handing them full internet access. If you are searching for “cheating apps 2025,” “secret messaging apps,” “how to catch a cheater,” “hidden vault apps,” or answers about privacy, trust, and boundaries in marriage and dating, this video will give you clarity, language, and a path forward instead of feeding your paranoia.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/2-be-better--5828421/support.
Couples Who Don't Fight by Maine's Coast 93.1
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOrder Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizEver wondered why stress and shame seem to quietly erode intimacy in your relationship?Do you and your partner struggle to reconnect during overwhelming seasons—leaving both of you feeling misunderstood, rejected, or alone?Curious how to calm your nervous system and bridge the desire gap, even when it feels impossible?In this week's episode of Relationship Renovation, EJ Kerwin and Tarah Kerwin dive into The Intimacy Gap (Part 2): The Silent Saboteurs — How Stress, Shame, and Mismatched Desire Sabotage Connection.Building on Part 1 of their four-part intimacy series, they unpack why intimacy doesn't simply fade—it's slowly chipped away by stress, shame, dysregulated nervous systems, and repeated miscommunication.Through honest, vulnerable stories about blending families, parenting challenges, and financial strain, EJ and Tarah reveal how nervous system overload is often misread as withdrawal or rejection. That misunderstanding fuels a painful cycle of blame, distance, and desire discrepancies that many couples mistake for incompatibility.In This Episode, You'll Learn:How stress and shame shut down emotional and sexual desireWhy mismatched desire is normal—and what it actually meansHow nervous system dysregulation masquerades as disinterestTools to shift from reactivity to curiosityPractical steps to restore emotional safety and rebuild connectionWays to communicate vulnerably when intimacy feels out of syncWith research-supported insights and relatable real-life examples, EJ and Tarah show you how moving from “calm to connect” can help couples step out of shame, regulate together, and create a new intimacy story—one rooted in empathy, safety, and lasting closeness.If you've ever struggled with stress, shame, or desire differences in your relationship, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and real hope for rebuilding intimacy.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
In this replay from Season 1 Episode 9 of the 2 Be Better Podcast, Chris and Peaches tackle the real side of traditional marriage, trauma, and mental health with raw, unfiltered honesty. They respond to criticism about their appearance, talk openly about troubled pasts, depression, suicidal thoughts, and why they choose to show up for “the broken” instead of trying to impress people who already have perfect-looking lives. You'll hear powerful conversations about validation, why feelings are information and not weakness, why suffering in silence destroys people, and how a single moment of listening and empathy can literally save a life. This episode is for anyone searching for real talk on healing, self-worth, faith, and taking ownership of your life instead of staying stuck in victim mentality.They also dive deep into sex and intimacy in marriage, including high vs low libido, sexless marriages, weaponized intimacy, nagging, and what it really means to be a stay-at-home wife in a traditional, faith-centered relationship. You'll hear coaching around lazy partners who won't work, setting timelines for change, financial stress, postpartum depression and creative burnout, grief after losing a parent, and how to let your husband lead in finances without losing your strength as a woman. Expect straight-forward marriage advice, practical communication tools, real examples from listener emails, and tough-love guidance on boundaries, leadership, submission, respect, and rebuilding attraction in your relationship.Disclaimer: We are not professionals. This podcast is opinioned based and from life experience. This is for entertainment purposes only. Opinions helped by our guests may not reflect our own. But we love a good conversation.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/2-be-better--5828421/support.
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Send us a textGET THE BETTER MARRIAGE BOOTCAMP HERE:Better Marriage Bootcamp (kenandtabatha.com)Better Marriage 90-Day Devotional:90 Day Better Marriage Devotional - Ken and Tabatha (square.site)DOWNLOAD THE FAMILY MEETING OUTLINE HERE ⬇️https://www.kenandtabatha.com/pl/2148103888
A satisfying, happy long term relationship starts with how your actions and decisions impact your partner. Text me at 972-426-2640 so we can stay connected!Support me on Patreon!Twitter: @elliottspeaksInstagram: @elliottspeaks
In this episode, we dive into eight reasons why Cappadocia deserves a spot on your travel bucket list—from its surreal landscapes and cave hotels to unforgettable experiences like hot air ballooning at sunrise. Let's explore the region's incredible food, unique spa and hamam traditions, underground cave cities, and outdoor adventures that make it such a magical destination. Whether you're planning a couples getaway or dreaming up your next big trip, this episode will leave you ready to book a flight to Turkey!
First, The Indian Express' Soumyarendra Barik discusses Sanchar Saathi, the government developed cybersecurity app that has raised serious concerns about privacy and consent.Next, we talk to The Indian Express' Brendan Dabhi who breaks down the case of two young Pakistani couples who crossed the Rann of Kutch, allegedly for love. (16:40)In the end, we take a look at Jharkhand workers who are set to return home after being stranded in Cameroon for months. (24:50)Hosted by Ichha SharmaWritten and produced by Shashank Bhargava and Ichha SharmaEdited and mixed by Suresh Pawar
We talk about why choosing a one-word theme for the year can be such a creative, constructive, and satisfying exercise. We review our words for 2025 and reveal our words for 2026. Plus we share an original and fun reason to have a party. Resources & links related to this episode: Amazing scene in Mad Men Work through my new Gift Idea Generator worksheet Elizabeth is reading: War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: Couples by John Updike (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app. Find the transcript for this episode on the episode details page in the Apple Podcasts app. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mr. Mocha was a stud for couples and now he's swinging with Mrs. Mocha and he called in to talk all about it. Tune in to hear all the details including how he wound up banging his co-workers wife in his twenties and exactly what went down, the next guy who asked him to bang his wife and what went down including exactly how he cucked the guy, the swinger club experiences he had early on and what would go down while he was there, the first adult website he went on and how and why he wound up meeting up with couples and got more into the lifestyle, how he met Mrs. Mocha and how they wound up in an open relationship together, the first threesome with a woman they had and how and why she got jealous and how they got through it, their first threesome with a guy and how that went down, what his wife enjoys in the lifestyle the most now, how and why they now play solo plus everything else they're into doing, his podcast Orgasm face and what they discuss plus a whole lot more. Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. A bunch of short, super sexy, TRUE stories. GET YOUR COPY NOW: https://amzn.to/4i7hBCd To see HOT pics of my female guests + hear anonymous confessions + get all the episodes early and AD FREE, join my Patreon! It's only $7 a month and you can cancel at any time. You can sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/StrictlyAnonymousPodcast and when you join, I'll throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord! To join SDC and get a FREE Trial! click here: https://www.sdc.com/?ref=37712 or go to SDC.com and use my code 37712 Want to be on the show? Email me at strictlyanonymouspodcast@gmail.com or go to http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on "Be on the Show." Want to confess while remaining anonymous? Call the CONFESSIONS hotline at 347-420-3579. All voices are changed. Sponsors: https://motorbunny.com/strictly — Black Friday Sale PLUS $50 off! https://butterwellness.com/ — Use the code STRICTLY at checkout for 30% OFF your entire order https://bluechew.com — Get your first month of the new Bluechew Max FREE! Use code: STRICTLYANON https://beducate.me/pd2536-anonymous — Use code ANONYMOUS69 to get 50% off your yearly pass plus a 14-day money-back guarantee https://vb.health — To get 10% off LOAD Boost by VB Health use code: STRICTLY https://www.quince.com/strictlyanon — For premium quality Quince clothing plus FREE shipping and 365 day returns! https://brooklynbedding.com — Use my promo code STRICTLY at checkout to get 30% off sitewide Follow me! Instagram https://www.instagram.com/strictanonymous/ X https://twitter.com/strictanonymous?lang=en Website http://www.strictlyanonymouspodcast.com/ Everything else: https://linktr.ee/Strictlyanonymouspodcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
In this episode, we dive headfirst into the unpredictable waters of relationship therapy—armed with, well... nothing. Because that's the thing about therapy, it takes away all your armour (and coping mechanisms). Relationship work is a trip and honestly, sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. Or at a minimum, make sure you laugh after crying. Our goal with this sharing is to normalize this kind of work because it really is life changing. Even if it is very, very hard.
