Warrior’s Journey - A Narcissistic Abuse Survivor’s Journey To Peace

My life update. Day 682 post narcissistic abuse. Contact me at: vortexgirl203@gmail.com Paypal donations can also be sent to vortexgirl203@gmail.com I'd also like to invite you to come visit me and actually "see" me on my YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/AXHCRY04duE I'd love to have those listening come visit my website. I can use some help getting the forums popping! Please come post your thoughts, your stories etc.! It would mean so much to me! http://lifewithasociopath.net --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

This is a brutal day. And this too shall pass. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Sorry everyone but for some reason, the episode didn't seem to merge into one and it's 3 parts due to the recording length and something additional I wanted to add so here is the rest! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

This is some really raw and vulnerable, very personal pain that I am pouring out in this episode with insights on why and how it happened as well as truly showing how when you look at the eyes of a Narcissist, you are looking into the eyes of evil. Once we realize why this is happening that is half the battle and we will heal and recover from narcissistic abuse and we will expand our consciousness and heal wounds of past ancestors as well as future generations.   Narcissistic abuse is part of our soul's journey and it's here to help you be the one to break the cycle of abuse and lack of self love.  I'm here with you as you go through it and I will never leave you. xoxo My healing mentor and the link to her episode of Thriver Tv that was a godsend tonight.  I hope it helps you too:  https://youtu.be/HNh4Hq8mZdM  My Site:  http://affairwiththedarkside.com My Etsy Store:  https://www.etsy.com/shop/realm222/  Story of The Sparklefly:  https://amzn.to/2YXZ7Lf Pennies From Heaven and Mashed Potatoes in the Sky:  https://amzn.to/2WaTuwl Ambiguous:  https://amzn.to/2HIgQRc (Erotica Short Stories for those that want some spice! I run the gamete with writing) Just The Juicy Parts  https://amzn.to/2MeVXkR My YouTube Channel:  https://youtu.be/AXHCRY04duE My GoFundMe:   https://www.gofundme.com/my-do-over  email me:  vortexgirl203@gmail.com Thank you!! You are loved! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Painful, painful stuff tonight. Narcissists - go no contact, stay no contact or pay dearly. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Day 590 post narcissistic abuse. I talk about still missing my narcissist, still not 100% coming to terms with him not being able to change. Trying to figure out how to just be happy on my own. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Ironically this episode had 22 seconds at the end. And that it’s day 588 abuse free! Love my number messages. May you all be healed of the wounds that narcissists have inflicted on you. May your days of suffering be minimal. May you know you’ll be okay. ❤️ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Just a quick blurb on how narcissists would willingingly let us sit there and suffer when they could offer comfort or love in some form to ease the pain. They never will because they don’t care if you suffer. Why allow that? You deserve love and comfort just like you would give if it was needed from you! I hope you leave your narcissist. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Saying hi and inviting everyone who’s on a spiritual path to visit my new sister podcast that features only the happy side of life after a Narcissist! It can’t rain all the time!

Day 548 away from narcissistic abuse, 98% no contact for months now. It’s a better day than most and my vibration is up! I hope this episode will inspire you and put a smile on your face! A no tear episode!! Only smiles, I promise. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Advice for you during your relationship with a narcissist. And details on how my mediation went yesterday. Healing from narcissistic abuse is a very difficult process so make it easier on yourself by following these tips I give throughout. H --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

If you have doubts about leaving, I hope this helps change your mind. 531 days since I left abuse and I’m still struggling to put myself back together. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Is it possible I still have a sex drive?!! Lol That I’m still alive in there somewhere?? That enough of the onion peeled away during these 516 days away from my ex narc that I’m ready to venture into the dating realm?? Maybe.... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

This entry is about by hearing and how that went but I also have a very special story from an elderly mentor who’s brilliant and has survived abuse and has a wealth of wisdom at her age. I hope you’ll listen to “The Compassion Cloud”, because I truly believe it’ll be beneficial in your healing journey. Life after narcissistic abuse. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

I feel like the jaws theme is playing as my divorce hearing day approaches. So I’m letting out my fear through my words. Day 507 away! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

My first divorce hearing getting closer I do an audio journal basically talking about how I’m feeling, and how much emotion and anxiety I have. It’s just so ironic narcissists love to ruin holidays and our first divorce hearing is falling on Valentine’s Day. It’s got to be just eating that one up LOL. So that and some other stuff.... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

As per the title fell off wagon and broke not contact, now I’m in hell wondering what he sent. The terrible struggle of the Narcissist addict. It’s real and it’s terrible. Part of surviving narcissistic abuse. I’ll get there one day. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Feeling some sorrow that had to be dealt with, lots of anxiety over having to go through divorce stuff today that upset me, and then I also give you quite a bit of history on my relationship with him. I was going to do a separate recording on that alone but I ended up doing it here instead. At least most of it. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Quick and tiny good night prayer message. Love to all! ❤️

I was journaling new moon intentions and my writing became sort of automatic and I feel I was given a message to pass along that offers healing and good things to come for all who are suffering. If you’re reading this, you’re meant to hear this. Love to all! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Thoughts on a peaceful space and how a lifetime of narcissistic abuse, peace is uncomfortable for me. I feel anxious and out of my element. It’s one of those nights. So I just chatter away until the anxiety reduces. Thanks for being part of my journey! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

This is why you don’t break no contact, once again. I talk about my weight issues and how it’s hurt me that he loathed me for it. I talk about a few other things in order to talk myself out of a panic attack and crying fit I didn’t need another night of. It means so much to talk to the people that will be listening. I feel extreme comfort in that. So Thank you for being there with me. ❤️ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

A little pep talk and prayer from me to you. I hope you’ll realize your worth and how potent you are as a loving, beautiful being who deserves a narcissist free life! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

--- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Mild Sexual Content Warning - This snippet might get offensive to some??? Maybe??? Idk I just speak freely about how I miss my sex life with my Narcissist husband ( currently separated from) and let out a little details of our private life to help you in case you’re in similar shoes. I actually miss him sexually quite badly and .....well take a listen and I’ll tell you!!