Making concessions for red flags, no matter how small, is damaging in the long term.Text me at 972-426-2640 so we can stay connected!Support me on Patreon!Twitter: @elliottspeaksInstagram: @elliottspeaks Text me at 972-426-2640 so we can stay connected!Support me on Patreon!Twitter: @elliottspeaksInstagram: @elliottspeaks
Got some sh!t to say?In this ENCORE episode, Marko and Steve dive into the often-taboo topic of masturbation within committed relationships. They explore how self-pleasure can be a healthy, personal form of sexual expression, even when one has an available and willing partner. The conversation navigates questions like: Should your partner fulfill all your sexual needs? Or is it reasonable—and even beneficial—for individuals to maintain a solo sexual practice? They address common misconceptions, emotional impacts, and how open communication plays a key role in balancing intimacy with personal autonomy. To wrap things up, they tackle the week's Listener Sh!tuation, offering their thoughts and guidance on a real life dilemma from the audience-Articles:Psych Central | Is It Typical to Masturbate When You're Married?Guy Stuff | Why Does My Husband Prefer His Hand Over Me?Support the showSh!t | Leave us a voicemail with your relationship sh!tuation at (903) POD- SHIT. That's (903) 763-7448. You can also fill out a Listener Sh!tuation on our website, podrelationshit.com, or email us at relationshitquestions@gmail.com. Visit Us |www.podrelationshit.com for more Relationsh!t content and information about the podcast.Donate | Head over to patreon.com/podrelationshit and start donating today! Your donations will give you early access to the podcast, behind-the-scenes interviews with our weekly guests, and merchandise.Rate Us | Go to your favorite podcast directory and give Relationsh!t a 5-Star rating, and a fantastic review!Follow Us | Instagram and Facebook: @podrelationshit
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Send us some Fan Mail? Yes please!With the holiday hangovers finally subsiding, and another week of shenanigans ramping up again, Khaleesi and Hermes finally sit down for another spicy counseling session covering all things Thanksgiving, South Park, COVID updates, and so much more. We hope you enjoy!.Subscribe, rate us 5, come join in all the other fun we offer, but most of all we hope you enjoy! If you liked this, and want to hear more, give us a follow and let us know! Or maybe you just want to tell us how awful we are? Comments help the algorithm, and we love to see ‘em! And as always, don't kill the messenger. Whiskey Fund (help support our podcast habit!): PayPalOur Patreon & YouTube Connect with Hermes: Instagram & Twitter Connect with Khaleesi: Instagram & Twitter Support the show
Allison's preparing her nails for the arrival of her baby. A listener writes in asking if it was a mistake not to settle down when they were younger. Then, therapist Emma Kazarian (Allison's other BFF) joins the show to talk about working as a relationship OCD therapist and couples therapist while having OCD herself. And in Topix, Allison is not looking forward to writing Thank You Notes.Check out all of our content on Patreon, Ad Free! Watch the full episodes of TLDRI, listen to the full episodes of The Variety Show, watch the International Question and Topix videos, join us for a monthly livestream, PLUS MORE:https://www.patreon.com/justbetweenusThis has been a Gallison ProductionProduced by Melisa D. Monts and Diamond MPrint ProductionsSupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/just-between-us/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Do you and your partner ever feel like you're speaking different languages?In this episode, America's leading therapist Jason VanRuler breaks down the five communication types that shape every relationship — and how to speak so that the other person truly feels loved, heard, and understood.We also dive into relationship renegotiation, emotional depth, parenting dynamics, workplace communication, and the science of emotional connection.⏱️ TIMESTAMPS0:00 — Most communication advice gets it wrong0:22 — Welcome back: conversation with Jason VanRuler1:10 — Why some people connect deeper, faster2:59 — The Who & Why: the emotional depth levels3:48 — The four levels of emotional understanding4:18 — Relationship renegotiation in marriage5:34 — Why honoring the “old way” stops growth6:35 — How to begin a renegotiation conversation7:32 — This applies in the workplace too8:41 — Intro to the 5 PATH communication types9:28 — The Peacemaker (P)9:28 — The Advocate (A)9:28 — The Thinker (T)9:28 — The Harbor (H)9:28 — The Spark (S)11:55 — Example: Jason is a Harbor, his wife is a Thinker12:50 — How polarity causes conflict13:18 — Why we connect easily with people like us13:32 — Why we marry our opposite14:20 — We love the difference first — then resent it14:57 — Creating the PATH assessment15:05 — Couples vs corporate application15:22 — Speaking to someone in their style, not yours16:00 — When does the assessment release?17:07 — What makes a healthy relationship?17:36 — Parent/child communication & differences19:53 — Estrangement and the refusal to validate perspectiveConnect with Jason:
Every couple argues…, but very few couples know how to turn conflict into closeness.In this episode of Reignite: Love, Sex & Truth for Conscious Couples (formerly known as Get Your Sexy Back Podcast for Couples), we explore why old hurts resurface, why the same arguments repeat, and how conscious repair brings your relationship into deeper emotional and erotic intimacy.They share vulnerable stories, body-based wisdom, and the exact practices that help couples rebuild trust, stay grounded, and reconnect even when the nervous system wants to shut down or push away.This conversation will support anyone ready to stop avoiding conflict and start healing what's underneath it. What You'll Hear in This EpisodeWhy do old hurts linger until they're witnessed, and why does your body repeat the same patterns in relationshipsWhat actually happens in your nervous system during conflict, and why small triggers create big reactionsHow avoidance builds resentment… and why repair, not time, is what truly softens woundsFor women: Why being heard, not fixed, restores safety and opens the body to deeper intimacyFor men: How fear of failure, rejection, and shutdown shapes the way they respond in conflictHow softening, grounding, and truth turn conflict into connectionWhat are simple, daily practices that help couples repair faster and reconnect more deeply than ever Conflict isn't a sign something's wrong… It's a sign that something deeper is ready to be healed, witnessed, and transformed into love. ✨ Save your spot for our upcoming February Couples Retreat: A sacred, guided experience for five couples ready to reconnect, heal, and reignite. Reserve your retreat spot here:
This week we're joined by Karie from SSY (She Said Yes) in Oklahoma—an incredible wedding planner who believes supporting couples emotionally is just as important as planning the details.
With the holidays approaching, we want to share a previous Holiday Extravaganza from our Episode Vault. Enjoy!
Believe that you can positively influence Text me at 972-426-2640 so we can stay connected!Support me on Patreon!Twitter: @elliottspeaksInstagram: @elliottspeakssomeone else's life, as we are social creatures. Text me at 972-426-2640 so we can stay connected!Support me on Patreon!Twitter: @elliottspeaksInstagram: @elliottspeaks
In 2025, how are couples meeting? How long do they date before getting engaged? Who proposes, when and how? What kind of ring are they proposing with and how much does it cost?In this week's episode, I'm diving into the data on 2025 engagements and giving my take on some of the emerging trends. The things I love (like more couples talking about marriage long before getting engaged), the things I hate (like the pressure to have an elaborate proposal) and the things that surprise me (people are visiting how many jewelry stores??), tune in to hear all about 2025 engagements - and see how yours compares! Have a wedding planning question or episode idea? Let me know what you want to hear! Fill out this quick form with your feedback and/or episode suggestions: https://forms.gle/ANxD6B9M4xzoReZ77The study: https://www.theknot.com/content/wedding-data-insights/real-weddings-study Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Meet J&K - An emotionally monogamous, yet swinging couple. I interview them (post playtime) about how they enjoy the lifestyle together, their advice to people joining the lifestyle, and how to brings their relationship even closer. Come to my fan page to see the live stream where I describe our sexy playtime in detail. Way too hot for YouTube
Disclaimer: We are not professionals. This podcast is opinioned based and from life experience. This is for entertainment purposes only. Opinions helped by our guests may not reflect our own. But we love a good conversation.In this episode of the 2 Be Better Podcast, Chris and Peaches break down a raw email from a newly married wife who is already thinking about leaving her husband, and they do not sugar coat a thing. You will hear real marriage advice on the first year of marriage, resentment and the mental load, division of labor in the home, expectations around being a “50s housewife,” body image, fitness before pregnancy, and why “he makes me feel like a piece of meat” might actually be a communication and perception problem, not proof that your man is a monster. They unpack groping versus affection, why your feelings are not the full story, what happens when you keep score over chores, and how couples slip into the roommate phase when they avoid direct, honest conversations about needs, kids, sex, and respect. If you are searching for first year of marriage advice, help with housework resentment, or real relationship coaching that calls out your own part in the dysfunction, this episode is for you. The second half dives into the conversations you must have before having children, from discipline, religion, diet and holidays, to college versus trade school, public school versus homeschool, and what it really means when both partners want full time careers while expecting grandma to run childcare and schooling. Chris and Peaches speak directly to working wives, stay at home mom hopefuls, firefighters' families, and neurodivergent couples navigating autism and ADHD, challenging you to think about postpartum, special needs, and what happens when your support system fails. You will get practical questions to ask each other before kids, a reality check on how children intensify whatever is already broken in your marriage, and a push to build a marriage centered on service, ownership, and intentional parenting, not fantasy and convenience. This is unfiltered relationship coaching, marriage advice for women and men, and a must watch if you want a strong marriage and a functional family, not just cute wedding photos and a baby announcement.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/2-be-better--5828421/support.
277. Breaking Through Addiction in Marriage with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith *DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults. 1 John 1:9 AMP "If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose].” *Transcription Below* Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth. Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach (ICF) with a background in pastoral leadership, while Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR practitioner, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through APSATS. Both hold Master of Divinity degrees and have served together on multiple church leadership teams. Currently, they co-lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team, where they specialize in helping couples rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy. Their passion for this work stems from their own journey of restoration. After experiencing the devastating effects of sexual addiction and betrayal in their marriage, Matthew and Joanna embarked on a years-long pursuit of reconciliation. This transformative experience led to the creation of tools like The Intimacy Pyramid™, a practical model for relational restoration and growth co-created with colleague Dan Drake. Their first book, Building True Intimacy (2023), has sold over 1,000 copies and provides practical guidance for couples to use the Intimacy Pyramid to create enduring connections. They also founded Renewing Us Recovery™, a comprehensive program designed to support couples in the later stages of relational restoration. In November 2025, they will host the inaugural Renewing Us Couples Retreat, offering workshops and connection opportunities for couples on similar paths of recovery and growth. Matthew and Joanna live in Memphis, Tennessee with their three young children. They prioritize self-care through shared adventures, new experiences, and a weekly game of pickleball. Free Resource Mentioned in Episode Building True Intimacy book Questions and Topics Discussed: What were the warning signs that you noticed when you were newlyweds that tipped you off to believing things weren't quite as they seemed? Are there any common life circumstances, whether nature or nurture, that predispose someone to be more likely to struggle with a sexual addiction? As couples seek to thrive in marriage, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid you wrote a book about? Other Episodes Mentioned During Episode: Pornography: Protecting Children, Personal Healing, Recovery, and Victory in Christ with Sam Black Pornography Addiction and Helpful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day Additional Related Episodes on The Savvy Sauce: Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder Stories Series: Recovery From Sexual Sin in Marriage with Garrett and Brenna Naufel Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Special Patreon Re-Release Wholehearted Quiet Time with Naomi Vacaro Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.” Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.” John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.” Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.” Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“ Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“ Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” *Transcription* Music: (0:00 – 0:12) Laura Dugger: (0:13 - 1:38) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here. Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message. Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com, or connect with them on Facebook. Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are my guests today. They are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Our conversation takes a few turns, from getting to hear their incredible and vulnerable story of healing and then getting tips for talking to our children about topics like sex, and also even receiving some practical wisdom and tips for enhancing our own marital enjoyment. Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Matthew and Joanna. Matthew Raabsmith: (1:39 - 1:40) So good to be here. Joanna Raabsmith: (1:40 - 1:42) So glad to be here. Thanks for having us. Laura Dugger: (1:42 - 1:51) Oh, truly my pleasure. And let's just start here. Can you share your story going back to meeting and falling in love and your first part of marriage? Matthew Raabsmith: (1:53 - 2:17) Sure, yeah. It was a little bumpy at first, actually. So, I knew Joanna through her brother. Joanna's brother was one of my best friends, and I got to meet her whenever she would come in town and visit, and she would invade guy night. He would usually bring her along to like a Lord of the Rings movie or something, and I would be a little frustrated because I would be like, oh, you brought your sister. Great. That's wonderful. Joanna Raabsmith: (2:18 - 2:24) A little off-putting, not super friendly. And I was like, your friend's kind of a jerk. We did not like each other at all in the beginning. Matthew Raabsmith: (2:24 - 2:54) Not big fans. And eventually over some time, we started to realize we had a lot in common. We liked to do a lot of the same things. And one summer that Joanna was in town, we started hanging out, started doing more and more together, and really just kind of developed a friendship, which was really fun. And at the very end of the summer, realized that there was something between us. And so, we went on one date. Our first date, we entered a golf tournament. We won it, and that was a good sign. Joanna Raabsmith: (2:54 - 2:55) That's a pretty good sign. Matthew Raabsmith: (2:55 - 3:02) And we went on three more dates over the course of two months and got engaged. Joanna Raabsmith: (3:03 - 3:07) And then two months after that, we got married. Matthew Raabsmith: (3:07 - 3:16) Yeah. So, her brother went from like, yeah, it's cool you date my sister, to like, you're not ready to get married. But he's come around now. Joanna Raabsmith: (3:17 - 3:19) 15 years later. Yeah. Matthew Raabsmith: (3:19 - 3:40) And, you know, a lot of it was, I think we had a definite sense of being kind of called together, being, you know, something special about who we were as a couple. And also, a recognition that we wanted to figure out what a good marriage looked like. We were really excited about marriage, but we didn't really know what we were doing. Joanna Raabsmith: (3:41 - 4:15) Yeah, I've had a really great model of healthy relationship. My parents have a wonderful marriage. They work really well as a team. And so, I knew, like, I want something like that. But as soon as we got married, we realized, but how do you actually build that? There's no, like, instruction manual for, okay, here are the things to do to have a great relationship. And so, we read books. We went to conferences. You know, we did what we could, but we still found ourselves getting stuck, not able to really create, like, that deep sense of, like, connection intimacy that we really wanted. Matthew Raabsmith: (4:15 - 5:17) And we started kind of hunting more and more for resources. We found some incredible resources that really changed our understanding of the way relationships work, the way people work, and really, for us, shifted our entire focus of kind of what we wanted to do, even with our life. And as we started to do that, though, we still kind of found ourselves at this kind of glass wall. We felt like no matter what we tried, there was always this kind of distance between us. And that started to grow kind of over the years that we were together. It wasn't getting better. It was actually kind of getting worse and worse and worse. And so, Joanna had actually decided to, after we finished our first grad degree together, the idea was we were going to go be pastors. And so, we had finished our kind of theological training. Joanna decided she wanted to get a master's in marriage and family therapy so we could do some work around marriages and ministry in that way. And her very first-class kind of just set our life in a completely different direction. Joanna Raabsmith: (5:17 - 6:26) Yes. So, my first class in the MFT program was a two-week intensive called Shame and Guilt. So, that's a really fun two-week intensive to be a part of. And as a part of that, though, they had an anonymous pastor come and share his testimony of struggling with sex addiction, becoming sober, getting into good recovery, healing and restoration in his marriage, kind of like that whole journey. And as he was talking, something inside of me started stirring. And I knew, OK, what he's saying is resonating way too much with me right now. I think this is the thing. This is what is keeping us stuck, not able to really create the relationship we want. And so, that day I went home and first I just kind of started talking about my class, what I learned, what this pastor had shared. Right. And nothing. Right. We're just kind of talking generally about it. And so, finally I couldn't do it anymore. And I just stopped and I looked him square in the eyes and I said, “Are you struggling with this in our marriage right now?” Matthew Raabsmith: (6:26 - 8:03) Yeah. And for the first time in my life, 20 years, I had been struggling with pornography, sexual addiction, and acting out in our marriage. And for the first time in my life, I was honest. I had lied for years, both with Joanna and everyone else. And the kind of floodgates just kind of opened up. And I finally said yes. And it was really hearing the story, I think, is what did it for me. I think it was knowing that somebody else had made it, that their life hadn't come crashing down because that was the greatest fear for me. That the moment anyone found this out, everything in my life would be over. Everything that I loved would be gone. And so, this kind of story of hope gave me a little bit of courage that day, to be honest. But that started a really long journey for us because there was a lot of damage that was done in both of my hiding. And now kind of this revelation, all the pain kind of came crashing down on Joanna and kind of her shoulders. And so, we started a quite intensive recovery process. We talked about it being kind of a full-time job. I went to recovery for my addiction and for kind of my acting out behaviors. Joanna had to begin a process of healing from the trauma of this discovery. And that process took us a number of years. It really was a long kind of arduous journey, but one that we ultimately survived and now thrive in our marriage and get the incredible luxury and the kind of gift of helping other couples do that. So, that's kind of where we find ourselves. Laura Dugger: (8:04 - 8:30) That is incredible. I just really appreciate you sharing your story. Clearly, stories are so powerful and that's what led to some healing for you and hopefully can open the floodgates for somebody else listening. So, if we go back in your story, then, Joanna, I'd love to start with you. What were some of those red flags in early marriage that things aren't quite as they seem? Joanna Raabsmith: (8:31 - 10:28) Yeah, there are a few. You know, I think that, you know, one of the pieces we kind of talked about, like, OK, we knew we're still getting stuck because there's 90 percent that felt really good. But then 10 percent that was extremely chaotic, really destructive. Right. We would get we call the pain cycles when we get emotionally dysregulated. And there would be some things that, right. Sometimes we would get into pain cycles, get dysregulated. And I kind of understand why. Right. Like something happened. There was the disagreement. But other times I couldn't put my finger on it. Right. Matthew would just get really angry and really shut down. And I wouldn't be able to connect it to anything that had happened in our life. And so, it was very confusing. It was really hard to understand what was going on. And I think kind of in the same way, when I would pull too close into that connection, that intimacy, he would pull back. Right. And it felt like even though we both named this goal and this desire, he would never actually partner with me in it. And so, again, that was really confusing because the actions were not matching up with reality and what was happening. And I think the other piece that was kind of true for us and true for a lot of other people is that our own sexual relationship was fraught with pain. And so, there was, again, a lot that was really good, but also a lot that was really painful and confusing. And some of the pieces just didn't connect. Right. And I would wonder, OK, what's going on? Well, I guess this is just the reality that like this is how much we get to expect in this area of our life, right. In our relationship. And so, it was when the pastor started describing his life and addiction and what that looked like emotionally, sexually, relationally. I was like, oh, those are all the things that I'm currently experiencing. Here's one thing that would answer all those questions that I have. And so, I think that was part of it. He kind of told me, like, OK, this is it. Laura Dugger: (10:28 - 11:00) That would be so eye opening. And my heart's going out to the couple who is maybe starting to identify with this. Was it and share whatever you're comfortable with from your story or the person's story who opened things up to you? So, sexually, I'm wondering if it was for you, Joanna, if you were hoping to connect sexually and that wasn't happening and that was confusing. You didn't feel pursued. But I don't want to fill in the blanks. So, could you elaborate? Joanna Raabsmith: (11:00 - 12:03) Absolutely. Yeah. And we find it a lot of different ways than couples that we work with. Right. And so, it can be sometimes on either side of the extreme. And so, for us, it was where there would be kind of times when he'd be fully present and interested and engaged. Right. And then all of a sudden, kind of like I described emotionally, he would just withdraw and not be there. And I would reach out to connect. And that was this like non-response. And which, again, didn't match up with those other times when he was engaged and wanting to connect. And he would give some sort of excuse that didn't totally make sense. Right. But I was kind of like, what else? What was I left with except that? So, I would kind of believe that and go with it, even though it didn't sit right. And so, yeah, I think that was part of it. We will see on the other side for some other couples. It's the opposite. And maybe that spouse is hypersexual in the relationship. Right. To the point where there might be pressure, even pressure to do things sexually that people aren't comfortable with. And so, yeah, it can look a lot of different ways. But that was kind of what our disconnect looked like. Laura Dugger: (12:04 - 12:33) That's so helpful. And there's two different directions I want to go, Matthew. So, I'll set it up. I guess I'm thinking of the guilt and shame and how those are usually so present. So, I have two questions. Were you when Joanna came to you, were you at a point where you recognize something was off and you wanted freedom from this and or had tried freedom before? Let's start with that and then I'll go into the other one. Matthew Raabsmith: (12:34 - 14:40) Yeah, it really was holy timing in a lot of ways. I, you know, for a lot of years I had I hated what I did. I didn't feel like I could stop it, but didn't have a lot of interest in kind of doing anything to stop it. I kind of just like would just say, “OK, this is going to be the last time.” And then, you know, of course it would come back. But I think at this point I had really started to see the damage that was happening to our relationship. I could feel us growing close, growing further apart. I could see kind of Joanna and the confusion that she was having. And like she couldn't understand things. She would ask me a lot of questions that I didn't have answers to. And so, I actually a couple of months earlier, we were at a worship service, and they had said like, “hey, if you are ready to give something up, if you feel like there's something holding you back, come forward and confess it.” And Joanna and I were sitting next to each other, and I remember feeling like the Holy Spirit just like pulling me to like get up out of my seat and I wouldn't move. I was like, no, because she's going to ask me what I went down for. I'm going there's you know, there's a random kind of prayer partner at the front. I'm like, I'm not going and confessing this to some random person. And so, I was ready. But I think like I said, I think there was no path forward. It was kind of confess this and everything stops and ends. But everything like marriage ends, life ends. And so, when she when she brought this, it really did feel like God had kind of been answering a prayer that I've been praying of like, if you give me a way out, I'll take it. I'm desperate. I want it to stop. And it felt like that. I think it was both this kind of terror and this hope that day. And even when I said, yes, it was a little bit like, what have I done? Like, could this have been different? Should I have just gone and told someone else privately? Right. But I think ultimately that it was out between the two of us and that we kind of knew it. We knew what we were dealing with made a huge