I talk real quick about Inspired actions, what they are and how they can help us heal! We need good happy things around us as narcissistic abuse survivors so that we can heal! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Are we emotional cutters?? Here I talk about an analogy I was presented with in therapy today that makes me say, yeah we definitely are! If we’re staying with a narcissist, or falling off the wagon and breaking no contact...we are definitely emotional cutters! Interesting! We can learn from this. Tomorrow it will be 1 year 4 months away from him and now 1 day no contact. God it sucks when you’re up to a couple months and then break. But all we can do is pick ourself up, dust ourself off, and start all over again! That’s where I’m at. I’m right there with you in the no contact struggle. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Deep down you might’ve known the narcissist was going to no longer be part of your life some day??? I bet with some self reflection you will find you sensed it like I did when I was close to him. And just tried to soak the moment with him up as if I knew I’d later need to live on the memories. It’s almost eerie when I think about it. What a tangled connected, scripted, universe we live in! So yeah I talk about all that stuff in this few little minutes! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Inspired Action Can Never Be a Wrong Action! Talk about making vows to keep myself safe from harmful people like Narcissists. I apologize in advance because I kept losing my train of thought between 420 and PTSD I can’t focus well, although that is improving everyday I’m happy to say!! The ring in the picture is a reminder that just when the caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a butterfly.

A little more pick me up tips or survival tips that I actually got from my Narcissist soon to be ex husband and some I learned from my mother in law as well. Please listen to Part 1 first to understand the days will drag part a bit further. #NarcissisticAbuse #survivingAbuse --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

6/5/18 - several months into my journey to peace. I realized that the narcissist gave me some advice years ago that I’ve been using to help get me through this very difficult time of my life. I used his words directly to remind me that this can’t and won’t last forever, in fact it will fly! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

This was 6 months into my journey to peace, 6 months out from my Narcissist/Psychpath husband. When I left him I left all my stuff. I spent the last few awful days before I left at my desk in our bedroom, writing to my support system for advice and help. The desk was finally driven up to me 1200 miles away and the thought of sitting at it gave me great anxiety. On this night I finally sat at it and was comforted by a great Abraham Hicks I found along with some repeating number sequences. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

I haven’t checked the audio on this as I’m standing with my phone in my shower. I got in here lifeless and the energy I received just from recording what I was feeling without thinking about it, helped me to feel lighter. Please use this as a message that you cannot keep it inside. You have to get the feelings out and talk yourself through them. May your vibration be raised with you listen to this, no matter where in time or space you are! Love you world! Good night. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Uploaded an old recording I found unexpectedly earlier, and now hours later see something regarding the topic in my Pinterest feed. Signs... they’re everywhere! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

2/21/18 - Five months into my healing journey. Reading an article from my therapist about trauma bonds and do a audio recording about it to her. Thought I’d share this because it’s all part of the process and the more people can relate to what I feel and say, the more we can work on healing together! You might not be codependent, you might be suffering from trauma bonds from Narcissistic abuse. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

If you’re seeing 777 it means the angels are proud of you and that you’re on path to your purpose in life. In this segment I just finished a prayer for peace in my healing journey and saw 777, it was yet another synchronicity. If you pay close attention, the universe loves to send you these synchronicities to help you and guide you. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

2/6/18 Five months into my journey to peace on a bad night. Crying and getting things off my chest that I wished I could tell him but it wouldn’t matter because narcissists don’t have the capacity to understand the pain they cause and wouldn’t care even if they did. My narcissist said the most horrific things all the years of our marriage and rarely if ever apologized. I’m publishing these moments because I know so many can relate. You are not alone and it will get better I promise! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

5 months into my journey to peace - cool synchronicities stand out to me. They amaze me so much and it can’t rain all the time right?? So I’m laughing and just talking about the synchronicity that presented itself to me. This is to inspire you that in your pain, you can still find magic in this journey away from narcissistic abuse. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

My heart felt feelings on a rough night. 1 year 4 months out and I still have plenty of them! I say a little prayer for all who need it. Love and Light. Bella Light --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

I truly believe being with a narcissistic person or Psychopath or anything under that Anti-Social personality disorder, is part of enlightenment and spiritual awakening. This is just a quick thought I had on the matter. Someone has to play the villain, so they are that person. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

I was happy to get to tap record on 4:44 to start recording this prayer tonight. That’s where the title came from. Clearly divine guidance. This is just a Prayer for all around goodness to be surrounding us. Protection, guidance, love. I hope you enjoy it. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Why were we targets of people with personality disorders? Because we’re special, learn how to protect your energy. Prayer for letting go feels appropriate tonight. Love and light. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

I connect to Reiki energy and saying a little prayer for any and all who need it. I ask that Reiki connect with and send this healing to every individual who needs and is open to it. In the past, present and future. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

I’ve decided to start a once per day mini energy healing session and prayer for those surviving and surpassing abuse and trauma. Just a short prayer for our healing journey. I hope you enjoy it. Lots of Love, lots of light to you. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Getting to know the platform and how every thing works. Just speaking from my heart for the segments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

Narcissistic withdrawals? Hurting? Crying? Lonely? You’re not alone. I’m here with you, suffering right a long side. Let’s recover, together. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support

First video, bear with me, or is it bare with me?? Idk lol I smoked. I gt cutoff • 2nd “audio recording” getting better! A lil about me. • More stuff I say about narc abuse recovery. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/bellalight/support