difference. But I mean, God had been working in my life, offering opportunities for so long. I just been saying no, no, no. And then finally, you know, I think my heart just broke and it was like, yes, OK, I'm ready for this. Laura Dugger: (14:40 - 15:14) I love how the Holy Spirit equipped you with that humility and courage to be brave in that moment. And it's such a blessing for all of us to get to see the end or I guess not the end of the story, but you at this point in your story where you're thriving. And so, I hope that offers a lot of hope to people listening. But let's also pause. And so, going back further in time, Matthew, this was the other part of my question. What was life and attachment and your growing up journey like? Matthew Raabsmith: (15:15 - 18:09) Yeah, I didn't know that at the time. Right. I a lot of this I figured out in the last couple of years of recovery. You know, if you would have asked me, you know, as I was growing up about my life, I would have told you I had the perfect family. I had the perfect life. I think I did not realize that some of the things that I was going through weren't perfect, were harder. And part of that was because I think the way my family dynamic worked was we just swept everything under the rug. You know, whatever happened, we just kind of went, OK, and moved on from. And I learned to do that as a kid. And that meant a lot of emotional chaos. There was a lot of physical chaos and kind of volatility in our house growing up. And even though I had parents who are still married to this day, have stayed together and have tried to create kind of a stable life. There was a lot of emotional and kind of relational instability. We moved around a lot. And then once we started moving, I found myself more and more kind of isolated at school. I started dealing with bullying and some things that really kind of left me not knowing how to deal with the pain that I was going through. And so, my way of stuffing things under the rug was getting, you know, escaping, you know, kind of escaping into anything that I could. I watched a lot of TV. I was a latchkey kid, so I would come home. I'd watch TV a lot in the afternoon and then TV kind of just turned to more and more. And I was exposed pretty young to pornography, actually at a church camp. I was at a summer church camp. Someone brought a Playboy magazine, and I was exposed to pornography. And I kind of felt that high, that rush. And that just became kind of a mode of my escape. Right. Of whatever I could do to engage sexually, whether with my mind or with others. That's how I could get out of the pain I was in. That's how I could stop feeling kind of the chaos that I was having and not realizing that it was becoming this kind of adaptive habit, that it would just be this thing I would go back to more and more. And I grew up at a time that technology was still emerging. So, I can remember when we got our first computer and no one was talking about safeguards or anything. And so, it was just kind of exposure. Here you go. Here's everything you could ever want and don't need. And that really became my life. And the more and more that I did, the better and better I got at lying and hiding and even being kind of vulnerable in kind of fake ways. I would mention things like, yeah, we all have this struggle. And even Joanna, I had told like, you know, that was a struggle of mine in the past, but I've moved on from it. Right. I told myself and other people just kind of lie after lie after lie so that I could have really this double life. I could appear one way and then I could be acting a completely different way, kind of in the dark. Laura Dugger: (18:10 - 20:41) Yeah. And that makes sense. I'm thinking back to two episodes. We did one with a male, Sam Black from Covenant Eyes, and he speaks so much of the origins of pornography and that foothold that Satan gets. And so many times it is in childhood, unwittingly you're exposed and then what it can turn into. And then Crystal Renaud Day came on to share a lot of females struggle with this as well. And so, I'll link to those if those are a help. And now a brief message from our sponsor. 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For me, I had to figure out what had really gone on in my life and what was really happening. Because, like I said, I had become such an expert at hiding from myself and others that I didn't really know how to live any other way. And so, I, you know, Joanna kind of handed me a list of everything this pastor had done. She was like, here you go. Right. She kind of handed me that list and was like, good luck. And so, I dove in. I went to a men's intensive. And I think that was probably one of the key places for me to tell my story for the first time. I really took a look at my life and had some people help me take a look and recognize the trauma that I had as a kid exposure that I had experienced and what that really meant to me and helped me understand what I was doing. But also, kind of what I was doing to myself, how I was really kind of killing myself from the inside out and preventing myself from having the kind of relationship I wanted with God and other people. And so, that discovery was in really ways kind of invigorating for me. I felt like I was living for the first time. I think I had started to kind of get out of this kind of burden, this fear of always being caught. I told Joanna kind of the history of everything that had happened in my life and our relationship. And so, I was feeling this kind of renewed sense of like energy and excitement of like, this is good. I want this life. I want the life there that I'm not in constant kind of fear and in constant kind of connection to this thing I hate. And so, which is really different than what Joanna was experiencing. Joanna Raabsmith: (22:30 - 25:07) Yeah. So, for me, it was very jarring in the beginning. Everything I thought was real came crashing down around me. And that was especially jarring because I had left kind of the direction, the path that I was on. Right. We talked about our story earlier. It included two months of dating, two months of engagement before we got married. And that also included me dropping out of law school, getting married and moving to California to pursue a ministry degree so we could work as pastors together or do something together. And so, in that moment, all of that came crashing down. And I kind of was very lost, not just in our relationship, but in kind of what in the world am I even doing here? What am I going to do moving forward if he doesn't choose recovery? Right. And so, just all of those question marks, all in that one moment of him answering that question affirmative. And so, so there was like that heaviness on one side and then on the other side was this relief of finally everything I've been experiencing makes sense. Right. Finally, I feel like I actually know what's going on. And because of that, there could maybe be a path forward for us as well. So, is this very, very weird dichotomy in that moment? And so, but I think I knew right away, like, I can't be vulnerable. I can't be intimate with him anymore. Right. I have to step back in our relationship and wait and see what he chooses to do. Is he going to choose to do the work of recovery and get healthy and start to be honest and safe or not? And so, that's so we kind of did kind of there's some space for a very long period of time while we focused on our own individual recoveries. And that, again, was a little bumpy for me. This is over a decade ago. And so, there is very little information about what partners experience. We call it betrayal trauma, and that just wasn't a very common word at the time. And so, some of the resources I plugged into came from a more we would call it codependent, co-addict focus, which just really didn't fit. So, I struggled to find resources that felt like they fit for my journey. But once I did, it all again, my own healing process started to make sense. And it was so like freeing and liberating to understand. Like, oh, OK, this is what I'm going through. This is why I feel this way. This is what it looks like to heal and move forward. And so, kind of beginning that process was so important because then when Matthew was kind of in a healthy, safe place, I was as well, and we can start to step in towards each other on that kind of more couples' journey at that point. Laura Dugger: (25:07 - 25:17) I love how you did that wisely, though, separate first, not rushing into couples at that time. Absolutely. Matthew Raabsmith: (25:18 - 26:33) Appreciate you calling it wise. I think we were terrified. Yeah, we'll take God's help. I think he was like, you guys just work on your own stuff for a while. And in some ways, like I said, it was we didn't know what we were doing. But I think we knew we wanted there to be a future between the two of us. But we knew it had to be completely different in some ways than what we had before, which was scary because we liked what we had before. Like we had a really great marriage in many ways. Right. There was this portion of it, this hidden portion that was really infecting and killing it all. But what we did have together, we didn't want to totally lose. It just was really hard to know, especially early on, what's going to come forward. Like, who are we still going to be as we go forward? Are we still going to be a couple who does things together? Right. Who works together? Or is that all kind of going to have to be different? Is that the only way that we have kind of moving forward? And so, that was that was probably the hardest part was having like this sense of like not wanting to lose us. We were like, if we lost that, that was going to be miserable. And I think a lot of our work was about how do we eventually reclaim this marriage that we want, that we love? Laura Dugger: (26:34 - 27:04) Yes, because from what I'm sensing, you're friends with each other, you're on purpose or on mission with God. He did a course correction change, putting you on this path to help couples. But your desire to work together, it's like He still honored that in the ministry of reconciliation. And I'm assuming abundantly blessed it beyond what you could ever dreamed up what we're doing now. Joanna Raabsmith: (27:04 - 27:42) Right. It's been amazing to see what God has done, how he's used our story, which is so fitting because it was someone sharing their story that brought our healing. And I think because of that and it wasn't right away; it took some time to get to the place where we felt open to God using our story to bring healing to others. But we found as we stepped into that, that we have received such a blessing. Right. And just being able to sit with other couples in that journey and see them go from that place of pain and confusion to this place of restoration and thriving. Like there is no better work that we could have imagined for ourselves. Laura Dugger: (27:42 - 28:09) Love that. And really, you did have to pioneer a path. There weren't many resources at that time. So, that's another reason I'm grateful you can share your story, because I hope it unlocks freedom for others. So, if we're turning more outward now and you're helping as you work with couples, how do you help them identify the difference between sexual struggles and sexual addiction? Matthew Raabsmith: (28:10 - 30:15) Yeah, that's a great question. And I think that it really kind of exists on a spectrum. And so, everything kind of exists under what we call problematic sexual behavior or unwanted sexual behavior. Whenever someone is acting in a way sexually that doesn't align with their values. And then the question is, is how often, how compulsive, right? How habituated, right? How really embedded is that practice? Because the more and more embedded it is and the more and more that I continue to act on that, seeing the damage that it's doing, that's really what qualifies as the addiction. The addiction is when I know that this is causing harm and I and I feel that even though I want to stop it and I've tried to stop. Right. I can't stop the 12 steps has a great line. They say addicts, you know, addicts have no problem stopping. It's staying stopped. That's hard for an addict. Right. And so, that's usually a sign that there's an addiction. And really what that means is that just means that I'm going to have to be even more kind of thorough and scrupulous in my willingness to change a lot. Because if I have built an addictive lifestyle, that means everything I do kind of functions to support that lifestyle. Right. And so, my part of that was this hiding. I lied about everything. I would lie about anything just to make sure that I was in control of the narrative. And so, for me, it was recognizing that if I was going to move forward free of my addiction, then it had to begin with honesty, with this kind of radical honesty and transparency and growing in that consistently, because that was the way that I manifested this addiction and kind of kept it going. And so, that's really what the addiction is about, is recognizing what are the kind of pieces in my life that are supporting this addiction to continue to exist? And how is God going to dismantle those things? Right. And how am I going to be a part of that dismantling? Laura Dugger: (30:16 - 30:33) That's well said. And also, I'm curious, are there any common life circumstances, whether that's nature or nurture, that are more likely to predispose someone to more likely have this struggle with sexual addiction? Matthew Raabsmith: (30:34 - 32:30) I mean, there are, I think, you know, the things that we tend to look for are trauma and trauma comes in so many different forms. So, trauma is more it's rare that it's a single event. It's often more a kind of consistent occurrences. As I mentioned, you know, I can't speak to kind of one event in my life that I say this was the traumatic moment in which everything changed. But it was more of the chaos. And so, I grew up in a family that could be really, really, really loving and incredibly encouraging and fun and silly and in a heartbeat switch into one that was verbally and physically just chaotic and terrifying. And it was that chaos that kept me on edge. What it did was it created in me kind of a system of always wanting to be on high alert. And that would exhaust me. That would kind of wear me out. And I would want to kind of numb that kind of feeling away. And so, I think those traumas, I do think early exposure. Right. I mean, I was exposed early before my brain was ready to really understand what it was dealing with. And I think the third component that we often see is a low level or a kind of really a void of sexual education. There was I'm sure I had a small talk with my dad at some point, but we were not talking about pornography. We weren't talking about bodies. We weren't talking about sex from a kind of healthy, good way. I grew up in the church, and it was kind of don't do this until you're married and then you'll be fine. Right. That was the sexual education message. And so, those things, right, trauma, exposure and lack of kind of education usually forms in someone a difficulty of knowing what they're doing, knowing that it's destroying them before it's really kind of gotten a deep hole. Joanna Raabsmith: (32:30 - 33:20) I think like the brain. The brain aspect to when we talk about addiction, there are usually chemicals involved in addiction being formed, being created. And so, I think also co-occurring disorders, right, that emotional pain, also things like anxiety, depression, ADHD, where my brain really likes the dopamine it gets from sexual acting out. Right. And you can actually need it to feel OK. That can also be a factor in kind of especially that addictive side of these behaviors. When my brain gets really attached to that dopamine release that it's getting because maybe I have some other things going on or I just have emotional pain. I don't know what to deal with, how to handle it, how to regulate that in a healthy way. Laura Dugger: (33:20 - 34:30) There's so many good points there. I'll just highlight one because there's a profound piece that you were talking about with early exposure to evil and the corruption of it is extremely harmful. And yet not being exposed to God's good design for sex and hopefully being coached by our parents, that is both of those play a part in the addiction. And so, I'm thinking even as we shift to think about parents, I know I've had parents come to me and just say, I don't want to talk about this with my kids. I don't want to rob their innocence. And my approach is if God made it, this is good. We can talk to them. You're not robbing their innocence when you're sharing the good age-appropriate parts of sex. And it's so great to be that first one to share with them. And I think it does the opposite of what we would expect. We're afraid that that might make them hyper sexualized. But would you speak to that? Any encouragement for parents? Matthew Raabsmith: (34:30 - 36:37) Yeah, it's tricky. I mean, even as parents, we've got kids and its still kind of navigating it. But I do think what it does is it lets someone learn the things they need to in the timeline they need to. I think part of one of the things is that, you know, really good sexual education starts young. I mean, they start six and seven years old or even younger, just talking about our bodies. Right. Because I think that's part of it. Really, this is about understanding the goodness of our bodies. This body was created by God, the maker of heaven and earth, and he called it good. And so, I think part of a good sexual education begins with that. And then, what's really nice is once you've started the conversation, that means if your children are exposed or if they're presented with things that don't line up with what they've been hearing, they now feel safe to come and talk about that. Because that's really what this was about. I didn't feel safe to talk about what I was exposed to, what people were doing. Right. And what people were encouraging me to engage in. And so, you know, my parents would ask me how it's going. I would not tell them anything because it wasn't a conversation that they were having with me. And so, I didn't think it was a conversation I was going to have with them. And so, that meant that as I found myself further and further away from my values, I felt like, who am I going to share this with? And so, part of having the conversation is it normalizes with our kids that this is OK to talk about, which is actually what adults need. I mean, part of our work with couples as adults, we have to get them talking about sex and body parts. I mean, it's amazing to have 30, 40, and 50-year-olds in our offices and in our sessions. And they're so uncomfortable. Right. They don't want to talk about sex. They don't want to talk about their bodies. They don't want to talk about what their bodies do. Right. And we keep being like, this is God's good stuff. Right. There is goodness here. But you have to begin by talking about it. Right. Having these conversations. Joanna Raabsmith: (36:38 - 37:54) I tell all the parents I work with, your kids are going to pick up a narrative about what sex is and what sexuality is, whether you want them to or not. And so, would you rather be the first person to step in and give them a healthy view, a healthy narrative to understand? Right. And this is beyond kind of the nuts and bolts that everything our kids are learning. They're trying to find a deeper meaning. They don't think it's unconscious when they're young. Right. But they're taking it and they're going, what meaning does this have for me? How does this inform my self-worth, my view of my own value as a human in my body? And how does it inform my experience of the world and my safety in the world? And am I empowered to make decisions? Am I connected? Do I belong? Right. All of those questions are asking. And so, as they're confronted with issues of sexuality, it's going to inform those things. And the world will not give them a healthy narrative about it. Right. And so, being able as a parent to step in and give them that healthy meaning, that narrative, that understanding of their worth and their safety as they're piecing together kind of sexuality, again, at that age-appropriate level is so important. Laura Dugger: (37:54 - 38:30) Guess what? We are no longer an audio only podcast. We now have video included as well. If you want to view the conversation each week, make sure you watch our videos. We're on YouTube and you can access videos or find answers to any of your other questions about the podcast when you visit thesavvysauce.com. And I love that you're talking about this with couples you work with. So, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid that you actually wrote a book about and you teach to couples? Joanna Raabsmith: (38:30 - 38:31) Absolutely. Matthew Raabsmith: (38:31 - 39:15) Yeah. I mean, it was born out of our journey because, as you said, we wandered for a while and we felt a little bit like Israel, just kind of, you know, knowing that the Promised Land was out there, but never really feeling like we could find it. And when we started to piece together, I think the kind of relationship that we had dreamed of reclaiming, we really ask ourselves, how can we make this a more direct, a simpler process, not just for couples who went through what we went through, but really for any couple who's hungry for this, for the couple like us when we were first starting. It really wants an amazing marriage. And so, we really focused on a kind of simplistic idea of what are the core kind of foundational levels of building really healthy intimacy. Joanna Raabsmith: (39:16 - 40:10) Yeah. So, the intimacy pyramid, it's actually a triangle. There's a visual that goes along with it. So, if you imagine the different levels of the triangle, very similar to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, starting at the bottom, you have to start with honesty. And so, we definitely experienced that reality in our own relationship. Right. This is something we learned from Couples in Betrayal, but like Matthew said, we realized this is where every couple starts. Am I willing to be fully open, fully honest and transparent in this relationship? Am I being my authentic self? Right. And after that level of honesty, that's when we start to build safety. And that has to do with our ability to communicate in really healthy, constructive ways. Even when it's hard, even when we're disagreeing, even when we feel like yelling at each other. Are we able to show up with that belief that we both have the same goal? We're trying to build something together. Matthew Raabsmith: (40:10 - 41:57) And with honesty and safety, that's where we get to work on trust as a couple. That's that next level. And trust is where we start to be more partners, where we're really starting to kind of lean in, work together, kind of be courageous and saying, “Hey, this isn't just my life anymore, right?” This is our life together. And as that trust is established, this is what allows for the incredible work of vulnerability. And there's been all these studies about vulnerability over the last few years and how important it is. What we recognize, though, is vulnerability on top of nothing is actually really risky and kind of even dangerous. It's vulnerability that's built on healthy trust where we step in and we do share some of those deeper pains in those wounds, those fears. We start to really heal some of those kind of early traumas that we experience. It's in that vulnerability. That's what allows a couple to be truly intimate. And it's when they've worked through each of these levels, what we find is these couples, when they reach this kind of this intimacy level, they're passionate about who they are as a couple. They love kind of their relationship itself. They have a purpose to it. They have a sense that like our marriage, our relationship exists for a reason, but they're also really playful. They're silly. They're really kind of comfortable in their own skin. And it's those five levels really working together that allows them to experience a relationship that gives life. I think one of the things we know is that when God creates, it gives life. And so, God created marriage not to burden us, right? Not to kind of, you know, not even just to get us through, you know, kind of surviving life, but actually to bring more life. Right. And not just life within the relationship itself, but life outside of it. Laura Dugger: (41:58 - 42:22) Oh, I love it. And you're also working with couples. I've heard you speak before about the working on offering your spouse the gift of self-awareness. And so, what could couples expect? How do you actually work with them to grow in self-awareness and recognize things like the emotional process they go through in marriage? Joanna Raabsmith: (42:22 - 43:48) Absolutely. So, awareness. So, in our book, we obviously detail the intimacy period much more. And that's Building True Intimacy is the name of the book. But each of those levels we just walked through have different components that go into that. And awareness is kind of like one of the most important components of that honesty foundation. So, we have to start with awareness and we can't really build anything if there's a lack of self-awareness. And so, when we work with couples, one of the first places we start is we kind of look at the past. Are they aware of what they've been through, what those experiences are, and how those experiences have shaped them into the person that is now in the present, showing up with their spouse. Right. And so, once I start to have that insight from my past, from those experiences, how they shape me, I can better understand my present. What are the things that I feel and why do I feel those things in particular? Right. And then when I feel those things in a relationship, and these are typically those kind of heavier, more challenging, more painful emotions. How do I respond? How am I showing up? Because the reality is that all of us cope with emotional pain the same way we cope with physical pain. We go into fight or flight. That part of our brain gets triggered and we respond with these kind of destructive relational coping behaviors that then hurt my partner. Matthew Raabsmith: (43:48 - 46:22) Yeah. Like, for example, I told you about that chaos I experienced as a kid. And so, those would always happen around conflicts. My parents would disagree about something. There would be some type of argument about, you know, and it could be anything where we were going for dinner or what color the curtains were. Right. But it would create this chaotic environment. So, as I got married, the thing that I didn't like the least was any type of conflict. Joanna and I would get in when I could sense us disagreeing and we are both passionate. We have opinions and we believe things and we get into this kind of disagreement and argument. It would freak my system out. And I didn't realize that because I didn't really know my past. I didn't know what was going on. I would just really do anything to shut it down. I get angry and I try to get loud, or I just walk away in the middle of a conversation. As Joanna was talking, I would just leave the room and my acting out was just a further manifestation of that kind of leaving the relationship. And so, part of my healing journey was to learn about my story and recognize, oh, OK, I can see what's happening. And what's really interesting is it still happens in our life today. I've been in recovery for 12 years. I still feel the same things. Now it's more like when my kids are getting involved. Right. And there's energy in the room and people are online. And then I go, oh, yeah, there it is. There's my system again. It's starting to feel unsafe. It's starting to feel alone. And I know what it wants to do. It wants to get angry, or it wants to just shut down and walk away. And what's incredible is that we've learned the ability to see where we're at but also speak directly to that. And so, what I get to do for myself now is I get to go, “OK, I know I'm feeling unsafe and I know I'm feeling alone. And I know I want to get angry to solve it, but it won't do it. But here's the truth. The truth is that I'm safe in God's economy. I'm empowered. I have an incredible partner in my life. I've never been alone. I've always had someone there for me. And Joanna is the perfect example of that.” And that totally changes my sense of really kind of where I am. And it changes how I show up. I tend to be much more calm. I ask questions rather than make demands. And it's that ability to kind of see where we're at and shift. That's just been such a game changer for our family and just for our own relationship. We still have to work on it. You know, it doesn't always look that pretty. Right. But when we do, it's amazing how different it goes. Laura Dugger: (46:24 - 46:44) And then I just think of the generational impacts that has when people are willing to do the work. And so, if there's a brave couple out there who wants to seek their own help and healing, can you share where they can go for help, including the Raabsmith team and all that you have to offer? Matthew Raabsmith: (46:46 - 47:30) Yeah, you know, we would love them to connect with us because I think one of the things we recognize was having guides along the way. I mean, we had to figure a lot out ourselves, but we also had some really incredible guides, some mentors, some coaches, some therapists. And so, we always just say, hey, connect with us. You can find us at raabsmithteam.com. We have a heart for couples who want restoration and reconciliation because that's what we're getting to live and experience. And what's cool is our whole team, they're couples who've been through this work, but who also have been professionally trained to help other couples to just continue to guide and to grow relationships so that they're thriving and they're kind of giving that life. Joanna Raabsmith: (47:30 - 48:10) Absolutely. We also love to give out resources. And so, we have the kind of we call it the honest connection. And so, again, if you're starting this journey or even this is for any couple who wants deeper connection, deeper intimacy, learning how to do that on a daily basis in small ways is so important. And so, we have a worksheet that couples can take and use. We're happy to provide that for them for free and kind of try this for 30 days and notice the changes that you experience in your relationship. And so, that's a great starting point wherever you are in relationship to begin that journey of connection. Matthew Raabsmith: (48:10 - 48:14) And you just go to raabsmithteam.com/free and that resource is all yours. Laura Dugger: (48:15 - 48:26) Wonderful. Add links for that in the show notes for today's episode. And is this then for any couple worldwide, nationwide? Can you work with people? Matthew Raabsmith: (48:27 - 48:55) We have we've got couples across the world, which is really fun. It's been really neat just to see the way that God has used our work. One of the things when we first started this journey, we started getting couples calling us saying, “Hey, I don't have anybody in my area that specializes in this, that understands this journey. Can I work with you?” And so, we kind of felt a calling to say we want to make sure that we connect with people wherever they are. And so, absolutely. If you can hear our voice, you can work with us. Laura Dugger: (48:55 - 49:14) I love that. And just as a little bonus practical tip, you kind of mentioned being proactive to thriving in marriage. Is there any encouragement that you could share or a specific practical tip that anybody could start to incorporate if they want to take their marriage to that thriving level? Matthew Raabsmith: (49:15 - 50:12) Yeah, I think just the ability to slow down. We have a nine, seven and six-year-old. We own our own business, and we like life and life can get incredibly fast. And I think what we have found is when, as I was mentioning, when I learned the ability just to slow down, even if I don't fully just know myself slowing down and checking in, just where am I at right now? Where's my heart? Right. Where do I want to be? I think I realize that so often my values and my actions aren't aligned when I'm moving too quickly. I'm not being the person that I want to be. And we see that in so many couples. We meet so many couples and there are two really great people who have a hard time working together. They have a hard time kind of being a team. And it's usually because they're working so fast. They don't realize they're kind of working against each other. So, slowing down, I think, is such a big thing. Joanna Raabsmith: (50:12 - 51:18) Another piece that's, again, really easy to start right away. A lot of couples we work with, and I think probably even us when we start a relationship, was there were two individuals in a relationship, and it was kind of either me or you. And starting to understand there's this third thing between you, the relationship. There's a third almost entity that really needs care. It needs nurture. It needs you to focus on its needs from time to time. And so, beginning to approach the day, even approach conversations with this question of like, what does our relationship need right now? And even as you're trying to make decisions, what is the way we can decide this in a way that's good for our relationship or what decision benefits our relationship rather than does it benefit you or me? Because when you get into that struggle, it can become a competition. It can become transactional really quickly. So, starting to ask that question, starting to talk about the needs and caring for the relationship very intentionally can be a way to shift that. Laura Dugger: (51:20 - 51:38) Thank you for sharing that. I think that leads into my last question, because you already know we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for both of you, Matthew and Joanna, what is your savvy sauce? Matthew Raabsmith: (51:39 - 52:22) I kind of mentioned this, but I think it's the willingness to be honest. I was so willing to lie to myself and kind of really hide from other people. And I didn't even know that I was doing it. But as I have learned to be more honest in really kind of healthy ways, right. You can dump, you can whine, you can complain, you can get angry. But truly being honest meant just looking at what I was feeling and trying to kind of figure that out and name that. As I have learned that ability to be honest with myself and with others, it has just opened up a new world of possibilities. And it has shown me how many people care for me; how much God cares for me. So, I think that honesty is something I just want to practice more and more every day. Joanna Raabsmith: (52:22 - 53:30) I think for me, just in my own journey and working with so many partners, that importance of being able to make empowered decisions in my life. Right. That I am really intentionally choosing the direction I'm going in life. Realizing that instead of going into this more helpless, powerless victim stance is such a difference. And really the only thing that changes a lot of times is mindset. You don't have to overhaul your entire life. Right. You have to add in like four hours of self-care and all of these things. But starting to shift that mindset into, wait, I have power in the decisions I make. And one of the ways that's really important to do that is growing that self-awareness. I cannot make empowered decisions if I'm not aware of where I'm at emotionally, physically, spiritually. Right. If I'm not aware of my needs on a regular basis. And so, slowing down to check those things in, sometimes even multiple times in the day if you're not used to that. So, you're more connected to yourself, to what you need, what you want. So, you can start making those empowered decisions. Laura Dugger: (53:32 - 54:00) I love that. It's just so enjoyable to host a very lively couple who's humble and you've done your work. And then you're willing to share all this overflow of goodness with all of us. So, I think my prayer is that the Lord would richly bless you for this open-handed generosity of wisdom and your story and experience that you've shared with us and modeled for us today. So, thank you to both of you for being my guest. Joanna Raabsmith: (54:00 - 54:03) Thank you so much. It's a joy being here. Laura Dugger: (54:05 - 57:47) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news. Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved. We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him. That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin. This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you. Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray. Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him. And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started. First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it. You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you. We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process. And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today. And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.
As we enter the Advent season, we pause to remember the beautiful rhythms God gives us through the four candles of Advent—Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love—all pointing us toward the final candle: the Light of Christ. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, we are invited to not only celebrate these truths but to practice them in our daily life, our relationships, and our marriages.In this podcast, Dan and Stephanie will guide you through how each Advent theme can become a spiritual anchor for your heart and your neurodiverse marriage. Christmas50Use this code on special courses selected for 50% off!https://www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com/coursesCourses included:Struggling to ConnectAutism & NeurobiologyAutism Female PhenotypeMarriage & Family 22 sessions
Most people think the goal with mismatched libidos is making the lower-desire partner want more of the sex you've been having—or making the higher-desire partner want less. But that's not it. And it wouldn't work anyway. I walk through the actual goals when you're healing a desire gap. They boil down to maximizing sexual compatibility, emotional connection, and quality of communication, then deciding how to manage whatever gap, if any, is left over. This means focusing first on better quality sex, real emotional connection, and removing what's blocking desire. Then making clean decisions together. Plus, we'll talk about why magic bullets or quick fixes don't work, and what does. Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences (Without Blame or Shame), A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido Find out more about me at https://laurajurgens.com/
Does confidence really grow with age? Anna and Raven discuss the best decade of their lives, and if they really enjoy life more as it goes on! It's back! The Anna and Raven Santa Tipline! Santa needs to know who's naughty, and who's nice. Call and leave a message 24/7 and you may hear yourself on the air. Call 888-702-9646 to leave a message for the Big Guy! Secretly unwrapping a gift you dislike is a fine line between honesty and staying polite. Anna and Raven unpack the awkward part of opening something you wish you hadn't. Abba's return in stranger things, Black Friday deals outdoing Cyber Monday deals, and when to toss those leftovers are all discussed in today's trending. Anna's husband streamed the football game right at the Thanksgiving dinner table-rude or harmless? Anna and Raven weigh in on right and wrong table etiquette. Anna mentions how long (or not) it takes for her dad to mention politics at the Thanksgiving dinner table- and how quick she is to leave once this conversation starts. Raven exposes his grandpa-in-laws very unpleasant mashed potatoes. Couples court- Derek bought his 18-year-old son a small boat over the Black Friday weekend because their local hunting and sporting store was having a promotion. He financed it. Their son had joked that it would be the Christmas present of his lifetime if he ever got it. Derek felt that his son deserved the gift because of his grades, effort around the house, and just being a good kid overall. Almost like a last “hurrah” as he gets ready to move forward in the next steps of his life. His wife, Jen, feels that the gift is too expensive due to their current financial situation and that she was laid off a few weeks ago, and he never even checked with her! Derek still feels that it would give the family a great moment during a challenging time and it's a low APR! Plus, they could all use it. She says that if he can still return it because it's not scheduled to be delivered for two weeks. Whose side are you on? Joanne has a chance to win $200! All she has to do is answer more pop culture questions than Raven in Can't Beat Raven!
Meisha Marshall, Renew Mindset Coaching, on Rebuilding Trust and Connection for Adult Children of Divorce (North Fulton Business Radio, Episode 916) On this episode of North Fulton Business Radio, host John Ray welcomes Meisha Marshall, a marriage and relationship coach and the founder of Renew Mindset Coaching, where she helps couples argue less, trust more, and […]
Meisha Marshall, Renew Mindset Coaching, on Rebuilding Trust and Connection for Adult Children of Divorce (North Fulton Business Radio, Episode 916) On this episode of North Fulton Business Radio, host John Ray welcomes Meisha Marshall, a marriage and relationship coach and the founder of Renew Mindset Coaching, where she helps couples argue less, trust more, and […]
In this episode of the Operation: Thriving Marriage podcast, Bryon and Jennifer Harvey dive into a hard but essential truth about relationships: if you love someone long enough, you're going to hurt them. Not because you're cruel—not because something is wrong with your marriage—but because you are human. Whether the hurt comes from unspoken expectations, careless words, misunderstandings, or small selfish moments, every couple will face emotional pain. But the good news? Healthy, Christ-centered marriages don't break under hurt—they grow through it. Bryon and Jen unpack how couples can move from hurt to healing by staying emotionally present, listening with patient love, resisting the urge to get defensive, and remembering that the foundation of your marriage is Jesus.
Does DIY-ing your wedding flowers and styling actually save you money—or does it quietly steal your time, your sanity, and maybe even hijack your dream look without you even realising it?In this episode, two of my long-time colleagues and trusted Adelaide wedding pros, Emily from The Modern Approach and Gabrielle from She Runs Wild Flowers, join the conversation to share what really goes on behind those seemingly simple Pinterest-worthy setups that DIY couples try to recreate. You'll hear about the hidden tasks behind the styling and flowers that no one tells you about, the logistics that blindside most DIY couples in the final 48 hours, and why some vendor quotes can look wildly different even when they seem to include “the same thing.”And, at the end, if you still love the idea of doing it yourself, Gabrielle and Emily also share how to get professional-level results on a DIY budget, no matter where you are in the world, while avoiding the most common mistakes that they see. Resources Mentioned:The Modern Approach (Emily for planning & styling): www.themodernapproach.com.au/The Modern Approach on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themodernapproach_/She Runs Wild Flowers (Gabrielle for floristry): https://www.sherunswild.com.au/She Runs Wild Flowers on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sherunswildflowers/Send Unbridely a 90-second audio message on Speakpipe: https://www.speakpipe.com/unbridelypodcast*The Unbridely Podcast is sponsored by its listeners. When you purchase products or services through links on our website or via the podcast, we may earn an affiliate commission.*------This episode of the Unbridely Modern Wedding Planning Podcast is brought to you by Never Miss Moments Unbridely's recommended wedding guest photo and video-sharing tool. With your unique QR code, your family and friends can quickly, easily and securely share their snaps with you in your personalised online gallery.Visit nevermissmoments.com/unbridely to receive your 10% discount on your gallery.-----Unbridely acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we record this podcast on, the Kaurna People. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.Support the showFollow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unbridely/or TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@unbridelyEmail the Unbridely Podcast:hello@unbridely.com
When Nava Kavelin (host of Podcrushed) lost weight at 16, the shift in how the world treated her was immediate and jarring. She went from being invisible to having 10 boys aggressively pursuing her. She joins Nicole to unpack the complicated resentment of suddenly becoming "visible" to people who previously looked right through you.They get into why reciprocity is the bare minimum for a good relationship, the misery of dating someone long-term who won't commit, and how soap operas like Passions warped their brains into thinking it's okay to chase people who don't like you. Nava also shares the time she downplayed her Baha'i faith for a Southern Baptist boy who turned out to only be interested in converting her.Plus, the shocking research she uncovered at the UN about how media impacts girls of color - they are sexualized as young as 3 years old, and unchecked access to porn is normalizing violence for teenagers.Meanwhile, Nicole attempts to connect with the youths, and recounts the wild, slightly racist routine she saw at Criss Angel's Las Vegas show.Heads up: This episode contains spoilers to Netflix's You.Check out Nava's new book, Crushmore at simonandschuster.com/books/Crushmore/Penn-Badgley/9781668077993Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsor:Squarespace: Head to squarespace.com/DATEME to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code DATEME.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Disclaimer: We are not professionals. This podcast is opinioned based and from life experience. This is for entertainment purposes only. Opinions helped by our guests may not reflect our own. But we love a good conversation.In this unfiltered 2 Be Better Podcast episode, Chris and Peaches break down the “princess treatment” trend, the bare minimum vs princess treatment challenge, and a viral Rolling Stone article attacking trad wives and traditional gender roles. They react to the Princess and the Pe fairy tale, the TikTok hose challenge, and the idea that opening doors, pumping gas, ordering for your wife, and protecting her in public is “over the top” or “misogynistic.” You will hear a blunt, masculine perspective on chivalry, equality, and partnership, why “I don't need a man” is propaganda, and the difference between being fully capable on your own and actually wanting to be loved, protected, and prioritized in a traditional marriage.From there they zoom out and tackle the bigger culture war around trad wife content, feminism, and the dating crisis, including why so many men are afraid to approach women, why women who want to be stay at home wives are shamed online, and how real men see the value of a feminine, nurturing wife raising the next generation. They also go deep on blended families and step-parent hate, defending stepdads and stepmoms who choose to love and raise children that are not biologically theirs, and showing how that role can completely change a kid's future. If you care about traditional marriage, princess treatment vs bare minimum, trad wife life, chivalry in relationships, step-parent dynamics, and building a strong, functional family instead of living for internet approval, this video is going to hit hard and give you language for the standards you actually want to live by.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/2-be-better--5828421/support.
Book a Discovery Call for Relationship Renovation CoachingOrder Relationship Renovation at Home Manual from AmazonJoin Our Patreon CommunityTake the Emotional Safety Assessment QuizIn this first episode of our four-part series The Intimacy Gap, E.J. and Tarah Kerwin explore why most couples experience differences in emotional, physical, and sexual intimacy — and how these discrepancies can lead to frustration, disconnection, or misunderstanding.They share the real numbers (80% of couples face this issue), explain how attachment styles and nervous system regulation impact intimacy, and offer tools to start healing the distance.If you've ever felt like one partner wants more closeness than the other — emotionally or sexually — this episode will help you understand why and begin building empathy, safety, and lasting connection.Topics Covered:What the “intimacy gap” really meansEmotional vs. physical vs. sexual intimacy differencesHow upbringing and attachment shape desirePractical tools for curiosity instead of blameHow to start safe, non-defensive conversations about intimacyTimestamps00:00 – Introduction Welcome to The Intimacy Gap (Part 1) on the Relationship Renovation Podcast.01:35 – Why “The Intimacy Gap”? Why so many couples experience emotional, physical, and sexual disconnect.03:20 – Understanding Intimacy Discrepancies What it means when one partner wants more closeness or connection than the other.05:45 – The 80% Statistic Why 80% of couples face intimacy differences — and why it's normal.07:50 – Beyond Sex: Emotional & Physical Intimacy How affection, vulnerability, and communication are part of intimacy.11:20 – How Intimacy Areas Interconnect How emotional, physical, and sexual connection overlap and affect each other.15:40 – Real-Life Example: Planning & Affection Tarah and E.J. share a story about differing needs for dates and affection.19:10 – Attachment Styles & Upbringing How childhood patterns and attachment shape intimacy as adults.23:15 – Nervous System Regulation & Shame Why stress and shame block connection — and how to rebuild safety.26:30 – From Blame to Curiosity Turning frustration into curiosity and self-reflection.30:00 – Tools for Talking About Intimacy Simple ways to have calm, open conversations about desire differences.33:15 – Final Reflections Encouragement for couples to keep growing through empathy and understanding.35:00 – Resources & What's Next Info on Relationship Renovation at Home, Patreon community, and Part 2: The Silent Saboteurs.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/he-said-she-said/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
I was in one of those "big box" stores over the weekend - and Santa was strolling the aisles wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. I told my wife, "It was fun to see Santa. I was just a little surprised to see him carrying pepper spray on his belt." (OK, I made that part up.) But the thought never would have occurred to me, except for that crazy Black Friday and all the headlines. People getting pushed, punched, sprayed, hospitalized, and even shot - all in the frenzy to get some coveted item cheap. Well, there was this image on a news organization's website that was almost laughable - if it weren't more sad than funny. Pictures captioned with the day's major headlines kept rotating across my screen. First came the photo of pre-dawn bargain-hunters massing outside the store - caption: "Shoppers Show Up in Droves." Next picture - hundreds of thousands of Egyptians massing in a square in their capitol city, and it said: "Crowd Swells in Cairo's Tahrir Square." You're right! They were there trying to bring down at that time a dictator. I smiled - and then I sobered - at the contrast. One crowd fighting for bargains. Another crowd fighting for freedom. I was ready to put those pictures side-by-side with the caption of my own: "So what are you fighting for?" I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A Word With You today about "Black Friday Battles." I'm not against bargains. I like them. But the contrasting agendas of those Black Friday crowds were reminders to make sure that I'm investing myself in the battles that really matter. Even though there are less important battles that constantly jockey for my attention and for my time. We find our lives filled with the pursuit of more house, more money, more Facebook friends, more fun, more title, more commitments, more sports, more gadgets, more entertainment. We dance to the music of a culture that tells us what we must have, what we must see and do. We put our energies more into having than giving, into activity - more than relationships, into maintaining church programs - more than moving out to reach people who are clueless about our Jesus. Christians choose to define themselves by the ten percent that divides them rather than the 90% that unites them. Couples fight over petty differences instead of fighting for their marriage. Relationships between family, friends, business people often focus on the insignificant rather than what really matters and really is important. Church folks fight over music styles and personal slights instead of fighting for the lost and for the hurting people just across town. Jesus said to stop running after all these "temporaries" that possess the lives of people who live like this world is all there is. And our word for today from the Word of God says, in Matthew 6:32-33, "seek first the kingdom of God." In other words, the things that God thinks are worth living for and fighting for. Like the hard work of a happy marriage, strong relationships, building kids who have a Jesus of their own. Like the ever-living, never-dying souls of the people you know, and the powerless and broken people who break the heart of Jesus and ought to break ours. I love this high tribute to David, the "man after God's own heart." It says, "He fights the Lord's battles" (1 Samuel 25:28). After all, those are the only ones worth fighting.
Taboo to Truth: Unapologetic Conversations About Sexuality in Midlife
Part 2 of my interview with Dr. Tara goes deeper into erotic solutions for long term relationships, techniques that rebuild desire and the practices couples use to reconnect without penetration. Dr. Tara breaks down yab yum, sexual meditation, mutual masturbation and the role lube plays in midlife pleasure. You learn why women respond differently to pressure, why adoration matters more than appreciation and why most couples never speak honestly about kink. Dr. Tara also explains sex parties, sex cruises, female ejaculation, squirting technique, cuckolding, hot wifing and how non monogamous couples build trust. This episode gives you practical tools to increase intimacy, try new experiences and communicate without fear.Timestamps:00:00 Part 2 intro00:18 Why couples need more than toys00:40 Erotic solutions for sexless marriages01:05 Yab yum explained02:02 How yab yum builds intimacy02:45 Breathwork and skin-on-skin connection03:20 Removing pressure and responsive desire04:05 Why midlife women shut down sexually04:42 The role of lube in midlife pleasure05:20 How to give a yoni massage06:10 Slip and slide technique with lube06:45 Why receiving is hard for many women07:20 Why hand jobs are powerful for connection08:02 Using a vibrator while giving a hand job08:40 Why giving can boost intimacy09:20 Appreciation vs adoration10:15 Why women need adoration to feel sexy11:00 Emotional safety and sexual openness11:32 How to ask for kink without scaring your partner12:10 Using the media mention method for kink12:52 Dr. Tara's sexual profile13:33 What “kinky” means for different people14:10 What erotic parties are really like15:02 Why sex parties are safer than nightclubs15:45 The age differences at sex parties16:12 Female led sex parties and sex cruises17:05 Dr. Tara's first sex party experience17:40 Understanding squirting and female ejaculation18:15 The technique that triggers squirting19:02 Can you make yourself squirt19:40 Cuckolding and hot wifing explained20:10 How open couples build trust and connectionWant a deeper look? Watch the full episode on YouTube for a more visual experience of today's discussion. This episode is best enjoyed on video—don't miss out!About the Guest:Dr. Tara is a tenured professor of relational and sexual communication, and quantitative research at California State University Fullerton (received her tenure at the age of 33), an award-winning researcher, TV Sexpert on Celebs Go Dating, columnist on Women's Health Magazine with her own column 'Sexplore with Dr. Tara' and the host of Luvbites Podcast that focuses on sexual wellness and sexploration. She's also the new co-host of LOVELINE, the iconic radio show. Her work has been featured in ABC News, KTLA, Forbes, Cosmopolitan, Women's Health Magazine, Insider, and various media outlets. She's also on the advisory board for the MŌN app,
Planning a destination wedding doesn't have to feel like a full-time job.. In this episode we're kicking off the holiday engagement season with a mindset reset for newly engaged couples (and anyone feeling the planning pressure).We break down the five habits my calmest, most stress-free destination couples all have in common - from choosing their priorities early, to ditching endless resort research, to communicating with guests in a way that actually protects your sanity.This quick, actionable episode will help you stop overthinking, start simplifying, and step into wedding planning with confidence.Need help with your destination wedding? Head here to schedule a consult with me!Sign up with Going for instant flight alerts today!
Discover the best things to do, eat and experience in Istanbul, a vibrant city that spans both Europe and Asia. In this episode, I share my favorite historic sites, food experiences, spa rituals and can't miss activities, along with tips for navigating the city with ease. Whether you're planning a trip or dreaming of one, this guide will help you make the most of your time in Istanbul!
Disclaimer: We are not professionals. This podcast is opinioned based and from life experience. This is for entertainment purposes only. Opinions helped by our guests may not reflect our own. But we love a good conversation.In this episode of the 2 Be Better Podcast, we sit down with men's rights advocate Chloe Roma to unpack the modern “gender war,” men's mental health, and how online hate culture like the “kill all men” trend reshaped her life and purpose. Chloe shares her personal story of growing up watching her father be emotionally abused, how social media exposed her to extreme misandry, and why she decided she “couldn't stay quiet anymore.” Together we dive into men's advocacy, the men's suicide crisis, childhood trauma, adoption, the impact of domineering mothers, and the very real cost she's paid for speaking up, including being doxxed, threatened, and pushed to a near-fatal suicide attempt.You'll also hear a raw conversation about modern feminism, double standards between men and women, and how pornography addiction, OnlyFans culture, and early exposure to explicit content are rewiring an entire generation. We talk about the crucial role of wives and mothers in a man's life, how women can become powerful advocates for their husbands and sons, why body shaming, emotional abuse, and manipulation of men are minimized, and what healthy boundaries and accountability actually look like in marriages and relationships. If you care about men's mental health, marriage, masculinity, women's role in men's healing, and breaking toxic feminist echo chambers, this episode will challenge your beliefs and give you language, perspective, and practical insight you can take back into your home and your community.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/2-be-better--5828421/support.
Got some sh!t to say?This week, Marko and Steve dive into a painfully universal truth: we're all annoying to someone. The guys ask the question none of us really want to answer — “Are you annoying?” — and break down the everyday habits, quirks, and patterns that might be driving your partner (or that new situationship) a little bit up the wall. To wrap things up, they tackle the week's Listener Sh!tuation, offering their thoughts and guidance on a real life dilemma from the audience.-Articles:Psychology Today | How to Address Annoying Things Your Significant Other DoesBustle | 7 Signs Your Partner Is Annoyed With You & Isn't Saying ItSupport the showSh!t | Leave us a voicemail with your relationship sh!tuation at (903) POD- SHIT. That's (903) 763-7448. You can also fill out a Listener Sh!tuation on our website, podrelationshit.com, or email us at relationshitquestions@gmail.com. Visit Us |www.podrelationshit.com for more Relationsh!t content and information about the podcast.Donate | Head over to patreon.com/podrelationshit and start donating today! Your donations will give you early access to the podcast, behind-the-scenes interviews with our weekly guests, and merchandise.Rate Us | Go to your favorite podcast directory and give Relationsh!t a 5-Star rating, and a fantastic review!Follow Us | Instagram and Facebook: @podrelationshit
Disclaimer: We are not professionals. This podcast is opinioned based and from life experience. This is for entertainment purposes only. Opinions helped by our guests may not reflect our own. But we love a good conversation.In this episode of the 2 Be Better Podcast, we unpack a raw email from a mom asking, “At what point do I put my son first?” We walk through her full story, from being a young woman ignoring red flags and leaving home for an abusive relationship, to getting pregnant, surviving narcissistic and controlling behavior, and finally trying to co-parent with a toxic ex. We talk about trauma, your nervous system, epigenetics, how pregnancy stress impacts your baby, and why honoring the old version of yourself matters while still owning every choice you made. You'll hear us break down nervous system overload, abuse cycles, emotional manipulation, and why self-respect and standards are non-negotiable if you want a healthy relationship and a stable home for your kids.We also dive deep into high-conflict co-parenting: abusive step-parents, a stepmom demanding to be called “mom,” kids witnessing yelling, name-calling and physical outbursts, and what to do when your child no longer wants to be at the other parent's house. We talk about 50/50 custody, when to go back to court, setting hard boundaries, supervised visits, and how to protect your child without using them as a weapon. If you're dealing with a toxic co-parent, abusive ex, unstable step-parent, ADHD kids struggling in chaos, or you're a mom or dad trying to figure out when your child's safety and mental health must come before “keeping the peace,” this conversation will hit home and give you clear, practical language and perspective to move forward.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/2-be-better--5828421/support.
Leave an Amazon Rating or Review for my New York Times Bestselling book, Make Money Easy!Check out the full episode: https://greatness.lnk.to/1851"We want sex with one person in the long haul that is fun and connected and intimate and playful. And we live twice as long. Go figure." - Esther PerelFor most of human history, sex was procreation and duty. Women's pleasure didn't matter. Marriage had nothing to do with desire. Then everything changed in just 60 years. Contraception freed women from the terror of pregnancy and death. The women's movement challenged ancient power structures. Suddenly we started marrying for butterflies and attraction, expecting those feelings to sustain us for decades. But here's what nobody prepared us for: research shows women get bored with monogamy much faster than men. Not because women want less sex, but because they want less of the boring sex that shows up in long-term relationships. The romance dies. The seduction disappears. Men think foreplay is five minutes before intercourse, but Esther explains that for women, foreplay actually starts at the end of the previous orgasm. It's the tease, the pacing, the way animals circle each other without overwhelming.This conversation strips away everything you thought you understood about desire in relationships. Esther walks through why sustaining passion with one person for 60 years is literally unprecedented in human history, and what actually kills desire in marriage. The plot disappears. The character gets stale. Couples stop seducing each other and wonder why the spark died. She reveals the essential ingredients that make eroticism possible, why women's desire needs romance and mystery to survive, and how most relationships accidentally destroy the very conditions that create turn-on. This isn't about trying harder or scheduling more date nights. It's about understanding that we're living through a grand experiment of humankind, asking for something no generation before us has successfully achieved, and most of us are doing it completely wrong.RetrySign up for the Greatness newsletter: http://www.greatness.com/newsletter Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
What happens when a porn actress comes after your drag name? Lexi Love (RuPaul's Drag Race S17) joins Nicole to talk through the legal fight she never expected to be in and what it is costing her to protect the career she's built. She opens up about the panic attacks she had while filming her season of Drag Race and shares the mistreatment she experienced in rehab, which became a traumatic part of her recovery journey. Plus, Lexi also talks about her past life teaching anti money laundering to bankers, her best dates, and the night she was left abandoned with a bill she couldn't pay.Watch this episode on our YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@WhyWontYouDateMePodcastSupport Lexi Love's legal battle at gofundme.com/f/the-real-lexi-love-fund.See Lexi Love on tour with A Drag Queen Christmas. Get tickets at dragfans.com.Support this podcast and get discounts by checking out our sponsors:Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/3v6r90n6 #CashAppPod. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. See terms and conditions at https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement. Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App, a Block, Inc. brand. Visit http://cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures.Wayfair: Wayfair. Every Style, Every Home.Follow:All Links: linktr.ee/whywontyoudatemeTour Dates: linktr.ee/nicolebyerwastakenYouTube: @WhyWontYouDateMePodcastTikTok: @whywontyoudatemepod Instagram: @nicolebyerX: @nicolebyerNicole's book, #VERYFAT #VERYBRAVE: indiebound.org/book/9781524850746This is a Headgum podcast. Follow Headgum on Twitter, Instagram, and Tiktok. Advertise on Why Won't You Date Me? via Gumball.fm.Why Won't You Date Me? with Nicole Byer is produced by Mars. Guest research by Lyndsey Kempf. Executive producer is Anya Kanevskaya. VP of content is Kaiti Moos. Theme song arranged by Mike Comite. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.